The 'King Of Instagram' Got Caught Faking Everything (Dan Bilzerian)

hi i'm jarvis and you're watching mtv today we're talking about dan bilzerian or as his pr firm forces every article to call him the king of instagram everyone wants to know how to be like dan and by everyone i mean 16 year old straight boys he's got it all the money the cars the clothes the hoes i suppose at least according to the song successful by drake and trey songz damn daniel back at it again uh with the white v-neck and short shorts back at it again and again and again and again dan bilzerian's instagram extravagance has inspired man children everywhere if i was a 16 year old kid and i won the lottery and i'd be living exactly the way you live and he's become the face of working hard and playing hard but without the work just play for me thank you hal you may ask does this billionaire playboy philanthropist finance his life of yachts um and thoughts well uh it turns out he doesn't allegedly if you bullied me in middle school you're probably familiar with instagram heartthrob dan bilzerian his fans call him the king of instagram but his friends uh colin blitz as of right now he has 32 million followers on instagram and his feed is dedicated to three key things weed guns hashtag america and uh last but not least his harem of scantily clad objects women women his harem of scantily clad women you make women according to them props yeah i mean i guess i said the same thing about hugh hefner right is that supposed to be a good thing i mean they said the same thing about hugh hefner i yeah they did he's talking about hugh hefner like he's mother teresa a lot of people speculated where dan got his money from a cursory glance at his wikipedia page will tell you he's the son of convicted corporate fraudster paul bilzerian who uh got really rich but get this it wasn't legal so he was then ordered to pay 60 million dollars back to the government and after he paid back three million dollars he was like uh oh i'm out of money and then the government was like but wait you made 60 million dollars doing corporate takeovers where's that money and he was like la la la i can't hear you and that was the end of that some claim to this day that paul bulgerian's missing 50 plus million dollars is still out there in like secret trusts and shell companies all around the world um but we'll never know for sure what happened to that money it uh it will forever be a mystery anyway on a completely unrelated note his son dan bilzerian mysteriously won 50 million dollars in one year playing poker which is more than any professional poker player has made in their entire lifetime but dan he did it on skill alone yep with his big giant brain what a cool guy our big man on campus used his big money big brain and even bigger beard to make big clout on instagram where he can be seen live in la vida loca as a modern day hugh hefner in 2017 dan bilzerian founded a company called ignite and the money hasn't stopped flowing since and by flowing i mean down the drain because last year they lost 50 million dollars side note why does that number keep coming up now to be fair they did make about 10 million dollars last year so when you add that back in um it's about break even but now they're getting straight up sued by their former president and it's a bona fide fire fest get it because because ignite you ignite fires ignite by the way they sell uh hang on let me look this up okay i went to their website and now i'm more confused uh anyway we'll come back to that later the lawsuit against ignite comes from their former president curtis heffernan he has this like traditional business background working at companies like proctor and gamble who's heard of them but that's nothing to our self-made man dan who uh who pulled himself up by his own trust fund the former president of ignite attributes their 50 million loss last year entirely to the buckwild spending habits of dan bilzerian he basically says that uh everything surrounding dan bilzerian's lavish lifestyle is uh paid for by his company this includes his fancy mansion he reportedly paid a mind-boggling 65 million dollars for this mega mansion actually his company uh pays 200 000 a month for rent and he was apparently kicked out recently to which his neighbors celebrated just goes to show how popular dan is because they even they even celebrate him when he's not there last halloween ignite through a party that involved pyrotechnics including a parachutist dropping with sparklers in los angeles do they not know how dry it is in california i went on a hike this weekend and the trail caught on fire anyway back to the things that dan doesn't pay for allegedly the yachts rented the models paid to be there his bed he didn't even pay for his own bed jesus 50 000 for a bed frame is his bed a tesla this man better never complain about bad sleep in his life how's it going man not too good slept pretty rough last night go [ __ ] yourself essentially everything dan bilzerian claims to be uh except his immaculate beard of course is fake for instagram which strikes me as obvious what you mean girls aren't chomping at the bit to sit on this man's lap while he pretends to write a book that doesn't seem very ergonomic also are they on like the 30th floor why are you wearing a bathing suit what a stupid question if you're going to sit on dan's lap you got to play by dan's rules you don't show the cleavage then dan will make you leavage he'll throw you off a boat is what i'm saying but hey could be worse it could be a roof so i thought it would be fun today to look at the illustrious life of instagram royalty with the alleged knowledge that it's all a scheme lord's scheme so for starters we've got dan's instagram where he is king and can be found hanging out with babes drinking beers poking bears uh smoking bud and shooting guns typical badass [ __ ] even regular nerd