(car rumbles) (tires squeal) - What are you doing? The funeral home's that way. - We're not going to a funeral. I knew that was the only
way to get you in the car. - What the hell? I bought new shorts for that. - You've been going
down a bad path lately. - How lately? - About the past 23 years, give or take. - I can't help what I did as a fetus. I'm sorry. (traffic whirs) You took me from my apartment just to drive me back to my apartment? - Breaking an entering isn't as fun if you know what's happening. (door squeaks) - I'm not an alcoholic. - Your file says otherwise. - Listen, you're an all
right guy, damn near human. - We just wanna fix you. - I don't have to be mentally broken or not already castrated
for you to do that. I'm good. - Oh, all right. How about you just open
your Christmas present from this year? - Oh boy, I hope it's a snake. (paper rustles) What the? (Scott grunts) - Somebody shut him up
with some duct tape. - On it. (Scott grunts) - What the hell? What could possibly be wrong with me? - [All] You're not an RPG guy. - I thought that was my race. - Nope, my bad, got them mixed up. (upbeat jazz music) Hey, good news, we're not
getting charged with kidnapping. I just got off the phone
with the government and we're on good terms. - Oh, tell them I said hi. - You know what, Rex? How about you go? - As Scott's roommate of nine months, I think that makes sense. - You're not my roommate. - I thought you knew. (Rex sobs) All right. I don't know what RPGs are, but they do be a little bitch about them. - Yeah, what are RPGs again? - I don't know, a gun? - Do I at least have a
chance to explain myself? - This is America, so no. - This isn't America, this is Ohio. It all started 23 years ago. The doctor said, "It's not an RPG fan." Contrary to popular belief, I didn't always play video games, which is why there are no
records of me prior to '03. This was the year I truly
started playing video games, so pretty much the year I was truly born, which, you know what that means. I'm a minor. I remember my first
experiences with the medium being in the arcade. You know, you go to the
laundromat as a kid, and you're a big fan of the dryer, but then, as soon as you lay eyes on the "Galaga" in the corner, well, laundry fandom lost a member. The classics, "PAC-MAN," "Ms. Pac-Man," "Galaga," these were my favorites, so you know I'm fun at parties. My first video game experiences, and to this day, they're some
of my most beloved titles. Sorta long to say, saying
you love arcade games and your favorite is "PAC-MAN" is like saying squares
are my favorite boxes. Yeah, it's true, but who cares? It's such a basic answer. Anybody who hears you like arcade games wants to hear something
more elaborate or obscure, but I'm not gonna say I give a (beep) about "Klax" for respect. I love those old Namco classics. They were and still are some
of my favorite experiences. They're so simple, and are pretty much
the same song and dance every time you play them, but their gameplay never gets old. Around this time was when I discovered the Nintendo Entertainment System. It as hooked up at my grandma's house in the den area. I remember distinctly a
Goldfish cracker was lodged in the cartridge slot. Yeah, try it, it works. This was my cousin's old system, and he left it there alongside
a shoebox full of games. These are human teeth. "Super Mario Bros." And "Duck Hunt." I easily played this one the most. Keep in mind, I really (beep) hated ducks. Using the zapper gun was so cool, and swapping over to "Super Mario Bros." let me live out my fantasy of looking at sewage-colored man. "Super Mario Bros. 3" was there, too. Gah, what a game. Every time I play it, I discover something new. (Switch beeps) Holy (beep) "Excitebike" and "Ninja Turtles" 1 and 3, and "King Fu Heroes," and
"Adventures of Bayou Billy," because there always has to be a seventh, but I didn't wanna be a
mooch, I wanted to be this, so I eventually received my other cousin's hand-me-down
Sega Genesis Model 2. It came with a cartridge
of "Sonic the Hedgehog," and I officially gave up on life. This opened a world of possibilities, and closed another. I'm a video game owner now, Mom. "Sonic the Hedgehog" was the
first standalone video game I ever owned. I played it so much, I couldn't
get past the second zone. Me, personally, I blame the controller. Why did I always play
with butter in my hands? Eventually, for my birthday, I received a purple Game Boy Advance, my first brand new game system. The game I got with it? Sadly, this was after my butter phase. Licensed kids' games were abundant, and I played them for all they were worth. However, I also had "Mario
Kart: Super Circuit," "Yoshi's Island," "Super Mario Advance 3," and "Super Mario Advance
2: Super Mario World." This was my game. I played this to death, until I got stuck at this one part where you finish the level, and then the world map tells you to go (beep) yourself. I loved the world, the power
of that sense of discovery. This was my first true video game love. Throughout that year, I
got really into shapes, so, for my next birthday, I got a GameCube alongside the
