Wade: All right, I guess we're ready to uh... start this match. Mark: Yeah, I'm ready. Bob: Everyone still has amazing avatars as always. Mark: Thank you. I tried real hard. Bob: Is everyone ready to love everyone? Forever? Mark: Oh no, my uh... my controller is still on and it's just vibrating. Bob: Oh no. Wade: Mine is too. Mark: I'm just gonna put this in my lap and for no reason. Mark: Ooo, tingly. Mark: Where'd my mouse go? Oh no my mouse! Oh no I switched to the game. Mark: It- Uh, Uh, Uh! Mark: No! That's not what I pressed! Mark: AAaaagh Wade: (mocking laughter) Mark: How do I turn off my goddamn controller? Oh there it goes. Okay. Well there goes the tingly vibrations. Mark: When did I get this many cards?! Bob: You just drew, like, 6 cards. Mark: No, I had a wild card! I had one! Bob: Well you didn't play it, so you had to draw. Mark: Well, where's my mouse?! Mark: There! Bob: You ok, bud? Mark: Oh no, I'm fine. I'm fine.
Wade, in the background: Oh, fuck you, Cutie. Bob: You only have 12 cards, it's fine. Mark: Yeah, you know, but last time I looked up, I didn't have 12 cards. And now, I don't. Wade: Nooo!
Bob: Ohhh... Bob: Why are you trying to make the bot win? Mark: I'm not trying to make the bot win. We're never trying to make the bot win. Bob: Why are you trying to make the bot win? Mark: No one's trying to make the bot win. Bob: Why are you trying to make the Bot win? Mark: No one is trying to make the Bot win. Bob: Oh, fuck all these guys. Bob: Mark's trying to make the bot win. Mark: I'm not making the bot win! Bob: Mark, stop trying to make the bot win! Mark: I let - Listen, I like the bot. The bot - What is that...? Bob: I don't remember what that does. Wade: If you draw anything but numbers, you draw a card. Mark: Oh. Bob: Oh ball sacks. Bob: Fuuuuck… Well, that's not a number. Oh Wade: OoOOoh Mark: Oh but nice though. Nice! Bob: Ok then. Neat! Ohh yeah! Aww... Bob: Fuck.
Mark: Okay. Mark: Where's... Do I have to declare - Oh wait I can't play anything! *Everyone laughs* Wade: I declare!
Mark: I thought I had to declare UNO ya know uh ya know how it is. Bob: Ha ha! *Mark sighs because he knows he fucked up* *Bob giggles* Bob: No you're not! *Bob laughs* Wade: I have to declare. Mark: Ah, shit... Mark: I have to declare...
Bob: UNO! Mark: Bam!
Bob: Oh, come on!
Wade: Oh fuck you, stop! Mark: I did- look! Mark: You think I'm choosing this? It's drawing it random. The whole game is random. Everything about this is random! Mark: There's no strategy. *Bob laughs more* Bob: I think it's currently physically impossible for me - For me to win right now. Mark: Yeah?
Bob: Cause I can't, I can't play it any... Wade: Why green?
Mark: Why not green? Green's fine. Bob: Yeah what's wrong with green? Green seems good.
Wade: Fucking green, fucking gre - Oh. Bob: Why blue?! *Mark chuckling*
Wade: Cause blue is good! Blue is the Christmas season! Wade: Cause blue is good! Blue is the Christmas season! Mark: No it's not! Bob: Take me away, why blue?!
Mark: Literally Christmas is red and green! Wade: No, ice and snow are blue and shit.
Mark: No, they're not; they're white! Wade: It's, it's... What?!
Mark: It is!
Wade: Have you ever seen white snow? No, it's blue. Bob: Have you ever seen blue snow? Wade: Yeah! Bob: Cause you probably ate it and that's why you're so DUMB! *Mark laughs* Wade: You don't know. I might be. *Mark laughs more* Mark: I literally drew that one Wade! Wade: I know I but I just said fuck it at this point. *Bob laughing* Bob: Okay well, I have an opinion about this and it's this one.
