THE ALL TIME BEST OF r/MEMES

[Music] they told them they'll write a joke in the box and they put a mirror in it where'd he even get a mirror at a pizza place [Laughter] teacher why are you late again sorry sir my car just broke so is that my fault did i blame you now we're gonna throw hands about it if you lose it's your fault each you might be the teacher but i'm about to school you little did that punk know that's the professor of hard knocks right there when i get confused i just look at this uh rechargeable battery well i mean we see rechargeable power banks stuff all the time what's different about a little rechargeable double a battery i'm pretty sure energizer makes like a battery rechargeable like station for like four batteries at a time this is just like making the process down to single batteries that's hilarious american people be like what a delicious piece of cheese that's soap i don't get it that meme that meme is a miss for me people who dip their fries in tomato sauce people who dip their fries in chili sauce me who dip my fries in ice cream ah you're the code breaker you are the blend between sweet and savory of sorts me watching the olympics lmao this guy sucks even i could run faster also me and by run faster i mean that's because i reached 99 agility on runescape [Laughter] when you finally get back from a trip and you can finally use your home toilet i release you poo poo funny when you're known as the first avenger even though you know thor is 1400 years more older than you but i was the first contacted no i wasn't i'm not first in any regard [Laughter] food was good here's a tip but it goes to the waiters not the cooks i don't think either are paid enough in uh in salary let's give tips to the cooks too listen if we're gonna keep tipping culture in the u.s let's go all out tip everybody me after finding a deer oh dear oh dear me after finding a donkey you donkey yeah those are animals all right six-year-old me sees hair clamp and does this mom stop why do you do that to me i am a bot and this action was performed automatically mother if you must know when you find a spider inside you don't kill it because it's web is full of mosquitoes we'll watch your career with great interest i just want to see what he's capable of insider a florida judge says he regrets sending man to prison for stealing shoes to give away to homeless kids the judge he was a hero i just couldn't see it in the comics doesn't he like find out at one point that peter parker is spider-man and then he starts helping him so the judge could still come around video games are violence i am delivering ketchup to warsaw and my volvo delivery truck yeah video games are violent because i'm finally getting this job done having a small brain having a brain with light bulbs having a glowing brain and having a brain that shoots lasers on a helpful chart for you to understand where you are boss why are you late me oh you're never going to believe this um rival monkey tribes fought in the middle of a busy street stopping traffic and i just couldn't um couldn't happen to get through i couldn't pass through the monkeys because there was this like it was a wave a monkey you crack a horrible joke and someone laughs thank you thank you but you're home alone what entering a tunnel leaving a tunnel hey it's the kid who blinds himself hey good to see him again hope he's doing well hope his retinas are looking up no one game loading screens most people living in italy are italians you did it you gave me a fun fact that is a very fun fact we're magicians oh okay plot twist it's actually us oh no how'd you do that where the magicians go the guy about to be killed mercy the french serial killer what can i say except you're welcome oh yeah well listen there's global warming i mean things are going on with the pollution like i'm telling you i'm doing you a favor honestly if i'd ever win millions in the lottery i'd buy every ticket to a cardi b show when she comes out it would just be me like you suck i mean you're the dummy for buying out every ticket you just gave her millions of dollars for what you think that's gonna hurt her ego no you're just a dummy tom cruise exists missions impossible like the movie oh i get it supermodels that one girl you saw on a trip and will never see again that's hyper specific is this person okay the worst she could say is no i'm telling mom well now you know better how zeus saw the literal goddess of beauty how zeus saw random mortal women sometimes he needs something a little more on the flesh side know what i'm saying sometimes having that eternal life is not so good sometimes a god needs to experience the finite reality of the living the mortal sorry using a mouse like that no using it like this to get rid of all that slack yeah people that use a bluetooth mouse i'm sorry is this some sort of peasant joke that i'm too rich to understand yeah yeah websites that allow you to move and crop your profile picture before setting it websites that don't that's okay now you just look like uh like something be nice to people we're all just trying our best me knowing full well that i'm not trying my best don't look at me i just realized cowboys go yeehaw and ninjas go here but cowboy ninjas i don't know what they say probably uh look out i don't know hey what's wrong nothing i mean okay you're me here's a statue i don't know how you're talking to me just a bust npc meet back here at midfield me go sidequesting for five days npc when i finally show up hey you're just in time oh really well it is night didn't say when i had to be here by nightfall just by a nightfall so you're right i'm here just on time yo i hung up this really cute picture of my wife in her office too [Music] well now she knows she's putting in good work good job hoss i gotta buy a new office chair when girls don't cover up enough in school society we don't do that here when girls cover up too much at the olympics society we don't do that here there is no middle ground and that's the problem i don't know if that's the problem or not i'm not a society people who write smiley faces like that people who write smiley faces like that people who write smiley faces like that people who write colon 3 everyone world exists philosophers [Music] preposterous pissing in the shower showering in