Game Boy Player attachment, letting me play all my
Game Boy games on the TV. I mainly owned just licensed
games for the console, but still adored it nonetheless. I had to go to my friend's house to play actual video games
like "Pac-Man Fever." That Christmas, I received
a blue Game Boy Advance SP and a colorblind diagnosis. A few years later, I snagged my cousin's PlayStation alongside a disc-only
copy of "Gran Turismo," and the demo for "Rascal." I didn't play this much. 2007, I got a Nintendo DS Lite, and by 2008, I got my Wii, and I played so much "Wii Sports" and "Wii Play," "Mario Galaxy," "Smash Bros. Brawl," "GoldenEye 007," "Mario Kart Wii,"
"WarioWare: Smooth Moves," alongside discovering my love
for the history of gaming. I could download classic
titles with this system, even the ones I played
at my grandma's house. There was no need for her anymore. That was roughly my
childhood gaming experience. After this, while I still
received some game systems as gifts, I was a lot more conscious of the stuff I wanted. I wasn't as dependent on whatever my parents
thought I might like. I knew I wanted a Wii
U because it was better than wanting meth, but I
didn't even scratch the surface of all the Nintendo 64 I
played at others' houses, each and every game I owned, and what they meant to me, how I played and couldn't
get past the first level for dozens of hours of
"Frogger's Adventures" on Game Boy Advance,
a 40-minute-long game, but hopefully, this gave you a good idea as to what I was raised on, what games and consoles
made me who I am today. Notice how "Lufia II" wasn't mentioned? - As your therapist, I think you should be open to more things, like RPGs and murder. - But I've tried RPGs. - And I've tried murder. It doesn't count 'til you like it. - So what are RPGs again? - Isn't it a political party in Guinea? - Why are you so hellbent
on me being an RPG guy? You don't even know what RPGs are. - Yeah, I do. - Political party in Guinea. - We've been over this. - I always thought it was like a BLT, but for ranch, peas, and grapes. - Why did you all give me "Xenoblade?" - Oh, that's an RPG? I didn't even know "Xenoblade"
was pronounced like that. I thought we got you an enema. - Yeah, I was wondering why you didn't shove this up your ass. - [Scott] No. Based on my childhood gaming experiences, it should be fairly obvious I enjoy more arcade-y games. Now, what does that mean? Outside of me being wrong, well, it doesn't mean it
has to be from the arcade, more so it retains elements
of arcade gameplay. Look at "PAC-MAN," for example. I can all day. Quick reflexes, simple controls, easy-to-grasp concept. Anybody can pick it up and play, but very few can master it. Have you seen professional
"PAC-MAN" players? Nope, they live in the Vatican. The concepts at play
here really matter to me. If a game is like this at all, I'm gonna sleep well that night. This is probably why platforming is my favorite genre of gaming. You run and jump. It can't get much simpler than that. To anybody who has an
argument against that, my mom never got "Tetris." "Pong?" My grandma said, "What
the (beep) is that?" But with platformers, I mean, they would 100% not be
able to play them well, but they at least understand
what you're supposed to do, and the objective. It's just like life. Get to the end. Running and jumping, there an endless amount of
things you can do with that. You can be a plumber, an evil plumber, a plumber's girlfriend. I value simplicity at face value, where, like, well, this
is super easy to get, but when you dig deeper, you find all these elements that add up to the game being as good as it is. So, just because my favorite
genre is platformers doesn't mean I'll get
sweaty for "Lep's World 2." No, you take games like
"Super Mario Galaxy," "Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze," "Sonic Mania," "Mega Man X," "Celeste," you start playing them, and immediately, you're like, I get it. I understand how to play it, what to do, and why people give a (beep) But then you start to notice
amazing design details, though, when it's all aspects of the gameplay, realizing, wow, this game
is a master class of design. This affects that, and that
can't be there without this. That's what turns an already
great game into a masterpiece. I love the pick up and
play nature of platformers, how you get instant
gratification when you jump. You're like, wow, I did that. When you defeat an enemy, when you just barely cross a gap, there's a rhythm to it all. It may be one of the most
generic video game genres, like, it's what I immediately think of when video game gets brought up, but I think it's for good reason. That doesn't mean I'm
opposed to other genres. I love puzzle games for a
lot of the same reasons. Rhythm games can be incredibly
satisfying and addictive. Adventure games are a dream to
get completely submerged in. Shooters I'm awful at, but they can be a blast. - Get to the (beep) Xeno (beep) - [Scott] I don't like RPGs. Now, what is an RPG? Why would you ask me? Role-playing games are games where the player controls
the actions of a character and/or several party members immersed in some well-defined world. - Oh.