Mark: Alright.
Wade: Oh why not me? Mark: All right, okay... Bob: Cause I don't want your cards. Your cards suck. Mark: I want... Alright, I'm just - I'm playing the odds here.
Bob: My hand sucks. Bob: Don't do it. No. Okay.
Mark: I'm playing odds here cause someone else has got a card and everything's gonna go rotatey. Mark. Or not.
Bob: Oh fuck, Mark. *Wade screams no loudly* Bob: Oh Jesus so good god, Mark.
Mark: Yes?
Bob: Mark at heart of the cards. Mark and Bob: Heart of the cards? Heart of the cards... Mark: Heart of the- heart of the ca- heart of the ca- Heart of the- heart of the cards! *Wade screams 'no' loudly* *mark laughs* Bob: Heart of the cards *Mark laughs more* Bob: I guess I'd rather do this than the other thing I have to do but - Mark: What is that? I don't like the dancing thing. Bob: We are about to have a real present-o-reno Mark: Oh.
Bob: Okay, well Wade has a blue draw two so -
Wade: Make it blue!
Bob: For god sakes don't make it blue.
Wade: Make it blue and it stay true to you. Wade: Fuck you.
Mark: I couldn't. I literally couldn't make it blues. Wade: Fuck. You. Mark. *Bob and Mark start laughing* Wade: You. Ass. Bob: Heart of the cards, heart of the cards.
Wade: Hole! *Mark giggles* Mark: Ha haa! Bob: Heart of the cards. Wade: That's right Cutie, fuck you. Mark: Cutie has done nothing this whole game.
Wade: Cutie's as bad as fucking whatever her name Barbara?
Mark: Barbara, what's wrong with Barbara? Bob: What? Holy shit.
Wade: Fucking Barbara!
Mark: What did Barbara do to you?!
Bob: What's wrong with Barbara? Bob: Man what a dick.
Wade: We all know.
Mark: Barbara did nothing that whole time you were painting Barbara Isabella Barbara didn't do shit Wade: Barbara painted herself as a villain Mark: Barbara didn't paint! Barbara can't even paint! Wade: Oh cause Barbara had no talent! Mark: Alright well, you're probably right there. Bob: That got kinda personal I felt that felt charged. Wade: I've been building up for a while.
Mark: What did Barbara do to you? Oh, fuck you turn it up Wade: Oh fuck you turning tupsy toppas I wanted to go! Mark: Alright. Bob: Ya know, you lost your words for a moment there Wade I ah - Wade: No I didn't. I said what I said and meant what I meant. Mark: Turny tupsy toppas. Mark: Yeah you said what you meant. Bob: Yeah what does Mark have? Does anyone know what does Mark have? Mark: Who know, I don't even know what Mark has. Bob: Well, its red now now ha ha. Oh no. Mark: Alright well, there it goes. Alright. Bob: That's not what you wanted. Wade: No, no, no, no, no, no. No fuckin'! Mark: See? Cutie doesn't even call Uno. Mark: Oh..oh Bob: No!! Mark: Oh!!!!! Wade: Aeeeeeeeee!! Mark: what a stupid Bob: you have to switch hands Mark: Alright Cutie you're an idiot Mark: Cutie is the evil idiot Wade: Cutie just didn't want to be as bad as Barbara. So cutie is on my better side than fucking Barbara Mark: listen, I think we just need to Mark:Be nicer to the bots not to each other be assholes to each other. Bob: I don't know why everyone so mean to the bots Bob: They're just playing a win we gotta be an asshole about it. Mark: Mm-hmm. Bob: Feel do you feel me do you feel it? Mark: I'm feeling you. I've been feeling you I literally can't stop feeling you. Bob: Oh..whoa. Whoa that dosen't feel like- Wade: Oh keep touching him. Mark: Oh I'm feeling, oh I'm feeling you. Wade: (screaming) Mark: Challenge! Bob: I-I'm confused why you made that sound but I guess we'll find out. Oh okay. Mark: I... don't like this! So I'm going to challenge And I'm gonna play the heart of the- YEAH Wade: Oh you won! Now you only take the four from Cutie Mark: Well, that's fine because it's not an eight from God for no matter what but I gave you four now for You just don't even know who you are anymore Think about it. I don't want to go like this hand man. I can't wait till I get no don't I shouldn't be oh Boy, oh geez swallow Hey Mark, how how much heart of the cards