The Ones With Chandler's Job | Friends

all right that's four for the guys ladies you're up come on 30 seconds on the clock five correct questions wins the game the lightning round begins now what is Joey's favorite food sandwiches correct Chandler was how old when he first touched a girl's breast 14 No 19 thanks man Joey had an imaginary childhood friend his name was Maurice correct his profession was oh Space Cowboy correct what is Chandler Bing's job oh gosh this has something to do with numbers and processing he carries a briefcase seconds you need this or you lose the game it's um has something to do with transponding oh oh oh he's a trans transponster that's not even a word I can give I can get [Applause] this can you see my nipples through this shirt no but don't worry I'm sure they're still there where are you going Mr Su man well I have an appointment to see Dr Robert pilman career counselor aogo I added the Agogo career counselor hey you guys all know what you want to do I don't hey you guys in the living room all know what you want to do you know you have goals you have dreams I don't have a dream uh the Lesser known I don't have a dream speech oh I love my life I love my life a Bryant song I'm meeting with that guy went great so great you showed me where the restaurant's going to be it's it's it's this cute little place on 10th Street it's not too big it's not too small it's just right was it formerly owned by a blonde woman and some bears [Music] [Music] guys Chandler's coming and he says he has like this incredible news so when he gets here let's all act like you know hey hey okay never mind but it was going to be really good what's going on what is that so it's a typical day at work I'm in putting my numbers and Big Al calls me into his office and tells me he wants to make me processing supervisor that is congratulations so I quit why why why this was supposed to be a temp job yeah Chandler you've been there for 5 years if I took this promotion it would be like admitting that this is what I actually do so was it a lot more money it doesn't matter I just don't want to be one of those guys that's in his office until 12:00 at night worrying about the wenus the the weenus weekly estimated net usage systems it's a processing term oh that wus I have something you can do I have this new massage client Steve anyway um he's opening up a restaurant and he's looking for a head chef um hi there hi oh yeah no I know you're a chef I know and I thought of you first but um Chandler's the one who needs a job right now so yeah I just don't have a lot of chefing experience unless it's an all Toast restaurant yeah yeah well what kind of food is he looking for well he wants to do something eclectic so he's looking for someone who can you know create the entire menu oh my God yeah I know so what do you think thanks fee I just don't really see myself in a big white hat okay oh Monica guess what hello and again hey Mr cik how's life on the 15th floor yeah I miss you too yeah it's a lot less satisfying to steal pens from your own home you know well that's very generous uh but look this isn't about the money you know it's just I need something that's more than a job I need something I really care about and that's on top of the year in bonus structure you mentioned earlier look ow ow I'm not playing hard here okay this is not a negotiation this is this is a rejection no no no stop saying stop saying numbers I'm telling you you've got the wrong guy you've got the wrong guy I'll see you Monday man huh wow it's huge so much bigger than the cubicle oh this is a cube look at this you have a window yes indeedy with a beautiful view of oh look that guy's peeing okay that's enough for the view all right check this out look at this okay sit down here sit okay okay this is great this is great yeah Helen could you come in here for a moment thank you Helen that'll be all last time I do that I promise well we going to be laying off people in every Department Hey listen I know I came in late last week but I slept funny and my hair was very very SC Not you relax ever have to fire anyone Nina Nina Nina Nina are you okay yes yes I am uh listen the reason that I called you in here today was uh please don't hate me what would you like to have dinner sometime [Music] and that's the Chrysler Building right there oh Nina Mr Douglas cool tie she's still here yes yes she is didn't I memo you on this see after I let her go uh I got a call from her psychiatrist Dr fan and and Dr Flynn and Dr Flynn and uh he informed me that uh she took the news rather badly in fact he he mentioned the word frenzy you're kidding she seems so oh no no nah she is in fact if you asked her right now she would have no recollection of being fired at all not at all that's unbelievable and yet believable so I decided not to fire her again until I can be assured that she will be no threat to herself or others I see H I guess you never really know what's going on inside a person's head well I guess that's why they call it psychology sir hey look Joey I'm just saying if you need something to hold you over I can get you a job right here as an entry-level processor but don't you need experience for a job like that it's not that hard to learn and ask for people realizing that you have no idea what you're doing hey you're an actor act like a processor people will think you're a processor hey Chandler here's this morning's projection hey thanks Scott Alexander Joey triani Joey is a uh fellow processor no kidding oh yeah yeah I process people want the processing I'm the one they call where do you work uh well right now I'm in between things you know how it is one day you're processing the next day you're not so much processing more I was just telling Joey about the opening in fleshman's group fleshman's group whatever you do don't touch his sandwiches are all you processors dors I'm sorry I realized this is the role of a lifetime for you and if I could just fire Joseph I would but unfortunately that's not possible so I'm going to have to let both of you go what are you talking about everybody loves Joseph I don't I hate Joseph okay I think he's a brown noosing suck up oh yeah well you can't fire Joseph you know why cuz he's not in your department all right okay all right I so I can't fire Joseph but uh I can sleep