- Mm. - So, what does that make me? - An abuser. Technically speaking, this
genre definition can be linked to pretty much most games
regardless of genre. Take any game, you are
controlling the actions of a character and are immersed
in a well-defined world. The definition of an
RPG can be a bit hazy. I've seen people call the
(beep) economy an RPG. But you can't fool me. RPG is just like a cloud, I know one when I see it. Oh, there's no debate. Let us go into some of the characteristics of traditional RPGs. Number one, elf (beep) Fantasy is generally the
go-to genre of the genre. It kinda stems from the
origins of video game RGPs, which were tabletop RPGs
like "Dungeons and Dragons." I'll stick to "Yahtzee." Of course, an RPG can be
set in any kind of world, but just like how puzzle games
love the colored shape trope, fantasy is the go-to here, and there's nothing wrong with that. Some of my best friends are a fantasy. - So what's the big deal? I love fantasy. Put that with three letters, I'm sold. - Yeah, seems to me you don't have much of an argument in here. - Like Stalin. - Stalin (beep) hated RPGs, but loved "Donkey Kong
Country: Tropical Freeze." Yes, absolutely.
- Yeah. Okay, yeah. - Okay, so we're- - I'm into it. - We're on the same page. - I like it.
- Yeah. (men chatter) (tone rings) - [Rex] Good point, better point. (intense rock music) ♪ It's not "FlingSmash," "Geist" ♪ ♪ Or "Burnout Crash!" ♪ ♪ Not "Mario Party 6" or "Ultra Smash" ♪ ♪ Neither "Club House
Games" or "Wii Fit Plus" ♪ ♪ Nor "Family Feud" on SNES ♪ ♪ All the games I play,
whether good or bad ♪ ♪ Have tropes in common,
my favorite doodads ♪ ♪ It may be rushed, or plain, or flawed ♪ ♪ But then, RPGs, oh, thank god ♪ (soft piano music) ♪ Are my tastes just bad ♪ ♪ Am I the one to blame ♪ ♪ Or is it RPGs that are dumb and lame ♪ No. ♪ Why don't you play them ♪ ♪ They just take so
damn long to complete ♪ ♪ Why don't you play them ♪ ♪ 60 hours just to rinse and repeat ♪ ♪ But you could grind for years ♪ ♪ Just to beat that boss, oh ♪ ♪ Why waste all this
time on just one game ♪ ♪ Why don't you play them ♪ - I just don't like them. I just wanna play stupid Nintendo games that aren't this stupid. Why don't I like them? Okay. ♪ Turn-based battles and too much text ♪ ♪ I'd rather be out not having sex ♪ ♪ Menu clutter and useless stats ♪ ♪ And random encounters can kiss my ass ♪ ♪ No gameplay 'til hours in ♪ ♪ Combat ready ♪ ♪ How did I win ♪ ♪ The same thing happens over again ♪ ♪ And that there fun part comes up when ♪ ♪ I missed one thing, and now I'm lost ♪ ♪ That one inch of text
really meant a lot ♪ ♪ There's some shop with
items I can't afford ♪ ♪ So grind for money ♪ ♪ You won't be bored ♪ ♪ I'm tired, I'm scared,
I'm not having fun ♪ ♪ There's no other way this can be spun ♪ ♪ What do I do ♪ ♪ What do I check ♪ ♪ It's an RPG, what did I expect ♪ ♪ Why don't you play them ♪ ♪ They're so good though ♪ ♪ Listen guys, you can have opinions ♪ ♪ Why don't you play them ♪ ♪ They're not my style ♪ ♪ Start a new file ♪ ♪ Why don't you ♪ ♪ Why, why don't you ♪ Number two, wait your turn (beep) The de facto setup most
for RPGs most think of is the turn-based RPG. I don't wanna wait to be disappointed. This isn't a pregnancy. So, let's look at how
a turn-based RPG works. You're exploring this vast world, and experiencing a story as it unfolds. That's the point of most RPGs, to create a universe that
you want to get lost in, tell a story unlike any other, with some of the most
memorable characters out there. This is why video games
are such a popular medium to tell stories through. You are a character. This story is happening to you. Your friends in the
