- I'm ready for a sleepover.
- Okay. Today we are playing a rousing
game of Boink, Marry, Kill. - I am boinking Robin, marrying Alfred - and killing Batman.
- I'm with Ned. - How you gonna kill Batman? - I don't know how yet
but I'll figure it out. - Kill him and take his
place, now I'm the Batman. - Welcome to another episode of - The Try Guys Gay Time. ♪The Try Guys Keith Zach Steve Steve ♪ ♪ Try Guys Eating pizza they'll try it ♪ ♪ The Try Guys eating
chicken they'll try it ♪ ♪ Try Guys they're America's dads ♪ - Is it boink or doink?
- It's boink. - I thought it was doink.
- When did we ever say doink? - I thought we-- I saw on
the call sheet, it was doink. - No, you boink. You boink people. - Zoinks.
- That's also a good option. - I don't know why we're
keeping kill but getting rid of. That seems very, you know, Hollywood. - American ratings system, you're right. - Before we get into the
game I think the audience might be wondering what
we're wearing right now. - We are excited to announce
that we are finally releasing the Try Guys color hoodies. We have official Try Guys colors. Keith blue, Ned pink, Zach
green or Eugene purple. That's right, you and your three friends can dress just like me,
isn't that a dream come true? Head on over to tryguys.com
and pick your favorite size - of the blue color hoodie.
- No, no, no. - Okay, so today we are
playing Boink, Marry, Kill. In this beautiful blue goblet that looks great with my blue hoodie, I have no idea what's
in this bowl, you can play along at home and think
about who you want to boink. First round of Boink, Marry, Kill. This is good, holiday edition
for the first question. Boink, marry, kill. Halloween, Thanksgiving or Christmas. Have a holly jolly Halloween. Oh, no, my blue, it doesn't work. - Wow, the blue doesn't
work? Maybe you should go get the green hoodie instead.
- No, no. - Put a D for doink
because Zach f---ed it up. - Yeah, that's what I did too, it's doink. - No, it's boink. God damn it, Zach. - Everybody ready? Eugene, start us off. - I would boink Christmas, I would marry Halloween and I'd kill Thanksgiving. - Why would you boink Christmas? - I'd boink Christmas
because it's sacrilegious. - Oh wow. - I've decided to doink Thanksgiving because of the stuffing,
that's a sexy word. I am marrying Halloween because that, Halloween is the greatest holiday. I will hear no argument to the contrary. And I'm gonna kill
Christmas, I think in general it's just way too shoved down
everyone's throats and... - And you're Jewish.
- Yeah, also I'm Jewish. - I would boink Halloween
because it's a slutty holiday, I would marry Christmas cause
it makes me feel things, and I would kill
Thanksgiving cause you get all the same food at Christmas
but there's no presents. - I would boink Thanksgiving because people always come over to my house and I pleasure them with my food, and I love watching
the look on their faces as they gobble down my dishes. Then I would marry Christmas
because I love Christmas, it's when I see my family,
and I would kill Halloween because Halloween is
just candy and disguises. You can't trust anyone,
it's all sugar based, I can't support that, I kill it. - Halloween is about expression, it's about wearing masks,
it's about your true self being expressed in your outward self. - Yeah, exactly, that's
why you need to f--k it. - All right, next round. So will you boink, marry or kill. Your bae but they're covered in scales, your bae but with feet for hands, or your bae but they forget
who you are every four weeks? - Oh, my God.
- I love this one. - I'm gonna be disappointed if all of you didn't answer the same way I did. - I am the least sure on this. So I guess I'm doinking old feet hands. - No, no, don't doink the foot man. - Well, because that's
like the kinkiest, right? So I'm guessing that old feet hands is gonna be like freaky in
some weird way, who knows. And then I guess I'm gonna
marry 50 First Dates. I don't want lizard girl in my life. - I chose to boink
forgetful every four weeks, marry old lizard girl
and kill feet for hands. I could see myself growing
old with lizard Ariel. - Old Lizzie scales. - You're basically
thinking that you're gonna, like, recapture that with
this 50 First Dates idea, but the way it's actually gonna do is like she's gonna wake
up next to you in bed and not know you and be
like, "Oh, God, oh, God." - Did you see the movie?
She wakes up on a sailboat, he plays the video and they play "Wouldn't It Be Nice" by the Beach Boys, - It's romantic.
