- Oh this looks like a good spot. Okay let's do this. Okay now kids put on your sun-screen, put on your sun-screen. Okay -- here we are! - Today we are trying
on some sexy swim-wear. - We have collected some
of the most bizarre -- - Oh look. There's a pool. - Raunchy... - Ooh, right up my butt. - --and honestly just weird swimsuits. - You guys wanna go tanning? - We're gonna put 'em on our bodies and feel good about it. Oh gosh, I left your
goggles in the Hampton Inn okay, I'll go back. - Agh... (laughs) Oh god. (upbeat intro music) - Look miss, here! - I am a little high. I have severe insomnia and
I took a nap before this and I thought I took
these melatonin gummies but I think they were weed gummies, so. (magical zapping noises) Oh my god. Wait. Hey wait
it's like a little person. (laughs) Oh yeah. I've always said, we don't
get enough high Eugene because Zack and Keith
always want to be high and then I have to get drunk and I'm kinda over-- I'm
kinda over that, honestly I'm a little over it. Oh man, his name's Greg. Greg had a little too much to drink. Because being drunk makes you sad. And the world is sad. You know what I mean? You know what I mean? Hello? Ummm. - [VOICE] Are you looking at the boom? - I forgot it was there! (laughs) - [Keith] I call it a bathing suit, but you don't bathe in it. - Oh f*** yeah! - Oh-ho it's a sloth! - This one is appropriately
tasteful, ironic comedy in a swim-suit. - A sloth riding a T-rex
shooting lazers out of it's eyes? Who is she because I'm taking her home! - All it really needs is a
couple of cats flying in the air. - Do I look like a wrestler? A little bit. It's a little
bit of a unitard, wrestler look like, if I was a stoner
wrestler character? - It says like, I'm at the pool but I'm just here to have fun! - When I come out on the screen -- Oh my name would just be "420" - This is historically inaccurate. - These like, unitards
are popular, like, female apparel right? Where they
just basically wear this? You can see me in a
Walmart like this, right? What if I'm just like waiting
in the 7/11 behind you. (upbeat music) - [Eugene] You know that
kind of cool, doily style? Very grandma's doily. - My -- my toe is -- shoot -- my toes got stuck I the croquet. - (in a sing-song voice) fitting
things that Zack fit into! - Focus! Balance! Balance! - You know when Forrest Gump, when Jenny becomes like a hippie
and starts doing drugs I feel like this is
what she would've worn. - I got to get it up to my belly-button. - You could put um, cups on me. Because I'm a doily. - You know what I need. I need a big hat. I need like
a giant hat for this one. - I feel like my stomach
is wearing a glove, like a fingerless glove. - I don't think we're gonna
go to Coachella this year, because of like Corona
virus or whatever, but... - Okay guys? Guys. I look great. I look so good. And look at this. I can shimmy. (jazzy piano music) - I mean these are what
I used to have on my front room table to protect the nice wood and I left my tamagachi on it. - Why a hole for my belly button? This is not something
that I'm trying to accent? Do we still give outies to people? Or is that a mistake that
we cleared up in the 90's. - Let me tell you this. You can have a pool party at your house. Get in your bathtub, pop
a little bottle of wine, watch Grey's Anatomy like Miles. - [Rachel] I would say
I've gotten into bath-tubs with my girlfriends far more
than my boyfriend or husband. - Oh and with your daughters! Do you ever just look
at them and think, wow. (beautiful harp music) I am a God. - [Rachel] Eh, not God, but ... Still wow. - [Eugene] That's why women are Gods. Your conception of God doesn't compare. Because has god, actually made a baby in front of you? No. - Oh yeah sexy red little number! Lotta little ringlets. - This is a nice one-piece but it's so -- oh no (laughs) each of these loops is
catching my dick (laughs) - Yeah it kinda does look
like I have little boobs! I mean I do have little boobs, little bit. - The tan line would make me look like I have a 20 pack. - Oww (laughs) Ow ow ow. So what you're saying is, it doubles as a strapless swimsuit? - I'd wear this to a sonic convention. So that he can collect all these rings. - This is cute though! How about this! Can you imagine me taking a cute instagram photo at palm springs? - [Eugene] Sonic the hedgehog! Have you not watched the movie-movie? It's mainly because I