game start to feel real if it's done right. Most role-playing games heavily depend on an engaging story, and of course, stories need conflict, so what happens when danger strikes? While I'm walking around, enjoying myself, thinking, what's next? (intense rock music) Homicide. Here's a list of things I can do. I can attack, usually
perform some special ability, like existence. Well, that didn't do a damn thing. Or just give up, run, bitch out, they don't care. So I select what I wanna do, I watch the character do
what I told them to do. Then it's the enemy's turn,
because it's only fair. They attack? Thanks. And now, we're back to me. I'll probably attack again. Actually, it might be a good time to heal myself with some medicine. Good I brought Dayquil. All right, and it's their turn again. They attack, and now, we're back to
me again, all right. Obviously, there's
nothing inherently wrong with turn-based battles. It's a time-tested gameplay style. If it was completely
outdated and uninteresting, it would've been ripped
outta games eons ago. There's a reason text-based
adventure games died out, and their technology is
being reused on Tinder. We still get turn-based
battles and games constantly. They obviously work. There is depth here, and most video game players like them. The biggest media franchise
on the planet is Pokemon, and it's a turn-based RPG. It works. But wanna see why Scott's a (beep) idiot? - I can see it. - [Scott] So, the point
of a role-playing game is to make me feel as
if I'm playing a role. If I'm supposed to be
immersed as this character, why are battles set up like this? This is potentially the worst way to immerse me in an experience. When will my mortal enemy
Bat Number Four wait for me to pick an attack, and then let her rip. Why would I give them a chance to hurt me? That's just counter-productive. And going through my list
of attacks I can perform, it doesn't make me feel like I'm the one performing them. It feels like I'm commanding
that character to do it. Turn-based combat almost feels at odds with the rest of what these
games are trying to do. If it's trying to make me feel as if I am the character, going to the extent of
having me name them myself, why are the battles like puppet shows? Well, I guess you could
view RPGs as a performance. The origins of tabletop RPGs, you announce everything you're doing as if it's a book being written right there on the spot. So there's some showmanship to it all. It's a role-playing game, so it's like these are actors taking on the roles of these characters. So, again, why can I name this guy myself if I'm playing the role of him? Most of the time, the actor doesn't pick
the character's name. I just don't feel like I'm
doing anything in these battles. Clicking through a menu doesn't feel like I'm accomplishing anything, and landing a great attack, I just don't feel incredibly accomplished. I selected a menu option. I'll play "Pac-Land" for that, thank you. Taking turns just slow
things down so much. Like, what is he waiting for? Just shoot me. To be fair, I mean, it
does offer strategy. You have to sit and think sometimes, like, hm, how do I want
this man to gut me? Not every game should
have action-packed combat. It's good to have options. I just (beep) hate this one. Out of all the games to have a ton of enemy encounters, why do RPGs have them the most? They go on forever, and there's a million of
them you have to go through, all against the same
enemies over and over again. Think of everything you
could do with all that time. - Nope, I got nothing. - And then there's the fact that many of these games
have random encounters. All right, here we are, number three. Oops. Oh, good, I try to make my way from point A to point B, but I'll randomly be forced to partake in a battle. I don't even see the enemies
when I run into them. Like, what's the context
of this happening? Oh, wow, here I am. - Hey.
