- Hey, y'all, Scott here. You know, I have a life outside of talking about
stupid Nintendo games. I almost got murdered. Finally, I'm a victim. It's exciting when you
got nothing else going on. That's just the thing though. I do have things going on. I'm a busy guy, which is
why I'm one of the few who take attempted murder seriously. Every murderee needs a murderer and ours just so happened to
be Mr. Officer Steel Wool. Lucky for me, I printed this off before he tried to murder us. A while back, we were all invited to a dinner party. No murderers allowed. Somebody didn't read the itinerary. Everybody except the host
recovered from being murdered which makes us prime suspects to sue him. So today's the big day, we're taking Steel Wool to court, and I'm going to be a star. I can see the headlines now. Murder victims innocent. (door bell rings) What's the code? - [Man] I was murdered. - So are you ready to be one of the first allies in
the war against murder? - Oh, I don't think I
can be in the same room as the man who killed me. - Don't be such a baby. I was in the same room as your murderer and he (beep) stinks. - I don't know. Just why did he kill me? Was it something about my face? - I wouldn't take it too personally. It probably has nothing
to do with your looks. He probably (beep) just hates you. Nothing personal. - So what are we suing him for? - Defamation. - Good. - Your social status does really plummet after being murdered. - Oh, man. You leave your door open too? - I do this hobby. - Only on the weekends. - How are we killed? - All right. So I wanted to touch base until we head over to the courthouse. - Where is it again? - Vegas. - It's a 28 hour drive. - With normal traffic. - 28 hours? I have jury duty in 28 hours. - Oh, don't go throwing hours in my face. I'm the biggest Star Wars fan there is. - Why Vegas? There's a courtroom nearby. - Oh, yeah. I think one
has to drive through all the way here. - Well, that Vegas weddings out there. Super quick. You're in, you're out. Vegas trials is the exact same idea. I thought it would save us some time. - Oh, thank God. Turns out I'm serving
jury duty on our trial. - You're the victim. - An unbiased victim. - Well, I'm RTWSW. - What is that? Ready to Sue Steel Wool. - Just say the full thing. No, I'm busy today. - I'm letter plus nine. - I'm ready to win over my killer. - I brought candy to
throw into the audience to get them on our side. - Well, I can't wait to
throw this guy behind bars if he turns out to be guilty. - Didn't he kill us? - Allegedly. (phone ringing) - Hello? What do you mean you don't have a ride? All right, fine. We got a carpool. (dramatic sound effect) I'm just saying if we took that exit, we could have shaved off 10 minutes. - All rise. - Dammit. - You didn't tell me there
was going to be a judge. - Yeah. I wouldn't have worn this. - I'm Judge Absence. Welcome to The Litigation Station. The brand nine out of
10 lawyers recommend. And with that, I'm going to pass it off to my judge in training. - I'm going to be your judge this evening. Only here because my mom
made me get a summer job. (sighs) It's (beep) September. Well, all right. I got unbiased to be. - Okay. So what's the plan here? - I was planning on lying, but we can spice things up and not lie. - That's perfect. I can't lie. I hate lying. - It's ridiculous. Everyone's lied before. When was the last time you lied? - One sentence ago. - I just... I don't know. I'm gonna crumble. There's no way I can face my killer. - I've (beep) had it, okay? This is just outward trauma. - So where's our lawyer? - It says here in the court document that our lawyer is me. - Yeah. I wrote that. - Great, the (beep) purse
is going to be our lawyer. - Guys, I was there
throughout the entire thing. I know what happened, and plus representing yourself in court always works out like... And... And even... - I gotta now hand it to you. I'm in. - I mean, as long as we're
not against a real lawyer, we should be fine. - Hi, Lies Alots. Real lawyer. - Dammit. - Hey. Scott Wozniak, recreational lawyer. Just a quick question,
lawyer to lawyer here. I was wondering how much
of a real lawyer are you? Are you real as in professional or real as in concrete metal? - You know, I could ask the same to you. - A true lawyer never
