Love Is Blind: The Dumbest Dating Show Of All Time

this video is sponsored by Squarespace see mom I'm a real YouTube I've met the person I want to spend the rest of my life with I've never seen her before [Music] don't use my to fish every day that you spend together it's been a blessing I got a neuroscience girl yeah called her the brain her body's looking right but our head is insane I've been sick this week so that's been great to celebrate I had no choice but to binge Netflix's new marriage game show love is blind love is blind not to be confused with a blind man's love is a show where people get engaged for marriage to someone they have never seen if I fall in love and get engaged it will be with someone I've never seen it's crazy which could be cool you know let people meet each other without seeing each other and let them date and then after that I don't know follow them while they're dating normally and document the experience nope they've got to get engaged in 10 days or less so that's insane the show has gotten a lot of comparisons to the bachelor which for those unfamiliar is a show where 30 women compete for Instagram followers and one unlucky lady has to get engaged usually this time of year I would I would talk about The Bachelor which is just wrapping up right now but this season is bad and not fun to watch so I'm just gonna cut my losses and talk about this The Bachelor for contrast films over ten weeks leading to an engagement to which love is blind was like holding my metallic wine glass will do it in 10 days love is blind is the top showing Netflix right now and I mean this why wouldn't it be it features people falling in love people processing difficult issues that plague all of our relationships though isn't my tooth that would really bother and last but not least people proposing to a pulsating blue wall will you marry me just a it's just a blue wall the show is hosted by is that Nick Lachey I'm obviously Nick Lachey okay I guess the show is hosted by Nick Lachey and his wife Vanessa Lachey but that's easy to forget because they're on screen for like three minutes total throughout the entire series I'm obviously Nick Lachey what do you mean obviously Nick you were in a boy band in 1998 is that why they were called 98° your other claim to fame is a TV show that you had with a different wife so these are clearly our marriage experts also our marriage gurus regularly refer to the show as the experi this literally is the first time an experiment like this has ever been done in fact the show bends over backwards to mention that these couples are getting engaged without ever seeing each other a lot will you say I do to the person that you've chosen right here sight unseen so a couple things I guess the experiment is supposed to test whether love is blind but like actual blind people and arranged marriages exist so like yeah obviously and even if love is blind you're also rushing the process the show we've been called love is Swift the hosts make some pretty big claims about the experiment despite the fact that I don't know they aren't scientists we all have to remember the central question is love truly blind this isn't a scientific experiment there's no control group there's no group of people getting engaged after dating each other in pods where they can actually see each other what are your independent variables what are your dependent variables Nick Lachey if your hypothesis is that love is blind that's fine but it's backed up by no sighted information in the show itself they just say random [ __ ] with total Authority and don't back it up at all this wouldn't stand up to peer review the scientific method is quaking this show feels like if somebody read the title of an article about attraction and then stopped there so my understanding of the show is that 30 assorted guys and girls are separated and forced to live in a big hotel room well they call it a living quarters like they're at war and they spend their days going on blind dates in a room called the pod which they try to make a normal term throughout the entirety of the show and it never works the pods makes me laugh every time once everyone is all settled in our esteemed marriage scientists kick off the show at the holier-than-thou monologue about what's wrong with today's society and how it focuses too much on in physical appearance which are big words for two people who have lifelong careers in television and a show that features its most conventionally attractive people it was short and there are women out there that won't date guys that are shorter poor Wesley who are we gonna do the contestants that actually get screen time I wanted to throw up a little spoiler alert because obviously also I know I'm roasting these people for their actions on the show but it's all in good fun I think everyone sees this as a big growth opportunity and I had a lot of fun watching the show and you would too with that out of the way on to the people that applied to be on the show on purpose first off we have Cameron a data scientist working in artificial intelligence who does a really bad job of convincing me that he's not a robot AI himself yeah basically taken over the world he was born inside of the pot and it's all he's ever known I always hear you don't look like a scientist oh yeah you do he gets together with Lauren the most well-adjusted person on the show and also the only person who could pull off giant hoop earrings with our last name on them together they become the couple the audience is rooting for most after getting engaged halfway through the first episode will you've married me they are perfect together and have absolutely no problems until we find out that Cameron was in a rap group in college and shows off his rapping