do you have? Not very much Why why would we want to punish you why to win it's been a long day I Deserve another win. It's been a long day. You deserve nothing You deserve nothing fine. You know what here Bob. You're right and I feel bad. So here you can have it This is actually a good hand - you're welcome. I know I just want to be nice friends Maybe then you wouldn't yell at me anymore part of the kind of the cards Warning There wasn't a lot I was gonna be able to change about that This feels it feels targeted I don't know it just feels wrong You really literally handed that win to me I feel like I'm just a bystander that hole game That was so weird, we just played a bunch of number cards and then ended really quickly I just wanted Bob to be happy Well, I do want Bob to be happy When I said it out loud Seven mice did and I do mean Dennis right? You said it I you're too happy I want listen, my heart of my cards is not here. So fuck you, but I don't want I don't want you to be happy to be happy It's not that I deserve Oh God. Oh Shit what is that one deal numbers only or else you draw? Numbers only bitches Mark you deserve happiness to market. Okay I Just want to say I just want to say I'm glad someone else has had that experience because what you're experiencing right now mark Was like me the entire time we played uno last time that was my whole fucking life Oh, wow, what the fuck? No mark, don't do it don't do me like that. I don't remember what. Wait be cool you have a really good chance Okay, okay I clicked you, you fucker. I was clicking on... all right, whatever. It still happened, right? Good ah before I do anything I want to just go ahead and do this a little bit. Fuck that guy Yeah Right more yeah part of the cards Neat Neatareno here mark I guess I'll give you can have some fun because I just got heart of the cards Like that would too much okay I guess I'm playing that Cutie, Cutie, Cutie, Cutie, Cutie, Cutie... Fuck! Oh Cutie, Cutie, Cutie, Cutie, Cutie, Cutie, Cutie... Are you saying "kitty" or "cutie"? Both! (jabbering) No! It's the same color! It was already blue Wait, you can't challenge it. Challenge it, Wade! We don't give a shit about the rules. I just want to play the game with my friends. Where's your fun hallway sound effects (Echoes) I'm so lonely, so lonely. Nobody by my side. Alright, heart of the cards here. It has yellow it has yellow. Oh then take this it yes Not so cute anymore. Are you ya? (Sarcasm) Heart of the cards is going on. Oh, yea The heart of cards is right in there Feeling good now my sides hurt so bad from laughing it mark That doesn't make me feel better Card side of the card side of the cards. Okay. Alright. This is about to be so bullshit with the bots having life for Mark:(mumbles) Heart of my cards Me I guess. Okay, cool. That's a good one There some keepers I'd be the short step I have a gift for you Oh Scared Wait, there's no way you don't have blue We all get a random oh I just wanted to help I just want to help. Yes Wow, you broke your audio setup, you just yelled so loud. Oh What a play by the bot indeed I Just want you to be happy mark and I'm glad for you Yeah, my scream that Molly's in the house What is this halo jump, oh fuck now my hand was off the mouse it's fine. I have 1/8 of yellow Giving us your strategy. Do you guys know about my a of yellow I do? Oh, you know about I'll have a blue one play that game Mine is a fucking bomb not cool That's a bad color why would you do that? It's an above average color Things that are blue your mood your balls blue is great. This is some kind of problem I don't know what weight has but it's oh hey, buddy Relax everybody calm down. You know what? You know on it. You don't want it Bob. I want it more than I want. Not it you don't and you know what? I'm so no. I don't know you don't make sound say no. I'm not knowing god, dammit Purpose baby, baby. All right. Thank you my card FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUK :):3 No one compared my plight and what I've been through to me Don't compare myself to me fuck wait, wait boy challenge, it's a liar Oh boy, it's coming it's really happening Shit what is happening over in Wigs alright, I don't want to do this necessarily, but I don't want way to be happy so Okay, it's my turn. Well, I guess there's a good time is they see what happens? Okay, that's not very powerful. Oh But I have it never mind fuck. I can't fall out or anything today. Okay, you gonna turn It was a double bluff right a double bluff nice play rough That's rough bro. Bad play. Hi you got Here's my play Play boom Person to do stuff to but I want to do stuff with someone bad play Play bad play All right. Does anyone know what color the fucking thing has? No, no, not a clue. It was your hand wait Yeah, no clue. Oh, fuck you suck. All right one in four chance. I can save it No, but I stopped them from maybe winning We have to stop it Wow this color it's Undeniable. It's unbelievable. Oh Wait part of the cards Actually, maybe green discard. No, it's not thank God No, it's gonna pull fast one like that on me not on smarty Marky I'm gonna get some okay. There we go. That's good one They don't blow safe Look it's we're just being a little too. Okay blue is never safe Blues bad boys bad shit ass fuck. Alright, that was alright to take back the fuck just shit ass Good Do you have any offensive cards? - why didn't you play a bus - That's not me. That's cutie. No, cutie. I Cutie drew two cards last time around because they drew a +2 Thank you, thank you I think mark I don't think Marcus blue I think we're good Cutie hasn't even won entire time and luckily cutie. What about cutie? Fuck it her him. Fuck UT, okay Yeah, wait that head really didn't have very much blue in it This head doesn't really have very much blue in it either fairly Yeah, definitely gonna stay this color so that's good, I like that color that's a good color. Okay good Thanks, bro. Yay. Thanks everybody. Thanks Me Torino, oh you think that's good wait till you see what I got? I know what you've got What Because I'm a cool guy thank you see that actually helps cuz I had nothing so that's good. Haha Oh you wanna you want some help mark I Don't like big fat one of those. Ok. Well, that's alright. That's awkward because my next play was to give me that hand Okay Do anything about this, I hope it's not red it's not red Who are you talking to red scare everybody red so so fuck you fairly Okay here I am adding back I like that card, that's a blue We have this code system that we worked out together cuz we double coming scrambled eggs Mars Tycoon your scrambled eggs goes yellowing. What are you talking about? Clearly roller coaster tycoon. Oh, Okay, scram be eggs ride. I'm the fool here. I'm funky cutie this I guess Fuck you spaceship dick of the cars. What is that? Oh, that's what that is. Okay, I Didn't I didn't have any choices Red and green that's must be what this card is both. Ready Oh, Interesting both well, I'm about to know for sure what he has. Oh look at that. It's beautiful My urine has never been so displeased. I don't think you know, I don't know why I said that or Do you need to see a doctor maybe. Oh mark look at all those good cards you got bud, oh baby! I'm a collector That's a keeper. That's a good one Oh. Ooooh No, I (Wade talks over Bob) Oh, urine, yellow. Mm-hmm, PeePee you've got PeePee color. Why are you speaking in code you could just say what you mean to say? Listen mark I can't get away. (same time Bob and Wade say Wade: He doesn't understand our code Bob: I'm gonna play the long game All right. Nevermind I'm gonna play the wait game Wade has yellow, wade has only yellow left. Don't make it yellow. Does he? Does he now??? OOOoOOOoooooO Well, he's got lots of stuff now. (T_T) Mark, that hand is F******* horrible. Alright Okay, no one change the color ever so the bot the bot has