- No. - I wanna boink the memory girl because I agree you can count on that it'll be like Groundhogs
Day but for promiscuity. The first time we have
sex it won't be good but four weeks in you're
gonna be really good at it. And then you reset and then like, "Well, I gotta get through
this awkward phase." But you're already gonna
know what they like so you're just gonna look
like a f---ing champion. - It's gonna be like the
first time all over again. - I would marry old scaly, I'm gonna kill old feet for hands because I can't-- Are they gonna wear shoes in
the winter on their hands? - I have the right answer
and I agreed with Zach. - Wow! - I'd boink feet for hands because I get bored of the human body,
feet are chill and, you know, when you're having sex
then you'll just be like, "What is up and what is down? Hell, yeah." - Everything's the sixty nine. - I'd marry the memory because basically-- - Are we really supposed to, like, imagine the full-on boinking or is
it like order of preference? - Let him get through his list. - Yeah, let me get through
my boinking list, jeez. I would marry the memory
person because basically it's great for essentially
being a polygamist. You are constantly in dating mode. So I think that sounds really nice. And then I'd probably kill scales. I'd be friends with
someone who had scales. But I don't think I would
necessarily marry her or boink them, I mean,
depending on how hot they were. - Team marriage over here.
- Marrying scales. - We love our wives no matter what. - Murder that snake person.
- Team not married yet. - Oh, guys, you're gonna like this one. - The Hulk, Thor or Iron Man.
- So easy. - Oh, but I do love Mark Ruffalo. - I know, right, it's what we're
all dealing with right now. - I'd boink Thor, I'd marry Iron Man - and I would kill the Hulk.
- Yup. - Thor, not just the hottest Marvel, hottest Chris, and that is tough to be. - Funny, charismatic, charming and so hot. - Iron Man, you get to
live in Stark Tower, he's got all the gadgets,
the goods, the gizmos. - Also you get to hang out
with Robert Downey, Jr. - The only pause I had
is that I have seen that there's been some strain on
his relationship with Pepper. It's tough to be married to Iron Man. It takes a big person to be
able to carry that burden. - I would boink and marry Mark Ruffalo - because the Hulk is like.
- Ruffalo. He would just f---ing obliterate you. There'd be nothing left. - What if he hulked out
while he was inside of you? - No.
- Oh, God. - Boink, marry, kill, reading a good book on a surprise day off, making eye contact with
the person you're into, wearing underwear fresh out of the dryer. Okay so book on a day off, eye contact with a person you're into or
underwear out of the dryer. So I would boink the
undies because obviously, it's already got a pocket to be boinked and it's gonna be so warm
and it's gonna be dope. I would marry the eye contact because that moment makes your heart flutter. I'd kill the book because
I don't care for most books except for our book the
Hidden Power of F*cking Up which you can get at tryguys.com/book. Great book to read but I'm gonna kill it. I'm gonna kill books because I don't read a lot of books. I read, like, one book a year. - It gives me real confidence
for you as an author. - Yeah, I'm probably
the weakest of the four. - All right, I would
boink the eye contact. Eyes meet and you're like,
"Yeah, we're doing this." I like the book because it said day off and I would love to have
just a, like, day off. I'd kill the hot underwear
because I don't need underwear. - I hate the feeling of
not having underwear. Your stuff against a cold zipper. And then, like, when you zip up you're like, "What could happen?" - That's terrifying.
- Do it in sweatpants. - Oh, well, that's, I mean,
that wasn't one of them. I would f--k that. - Boink.
- Boink. - It's long enough in the video. (laughing) - I think books are sexy,
I'm doinking the book. The feeling of fresh laundry
all warm and cozy on your body is probably my single greatest pleasure - in life.
- Sorry, Maggie. - Well, I agree with all three
of you guys in my own way. I would definitely boink
some sexy eye contact. When you connect like that it is so good. And I would marry clean underwear. Look, I love reading, I love
books, I would just rather spend my only day off
doing something else. - All right book burners, we get it. - No, no, no.
- I'd burn a book. This one's pretty intense, your
past self, your future self or your self from an alternate universe. - But if I kill my past self will all other selves not exist? - Boink alt universe Keith cause I gotta know what freaky stuff he's doing but I can't trust him past that, I would marry future Keith because I wanna spend the rest of my life with myself. And then I'd kill past
Keith cause honestly he's - probably pretty annoying.
- Yeah, I agree. I think all of us are probably
gonna kill our past selves because it's the one we actually
know what they were like. And they probably weren't
100 percent all the time. I actually would boink my future self, because then I could be
both student and teacher. - Hot. Hot. That's hot.