(beep) - [Scott] Sure, it keeps you on your toes, but it's like, how often
do I have to be on my toes? This is painful. It's like, yeah, it's a surprise. You always have to be ready for a battle, but on your way to a location, you can expect at least two or three random battles thrown in there. So, at that point, it's not a surprise. I'm expecting it. Did these need to happen? Do they make the game better? No, but, to be fair, lots of non-RPGs have
random enemy placements that don't need to be there. Like, I could give a (beep)
about your Goomba placement. But these random encounters
happen out of nowhere. You don't even see where the enemies are, you just randomly get
thrown into a battle. You can't easily avoid this, and when you're in the battle itself, it takes just as long as any
standard battle in the game, battles that are required for progression. - Well, it's more fun
to get shot by surprise than to know ahead of time. - [Scott] Well, I guess
random encounters are here because another big element
of RPGs are experience points, leveling your character
up from string cheese weak to being stronger than any being. I can do anything now. I can stomach playing "Final Fantasy." Number four, feeling like
you did something today. Having a visual indication of just how much stronger you get after each and every battle
is unbelievably satisfying. I think experience points, or EXP, make RPGs for people. You know just how long it takes to go through a whole battle with an ant, and that ant can kick your ass. Like, it puts up a fight. But then, a few hours in, you level up, and you're more powerful, you can one-shot kill those ants. Character development. I'm now better than ants. But you know what you have to do in so many of these games? You have to grind for
your experience points. You have to wander around, get into random encounters, and just win a bunch
of battles to level up before you progress. Of course, most of the
time, you don't have to, but it's kinda necessary if you don't wanna stain the carpet with your decapitated head. Grinding almost feels like I'm exploiting the game sometimes. Like, is this really how
the game was designed? For me to walk around in
circles for two hours, doing nothing but getting
into random battles, fighting weak enemies to
gain extra experience? I just killed snails for 20 minutes. I'm ready to take on Satan. - I think we have some more to say. Target employee? - He works at Target? - Oh, yeah, big time. - I love his work. I mean, did you see how
stocked the shelves were today? - Oh, yeah, I saw how stocked
the shelves were today. - Uh, yeah, Scott, you
mostly knew my brother. He worked at Wendy's. He was a really good guy. Mostly dead nowadays. - Didn't he work at Wendy's? - Sh, he's talking. - His dying wish was to see you play "NieR Replicant Version 1.224744," I think he was having a seizure. - See? We care about you, man. - My foot's turning purple. - See, you lock yourself
outta so many experiences, saying you're not an RPG guy. That's the oldest excuse in the book. - Gets me outta jury duty. - What else am I supposed to say? - Why, yes, please, I'll take one "Suikoden IV." - My parents met over that one. - [Scott] What about the
stories of these games? That's why you play them. So, here, we have number five, incredible, engaging, long-winded, weird as hell plots. Video games can house some of the greatest tales ever told, and it seemed like RPGs were the only way to tell those kind of stories years ago, and I think there's a clear reason to make a story into a video game, compared to just a movie or a book. It's the experience. There are tons of video game stories that are great. They would blow as a film. The stories of many iconic RPGs play out almost like they're a 4,000-page novel with stupid haircuts. Oh, and you have to do
the same thing 400 times. A lot of these stories are great, with huge moments of emotion. Character deaths mean more because, when you're
doing turn-based battles, you often have multiple party members. If one of them died, it stings that much more. It can be so much more
effective than other mediums to tell the story. But then, you have the other side of RPGs where I can't take this seriously. I am a prince talking to a mechanic. Okay. - I thought I'd adjust my speech here. Scott, the lack of RPGs
you play is horrifying, and I've seen bees. - Oh, he means it. - To show how much we care, I have a surprise witness. - At an intervention? - I present to you Kay
Swiss of Bankruptcy Patrol. - Oh my god, you got a white guy? - This is Scott's bank
account without RPGs. Sure, he's buying them, but he's spending all his time playing and buying other games. If he sat down and played an RPG, he won't have time to
waste money on other games. - Well, at least I'm
stimulating the economy. - If anything, you're doing