the piss one's fun to do the other you never want to be involved in yo imagine having a straight spine this meme was made by scoliosis gang let's go this definitely started in the bathroom listen you gave me too many taco bell diablo sauces i had no choice but to run it up drop one quick in the bathroom it was too late a couple of super duper chalupas and i'm out of town professor the test isn't that confusing the test i want to break free to ride my bicycle at all or to make a super sonic man can i phone a friend m is million yeah that makes sense b is billion yeah i can see that but k is thousand why yeah why is k thousand oh this this is peaking my curiosity hold on i hit my microphone i'm not even sorry about it so k is used as thousand because it comes from the greek word kilo which means thousand we use kilo as the kilogram or kilometer where kilo means thousand okay interesting so we can blame the greek we did it we time traveled but to what year let me ask that guy over there hey which year are we in i i won't tell and he didn't tell me find a newspaper problem solved just need to find a newspaper finally a news anchor i can trust the double g for g for jizzle also kevin hart coming back to work after a four-day weekend laughing nervously i wish i was dead you owe me both lady that third nap can't come soon enough man zodiac science what's your favorite element i like a bit of earth man zodiac signs what key do you press when a game asks you to press any key i press the space bar wait who's pushing the start stop button is that on the tesla that's got to be someone on a tesla zombie bites person person but i'm the main character virus understandable have a great day ah yes yes can can't infect me can't infect me if i'm who the plot revolves around idiot most of the boys and tick tock that wavy hair a chain shoes the person seeing this meme sculpted from pure marble gorgeous twitter as a social platform read it as a social platform steam is a social platform steam is by far the most accurate i mean twitter is too twitter is like specific to an active landmine on purpose but uh the steam forums are horrifying mom can we go to egypt no we have egypt at home egypt at home i am the sphinx hey look you got your nose back how'd that happen canine bites cow deputy tases canine cow ticks cow kicks deputy perfectly balanced as old things should be creates imperial system forces colonies to use it switches to metric makes foot of america for using imperial [Laughter] i don't know if that's legit or not but uh that's funny dude i took my birds to the vet just to find out they're sickest like look they're shredding gnar i don't know why what what do i do do i call someone do i call tony hawk maybe because like his last name's a bird so i like i don't know if that relates to avian shredding i can't tell [Laughter] please could you go to a shop and get a carton of milk and they have like avocados get six and they had avocados so i got six cartons of milk like you asked i love you honey he has the spirit but not quite the instructions he doesn't have those down all the way me just waking up by gf who had a dream i cheated on her and how dare you how dare you be an oh but actually it's not you it's a dream you but how dare dream you [Laughter] me and parents watching the movie sex scene appears me no sit there awkwardly and watch it with your parents don't cover your eyes bond with your parents over the sex scene ask them do you do that when you have to teach the kids that family means nothing and uno uno monopoly jenga i don't care how closely related you are to me you're just competition at that point i need to win people complaining about bad quality of nasa footage nasa live streaming video from god damn space 400 kilometers away what do you think what do you expect oh sure we can get your 1080p high definition video it's in space when it's 2040 and you discover that your parents accidentally burned down half of california telling people you were a boy father tell me you didn't do this but the dad's all like i'm sorry but i did that so much i so very much did that two wild animals about to have sex the national geographic cameraman [Music] could get this footage for the documentary mom dad why don't you just kill me too sorry kid but i only killed 99 of the germs the girl you like her father her brother her ex her crush you easy pull them pants up man you want to impress the dame gotta pull up the pants government work from home archaeologists oh if you say so bruh these kids are ruining a lemonade stand and i walked up to them and said got any grapes and this kid dead ass looked me in the eyes and says ah we prepared for people like you it pulled out a bowl of cold grapes i had no choice but to get mine to my everything in my wallet my id my credit cards my social security card it's theirs when it's been a long day fighting batman but you still got to go to the grocery and go home to cook a meal because not everyone's a billionaire like bruce wayne and that's the real joke your mom gets a new boyfriend panic he's a gamer calm he's the guy who beat you a halo 12 years ago and said he's gonna do your mom no no [Music] the tales were true when you're the only guy supporting harold for meme of the decade i look at him he looks familiar teachers win the ad and just have fun to the instructions why is no one having a good time i specifically requested it it's in the rules what unrealistic thing in movies bug the hell out of you they remove headrests from cars so you can see the actors better what that makes sense i haven't seen this being formatted in forever this is an old meme format bring this format back heal my disease no jake's pill with no effect are you son of a [ __ ] i'm in oh you think bankrupting a hedge fund is funny i do and i'm tired of pretending it's not i think it's funny too can't fund much when you're broke when a helicopter passes age 10 versus age 40 30 years looking into the sky and i'll do it until i die when the hero's about to fall off a cliff his friend who disappeared at the beginning of the movie he came back just in time jellyfish have been around for more than 650 million years which means that they outdate both dinosaurs and sharks you gotta bump those numbers up those are rookie numbers didn't your husband just throw