The Trophy Woman | Talks with Tony

hey hey tony gaskins here excited today cause my wife got my new desk man y'all can't really see it but this hit a long piece of wood yeah oh death and i ain't gonna take no lie tonight i feel like oh exactly when i come in here and sit down got all this here space i feel like oh exactly when i tell you now today i'm doing a little episode of talks with tony logging into my computer right now now see with these you never know what you're going to get it's it's a smorgasbord in here okay so you never know what you're gonna get um hoping to get me a new laptop for for um christmas cause this hill thing got so much you know stuff on here take nine years to open up so y'all give me a little second now see we going raw we going raw right off you know the top because i want y'all to understand it's a little bit of in the life but if you're new here then you're going to have your attitude anyway so go about your business because the new people always who bump into your video they always they be in a rush you know for those people that's here especially the blessed tribe members the people that's here and in december what i'm be doing is random giveaways for the blessed tribe members because y'all support me by joining the channel as a member so i'll be doing a little random little giveaways little random little blessings and um so i want y'all to be ready for that you just never know i might post on the community page you can set your notifications i might post on the community page and say hey first 20 cash out handles that i get i'm sending a little blessing oh lord y'all hold on one second i need to put my do not disturb on cause it be it'll be just my luck somebody call me while i'm trying to do the video when i call it shut the video off now now see i'm going in here and i i literally i'm trying to get back i got to go through three four five pages of emails and with this it show 50 emails per page so that's how many emails i'm behind okay all right we got this here this is from a psychodynamic psychotherapist good evening tony gasters i hope this email finds you well thank you for all your videos on youtube they have been a blessing to open my mind about relationships hold on let me invite the lord in the wrong all right good evening tony gadgets i hope this email finds you well thank you for all your videos on youtube they have been a blessing to open my mind about relationships the insight i needed to understand men and how they participate in relationship oh this is educated when now after she said they have she after she said youtube she put a comma space they have been a blessing to open my mind about relationship semicolon all right now when they put that semicolon in there educated you hear me and then space then picked up the inside i needed to understand men and how they participate in relationship that's to say how they participate in relationships they got education on whatnot additionally i wanted to ask you if you could do a video on trophy women in in quotation marks in my life as a beautiful black woman i have always suffered meeting guys who had this i could do anything and everything for you attitude i noticed that most men i have dated were always ready to give me luxurious items money expensive bags bank cards to spend their money and car keys however they never emotionally opened up and just thought that material things is all i needed i always seen and i was always seen and treated as a trophy and not a human being so these experiences left me wondering what it was about me because i have always lived a simple life and i am not moved by a luxurious lifestyle i grew up in uganda and moved to the uk at age 13. i'm now 25 years my mom is a single mother who has worked hard to ensure that we had all we needed as a qualified psychotherapist now i have been in therapy working on myself and learning to break this pattern i had to learn to set very strong boundaries and standards to interrupt the pattern i'm single now and your videos have empowered me to focus on growing my brain body and brain the three b she talking about thank you again and may god continue to bless the works of your heart and family kind regards all right now we you never know what we're going to get in here and i've been hearing about trophy women but i want to i want to explain this to y'all so y'all i'm going to try to explain this to you so you can understand this a little bit see it's kind of and like you say you're in therapy and you're trying to you know break this here pattern see with men you always have to remember the way men are wired you always got to remember the way men are built and you have to always remind yourself that to a man you are a window your window like a glass window and just how you could see straight through that glass window a man can always see straight through you always so it's no it does you no good to be anything other than yourself so how you were raised and how you were treated so if you're a beautiful black woman and you feel that way and that that is you know perception is reality beauty is in the eye of the beholder it's several of us that call ourselves beautiful and we're not beautiful to somebody else but it's good to feel that way about yourself now that may very well be true societally for you if men give you luxury items and expensive bags and bank cards to spend their money men only really do that with women they feel are beautiful based on worldly standards but here's the thing is you have beautiful that is cutthroat and unapproachable and then you have beautiful that is gullible and naive then you have beautiful that is loose and easy and so it's different classifications of beautiful so you have to understand that as a man is reading you he puts you into a class he classifies you and all the way down to your walk all the way down to to your clothes your outfit that you choose the gaze in your eyes the smile on your face your conversation