immense damage to the economy. You're buying plenty of RPGs, but you have no actual interest in them. Companies think you want RPGs, so they make more, but when more RPGs are announced, you get annoyed, and tell
people not to play them. Without this issue,
people who actually want to play RPGs buy them. Thus, supply and demand return to a renaissance, if you will. We call this issue the Scott-less economy. With you actually playing RPGs, we call it an economy. - You son of a bitch, I love the economy. - [Scott] Now, we have
one of the big ones, number six, these games never (beep) end. My god, why do these take so long? Role-playing games are generally on the
longer side of things. At the least, they can
usually run you 20 hours from start to finish. As somebody who really just wants to experience as many
video games as possible, why would I wanna play one 50-hour game when I could play five 10-hour ones? I know many want games to
be as long as possible. I saw people complain how "Final Fantasy VII
Remake" was only 30 hours. My weekend's 48 hours. What am I gonna do with that extra 18? I don't know, I personally
get a little turned off when I hear how long a game is. I've never been a big I better be able to
squeeze this many hours out of a game kind of guy, but I totally understand
if people are like that. It's just, I don't care
if a game's 10 hours. That sounds like a pretty
sweet length to me. But RPGs are so long because they have so many battles, and so many of those
battles are the same things over and over again. It's just, the amount of
time I spend in these games, I don't feel as justified. And then we have number
seven, sensory overload. What the (beep) am I looking at? Is this really the least complicated they could've made this menu look? I wanna get the "Black
Desert" menu on my back. These games have such
thick-ass menu systems, with sub menus in sub menus, and tutorials on how to use the menus, and honestly, fairly
unnecessary user interfaces that over-complicate
what could be a simple and intuitive experience. - I think I have something to say here. - I do, too. That's it. - I feel like you're
really blocking yourself from experiences that will
truly better your life and outlook on art as a whole. I wrote this when I thought we were still talking about guns. - Okay, and what do you think
about role-playing games? - Oh, just don't be a bitch. (doorbell rings) It is your place. (door squeaks) - Yeah, I got a RPG delivery. - Jeb, why didn't you come earlier? - I worked today. I love the economy. (men cheer) - Oh, yeah.
- Heck yeah. - Woo.
- Oh, yeah. - Woo.
- Woo. - I deliver RPGs to at-risk youth, so they grow up to RPG guys. Here. (eerie orchestral music) - This... This is "Madden." - Yeah? - No, no. No! - Anybody wanna rent the second room here? (door slams) - What, are you all RPGs, too? RPGs can be (beep) anything. I was talking to someone, and they (beep) catfished me. I've been only talking
about turn-based RPGs, but what about action RPGs, strategy RPGs, MMO RPGs? JRPGs, which is just if a role-playing game is
made in Japan, that's it. Action RPGs are like, take out the turns, and just make them just normal fights. Oh, hit this button to attack. Oh, oh, thank god. I gotta say, though, a lot of action RPGs just
feel like hack and slashes or shooters with numbers. MMO RPGs, let's take this and pair it up with Omegle. Look at these players online. These are my type of people. We all know how to use menus. Strategy RPGs, I got nothing. These are all such
different types of games, and so many games outside
of RPGs have RPG elements. You can make an argument that any one of these games are RPGs. "Madden," look at all these steps. How is this not an RPG? People constantly make the argument "Zelda's" an RPG. Sure, keep telling yourself that. It has RPG elements, pretty much any of those things
I mentioned and then some. I give up. I lost. I guess I have to become an RPG guy, because, if I don't, I can't enjoy anything. (lively jazz music) - Leap year this year. - It's December. - Oh, food's here. (meat bangs) - What is this? - They're ribs. - I thought we were getting a corn dog. - These are nature's corn dogs. - I can't eat ribs, I'm
not hungry, and vegan. - Aw, come on, somebody has to. I ordered the economy size. (men cheer) - [Scott] Let's start with a few that started it all, "Dragon Quest" and "Final Fantasy." "Dragon Quest," or "Dragon
Warrior" originally over here in America. Playing this now, it
is so simple and basic, but there's a charm to it, and many of the systems we see in RPGs today, they're here in full force. It's weird to say a game
like this has aged well, because it hasn't, but when
you put it side-by-side to modern RPGs, you start to notice more
similarities than differences. "Dragon Quest" has always
been an RPG staple, primarily in Japan. Over here, it's not as celebrated. Come on, this is America. I like Mickey Mouse and (beep) my wife. But "Dragon Quest" has always been there. I'm surprised how many
