The Ones With Ross' Divorces | Friends

you got married again yes so that's your second marriage in two years yes second in two years third overall Ross I have been a divorce attorney for 23 years and never have I had so much business from one client why don't you tell me what happened basically Rachel and I were in vag and we got drunk I I'm sorry is this the same Rachel whose name you said at the altar in the second marriage yes yes yes but I I do not love her oh that's better then this was just a drunken mistake and I I need to get it en olded I see have you considered therapy I think just the analment for today there are a couple of forms to fill out easy and we'll need to have witnesses who can testify that you were not of a sound mind no problem and we'll need you and Rachel to testify before a judge ooh there's no way to do this without her cuz I kind of already told her uh it was it was taken care of of course you did look Ross you can't get an analment unless you and Rachel are both there uh-huh what about someone who looks like Rachel I will think about the therapy hi this guy says hello I want to kill myself are you okay sweetie I just feel like someone reached down my throat grabbed my small intestine pulled it out of my mouth and tied it around my neck cookie Carol moved her stuff out today oh let me get you some coffee thanks no oh no no don't stop cleansing my aura don't just leave my aura alone okay I'll be fine all right really everyone I hope she'll be very happy no you don't no I don't to hell with her she left me and you never knew she was a lesbian no okay why does everyone keep fixating on that she didn't know how should I know sometimes I wish I was a lesbian did I say that out loud all right Ross look you're feeling a lot of pain right now you're angry you're hurting can I tell you what the answer is strip joints come on you're single have some hormon see but I don't want to be single okay I just I just I just want to be married again and I just want a million doll friends family are gathered to celebrate here today the joyous Union of Ross and Emily May the happiness we share with them today be with them always now Emily repeat off to me I Emily I Emily take the Ross take thee Ross as my lawfully wedded husband in sickness and in health till death BS us as my lawfully wedded husband in sickness and in health until death Parts us now Ross Fe after me I Ross I Ross Take the Emily take the Rachel [Applause] Emily Emily uh shall I go on that's it I cannot make this decision it is too difficult so I am just going to leave it entirely up to the god gods of Fate a magic eightball come on you can't be serious you can't make this decision with a toy oh it's not a toy well I don't know what else to do I mean I either keep my wife and lose one of my my best friends or I keep my friend and get divorced for the second time before I'm 30 so so if anyone else has has a better suggestion let's hear it because I I got nothing all right don't be shy any suggestion question will do okay then here we go magic eightball should I never see Rachel again ask again later later is not good enough ask again later what the hell this is broken it it is broken hey Emily's cousin kicked me out what why well when you're suing an apartment from your wife's cousin and then you get a divorce sometimes the cousin suddenly wants his apartment back how can you do that didn't you sign a lease who needs a lease when it's family hey you can stay with us we'll take care of absolutely anything you need man but you have to promise me you will let us know the second you are feeling better so that we can make fun of your hair yeah we got it okay thanks you guys I really appreciate this all right I'm going to get packing again man I've been moving around so much lately I'm beginning to feel like a nomad what he thought you said gonad jaylor um I want you to take just a minute and I want you to think about how ridiculous this sounds yeah I'm kind of wishing everyone wasn't here right now do you know that none of that stuff came from me I mean I never said that I wanted to have babies and get married right now yeah I know but I was really confused and then I talked to these guys who two divorces and Joey hey she's right you know yeah but still cheap shot yep we want to get married well there's a service in progress have a seat all right what are you doing oh that's the Wedding March does does that freak you out no only because it's the graduation song okay this is it we're going to get married are you sure you want to do [Applause] this hello Mrs R hello Mr Rachel okay hey hi thank you oh [Music] what are we going to talk about what you guys did last night or what mean last night nothing nothing uh nothing happened last night uhhuh Ross invited us to all to watch R we weren't going to miss our friends getting married who got married you did what we hello we didn't get married get married