THE ABSOLUTE BEST OF r/HMMM

everyone's been forgetting the final two pieces to complete exodia the forbidden one his two ton steel balls you play those cards you win the game instantly all right the right and left nut of the forbidden one you know it wasn't until today that i realized that baby's head looks like a kiwi soft and fuzzy and if you press it too hard you'll puncture the fruit oh i do what the separate it suggests oh no i did a hmm i don't know what this axe would be good for but it seems rather incon i think this would be heavier than a regular axe because you got that entire metal handle you've inversed it i think this only makes sense as like a fortnight pickaxe i don't think this works in any other context well you know what to say about you know adopting a cat it's adopting a lifetime of inconvenience in your home because they will find a way if you want attention they don't care if they have to hang upside down by their claws getting right to the quick of the claw though they'll find a way to get the attention they need how the hell is this dog balancing so many oranges on his goddamn head we got how many oranges we got we got three six nine 12 15 oranges we got 15 oranges don't give me that look how you doing that do you have a ring leader is this is there smoking mirrors in this are you just the master of balancing oranges this little citrus circus he's got going on here you okay man you shouldn't have seen yourself in the mirror and now you're cursed forever why is that cat's forearm so big why is that cat's arm in general so big what happened did you just put all the power into one punch and it looks like that i love i love optical illusions i would buy a shirt like this just because listen i'm a real big boy and so i'd make the front of the shirt look crazy and i'd look skinnier on the side it's a win-win this cup is like me on a bad day hanging by threads i feel like this is like the mood of like every working class citizen during this pandemic this cup encapsulates that mood i get the joke it's a funny meme but why an animal crossing this cute little animal did nothing to deserve the casting couch what are the casting for a movie you could say that oh dude you burned your apple you roasted his apple and i think it did i think it's a little too well done are those little dinosaur arms to hang around a chicken so it looks like he's got some meat packing on his forearm i appreciate that but those arms are effectively useless if they were real because those are tiny and they are not effective for any sort of day-to-day activity that a chicken might do like eating seed or you know being a chicken thing things chickens do highly ineffective zero out of ten hey do me a favor and um do what you will with this quote but uh well you know what they say life imitates art or is it art that imitates life oh i hate this guy sorry this is maybe this maybe this made me slap my mic check my credit and get angry this guy decided he was asked to shave or go bald to keep the beard and he said why not a bit of both he's got a business side and a party side and i don't know which one is which hey dude this guy is perfectly blue out it's perfect time to bust out my cloud sign it's like no one even knows it's there playing any lego game and someone asks how much money you got oh you know what i got to judge how rich this man is by the studs he carries i see quite a few purple studs this man's got a bag okay the reverse vending machine if you don't have a can of coke you ain't getting that dollar rest assured but if you shake the machine around a bit you might get a couple of dollars because wait are these poking holes through the dollars so that's great no they're not they somehow got that perfectly aligned back there oh you've done it now you got the chicken police on the case and they're just too cluck and good i love classics i love classic art which one's this uh looks like a piece from the mirage collection if this if this map isn't mirage after i spent so much time trying to find what map it is i'm going to pop a coronary god is coronary even the word i am losing my mind coronary yeah no it's a it's a thing it's a thing i'm going crazy on the on the channel today i'm losing my brain i see this was his original plan for the coup can you imagine that or fox news just she'll have obtained a very special journal very important journal i've written sleepy joe's full name in this journal and you'll not see him for the inauguration that he stole i i think trump would abuse the death note for sure i think he'd write his name in at first just thinking that it was like something to sign just on accident he would his own hubris is his demise i think i don't know what to tell you i wrote the name of the journal in this funny man game oh damn we should make this a real episode of spongebob i think that would be great i think this would make a lot of people realize how uh how bad it is out there for a sponge and a star in the real ocean well isn't that a very important dog on that flight he's looking at me like i did something wrong i don't like that i don't like the stair he's a very judgmental dog just because he flies into first class imagine pulling up in the whip and this is what you're delivering pizza in with your little what's your little domino's head car topper oh my god he had to work at domino's part-time job to pay off for that car ac oh dude it's a kaijin look at this look at this guy he looks pretty friendly though i'm not gonna lie to you no one really seems like perturbed by this he's just chilling out having a good time if you've ever wondered what's behind the podium it's drinks and refreshments to keep our president uh you know satiated because whoo boy does he get parched do you think i'm gonna laugh about this you think i'm gonna laugh because you broke the handle off the van gogh cup you think my brain's that little that i'll laugh at his his lack of ear he's dead he's been dead for so long and you you remade him you brought him into this living plane just to take his ear again unbelievable wait i'm not understanding what's going on here is that exhaust i'm i'm failing to understand what i'm supposed to look at here is that supposed to be the exhaust because how the exhaust was that tube that's down there what's this up here what's going on with that any um any car aficionados tell me what the hell i'm supposed to get there because i have nothing i have zilch oh look it's mad eye kitten or mad eye purdy or some i don't have a cat based pun for mad eye moody as a cat so i actually like these glasses i'm not even gonna i'm not even gonna kid around with you i think these are cool glasses um and i would totally buy a pair the only problem is um i don't know what outfit these would go with i think these are very very cool looking i