hands with death and live to tell the tale didn't he just do that forget everything you learned in college you won't need it working here but i didn't go to college well then you're unqualified for this job huh but you said i didn't need it yeah well we like that piece of paper okay sweetheart go take a jog and see how it feels oh those shoes real sponge those are ooh those are nikes those are nice nikes dad telling jokes at home no response but when dads tell jokes at work oh surrounded by laughs karen's cafe karen the manager karen asking for the manager oh jesus christ we're gonna have a we're gonna see a subatomic collapse youtuber who makes kid-friendly videos and doesn't swear their old videos from five years ago [Music] yeah what about it the police me who just donated 14 kidneys what you don't got 14 of them sucks for you i guess is there an x i a 12 here it's pronounced kyle don't tell me that that's actually how it's pronounced i'm gonna lose my mind if it's pronounced kyle when you realize dutch looks like mean man spelling article debate infantry juice language write your name in reverse it's your demon name gangster name little kid that's my demon name dick lil me visits japan also me wondering if godzilla was just a normal sized lizard oh i mean maybe that's good to know though because i'm 6'4 [Laughter] a magician guessing wrong on purpose is this your card me a professional introvert yes me and the magician neither of us want to be in this situation now how do you get out of it magic man do a trick look i'm not saying my ex is fat but my memory foam mattress bed took a year to forget her the rocks there is a group of blizzard fans trying to turn mae into a pro hong kong icon to get the game banned in china listen not saying it's a bad thing because it's not modern problems require modern solutions get that game banned elon musk spills coffee on his computer everyone who's brainy chipped going crazy dude hailey just flipped the ecstasy switch when mutant is too quiet but one is too loud well of course mute's gonna be too quiet it's mute i mean you could just solve this and put on some headphones you god dang idiot terms to know naruto running the art of running like japanese anime character naruto uzumaki in which a person runs very fast with her torso forward and arms back can i see a demonstration ah thank you not really doing it right but i appreciate the effort that that that positioning was not uzumaki certified nasa when an asteroid narrowly misses the earth by 545 million miles and he's just [Music] too close for comfort teenagers in real life actual teenagers teenagers on netflix 25 year old people hired to be teenagers pov you became friends with another kid you never saw again because he wasn't real he was a figment of the slides me cleaning my closet your life my nintendo ds still at 40 battery after six years i'm alive you still got the game loaded in you oh i mean pokemon diamond yeah god knew this logo was too good to be used i mean yeah that's a really solid logo he had to shut it down me who now has to attend online classes my fbi agent who now has to attend online classes with me time to learn stupid i got a theater monologue to turn in the four horsemen of passing back items if you do any of these i will personally make sure that your subscription life expires imma turn auto renew off phoenix birds after getting old and die oh no anyway cheeky phoenix back again introverts after making it through an entire phone call it's done nice job photographer stan's completely unaware of a stag just a few feet away from him a stag photographer another stag another photographer the cycle continues physics teacher what's 40 m over s plus 30 m over s me 70 physics teacher 70 what apples bananas be specific this is a graded quiz if somebody offers you an amazing opportunity but you're not sure you can do it say yes then learn how to do it later that's a richard branson original so you want to be a pilot huh [Music] [Laughter] teacher hyped up class party all year the party a thin slice the underpaid teacher who bought it with its own money i tried and that you did i'm not gonna complain it's pizza wall street you're the worst trader i've ever heard of potato underscore in underscore money underscore ass but you have heard of me that's what counts my mom thinking about who keeps using all the shampoo seven-year-old me making potions in the bathroom he's just testing it out seeing what he likes when you have a great time with the present but it was not for you [Laughter] oh get him one too b2 bomber pear grind falcon my hand reaching into a pringles can things are all the same got back from breaking the sending me to hr think i'm finally getting fired you gave me a promotion i'm suffering from success shout out to college end of the world comes in 2021 the dyslexic prophet who announced it for 2012. sorry [Music] who do you trust more a random dog or the media i mean hey that's an overwhelming majority for the random dog but something in his eyes tells me it's up to no good this [ __ ] fish decided to walk out of the water one day and now i have to go to work and pay rent so screw you and your air breathing lungs scotland allows customers to buy land and become a lord or lady for less than 50 mom asking me where's the 50 she gave me to pay the water bill it's lord now first grader singing rain rain go away the shaman who spent two hours summoning the rain not on my watch why can't you just die like a regular meme screams he just can't it's the mean man when mom peeks in to check you for your sleep at night and leaves again i am the master of deceit when you live in a small country and see someone mention it on the internet it's me a 13 year old boy from china hacked into school computer and gets answers to his homework ah so he's smart enough to hack the school computer but he can't do his homework it's about sending a message not about completing the homework indian dude blows into a weird pipe snake starts a grooving and that's just that's classic i don't like the soulmate t no thank you however i do like this guy he had this shirt for a year and i always wondered why the sleeves were black until he met this man today trade train them all right leg hair moves ever so slightly my brain there's a spider there's a spider