with his wife camon yeah Karen I'm thinking about having an affair with her oh you know what I I just did what the hell are you doing to me man oh it's not me it's my character Chandy and the road processor who seduces his co-workers wives for sport and then laughs about it the next day at the water cooler in fact I have her panties right there in my drawer really no freak Show she's fictional have a good night did that guy just call you Toby yeah he thinks that's my name well why don't you correct him oh it's been going on way too long now I mean the first time he said it we were just passing each other in the hallway so I didn't say anything and then the next time he said hey Toby you want a donut and I I wanted the donut and now it's 5 years later the Donut's gone and I'm still Toby phoi fatty hey Chandler why so fancy well I got a job interview it's kind of a big deal too it's a lot more money and I'd be doing data reconfiguration and statistical factoring wait I think I know someone who does that me I do that so seriously do I do I look okay I'm a little nervous oh yeah you really you look great you know just don't get your hopes up why not well the interview what about it you know you don't make a very good first impression what oh you don't know are you are you serious yes and when I first met you you were like blah I was like what is it that I do well it's just like you're trying too hard always making jokes you know you just you come off a little needy as we're seeing in Chicago New York and London are consistently solid but many of our field offices have reported disappointing yields [Laughter] Boston is down Atlanta is down Houston is down I could go on and on but instead of boring you I'll go straight to my 42 point [Laughter] plan Walter okay if everyone's on board it's settled Chandler [Laughter] J yeah are you on board yes then problem solved Chandler will be running our office and to Sir you're going to love Oklahoma try feeding her again I already fed her I know that's why I said again all right you guys we can't turn on each other okay that's just what she wants hey Monica can I talk to you outside for a minute oh no you guys just stay here I'm going to go check her diaper phes do you want to come oh I'm kind of part of this actually fees it's more of a husband and wife kind of thing knew I should have married Chandler okay what's up okay um you know how we always said it would be fun to moved to Paris for a year you know you could study French cooking and I could write and we could picnic along the sand and go wine tasting in Bordeaux oh yes okay you know how people say that Tulsa is the Paris of Oklahoma what who says that people who have never been to Paris what's going on we're moving to Tulsa [Laughter] excuse me okay Miss McKenna she kind of uh Works above my boss she asked me to move to Tulsa and be the president of our office there and I was sleeping and apparently said yes Tulsa Oklahoma The Sooner State whatever that is you I don't even want to see the musical Oklahoma really Oh What a Beautiful Morning s with a fringe on top are you trying to tell me that we're moving to Oklahoma or that you're gay right not that this matters but did they at least offer you a huge raise no no but they are going to lease us aord Focus I'll get out of it thank you what is wrong with Emma oh she misunderstood she thought she was moving to Tulsa ma'am uh do you have a minute I kind of have some bad news I don't think I can move to Tulsa what uh it's a funny story actually uh I kind of fell asleep in the meeting this morning so when I said I'd move to Tulsa I didn't really know what I was saying you fell asleep but only because I was up all night worried about this meeting ain't that funny irony not a fan all right see here's the thing I went home and told my wife about Tulsa and and she won't go see me I love Tulsa Tulsa is heaven Tulsa is Italy please don't make me go there Chandler I no no no look Carol can I call you Carol why would I when your name is Elaine oh what a great picture of your son strapping that's a picture of your daughter isn't it well she's lovely I I like a girl with a strong jaw I'll call you from Tulsa oh bye bye honey what's the matter Joe I'm mad at you for leaving you know nothing but a big lever big lever with the stupid suitcase any chance you're trying to pick a fight to make all of this easier oh dude you see right through [Laughter] me hey well bye Man by Ross Rachel bye Emma okay bye bye true that the reason you're hearing Tulsa is that you fell asleep in a meeting and took the job without realizing what you were saying yes to well don't believe everything you hear Ken but yeah that's true all right let's get started by uh taking a look at last quarter's figures uh Claudia aren't you supposed to blow smoke up the boss's ass I'm sorry does the smoke bother you no no no no I smoked for years then I quit right now I can't remember why you're not allowed to smoke in this office though right yes in Oklahoma it's legal to smoke in offices with 15 people or less would you like one all right look look I don't smoke anymore but if the rest of you want to light up go ahead this fine so you all smoke then it's almost rude that I'm not smoking well that's not true if you don't want to smoke can please no I can't I can't smoke if I smoked my wife would kill me I'm sorry but isn't your wife back in New York I've always liked you Ken go okay what have we always wanted to do together braid each other's hair and ride horse back on the beach oh no no when you get home tomorrow night you and I are going to be at the Wizards Nicks game Courtside Courtside oh my God yeah maybe Michael Jordan Will dive for the ball and break my jaw with his knee that is so cool I'll let Monica know hello Joey just called he's got Courtside Nicks tickets for him and me tomorrow night really but tomorrow night's the only night I get off from the restaurant if you go to the game then we won't have a night together for another week but he's Courtside the cheerleaders are going to be right in that's not the way to convince you tayor look I don't want to be one of those wives that says you can't go to the game you have to spend time with me so if you could just realize it on your own I I know you're right I want to see you too I just got to figure