skills for Lauren's mom which prompts her to kick him out just kidding she loves it I'm feeling like a kid with you you're my main stick those other girls in previews what could I say he spit hot fire as his programmers intended the show is notable for addressing a lot of topics that are usually absent from reality TV or television in general for that matter a great example of this is how they handle interracial dating with Lauren and Cameron their handling of this is mostly good - Cameron's rapping which someone should have stopped him I drop like Nascar big sassy face zoom Donnell character who invites a more nuanced discussion though is Carlton a 34 year old social media marketer who essentially comes out as bisexual on the show in a moment of vulnerability that I find quite brave to be honest at one point in my young life I found myself attracted to just hearts periods where it gets complicated though is Carlton's on-screen persona oscillates between sensitive soft boy who just wants to be accepted for who he is now ready for focus on what matters it's more about what's on the inside if that heart is beautiful if your soul speaks to my soul and mr. misogyny you made daddy feel good also he wears a hat that says daddy and makes me uncomfortable I hate you and I says do not touch the problem with our relationship is that I want to get my wife I had it says Carlton's [ __ ] we've also got amber who's a real pretty girl just one of the guys y'all a lot of people don't take me seriously because I ain't ugly she's an ex tank mechanic and often reminds us that she can cause us physical harm I would break her face then there's Kelly and Kenny who featured prominently in the show but not in this video because they're kind of boring next up is Giannina whose full name is Giannina milady milady she gets with Damien who doesn't have a personality anyway they have the world's wackiest proposal when you open the box what do you see empty besides my brother in my family you have now become the most important thing in my life and I cannot put you in that box so I took the bow off the box and I'd put the bow my right hand because today I don't just give you a piece of me I give you all of me I am your gift all of your gift their relationship continues to be just as weird and intense wrapping things up here there's Barnett the southern engineer slash frat boy type who causes drama between Jessica and amber because he just can't make up his mind like whoever I saw last is my number one last but not least the show notably doesn't have any villains but it does have mess and mess thy name is Jessica mark is very emotionally available to me it's a bit of a red flag Jessica is like if a spilled wine glass were a person she's 34 and works in tech or something and balance is a flirty baby voice with a much deeper one last night she's the source of most of the show's drama due to her rocky relationship with Mark who is a normal and totally fine 24 year old man I forgot to mention him up to this point because his entire presence on the show is like in reference to Jessica and how poorly she treats him I feel bad for him so at the start of the show everyone is just datin and the pods and drinking all day every day I think they're allowed to choose who they date but I'm not sure because the rules of the game are loose at best and barely communicated to the audience and then they're off to the races because somehow even in a show that expedites marriage Cameron and Lauren come in with a blazing fast engagement speed of three days I don't need to do any more searching I'm ready to propose so Lauren we're still in the first episode man come on our net is balancing Jessica and amber and another girl named Elsie who all think they have unique connections with his basic man they've known for like 45 minutes jessica is also dating mark and is kind of into him kind of but then Jessica says that Barnett said that he would marry her and she drops mark like a load of bricks that's five foot eight mark doesn't take it well obviously what the fog and Jessica doesn't help because she is not empathetic to his feelings so don't worry because she's a hypocrite the next morning Jessica tries to confirm with Barnett if he really wanted to get married to her and when he's not sure I don't know she flips the [ __ ] out by the way it's day four I don't support people like you Jessica can't believe that Barnet would say that he wanted to marry her and then take it back the next day like who would do that like I can definitely see us walking out of here together but here's the thing that's not what he said if this place had nobody no other guys and no other girls like I would propose to you tomorrow there were no other guys and no other girls then I would marry you tomorrow what he's basically saying is if you were the last person on earth I'd consider it and Jessica is like you [ __ ] monster don't worry cuz this toxic major is a - disappointed with the barnett situation she returns to mark to claim her consolation prize his love his consolation I really hope that I didn't mess it up a smart why that's a poor mark it's also worth noting that Jessica keeps bringing up age difference as an issue between her and Mark you're ten years younger than I have but barnett is three years older than mark like jessica is still there's still a seven-year age difference meanwhile Carleton proposes to diamond a former dancer for the Atlanta Hawks the show calls her a basketball dancer which is just a weird phrase to me so I wanted to show diamonds in respect you make me feel like I won't have to hide he says that but he's he's hiding a giant secret I have a big secret I'm not here to rush you to share your identity with your partner but I am here to say maybe hold