really like Jim Carrey. And I really really like James Marsden. (whistles) Both for very different reasons. - I feel like I look Iron Man right now. I mean, like, right? Like I look like a f***able Iron Man. (sexy pop music) - But it's not about this
anymore on Instagram, it's all about the butt. - I will say, what's going
on with this little guy? I have a tiny boner at my belly button. Hi guys. My name is Debra,
but I go by Deb-or-uh. - What's over there? And then there's also the, oh -- - [VOICE] Oh my god... - Right though? You know what I'm talking about! - [VOICE] Oh that's good. - Oh look! There's a pool! Ah... (laughs) oh god. Fill me up with water. - Everybody only takes pictures of like only them being like, oh my ass!? - Boop! Boop! This is how I like to enjoy myself. I can clap with my little lobster feet. I'm very talented. - Oooh! - Cut to Zack saying, huh? - No.. no no no no no no no no no no! - This is marketed towards, women? - I don't think that this is
enough to cover up a vagina! - Well this is just really
splittin' the beans. - Some people have vaginas
that are bigger than this! - This ones much more
appropriate to be a face-mask. - I feel like, again, the tan lines would be just kind of
all over the place here. - Yeah. Right? - I don't even think we can -- - [VOICE] You got to have bigger boobs. - Yeah miles, I know I need bigger boobs. - I'm a little bigger chested than Zack, so I'm hoping I can fill
a little bit of this out without the mugs. - Check out my mugs! (mugs clacking) (laughs) - Oh this is so much fun! Oh, I love the tea. Get your tea now at zadico.com! (laughs) - Oh it got like saliva on it from when it was on my face (laughs) Gross! Bam! Bam! - [Eugene] This feels
kind of like, I'm also a cartoon character. What would he name be? Bubblegum. Best friends with Greg. Miles can you provide a voice for Greg? - [Miles As Greg] Hey!
How's it going everybody? - Pretty good Greg, how are you doing? - [Miles As Greg] Doin'
allriiiiight, Eugene! - Here the joke about
how wines made, greg? - [Miles As Greg] How's wine made? - They crush you and your family. (sounds of absolute despair and horror) - This ones just in poor taste... - [Keith] Oh Jesus! - This one is, oh boy. - Oh you made Zack's body into a swimsuit? - My time to shine! - What do you call that? The lower back patch of hair some men have? - Oh my god look at how horrifying it is as it slides up my body. - [Rachel] Is it like a tramp stamp? - Yeah it's literally
like a hair tramp stamp. - [Rachel] THE CRACK TRACK. - Crack. Track! - It kind of looks like an octopus, against the ocean floor? - [Rachel] It looks just like that. - Eww! Eww! Eww, well. Zack has bigger nipples though. - Eww these nipples are
very dark and shiny. - Oh don't put that in there he'll be so self-conscious. - Also are these nipples? They look like owl eyes. - Strong padding I mean
look at my little boobies. - You know I'm a little
disappointed in the quality. I don't know what it looks like on camera, but this is pixelated chest hair. Really low-resolution. - So this is supposed to be a man's body created for a woman to wear. Oh, but there's no dick? - Terrible quality. I think that my chest is
better looking than this one. - (laughs) If you're going to wear this, and your goal is to make
people feel uncomfortable, you gotta lean in, baby. - Oh me? I'm having a ball. - You gotta be the
person who's like laying like this, and as people walk by you go, (yells) - Hey. (laughs) - [Rachel] Are you... ? Having a water birth? - Hey. Let's just get gross. - [VOICE] Oh my god. That's horrifying. - You wear this to be upsetting. You just -- this is only to be upset. Meow. Ooh meow. Meow meow meow. Meow meow meow. - Ooh! I already like this one a lot. - Nobody wants to be reminded
of their intestines?! - What's sexier than revealing
everything on your body? Revealing everything IN your body. - First of all, one thing I love about it, is that it's got sleeves. There's just something
so funny to a swim-suit, with sleeves. - I would wear this to a science class. Picture this. A magic bus. - I've been feeling a little gassy today you can see why. - And I come in, also I
