- Hey, internet, it's me. I hope you're having a good day. Mine's been weird. Today we're talking about YouTube drama, but not in the way you'd think, unless you read the title of the video, then yeah, it's exactly what you think. - I can't live without breast milk. - So my history with animated
story channels is no mystery. My history is no mystery. That rhymes, my history is not a mystery, it's meant to be eventually, is it obvious I've been watching Hamilton? I've made a bunch of videos about these animated story channels and how dumb they are. Frankly, I am trying not to make them, but weird (beep) keeps happening. And I'm not the only one
talking about these channels. They've been a laughing stock
on YouTube for a minute now, but much like NSYNC's hit single, ♪ They're sick and tired of hearing ♪ ♪ All these people talk about them. ♪ A few weeks ago it actually happened, which was the biggest of these channels disappeared without a trace. And I made a video about that in a character that everyone hated. (music starts) And then "My Story Animated," who is now the de facto king of sensationalist animated
stories by children, started beefing with
this YouTuber named Jay, who made a reaction video
about one of their videos. All this guy did was make a reaction video to one of their videos, where he wasn't even
(beep) on it like I do. And they told him to take it down and threatened his channel if he didn't. - We sent him a message on YouTube asking him to remove one video, but he never responded, so we
decided to send him an email, but he also never responded. We felt like we don't
exist in this guy's world, and that he is above us or something. - First of all, I know that I'm a "Professional YouTuber," I guess, I don't know how to
check my YouTube messages. I don't know how to check
my YouTube messages. - All are comparing themselves
to "Game of Thrones" and "Death Note" and "Avatar." - Let's see him reacting to
any other animated TV show like "Death Note" or
"Avatar: The Last Airbender." - Which they're clearly on
the same artistic level. For that whole sage, I'll linked to his video, but the messages from "My Story Animated"
feel like they were written by an eighth grader. To all the fans of the YouTuber that we asked him to remove our videos, he never asked us for permission
to react to our videos and he just did it. Let's see him reacting to
any other animated TV show like "Death Note" or
"Avatar: The Last Airbender." His channel will be deleted
in like five seconds. Do they not know about
the commentary community and how "Avatar: The last Airbender" is one of the most video
essayed about things on YouTube? And then they deleted this
rambly ass message because, "It was too long and
no one was reading it," which is not true. And then post it a shorter
statement where they said, "We hold the right to deny
anyone from using our videos. We have the same rights to our work as any big studio or franchise. Why is it so hard to
understand that YouTube artists also have some degree of control over the videos they
work so hard to produce?" No one has told them about
fair use, apparently. You're this big studio on the
level of "Game of Thrones" and "Avatar: The Last Airbender." And this is your output? - [Narrator] I stood next to
a dumpster to catch my breath. There was a kitten that was nibbling on a half eaten McDonald's meal that had been thrown away. I tried to act like a cat so that it would think
that I was a cat too, but the cat wasn't as stupid as I was. (audience applauding) - Also, they can't seem
to decide whether or not they're the little guy being bullied or this massive studio
that commands respect. Not to mention they
contradicted themselves because in the past they said, "You don't need our
approval to make videos". - We get many requests from YouTubers that wanna make reaction
videos to our stories. You don't need our approval to do them. We'll allow any YouTube
to make them freely. We also love to watch them. - So clearly, this company is super cool, not to mention professional
and definitely not childish. My assumption for why they
changed their position is that the animated story game ain't like what it used to be. The big players are dropping like flies. The views are dropping like flies. It's a lot like flies. And I think that these
channels are just paranoid and like clinging on to dear life. But my beef isn't with "My Story Animated" in this video at least. My beef is with an up and coming channel with a penchant for what psychologists would call gross-ass content. The channel is called "True Stories" because of course, it is. And they claim to create animated stories for mature audiences intended
to promote critical thinking and moral reasoning. I talked about them for like 10 seconds of the video that I did
with my girlfriends, Sadie, because they made a video called
"My Mother Loves My Cream." - My mom loves my (beep) (laughs) - What! - My mom loves my (beep) - Stop saying it. - You shouldn't watch, it's a bad video. - Probably thinking the