every single thing you do is being read by a man and so you have to understand that and so in that you just never know what he is reading and that's why you really can't play a role if you lose you can't pretend to be a conservative prude if you are conservative prove you can't pretend to be loose and free you have to be truly authentic to yourself and see a lot of times what can happen is you can buy into a certain image so moving to the uh uk oh that's a oh that's a great house like what is lenio i'm like what is them oh great how are right like getting a little salt and pepper in here now all right getting too old y'all got me asian i ain't had that great house oh god man y'all got my asian you know the lord gave him an extra strand of wisdom i'm gonna die here now see so you could be trying to play see when you went to the uk and see you grew up in uganda so you know i don't know what all ugandans look like i'm sure pretty sure y'all come in different you know shape sizes colors just like everywhere else in the world but that's the motherland over there so you got a certain upbringing then you went to the uk at age 13. uk very prim and proper and posh so you probably start to have this and now you're 25 years old so you probably got like this you know english influence you know africa is still prim and proper too like when i when i went to south africa different part where you at where you was at for 13 years the people i was dealing with over there in south africa and then even when i went on another part to nairobi kenya all throughout africa it's a lot of people that speak multiple languages so you're highly educated and totally the education system way better than america especially for blacks in america uk same thing you see in different cultures you you just you're different you raise with just more you know manners and just oh and so now if you beautiful and then you pray and proper a man may classify you as naive and gullible because your energy may be overly feminine to the point that he can't feel any cut-throatness in you and so he wants to cater to you and give to you but like you say they never emotionally opened up and just thought that material things is all you needed so what happened is they see you as this beautiful woman and they so accustomed to beautiful women just looking for a magazine relationship when i say magazine relationship i just mean like uh ken and barbie just going together and looking good looking like y'all just stepped out of magazine and so they used to that and then they used to see what happens is the world treats us based on how we look until we show the world what else we have to offer so the world will take and the media determines what look looks the best what look is in style and then from there it just breaks down to where now if you have this extreme talent the world will overlook what you look like if you don't fit inside of their beauty standards and you still will be elevated based on your gifts based on your talents based on your skills whichever one you're operating from but see what happens is men when they see a woman that they feel is beautiful they know that the world has kind of eaten out of your hand whether you know it or not whether you acknowledge it or not they know that school teachers gave you better grades and didn't grade your paperless as hard didn't grade your paper as hard they know that the schoolyard boys even if they bullied you at one point that they really crushed on you they know that other women were jealous of you they know that more men held doors open for you that you got more opportunities you got more jobs more promotions more you know people just looking out for you because we are made to feel less than by society and by the media if we don't fit inside of the box that the media deems as beautiful so a man just assumes that because you've been spoiled by the world he's assuming this you maybe weren't spoiled by the word world so y'all understand what i'm saying nothing i say is am not speaking in definite terms this is just i'm talking to the majority there's always exceptions to the rules so understand that use inference while i'm talking so they assume that because you've been pampered because you've been spoiled that now that's what you are accustomed to so they've put you in a box and they say look this all she wants nobody can take you out of that box except for you and literally it has to be practical it's not some magic potion it really ain't even therapy because a therapist is not going to be able to teach you this right here because therapists don't know nothing about this see a therapist don't understand relationships and men well enough because a therapist is trained on multiple things and then they hone in and focus on one but these kind of nuances is not taught in the classroom this ain't taught in the classroom this got to come from ground level this got to come from real life experience you you just ain't going to be able to go into any therapist office and get specific even if they have a term called trophy women they're not going to understand the caveats and nuances that go into this so it literally looks like this to where when a man come to you and he said hey you know you know what excuse me mom oh you're so beautiful hey hey here here's my car hit here my car and this man taking try to give you that car boom let me put it this way somebody beat him ugh only you this is a car and he tried to give you this car and then what you do you use um thank you but here you go i i don't need that that's not i'm not that type of person i have my own money when he come and he trying to buy you a bag oh you know what i really appreciate it but i want you to take that back because that was 2000 pounds and you can invest that on the market and 10 years from now that 2000 pounds may be 5 000 or 10 000 pounds so thank you you can keep that you see how practical that is so a lot of times it's really just reversing