have very frizzy red hair, and I'm like, hello students! They say, Oh we're gonna
learn about human-anatomy I say, yeah get on the bus. We're going inside someones body. - This is -- I feel like a great f*** you to any, like, if you've
got a really bangin' bod but you're sick and tired
of dudes checkin' you out put this thing on. (upbeat club music) - Hello! I'm this person in your friend group! - You know what also is upsetting, is that this is someone's kink. Someones watching this and is like, Oh finally he looks hot! - I wish I was a little wet. Ya know? Hold on. (water trickling) So you have the drips. (laughs) Guys I'm just so wet. - [VOICE] Turn around more. - I got all wet. Flip! Ooh naughty! - Great! - [Greg] I'm wearing a haaaaat. - (laughs) Greg, you're crazy. You kind of look like, um, what's his name in Jurassic Park who seals in the DNA and then get's eaten by the delophasaurus? From, also from Seinfeld? - We've seen a lot of skimpy stuff today I need something -- I need a one piece. Ya know, I need something
I feel comfortable in. (record scratch) Oh..kay this is not what I had in mind. - Oh yes, sling-shot! - I thought the other
one was silly string! What the hell even is this? - I like the simplicity of this. - They wouldn't even wear this in brazil. Would they? - Is this like, the female
version of the Borat? I think it is! Oh wow. - Would you like some candy? - My wife! - I've seen one of these at the store -- what you do... - [Rachel] What store? - The store! (laughs) So you got this, and then
you take water balloons... - Ow! Ow! - Really far up the butt. This one's the most -- the most um, have you seen The Descent? Great movie. It's the most, like,
that -- except an ascent. - There's no way for my dick to look okay. I feel like it is doing
things for my butt though. Is it too many things? - [VOICE] No. - My kid is gonna see this one day. (angelic sci-fi music) - It's tough because I gotta like, shoot it from, hold on -- (laughs) Guys! This -- this is, this is fun. - Rachel would you wearing
any of the swim-suits we've tried on? - [Rachel] Absolutely not. - What about the one with the sloth riding on top of the T-Rex? - [Rachel] That's the closest. - Is it supposed to connect?
Is it supposed to hook up? - Is this if I'm like, misbehaving? It's like, come on son hurry up! Dad I wanna go on the water slide! Shut up! - There's gotta be something to this. - Greg, can you figure this out? - [Greg] Nooooooooo.... - Oh Greg, you've had too much to drink. We're not going out anymore drake. - [Greg] Who's Drake? - I don't know why I called you Drake. I thought your name was grape. - Does it make my bootie look good? Does it make my butt look good? I've been tied up by that
broodish pirate, ugh! - Again, crazy nightmare of tan-lines. - This is funny. It feels like a, I'm
a drawing on the floor with which you could cast spells in. (scary suspenseful music.) If I was on the floor, could you see me surrounded in candles? And like, a bunch of 16 year old girls who are like, oh no magics real! No I was at a party once, and
like we used a Ouija board and there was a ghost named "Gurgsh" "Gurgsh" was like, he
kept answering, "no." - Hey greg... - [Greg] Yeah, Eugene? - Didn't wanna bring this up here, but your wife's really worried about you. - [Greg] I know.... - Sexy lady bathing
suits, I really feel like you're putting yourself out on display in a way that men seldom do. - She uh, she thinks
you're partying too hard with the uh, the oranges. - I feel like meat. That's been strung up, and left to dry. - [Greg] Well, I learned
from the best, Eugene. - Hey, hey hey! I haven't talked to the oranges in 1945. - All these suits really appeal to the different body types, right? Or different confidence levels? Mostly I think whatever
you want to wear, it's fine as long as you're legally covering things you need to legally cover that's probably all that matters, right? - Right? Fashion. - Well, this was another wonderful episode of the Magic School Bus. I'm Mrs. Frizzle, tune
in next week when I teach Greg all about space. And what do you do in space? You ride a T-rex. Goodnight Philippines! (upbeat music) - Is the booty hairy? - [VOICE] Oh, yes. - What does it look like,
I can't see it. Is it cute? - [VOICE] NO. - I think it's hairier than my real booty.