there's a spider there's a sweater there's a spider did you get my nudes i wanted pictures of spider-man give jonah the spidey pics mary he only cares about ass if that ass is dripped in spider-man's outfit and is spider-man uh spring break or some no i'm not american it certainly is what do you call a fight between film actors star wars he got some laughs the bad joke t-rex is finally the good joke t-rex i'm sorry did the wrong people manipulate the stock market oh i over shorted gamestop and i gotta pay for my consequences of overshooting a stock by more than a hundred percent kitkat celebrates gay month by i hope that it's just called game month by releasing a new kitkat with no straight lines i think they meant no parallel lines because those are still straight who are you who are so wise in the ways of science me leaving my computer after gaming all night with a kind stranger online and it's back to the bed when you donate one dollar to a streamer now say my name i've earned it the sun is unusually quiet says scientists the sun before it was screaming how snoop dogg's joint rolling skills made him a sushi master what can he say you can learn more about it in snoop's newest cookbook from crook to cook is that who i think it is it's cronk teammate you're trash mate stop playing this game you suck me trying my best oh just ignore him it's okay he should go touch grass pounds and kilograms can agree that zero is a good point so can inches in centimeters but all these measurements they can't agree first nothing wait does she have oh that's funny her jewelry is designed like the infinity gauntlet i know a certain purple grimace man who would take interest in that jewelry my uncle killed my father's trying to kill me now oh wow have you tried just not worrying about it maybe i'm a dude and i hate it when people tell me i look tired and angry like i'm just standing here what the hell you sound angry yeah i bet it's because he's tired underage me at the bar my dad with his secret gf my sister dancing topless was just a whole family affair trash day trash go bin stay bingo i get grandma up there she won hi schooler uh i'd kill for college tuition well you will well do i have an offer for you do you like oil 12 year old me setting a username 18 year old me unable to change the name sorry dude volume during the dialogue volume during the action scenes that's about right me downloading a 90 gigabyte [Laughter] my family trying to use the wi-fi and that's not gonna work not gonna work when you drink 12 cans of red bull every day so you can get wings but you get type 2 diabetes instead yeah so that was a lie yeah it was it was a rip-off so you're just gonna post pics of random people and assume everyone will get the joke yes i get the joke do you you don't matter give up yes normal people get in a coffin dance your mom get in a coffin dance did not get a yo mom joke in this meme page british accent american accent a european who learned english from youtube and that meter's going crazy that dial is going insane cats when you call their names sleep cats when you s s pov you are an electrical appliance and you suddenly stop working oh just a little yeah backed us back to business as usual gotham citizens watching batman drive a tank through a building to fight a clown he's he's a hard-working man he's he's protecting the city what's your problem you doofus i don't get it he's he's defending the city he's keeping you safe and you're just you're what are you shocked you shocked that there's criminals in gotham whatever ungrateful when your parents say hey we need to talk and every single thing you've done since birth crosses your mind it's about the pokemon cards huh mom i know i thought i thought we would eventually have this discussion let's sit down you know you don't know why i'm selling these pokemon cards in the black market i'll tell you why come see come on bro i told a blind customer come back and see us by accident and he said well i will try my best yeah i hope so i hope you do try your best if you want to knock off at me you want to be deaf too then i'll say hope to hear from you soon hope you'll be here and you'll be hearing from me soon no you won't you're deaf no your ears no working no more well your eyes are bad bro just fix the dial on your brain fix the image my brother is getting kidnapped he had my phone with him but he had my phone with him well now i gotta save them you want your dude yeah go drop it gotta go no man there we go well you ted had a bad korean barbecue trip i'm gonna go to the bathroom job quick one and a quick little quick little sit down slithering snake bites your butthole and you you tell you ah you jump up the snake looks at you and goes we've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty flush the toilet flush some dad back into the sewers i'm going to change the world for the better right for the better right i'm dog vegan baby cartoon characters when they take off their glasses be like listen buddy if you want to call out velma dinkley you say her by name okay don't make a vague mean post just say it just say it problems stress and pain getting you down cheese has your back watch them hug you close and then take it a suplex city and paul heyman standing on the side there because that's lactose intolerance baby welcome to suplex city german suplex after german suplex yo you didn't know it's summerslam isaac newton discovering gravity at the age of 23 charles darwin discovering the theory of didn't discover the theory of evolution [Laughter] like isaac newton supplies galileo applies here but albert einstein did not discover relativity he theorized that there was the theory of relativity and then all of the science checks out over peer-reviewed documents same goes with the theory of evolution that wasn't a discovery it was he noticed some whatever you know i'm i'm not gonna whatever whatever me who discovered it all the age of nine that's what it's what a modern education does for you baby i'm better than i sadness and loneliness you can't defeat me i know but he can and it's it's him who is he him the good boy the best boy remember class anything can be art except what bobby do today bobby has created the opposite of art actually not getting proper nutritions because humans feed me bread making him