Mark: I'm firing it up- our favorite game, totally fair. I still haven't updated my profile picture. Wade: Great, that's a good picture. (Bob laughs) Mark: How do I do th- okay, how do I do this? Wade: You have to do- you have to go through Uplay its- Mark: What?! Bob: Yeah I did mine on my Xbox 360, somehow. Mark: Alright, I'll do it. Wade: It's a process. Mark: No, I can- (Wade: Let's play some Uno) No, I- I got it, it's right here. Mark: I have to log in the website?? Why would I need to go here? Mark: Assign an a-- (Wade: We got an hour, it's fine) I got it, I got it, I got it, here we go, here we go. Mark: Y'all are about to eat. S h i t. Mark: "File too small??" (Bob: <laughing> file too small?!) Mark: What?? Bob: Y'know, it's a s-- it's a too small file.
Wade: Listen Mark-- not everyone's blessed with a normal-sized or enlarged file. Some of us just have small files.
Bob: Yeah, no, buddy, it's nothing to be ashamed of, okay? Mark: Alright, I got it.
Bob: Great. Mark: I got it. Yeah, I- yeah, I got it.
Bob: No, that's wha t I'm saying Bob: You shouldn't be ashamed of how small it is, it's okay.
Mark: I'm not ashamed, I'm not ash-. Mark: I'm not ashamed.
Bob: I'm glad, I'm-- good. Good. That's good (x1). That's good (x2). That's good (x3).
Mark: Alright when does my picture update here? Bob: Never. Wade: I think you have to restart your game or restart UPlay or restart Steam, you- there's something. Mark: Alright I'll restart the game. Wade: *sarcastically* Oh yeah please, by all means. (mark laughs) Bob: Yeah, we're not doing anything, its fine, its good. Mark: Here I come! Mark: Oh, I can mix-
Wade: We're sure we're ready Mark: I can mix the game audio on the fly with this thing!
Wade: Yeah, please do. Wade: Yeah, do that instead of joining.
Bob: Uh huh? I know, it's crazy, right? It's awesome.
Mark: It's so cool! Mark: F**K Barbara. Recording: F**K Barbara. (Bob laughing) Mark: Hey, it works! Wow! Recording: F**K Barbara. Wade: I mean, I approve of your message, but why am I alone in this lobby right now? Recording: F**K Barbara.
Mark: I'm still loading, it's stuck loading. (Bob laughing) Wade: UUUGGGH
Recording: F**K Barbara. (Bob still laughing) Wade: Stop! Mark: This is f**king Barbara's fault! Recording: F**K Barbara. This is f**king Barbara's fault! Mark: Got it. I'm good to go. Mark: It's in loading hell. Mark: No network connection?! Mark: Hey, toss me another one of those invites. Wade: You're not even- I can't even see you online, I only see Bob (Bob: Don't do it, no, not like this) Mark: What? Am I not online? Is it because I tried to update my profile picture? Wade: I...probably. I mean- Wade: I told you it was a process
Mark: Alright, I'm gonna get outta this. Wade: Let's see if Mark's- Mark I sent you another invite. Mark: Hang on, I'm not-- I gotta load in.
Wade: All of a sudden you appeared online.
Mark: I'm getting out of Uno- Mark: I got online as soon as I exited the game?
Wade: Yeah. (Wade and Bob snicker) Mark: Alright. Sure. Right. M: I got this. Maybe.
Recording: This is f***ing Barbara's fault! Mark: Yep. Bob: (laughs) Yea- you can't agree with your own self!
Mark: (laughs) Mark: Yeah I can! Bob: 'Yeah it fuckin is'.
Mark: Oh, wait- Mark: You right! Recording: You right! Bob: This is f<cuts out>g Barbara's fault. Recording: F*** Barbara. Recording: You right! <all three laugh> (Mark and Bob laugh loudly) Wade: Stooooop.
Bob: God damn it.
Recording: F**k Barbara. You right! M: I got it, it's perfect! (Wade and Bob laughing) Bob: Aw shit. Wade: We're eventually gonna come to a stream where Mark's just gonna have pre- like, recorded everything, and we're gonna think we're talking to him but he won't even be there. Mark: Uh huh. Mark: Oh, yeah. Mark: Mmhm. Mark: Aw, me too, man. Recording: Uh huh. Oh yeah. Mmhm. Aw, me too, man. (Bob and Wade laughing) (all three laughing) Bob: How many layers of the fuckin recordings can you have? Mark: You can have 12 at a time. (all three laughing) Bob: Oh my god... Mark: Yes I agree. Aw, no way!
Bob: Aw shit, that thing is hilarious (Bob and Wade laughing in background)
Recording: Aw, no way! Aw, me too man. Yes I agree. (All three laughing) (Bob laughing hysterically in background)
Wade: I don't even think the laugh is really him anymore! Bob: He's got layers on layers...
Mark: I'm in! Mark: WHERE'S MY PROFILE PICTURE?!
Bob: ...just laughing at his own recORDINGS- (all three laugh hysterically) Wade: All of this and it's still fucking blank! Mark: Alright, let's do this!