that's ridiculous wait wait wait wait I remember being in a chapel they they they would not let us get married when we were that drunk they let you get married when you're drunk most people getting married in Vegas are drunk now I'm drunk right now I can't have a mimosa with breakfast I'm on vacation what are you guys going to do oh I guess we just find a divorce lawyer well I think I think Ross already has one now this one's free right because you paid for the first two so you get the third one for free laugh it up but the joke's on you because we don't need to get divorced okay we we're just going to get an analment an analment Ross I don't think surgery is the answer here oh oh that's your thing what you're thing you're thinging you know that you're the guy who gets divorced that's not my thing I do not love getting divorced yes you do this is your third divorce you love divorce so much you're probably going to marry it and then and and then it won't work out so you're gonna have to divorce it divorcing guy I'm so drunk hey you guys guess what Barry and Mindy are getting a divorce oh my God what is the matter with you no Barry and Mindy oh sorry I hear divorce I immediately go to Ross who who's Barry and Mindy Barry was the guy that I almost married and Mindy was my best friend oh oh wasn't he cheating on you with her yeah but that just means that he was falling asleep on top of her instead of me God can you imagine if I'd actually married him I mean how different would my life be I know what you mean I've always wondered how different my life would be if if I'd never gotten divorced which time the first time well seriously imagine if Carol hadn't realized she was a lesbian I can't I keep seeing it the good way I bet i' still be doing my karate towards the end of our marriage I was doing a lot of karate as a way of releasing the tension from you know not doing anything else physical maybe the problem was you were pronouncing It karate mom dad you remember that that time you walked in my room and smelled marijuana yes well I told you it was Chandler who was smoking the pot but it was me I'm sorry it was you and Dad you know that mailman that you got fired didn't steal your Playboys rosted yeah well Hurricane Gloria didn't break the porch swing Monica dead Ross hasn't worked at the museum for a year Monica and chlo are living together Ross married Rachel in Vegas and got divorced again that's a lot of information to get in 30 seconds all right Monica why you felt you had to hide the fact that you're in an important relationship is beyond me and we kind of figured about the porch swing Ross drugs divorced again what happened son I I uh I got tricked into all those things I'm not here that's just my Chinese food oh my God she has food delivered here M yes she's she's emotional but but ballsy you know what I'm going to do I'm going to get my sweats and eat this in bed and you thought you was going to be in our way so okay why don't you uh open the champagne and I will be right back I've got a surprise for you you got another ex-wife back there please start drinking wait up hi congratulations I didn't want to say anything in front of Joey cuz I didn't know if he knew you what that we had a baby let's give him a little credit although he did eat a piece of plastic fruit earlier no no that you and Rachel are engaged what oh it's a secret oh goody yes oh we haven't done the secret thing in a long time Phoebe there is no secret okay I didn't propose are you lying is this like that time you tried to convince us you were a doctor I am a doctor you know what I'm just going to go and and talk to Rachel myself all right me too should we wake her up no no come on let her sleep she's so exhausted and so engaged dum dum dum oh my God she she thinks we're engaged why why why would she think we're engaged perhaps because you gave her an engagement ring you know Ross doctors are supposed to be smart I didn't give her that ring you didn't no so whose ring is it it's mine is it an engagement ring yes but you didn't give it to her no but you were going to propose no huh I might be losing interest in this look look my mom gave me that ring because she wanted me to propose to Rachel but all I wanted to do is see if she maybe kind of wanted to start things up again oh what beautiful lukewarm sentiment look I didn't want to rush into anything and it seemed like she didn't want to either but I don't I don't understand how how any of this happened what did she find the ring in my jacket assume I was going to propose throw it on and and just start telling people no no she said you actually proposed to her well I didn't I didn't propose unless I did I I haven't slept in 40 hours and it does sound like something I would do [Music]

Channel: Friends

Views: 420,962

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Id: 2h7LmhFVkps

Length: 16min 16sec (976 seconds)

Published: Sat Apr 20 2024