out a way to tell Joey you know he's really looking forward to this tell him that you haven't seen your wife in a long time tell him that having a long-distance relationship is really difficult tell him that what little time we have together is is precious yeah I'll think of something he sprain to his sleigh to his team gave a whistle and away they all flew like the down of a thistle but I heard him exclaim a he drove out of sight Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night wow that was great MH you really wrote that uh-huh say goodbye I'm off to Tulsa oh I can't believe you're not going to be here for Christmas you're really not coming back yeah we have all this paperwork that needs to be filed by the end of the year if I don't get it done I'll be fired it's so unfair you don't even like your job so who does oh I like my job I can't wait to go back to work I Can't Get Enough dinosaurs I'm sorry I won't be here just it's hard enough not seeing during the week but for Christmas what if this is what you have to do I understand thanks I'll see a New Year's Day you're not going to be here New Year's Eve did I not mention that no and to all a good night Chandler Bing hi honey we're all here we just want to wish you a Merry Christmas Merry Christmas Christmas a merry Christmas I miss you guys so is it horrible is everybody working really hard uh well no it's just uh me and Wendy Wendy that sounds like a girl's name it is did I not tell you about her mhm about the time you told me about New Year's Eve where's everybody else I sent them home oh you are such a good boss is she pretty uh uh answer faster answer faster I don't know answer better answer better I don't think of her that way you know Ian she's a uh she's a colleague what does she do there oh she's regional vice president she's just below me she did what below me oh wait is Wendy the runner up Miss Oklahoma what well she she didn't win all right well maybe I should let you and the second prettiest girl in Oklahoma get back to work well second prettiest that year I mean of all the girls in Oklahoma she's probably oh Chandler stop talking honey there's really nothing to worry about okay I'm serious okay Merry Christmas Merry Christmas Merry Christmas you guys Merry the wife says hi ah fun conversation oh well she's just got this weird idea that uh you know just because you and I are alone that something's going to happen what really H that be so terrible this is probably the wrong thing to be worrying about but you're getting Ham on my only tie hey oh my joh hey hey look at that it's a Christmas miracle what are you doing here I wanted to be with you I missed you so much hey hey uh who'd you miss the most Monica gotcha I never want to leave you again but I thought if you left you'd get fired turns out they can't fire me because I quit what what you you really quit your job yeah it was a stupid job and I could not stand leaving you and why should I be the only one who doesn't get to do what he really wants to do what do you really want to do I have not thought this through oh my God I know I I should have talked to you first about it no I think that this is what you want to do I think it's great thanks Chandler your being here is the best Christmas present I could have ever imagined a Now give me my real [Music] gift good morning everybody can I get you a cup of coffee sir oh no no no I'm an intern just like you guys except for the tie the briefcase and the fact that I can rent a car seriously you're an intern yeah well I'm kind of heading in a new career direction and you know you got to start at the B dude all right look I know I'm a little bit older than you guys but it's not like I'm Bob Hope the comedian Uso uh it's USA sir I'm old what's wrong I am so much older than these other interns I can't I can't compete with them when I saw you're a little older try to look at the positive you have all this life experience yes but I don't think life experience is going to help me with these wow it's like they're on fire what are they they're these prototype sneakers and I have to come up with ideas on how to sell them which I can't do because no self-respecting adult would ever wear these I'll give you $500 for them what am I supposed to do with these come on sneakers are easy you wear sneakers all the time well first of all they're not called sneakers anymore apparently they're called Kicks or skids and I think I heard somebody say slurps here look I got these wheels that pop out from the bottom so you can roll around because apparently walking is too much exercise kids kids roll your way to childhood obesity would you help me try to sell these okay have you considered using a girl with huge knockers I don't think that's the kind of thing they're looking for hey that work on me why do you think I buy Mrs butterworths you know what these aren't half bad you should suggest something like these to Ralph Lauren okay first of all that's stupid and second of all I'm not allowed to talk to rph all right I feel younger already yeah I think I broke my hip hey St Chandler hi I'm sure you've heard we filled the three positions we just felt that with your maturity and experience you wouldn't be happy being someone's assistant well no no no no no no no I'd love to be somebody's assistant answering phones getting coffee I live for that stuff and I'm not too mature farts boobies butt cracks Chandler you were the strongest person in the program we're offering you the position of Junior copywriter me the guy who just said Buck cracks yes that's right we're excited about the level of sophistication you'll be bringing to the job okay well thanks you won't regret it I'll see you tomorrow [Laughter] what oh yeah I'm going to be a junior [Music] copywriter oh swe I'm so proud of you does that mean I get the good loving tonight you bet no TV or anything hey that is so great about the job thanks smth and I'd like to think I had a little something to do with it really why well before with the wishbone I uh I didn't wish we would win the lottery I wished you'd get the job oh yeah listen don't tell Monica she'll rip your heart right out [Music]

Channel: Friends

Views: 252,522

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Id: YIpA9j1TVYo

Length: 28min 48sec (1728 seconds)

Published: Sat Jul 06 2024