don't understand why these are you didn't know this this is real thomas the tank engine cannon and it's his face plate they take it off and replace it every five years that's what he looks like underneath the helm go ahead and think about that at night he'll be there without us without his face plate to greet you in your dreams he's executing order fishing fish let's see god this is something that's so hard to make jokes about because it's all just like out of context photographs it's all candid shots and there's no context and i'm over here trying to piece things together so what if so what if he wants to fish he has the power unlimited power let him do it oh i see that each room is themed huh oh hell the sewers are on fire someone get pennywise and the ninja turtles out of there i actually want to know what was kicked down there to set off a fire that's a cool looking shot at the same time this is the loneliest table i've ever seen compactable pro that the half plates are really what's throwing me off here like the fork i can i can forgive that's a little funny the plate being on the hinge is really giving me a little bit of a loop here that's the saddest table i've ever seen he doesn't know how chopsticks work but he's putting in at least some effort he's got he's got the spirit in mind and that's what counts no i can't even come up with a joke for that that was something that took me completely off guard like i get it we're all wearing masks i can't see the lower half of your face but that is no no reason they didn't go around town wearing a gag what's wrong with you what if someone bumps into you then you go oh that's not fun for anyone see i get that what we might be making fun of here is the uh is the hair being on two separate rings and the extensions being on the bottom but can we look at the fact that the shadow makes a little pigtail i like that i think that's an aesthetic i think that's why she does why she chooses to do that like stylistically i think that's her purpose there meg he's making direct eye contact with me i'm uncomfortable i don't like that on the flip side though if i start wearing underwear with smiley faces on you best believe i'm going to start saying hey buddy my eyes are down here but then i'm just turning around it's just two like big googly eyes on both cheeks and then when i walk away the eyes just go jiggle around everywhere me too dog me too i'd be concerned too if someone who's dressed up just like me came up to say hi hey look y'all there's a pile of dirt thanks for the warning appreciate that now i won't get my my shoes all dirty okay that's funny hey sir is there something in your bag there's no one in my bag the unzip it it's just it's a doll or is it no no well let's all be real here this guy's just trying to get on for free and i appreciate that why pay for a ticket when you can just be uncomfortable for a couple hours he was in the back of the car and the cup asked him if he could pump the gas and he's a good guy he's like you know yeah i got you any reason to show off my cool orange crocs and then he does a pose see i want to make a joke about this one but it's just not a good edit the face is too low quality with the rest of the image there's no i can't make a joke for this it's not good try better next time oh my god is that luffy is that from is that one piece is that one piece luffy he bend the shield in half how do you do that why debate politics when you can kiss they did it ah you see i get it it's like lion king we've all chosen the new king of the jungle i wonder what that cat's thinking because the cat looks just as surprised as anyone else would be all right so we got some chef knives we got a cleaver i see a bread knife i see excalibur all right okay all the proper cooking utensils are in order nice job playing soccer on the leaning field idiot actually you know what i can't judge i want to see a game played on the sideways soccer field i i think that's something i deserve to see it's a minotaur but all flesh it's a flesh attar that's a 200 iq move he needs power and to get it he is shining a bright flashlight from his phone right into a solar generator like a solar powered battery bank connected he just he unlocked unlimited power this guy solved the energy crisis get this man a nobel prize speaking of energy crisis good lord imagine he unscrews all those light bulbs and some of the trackpophobia walks into the room immediately just panic sets in so you want to leave the house today think about it complete the maze and you can go out you know get some food maybe do your laundry if you can't solve it how about you just stay inside hey don't use your bathroom just drop the monolith in there sorry if my commentary is dry there's just nothing i can come up with for this this is this is so hard this subreddit has taken everything i've ever had and just making me eat poopy is that a dog watching a tv there's a dog on it watching a tv that has a dog on it and it's two dalmatians maybe he's like watching a home movie maybe that's what this is i have no idea what this is supposed to represent i don't understand any of this if someone understands what this is like referencing i am all ears because i i ain't got nothing for this oh sh wait a minute no i know what this is about i know exactly what this is about you see the chicken tendies the chicken nuggets are reenacting where will it be i like this they're just a couple of toads having a business transaction what'll it be mario you're playing a different kind of game now i remember this in my super mario titles rises up just a kick you got a light give him a light and he'll go back down but until then he's giving you a death stare i have not seen a more appropriate example of the if it fits a sitz cat he is in that jug he's become a liquid he's taken up the contents of the container i'm honestly kind of impressed hey yo he's on his break don't you dare interrupt him he's too busy playing minecraft right on the pos system right now so you need you need some money back let's see i got uh i got a 50 i got a 20 got some coins i got a fried egg do you take fried egg you know what this post has got me curious does that work can you connect a mouse to the phone or is this like an aesthetic look i don't understand you've heard about sweaty weeaboo men getting body pillows of women but have you heard about sweaty weeaboo women getting body pillows of men here's your example i teach my notes are looking kind of weird i copied them down exactly as i saw them and uh i'm not sure if i'm understanding what you're trying to teach me all right everyone gather around your queen is online whoa what oh that's actually kind of baller that's really well done like i can't i can't make fun of it i can't crack a joke about it because that's just a genuinely impressive