it's it's really you taking he don't put you in this box you climbing out the box you jumping out the box because he's judged you the same thing happens when society has chosen this look and you don't fit inside of that look the same thing applies so now this man come to you and he thinks oh right now light skin long black hair that come to the tailbone is in style racially ambiguous so let's say if you dark skin and you wear a shortcut and let's say you have let's say that the society says we're going with a medium build right now in our movies and commercials and let's say you you got a little more on you than a medium build so now the man will come to you and say in his mind he's saying oh you ease oh she's easy because she's insecure she's jealous of the other girls other women she's jealous of them she wishes she was them so she's going to compromise and do more for me because she doesn't fit inside of what men are lusting after and chasing so he may come to you and you don't fit inside of the box and he may just come and just throw himself on you hey excuse me how you doing come here you know what you just so beautiful come here and you have to literally whoa hold on hold on is today the day for you to go to jail or do you want to go to jail today sir i don't know what you think this is but don't ever in your life touch me without an invitation am i understood see uh because see what happened is he's done that to 10 women nine of them was like oh oh wow okay well what is your name oh oh cletus all right and number i can't do that with a name and listen here the next time you do that you better be ready to back it up you said i mean he did that to 10 women who he felt would be insecure desperate and so they played into it so now he took and put you in the same box as them insecure and desperate when you check him however that looks however that looks for you when you check him now he's like whoa okay all right you don't fit inside of that but okay so you classy so now he sees your natural beauty over here now when you would be classified as a trophy woman when he come to you and he want to whine you and dying you he want to spoil you when you reject that and you say no hey look no no thank you see the trophy woman is actually the one who got to go the extra mile because he it's going to take a little bit more to come out the box you see what i mean it take a little bit more to come out the box and so the trophy woman is the one who got the is the one who on the first date she said i got this i'll take care of this now that every single woman is against that soul men and women is against that but if you know you the trophy woman if you know you've been put in that box then you got to do a little extra hey i'll take care of that slide that on crosstake right on and he's like whoa hold on now he's going to pick it up and give it back to you but you got to make that point you got to make that point to let him know like listen i'm not like miss press head in the clouds foot up on the poof tight woman that that no i'm a independent woman i'm i'm yes god may have blessed me to look the way that you want your wife to look whether that's good bad or indifferent we we er our beauty is in our beholder you said i mean because it's been a lot of women that come up to me and talk my you know wrote me something you know i'm a beautiful black woman and i'm kind of like oh oh okay yeah yeah i mean yes you know just being beautiful on your level but that's what i really i saw her mama love her i saw that god love her but it just didn't strike me it didn't strike me you know she might have thought that because she like skin or because she caucasian or because she got a big booty she might just thought that that automatically classified her because she dark brown skin because she you know dark skin she might have just thought that automatically classified her for everybody but beauty isn't out of beholder nah when a man come out that money now see this is the thing though so what he what he's sensing for you what you saying about setting boundaries that does apply now you learned that in therapy that was a good takeaway that was a good takeaway you said i had to learn to set very strong boundaries and standards to interrupt the pattern you very right you that's what you're gonna have to use because what is happening here see the term all beauty no brains every stereotype comes from somewhere whether it's it's never accurate for every single person but it comes from somewhere and it is typically by what the media portrays so because a quote unquote beautiful woman is maybe seen as a rarity the movies will make the beautiful woman be ditzy not a lot of brains and they will have a beautiful but no brains having woman in the commercials and the movies and so that's what we start to believe and so when this man sees you he also is judging you based on what he's seen and that is saying that you're beautiful but you are weak and you are easy and you can be bought because you just like the finer things of life and that you will get on your back and do anything to have a man with money so he actually does not respect you and although he thinks you're beautiful he does not really admire you because when you are beautiful and unapproachable and understand what i'm saying now when i say unapproachable i don't mean that no man is going to approach you what i mean by unapproachable is that you don't give off the energy that a man can try you like there there are certain types of beauty that a man will just walk up and grab your butt because of your the energy he is reading which can be wrong but the energy that he is reading and so then there is beautiful that a man said oh cut your woman she'll cut somebody so it's all about the energy that you're giving off now here's the thing where does energy come from it comes from your mindset so you walk the way you think you act the way you feel so in order to change your energy you