even raise awareness about feeding them bread feed them corn lettuce seeds frozen peas oats instead make stuck happy instead of duck dead when she finally takes her boyfriend's name out of her bio it's open season look at all my me and all my boys shooting a shot listen if we're all trying to get the same girl who i want to fight with my boys so is this gonna be like a situation where we all get her one day of the week or quick insect fact number 10 a mosquito can fly but a fly cannot mosquito just thought you should know all the dads this this is a joke for the dads i'm not even going to say nothing this one's for the dads if you know you know and if you know sup dad when your mom introduces you to her new boyfriend and he greets you by your gamertag what how did you know don't you know jimmylord45 i'm the guy that you tried to dance on in fortnite i found your address tracked your house down met your mother lovely lady found her on tinder i swiped right and she matched with me i took her to a date at outback steakhouse got a bloomin onion shared it i'm better i'm better onion petals jimmy and then i fed her something else oh you know you want to know you want to know the things that have been in your mouth's mouth jimmy it's time to go to bed don't ever ever in your life l dance on me ever again i think he just does that to every like dude who like dunks on him he finds their mom has sex with him a chad move meanwhile in germany they're just sharing sharing a drink while in class sometimes it's stressful take the edge off i get it google on earth day oh google on mars day that's going to piss off elon and dave's going to make a really bad snl sketch about you and grimes is going to be there just as princess peach with an italian headset wouldn't you that was better princess peach has never been italian men women are so confusing also men hey young men who don't remove their shorts or underwear by kicking them up into the air and catch them put it in the ground why don't you become so old and grumpy well if you must know i've always been like this when you go and meet boba fett and harry potter shows up he was just dressing up nothing wrong with that when you buy noise-cancelling headphones but you can still hear the voices inside your head hey listen man it's for outside noise inside noise you have something else it's called therapy that's the best noise-cancelling headphone of all for those voices brain forget that problem hearts hold on don't let go ass [Music] choose whatever far noise you want there inspiring stuff inspired by the disney pixar animated film cars to the video game lets players jump into the cars to universe with some of their favorite cars personalities in exotic locations around the globe cool all right it's an action game a racing game i mean of course hentai what am i going to be stuffing motor's tailpipe a rare photo of the arrival of the russian national hockey team in canada and you ruined the game now we gotta pay them all the i i'm gonna play hanukkah the big submarine in the middle huh you ever think you ever take two seconds think about how that's gonna work now i gotta skate around the submarine why why would you do something so stupid my voice got a little angry there a little bit of i don't know maybe it was just me but i started hearing shades of omniman shades of jk simmons coming out in that one italian hospital employee accused of skipping work for 15 years accused whatever it didn't happen 15 years of skipping work he missed a day his employer blind in both police wouldn't even know it this week on house hunters husband early doge investor wife only fans budget 3.69 me is he wearing a doge pin that's not real no way he's wearing that clenching my fist in anger i had 10 000 doge in january i sold it because i was having an issue i was having an issue where i needed to just have some money quick so i saw him i'm unzipping my converse glasses case i had 10 000 in january i sold that super cheap just to get my money back on it if i waited oh if i held i would have had so much good money and i'm so mad about it obi-wan hello there grievous oh i i'm sorry i don't know why my brain like worked ahead to go into obi-wan or to go into grievous rather obi-wan hello there grievous general kanoobe that's not how you say his name my dad sent me this picture and it looks straight at a gta well that's because it is your dad's a dlc and i'm playing as him i'm your dad 8pm one beer all right one beer and by 4 a.m one beer turned to two and two to ten and you gotta get a fireman's carry to get out of that bar alive just another night with the boys eight-year-old me after buying the ben 10 watch and have not turned into any monster a horrible sentence structure aside first of all it's called an omnitrix second of all did you even listen to the theme song you know what it said it stuck itself upon his wrist with secrets that it hid you can't just engage in capitalism and have yourself an omnitrix that's not how it works stupid kid look at this efficiency the guy sitting on the chair put the brains and the brawn together to make a perfect combo like peanut butter and chocolate look at this well-constructed argument it stands no chance against okay and [Music] an alternate one is l plus ratio that is just as effective pov you ate a whole bag of chips in your bed and forgot now you got all those crumbs you gotta deal with man that's that you you reap what you sow when you sewed crumbs onto your bed uh if i were you i'd be feeling pretty silly are you feeling pretty crummy quick animal fact number 9573 if you grab a king cobra by its tail you won't have to pay taxes go to work or interact with people ever again that's because the king cover will kill you and you'll be dead honey would you still love me if i was fat well of course but mom you are fat kid you don't know how much damage you just did that's a lot of damage and that's a time out when it's 90 degrees outside so you decide to do some work on the lawn oh yeah baby just wet that cup wait what oh i hate it oh i hate that i hate the look no wait what's going on here wait hold on what's going on why why is he i don't like this this this stumped me and confused me and worried me how's he on the wall i'm sorry i'm like so like stumped by this i just i don't get the