job good for you i'm going to bite your pez because ain't because she ain't got no neck because it's a pest dispenser i don't know what you want from me okay this is you you put this subreddit on my in my hands i'm giving you the best i could make you tossed me the spoiled food i simply made you the dinner i like that guy that guy's got a good sense of humor hey you might think she looks goofy but she's staying safe as hell and i can respect that but also i feel so bad that we have to do things like this because other people won't you know protect themselves for other people's sakes it's like kind of a double-edged sword of me being proud of the steps taken and disappointed that they have to take those steps oh god the pope just imbued the power of god into this guy's face and he's gonna do it again here's the thing i know for a fact that that's a photoshop fist but it does not look like it pope francis said oh you don't believe in god don't don't believe in jesus and then i i will pay for that oh no they've joined the parakeets for putin movement i gotta get new ones the four scariest bosses of resident evil 7 biohazard obviously was the dad the goop monsters alex jones who was in the dlc you didn't know that it's real it's in uh whistleblower conspiracy theory time it's a resident evil dlc and who can forget all hey yo no i'm gonna put a ticket on my on my squid my squid gets towed i'ma be pissed that's actually kind of dope i think that's really cool you mean all that himself and the screens light up and everything that's awesome that's how i know that jerry of tom and jerry fame was indeed a gamer who made these ice men so sad is it because they know they're going to melt oh you're you're a bad kind of person you're an illusionist if you're wondering how they made shrek which in a little secret it was body tracking speaking of shrek we got a mega fan right here we have shrek 1 2 super slam shrek the third i'm going to read every titleist then they've got shrek extra large for the gamecube shrek super party shrek's carnival craze he's a bonafide ogre maniac now yo teach keep talking stand exactly there and make it a masterpiece what's your what what's your dream career i gotta know do you mind if i transfer your consciousness into my sims professor that's what you get for disrespecting her dude smacked all the way back smack you into stone oh boy does smooth pbnj super heat is he playing snake on a old og phone emulator on an ipad okay okay i see you speaking of snakes check this one out right here in the sand ain't that something sweet baby cheese is that real no no that's not your car anymore dude oh wait it's zoomed in and zoomed in i'm so sorry i thought that for whatever reason i thought that the bottom half wasn't zoomed in and was like a full like regular sized spider and i felt my body start to like condense and it can join into one just lumpy mass i got really scared really just really fast hey you like spoilers how many because he's got plenty to go around two kinds of spongebob costumers one who doesn't know what they're doing and the other who knows all too well jack daniel spray for the alcoholic in your home that needs a little bit more discipline or maybe it's like a room freshener just freshen it with the smell of bourbon it's whiskey i know but all congratulations annoying orange you've given birth to 12 oranges 12 slices oh she knows how to party she's got three of those little party favors that go whenever you blow into it on top of her head connected to one straw she's ready to celebrate well you see that's the kind of sushi i eat it's um definitely not some the kind you're used to but i hope you do enjoy it all the same i made it myself i made it special the grind never stops that's why i replace my bed sheets with the with the pool if i'm gonna get first place for my breaststroke i gotta keep training i sleep with the speedo on tell me where that truck's gonna go what bridge is he getting under what are you storing in that anyway an obstacle course what's in there damn that bottle is thick that bottle got a full donkey dunk i wonder why that's the stamp you went with all right no i took me a bag that like that just jolted my whole system i think there's someone out there with that on their back good god hey yo so we're gonna lance off by hand we found a message in a bob that's a big bottle too that's a big bottle you ever seen an apple stop a door how about now bmw engaged spongebob watch in play playboy mode activated hello this is cute i like this one i get that it's nuts and bolts and and vice grips but you know what it's recreating the spark of life and what's beautiful what's not beautiful about that for centuries he spoke of him the yo-yo king and there he is with his yo-yo of ancient time and space one wrong yo-yo trick and you're put back in the dimension he used from i'm eating my meatloaf in my stuffy room there's hello kitties and other kinds of sweet little creatures in here to keep me safe while i snack and have a nutritious meal come come stay a while the room is soft and plush now this pose isn't even confusing my man is just uh he's at peak efficiency hands-free so he could still work is that super mario in the back oh it's a painting it's not a game he's not gaming during work it's it's work then play not play than work get his priorities in order these cookies are so good that i had to wear a hazmat suit just to save myself from the deliciousness that's awaiting inside this cookie tray now once we bake these you can guarantee that all bets are off and i'm going to be going hands first into the hot tray but until then safety first oh is this like one of those balconies that like can can adjust so that we can either like stand on it or look outside of it i'm not sure what's going on here but that that is at a very clear slant there is no guard rail this is like uh something makes me feel very uncomfortable oh my god it's cello man here to stop crime and bang out the tunes there's is there a pocket there as well check it out there's like a pocket on there too this is where any uh the penguins madagascar this is where their metal cousins have their base of operations you know don't even get it twisted they've graffitied their names across the doors you see that there's so many of them too there's at least like 10 or 11 of them all these doors here at the bottom it's terrifying the the metal penguins oh you know they may not be able to see but that doesn't mean they can't shred gnar all right i want to be sure that we're perfectly clear on something they're going crazy this is this is gaming with accessibility settings turned on holy is he okay his hunger took him too far um this is like the kfc's double down where it's like you have to prove yourself worthy to eat it this is the same idea just in burger