The Top 5 Running Jokes in The Office - The Office US

no I'm team captain can I be team manager no I am the team manager you can be assistant to the team manager assistant team manager is that your mom no that was my Sensei I am now Senpai which is assistant sensei assistant to the Sensei that's pretty cool assistant sensei okay now I know there's some rumors out there and I just kind of want to set the record I'm assistant regional manager I should know first assistant to the regional manager yeah okay we're gonna have to have a couple people come in on the weekends and I know nobody's going to want to do it and everybody's going to blame and and I don't want to have to deal with it and that's where you have an assistant regional manager yes it is assistant to the retail manager same thing introduce yourself be polite uh Dwight Schrute assistant regional manager assistant to the regional manager I'll tell you what I could accept is assistant to the regional manager at his real job and one I'd be proud to take Shake on it done way to negotiate idiot and I'm happy to say that you passed so effective immediately I am promoting you from assistant to the regional manager to assistant regional manager I wouldn't be offering it if I didn't think you could handle it I can handle it I can okay so I guess this will just be my office no Toby is in HR which technically means he works for corporate so he's really not a part of our family also he's divorced so he's really not a part of his family the full story is that Randall resigned because of sexual harassment so corporate asked me to do a five-minute review of the company sexual harassment no no this here is a radon test kit okay I'll be putting them everywhere and please don't throw these out this is a radon test kit please don't throw these out see them all over the office Toby has been leaving radon kits everywhere like he owns the place the first time I threw mine away I thought it was an ant trap but I figured I'd rather live with Anson with his creepy little disc the second time I thought it was one of those you know the things you turn over and moves like a cow thing but upon closer examination it was another ant trap so I threw it away and the third time I did it out of spite come on Michael you're you're interrupting you're kidding me God you say right on Asylum but deadly and then you expect me not to make farting noises with my mouth what is this you know what we're not gonna die of radon we're going to die boredom yeah right and if I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler Bin Laden and Toby I would shoot Toby twice okay all right really funny and then you went too far I would kill Bin Laden and then Toby no it's still this is a gift for your many years of service here wow thanks Michael can I just say that of all the idiots in all the idiot villages in all the idiot worlds you stand alone [Music] hope you die and another fun thing we at the end of the night are going to give the check to an actual group of Boy Scouts Right Toby we're gonna actually I didn't think it was appropriate to invite children since it's uh you know there's gambling and alcohol and it's in our dangerous warehouse and it's a school night and you know Hooters is catering you know is that enough is that enough should I go on why are you the way that you are honestly every time I try to do something fun or exciting you make it not that way I hate so much about the things that you choose to be um I'm just gonna hand it to him right now okay weirdo why is that why is that weird she said she's going to give it to him right now I just felt like going to you because they sit next to each other yeah they used to Toby works here again oh can you imagine oh no oh I don't know what you should probably just Meander back there take a look see if he's see if he's back dare I you know what I'm going to For Old Times Sake great practical joke Jim got me go to the annex I'm like no God no God please no no no no no who Do You Think You Are Toby yeah correct um what gives what what gives you the right [Music] [Applause] [Music] what would you improve about Dunder Mifflin well let me see I went down I guess everything's okay Toby why don't you open your present no no no no no no no no no no this hey hey hey this might not be what I think that I don't even know is in there because there are a lot of presents in my car and I don't know which is which suck on this that's not even my handwriting hey what the hell is going on here who thought it would be hysterical to give Toby a rock for his going away gift you didn't no you made me wrap it no I thought it was over the line I just I just Dive Right In you know around age 12 I just started going for it what what happened what do you need no not you someone else get Pam I think Pam's going to want to come into the men's room you're right oh he needs to lift me and they used to clean me up a little bit bring a wet towel Jim's been looking at me kind of a lot all week I would be creeped out by it but it's nothing compared to the way Michael looks at me in prison you are somebody's you're always having sex with somebody whether it's the gang member or the guards and then you run to the warden for protection and you become a snitch and then the other end makes killia does that sound like fun oh and you you my friend would be the bell of the ball don't drop the soap don't drop the soap Michael please is this your car Ryan wow some pretty big books back there hello Mr Egghead Pam it's great to see you it's Michael hey yeah there he is there he is he's back and he's with a beard he has facial hair look at him all growing up and no place to go hello Mr Sonny Crockett I'm tubs okay should we get started oh yeah let's get started because uh yes because it was a very serious business yeah and um exactly this is a business meeting you weren't here for that here for what when he started how big he is look at you you are so mature and old and little man now you're like our little little old man boy Michael everybody um bearded man boy take a good look at this boy I always do come on people you know the rules of the game what game are we playing here okay it's called who'd you do oh I'm falling asleep what uh where are we where are we here Roy Roy what would you do Roy uh oh I got it uh what's the name of that uh Titans Christian uh