off on engagement until you've had that conversation right that's not you know you don't owe that to anyone unless you're married I also have to mention that whenever someone's gonna propose they they shoot this weird b-roll shot in the hallway that's in like slow motion and super desaturated and it looks insane anyway after much deliberation barnett chooses amber and there's another eerie proposal montage and there you have it all our major couples are engaged also congrats to Kelly and Kenny for getting engaged I'm sorry you're so boring once a couple decides that they want to get engaged which to my understanding is the only way to escape the pods to visit the outside they get to see each other in person for the first time and it's very cute some notables include perfect couple Lauren and a robot fiance cam bought three thousand and Amber who has a funny walk and all the engaged couples are shipped to Mexico to explore not being separated by a wall or as married scientists Nick Lachey puts it be physical realities of the material world the physical realities of the material here the couples get down to brass tacks and start planning their weddings in the case of Cameron and Lauren or in the case of Carlton and diamond were relationships crash and burn you better be happy you pretty teen egging her no not the Daddy hat so their breakup is actually really tragic and and touching but what took me out of it was that when Carlton and diamond to exit the show they play a sad montage but it's just the clips from the past week we were so young after a few days in paradise or hours or seconds it's really hard to tell with the show the surprise for couples with a mini reunion slash cocktail party where it's clear that Jessica is not over Barnett and doesn't like her fiance mark at all I might not be as excited as also the guys and girls start talking about who's had sex and who hasn't and in what may be his only interesting moment in the entire show Kenny lies to the boys I don't kiss and tell I did not and could not go for a run this morning and I just point something out why in that clip is Damien just like I'll do declare oh and dad have I mentioned that Jessica's not over Barnett's you have feelings for someone so strongly that you want to tell them you'll marry them and within 12 hours to retract it yeah Jessica who would do that honestly Jessica could be on both sides of this argument obviously it's like since day one I've been like Marc Marc Marc Marc I think Barnett is someone I could spend the rest of my life with so there's a lot of drinking in this show and in a lot of these reality shows but Jessica drinks the most she seems aware of it in the reunion episode but she's so mean to Marc like she will pick a fight with him over absolutely nothing hey speaking of weird arguments gee Anita and Damien they're still on the show have them regularly I don't understand it's an escape what do you need to escape from work anything else I mean drama you sound really worried what do you mean a vacation is an escape what are you escaping from Damien anyway Jessica continues to be hung up on Burnett for the entirety of the show Jessica and Burnett are in the same room she will find him and talk to him I adore him we are bonded for life she's talking about Barnet and no one can figure out what's wrong with Mark I know she's dated taller guys before and Marcus is shorter I don't know I really don't know what is throwing her off the only problem with Mark is that Jessica doesn't like him and will not do in the favor of sharing that information I'm stubborn and bar nut bar not he is bar not interested at all after vacation Nick and Vanessa Lachey forced the couples to move into an apartment complex together and they make a bunch of huge claims about relationships and if you make it through these tests I promise your marriage is gonna move forward on extremely solid ground are you so confident is this an experiment or not what's that I can't see you just kidding I was covering my eyes as a joke because love may be blind but what isn't blind is my love for Squarespace nice from websites and online stores to marketing tools and analytics Squarespace is an all-in-one platform to build a beautiful online presence without knowing how to code how do I know I've got a giant computer science degree and that means I know stuff I've been a very happy user of Squarespace for the past few years and you can be - just check out Squarespace calm for a free trial and when you're ready to launch head on over to Squarespace calm slash jarvis Johnson that's my name for 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain thanks Squarespace now if you'll excuse me I've got to get back - love is blind we find out that amber has bad credit and it's definitely because of her credit card that she uses for makeup and definitely not her outstanding student loans that she doesn't make payments on have an average credit score because I've only got one credit card it's my make up credit card then there's my student minimum at least or no mark who at this point is a five-time gold medalist in the emotional labor Olympics has not given up on Jessica you see the main conflict in their relationship is that Jessica liked mark before she saw him in person there's just not a wall between us anyone so he plans this absurd date where they eat dinner in different rooms and it's weird strangely this also happens with Janine and Damion who have an argument in different rooms and make more progress in their relationship and they had previously but this doesn't help in marks case because Jessica continues to pick fights with him over absolutely nothing we have a kid and two trains are approaching traveling one from New York Archivist 15 your parents