Bob: Aw shittt. Wade: My god dammit! Mark: (tears of joy) Let's play some unoooooo Wade: (sarcastically) Are you sure you guys are ready?? You don't wanna (Mark starts the game) res- fucking fuck you Recording: Yes, I agree.
(Bob starts laughing) Wade: StooOoOop (Starts laughing)
Recording: Aw, me too, man. (Wade and Bob laughing hysterically again)
Mark: I don't have just a "yes." (All laughing) Mark: Yes Mark: No Recording: Yes. No Mark: Got it. (All laughing again) Mark: Here we gooooo. Mark: Lets play some uno! Wade: Is Globox a bot? It's gotta be right? Mark: Yea yeah Wade: Hopefully Globox isn't a person. Wade: Nice plays... Skip Globox Mark: Thank you. Bob: You skipped me- no no you didn't. Okay I see...
Mark: No way. Wade: Oh hey, I get to draw (Wade grunts) (Wade moans) Mark: What is that? Wade: I think this just reveals the hand... yeah. Mark: Oh. Wade: Oh look at that sweet plus 4 Mark and Bob: hmmm
Bob: That's not so good for Mark... Mark: You don't know Mark: You don't know that Mark and Bob: That's not so good.. Mark: It's not so good for you. Bob: Yeah.. I sorta figured. Mark: HuhAHhaHAhaHAhahahaha Wade: Well, that's not so good for Glo. Except for- he had two of these, didn't... (trails off) (various disapproval) (Bob: Okay, well..) Wade: Hey, everyone's having a good time now! Bob: A-ha! Mark: It's always great when we're off to the most depressing start to Uno possible. Wade: GloBox you'd better play a 9! Wade: (whispers) d o i t . Wade: Fuck you. Bob: Oh shiiiit! Mark: Ahhh.
Wade: Fuck YOU! Wade: Fuck yellow. Fuck the pee. Bob: Oh dear. Dear me. Oh goodness. Wade: I would challenge. I don't trust him. Mark: I'll decline it. Mark: It's fine. Bob: Oh, well. Sorry, Wade. Wade: (strained) That's fine. *Mark laughs* Wade: It's fine. It's fine.
Mark: (mocking) "It's fiiiiine." Bob: Wade, what's a good colour for you to punish him? Wade: Red! Wade: Alright. That's a really good colour for me to punish him. Wade: Be punished!
Mark: That's not a punishment.... Wade: Oh yeah, they gained 3 more cards! Mark: Wha- No! Wh- WADE! (Wade laughs) Bob: Well, okay. Draw some cards, bud. (Mark and Bob laugh) Wade: What? Bob: Just silence. Wade: Oh, I was muted. Wade: Barbara just donated and said "I did nothing and you-"(cuts out)
(Bob laughs) Mark: There he goes! Wade: Barbara's in my chat talking shit. Mark: Ah, okay. There you go, Bob. Bob: Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, whoa, let's not - let's not do that. Don't do that. Mark: Oh, what? Wade: Wh- NO, NO, NOOooo...
Mark: What? What?! What the-? Bob: Eat a dick!
Mark: WHAT?! Wade: That thing fucked you.
Mark: In what w- WHAT WAS THAT?
Bob: Eat a dick! Wade: That thing fucked you hard.
Bob: That was the best card in the deck. Mark: What is that garbage? Bob: Eat a giant dick.
Wade: Look at everyone's hand, then look at Mark's! Mark: Uh, W H A T, how? Wade: Stop with the red! Bob: We can't see your hand, Wade; how many you got? (Wade moans) Wade: 2.
Bob: Oh, you had 3, okay. Mark, softly: just.. Bob: Well, that's not... Wade: Yeah, I was tired of the re- I was hoping you had red, 'cause I was just playing fuckin red, and. Mark: What's wrong with red? Red's fine.
Wade: Oh, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob- Wade: Now, don't- don't-
Bob: I'm trying to remember what color Wade had. I believe he has green and yellow. Wade: Bob, that's not good. I know what you're gonna do with that. Wade: I KNOW what you have that's that color. Bob: No, I don't think you know. Wade: Mark, you don't wanna let this happen, buddy. Wade: You gotta stop Bob. Bob: Nah, nah, nah, it's fine. Bob: Oh, hey Mark. Wade: That's awkward. Mark: Uh huh.
Bob: That's cool. Mark: Yeah, what?
Bob: That's cool, bud, that's real cool. Bob: Appreciate that.
Wade: Bob, you had a rough time last hand so...
Bob: Oh, wow, thanks friend. Wade: No, you're gonna appreciate this, you're gonna appreciate this. Bob: Oh, okay, well, yeah, I do appreciate that, actually. Wade: Yeah, I thought you would. Yeah. Wade: I thought you would, which is why I'm gonna do this now. (all laugh) Bob: Wade has a yellow, let's get Wade! Mark: God dammit.
Wade: Come on, come on! Bob: Wait, leave it yellow, leave it yellow!
Mark: A-ha! Mark: I left it yellow for you, Bob.