- That's real hot. - I'd be my own daddy.
- The answer's obvious. You wanna boink your future self because you can learn from
the wisdom of your future. I wanna marry the Spiderverse Zach. - What if it's just Zach
with feet for hands? - Yeah, then I definitely
wanna get married then. - I agree, gotta kill
the past, let it burn. I want to marry my future self because we don't know how far
in the future that will be. Maybe I'll be on my deathbed and then I can just take the inheritance. - That's the idea.
- Didn't think about that? - I would f--k my alternate universe self because who knows what'll happen. I mean maybe in an alternate universe, Ned just like knows a lot
of stuff about chemicals and I'd just have me a very
explosive relationship. - That's your current universe self. - So you wanna boink the
version of yourself that - didn't follow his dreams.
- Yeah. - Would you boink, marry, kill. Dumbledore, Voldemort or Mr. Weasley? Dumbledore, Voldemort, Weasley. - All right, I'm gonna f--k Dumbledore cause he is full of surprises, marry Mr. Weasley cause he's a family man and kill Voldemort
cause I know it's a game but I don't f--k with death eaters. One of us is going to save Hogwarts and it's me, not Hermione. Me. - Such a Gryffindor.
- That was good. All right, you know I'm
gonna be boinking Voldemort. You know why, that boy
sometimes puts himself on the back of strangers heads. I don't know what I'm gonna
get, I'm into it though. Whether it's poor
Professor Quirrel or not, I'm into it, I'm gonna marry Mr. Weasley because he's dedicated his life to understanding normal humans. He's gotta know how to please
me and take care of me. And then I gotta kill Dumbledore. - I would kill Mr. Weasley
cause he's so boring. He's muggle level boring for a wizard. - He love muggles. - He's literally muggle level boring. I would boink Voldemort because, you know, I just feel like he'd be real freaky. You know when he was Tom
Riddle he was a looker. Remember when he was very much alive. And then Dumbledore I'd marry because, you know, who wouldn't
f---ing marry Dumbledore? Especially when he was Jude Law. - Oh, yeah.
- Good point. - I didn't think about young Dumbles. - That's why you gotta f--k him. - Young Dumbles.
- Young Dumbledore. - Young Dumbles.
- He's a looker. You guys are out of your f---ing mind. Mr. Weasley has, like, eight billion kids. All that dude does is doink,
that dude knows what to do. And then Dumbledore, he's
always playing freaking tricks. He's like "five points for you,
negative 10 points for you." He knew the answer the whole time and he let those kids get
themselves into trouble. He is reckless, he's a monster. - So who are you marrying?
- I'm marrying Voldemort. Process of elimination. - Lightening round very
little explanation's. Boink, marry, kill, Instagram,
Twitter or Snapchat. - I boink Instagram, marry
Twitter, kill Snapchat. - I'm doinking Twitter because I like it but I do think it's bad for me. Marry Instagram and I'm not on Snapchat. - Boink Snapchat, marry Instagram and kill Twitter, Twitter
just makes me anxious. - It makes me sad.
- Yeah, it makes me sad. - But that's so exciting,
it's interesting. I feel like your marriage
would never be boring. - That's true, your marriage
would be interesting. You're always involved in
really great conversations. - I love that.
- I'm boinking Insta because that's where
all the hotties are at, I'm gonna marry Twitter cause it's standing the test of time. And I'm killing Snapchat cause I'm not 11. - Next.
- Colonel Sanders, the Burger King or Ronald McDonald. - Kill Burger King cause it looks creepy, marry Ronald McDonald
cause McDonald's is forever and gotta f--k the Colonel, man. Who knows what kind of southern
hospitality you get there. I'm boinking the King cause he's already looking through my window
wanting some of this. And then I'm gonna marry the Colonel so I have fried chicken forever. And I'm killing Ronald McDonald cause the plastic version
of him is everywhere, always trying to get you to sit next to him and it's f---ing weird. - Ronald McDonald is a total pedo creeper. I shouldn't say pedo creeper for this. Well, he's really creepy. Burger King is objectively the hottest, even with the weird mask he is the hottest out of these three. And I would love to marry the Colonel. I feel like I'd be taken care of. - Colonel Sanders keeps
recasting the actor. Therefore every time we doink
it's gonna be someone new. I'm marrying the King
and I will be the queen. Shower me in burgers, I'm
gonna live in a burger palace. - We all killed Ronald except for Ned. - Boink, marry, kill,
lion, giraffe, elephant. - Oh, this is a good one.