title is just clickbait. Nope, my mom really does love my (beep). - Yes, the cream is what you think it is, and his mom puts it on her face and it's good for her skin. It's gross, but you know what? Promotes critical thinking. I need to take some responsibility
for the monster I created because I believe doubt
cream in that video because I thought it was nasty, but it prompted people to
go search up their video, and so it got a lot of views. And I think that this channel
saw this and was like, this guy will be our source of attention, or maybe they are just sticking up for cream advocates everywhere. Because of this weekend,
it came to my attention that they made a video about me. The video in question is
called "I'm A Breastfed Adult." The thumbnail features a familiar haircut, though, they're not that familiar anymore. And if that's not enough to convince you, the guy kind of looks like me. Wearing a shirt that
says "Breast is best." And his name is Jarvis. - Hey, I'm Jarvis. - Presumably, they made this video so they could call me a little (beep) boy who loves breast milk as an adult. And it's a gross story
that I have not watched. Other people have watched it for me and have confirmed that
it's nasty as hell. I tweeted about this and a
surprising amount of people engaged with it, always be plugging. I figured I had two options, watch the video and make content about it, or not do that because it's
exactly what they want. Here's the deal, I'll make the video, I'm gonna watch it and
we're gonna react to it and it's gonna be weird. As long as you don't support this channel because while some
people think it's parody and some people think
that I made the channel, neither of these things are true. Their video speech or all
the sensational gross shit that all these other channels do. And also don't have any commentary
or critique to speak of. So even if it was parody,
if you make parody and no one knows it's parody,
then you didn't make parody. I dated my dad, I accidentally
got pregnant at 14, my teacher took advantage of me, come on, don't support
them is what I'm saying. And if they copyright strike me, then we'll put fair use to the test. All right, so now that
that's all cleared up. Let's watch this factual
documentary about my life. - Hey, I'm Jarvis, and I can't
live without breast milk. - All right, so first off you, second of all, they've done me no favors in the looks department. You could have given me a full
beard, instead of whatever, is that what my facial hair looks like? Is that what they think I wear? I wouldn't be caught dead
wearing something like this. - I still remember
waking up in the mornings and excitedly running into mom's room. I'd climb up onto her bed
saying, "Boobie, mommy, boobie." - All right, who leaked these
details to "True Stories?" - [Jarvis] I loved my mommy's milk, but after my younger brother
was born, it changed slightly. - It is, that does kind of look like me. - And I drink primarily
from the left side, every so often, I'd try the other side and
tell mom it tasted different. - The fact that someone wrote
this story is bananas to me 'cause everyone knows that
the left and the right boob have different flavor profiles. - It was like one side was banana flavor and the other side was chocolate. - I'm not completely convinced that my mom's boobs were
Danimals, like flavored, like what the (beep) is this? - [Jarvis] I actually got into a fight with my brother over that. He said his side tasted
better, but I knew mine did. Mom had to settle it by drawing a line down the middle of her chest. - They never showed up the mom's face, I guess out of respect for my own mother, wouldn't want a dox anybody. - [Jarvis] ne night,
we were tandem nursing while mom was reading us a bedtime story. - Also, not to poke
any plot holes in this, but I wasn't actually
raised with my brother. So he would have no idea. He would have no idea what
the right boob tasted like. - [Jarvis] When I pointed
out to one of the pictures and when to say something, only I forgot I was still
drinking and accidentally bit her. "Ouch!" She cried. She patted my head and said,
"You're a big boy now, Jarvis, you don't really need
mommy's milk anymore." - Jarvis? It's not about me after all. - [Jarvis] "You're a big boy now, Jarvis." - That's the legal loophole
that it prevents this from being a slander. We weren't talking about Jarvis. - She reminded me that I was going to be
starting school soon and asked if I was ready
to stop breastfeeding. I shook my head with
tears forming and cried. "No, mommy, I love booby." - No, mommy! (laughing) No mommy, I love booby. I feel bad for the roommate
of whatever voice actor was recording this in a pandemic. No, mommy, I love booby. Jacob, are you okay in there? - [Jarvis] I remember
getting really worried in the lead up to starting school. I kept thinking that my brother
would drink all mommy's milk while I was gone during the day. And there'd be no booby
left for me when I got home. - Oh God, this is so gross. All right, so then it's time
for me to enroll in school. So I'm about five or six
and I'm still breastfeeding, which to each their own. - [Jarvis] But my first
day, just before lunch, mom turned up at the classroom with my brother and his stroller. - You know how moms inter