Bob: Noo, I had this! Wade: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Wade: NO! Bob: That's not good. I guess that's fine. Mark: Is this better? Bob: YES, YES IT IS!! Mark: Yeah! Yeah!
Wade: Nononononono Wade: Awww...
Mark: That's what you get, Wade. Mark: That is really... honestly, that's-- that is--
Wade: My brilliant-- my brilliant scheme... Mark: That is what you deserve. Honestly. Wade: I schemed so well, though. Remember the time that I schemed it? Mark: Yeah, I remember. Bob: I do remember that.
Mark: Yeah. Mark : We all remember. Everybody remembers that. Wade: It was a good time! Mark: Yeah. Mark: Everyone remembers that.
Bob: Sorry, bud. Wade: That's what you get for helping Bob. (Mark laughs)
Bob: I- hey, whoa. Listen. Mark: What I get for helping Bob is Bob skipping me. Wade: Yes.
Bob: I've got a lot of stuff backed up here- What does that do? Wade: Oh, it's another five! Bob: Oh, it copies. Okay, well. Bob: That's not what I was hoping for. Wade: Aw, no, that sucks.
Bob: Ooh, man, look at all those good cards I got. Bob: Ooh, baby. Mark: Alright, let's see what else is in store. Wade: Let's all just- Alright, we're back to start! Mark: Yeah! *laughs* Wade: Globar is- er, Globox-
Mark: We might as well have not done anything, honestly. Wade: Yup.
Bob: Oh, thank God for you, Wade. You're a saint. Mark: Right, well...
Bob: You're a god among men- Oh. Wade: Hey! This is good, everybody, we're all happy now, that sucks. Wade: Alright. Well. Bob: Really? Wade: Just gonna get that outta the way. Bob: Are you... Sure about that? Mark: Somethin' tells me... Somethin' tells me he might have some green in his hand.
Wade: Hundred percent. Bob: Mmmm, I think he didn't. I don't remember. Bob: It's okay, just somebody reverse this please, do it, I want you to do it. Wade: How about you have a sweet 8? Mark: Oh, no... AHA!
Bob: Gotcha, bitch! Bob: Wait, who did we get? Mark: Uh, GloBox.
Wade: Oh, no! GloBox got to play their 8!? Wade: Ahh.
Bob: What the fuck? Bob: Oh, well, that didn't work out very well. (Mark sighs) Mark: Alright, that- Wade: It's okay. Everything is as it should be. Mark: That was very clearly GloBox's fault for jumping in when they shouldn't have! Wade: Didn't- Hold on- didn't Bob win "Sorry!" and Mark win "Trouble"? Mark: I don't know.
Wade: Also Bob just quit. Why'd Bob quit? Mark: Bob, where'd you go?
Wade: Oh, fucking Barbara came in! Wade: I'm quitting too.
Mark: Welp. We're leaving. Wade (muttering): Thank god fucking- Bob: Oh, I forgot how this game works, actually. Wade: Yeah, you just- you just stick with us and don't... leave.
(mark laughs) Wade: That's alright, that was Rayman, we never have to play that deck again. Mark: Oh, that was it? Okay, good. Mark: Can I get an invite? Bob: You just join! (Mark: Can I get an invite?) Bob: God dammit! Mark: I would like an invite please. Bob: You just join. Do it yourself! M: I want an invite. (Bob sighs)
Mark: I'm like a vampire, I can't enter the lobby until I get an invite. Wade: I sent you another one.
Mark: I don't see it. Mark: Where?
Bob: It's in where the invites go. Wade: There's a third one.
Mark: I don't see it.
Wade: Do you accept the third one? Mark: No, I don't see it, there's nothing. Wade: He's playing the goddamn thing, isn't he?
Mark: No, I'm not! Mark: I actually-
Wade: Is that a recording? Is this a recording too?
Mark: No! Wade: Where is your goddamn invite? Just get in the fucking game! Mark: You'll never trust me ever again!
Wade: No, I won't! Wade: No, I won't!
Mark: I'm joining the game, I'm joining the game. Wade: No, I won't!
Mark: I didn't- I didn't get an invite, I will be very clear, I didn't get an invite. Mark: You can watch the video, I didn't get an invite.
Bob: Uh huh.
Wade: No, I won't! Bob: Yep.
Recording: Yes, I agree. (laughing) Bob: Fucker. Wade: No Barbara, just give us GloBox again. Wade: Oh, God, Barbara's such a BITCH.
Mark: I though we weren't doing Rayman.
Wade: F U C K Wade: GOD DAMMIT!
Bob: What's up, Barbara? Mark: I thought we were never playing Rayman again! Wade: I'm not letting her hit me with- SEE? SEE? Wade: Look what the FUCK happens when you play with Barbara!
Mark: Why- why would that go right off the- Mark: I don't believe that. Right off the bat? Mark: Okay.
Bob: Wow.
Wade: Look what happens when you play with BARBARA. Bob: Ooookay. Recording: Uh huh. Mark: No, wait, not that one. Wade: I don't care if I win my only g- okay, I won't do anything this round, but man, in the future!- Recording: f u c k b a r b a r a
Wade: -I'm gonna fuck Barbara over!