form just in beef form hey if you if you've got a cut into my line at least use your time signal buddy that's what the dog's saying he's like hey i'm trying to drive my kids to school and you cut off into my lane turn around your turn signal almost rear-ended you and i'm a dog so rear ends i gotta smell first is he controlling his house with a mouse is that the house of mouths hey listen we all going to go through temperature checks even our furry feline friends and if they want to get on this plane i gotta make sure they're not having a fever you know what this is you know what this is referencing right you know what you know what this means i'm not gonna i'm not gonna spell it out for you i'm not i'm not gonna hold your hand through this you know exactly what that is it's a bank robber and that's their mask no one can see you you're okay i like the pants that are themed like a like bark i actually think that's really clever so points for style there warship god and then slide down the kid we feel that we fill that water slide up with the blood of christ and you slide down it it's like a baptism a hard day at school huh especially when you're the only one with blue hair out of all of them but that means you're gonna be the main character oh no at least six and twelve are where they're supposed to be dear god this is a you know i've never understood the rgb craze but this is to another level i'm not even sure what i'm looking at here i don't know anything about building pcs but if someone if i got this pc would you would you as a viewer if you know about pcs tell me i got a bad deal be honest because i'd pay i'd pay nana at least half a rack for that dear god he's plugged into the pizza he's gaming with flavor i heard you had that kobe beef burger i just thought i'd stop by and tell you that i'm watching that's right i'm the chick-fil-a cow and if i ever catch you eating a burger again i promise you i promise you that won't be as nice no thank you uh i prefer to keep oh that makes me cringe oh well he's just on his he's just on a date with his rtx card he just got it and he he beat scalper prices can you really blame him hey this is what a real real uh deer looks like real buck okay so i don't i don't see you making fun of nature buddy wait is that an umbrella for a dog they're not even caring about themselves they don't care if they get wet but they've hooked this dog up with a perfect apparatus for staying dry i'm gonna get this for blue oh that is perfect that is genius i made a joke like this in one of the last videos but imagine walking out that back door and just the cruel lord playing the sims game in the sky moved us to the top floor and didn't give us stairs oh the demons inside the costume are thirsty understandable just take a sip and then go back to entertaining children so this is a salvador dali drum set why is it melting oh man you know i i hate to say it but ever since sesame street went off the air elmo has been really struggling to find work and it's sad to see that it's come to this it's like i remember that movie me and brianna just watched this recently it reminds me of the happy time murders where after the tv show went off the air all of the main members of those of the show uh the happy time gang went out and like were all like either addicted to drugs or having resorted stripping like this is like no this is the same thing just with sesame street i don't get this one like i understand this is a final fantasy reference but i've never played final fantasy so i don't understand the significance behind this meme so sorry this is this is welcome to another episode of damien doesn't get the meme this time final fantasy there's a lot to break down in this image the dog was spittle leaving its face clearly shocked and surprised running it was running straight kicked to the side the blank expression of the cat and the glowing yellow omnipotent eyes there's a lot to break down that that cat predicted that dog's every move and lined up a shot from four yards away that is what happened here that is why that dog is like getting kicked in the face you know you know not not to do but to go fishing i guess you know just me my sports car in the open ocean yeah but dabba do i have to pay the toll love it you hopped into a box didn't you i got a package and you said let me hop in well guess what i covered it packing peanuts stupid what'd you learn don't give me that look either you did it you did it to yourself oh he's covered in foil it looks melted on though is it like a is it like a like a sheet there's something different about this foil it looks almost like like liquid mercury just dripped onto them oh tell us a joke frog man tell us a joke what is he gonna say no one knows that she did it for the life insurance money and now she's gonna go live in cabo oh that's fun the like stitched on mushrooms growing onto the chair as if it was aged but it's cushions it's not real mushrooms that's fun that's a fun little gag yo i've seen this account on tick tock okay so this account makes like weird-ass furbies and i am here for it i think this is cool and it looks like a delicious little orbeez sandwich you know they have to look business professional but just under the desk that cat's having a lazy sunday where is whoa there's a lot wrong here the more i look at this image four fingers no thumb what's happening this is like a cartoonish spy disguise this is like when they have to do a sting operation on someone they think like stole the blood diamonds they're hiding in a shrub with binoculars however this is a really good disguise and i wouldn't notice that on a walk hey bring me the wrench doug i gotta i gotta get under this car this muffler thank you wrench dog i appreciate you oh how fun how fun is that i actually i'm really fond of this i'm really fond of this little cupboard here i like it a lot a couple of what are these cappy bears they're just chilling they're just friends uh a lady and her cappy bros go ahead make the jump and sit on the couch if you god damn dare he's just riding a horsey nothing wrong with that just you know he's a cowboy baby oh he's surfing his human across the air it's like he covered himself in oil and it's raining yo are those mechanical keyboard shoes imagine the sound of a mechanical keyboard clickity-clacking as you're walking god i this always makes me annoyed now that i like understand that these lines are painted on it's not like a machine that lays the paint down and the car spins out all cartoony style no someone had to go do this and mess it up on purpose on purpose mind you like this is not like your normal kind of like accident this is very clearly a like this was done with some purpose to to go all around and loop-de-loop like that like you're tying your shoes spongebob style no this was done