classrooms from the back? - [Jarvis] She pointed to me and said, "I'm his mom, I'm here for lunch." - No. - [Jarvis] The teacher
nodded as mom walked in, sat down and untucked her shirt, I ran. - In the classroom? I'm not trying to shame
public breastfeeding here, this would also be weird if mom came to class on
the first day of school to feed me a sandwich, it's
just, why are you disrupting? Why are you disrupting class mom? I've got a reputation to uphold. Can you leave? You're the only adult here,
you're the only parent, could you wait for lunchtime? - [Jarvis] I ran over
and jumped up on her lap and started drinking. - See what was really awkward
about this time is that like, it was so embarrassing to have to drink mommy's booby during class. This is so fake. It must have been so
awkward for the other kids who were just trying to learn to count while I was in the
corner getting breastfed. - [Jarvis] I was so happy,
I'll never forget that day. - Is my mom 90 feet tall? Look how big she is inside of this desk. I know it's for kids, but like, come on. - [Jarvis] As I got older, mom kept offering me cow's milk in a cup, but I refuse to drink it. It tasted like poison to me. - Get that (beep) away from me, cows milk? Breast milk. - [Jarvis] The only milk I drink was hers. So continued to nurse me
all through middle school. The staff were pretty supportive and even gave us a private room to use. - Pretty supportive? It looks like you made this sign yourself. - Of course, I drink it
from a glass by then. - Of course, you eventually
got to transition to drinking mommy's milk from a glass. We're in middle school now,
we've got to have some class, pinky's up. - I wasn't sure what I do
when I went to college. Thankfully, my older sister,
Amanda, came to the rescue. - Oh no. - [Jarvis] Just before I finished school, she had a baby with her husband and offered to pump milk for me. Amanda was the best. - Ugh, why did she wink? Now my sister's getting involved? They're really going at
my whole fictional family. - [Jarvis] Once a week, I'd
stopped by Amanda's place and pick up the bags of milk she pumped and kept in the freezer for me. - Not a medical expert or anything, but as I understand it, it's difficult to produce
breast milk for women, so it's a little unsettling, not only is Jarvis here addicted to it, but he's also siphoning breast milk from every woman in his life. - [Jarvis] It was a
bit different at first. - It seems weird that everyone's bending over backwards to fill
my breast milk habit. And I'm forever grateful
for their sacrifice. - [Jarvis] My sister's
milk was a little thicker and tasted a bit sweeter than moms. - Hold on, is he's swishing
the milk around in his mouth like a breast milk Somalia hey? - [Jarvis] It was so good. - This video spends much
time giving flavor notes on breast milk, I'm not a fan, frankly. - I was in my final year of college when I decided to tell my
long-term girlfriend, Janell, - It's a pretty threatening
way to ask your girlfriend. Janell, I need your breast milk. Is he about to, is this a threat? - I plan to get married after graduation and had already discussed having kids. - It looks like, he's doing
boy band choreography. - I knew she was keen on breastfeeding and aware of the benefits. - The benefits? Not anywhere have they
even listed the benefits of breastfeeding for
babies, let alone adult men. - She was making coffee one afternoon and she poured milk into her cup. I casually said, I don't understand how people can drink
milk from another species especially cows that
stand in their own poo or covered in flies and
pumped full of steroids. - So then there's more
anti-dairy propaganda. - I'm not a calf, I'm a human. - Was this video paid for by a cow? It's awkward 'cause this looks like one
of my video thumbnails. This is my girlfriend, Janell, apparently. - And I then went on to
tell her how I actually hadn't ever stopped drinking breast milk. "Isn't that a bit weird?" She asked. No, it's biologically normal. - No, it's not. - No, it's biologically normal. - For babies, it's
biologically normal for babies. - It only seems weird to some people because they've grown up in a culture. - I like how he's mansplaining
breast milk to Janell. All right, let me tell you why I'm entitled to your breast milk. - It only seems weird to some people because they've grown up in a culture where marketing has sexualized breasts by using them to sell cars and clothes. - Oh! Breast milk would be normal if it weren't for car commercials? See, you think I'm disgusting because of the (beep) culture you're from. But in reality, I should get
to drink your breast milk because I love booby. - People forget that breasts
are there to provide food. - For babies. - I asked if she'd let me drink her milk after we had a baby, she
didn't have any objections. - She didn't have any objections? Come on, Janell, have some self-respect. - The following year when
little Tyson was born, my wife took over from my sister and started breastfeeding me too. - Remind her to never name my child Tyson. What kind of name is Tyson Johnson? That's two sons, but that's