joke here is it because the ground is hot but he's wearing shoes so it doesn't even matter if the ground is hot what do you mean working on the i don't understand the bit it can't be that easy artist sells invisible sculpture for over eighteen thousand dollars it's that easy that's marketing baby if a country wants to join the eurovision song contest we first had to do battle with angela merkel's chosen champion that's the rule we don't make the rules we just enforce them and we gotta enforce this fight first one to draw blood wins [Laughter] [Music] when you beat your brother but he told your mom he fell i'll get out it's what boys do and say thanks man you and i we we had some we had some disagreements but truthfully i appreciate that you uh appreciate that you cover for me there man women do not exist just middle-aged men with filters i hate to break it to you that's just reality so the flies are getting aggressive this year oh you're locked in doors they couldn't come in and cause any sort of havoc they're breaking in there they have nothing else nothing left okay flies live for 30 seconds at best i'm not a bio i'm not an animal person i don't know so i don't quote me on that but in drastic times call for drastic measures when freddie mercury said mama i know we were making these faces we had you can't help it you hear him yell mama we gotta go [Laughter] you gotta it's the rule kids working in factories in the industrial era you freed us the public school system oh i wouldn't say freed more like under new management i don't get it so it's because school is schools like a factory no no i don't necessarily agree that the public school system was the same as the industrial era factories but hey you know maybe i'm wrong when the internet goes out in dino world and we play the chrome human game looks like that just shows you how parallel universes work baby is crazy when gas prices go over four dollars a gallon you make your own gas with coke and mentos baby did you just hear bricks snort your hand were you asleep i'm not trying to make this become like the brick hour but he snored so damn loud just now sorry i'm so quiet it's like 3 a.m and i'm i'm trying to like power through this memes it's not a lot of commentary i can do my favorite bee is a ghost bee right right um booby well that's not a very good therapist seems like he's uh ignoring the patient guy standing guys standing sitting nice okay this is gonna be like really weird because um i recorded this first half like three in the morning yesterday and now it's midnight today and my microphone's in a different place and it's a whole mess but deal with it so if i sound louder or quieter or whatever they you know why how people imagine me when i say i'm half brazilian and half russian what a cartoon character no i don't imagine like that at all dog ejected from car during sunday crash found on sheep farm herding sheep well guess i'll heard back to your purpose when you're at the bar in your 30s and someone walks up and asks did we go to high school together all right maybe uh who are you i'm trying to drink if i remember get me a drink so i can forget my parents at age 23. let's buy a house yes me at age 23. i wanna buy 50 mcnuggets nug well see the reason being is because at the time 25 bought a house and when they were 23. all you can get now is 50 min nuggets but i'd say the satisfaction is about the same if not higher i'm an apple fan the name 29 apple products iphone well that's on me i set the bar too low while i looked it up just to make sure this was accurate there are 29 different iphone models that was wow it's a very accurate meme task manager not responding you were supposed to end the unresponsive tasks not join them it would retort but it's not responding when you didn't finish your homework and the teacher asks for it at this very second you are on the narrow ledge between life and death whatever you say infographics apple when you bite the same apple five seconds later and that's oxidization let's go you ever leave an avocado out for 30 seconds keep yourself safe in the workplace incorrect correct get someone else to do all your heavy lifting work smart not hard before lumberjack web developer ill-mannered well-mannered now lumberjack web developer uh you know looks changed and that's what you got to deal with okay at least now you got a well-mannered lumberjack me after starting a two-hour movie to finish my two-minute lunch it's for the distraction not the information chemistry physics genetics zoology biology medicine literally everything else the high lord you saw me and didn't even say hi did i see you though they will inject us with microchips to keep track of our movement oh really phones smart launches laptops roomba smart home devices social media they're already doing it patrick i have two sides forcing my best friend to watch my favorite movie and web series and avoiding my best friend's suggested movies in web series i'm a dangerous man me and the boys are putting ourselves through 12 years of school huh now what now you gotta do taxes my mom lets my chicken nuggets and mac and cheese touch on the plate five-year-old me don't you dare talk up little baby gordon don't you dare say a word that's your mama you eat what you eat what's on your plate no matter what me what's with these fanboys also me in the 90s oh my god boobs polygonal perkys stupid awful i love you and your brother equally mom went through your old brothers pants oh dear oh dear gorgeous mom and 23 year old me my pants you [ __ ] dog wait you said you love us equally just because why man i had to go pay me to lose 250 250 gets you two races from a dig or a roll i'll let you outrun me so you can brag about how fast your baby is for 25 extra i'll talk on video before our race 275 dollars will get you the premium package video of race me talking before the race the admitting how fast your whip is after the race just give me a holler for a couple of dollars babe look at my person get my there you go i'm not going there when the villagers start thanking robin hood for helping them out of poverty and helping them become rich oh you're what now time to distribute again reddit any link rick rule redditers i bring you this normal link go ahead click on it it's not suspicious it's a recipe to make rolls