have to change your input when you hear enough times that you have to be confident and strong that you're beautiful that the man for you will be for you that you won't have to train a man and raise a man and beg a man and baby a man you won't have to wonder about this man you won't have to chase this man you won't have to loan this man out to other women you won't have to do any of that when you get to the point that you believe that it changes the way you look people in their eye it changes the way you walk it changes your energy so it's all about what you believe and what you've been telling yourself that's what changes your energy so you got to realize and understand here that when you get to that place now now you're in a place to where this man say whoa okay she's beautiful but i'm gonna have to devise a strategy a plan to get strategically positioned to where i can approach her because this type of woman here the what i'm feeling on her she'll make me feel this big if i come at her the wrong way so now he's reading you and this what he's saying so and here's the thing although you said trophy woman this really can apply to any color any height any weight because it's different trophies in different places when you look at all the sports leagues they already trophy championship trophy look a little different so you got to understand it ain't just one type of trophy woman in some regions the trophy woman gonna have a rotund buttocks in some regions it's gonna be look like she have a long back in some with a paper cut down now in some regions she's gonna be full you see what i mean full figure some reason she's gonna be very petite thin whatever you term you use so it ain't just one type of woman that's a trophy woman and and then it also depends on that man so men individual men will have different classifications of what is a trophy woman but guess what you don't have to adhere to his terms you don't have to be a trophy woman that's determined by your mindset your input what are you reading what are you watching what are you listening to who are you listening to now see a lot of women that don't fully understand men they teaching y'all thought energy they teaching y'all about femininity but what they're describing as femininity is thought energy they trying to describe this seductive you know this seducing spirit they all they almost describing a jezebel spirit what a lot of women trying to teach and when they don't understand that femininity does not have one definition see your femininity is your confidence your belief in yourself and however that look see for one woman it may be leggings with a sports bra for another woman it may be boyfriend jeans with a bomber jacket with you know the big puff jacket for another woman it may be basketball shorts with a t-shirt and some jordans you see what i mean femininity don't have one look it's about your feminine energy your confidence in yourself about who you are and what you bring to the table don't get classified to feel like if you don't wear six inch heels that you're not feminine no you could wear basketball shoes every day and still come off very feminine with a lot of feminine energy because your mindset says that i'm beautiful i'm classy you could be this big or you could be this big and still come off as very feminine because your mindset says i'm beautiful unworthy because what you hear so when you continuously hearing that listen you don't have to compromise you don't have to sell a man on your worth you don't have to sell yourself you got to know who you are know what you want and know that you never have to compromise your standards now see when i say you don't have to compromise i don't mean across the board i mean you don't have to compromise your standards your morals your values you may compromise the outing that you want to do he may want to go to the movies you may want to go to the roller coaster so you may say okay i'll go to the movies i'm not i'm when i say you don't have to compromise don't take that too literally but i am never going to the movies because i'm a roller coaster girl and i refuse to go to the movies that is too slow that is too mild that is too lame i'm only on roller coasters and if you can't get down with that you can't be with me that's not what i'm saying don't don't take it like that now compromise mean you're not giving up your religious beliefs you're not giving up your policies and procedures meaning if you saving yourself onto marriage you don't compromise that standard if if you don't on the microphone you don't compromise that standard if you don't curse you don't compromise that standard see your standards are rooted in your morals and values when you know who you are and see this a thing that's the thing now y'all stay with me now yeah because everybody can't understand everything all right so listen what you don't understand listen to the video two or three times all right so in the comments arguing about what you don't understand okay listen what a lot of women do wrong is you come on here and you and you let me put a battery in your back but batteries go dead so see it has to be internal you got to truly believe that you are worth the wait you got to truly believe that you could keep your legs closed until marriage and know that the man for you that your husband is not going to cheat on you and he's not going to leave you but see when you unsure of that a lot of women say okay well you know i'm going to try to be abstinent i'm going to do this abstinence thing but will a man really wait for a woman who's abstaining like really let's be real like isn't it true that if you're not giving it to him he's gonna get it from somewhere else like i okay yeah i'm gonna try i'm trying to listen i'm trying to grow i'm trying to stay off of my back yeah stay off of my back but it's like isn't he gonna get it from somewhere else that right there is what just threw you off that right there just confuse all your