people I've run into who immediately recognizes the
slime enemy from the series. The spinoffs are all over the place, like "Dragon Quest Swords" on Wii, which is pretty much a "Dragon Quest" game played in first person, with a ton of automated movement, and motion-controlled combat. You just swipe at the enemies, and overall, it feels
like a "Dragon Quest" game for a (beep) idiot. I love it. But, of course, we have
"Dragon Quest XI S: "Echoes of an Elusive Age
- Definitive Edition." Number eight, ass-long titles. Oh my god, this game is so lovely. Like, it's just so happy. Even when dark moments happen, this is just such a jolly world. These characters' designs are so fun. I'm not a fan of more
typical anime-esque designs, but with "Dragon Quest," I like the style. It just feels so nice. The characters, the monsters, even the gameplay. Sure, the battles are more tedious than if it wasn't a traditional RPG, but it's not that annoying. I like this game, I just don't wanna spend
100 hours liking it. But then we have "Final Fantasy," easily the most iconic RPG series. While "Dragon Quest"
was far more traditional in terms of fantasy world with dragons, beat the evil, "Final Fantasy" continues
to go all over the place. Again, this is a prince. Each "Final Fantasy" is pretty
much completely separate from the last, which is
how we get such game titles as "Final Fantasy XIII-2." The "Final Fantasy" game
I've played the most is "Final Fantasy VII Remake." I like it, but like I said, acton RPGs just don't
feel like RPGs to me. They feel like hack and
slash games with stats. This series hasn't always been turn-based, and that's not even
counting junk like spinoffs. "Final Fantasy XI" and "XIV" are MMO RPGs. Am I the only one to find that bizarre, that mainline numbered titles in the "Final Fantasy" series are MMOs? Like, why not make them their
own designated spinoff series, like "Final Fantasy" Online? But, all right. "XV" and "VII Remake" are
action RPGs, no turns here. This was done to give "Final
Fantasy" more broad appeal, and make it so a "FIFA" fan could play it. So, I gotta be honest, I have a lot more fun
with this gameplay style, but I almost feel patronized playing it, like I'm too dumb to
enjoy the older games, so here's some flashier bull (beep) - Yeah, is this Stale Pretzels? I'd like to place an order. Yeah, the stale pretzels. - Oh, oh, get some ribs. - No, it's Stale Pretzels. All they have are stale pretzels. - No, if you ask, they'll make it for you. - Yeah, I'll do a side of pretzels. - That's kind of a weird way to say ribs. - My god, is this how we sounded to him? - Depends on how he pronounces ribs. - Of course, if you're
more of a classic RPG guy, there are still tons of games releasing that are supposed to be direct callbacks to those older games, "Bravely Default" and "Octopath Traveler." If you're not a fan of
modern "Final Fantasy," these games bring us back to a simpler, far slower time. Yeah, I'm not as into this. When you program a fast forward button into the base game, I feel like you could've
just designed the gameplay to be more efficient. But god, "Octopath," there isn't any other game
that looks quite like this, and the music. "Kingdom Hearts" answers
the age-old question of what would happen when you put "Final Fantasy"
and Disney together. Actually, I don't know if it does or not. And all these games come
courtesy of "Square Enix," your one-stop shop for RPGs. They've also released other iconic titles, like "Chrono Trigger"
and the "Mana" series, which is interesting considering it was one of the few classic RGPs that went for an action approach comparative to turn-based. While I highly disagree on "The Legend of Zelda" being an RPG, at least one entry in the
series is definitely one, "Zelda II: The Adventure of Link." You kill enemies to level yourself up in various departments. I like it. "Zelda II" gets a lot of flak, but it's honestly pretty enjoyable. And Nintendo's RPG series, I mean, we have the "Mother"
series or "EarthBound," which has definitely
helped many get into RPGs. Most games of this nature were fantasy, which has its fans. But "EarthBound," you were
playing as a kid in a town. It made it stand out, and I think it helped many find more of an attachment with the genre. Now, Pokemon, on the other
hand, can (beep) right off. I've tried so many times, but I just can't get into Pokemon. I feel like I've 100% missed the boat on playing the franchise. If I played it as a kid, I feel like I'd find
it easier to enjoy now. If I start the game, I
just feel like it's a slog. I don't feel the sense of wonder, I just feel like I'm walking
from point A to point B, mashing the A button to
get through text boxes, fighting other Pokemon by, again, mashing the A button. At least turn-based works really well here in terms of immersion. You're not the Pokemon, you're