sweet sweet rolls schools i'm gonna teach you stuff students it'll help me in the future right it will help me in the future right yeah well some of it anyway my iq while studying my ikea ordering food when i'm at chipotle i always wait until after the employee puts the first scoop of chicken on my burrito and asks for double chicken so the size of the first scoop isn't compromised by the knowledge i'm getting a second scoop and now the employee has shown their hand in the terms of their default scoop size so they can't play aims with my second scoop i just jumped the counter grab the shoe in my hands my grubby little hands i go mine and i grab it what's the lowest rank in the army then it's it's private me all right then keep your secrets that's a classic meme format i like that the impact font and everything oh picked up a hitchhiker last night he said thanks how do you know i'm not a serial killer i replied that the chances of two serial killers being in the same car are astronomical i said you ever watched spree could be insane if there were two of us in the same car right now if it ain't wartime it ain't a war crime and that's a seussism this is terry the skinny shark he used to be fat until he moved out of american waters say good job tear i am the best gaming platform no i am amateurs what was that punk i'm with yours oh it's the samsung smart fridge back up back up slowly grubbing gaming at the same time i can't handle it mom i know my son girlfriend i know i'm better internet browser history i know i'm the best man turns spider crabs into didgeridoos wow i really hope no one does that to me when i'm dead guess what guess who just got signed up for did's redo anatomy that's right this guy me wondering when my game doesn't load screen press any button to start that's why you gotta read buddy when you're max level but you're doing a starter mission again we're gonna go beat up the level one enemies just for fun you've heard of united states of america united condom the soviet onion china chyena germany chad now get ready for thailand when you keep signing up for free trials with different emails i use 10-minute email dude i [ __ ] minion like who are they gonna tell banana every day we stray further from god you wanna you wanna do the naked hokey pokey one of those yellow tic tac characters you just get there's no there's nothing there it's smooth like a ken doll i don't know what you think you're gonna find taking off their overalls but i guarantee you it's nothing pleasant oh panzer of the lake what is your wisdom people who say trust me you can say everything to me while the people we trust the less now leave me to the lake when you finally marry your conservative girlfriend i can touch you now uh uh uh first guy get a bible when your mom sisters will be back soon but the cashier starts scanning your items mom i don't have the card i can't do this any counting ever has oil america do you have that glass crashing sound effects howdy yeah that we'd like to take over to america so we can do this the easily and the hard way the easy way is you cooperate with us we inject some big straws into your land and suck up the oil or the hard way as well we can initiate war and a lot of people are gonna die you're gonna have your cities destroyed price of war is more than just the guns and explosions we're gonna get that oil my friends throw a surprise housewarming party me who lives in an igloo can it be a house cooling party please ign waiting for a game trailer to launch so they can re-upload it on their own channel with ads that's how you game the system all the respect ign fat dog let about it let him out of that jail he didn't do anything wrong he's just a fat dog with fat dog dreams and fat dog aspirations let him out [Laughter] good luck girls or as they say in japan i don't know how well my japanese was there if i said a coherent sentence let me know when you make a joke and everyone ignores you apart from the one guy that laughs thank you i'll never forget this i would fight for you me actually i like feet the kfc employee that asks if i prefer breasts or thighs that's it bring the boy the chicken feet he asks for the feet bring him the deep fried chicken feet do you want the nails attached to no he wants the nails kitty biscuits you need them we need them let's go that's adorable love it when you lmao too much your ass fell right off right just right off ass just just fell off and you know what it doesn't grow back either how do i remember childhood games looking how it actually looked because when you're younger you perceive those graphics as the best you can get the newer kids have it so good i'm not even gonna get there i'm not even gonna get that i'm not even gonna go there not gonna i'm not gonna feel old people losing nerf bullets me who has a cat that magically finds the nerf bullet pathetic could i have it back please adding medieval weapons to dogs playing on the beach needs to become a thing because this looks like they're having a grand old time and not the one that is on the receiving end of the attack here it's kind of an unfair it's a three on one but you know the other three look like they're having a grand old time men will turn four and base their whole personality off of one of these dinosaur construction truck or space good food let them have it let them have at it nobody me looking at how pretty the moon is well be careful because the moon has secrets when you accidentally call your teacher mother but then save it by saying yeah that was a close one henry almost we almost got a little embarrassed there but now we're just in trouble when everyone celebrates a new day but no one celebrates a new night watch because the new knight doesn't have the power of positivity i've i've been really injecting a lot of wrestling references into these videos haven't i i'm gonna convert this entire audience into being a wrestling fan base we'll all go to wrestlemania together and we'll all cheer and cheer and boo and all the wrestlers my treat thank you nokia get it because it the car is in the wall it's submerged it's not coming out it belongs to the lake now girls notebooks boys notebooks are you sure because i'm rocking with the red oh i'd get a rainbow notebook why not why not girls got nothing to wear boys got nothing to