Recording: You right! Recording: You right! Wade: Barbara, Barbara, where's your donation about you doing nothing now? Where's that?
HUH? Wade: Where's that now?
(Bob laughing) Recording: This is fucking Barbara's fault! (all laughing)
Bob: Jesus Christ! Bob: (laughing) Oh, shit! Bob: Wade, listen, hey, hang on a minute. Dude, bro.
Wade: This is awkward. Bob: Dude, bro, that's really mean. Wade: Yeah, sure was when you did it to me, too. Bob: Okay, I'm just gonna-
Mark: How- Mark: We are- We- We are like on the second round. How do you have so many cards?
Bob: End my stream- I'm good. Bob: IT'S YOUR FUCKIN' HAND! Mark: What did I do? (all laughing)
Bob: How do you have so many cards, STUPID? Mark: Ah, you got me there, you really, really got me there!
(laughing) Bob: God dammit. Mark: I don't remember changing.
Wade: Is that- Is that really Mark or is it a recording? Mark: Huh? What? Wade: I feel like this is all just Mark's recordings.
Recording: You right! (all laughing) Wade: Stop! Lemme playyy! Mark: No!
Bob: Fack youu! (bob and mark in unison) Faaaack youu! Bob: Well-
Wade: Alright, alright. Oh fuck, oh fuck. Bob: You right. Wade: Alright. Recording: You right. Wade: Stop.
Bob: God dammit.
Recording: Uh huh. Wade: Is that really Mark?
Bob: No, it's not!
Recording: Yes. (all laughing)
Wade: Barbara's back! Thank you, Barbara! Recording: f u c k b a r b a r a
W: God damn it, you skipped me, Barbara. Recording: You right.
W: I see you right there, I see you right there, Barbara. W: Who's turn- who's on left?- FUCK! W: Let me play!
(mark laughs) W: *gibberish* B: EAT A GIANT PILE OF SHUT THE FUCK UP. (mark laughs) (bob sighs)
(mark laughs) B: GOD. DAMMIT.
W: Nooooo.
B: SHUT UP. B: Thanks, bud.
Oh- well, there's kind of a... crucial problem with this hand, isn't there? W: Ah, well-
B: Ah, Mark-
W: Bob, enjoy that one too. M: Oh, yeah- I see, I see, I see.
B: Kind of a fundamental problem over there. M: I see what you're talking about. W: You ain't got a (mumbling). M: Sorry, WHAT? (laughter and confusion) M: Aha! B: Gotem. B: Hey, there's one. M: Long way around the bend to go- (talking over each other) (all laughing) B: Ahhh, shit. W: Ooooooooooh. B: Oooooooooh, well... W: Thank God Barbara had 15 cards! B: We're back to the start, nobody did anything. W: Hey, guess who doesn't have any goddamn red?
(bob laughs)
M: Wow. W: Bob doesn't.
B: Oh-
M: Okay. B: Yeah, I didn't have any red either, so enjoy that! (wade laughs) B: Aw, who the fuck? W: WHY? W: There's still not a god damn red card in his fucking hand. W: Only Mark has possibly red cards.
M: I DON'T have red cards! M: I don't know why you'd assume I do.
W: No one has red cards! M: Barbara, tell him! W: Aw, fuck. (bob giggles) B: Yeah, tell him, Barbara. W: Noooo!
(bob laughs)
W: I just wanna plaaaaay! M: Maybe you have some red, huh? M: No.
W: No, stop! W: Don't look! It's private! B: No, stop! Wait! B: Stop it! Eurghhh! W: Take 2. M: Woooow. B: Uh- Woah- Uhhhh! B: Oh no. (various sounds of disapproval) B: Well, it auto played. W: No... Not red... No one has red. Oh, good. M: I'll take that. B: It's okay. M: I'll take it, I'll take it. W: Enjoy your nine cards. M: Are you a robot? B: Hey, buddy. I'll give you another chance. M: You don't have a chance! B: Buddy o' friend of miiiine! W: Oh, take that Barbara! Ya fuck! B: Oh, man, this is still the same problem! B: Fuck! M: What colour do you need, Bob? B: Mmmmm... Blue I could do some stuff I guess. M: You got it, buddy. M: I'm here for you. M: Sorry... I tried. M: Oh, no. I gotta do this now. B: Wow. Well, that didn't really work out well for me, did it? M: I was just trying to help! W: Imma help too! B: Uhhhh, that's not good. Good. Good. B: If you can make it blue? W: Yeah, if you all can just make the colour- W: What I need- B: Well, that's even better. W: Nononononono M: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! B: That's good. W: I just took the biggest dickins. B: Oh, man, we were buddies on that one. M: You act like I have a choice in anything I do, Bob. M: You act like ANY part of this game is a choice. W: There you go, Mark. There's 2 cards. M: Thank you, thank you. B Well that's- that's- you're really giving the game away there, huh? W: Yeah, kinda. W: No one has red, so they're all