reveals their identity. - Well, I heard that you're
representing yourself in this case and that you're gonna lose. - I wasn't planning on it,
but I'm open to the idea. - Listen, I've defended
this guy numerous times. I know he isn't a saint killer. Just give him a break. - So you know he's guilty. - Oh, I defend murderers all the time. I love those little guys. I'm a big advocate for murder. - What? Are you a murderer? - No, I'm not insane. - Well, I studied virgin law and I'm more prepared
than you and I think, and I'm not leaving this
courtroom until we win. - Oh, we'll see about that. - Can we have court outside today? - Dammit, she's good. - Objection, your lawyer. I have vitamin D sufficiency. - Come to break up this ice breaker again. I call Steel Wool to the stand. - (sighs) - So Mr. Wool, did you kill anybody? - Objection. He doesn't
have to answer that. - Yeah. That is a pretty
personal question. - I mean, I know he killed me, but I don't blame him
for not answering that. - Permission to persist, your Honor. - (beep) it. - Say it, say it, say it,
say it, say it, say it. - I think I might've killed some people. - Yes, I did it! - Your Honor, that wasn't a confirmation. If anything, it makes him
less likely to be the killer. - That is true. A real killer would remember killing. (jury falls) - I freaked out. I just wanted to make sure
the jury was on our side. - The only member of the
jury was murdered by him. - I did hear he's leaning
towards the defendant. - I've leaned in towards
him too. We're (beep). - Your Honor, I call
Jebidiah Jab to the stand. - Oh, great. Now they called the guy who doesn't believe in us. This is (beep) great. - So Jeb Jab, is there anybody else a part of the Jab family? - Nope. Just me and my vegan
in crime, Terry Lesler. - Isn't getting murdered
against the vegan creed? - I think it's frowned upon. - Yes. You don't want to kill any animals, but you can get killed all you want. Doesn't that seem a little unfair? - That is very quite (beep). Yes. - He's slipping. We're losing him. - Yeah, I'm getting real
sick of your attitude. We're in Vegas. Be happy. - Do you really think it's fair to make all these allegations
about this poor man? He's traumatized. We have no idea the impact of murdering five people has on a person. - Oh my God. I didn't... I didn't mean to. - Like you didn't mean
to get murdered, right? - Objection. Your honor, I'm mad. - I've seen madder. Keep going. - I think I have one more question. Do you think Officer
Steel Wool murdered you and four others? - Do I know he did? Yeah. Do I think he did? No. - Your Honor, I rest my case. - Son a bitch. So that's
what self doubt feels like? - We can't give up. If he wins this case, this goes on our permanent record. - Okay. I can do this. - Your Honor, I call Rex Mose to the stand. - Woo! - So Rex, what do you think
of Officer Steel Wool? - I think he's a fine person,
and a better murderer. - So you admit he's a murderer? - On the one day I was with him. - Your honor, should we really base this man's conviction off of what he did on one measly day? - Yeah. It seems kind of rude. - Rex, I have evidence from
the night of the murders. What is this? - Oh, that's a gun. - Interesting he knows what a gun is. I thought Officer Steel
Wool was the murderer here. - Yeah. How do you know what that is if he wasn't the killer? - Did I say gun? I meant Beretta 92X full size handgun. (beep) - Your Honor, he's just
throwing out random words. He doesn't even know what they mean. He's a dictionary with feet. That's what we call him. - Allow me to ask the others
to name that specific object. What is this? - Gecs. - A photo. - The letter L. - My gun. - It may be his gun, your Honor, but Mr. Mose here was
the first to identify it. I recommend we hook him to a lie detector for the rest of his time here. - Can we just hook that up to Steel Wool? He's allergic to the law. We can't risk him confessing. - Okay. So Rex, did you kill... - Your Honor, that says
it all right there. - This is a heart rate monitor. - Yet Mr. Wool's isn't
going off right now. - He's not hooked up to one. - Your Honor, can I win now? - No. - Okay. - Listen, if they convict
you, I'll just start yelling. They can convict you if you can't hear it. That's why the deaf don't go to jail. - I've (beep) had it. This