like chess which even i know about dan somehow makes cool by like adding a hot babe or uh and this comes as no surprise steve aoki or better yet steve aoki's creepy wack statue sometimes both now we've already seen the dan man writing his great american novel next to a hot babe but uh how about writing his book next to a hot babe now that's content putting some pocket change on cowboy cerrone who y'all got i think he's betting on an mma fight here with a very small amount of money can you even bet with that much money dan i don't think so oh there's oh it's all the cash in the background that he's betting that sure is a lot of cash question do rich people normally carry around a lot of physical cash because dan does he carries it around everywhere it seems i for one have no idea what you would do with this much cash uh during a chess game don't you have like venmo or something or like a wire transfer it seems inefficient if you ask me uh in heavy rappers do this when they want you to think that they're richer than they actually are i didn't think that rich people needed to do this are you on your phone are you betting on a chess game while you're on your phone if i were betting against you i certainly wouldn't allow this just gonna move my pawn to e4 because that's a chess move oh it's a game oh sorry uh gotta take this gary gary k it's gary kasparov um no i'm not playing chess while i am familiar with the game of chess because i'm a nerd i can't be bothered to figure out who's winning because they're using this weird chess set and i don't know how a monster truck is supposed to move holy [ __ ] wait is that is that women in bathing suits on their knees as the pawns are you [ __ ] kidding me well i guess we know what he thinks of women he thinks they can move two spaces forward if it's their first move giving away another 150k of aleister co products free shipping no gimmicks last time you guys crashed the site it doesn't sound like a very stable website damn it's 20 20. click link in bio and tag three guys who can't get laid that's rude it's a pandemic your dan is offering to give away 150 000 of uh his pheromone infused men's product so first of all uh whose pheromones where did you get these pheromones uh i asked um also i just received word from someone who has uh tried this product and rumor has it the bottles are filled with snake oil gary there are too many things to talk about in this photo like for example why is there a giant stack of cash there he's not giving the stack of cash away i can only assume that because there's no cleavage in the photo he had to supplement it with uh cash and bongs you know the other two aspects of his personality i really can't tell what this company does exactly because judging from instagram they sell bathing suits weed and deodorant oh well now i feel dumb ignite cells thc cbd and last but not least beverage i can't tell you how good it feels to come home from a long day at work and toke up on some beverage but that's not all because ignite also sells everything else cbd thc because ignite is the premium lifestyle brand for the discerning individual obviously i mean what sort of discerning individual wouldn't want to put a goat skull on their no-no places this goatsko logo which is uh for some reason the logo for ignite i have no idea why is plastered everywhere on his instagram i'm pretty sure this man thinks that if he puts his logo on something then it counts as a business expense models throw a goat on that shirts goat skull tvs goat skull military turret that's goatskull turret to you military turret is my father's name speaking of military turrets let's talk about how dan bilzerian thinks he's a [ __ ] gi joe for starters he cannot stop talking about the fact that he went through some amount of seal training that he did not finish but he claims that he got kicked out right before finishing because he was like too much of a badass or something and at some point he says that he broke both of his legs and continued the training anyway none of the story makes sense and he's horrible at telling it because you're about to be medically retired from the military he goes for broken legs and you want me to request or approve a request for you to go to seal training he goes how [ __ ] stupid are you he also gave a million dollars to help finance the movie lone survivor in exchange for like a role as an extra and then they cut his part in the movie so he sued them so that's funny he also has a giant collection of guns which i won't be showing in this video because like dan bilzerian i like money my greatest fear is that someone will break in and i won't be able to decide which hashtag gun to shoot them with oh no not the hashtag gun freeze i've got a trending topic also your worst fear is that you won't know which gun to shoot a burglar with minus snakes and worst of all and i cannot stress enough how bad this is and i can't show a lot of the visuals for this which i'm about to describe because like i said before i like money i don't want to get demonetized especially on this guy's behalf so um the stuff that i'm talking about i'll show some headlines there are videos i won't be showing them but they do exist in 2017 during the horrific las vegas shooting dan bilzerian tried to get a gun from a cop to like i don't know live out his hero fantasy and save the day it's very weird here's a play-by-play he runs up to a cop who's taking cover already a bad idea he then claims to be a cop spoiler alert he is not then the cop is like i don't know who you are you random man can't you see i'm trying to defuse a lot an active shooter situation dan bilzerian proceeds to beg for a gun like the grumpy baby that he is and shows his creds and and keeps sort of reiterating that he's already shown him his creds as if that's the problem here uh which uh the creds are fake by the way they're they're like not real he's not