THE CHEESY BOI COMETH | Far Cry 5

didn't that dumbass teacher lady started talking about how ar15 should be banned so I told her to shut her coming mouth before hey this is private property you damn liberals love living in a standard ground state I'll tell you what cheeseburger god bless america spoiler alerts this is your spoiler alert so don't say that I didn't warn you far cry 5 you tuned in son of a [ __ ] the story of a low deputy trying to take down a crusading madman in his cults all the while surviving ravenous wildlife and enjoying the fresh mountain air of Big Sky Montana I really like this Montana wilderness I really can just connect with the outdoors and not worry about people and shuttle I was just talking to what why did you so this [ __ ] pastor by the name of Joseph seed has commandeered a giant chunk of Montana called Hope County with his religious cult followers and is completely cut it off from the outside world you know what that [ __ ] means it means the roads vol been closed means the phone lines been cut it means there's no signals getting an address valid but mostly it means we're all [ __ ] wait wait wait wait couldn't you just said that first why did you have to say all that other stuff do you want to do want to do that over again you know what that [ __ ] means it means we're all [ __ ] thank you for not wasting my time and it's up to you to crush this maniacs operation by offing three of his siblings and curb stopping anybody that's a member of his congregation called the project Eden's gates or as the locals call them Peggy's Peggy's formally you're supposed to achieve this by freeing local civilians destroying cult property liberating cult outposts and completing story missions all in an effort to build a resistance we need to build us up resistance what that actually means is you [ __ ] [ __ ] up until you become too big of a nuisance to ignore the cult kidnaps you the plot progresses then you fight your way out so that you can [ __ ] up even more [ __ ] and continue being the hard-charge and beer drinking truck drive and sinner that you are so I hear this goddamn Baba wants to ban flavor dips and unlike flavor fails Bannon in my United States like I need your dumbass tool tip Bannon flavor dips in my hair United States of America but before you can knock off this Bradley Cooper Johnny Depp looking passer you've got three of the siblings and corresponding regions to squash first with Jacob to the north John to the west faith to the east and you can do them in any order because they each play a different role but they all have the same goal souls do not harvest themselves actually I was gonna light this on fire but that's pretty sad advice huh here it is again Souls do not harvest themselves can't you read the sign there you go harvested I started with faith the Walter White of the operation because she produces mass amounts of this drug called bliss which I can only describe as hyper crack speed meth that makes you trip balls so the point where you can't tell if anything around you is real or just an illusion oh you thought that was a bear psyche sinner you thought it's actually a bison you think that's a junkie nope it's a dog is that a cougar narf it's a pronghorn I'm gonna take a gamble and say that you're not real you're made of black pixie dust or something so our survey says pixie dust there we go wanna be human not really whoa whoa Wolverine take take take easy did you just see that woman disappear at a dump I don't care so I gotta admit I didn't really like her character that much she was kind of just I was bullied once so that makes my drug addiction okay who had been ostracized by our community believe friends oh god this is not gonna be another bully hunters thing is it let me skip this let me [ __ ] squash she's probably the funniest sibling because some of these hallucinations in the bliss are just I don't know what the [ __ ] is going on man but I'm okay with it I don't I don't think I buy this I don't think he buys it walk the path oh [ __ ] he buys it you're dumb as a box of rocks you it was in her region that I learned the ins and outs of the wildlife which live-ins up the wilderness because there's always something running around that's either trying to eat you or drop you some high-quality luke cougar don't make me do this alright be technology yeah it's scary run away you big dumb cat oh it's a skunk I thought it was a raccoon I was like raccoons don't spray things that you like I can't even tell if I'm being poisoned or I'm tripping off this but it's much more than just lighting a bunch of bees and bears on fire because animal skins sell for so much cash it's like the game forces you to become a poacher I'm sorry buddy this hurts me more than it hurts you up really out of bullets I would not be doing it this way otherwise but these eight cogs are not cheap like I don't think you understand how well-trained just these bytes there we go thank you you can even use the meat from prey animals to lure out bigger predators that are the most valuable and I never thought I'd say this about a tool but this baiting technique is almost too good okay so what if I what if I throw it out right in front of the sign I guess he's gonna be right here oh [ __ ] that works I didn't think it would be that easy I thought it was like wait around for five minutes he's right here that's me neatly yeah let me try throwing it right near these grand nose to see if he'll ignore the bait and go for them no way no way Ubisoft you don't just spot a bear out of thin air of it come on buddy come on down buddy keep it rolling keep rolling down the hill this bait is so fair I don't think you understand such a fair technique of hunting wildlife clearly clearly badly [ __ ] Wolverine why are you here before you call me a bad person for exterminating wildlife to buy a bunch of fancy guns rest assured that I spent none of it on outfits because I use the castle skin from Rainbow six even though I'm white which I guess in a weird way would make me into some