with reason obey nintendo buy gamecube games you want to play mario kart double dash in super mario sunshine don't you but don't you even think about getting the nintendo safeguard you go by luigi's mansion it's a me mario and you will be ass he will be a little pig to nintendo forever that being said he's she's bowing down which i understand because i would too this is completely respectable ugh i'm getting tired of seeing like food and places food does not belong that's just starting to really grate on my nerves i'm not even gonna lie to you guys it's just like it's disheartening to see every day just beans where beans shouldn't be you know what i mean oh horrifying i like the the few people who don't have the mickey mouse masks on they've broken the simulation this is what it looks like this is the entire disney plus subscriber base in one room i'm making loads of money getting loads of honeys eating loads of honey and i'm just a little kitty cat who are you i'm broke the pan of the lord blessed be this pan of christ cooking my eggs frying my rice every sunday morning and sunday night my jesus pan makes me feel quite all right amen all right well this is rather confusing there's a lot going on here so it's a it's a it's a cemetery and we're paying our respects but also do we have to pay to pay our are we literally paying our respects what's going on here winnie the pooh the leader of the chinese communist party just relaxing having a conversation about what what to do next as a government power all right who drove kyle's mom's suv who drove her minivan right into the pool dude not cool oh no he didn't break anything but somehow he got it right into the pool she hopped the fence it's kind of sick but now his mom's pissed he's gonna ground him dude he's 23 years old still gets grounded this is understand i don't know why you're showing me this bird in the bathroom i'm i respect this bird's privacy i don't need to see this oh hey hey joe put it down hey buddy you're gonna patch this stimulus and you want to you want to patch this stimulus oh my god a hyper flame i've actually never seen a flame purple like that so i would love to know how hot that stove is it looks like you removed the they've removed something from it though i feel like this is not a natural burner this feels like it's been enhanced and i'm not not sure why or how imagine if you had to assemble every sandwich like this on my mental acuity would be out of this world but i wouldn't be happy about it you know what i mean like i would i would be doing so good in puzzles but i would not be happy about having to solve an equation to eat lunch basically because that's what puzzles are they're just they're they're they're they're equations and i don't like it very much you know oh i hate that then that that's just not pleasant to look at it all i don't like the the zip open mouths i think i've seen this on a diy we did recently these i'm just not fond of in the slightest i'm gonna be i'm gonna keep it a buck i don't know about you guys but i think this guy's gonna win a race like you might be confident in your little race car my man's on a turbo shopping cart my man plays fortnite and he's on a turbo shopping cart he he he has nothing but confidence some jet fuel and a dream and when you have those things i i feel like you're pretty unstoppable oh come on come on no not to the toilet paper there was a shortage just a year ago oh you don't respect things oh what the hell why is she like is she hunting why does she have it in her mouth why is she in that stance you already know she's she swam without using any of her but like without using her arms or legs she used her body like one big tail like she's an eel that is exactly how she moved across the ocean to achieve catching a fish of that size oh you know how they say in a glass house you shouldn't throw stones what about in a stone house with a stone car can i throw glass please answer my question i'm very curious to know what's better than just just some chicken nuggets some budweiser some barbecue sauce and a nice refreshing shower ah what's better than that i dare you i dare you to give me something better than that you're not gonna be able to because there's nothing more relaxing than after a hard day's work taking a load off flip it on a hot shower ordering yourself from some mcdonald's from doordash popping that bad boy open this sounds like a great day you know what i mean sound like a real good day oh my god he's got he's in the hall of shrek my man is the biggest shrek fan to have existed and he's got the collection to prove it you know what i mean well i've never seen a man's shrek collection look so you know so filled out he's got a buffed out shrek collection kind of envious i'm not kind of freaking jealous oh geez he's got it all on vhs too so you know this guy's a real like super fan you could piss and wash your hands at the same time what's the what's there the hate what's that i hate answer me this but you can't answer that because it's a this is this is peak convenience and as a man who operates solely off of convenience i will take two send this to your parents no context it's a ball first of all this is a very long car it's not even a limousine this is the long car second of all why is it riding solo these are the questions i have and i need them answered before i feel okay oh this is a classic image have you guys seen this one the man feeding his hands smoking a cigarette bro mike and ikes okay i'm gonna tell you guys this right now if i ever opened a p.o box and you wanted to send something uh send mike and x because that is my favorite candy of all time if you ever see me on the street and you want to and you want to make my day a box of mike and eggs will do the trick granted i actually i can't eat mike and eggs anymore because i'm on keto but if i wasn't eating if i wasn't eating healthy mike and ike's favorite candy of all time oh oh i don't like the jeepers creepers pillow not a fan someone someone get to go out of here he's he's suffering some sort of some sort of illness don't let his tiger friend see and then his tiger friend's like what's going on over there is he okay no he's not okay i don't have any joke for this um i just would like know where i could purchase this please please please tell me reckon where'd you get where'd you get that toothpaste topper i want to buy that oh this looks like something you'd see at an imaginarium who's using the third unit the the middle one right there the tall urine whose is that i would love to know oh that's kind of sick i'm gonna check out when i get when i when i get a car i'm gonna check out my car with some decal like that is that whatsapp cologne what does that smell like zuckerberg we're gathered here today to remember those that we've lost if we could put a