commanding them what to do, which I think works
much better contextually than most other RPGs. I wanna like these games, though, I just can't get into them. Same with the "Xenoblade" series. I'm so happy that this franchise went from not coming outside of Japan to, here's a "Smash Bros." Character, multiple remasters and remakes, a sequel, another sequel, an expansion to the sequel. It's really cool to see that, and I think the original "Xenoblade" is unbelievably impressive. Like, this world is in a Wii game. It's just not personally really my thing. But then, you have "Golden Sun." Definitely gives me "Dragon
Quest" feelings of happiness. I do like a lot about this. But then you have the
beginner RPGs from Nintendo based on the "Mario" franchise. "Super Mario RPG," "Mario & Luigi," "Paper Mario," many of these games actually make turn-based combat fun. They have action commands, which means, hey, pick an attack, then time your action just right by hitting a button at this exact moment. It's almost like a rhythm game. It keeps me involved and entertained. Sure, some of the games are dog (beep) but I think these games help tremendously in conveying the appeal of RPGs to those who don't play a ton of them. No matter how much you
enjoy role-playing games, you have to admit, they aren't the easiest to
jump into most of the time. You gotta ween yourself on a Mario RPG before you jump into "Persona 5." Holy (beep) this game
is so stylish and cool. Listen to the music. The setting is so neat. I think I've become an RPG guy. And I (beep) hate myself. What am I, what have I become? How do I even use one of these? Ah. (Scott grunts) (dramatic orchestral music) - Hello, my name is God. - Oh my god, I meet Jesus and a Target
employee in the same week? - You know, we should do
something nice for him. I'd like to place a "FlingSmash" order. What do I want? (Target employee grunts) Yeah, I'll go with "FlingSmash" this time. (Target employee grunts) (door squeaks) - Whew, Christ, it's
been a busy day for us. Two deliveries? - This economy's about
to be the (beep) best. - So I thought you just delivered RPGs. - Well, RPG can mean a
lot of different things, for example, like when
you're really playing "Gex." Hey, kid, you want a "Gex?" - No, no, no, I have to pay for it. - God, I wanna (beep) the economy. - I just wanted to give
you a formal warning on your recent performance as a human. You're really (beep) it. - I don't wanna (beep) anything. What did I do wrong? - First off, that time
you drank that water and made a face, (beep) you, I make water. Second off, you're
trying to be an RPG guy. - I thought that's what everybody wanted. - See, I crafted humanity to have the instinctive
trait to not like RPGs. - So that's why cavemen never played them. - Then, all of a sudden, evolution was like (beep) you, here's "Ogre Battle 64:
Person of Lordly Caliber," the famous game that everybody loves, and ever since, we've
had a bunch of mutants walking around, playing RPGs. - So it's normal to not like RPGs? - It's normal to not
like all kinds of things, whether it's RPGs or murder. - I never would've known. - Scott, bubby, you know who you are, and what you like and don't like. There's nothing wrong with that. You're not an RPG guy. You know this deep down,
but that doesn't mean you should immediately denounce every RPG that you come across. Even though RPGs were
never meant to be enjoyed, people like them, for some reason. You should respect and understand that as much as they should
respect and understand you, but even if you generally
don't like something, giving it a try from time to time can open your eyes to great experiences you would've never had otherwise. - Can I add you on LinkedIn? (uplifting orchestral music) I think I get it. I'm not an RPG guy, and sharks are just sexy fish, at the end of the day. RPGs aren't my go-to
genre, and that's okay, just like how everybody
doesn't like platformers, or sports games, or first-person
shooters, or party games. My criticisms of RPGs were just opinions. They're the same reasons
why people love RPGs, and that's okay. But that doesn't mean
I can never like RPGs. I really like "Dragon Quest," and some "Final Fantasy" games I like, and I'm just really happy
that "Xenoblade's" doing well, and "Persona 5" is really... No, I'm going too far. (beep) this, (beep) this,
(beep) this, (beep) this, (beep) this, (beep) this, (beep) this, (beep) this, (beep) this, (beep) this, (beep) this, (beep) this, (beep) this, (beep) this, (beep) this, (beep) this, (beep) this, (beep) this, (beep) this, (beep) this. Hey, y'all, Scott here. I'm not an RPG guy, and I'm proud of who I am. No RPG is ever gonna make
me anything otherwise. Damn it.
Where's the dunkey clip/voice part? I'm not really up to watch a 35 minute skit atm.