a real police officer he just claims to be one and finally dan chalisha gives up and uh passive aggressively is like i guess you don't want help it's like no uh yeah man not from you anyway uh sorry i got a little got a little flustered discussing that but he put himself and a cop in danger during a tragedy also he claims not to know that his friend was behind him filming him in the third person like it's [ __ ] gears of war with his track record and the fact that he was like posting instagram stories uh during this situation made it seem like he cared far more about himself and how he looked than like getting himself or the people around him to safety anyway that's uh the worst thing i think he's done other than allegedly uh kicking a model in the face with a combat boot allegedly kicking a woman in a face at a nightclub did you do that um well i'm never half-assed anything i cared about everything i do is on the highest level and ignite is gonna top everything i've done before he was right he definitely didn't have fast running his entire business into the ground is this an optical illusion or is he throwing a small child off the boat i'm gonna assume that's an adult but because we've never seen the same person twice on his instagram we'll never know except for steve aoki of course safer than a roof is he implying that he's thrown a girl off the roof yes he has apparently he threw some naked girl off of a roof during a photo shoot and uh into a pool he was trying to do it into a pool he wasn't just like it wasn't like this is sparta she broke her ankle because she like missed the pool a little bit and when she threatened to sue dan bilzerian's attorney uh implied that dan was gonna take all of her possessions and blow them up in the desert so uh a couple of great guys but if you think his instagram is bad his twitter is somehow worse if i had to guess it's because on instagram you can be distracted by the pretty pictures whereas on twitter you've got to focus on the words and when you focus on dan bilzerian's words you realize how much of a dumb donkey this guy really is i finished my book 360 pages in 57 days it took me 15 hours a day with one day off i only smoked weed three times and i went 10 days without sex what you only smoked weed three times in two months and you went 10 days without sex that's crazy man congrats why does this read like a word problem right class if dan bilzerian wrote 360 pages in 57 days worked 15 hours a day with only one day off how much is dan valzerian full of all right pencils down also since he's talking about it so much because he can only talk about the same things over and over again like a weird chat bot i suppose i should talk about his book deal in 2016 he landed a book deal with simon schuster who's one of the largest publishing houses in america and i mean congrats man who wouldn't want to tell the story of this you know crazy life but then he was dropped from the book deal when he failed to turn in a manuscript so phooey but dan claims that's not how it went down dan says that they had somebody ghostwrite the book and it sucked and when he turned in his new manuscript it was too badass for the publishing company so he's just gonna release it independently and when it comes to deciding who to trust between a giant publishing house who has a lot of projects on their mind and a narcissist who is known for embellishing stories about himself i gotta go with my boy dan people who don't matter criticize okay so first off grammar my guy no wonder simon and schuster dropped your ass dan bozarian is the kind of guy who throws a comma in a sentence that doesn't need one and thinks he did something i assume he's trying to roast people who criticize like this guy but it reads like he's telling people who don't matter to criticize him so i'm just following orders also dan if you're watching this this is uh this is good faith criticism um i'm criticizing your actions i'm trying not to take too many shots at your identity or you as a person though oh it would be so easy um like i could i could mention how your head looks like a hexagon but for the most part i'm trying not to take any take any low shots you know how how like when you said that ugly women hurt your eyes anyway i read this tweet and then i read the tweets that came after this and it felt like someone was playing a cruel joke on me people who don't matter criticize followed by if someone can't swim their parents are failures all right so first off [ __ ] you actually this is like the pot calling the kettle black if two seconds before the pot was like people who point out the color of the kettle don't matter also back to this elitist ass swimming tweet i didn't learn to swim as a kid and yeah i grew up poor but you grew up in an 11 bedroom mansion with a silver spoon sticking out of your giant hexagonal head also my parents uh weren't indicted for securities fraud so you're right my parents have failures after all i criticize so i clearly don't matter i don't care what anyone says if you're a dude and you pay these [ __ ] on only fans you're a sucker you know legend has it that if dan bilzerian contradicts himself three times in a row a victoria's secret angel gets her wings calling dudes suckers who pay for only fans is a weird opinion to have coming from coming from someone who pays for models to stand next to him fun exercise i like to do is imagine a model sitting on dan bilzerian's lap as he uh types out this misogynistic nonsense i've also got to say that it's not a surprise that he pays these models and i'm sure he's not paying all of them i'm sure there are people who just like to hang out at his house cause like who wouldn't but he never tags these people and they're always wearing his merch so there's clearly like an exchange going on cell phones and social media have really over stimulated people and i think it's a reason for the