is just outward conviction. - They can outlaw you,
you (beep) murderer. - I call Wendy's employee to the stand. - Who's gonna be the jury? - Him. - So Wendy's employee, where are you employed exactly? - Why, Wendy's, of course. - And what do you do there? - Well, I'm the employee. - An employee like you getting murdered when he has a job to go to in the morning. Seems a bit unlikely to me. - Well, I just didn't work the next day. I don't buy it. Damn. - So do you really think this man could've murdered a dozen people? - Well, it wasn't a dozen. - He didn't kill a dozen
people, your Honor. - You check the bathroom? They got free soap in there. - Focus. We gotta reel this one in. Like a fish. - Yeah. (men cheering) - I put money on this
fight. He better win. - I call Terry Lesler to the stand. Terry, long time vegan, full-time suer. - If you can't sue a
person, why talk to him? - Can you point to the man in this room who killed you and your
four of the cohorts? - No. Not even a little bit. No. - You're really cock-blocking me here. - I can't even look my killer in the eye. You expect me to use a finger on him? - Well, what do you
want out of this trial? - An apology. - And that isn't gonna happen unless you point him out right now. - How can one finger
decide a man's destiny? - He's pointing at Rex.
He's pointing at Rex. - I've (beep) had it.
This is just outward me. - Your Honor. - Oh, what now? - It is painfully obvious
Steel Wool is the killer. Just convict him already. - I don't feel like it. - You seem awfully confident. I suppose you wouldn't be opposed to some questions yourself. - What are you saying? - I call Scott Wozniak to the stand. (dramatic music) So Mr. Wozniak. - That's me to you. - You're the only one
not injured in any way the night of these murders. No? - Yeah, it seems awfully
murdery if we're not murdered. It's weird, right? That was the worst thing
I could've said there. - May I ask, what was your relationship with Steel Wool prior to this night? - I believe he was tasked
with tracking me down after I stole copies of (indistinct). - Oh, so you're an ex-convict
and he tried to arrest you. I'd say you're trying to pin this on him. I'd say maybe you're the killer. - That's impossible. He's a murderer. A murderer with a heart of gold. - Oh, and I'm not a murder
with a heart of gold? - You're a murderer? - I was lying as a joke. - So you lied in a court of law? - As a joke. - So who was your plus nine? - The justices of the Supreme court. We go way back. - How do you know them? - I chaperone for them. - So you were a bailiff? - Oh, that's what it's called. I thought they just didn't know my name. - So are they going to show up? - I don't know. Let me check. (audio playing) They said maybe. - No way. You know the justices too? I'm their cousin. - I thought you said you had no family. - Well, that was to get the sympathy vote. - Well, we may not be
able to ignite sympathy but we can ignite a threat with that. (chairs tumbling) - He dresses like it's
2005, like, come on. We're in the 21st century. Dress like it. - No wonder he wanted
to supposedly murder you with that attitude. - He was ruthless. He tried to shoot me and
I'm allergic to bullets. - I did it. - I know that's a blow to your case. - All right. Officer Steel Wool for being so brave and coming clean like that, I'll let you off lightly. You are sentenced to death. - I don't think he did it. (energetic music)
This video is a masterpiece of comedy, but you might want to consider how funny it would be to someone who hasn't seen Great Mysteries of Gaming.
100% show it. It works perfectly fine without context and is one of the funniest things ever made.
You could edit great mystery’s of gaming down to 15 minutes and only include skits
I would submit one of his earlier lore videos, this one needs context.
Submit the speed dating one instead
Ofc
Maybe just show it off and say, "Okay, the witnesses were at a dinner party and all of them except for the lawyer character died, but somehow they were all revived."
I'm am a bit worried about some of the missing context maybe try watching and just try imagine you have none of the context from the the mysteries of gaming and just think "would this make sense to someone who doesn't have the context"
Yes it would be very funny and record it too if you can.