f u c k e d. M: Where did you get red? W: It was in your hand! M: Oh, you're right! (wade laughing) Recording: You right! (all laughing) W: Barbara, you're fucking over Mark again! (laughing) B: Wellllll... B: Can I give the +4 to Wade? M: Uhhhh, yes! M: Apparently! B: I know what colour it should be. W: You had green. I don't believe you. W: I know you. B: Oh, I did have green. M: Oh. W: Fucking take it- now I got- god dammit, that's alright. W: ooooh B: Just... Whatever, I guess. W: Whatever, I still have fucking red, or not. M: Well, then, where are all of these reds coming from? W: YOU! M: I'm not- M: Ah, well, yea, okay. Recording: You right! W: STOPPPP! (all laughing) B: I hate it so much... W: I don't know the cards Mark has, but it looks like a lot. M: What'd you mean? Oh- yeah, I got the cloud, I forgot. W: Fart cloud. Do I still have the fart cloud? M: No, you're not farted up. W: Yuhhhwouuah. I just needed to do that for science. M: Alright. M: Red? W: No- you fucking- B: Red's good. M: Red's good. B: I like red. W: I hate you all. W: NO. NO. B: Shut up. B: Eat it. B: Suck one. W: Not me, not me, not me! W: Fuck. B: Do it Barbara. Do it real good. B: Yeah, I got one of those too. W: I GOT ONE OF THEEESE. W: Shouldn't have given me your hand, Barbara! M: I'm sorry. M: I'm just enjoying- enjoying what's happening. W: I hate everything about Barbara and she just- W: Are you shitting me? B: Okay, I guess I'll just play that one then. B: That's okay. Oh, boy. B: Okay, thanks, buddy. W: You're welcome. B: That's cool. Look at all of these good cards! B: Oh, man! B: So good! B: Oh, hey. W: 666! B: Oh, tHaNKs, dUde! (all laugh) B: Oh, wow, you did it just for me! B: Those are keepers, I'm keeping that, I'll play that. B: Oh, that's good. B: You can have mine! B: You want mine. Listen, Wade, trust me. (laughing) W: No, I want Barbara to draw. B: No, Wade we could play a game. B: Oh, no. Oh, boy. That's the wrong one. (wade laughs) B: Listen, Wade, we're gonna play a game. M: What's the colour? Is it- is it yellow? B: It's yellow, yeah. B: Well... Okay, do it to Barbara, yeah yeah. W: Let's go yellow, Bob. W: FUCK! (mark laughs) W: Nooo, nooooo! B: Ah, well, you could've just- you could've just- B: No, wait, we can still do it! W: Nononononono. B: It's fine, it's fine, it's fine, you can totally get them back. B: Mark, dude, listen, you had even more than it looked like. B: You had all these great cards. W: WHAT THE FUCK BARBARA? B: Ah, here, Wade, I have a present for you! W: Aw, thanks, I got Barbara's goddamn cards! B: Aw, man, I got my hand back! I love this hand! B: It's a good hand. I'm feeling positive about this, guys. W: Mark, WHAT THE FUCK? B: Aw, man, now it's red! Now it's blue! That's good too. B: Aw, thanks, buddy! I didn't have one, so you saved me there! B: Ooooh, double 3, look out! B: Oh, oh, ooooh, noooo. Oh wow. W: I'm angry for you. B: Ahhh, mmmm... I'm gonna gamble. B: C'mon, buddy. (marks laughs) W: NOOOOOO, B̵̢̡̹̗̣̻̩̯̺̗̳̞͓̗̫̦̳͕̘̭̻̬̰̳̟̓̒̾̂̾͋̿̀̑̾͌̄͆̋̏̀̆͌̇̒̀̋͌͋͛͘͝A̸̧͉͎̥̮͚̥̾̔́͝R̸̹̹̙̣͇͇̬̜̼̺͔̲͎͔̠̹͉̭̱̞̈́́́̐̇̍̀͑̈̈́̑̀͐̏̄̇͒̀͋̇͠͝͠͝ͅB̴̨̧̛͚̖̯̹̥̝͙̗͕̦͖͕̤͉̥̻͕̫̫̖̘̤̥̦̻̒̑̀͛̓͋͆̾̃̈́͂̈́̎̔̏͘͜͠Ä̵̗̣͈̲̹̜͇̪̬͚͎͎͖͖͓͉̺̤͓͒̈͑̀̔̋́̓̑̆̀̒̈́͌̿̐̎̕̚͝͝͠͝͝ͅR̶̛̥̱̟̜̬̩̎̈́̒̂̑̾̑̏̀̂̏̂̔̃́Á̴͙̩̻̯̞̰͍̏̑̑͐̏̂̈̓́̓̐̚͝ W: B̵̢̡̹̗̣̻̩̯̺̗̳̞͓̗̫̦̳͕̘̭̻̬̰̳̟̓̒̾̂̾͋̿̀̑̾͌̄͆̋̏̀̆͌̇̒̀̋͌͋͛͘͝A̸̧͉͎̥̮͚̥̾̔́͝R̸̹̹̙̣͇͇̬̜̼̺͔̲͎͔̠̹͉̭̱̞̈́́́̐̇̍̀͑̈̈́̑̀͐̏̄̇͒̀͋̇͠͝͠͝ͅB̴̨̧̛͚̖̯̹̥̝͙̗͕̦͖͕̤͉̥̻͕̫̫̖̘̤̥̦̻̒̑̀͛̓͋͆̾̃̈́͂̈́̎̔̏͘͜͠Ä̵̗̣͈̲̹̜͇̪̬͚͎͎͖͖͓͉̺̤͓͒̈͑̀̔̋́̓̑̆̀̒̈́͌̿̐̎̕̚͝͝͠͝͝ͅR̶̛̥̱̟̜̬̩̎̈́̒̂̑̾̑̏̀̂̏̂̔̃́Á̴͙̩̻̯̞̰͍̏̑̑͐̏̂̈̓́̓̐̚͝ B: Good play, good play. W: FUCK! B: Wow, that's a good one. W: F U C K (mark laughs) W: FUCK FUCK FUCK. B: What a game, guys. B: We're just playin' some threes, back to back. B: Some one's, back to back. W: You wanted this deck and you wanted Barbara, this is what you signed up for. B: Hey, I'm having a great time. (mark laughs) (mark kinda dying) B: Whoa, calm down, man. It's just a game, it's fun! (talking over each other) B: Enjoy that. (more talking over each other :n) B: The swippity swap. W: Not Barbara, because FUCK Barbara. B: Swippity swappity! M: What's Barbara got? W: Noooooo. B: Oh, wait, uh... actually- M: You want Barbara's hand. M: I think you want Barbara's hand. B: I want that one. W: No, you want THIS hand! M: No, I want the hand that Barbara DIDN'T