- Lion, giraffe, elephant. - I would boink that lion
because he's fine as heck. I'd marry that giraffe
because it's got a long neck. I'd kill the elephant out of respect. - I will boink the
giraffe, marry the elephant - and I'd kill the lion.
- No, no, no. Doink the lion, marry the
elephant, kill the giraffe. - Yes, yes, yes, doink the lion, marry the elephant, kill
the giraffe, you get me. - Don't kill the giraffe.
The giraffe represents me. - It's not about you.
- It is about me. - Lion is the sexiest, lion's so sexy, an elephant, we could splash
around in the water and mud. - You guys are boinking nuts.
- Have you seen - a giraffe's tongue?
Sorry, that was very loud. - Boink, marry, kill, pancakes,
waffles, French toast. - I'd boink waffles, I'd marry pancakes and I'd kill French toast
because it's just too extra. I don't really care for French toast. - Waffles is the best, I'd
like to settle the debate. Waffles number one, I changed my answer because French toast, while elusive, if you get it right it is exciting. - You'd kill pancakes?
- Kill pancakes. - I think so. I dunno.
I'm half-half on it. - I would f--k French toast
because of the powdered sugar. So sweet marry waffles because it's dependable and
you can eat it forever. - And the crevasses.
- And the crevasses. And I'd kill pancakes cause it's just a less good version of waffles. - Oh, yeah. I would boink
pancakes cause they stacked. I would marry the waffles
cause of those crevasses, you know what I'm saying. And I would kill French toast
because eggs hurt my tummy when they're in their solid state of egg. I know all these things
have egg but for some reason only this one bothers me
and makes me poop terribly. - What about Cinnamon Toast Crunch, which is basically French Toast? It's the taste you can see. - That's a cereal, and
I'm not a cereal killer. (screaming) - Yes, yes, yes.
- That's been Try Guys. At game time go ahead and buy this hoodie. Okay, this is gonna be our final question. Boink, marry, kill, all your coworkers, all your friends, or just
a random group of people. - Two of those have significant overlap. - For the interest of
this boink, marry, kill we're not friends, we're just coworkers. - Eugene.
- I want to boink my friends. Now, I know this is going to
change our friendship forever, but I have some cool friends who've got some hot friends I've always
thought about boinking. I'm going to marry my coworkers cause I'm committed to this company. I'm gonna stay here forever and ever. And then I'm gonna kill
a group of strangers. - Because f--k them.
- I agree with Keith. I'm gonna doink my friends because even if it doesn't work out oh, boy what a story we'll have to tell. I'm gonna marry my coworkers
because I'm committed to the work we do together
for the long haul. And I'm also uncomfortable
telling the people we employ that I want to sleep with them. - Right.
- It's illegal. And I'm gonna kill some strangers. - Killing a random group of
strangers, it sounds so harsh. You know what I'd rather do to
a random group of strangers? I'd rather f--k them, and of course I would marry second try. - You guys are my family.
- We kind of are married. - I never talk about my other friends. I really love them but since
I never talk about them it's kind of like they don't
exist and so, you know, nobody's gonna feel bad
if I say I kill them. - Do they watch these videos?
- Some of them. - Probably not this one.
- Oh, shit, - can I change my answer?
- No. It's the same as Ned's,
now he feels bad about it. Yeah, show us what you got. Oh, no. - You're killing the company?
- Well, I boink strangers cause I don't wanna f--k any
of my friends or coworkers and I feel like strangers
has a better chance - to find someone.
- Rude, dude. You know what? Zugene is dead. If I killed all my friends
I'd have to explain it to, like, 20 different families of people. And that's so much work
as opposed to, wow, my company dissolved cause
everyone fell off a cliff. This is just cleaner, right? - You'd rather have sex
with a group of strangers - Than us.
- Than keep us alive. - Thanks for watching
another rousing episode of - Try Guys Gay Time. - Eugene, how could you?
- No, I wouldn't-- - Try Guys game time. - It is kind of a contest, because in this first
week we'll be able to see how many of each of these you buy. And then we'll know, which one
of us you all like the most. - So come on pink, come on! - Does that mean I'm not allowed to? Cause I like these colors. Am I not allowed to wear the other ones? - No. - No, you're only allowed to wear green. - I would love for you to buy one of mine. - I mean.
- He's not allowed to.