roach out for the roach that'd be nice a bench this is just a checkpoint this is where you save okay this isn't even like abnormal this is just a real life checkpoint solve the mystery right there oh this is awesome no i actually love this this is great i'm also a little loud there we go i fixed it i fixed it a mod bike smile i wanted back support from my bike from a boy because there's two people there it's not just one person there is a second set of shoulders there that that is two people and he wanted a mod and now his best friend can ride with him this would this would be sturdy but at the same time if this falls over it i can never use this ladder again it seems like a trade-off i might be willing to make for that one-time sturdiness what is going on here he's at a bus stop but he's like halfway what where is this bus stop the bayou what is this why is he in there can we get him out oh no the candy corn there's a reason i don't like candy corn it's because you can have you have snakes and creepy crawlies and little critters hiding inside the batch of your candy corn exactly why i don't need it all of a sudden there's a critter in my mouth and i don't want that i don't want all those legs in there or lack thereof in this case get out of my way i have something i must do the car lights this actually i don't have a lot of jokes for this i just kind of admire i like to think that there was just a really angry man a group of dudes who were mad this was like their way of riding was hollowing out the roof of the car and just sticking it on a lamppost and all of a sudden we got light baby are you relaxed or are you thinking which one are you are you ignorant or do you perceive which carrot are you the perception carrot or the ignorance carrot well he he he ignored a couple of steps but he the chair is it's doing what it was meant to do i mean it's like pokemon this is the pre-evolution of the chair you're trying to have i wonder if i turn the fan on the mic we'll hear it cause i am sweating my bulls off my knacking bowls i'm sweating them right off ah yes i love an affront to god burger d wishes that is a disgusting amount of ketchup as well that is oozing that burger is gushing i hate it it's bursting there is nothing wrong with washing your food before you eat it we do it with vegetables why not our packaged goods right inside you good buddy what do you see in there bore a hole out bore a hole that's not how you install a wall ac but i like your spirit buddy there's a lot wrong with this in my mind but i can't do anything about it i think that's the worst part i just gotta let it be i gotta let it exist isn't this relaxing just saying we're not done adding cucumber slices buddy we gotta get you smothered covered and absolutely coated and only then will your skin come out fresh and beautiful and then the eyes are covered the ears are stuffed with slices mouth open whole cucumber yo a slam dump get it no balls gonna make it through that hoop what are you watching while you're exercising man what is what what is on the screen there is that is that patrick wilson who is that ah i see you've caught a fish let her back into the ocean she looks spoiled she just doesn't look right mmm phone yummy hungry is yeah i love foam because it expands it's like i just have to eat a little bit and all of a sudden i'm stuffed this is the most daring fox i have ever seen in my entire life this fox is playing with god right now that is that is that is brave it's the gabenberger how many years in development was this gabe tell me do i get do i get you to count to the funny number if you if i finish it all in 25 minutes that is how it'd be though when you got to blow a cartridge this man is just this was on all of the official nintendo manuals back in the day uh if you got you know your nintendo from where i got my nintendo and he said hey blow on the card just blow on it a little bit why not it's funny and it was finally the final form try getting through this general kenobi oh this is awesome actually look at all these bert there's one in the water that doesn't he doesn't quite know what he's doing that's okay but these guards here they're guarding the post they know exactly what's going on oh oh something about this gives me the heebie-jeebies i don't like that you've stitched the gummy bears together to make some sort of conglomerate gummy what dog breed is this hold on what is this is that a sami what is that it's got the luxurious white coat and the smile did you you're not supposed to cut your stamps oh god if that's a smoya you're not supposed to do that man oh no uh what are you doing sir oh you know getting crazy in the office it's my it's my pre-global leader uh ritual oh that's kind of a hardcore sorry brick is chewing on a chair leg frick what are you doing buddy hey i can just pull you by your legs wherever i wanted to take you couldn't anyway if you're driving a hot rod that has a semi back to it that's a power statement i think this speaks this guy he screws he doesn't yeah screws he bangs he humps i'm this guy hops a humble little v-neck are you good grandma why do you have that i have no idea why she has the head lamp i don't know what this is for that fridge is covered in magnets this is an old lady let's go dude that's how you make use of the boy boobies i do that every day of my life until i get pegs oh god am i the only one who hates how flat horse teeth are they look like real teeth like real people teeth i hate it that is a superhero don't no no no two ways about it that guy has a superpower in his hands he has the power of wind he's an airbender move over aang there's another one of y'all hanging around here that's kind of sick is that like an earring accessory what is that is that a hair clip that's kind of dope actually i like that why is this that's actually really cool you dare show me craft punk as if i won't know who this man is it's craft punk casuals get out of here well it sure ain't a limenade that's that's a stupid joke dude grandma is yolked did the kids not accept hard candies what happened okay well this i don't understand the purpose of because i don't see a way for the the the flame to be lit otherwise they're just always on when the watch is on what is a how how do i replace the lighter fluid i have a lot of questions about this because it seems like it'd be nice otherwise oh man i love when people do weird things with their cat that cat does not want to be there that cat is unhappy man you see him you're gonna strap that down in the car how are you gonna take that home buddy you ain't gonna get under no bridge pal that is that is risky oh we i now pronounce you trooper and wife you now may kiss the bride but don't miss i get it i like when owners make greeting holes for the dogs that way they can say hi to the neighbors