energy so now your energy is unsure it's kind of like now you tipton instead of walking heavy so you got to walk heavy see you got to know who you are when your feet hit the ground the devil got to know that you just woke up he got to feel you coming because he got to know that you know because if you don't know you get you'll get tricked at your spot if you don't know you ain't gonna be able to be ten toed down you can feel the beat back up like this right here if you don't know what you know but see when you know it you mean politicking with these men you ain't politicking with nobody you know what you're worth listen this the degree i got this the training i got i'm worth 75 000 a year you ain't got to say it like that but you coming in thank you very much well what are you expecting well the minimum that i can accept is 75 000 a year just due to my experience in this position um oh okay well well you know well we we have a few budget constraints right now so i mean we really would love to get you there but i cannot promise that can happen well hey no no worries at all i mean i i'll i totally understand if you have to go with someone that's a little less experienced and a little more affordable like you have to do what you have to do because your bottom line matters but i will you know respectfully decline anything less than that but i still appreciate the opportunity well well what we'll do we'll we'll have we'll talk and we'll see what we can do and we'll get back to you you know thank you so much this has been an amazing interview you're one of the most impressive people we've interviewed and and we'll reach out to you if we can make this a fit and then you boom you go ahead you don't walk out of there you don't walk out of there can't sleep oh my goodness let me check to see if i missed a call just staring at the ceiling you stand i don't know like should i email them tomorrow and just say like i can accept 65 just because i understand but they're wearing a panda making hard it's like come on no you got to be able to say hey lord what for me is for me was not for not i know better coming you got to know who you are and see when you're confident when you have heard it enough from yourself or from your a life coach your your accountability partner on mymentor.life when you've heard it enough that you believe it now you don't have to question yourself because see not your energy looking different see now your energy looking different see see when you the trophy woman whatever size shape or color when you the trophy woman and you're not sure yourself you kind of walking like i wonder does he see me i want to say you think i'm a trophy woman i wonder what he's thinking about me right now you see what i mean you're not sure yourself but when you sure yourself you your eyes on pride got that purse on your eyes on the problem got that purse on your eyes on the prize you hear what i'm saying he you he don't even know you saw him you seen him because you got peripheral but he ain't no you've seen him your eyes right on the front so guess what he got to walk fast he got to cut over he got to get in your view he got to drop something on the ground to bend up and come up and try to make a little contact with you just to slow you down oh excuse me excuse me hey you better hold on to that now you see you got good energy too so he see knowing who you are don't mean you stuck up see humility is confidence see humility is tied with confidence see insecurity is tied with arrogance so see i'm i'ma throw a couple names out to you your president in america your resident number 45 is that confidence or is that insecurity you see what i mean when you look at you know high ios is that confidence talking or is that insecurity see when you know who you are you ain't got to tell nobody about it you ain't got to explain yourself you got to sell yourself see and i know this personally because i i was insecure i was insecure and i used to have to try to sell myself to a tv network to a production company to somebody that's trying to book me for a speaking gig and and i was responding to the to the offer and then they'll make an offer and say hey unfortunately mr gaskins can't accept less than five thousand to come speak at your event because this this this this this and my wife see i had to hear from the woman that i know gonna speak truth to power so you gotta have somebody around you if it ain't nobody in your family it could be somebody a professional that's gonna tell you the truth see my wife told me she said tony she said babe jeanne she said listen you don't have to tell them all your accolades they already googled you google say a net worth on there for you they already saw you following online they already saw what celebrities followed they already know your resume but see you so humble and down the earth in your videos you ain't got no editing you ain't got no music you don't use thumbnails so you look so humble that people try you because it looked like he don't know his word but listen all all that matters that you know your worth you all you got to say to them hey thank you so much for your offer unfortunately mr gaston has declined point blank period and then so that's why i started doing that and they started coming back well what will mr gaskins like did i remember this company needed me for a little gigging and they offered me an amount of money large sum of money more than i had ever got and i just said no i walk heavier than that um i'm gonna need three times i'm gonna need three times that it was probably three and a half times that guess what they went from where they were and triple and a half did you be and because i didn't negotiate i ain't give no other option this way we got to start at which was three and a half times what they offered me guess what they met me right now right now they came up the way i needed to be because i knew who i was what i bring to the table now see had i accepted a deal with a