play africa got nothing to drink lmfao well it's not necessarily that they have nothing to do they don't want to they don't have anything healthy i don't know if this seems like a rather uneducated meme why not light my memes i like my memes with a bit of sophistication this one ain't it me googling a phone number instead of answering it well your head's in the right place just not your not your not the right time things to do in ohio number one leave leave ohio adults before they turn the page they gotta lick them fingers they get getting the cracks and crevices they go and then turn up make sure they saturate them fingers before you turn the page it's amazing to think what great and exciting things we will be doing with pcs in 30 years man i was so naive back then i was just a kid don't blame me i want to watch this i would like to watch this video people who go on runs right after they wake up me just trying to process being alive take some time i could see you're having a hard time accepting that uh but once once you've accepted it get with the program buddy we're running we're running around me dissects a frog for my science experiment everyone else at the pet store uh why why is he doing this here did he even buy the frog i don't i don't know if he i don't even know if he bought it new phones be like if they get up close and personal with the images i like it i want microscopic lenses on my phone camera the leaning tower of pisa is hollow on the inside huh why do you make a big building and make it hollow what's what's the purpose why make a hollow on the uh why i don't get it what ah we're taking the tower we're fixing it's lean pooping before showering pooping after showering now combine the faces pooping during shower you're welcome me of giving hotspot to my friends helping the poor is my passion the less fortunate they love me they love me hermione ron suck and face well harry's angry don't worry he'll take his sister when you almost lose your [ __ ] but then you remember you're too pretty to go to prison yeah no it's a little white hippopotamus way too pretty it'd be mincemeat hang it up girl boss i don't know that was the right term i just know that that's been going crazy it's a little ironic to me how rich are you oh you know i registered with her so i'm pretty rich she loves her rings so much that she takes off when she goes out with the girl so she won't lose it bro come here oh you poor sweet dump to pure for the world and all of the pains it comes with not one cringy weeb kid who likes to pretend he's that sad introverted protagonist hey dude what up cool binder hey do you want to come over to my house today [Laughter] but they all hated me no they didn't you're just anti-social it's okay your salary won't be very good starting out is that okay well you know my performance won't be very good until it is is that okay just give them the good so you want to know why we're not going back to work idiot that's why just fix it you give your workers love they'll give you love back you can't that's why we're in the hole that's why everyone working in fast food is leaving you see how many places are hiring because they're treating their workers like garbage just get with the program man it's it's easy it makes their own corporation school zone mf that's just the school zone monday through friday sam sam jackson that's not what you think it says don't say it out loud don't say it no it is not school's own [ __ ] no why is it always gonna be that with you coming up next is scooby-doo no not that one no not that one i hate that one you must battle everyone you've ever had sex with all at once how screwed are you oh it's just me an old crazy hand senpai of the pool what is your wisdom go to chrome colon backslash backslash dyno on google chrome to play the dinosaur game at any time fact checking fact checking for everyone here oh it's real baby it's real give me a minute i'm gonna i'm gonna be distracted for just a second here all right made it to 150. diley is now a let's play channel welcome back to the channel my name is damian lee and i am a gamer specifically only gaming on the dino game oh the apes still slinging at each other well yes but now it explodes so that's how they're doing on june 1st something crazy is going to happen the the the professional monkeys are gonna they're gonna show that we exist finally i heard you're good in bed yeah and your dad's a snitch hey are you going to sleep yes i am now shut up the spiders that live in buckingham palace now are probably the descendants of the spiders that lived there during the victorian times it's a whole parallel royal family but with spiders why why are you why are you at a whisper i'm just trying to get a good night's sleep it's healthy for me why do you whisper this i'm gonna take some melatonin or some chamomile or something i'll teach this topic next year teacher next year i'm not going over this topic you should have learned it last year i mean we that was sorry we're gonna learn this year but okay i guess guess i'll die when your mother calls you by your full name and you remember you left your phone unlocked on the table oh no hey can i go to the toilet why didn't you go on break well um for one everyone was wearing fursuits there was people guarding the urinals there was a zoo exhibit and two of the stalls i don't know what to think of i just got pee that's all if you prefer to undermine others rather than improve yourself you are a piece of [ __ ] this isn't a meme this is real canadians normally oops sorry canadians in wars i am fluent in over six million forms that kick in your ass and i'll do all of them all eating poutine that's canadian baby dad calling me a mistake i can handle it it hurts but i can handle it word document putting a red line under my name can't handle that one okay i can't hear that as well thank you guys for watching if you like this video want to see more like it be sure to subscribe and until next time my name is damian you've been watching daily and i'll see you next time [Music] [Music] you

Channel: DeeLee

Views: 318,576

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% true stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, ez pz, reddit funny

Id: lGBp6u9Uz2g

Length: 56min 0sec (3360 seconds)

Published: Fri Nov 19 2021