kind of White Castle sinner you know I gotta say I ain't even mad like look at this they got my broad shoulders right I look [ __ ] yoked the lighting is perfect what else could I ask for better buckle up there piggies there's a new sinner in town actually in my hair take her alive is there a difference between a heretic and a sitter yeah just look at this heretic he looks like you could headbutt a rock and the rock would start crying on the topic of head-butting I'd really like to give the store owners in this game a concussion given how high their prices are but you can't just pull a follow-up by selling them your lude immediately murdering them and then taking it back so you either have to pony up the dough or find gear through the story mode you know I could teach you a life lesson if you're interested well like how to price scout [ __ ] you she's just gonna leave this cash on her counter yo are you doing job at the jail are you DS gonna let me get away with this you just don't even care I get I guess not okay welcome to Montana then I moved on to John in the West who's in charge of resources slash torture slash motivational speeches and he's basically Daniel Bryan out of WWE yes yes the power yes yes yes yes yes yes yeah is he as fun as Faith No so who wants to go first not me which one no someone's got to choose i'ma keep it real with you that's a note from me dog that's that's gonna be a no for me no no good practice no promise no does he say yes a lot yes all right we out here it's real heretic hours here we go [Music] you did good freedom those folks in John's cleansing he won't be too happy about it but frankly he can go [ __ ] himself [Applause] is he the easiest sibling to kill maybe yes actually yes you don't care no I said no one time what's the big deal may God have mercy on your soul I beat faith in like six hours and I beat John in like two and I'm pretty sure it's because I finally mastered the gunplay let's try that again babe oh you can't collateral I did not know that you can the devil you damned Peggy's in a typical binary fashion there's to combat categories that I like to call stealth so I learn you can cheese it pretty easily if you just spot everybody with your binoculars here and then you can just walk still god I'm still undetected mission accomplished and a completely separate unrelated category that I call still I got it I got it remain calm fellas remain calm I'm a trained professional subtlety's my specialty all right going all Sam Fisher stealth mode makes everything easier and faster because getting detected turns a three minute job into a ten minute job when enemies call reinforcements but you guys know that I don't mind making things harder if it means that I get to blow [ __ ] up all right you know what the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away I call this one a Bible fall you can suppress almost anything in the game so I ran around with a DMR and a 50 Cal because the a ARS and submachine guns feel like pea shooters with unjustifiable recoil okay let's play the game called why you shouldn't have your firing squad in the middle of a field what do we learn just rest assured that there's no shortage of weaponry to make Montana a living hell for everybody but you like mounted em geez thumpers remote c4 RPGs and even a classic stick of dynamite this may be the first time this has ever been said a state of Montana but you're yes the further you progress in the game the cooler the [ __ ] you unlock and some things are deadlier than you'd expect I'm looking at you legendary slingshot thanks Herc you think that scares me after what I've been through see Jacob was the last sibling that I murdered and I was pleasantly surprised that his sequence reminded me of the sunken place from get out only instead of floating in a purgatory you're completing the CQB test from Cod for this is arguably trickier than everything else earlier with faith I'm just half expecting gas to just pop out of nowhere and say no ice your fruit killing skills are remarkable you know what are those ex-military dudes that constantly talks about being alpha when really they're just psychotic and they can't adjust to life in a civilian setting that's Jacob if you play the game after watching this video start with this region because it has the best companions in the entire game and we're not just talking oh look now you get a dog no no no no no no we're talking about a [ __ ] bear named cheeseburger now we had a bear here named cheeseburger a bit of a local celebrity actually had a soft spot for Chad's barbeque but got the diabeetus so we put him on a liquid salmon diet if I were to tell you everything that I love about cheeseburger this video would be an hour long just know that he's the deadliest cuddliest sidekick ever that somehow it remains stealthy like enemies don't even question why a huge ass bear is running around and that's only a drop in the bucket in terms of his utility [ __ ] so I swap my n F keys don't eat me in the blue corner we have a six foot eight black never mind if you don't want to fight you're disqualified well the Wolverine taxi fight I don't know if I would call that a fight but at least he didn't run away well some meat there briefly boy got some meat for yours no he actually does not want that at all hey why are you looking at me and smacking your lips like I've got a snack for you or am I the snack hopefully I'm not the snack outsider Irving with the fadeaway no look J ball oh sorry cheeseburger does not mean to do that to you I will never ever let that happen again I swear okay I'll admit I'm sorry cheeseburger but I know you can take it you're like an 800 pound ball of rubber please don't eat me cheeseburger that would be really bad or not I guess he's just gonna revive me I guess that's how companions work is nobody gonna test to that medical miracle I really like how every resistance member is always like oh my god cheeseburger when I'm the one liberating their entire county like who would be more important a guy