little dark company who offered me a little bit in the past i would have already set a precedent for my worth and they would have said well we ain't got to get you all that cause you just accepted this over here that just happened on one of my cars i went i bought my car and he came in with a high interest rate and he said i said sir no you don't have to get that interest rate down he said you got another car with this interest rate i said hold on sir that's what you're doing wrong right there you looking at the old me when i got that call my credit one where i said nah my credit is somewhere else that you come in here with a new and so no he came in there with a new interest rate you see what i'm saying people will look at what they feel you didn't accept it or what they know you didn't accept it and they want to give you that and you got to let people know like listen uh uh if you knew me yesterday you don't know me today yesterday i would lose booty on my bike today i'm a stand-up pristine product not prodigal uh exemplary example okay we're gonna put that together again i still gotta i just threw a piece of paper away from a wide exemplary example that's that's who i am today so you let them know ain't listening you know you can't try me like that now don't come over here try me like that because you know what my wife heard me say that and she gonna slide this under my office i held on to it that's what i'm is here exemplary example they don't even go together but we're going to use it and that's what you have to let them understand and when they see that right that they ain't no ain't no negotiation and see this the thing that's why men don't believe a lot of women because this how you be you know what i cannot believe you that you will have the audacity yes that's in barack obama book title that's where i learned it is you have the audacity to cheat on me even if it's emotional i am tall beautiful fit educated well-worded well-spoken elaborate dominant discipline this so the man on the other end he like yes yes you are you are all that yes you are and i apologize i apologize for what i did i was stupid and guess what you take him back because you don't believe everything you just said you will you don't believe that he know you don't believe it that's why he tried you to begin with because he know you don't believe it that's why he give you that fake apology and then laugh at you when you take him back a third time because he know you don't believe what you you don't got the spiel down you don't got the words down but you ain't walking like that you talking to talk but you ain't walking the walk you don't really believe that and he know that so see this the thing men always going to judge and classify he going to be your judge and jury and he going gonna try to sentence you to a certain sentence in your life and if and you have to know what you are so that you don't accept his judgment of you because nine or 10 times a man could be judging you wrong but when you remember the way a man is built see remember men are warriors men are hunters daughter hurts harangues edition men are hunters so men have a unique ability to assess situations for danger to read people just like that have a unique ability and so you got to understand to a man you a window so he reading you a certain way now if his vision could be altered could be jaded because of what he didn't experience so he can be misreading you he can look in there look through that window while he went to shopping and thought he saw a love seat but then when he get in there it's a whole couch you see what i mean and so he could misread you but the only way that the term the only thing that determines that is how you see yourself and what you truly believe about yourself because as you all notice as we've been going through these emails i get a lot of emails that say i'm a good catch i'm a god-fearing woman but in the same email you on your bike so how you a good catch and god fearing and you slept with the man inside of three months or you slept with the man period so now you didn't call yourself god fearing in a conversation with this man but then you did the opposite of what god instruct you to do so not a man is like you is a whole joke you use the whole satirical saturday night live episode that's how he looking at you so now you've lost all his respect because you ain't walking like you talking so with this right here do what you got to understand see now what you're gonna have to do uh miss uganda and united kingdom is you don't have to get red you're gonna have to get read by a relationship coach who got the gift of being able to read you and when he or she look at your picture hear your story hear your background you're gonna get read and from what you're from your email what i'm gathering is that nah you grew up in uganda and moved to uk at 13. the the key question here was is that was that refuge or was that privilege were you sent to the uk to go to an expensive boarding school or or did your family have the money to get a visa to go to the uk or did y'all ex or did you escape to the uk that's going to determine a lot about you so if it was prompt print privilege then you know new word if it was prompt print privilege then you shoulders bite so now he's looking at you okay she know the whole dinner setting at a table what fork is for what what cup is for what what knife is for what but she don't know nothing about me she ain't never been taught by no man but she know everything about that dinner set she know how to eat proper how to walk proper how to talk proper she know all of that but she got no street knowledge no street wisdom so a man will pick that up she prim and proper but she naive and gullible when it comes to me so let me just boom let me show her what she used to she used to uh to some luxury boom because she looked like luxury now see you if you beautiful but you dress real down you dress real chill he's not gonna assume