only yellow left I believe Oh yeah.... right womp Oh no,The bot draw, why'd you do that? I don't like you Bob. That's why MMMMMarks gonna hurt us. I feel like that's badly untrue. Yeah, okay. All right, baby Mark's gonna hurt us! I'm gonna hurt you guys. He's gonna hurt me right now. You don't know that. (Really, Mark) Hurt him Wayde I hurt him Mark This is the kind of hurt I was expec- OHHH WHAT A SAVE!! Oh, nooo Bob really dove in front of that- Cutie saved me! Alright, now i'm gonna hurt you. Mark don't no no no nonono You definitely want mine it's better. No I don't no I don't. It's pretty good Wade mines pretty good. All right, no one believes me, that's fine. You could've had this Ooohhhh shiiiiiiiit I don't like that. BLUE. I don't like that. No blue is good its the color of snow and ice and other white things. (Oh REALLY, Bob) And your balls and your mood, you know BLUE. Good six their Wayde good six, good six. Aren't you lucky I drew a two aren't you bitch. Pretty good two pretty good two. What the hell just happened. What's going on. (Unintelligible over lapping Mark, Wayde, and Bob noises) Wow that was actually a pretty good sequence for me. I still got a draw I guess but that's okay I like drawing cards It's fun to get new things. You know, it's like I upgrade for my hand. Yeah Okay, that's good. That's good Wait, what what what? I don't know what color Wayde has?I'm just curious I can't do anything about it I guess but Look I don't know if- MOTHERF****** Cutie A$$ F***** Did you have red? I had F****** red! It's a one party, hell yeah Oh yeah, Cutie draw- OH FUCK Speaking of.... Oh, bro calm down. We had such a good thing going we were laughing about stuff. WE NEVER HAD A GOOD THING EVER! EVER. Calm down bro. NO. What color what color does the bot have. I don't care. That's a good one Fuck your yellow i changed it to something else. Do you see, do you see who your enemy is Mark. EVERYONE. It's Cutie Everyone's my enemy. It's mostly Wayde. Everyone. Hey wait wait wait wait Absolutely not My hand is so good. No fucking way I'd rather take a hive of wasps. Fucking blue!! Your stupid fucking hand. Oh, dear Now see mark now no one needs to do anything rash. I wasn't gonna. Oh, dear, what's that to you? Everybody gets a card. Fuck you. Good play Cutie could play good play good play guys could play Cutie, good play good Cutie. See we like cutie. Oh, yeah. Good job. Cutie. Nice. He's pretty cool cooler than anyone else. I know Cuter than literally any person in existence of this room, you know, what Mark? yeah. I like the way you play I want to see you doing some more washing shit. Watch this. Watch this. You're gonna love this. Heart of the cards? Closed what is that man? We're just as good or something problem. All right, let's see it back up your words back up your world. Oh Do what you do it Fuck okay. All right. Listen, there there way. It really even made sense air kids watching I think we have different concerns, but mark and I are both concerned challenging Wow challenge it okay Well, that was a pretty thorough dicking Bob your hand I'm the hand man. That's me. Man. Bob Oh mark look. Oh, that's a good one too. Oh You're talking shit My hand is a nice one because it's not me my hand should go commit Well that changes things. (Bob and Wade talk at the same time) Woo! Get em Cutie! heart of the cards, heart of the cards! All right. WELL FUNNY JOKE HAHA MY TURN. Okay. All right, okay I guess that - (Wade says something) Man I'm good. How are you friends with Mark? And he's the one rooting for cutie? I'm not rooting for cutie! I'm rooting for- The first one (wade has a stroke) (Mark) - The thing is, I'm rooting for not you guys. And it just so happens to be Cutie's here! We're all Well - I - This might be the end of the game. You don't know that. Definitely unless someone jumps in. Cause fuck yeeEEaEEeAh! Get skipped bi- Oh See Wade, this is why nobody likes you. (Outro plays)