have yet. W: Oh, this hand is so fuckable, you want THIS hand. B: Whoa, that's aggressive, that's aggressive. M: That's aggressive. B: You want to calm it down a little bit there. M: That's not necessary. B: You gotta relax. B: It's fine, it's fine. (wade screams) B: Aw, good shit! B: Oh, yeah, red, Barbara, look at that. M: Here we gooo! B: Oooooh, weeee! W: What is ths shit? B: Barbara always has the best cards, that's what I always say. M: Yep. B: Awww, look at that yellow, aw, man! B: That's wild, all those threes in there, look at that. B: That's crazy. W: Mmmmm. M: Good choice, Bob. Good choice. B: Yeah, teamwork. B: Wow, yellow again? Barbara's got some yellow going on over there. W: Great. W: Barbara you did nothing, you can get out of here and take your 5 dollars. W: (mumbles about barbara) (mark laughs) B: I- (mark laughs) B: I- B: I don't understand what's happening- wow... (wade choking drowns out bob) B: I would have never had thought that- W: What a plot twist, she needed fucking blue! B: That was wild, man. W: (wade coughing) W: I'm dying... B: Ooh, wow wow wow wow wow! (wade still choking) B: That's unfriendly, that's aggressive. W: IT'S FINE! I'm just choking! (continues to choke) M: Ah, here we go. M: I don't know. W: Do it, buddy! M: (laughing) Thanks, man! B: Good pick, good pick. B: Wade- W: I don't believe you. B: (unintelligible) (mark laughs) W: I can't see them! (talking over each other) W: Everything's fine. B: Oh, that's cute, yeeeaaah. B: Oh, yeah. B: Imma- I'm gonna live the life. 👌 B: That's what I'm gonna do. M: That's a good life. W: Good choice. M: That's a good choice. B: That's a good one, right? Am I right? M: Good choice. B: Uh oh. M: Oh no. W: It sure is! (wade maniacally laughs) B: Dude, that dragon's eating a LOT of cards. W: Fuck you, Barbara. M: I love it when you laugh, Wade, because I know you're having fun. M: That's all you need. W: I'm having a great time. B: You're such an uplifting, happy dude. M: Yeah. M: Jovial, some might say. W: Oh, I'm as fucking happy as a fucking lark. M: Yeah, I can tell. B: It sounds- it sounds good. M: You're always happiest when you curse, I know that. M: We know this, I know this. W: You know me, when I'm out there getting the dickins, I'm really giving it. B: Ah, man, outplayed, outplayed. B: Oh- yayyy! W: Oh, alright, just a friendly little 9 here. M: Uh huh. W: Can you change the goddamn colour, Barbara? Ya fuck. W: See ya later, hand! (mark chuckles) B: Cool, cool, cool, yeah, cool, cool, cool. W: Alright, sweet. Good play everybody, good play. W: Ah, what a colour change. B: Good colour, look at that colour change. (mark grumbles) W: Heart of the cards, heart of the cards. 🃏 B: Pfhhhht! Did you do that on purpose? M: No. DID YOU HAVE YELLOW? NOOOOOO! (bob cackles) M: I need to remember what cards I have. (talking over each other) M: I HAVE to remember! W: Ya sure do! (bob continues to cackle) W: That would sure be a good thing, huh? B: Man, my positive attitude. B: I just SAILED through that. M: Alright. B: And I just got an email from YouTube that my video about shit is suitable for all advertisers! W: There you go! B: Thanks, manual reviewer! M: That's good to know! B: Yeah, so, shit's- shit's cool, guys. B: Shits are cool. M: Cool? All good. B: Ooh! I got one of those. W: Aw, dude. W: Lay it on me. M: Take THIS! M: Barbara. B: Got her! W: Nononono- thank god. M: Am I right, everybody? Recording: Fuck Barbara. M: Yeah. (bob giggles) B: Wade, what are you doing here? Come on. W: Barbara's just- M: Wai- Awww, come on! B: I didn't have a choice. (talking over each other) W: Oh, what are you gonna do, Barbara? SKIP ME? W: Fucker! B: That seems to be EXACTLY what she's going to do. M: I wish I could record you guys' sound bytes! M: I just want Wade's "Fucker!" M: (laughing) On my- on my little thing here. B: I'm just kidding Wade, you don't need to- W: Aw, come on man! M: Come on, come on guys. B: Oh, oof, man- yellow, that's too bright for me. B: I can't afford yellow stuff. You know how much more expensive yellow stuff is than other stuff. B: I like red. You like red? M: Why that colour? B: Red's fine. I'm just testing the water. M: RED'S NOT FINE! M: Red's not fine. W: I regret everything. W: It's a great colour, just leave it