too many sons for my son. I just want one son, and
that's Johnson, Papa bless. - [Jarvis] The three of us are so close. And Tyson is growing strong
and healthy just like me. - That was nice of them to
call me strong and healthy. - [Jarvis] After all, breast
milk is the perfect food for growing humans. - For babies, they keep
leaving that part out, it's for babies. Breast milk is for babies. Is this an ad for breast milk? It seems like propaganda, to be honest. - [Jarvis] Breast milk is the perfect food for growing humans nutritionally, immunologically, and psychologically. - Alright buddy, I'm gonna need you to cite your sources on that one. It's a shame they had to
use so much fake science to paint me as a booby boy. I don't know if you
could trust his opinion 'cause clearly, he's lost
all motor control it, 'cause he's drunk off that booby. You know when you're out with your friends and then that one
friend, you know the one, gets too drunk on breast milk
and you have to take him home, somebody better check on Jarvis 'cause he's, oh, he's gone, and
that's the end of the video. I'm not sure who runs this channel, but I'm pretty sure it's not me. This channel's definitely
doing this for attention, and on that metric, I have failed. But it was just so absurd that I felt like I had to share it. I tried really hard to figure out if this channel was a parody and it doesn't seem like it is. It's probably just the
real thing unfortunately. I'm gonna leave some
resources in the description. If you wanna learn more
about breastfeeding because this video is
not a factual resource, and I also am gonna make a limited run of trying my breast shirts on my merch store jarvis.clothing, link in the description, where I'm gonna donate all the proceeds to Breast Cancer Research. Because I figure if I'm
talking about this nonsense, we may as well make some good out of it. Use promo code booby for 10% off. Thanks to Koko and her sister Ehi, for sending me a message on Instagram. I have no idea if I'm saying that right, if you want me to butcher your name, then send me a message on the internet. I won't tell you where. Also, I just wanna remind
you that I have a podcast called "Sad Boys" which is a
comedy podcast about feelings. And we just did a live episode
on Twitch and that was fun. So we're gonna do more of that, check that out at twitch.tv/sadboyspod, or subscribe to "Sad Boys" where podcasts are sold for free. Come hang out, I wanna do more content. So let's go do some
more content, everybody. - People were telling me that all a Popsicle has to be
is something cold on a stick. - That feels wrong. - I'm gonna handle this, I got to change my background
to a pair of new balances. - A push pop is not frozen juice, it is ice cream on a plastic stick. Is that a Popsicle? - I wouldn't actually call it a Popsicle, even when I was a kid. - But what does Popsicle stand for? Push Pop. - But sickle, 'cause
sickle, it's a portmanteau, it comes from icicle, I imagine. - Is that true? - Where would the sickle and
Popsicle come from, right? - Cyclical nature of our
lives and eating popsicles being the one nostalgic thing we remember from our childhood.
This is the real YT drama I want to hear about
This thumbnail is the tamest this awful channel has to offer. This stuff is not safe for anywhere.
Damn this has to be one of the weirded videos I’ve seen someone react to
The new PewDiePie Vs T-Series
I found Jarvis' channel through this video, so despite how cringey this story was, I'm grateful for it. It also was interesting for me - read: a pleasant surprise - as a software developer that after binging a bunch of his videos, I found the 'every software interview ever' sketch, which made me laugh out loud multiple times. Anyway, I love this content and thought I would join the conversation here. I'm fairly certain that part of the reason YouTube recommended Jarvis' stuff to me is because I'm also a big fan of SwellEntertainment (Amanda), and they both seem to have a similar way of being honest, funny, and taking the piss out of giant corporations.
On the subject of joining the conversation, I was wondering why I was so interested in these animated stories 'dissection' videos, and I realized that at least in my eyes/the content shown to me by the algorithm in the past 2 years, the trend of probably fake and questionably submitted stories being animated seemed to start with MinuteVideos. I would absentmindedly watch their content while cleaning my house until I ended up watching their "My friend told everyone that I don't support the LGBT" video and told YouTube to never recommend their videos to me again. In hindsight, that reaction may have been a bit rash, as they took down the video, but it was so bigoted and gross that at the time, I never wanted to watch another of their videos again. Their videos seem to be much better produced, and have some fairly realistic stories, but occasionally the stories would go off the rails.
Glad Jarvis took this one in stride, because it was super gross and weird. I feel like I would have also been cool if he was so grossed out that he didn't even joke about it at all.