that you used to luxury because we know beauty coming on all kind of shapes and forms it's women who selling their body but they face is absolutely gorgeous but they selling their body so men know beauty come in all different arenas all different colors shapes sizes me and know that so he could look at you and now he finna go a little deeper and so when you get read you're going to understand okay like this this this is what's hindering you what's hindering you is that you think everything in the world is sweet that you think that you safe in this world and that majority of the people you meet gonna naturally have a good heart and that they don't want to take from you they want to bring to you they want to give to you that's how you've been raised to think that the world is your oyster and nobody's out to get you nobody's out to hurt you and you have not been prepared for the realities of the world now if you get read like that you think everybody your friend so now you understand wow okay i gotta get some new knowledge i got to learn how men move how men think that's what i'm gonna have to do and as you continue to do that now you're gonna start to move a little different now when you see this man your guard is up to the point to where you don't let him make a move you're not accepting his advance so if you say look i don't want to be the trophy woman but you accept that bad you're reinforcing what he believes about you if you're saying i don't want to be the trophy woman but you ain't never offered to pay your half even offered it ain't said you went all the way through it when he said no no no no no i got this but you never offered to pay your half now you fall right in with the trophy woman and when he give your car and you go shopping you fall right in with the trophy woman and i've seen this happen i've seen this happen in real life that women who have been deemed as trophy women like arm candy look good for a red carpet look good for a a charity gala or gala whichever way y'all say it okay and you know look good on the man arm and everybody say oh y'all a cute couple i've seen so many times where women like that have truly become trophy women and guess what they start to buy into it so they expect dinner to be a fine dining experience and they expect the man to pay yes he is supposed to pay but they expect it they ain't thinking no different they ain't offering the the pay they have they ain't doing none of that because they've been told by jezebels that when you offer to go half you are giving a man a 50 50 mentality you ain't giving no man no 50 50 mentality unless the rest of you is 50 50 mentality if you easy and you finna get on your bike now he gonna see you at 50 50. but when you offer to pay your half he gonna see you as grateful he gonna see you as rare he gonna see you as different and then he gonna politely decline and he gonna pay for the whole bill but then now he know this woman different so can i even get her on her back because she she walking she she walking heavy she she independent so if this the type of woman i could get on her back now he confused because he's so used to paying for the whole meal and a woman ain't said a peep she ain't open her mouth but other than than to eat her food so now he say he taking his mind oh you owe me so now he gonna try you now he try to move in for the kiss and and he got too much garlic on his mouth he got mono he got oh yeah that 19 on his breath so he to move in for the kid because he like oh you was you are a taker you you were receiver you wanted those so if you don't feel you could offer to pay then what is it that you feel you supposed to give a man because i know you feel you're supposed to give a man something so what is it and i remember hearing stories real stories now woman she go she get flued out all right i know it's flowing out but we we going with the young ladies but she said you're gonna get flued out she get flewed out okay she get that boom the man say don't bring no clothes when you get here i got a car boom i'm finna send you on a shopping spree she get fruit out let him pay for the flight she get there boom car pick her up boom he give her a car boom she go to the shopping district she buy clothes for a week boom go to a fine dining restaurant for let me know and lost the tail boom he paid for it she ain't open her mouth other than to eat that for let me know and that lobster boom then guess what he get a bite to his house make her move bomb she on a bike boom it was a it was a two-night stay and she slept with him two times and it was the first time she ever met him in person because she felt like because he did all of this i'm turned on this sexy he's a real man so what do i give him because he gave me money so what do i give him um spread eagle on a bike boom get flu back home man cut off man cut off don't heal from no more that's a real life story and guess what this happened every weekend this happening every week so that's what i mean by you got to change your mindset so when you get to the point where okay a man is supposed to court you and let's say you don't even feel comfortable offering to pay your half because of how you raise whatever you want to attribute that to i don't see any woman offered to pay her how and came in the comments and said tony you were so right i offered to pay my half he politely declined rejected my offer he paid the whole bill but then he called me later and he said you know what when you offer to pay your half today although i don't believe in a woman paying for a date i just want to let you know i appreciate that because there's so many takers out there today that just to know that you even thought that it's the thought that count see this is a new day today it's a new day today because see back then where this was started at women didn't have a voice women couldn't even vote when a man took care of everything and all of that women couldn't even do nothing but now women getting degree