alone. B: Barbara- hey- listen! W: NOOOO! NOOOO! B: Yes Barbara! M: Red's a good colour! B: (laughing) Wade, is there anyth- W: I SET THAT UP SO GODDAMN PURPOSELY! (bob cackles some more) W: F U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U C K M: Oh no... (bob cackles like a fuckin witch) M: Oh... M: I don't like that it gives me the cards after you've already won. (Bob is still fuckin cackling) (bob cackling what a suprise) B: *gasp* Okay, Barbara ABSOLUTELY did that one. W: YEAH. I KNOW. Recording: This is fucking Barbara's fault. (a mess of confusion and cackling honestly i don't even know at this point) W: YOU KNOW WHAT YOU GET, BARBARA. (bob w h e e z i n g) (bob still laughing) B: God Dammit. B: Oh, well. W: This fucking happy, peaceful music bullshit. W: Fucker. B: This is a party. M: Fucker. Recording: Fucker. Recording: Fucker. Fucker. Fucker. B: Oh, it was my turn. Oh, that's fine. W: Oh, god, my hand played so goddamn beautifully! W: Like a fucking violin in the cello of night! B: Mmhm... Yeah, yeah. Recording: Alright. B: You right. W: I had the zero I could have played!- Recording: You right. W: -Fuck you, Wade! Recording: You right. B: Mhm. Oh, yeah. You right. Recording: You right! Shut up, fuck you! W: FUCKER! (it was at this moment that wade knew he fucked up) B: Fucking Barbara! Recording: Fucker! Recording: f u c k b a r b a r a W: Fucker! Recording: You right! W: Fucker! B: This is fucking Barbara's fault! (mark silent giggles) (wade sighs) B: But am I right tho? Recording: You right! (mark and bob giggle) W: Stop. Stop. M: Aw, come on, now. B: We're here to have a good time, but I'm not here to just let you win like Wade does. (mark laughs) W: Here, Bob. Let's play a fucking game. B: Pffft, I got garbage, have fun! W: I take it back! Bob, I take it back! M: You sounded like you got drunk halfway through that fucking sentence. W: Bob, me me me me me me me! M: WHY ME? M: Why me? B: Nahhhh... W: WHY NOT ME? B: Cool, right? W: Why not me? M: Pretty cool. B: Yeah, it's fun, right? M: Yeah. W: WHY NOT ME? B: Dunno. W: (mumbling) Oh, yeah, I'm just gonna play a fuckin' four... (grumbling) B: I would let you win, Mark, but I HAVE to play, this. I'm sorry. M: That's okay, I get it. B: Barbara's probably gonna give you the victory, though. M: I unders- uh oh. B: Oh, she's gonna try! Come on, Barbara. B: You know what colour it needs to be. W: You say no, no- I say yes, yes- wait, Barbara no! W: You ruined it. B+M: YAAAAAAAAAY! W: B A R B A R A W: B A R B A R A M: Yeaaaaah! M: Wa-hoooo! B: Good game, good game! W: BAAAAAAAAAAAARBARAAAAAA M: Yeah! M: Alright! B: Unbelievable game, Mark! M: Great! W: WHAT THE FUCK BARBARA? M: Yeah! B: Oh, Wade, you're in last place. W: Why everyone but me?! M: Alright! B: Mark; that was a good hand, man. That was a good game, Mark. M: Yeah, that was a good game, it felt good. W: BARBARA JUST (unintelligible)! GOD DAMMIT! M: Yeah- Uh oh. B: Why didn't- B: That's not what I clicked on, but okay. M: Ohh. W: (screeching) BARBARA! (mark giggles) (a can of coke is opened by bob) B: Hey- listen- Wade, here. B: I gotta- I gotta good hand, you can have it. B: Wooo... You've got some special cards in here. M: Lemme take a look. Lemme take a look. B: Check that shit out, man. That's craaaazy. M: OOoooooh... Ahhhhhhhh... M: Wade, I didn't know you liked to party like this. W: I love it. B: I changed my mind. W: GOD DAMMIT. W: FUCKIN' BULLSHIT. B: Wade, you remember how bad I lost at "Trouble"? You just gotta take the good with the bad, man. W: It's fine. I'm fine. B: It's okay. W: I'm fine, I just hate Barbara so much. B: You don't sound fine, you sound like you're havin' trouble. Y-y-y-y-y-you need to take a breath, man. M: I feel like you're projecting a lot of your own insecurities on Barbara. M: And it's actually YOU. B: Yeah, definitely. W: Come on Dr Phil, lay it on me! M: I did. B: Look, Wade, when you feel this rage, ask yourself "Who am I really mad at?" B: I think we all know- W: BARBARA. B: -you're mad at yourself. W: I'm mad at- B: No, no- W: W H Y I S I T G R E E N M: Cuz I wanted it green! B: That's just deflection. Wade, you gotta be honest- you gotta be open with yourself. W: Barbara is- (demon noises) W: (like marge simpson) I didn't want green! B: You're