liberating an entire county from impending and imminent doom or one cheesy boy I guess it's one cheesy boy but there is one singular human companion that comes close and his name is her Junior not to be confused with his dad Herc senior who admittedly isn't the world's greatest father you see that steaming pile of disappointment over there praying that's my loin fruit hurt Junior dumber than a cold bucket your son look at me you're dumber than a box of [ __ ] wait Junior are you proof was that you can't look after [ __ ] he's about as redneck as they come and I mean that in the best way possible not to mention his specialty is blowing [ __ ] up with his rat 4 he's the most kick-ass saw [ __ ] in all the Montana dead ass [ __ ] out of there man you don't got to worry about a thing man I got a nine step plan to get in this truck man step one catch your day buzz up party-like got that one coming step two pray for someone else to solve my problem done okay I guess I guess we're just shotgunning beers then oh I just remembered step three we take from the rear just like my granddaddy did a World War two with all them foreign prostitutes all right you see that watchtower let's go [ __ ] [ __ ] up is all about the zip line man we gonna zip line in there sneak a bottle night ninjas all right since we're still in stealth mode yes yes this is what I love about her is just as I'm about to fire they already explode thankfully you can have multiple companion slots so you don't have to choose between cheeseburger and Herc because why not both now there are guns for hire that are like generic civilians that you can recruit as squad mates but most of them suck and have no character so I skipped them all together Tyler why can't you just give me free [ __ ] I'm like the coolest dude in Montana [Music] the story missions overall pretty damn neato like smashing pallets of drugs and getting buzzed off a bliss defending a giant cabin while blasting get free crumbling joseph´s giant statue to the ground retrieving a big rig with a mounted machine gun eradicating drug-fueled animals with rpgs count me in alright I kind of feel like I should not be stealthiness I don't know why I was trying to stop this for so long cuz the thumper is gonna do this way quicker unless I just drug myself in my mind as you're fine but I don't also want to kill myself with Splash Damage okay I can't believe this is a pistol slot by the way the thumper is in your pistols do you think you think it'll go on if I can hit it with a rock I bounced it yeah I'm hitting it oh no oh oh god this is gonna be bad this is gonna be cows everywhere Oh am I even supposed to fight oh I feel so bad now I feel really really bad however some missions where the basis was go find five of this or go do 20 of that we're just plain stupid like you would think you Asaf would know doing something over and over and over again is insanity but I guess not did I ever tell you the definition the game can be a whole lot faster and a whole lot easier if you know your way around vehicles like it should be no surprise that you can cheese the entire game by abusing planes and helicopters but I stopped with cars and a TV so that I could have that true Montana experience and I have nothing against tropical islands or the Himalayas but Montana is the coolest [ __ ] playground ever Colbert talk about girls talk about true West Virginia my mama take me home country road if you're not a fan of things with motors the Nifty grapple mechanic and wingsuit / can make cruising around Hoke County a breeze just be careful about heights because it doesn't take much to snap your femurs in half you know I hate to be one of those people that says I'd rather be doing hex but I'd rather be in an ATV like something just brings me back to ATV offroad fury - and I really can't wait to get back on the ground I'm not gonna outright recommend drug usage by taking these consumables but getting buzzed off a wild turkey flying around in a wingsuit and doing dump chute with a rocket launcher is pretty fun nobody knows I'm not a zoologist but I'm pretty sure that's gonna make the barking stuff probably not a good idea but seeing as White Castle here is numbed out of his mind I really want to see for science how many hits with my bare hands it takes to actually kill a bear unless know I guess the cheeseburgers he's gonna do the heavy lift launch chokeslammed knock it out right ruin the ending for you but I definitely didn't like it it really felt like I was choosing between a [ __ ] sandwich and a [ __ ] sandwich with a side bowl of [ __ ] but then I thought to myself Montana was the perfect setting I enjoyed every second of all of the weapons feel and sound outstanding reloading and explosions included there's kick-ass characters and only a handful of times that I ever truly felt boars worried I get bored Obama lovin lib charge the AI is straight hearted which enhance the experience profusely hey hey get out of the road I didn't say get in front of my car you a my really gonna let us our ending ruin all of that greatness Oh [Music] war cry v is a drug filled religion fuelled blast that I would gladly play again only time with more Herc and more cheeseburger and of story and that's about it I would like to thank you very much for watching and be sure to tune in next time when I get buzzed off a moonshine and make out with my sister [Music] [Music] [Music]

Channel: TheRussianBadger

Views: 7,966,549

Rating: 4.9271712 out of 5

Keywords: far cry 5, rainbow six siege, ubisoft, far cry 5 gameplay, farcry 5, far cry, far cry 5 campaign, far cry v, far cry 5 walkthrough, far cry 5 2018, far cry 5 review, far cry 5 trailer, far cry 5 story, guns for hire, far cry 5 cheeseburger, far cry 5 funny, farcry5, far cry 5 animals, far cry 5 ending, far cry 5 weapons, far cry 5 guns for hire, multiplayer, far cry 5 funny moments, far cry 5 character customization, far cry 5 characters, far cry 5 free roam, release date

Id: CKYfio3b8ks

Length: 21min 29sec (1289 seconds)

Published: Sun Apr 22 2018