women getting job women earning money so you walking different today it don't look the same today men not reading it the same today even if you reading the same men ain't reading the same and that that might offend you scratch your booty and get glad but that's just the truth as the is men ain't reading the same today and so guess what when you taking when you receive and when you accept them from a man he gonna wonder well what did you find to put out and so that's why he put you in that box because see that's all the trophy is anyway see what you got to realize the trophy sit on the shelf a trophy don't do nothing a trophy sit on the shelf and it look good and it gets you credit it gets you applause it gets you cover this okay that's a new word when somebody coveting you see it gets you coveted and then and you just dust it when somebody you dust it off when somebody about to look at it when somebody coming over to see the trophy see understand what trophy women mean now it ain't even a trophy ain't useful for nothing it can't vacuum the flow it can't sweep the flow a vacuum is more useful but the vacuum don't get no praise the trophy oh you won first place in the olympic wow that's what that's what a lot of young women look like first place in the olympics and that's how man using you like the trophy woman so you all you do is look good for him you just the arm candy but he don't see no other use for you but getting on your back but when you show him no i'm independent i bring something to the table i can bring a whole table if i need to i can bring a whole table so listen don't feel like just because you paid for dinner you finna get my legs open but see a lot of women that's what they'll come to me and say well i just feel bad because he paid for all the days he picked me up he don't accept gas money he don't let me pay so like i got to do something to show him that i'm into him because i'm really into him you know what a real man all he expect is a genuine thank you you could literally go get a car or you can make a car and you can hand right in that car it cost you 1.99 to say thank you so much for your chivalry and for being a rare breed of a man in a time such as this just gratitude but gratitude don't mean changing your latitude you hit me understand what i'm trying to tell you gratitude don't mean changing your latitude all right or your altitude only know what don't mean but it sound good right there so you have to understand that he's not looking for you to get on your back he ain't looking for you really just to be no trophy he wants you to show him who you are so when you know look yes i'm worthy of respect yes i'm worthy of you being a chivalrous man yes i'm worthy of that but i don't owe you anything i don't owe you nothing sexual i owe you nothing i owe you a thank you that's it and then when we come together that i don't owe you a cook meal i don't owe you cleaning your dirty draws i don't owe you washing your dishes i don't owe you babysitting your kid from your three baby mama i don't owe you picking up your kid from the daycare or from the school house i don't owe you nothing but a thank you that's it because i can't be bought just because you paid for a vacation just because you paid for a date don't mean now i owe you something that is intangible something that has no monetary value but yet it's priceless like being on my bike you see what i'm saying and when a man realized that you know and you understand that now this right here gonna go over a lot of women head because it's not in your nature it's in your nature to be in a place of servitude it's in your nature to be in a place of not even gratitude but servitude it's in your nature to feel guilty when a man is chivalrous to feel guilty and see what you have to understand that chivalry has nothing to do with material things so like she said they give her expensive bags and luxurious items they give her money they give her bank cards to spend their money and their car keys they have nothing to do with any of that it has to do with how much quality time he gives you what words does he speak into your life into your mind into your heart and to your purpose you see what i mean what does he do for you that don't cost money opening your door standing on the outside of you closer to the road when y'all walking down the sidewalk what does he do for you to show that he's a shield that he's a protector that he's a provider but he ain't no sponsor he ain't no sugar daddy or like what they somebody said splendor daddy the man who want to be a sugar daddy but ain't quite got the finances he's not a sugar daddy or a splenda daddy or a true for your daddy but he is a real man see now see i'm done with this topic but i'm not done but we coming on up on an hour and if i just keep going i just be reiterating the same thing basically but i have to try to spell it out because i noticed not in a lot of women nature to understand how to walk the talk instead of talking to talk how to walk it how to believe it so keep being here keep showing up and keep listening and keep learning and it's going to change your countenance because it's going to change your confidence and when it changes your confidence that's going to change your countenance and to change your confidence you got to change what you're hearing all right you got to be cognizant okay all right yeah all these words today not get your dictionary all right and i need to make my own dictionary because he i come up with i talk too much i talk more than what's to do so he ain't got all the words i got but hey i got to go with my wife she got a theater for us tonight we got some couples coming here if i got a mask on all right but i got a little date night tonight god bless y'all we'll talk soon

Channel: Tony Gaskins

Views: 47,795

Rating: 4.9479985 out of 5

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Id: UikAF2ptLDo

Length: 59min 58sec (3598 seconds)

Published: Sat Nov 21 2020