whoever happens to walk by it's very nice because the dogs are going to be curious to hear them walk and they got good hearing they're going to hear them walk give them a chance to say hello you cover that cat nurbs is that cat in a wok what is that cat in so is that a hand pan what what device is this kitten in and why is he covered in leaves that that was a good hmm i had no idea what was going on there yeah just working on the working on the baby trying to make sure she purged right anyway you got a milk bone from me or something buddy don't you dare do that you kitty cat the boy rats like he's like wait what's going on don't you dare they're having a service oh hey it's the police mr mine why why you got mr mime in the back of the truck what happened he looks sad come on let him out wow you're how many mufflers do you need man how loud does this car need to be for you if you like one rev of the engine that's gonna fall apart what a funky little trinket what is this those dogs in a rocket ship i don't why and why does it look like fine china what's going on does that snap do snails have mouths that's so weird like it seems like a weird like obvious question but you even you never watch a snail much do you does it eat like people eat the demons i just don't know and i want to know you know i want to learn that's real silly that's real funny they like that it's a funny little gag you got going on there with the banana in your nose again with the muffler situation what is the like what is what are you going to accomplish with this who is this for because it's certainly not for me bro osha is speeding to your location this is horrifying oh dude that that makes me sweat i don't like that god is in that ladder right now jesus is holding that bad boy up and should he ever discover one of your sins while you're hammering that nail in you're gone buddy why are you spraying the five-year-old with pepper spray look at his face he's five years old come on can't you see that's just three five-year-olds on top of one another dog that dude must be real mad now huh filling up on all that oil just to have it all get ruined a little bit later nice job idiot are you telling me my anime figures who i have body pillows of i can buy body pillows of them for them my body pillows can have body pillows that is crazy dude oh you know carrying plagues getting some corona some lime having a party what plague doctors do baby yo it's him it's dimitri ever since he had that science experiment go wrong he's had the kitty cat head but he still parties getting the prawn bike forget about tron baby it's all about prawn what the hell happened here so we just built homes into the mountainside is that just it this looks like what i would do in minecraft is this a minecraft this is a weird looking texture pack well that seems counter-intuitive to have the drain there and i feel like this might be the most obvious bit of commentary in the entire video this just seems like a this this just isn't there's nothing funny about this you're gonna have a bunch of stale water you need a shop vet to clean it all up and belch it out into the actual why who who designed this doritos and lays means the kitty cat sleeps a-okay that's what i always say that's a rhyme the first thing came to my head was an elephant sound effect like a bear you know the elephant noise when he like screams from his trunk no no that was just that was the first thing that came to mind and i loved it you know it's showing you the biology of an oven you get eaten then you slide right out i don't think your usbc should be smoking like that are you a vape gun is this a vape are you this is a vape god he's blowing clouds me and my baby sucking sausages you know how it is i love her what kind of print is this on your car that's kind of sick that's kind of cool dude coming in making a statement this i hate much more i hate i hate the sausage spray yeah keep that away from me keep that 10 feet away from me don't spray me with it i'll kill you i'll kill you touch me with the sausage spray what are you doing dude that is a chill looking pooch oh he is relaxed baby hell yeah oh you think he needs the front wheel to get away with it absolutely not iron man no no no no no that's paper mache pal this is a cool picture of manatees dude this is some really weird looking manatees did you did you drink all the water in there did you eliminate a member of the family by eating all of the fish and then drinking the water what are you now you're resting there oh i don't like that sandwich that sandwich makes me feel things that i didn't think i'd ever want to feel and i don't want to feel them like disgust confusion fear i don't like it oh it scared me i thought that was a cop car oh yeah that's a cop car i'm not sure what i'm looking at here but it seems like these trucks have been abandoned these transformers staying here until it's time for their call of duty godspeed you autobots that's actually kind of dope that's intimidating that's kind of intimidating just unscrew the top and then i can hear you clearly that's sick well i take that back because i can explain this right away a heineken in the hand or laying back in the sun clout goggles engaged cigarette looks like it's the wrong way though buddy you okay you're supposed to put the butt end in your mouth you know what he looks absolutely dripping with swag i can't i can't judge his smoking habits is there any particular reason we're all our knees friends is this a holy atm don't tell nobody but this was the prototype for the cyber truck that's elon's that's elon's personal prototype takes it out to go get i don't know whatever elon musk eats motherboards cpus i don't know and this is where the magic happens don't touch the lights they're 100 years old and haunted oh look at this if it's not the high heels of one wife of dr bees gotta be fashionable and support her husband at the same time he brings a gift but the gift is still moving i hope you don't mind this small discrepancy in my usual habits of hunting that's actually exactly how airpods work if you didn't know now you know and you're welcome for the information you ever not want to wash dishes but still want a burger don't do this this is not what you're supposed to do but i admire the ingenuity 10 out of 10. ah yes i want to take a photo with a family but i'm only 13 days in the quarantine so they gotta do what they gotta do smile for the camera everybody happy birthday you don't eat bread so we got you a banana it's hard to get you a birthday cake when you don't eat cake you know but blow up the candles on your birthday banana make a wish whoever this is has a sense of humor i appreciate this person i love this know that infinite chocolate bar hack that's how he did this can't prove me wrong but you also can't prove me right