projecting, you're deflecting, you're defending. W: BARBARA! B: See, that's not Barbara's fault. B: That's the heart of the cards. W: Barbara's donating- "Why not you because you blame me for things-" FUCK YOU BARBARA (rushed mumbling). B: I accept your +4, Mark. W: I guess, by the transit of property, that I also accept your +4, because fuck everything that I was going to do! M: Alright. B: Well, that's kind of positive. B: It's somethin'. Wade, can you do anything about this? (talking over each other) B: You gotta pay attention, man. W: Anyone has a yellow 2? Or a green 3? (marks laughs) W: You guys have a green 3? B: It's not "Go Fish," Wade, it's not "Go Fish." W: You could play it so I could jump in! W: Green nine it is, I guess. W: Here you go Barbara, watch this, see if you win. W: A fucking four, fuck you. B: Wade, I still feel like you're not taking responsibility for your own actions. W: I am fucking responsible as shit! (talking over each other) B: I- I- I'm on your side, bud. I want things to work out for you. W: Isn't it a blue four, so I can't play my fucking red four? W: God dammit. B: Yeah it's a blue four, you better watch out for that. Or, you could just let Barbara win. W: NOOOO. B: Hey, everybody gets a turn! B: Why can't Barbara win? M: Yeah! W: She DID! Two games ago! M: No, I don't remember that. W: Oh, fuck you! B: You're just feelin'- you're so just angry right now. (talking over each other) W: I'm not angry, I'm happy as shit! B: Oh, Barbara, hey, Barbara, you know what to do. W: That feels so good in my GODDAMN LOINS. B: Alright, that's creepy, Wade. W: I know. B: You need to calm down. W: You know. You know it. M: Whatcha got back there, Wade? W: I got two blues, a yellow, and a very good +4. M: You were right, you right. W: I don't get to jump in, because fuck everything. B: Now I don't know if it's really you or the recording! That's terrifying. M: You right. Recording: You right. M: You right. Recording: You right. (bob laughs) B: Ah, shit. B: That thing is hilarious. M: I can't wait until all three of us has one of these things. B: Jesus. M: Then, we'd never have to talk again! B: We should do a challenge where we have to pre-record conversations B: Or like, phrases, and then have a whole stream where we communicate using only the phrases. M: Ah, that'd be great. I like that idea. B: That's not a good colour, Wade- that's a rough hbjjjkf. B: You know what? I could use some more cards, that's what I could use. W: Somehow, two people just gifted subs to fucking Barbara. B: Holy sweet Jesus, chat. M: Uh oh, I didn't want to do that, that just happened. B: Oh, man, all my wild draw 4's are just gonna get spread around the Earth. W: Alright, well let's just get this party started right away. B: Yeah, I don't have one of those. (mark laughs) W: Okay, nevermind. B: I appreciate the sentiment, though. W: I thought we were all just gonna fuck each other right there, but I guess not. M: I mean... W: I was ready for the fuckening. I was gonna film the goddamn FUCKING SEQUEL. Sorry, Bob. B: I don't know why you assume the worst of me. I'm here to be your friend, man. B: I'm a collector of cards. I'm here to be your friend. He's got a blue and a red. (talking over each other) M: I feel as though- W: Leave it red so I can give Bob this card! M: I didn't mean to click that. I didn't mean to click that, actually. B: I'm gonna switch- let's switch this around a little bit. B: I'll correct your error. I'll correct your error. W: If Barbara gets un- B: Good job, Barbara! Way to go, Barbara! W: Goddamnit!! W: NOOOOOOOOOOO! B: Oh, yes, Barbara, please! B: I could've jumped in, but I'm gonna let Barbara win. M: Heeeeyyyy! W: MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (outro music builds up) B: Good play, Barb. Good play. (jovial outro music plays) Hey! I'm the captioner for this video! These took a while, but I hope it was worth it.
What software is mark talking about in this video for recording short voice clips? He doesn't mention anything other than "This software"
At about 9:15 Wade mentioned a game of Trouble. I can't find that on any of their YouTube channels, was it only on Twitch or something?
EDIT: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZfRVvfWn7U
It was posted Jan 27, 2019.