recent increase in add and anxiety i read a book for the first time in seven years use this time to bang out some books have sex don't stress and calm your mind congrats i think this is like a weird eighth dimensional flex that my tiny brain can't understand by the way it's not the 80s anymore it's adhd shout out to my adhd homies inattentive gang gang celebrities need to stop being concerned with their image be authentic if people are offended don't apologize tell them to suck a dick what dan can i call you dan i want to call you png because sir you are all image don't believe what you read in the press almost every article written has an agenda and a spin once again coming from a man who has faked his entire image this is hilarious uh because dan bilzerian has more spin than a beyblade people that ask you to pick them up from the airport are [ __ ] [ __ ] whoa man don't stress bang out some books calm your mind and last but not least what if you had everything and it wasn't enough oh this is kind of sad it's a rare moment of transparency for a man who has a grenade launcher in his profile picture so it's safe to say that these tweets are hot garbage but the fun doesn't stop there there's an entire youtube channel for ignite with hundreds of videos that i won't force upon you right now okay maybe just one clip the first time we were here we didn't even notice the bar and then the second time we came i was like wow that's a beautiful marbled bar holy [ __ ] that's interesting i was hoping we'd get to see his 50 000 bed frame but no dice uh i i mean well i guess technically they're probably dice in his home he does he does like the gamble anyway back to the lawsuit it's becoming clear that dan's days in the cbd slash bikini slash pheromone business are coming to a close an independent auditor said that the company's failure is imminent and this report from tmz lists a bunch of the things that dan spent money on including a sixty thousand dollar star wars set whatever that is the famous fifty thousand dollar bed frame forty thousand dollar rock wall 15k on a 15k on a ping pong table and a 88 thousand dollar vault now you may think that sixty thousand dollars on a star wars gun set is a lot or you may have no idea what it is like i do but imagine how much money you save when you're not the one paying for it uh also what else are you going to put in your 88 000 vault stacks of money who has those now dan bilzerian hasn't spoken publicly about the spending but rumor has it that he named the company ignite because he wanted it to revolutionize the industry of setting money on fire also in dan's defense the 40 000 rock climbing wall is a necessary business expense if you consider that it offers respite for those looking to plan their escape from dan bilzerian some of you are probably like this isn't the dan i know he's a business genius he said he would run a tight ship and he did uh that ship is the titanic unfortunately but he stuck to his work and i'm sure by now it's not surprising that they took in coronavirus aid money and tried to characterize it as income on their books you know like law abiding citizens do i personally find this really hard to believe from a man who's committed his life to authenticity irritates me like when people say that i'm not authentic because i take like great pride in like you know being 100 honest about everything they also paid 26 000 to boost dan bilzerian's instagram following to which i'm like do you not have enough followers already dan could just send some my way at jarvis on instagram and twitter always be plugging then i realized they're probably referring to the ignite instagram business pages that have hundreds of thousands of followers and basically no engagement whatsoever and let's jump back to that 65 million dollar mansion that dan wants you to think he owns the article states that the former president of ignite came to dan bill's area and it was like hey coronavirus remember you probably don't need a 200 000 a month mansion and then dan bilzerian was like but i want to host summer pool parties anyway as of right now dan bilzerian is pretending coronavirus doesn't exist i mean honestly my life hasn't changed a [ __ ] bit traveling the world uh well he's traveling to the countries that americans can travel to right now so he's in croatia in conclusion dan bilzerian is the poster child for uh don't believe what you see on social media but hey he's not all bad here are 10 women who don't regret partying with him they could only find 10. if you're following dan bilzerian if you're a fan of his stuff it i i have a problem with you so much as him being like dishonest about his life i just think it's important to remember that on social media you're gonna see a lot of aspirational content and the realities of it are probably not as you know uh as good as they seem everything that glitters ain't gold you know but only shooting shooting stars can break the mold came up without it myself living the life of dan bilzerian uh is is probably not a goal worth pursuing because even dan bilzerian isn't living the life of dan bilzerian you know you should look at dan bilzerian's instagram where he's like hanging out with hot babes on a yacht the same way you look at scrooge mcduck diving into a a sea of gold coins ain't gonna happen my guy unless you can figure out how to turn into a cartoon duck thanks to anna maria anastova from bulgaria because we're talking about bulgarian zeppo snacks thanks to you for sending me a message on instagram i have no idea if i'm saying that right if you want me to butcher your name do what anna did also listen to my podcast i've linked it and i need to promote it more so this is me doing that

Channel: Jarvis Johnson

Views: 3,188,114

Rating: 4.743751 out of 5

Keywords: jarvis, jarvis johnson, comedy

Id: lkmxQwbHybw

Length: 24min 5sec (1445 seconds)

Published: Thu Jul 30 2020