either and that's the magic of our slash we've got you trapped now cotton i don't know what this is for i'm trying to come up with a joke for this but this is a cone in a cage we finally got em watch your step man oh my god that's like a that's easily like a 10 foot drop open the door just started going to work oh no maybe some steps or a ladder or maybe like a rope to climb down something be better than nothing outside of live farms well we got what is that a cow in the backseat of goose in the front seat who's driving oh dude i love depth standing those hands are oh no wait a minute oh he's practicing safe we love a health conscious king go ahead open the door this door requires one blood sacrifice per guest open the door oh no it's the titan from the end of the cabin in the woods he's coming everywhere now he's climbing up the building he forgot to turn off the oven how did you even get up there and how are the wires holding you there's multiple questions i have here oh is that a hold on i think i just answered my own question is that like a i think it's being held by something up at the top there because i'd be like i am very impressed that these power wires are are are holding this vehicle in place like a wrestler stuck between the ropes he's in perfect position for a 619. rey mysterio is waiting you're going to take a photo and you're going to like it and the grey cat's like no smile damn it the black cat's not having any of it never be fearful of your banking details leaking ever again with the privacy hoodie you're welcome you know i actually think i i i think i don't like this even more than the last thing i just looked at i think i hate this even more we're slowly leaving territory into cursed image territory and i i really am not liking the path uh of destruction this is creating and it gets worse i didn't know it could get worse why are there faces in the jar who are the faces of why is one smiling at the top is it because he's close to the exit close to freedom all right this is this is tolerable he's just the best sagging man in the whole world he's achieved ultimate sag but those pain it's like having starched pants he cannot walk for sure i guarantee it oh that's kind of cool if i pull on all the strings do i unravel her and she just becomes a bunch of ribbon on the floor what happens is she just made of ribbon or is that just like is she vomiting rainbows what's the deal come on just touch the finish line with your tongue you got it you're so close you're so close could chomp the finish line we got a machete we got a baby a baby's feeding we got the ocean it's power beat mania 2 on the ds steal a stylus now you got two oh look at this funky little guy this funny little lizard he seems like a friendly guy but who's on the phone oh oh i hate that you hadn't you had my hope so high only to show me a rice filled doughnut come on come on get it together check out my casket pc when my grandma dies i won't be able to use it anymore so i'm gonna try and speed run halo and beat it on the story mode before she kicks the bucket and her ekg is going crazy so i don't got a lot of time this is actually my this is actually my scooter um yes i do also use it as a bathroom and it's actually that which fuels it so it's incredibly eco-friendly uh and if you're if you don't like it you're part of the problem i don't even i don't have a joke for this who are these people what are you doing up there you scout you heroes villains mayor duos i don't know whoa well now we know who's been making those mysterious footprints in the woods big foot well it's not the right animal for donkey but that is indeed that is that is shrek that's a shroud not shroud the streamer a shroud a shrek cow oh this looks like an accident waiting to happen like your intentions are kind of cool with it being attached to the skateboard but i already know someone's going to eat on this they're going to shred nar and then shred skin what's going on what is this all right is the sloth the mastermind behind it all is this just a husk is that a person behind them or is it just stuffed with hay like a scarecrow i have lots of questions sloth you better start talking and talk fast i know it's a challenge for you see that face that's a face of contentness knowing that all problems of the world all responsibilities just melted away when i put on the shell and lambda myself up in beef tallow so i'm living what are you doing oh cool fish in the soap dispenser make sure you clean your fish before you eat them i mean that's just that's just a basic rule have a fun night out you two maybe she maybe she should be dressed before you take her home squirrel it seems kind of rude wait what just give me what this is for this seems wildly inconvenient but it looks like it worked i want to try it what oh well this looks entirely made of the felt i would be grossed out if the chicken looked more realistic but it doesn't so i'm okay i'm okay with this and that's this is perfect the swings are like that so when you get to the wall you can kick off the wall and get more height on the back end it's wonderful and this is just a horse enjoying a nice meal what's so um about this i think you're the real for thinking if this is a questionable image let the horse enjoy its meal connected but separate his and her phones love it hers and hers phones because no one wants to talk is that me what is that homeboy's naked on this on the bus is that the is this a government regulated naked fat man on the bus i don't understand i like the appropriate censorship so i can't see no crack but who is this man and why is he here whoa sweet tooth is this the last smash fighter the teacher took away all the phones until you finish your tests i get it but hey it's right white that's why you write the answers down in the palm of your hand like look at the guy in the front that's what he's doing he's checking his hand smart guy and that's why must be why the cat is staring so intently oh that's actually kind of creepy okay so i always have like any time me and brianna go out for a drive um and since we live in california we'll see like mountains when we hit the road and i've always been like what if a hand just came up from behind the mountains and you saw a giant person stand up and start doing the doggy or something and then that's where they live they live inside of mount rushmore perfect thank you guys for watching if you like this video want to see more like it be sure to subscribe and until next time my name is damian you've been watching daily and i'll see you next time you

Channel: DeeLee

Views: 328,942

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% true stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, ez pz, reddit funny

Id: -S59jJlLqV0

Length: 57min 50sec (3470 seconds)

Published: Fri Oct 15 2021