chick the uh the blonde my name is Angela hey Angela Roy nice to meet you Jim you're next what would you do [Music] Kevin and hands down yeah he's really got that teddy bear thing going on and afterwards we could just watch bowling well I would definitely have some Ryan because he's gonna own his own business you can consider this my retirement from Comedy does that include that's what she said wow that is really hard you really think you can go all day long well you always left me satisfied and smiling so that's what she said why did you get it so big a that's what she said on B I wanted it to be impressive and you were directly under her the entire time that's what she said excuse me that's what she said Ms Levinson told you that she was your direct Superior a lot why would she say that can we just move on to another question no wait I don't understand who's on record is saying this with all due respect I'm in the middle of a line of questioning now Mr Scott what did you say Miss Levinson said regarding your employment status with respect to her corporate position come again that's what she said I don't know what you're talking do I see somebody in the back 400 450 sold for 300 to me what the hell's that it's the only gavel I could find it squeaks when you're banging that's what she said we could reduce stress with better planning and uh slightly smaller Department we could squeeze stress balls she said see the movie but uh I think we're gonna keep it small yeah yeah keeping it small that's what she said and the best way to start is to hit start and up comes the toolbar that's what she said that's what she said I don't get it I'm glad if today's spurred social change that's part of my job as regional manager but you know what even if it didn't at least we put this matter to bed that's what she said or he said my mother's coming that's what she said no but okay hey can you make that straighter if that's what she said did you plan that no can you make that straighter that job looks hard you should put your mouth on that can you go back to where this digression began Mr Schneider and you were directly under her the entire time Mr Scott that's what she said delivery is all wrong butchering it I can't believe you came that's what you said damn it him okay hold on hold on judges in session what is the problem here put my stuff in jello again question what kind of bear is best that's a ridiculous question false black bear well that's debatable there are basically two schools of thought fact bears eat beets oh bears beats Battlestar Galactica bears do not what is going on what are you doing you know what imitation is the most sincere form of flattery so I thank you identity theft is not a joke Jim millions of families suffer every year Michael oh that's funny Michael good morning Dwight who are you who am I I'm Jim we've been working together for 12 years we're Jeb Dwight you're not Jim Jim's not Asian you seriously never noticed hey hats off to you for not seeing race all right then Jim uh why don't you tell me about that sale that you made yesterday uh Wellington systems sought them 10 cases of 24 pound letter stock or were you talking about Creek or Murphy because I didn't close that one yet but I'm hoping I've got a voicemail from Paul Krieger waiting for me complete enter your password one new message no no no no no that is sensitive information only for employees not Outsiders I'm trying to work you don't work here you're not Jim Jim I got it at dinner Ovation Greek goes 7 30. oh great can't wait Jim's at the dentist this morning and Steve is an actor friend of ours I don't know who you are not Jim this is Jim oh dude uh how did can you tell us again who's not of course what about Oscar absolutely not well he is well he's not dressed in women's clothes so there could be others I need to know Jim told me you could buy gaydar online that's ridiculous yeah probably you didn't tell the truth a lot let's call him get the website it works I got 500 feet of red wire at a flea market up by Dunmore High School 20 bucks for the whole spool crazy what a deal oh he'll be fine I made it up there this is slander Miss Black slander I say I dare you to produce one credible Source about this what the heck is going on the stock price this is plummeting are you gonna take control of the message or do I have to send in someone who understands the name out of here more on page excuse me Mr Droid who are you talking to uh what is this happy holidays Dwayne but do not open it until Christmas you're so pathetic how long did this take you three hours five minutes actually I am a black belt and gift wrapping yeah no such thing they don't give out black belts for things that are stupid well I hope it was worth it because I'm gonna take it apart in about five minutes I think I'll take a little bit longer than that really if I can skin a mule deer in less than 10 minutes I ought to be able to cut mine a few months I've been sending Dwight letters from the CIA they're considering for a top secret mission there's his application oh and this is where I made him list every secret he promised he'd never ever tell last year my boss Michael Scott took a day off because he said he had pneumonia but really he was leaving early to go to magic camp wow so here's the gift you get to decide what his top secret mission is sorry I didn't wrap it oh you know what sorry I forgot to tell you I intercepted the transmission earlier and it seems that the CIA is going to need Dwight down in their headquarters at Langley for training and an ice cream social with the other agents we should get him a bus ticket to make his trip easier I don't know it costs 75 dollars well maybe the CIA could send a helicopter you have been compromised abort Mission destroy phone [Music]

Channel: The Office

Views: 705,394

Keywords: the office, the office running jokes, the office jim looks at camera, the office running gags, the office thats what she said, the office thats what she said jim, the office full episodes, rainn wilson, john krasinski, steve carell, michael scott, the office fire drill, jim and dwight pranks, dwight schrute, jim halpert, jenna fischer, the office funniest moments, the office bloopers season 1, the office cpr, the office parkour, best The Office Moments

Id: _5IareL3rac

Length: 18min 18sec (1098 seconds)

Published: Thu Jun 22 2023