are 100 how many apples do I have in my pocket I'm sorry I should probably move on but all I want to do is talk about the stupid fights that Jessica picks with Mark there's another one where Jessica who is shockingly too drunk says that G Anita is the best person and then Mark in a very cute way is like oh she's a close second implying to you Jessica who is the best person I was kind of a compliment and then Jessica takes a huge offense you'd say somebody's a close second it starts [ __ ] all over mark you're a close second baby oh is that I think Barnett is [ __ ] sexy and like hot and like actually you're close second [ __ ] so if you can imagine that doesn't sit well with Mark but he handles it well because he's a saint for mark baby baby man finally it's time to meet the parents which is hilarious because they're like you got engaged after a week the hell is wrong with you we meet Barnett's family who amber scares the parents they seemed a little uncomfortable maybe shell-shocked is a good word for it Barnett's brother hates marriage so much it seems like a personal problem marriage is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life but what I'm trying to say is that you start out in a in a lust mode you you have a spark but after 10 years of marriage things get real what are you gonna do after 10 years when things get real because that is what marriage gets hard and that is when you hate your wife and that is when she nags you about taking out the garbage and you're like [ __ ] I will take out the garbage after the game and she was like the game was supposed to win an hour ago and I said I know but it went into overtime and then she goes outside and she dents or f-150 what are you gonna do then who else has family stuff worth mentioning Marc's friends are like don't get married man what are you doing I don't think you've put much thought into any of it and after a season of complaining about Marc's age and how the world is going to view them jessica talks to our friends about dating a guy who's 24 and they're like oh yeah that's fine you mean this whole time I was making a problem out of nothing Arnett and Jessica meet up again to clear the air because Barnett thinks that Jessica may still have feelings for him I can't imagine why that's definitely an attractive guy this is someone that I created a bond with that I'll never will never be matched by any other bond oh hi mark you know what they say love this blind then they have bachelor bachelorette parties where amber gets real drunk and threatens to punch Jessica in the [ __ ] face if she goes after her then it's time for weddings but you're kind of boring actually I'm pretty sure they forced them to have a wedding even if they weren't planning to get married you know because suspense and so they do this whole rigmarole where they bring out the friends and family and they pick out a wedding dress and they hire an efficient to do some love is blind producer approved officiating now is the time to decide if fluff is truly blind it's cute when it works I guess but otherwise it's just weird Janine and Damien for example had a season of weird fights and like an on-and-off-again relationship where it doesn't seem like they're on the same page at all and after Ginny Anna says I do Damien looks like he's about to vomit and he says I don't know then lays into Giannina for the kind of partner she's been throughout this process which seems very inappropriate in front of friends and family this is not a conversation to have in public and then after G Anita slips and slides away both ways down Peachtree Street she makes her way back Dameon and like poetically rips up her wedding dress and ties it into a bow to call back to Damien's weird-ass proposal are them your gift they're too dramatic but in the reunion they're back together so what the [ __ ] do I know Kelly and Kenny don't get married I'm only mentioning them so that I had three things in this list I'm sorry they're just so boring finally we have mark and Jessica they don't get married duh but mark says I do because poor mark and Jessica smiles before she turns him down like what sort of sick [ __ ] is this and I guess that's the show they have a reunion and the reunions budget was a dollar and the reunion takes place a year and a half after the show because I guess Netflix has been sitting on the show since 2018 those bastards in that time amber dyed her hair blonde to be closer to Jessica and they moved because their house was haunted our house was haunted yells not a fan house was haunted y'all in that time Jessica took a hard look in the mirror and realized that she may have had a touch too much to drink on the show jessica has read on our comments and wants us to know that yes mark is attractive just not to her and she never lied I was always honest except for tomorrow I get a lot of hate for that you may have thought that after a drunken bachelorette party amber and Jessica had squashed their beef about Barnette but in the reunion we see that over the past year and a half her rage has aged like a fine wine dear sheisty you're so fake in the end when asked if love can truly be blind everyone raises their hand presumably to maintain a good relationship with the producers and that's the show oh and lauren tries to make the term fur baby a thing we have a fur baby no thanks to Despina Griese that's fun or sending me a message on Instagram I have no idea if I'm saying that right if you want me to picture your name [Music] do the stuff on the internet you know where it is in the closet you never check

Channel: Jarvis Johnson

Views: 1,564,310

Rating: 4.9662299 out of 5

Keywords: jarvis, jarvis johnson, comedy

Id: akhIcBebVyo

Length: 23min 38sec (1418 seconds)

Published: Fri Mar 13 2020