Some of The Best of “All Over the Map” | JEFF DUNHAM

took place in london oh yeah okay yeah you know i dated her for a while you dated mary poppins yes i did no yeah i did we were very young oh really yeah okay i was the first guy to get into her chim-chim chareen kind of ruined things going into the moment of fashion she started screaming some weird word it was like super california refrigerator x3 delicious lotion something like that pretty kinky chick i'll tell you that much so peanut what has impressed you most since we've been in england uh i love this country because just about everything is double entendre like what oh come on eating the food bangers and nash come on that's sausages and potatoes it sounds like a male dance team or two guys dating i don't want to be nash all right have you seen anyone famous since we've been here yes i actually did i saw victoria beckham you did not i did too i think she was facing me and then when she turned sideways she disappeared did you know that the very first x-ray was taken right here in burma in england in 1896 you'll call it an x-ray i call it a selfie so what did you do today i saw where they keep all those useless wax figures ah madame tussaud's whack museum no no parliament with that in mind have you learned anything since we've been here uh i've learned that the folks in birmingham like to be called bronies right so i took that knowledge forward unfortunately the folks in scotland do not like to be called scummies oh they got all pissed off i don't know what the hell they were saying you know they're trying to talk to an angry scott good god [Applause] did you know that the reverend wilbert audrey wrote thomas the tank engine books here really so a clergy lin came up with books for young boys well you know what they say what's that right let you know they were talking this guy in the front row he's very calm talking to their nose not you okay what was your first name again what nabil had a first nail or something you'd take medicine to get rid of is that a family name they're just parents drunken is that a common english name no what a what i'm from oh you're from iraq what the look at the odds learning in england get the over my rack in the front road okay now i've forgotten your name is that abdul habit net none naboo nobile holy crap can i call you bob [Applause] [Music] i know a little fact did you know that people in scotland buy 40 bottles of whiskey every second this is my favorite country ever [Applause] glad nascar in the uk in the what in the uk oh the uk oh you can still but glasgow is uh you told me it was confusing for you yeah it is why yesterday at lunch my waitress asked me if i wanted some teddy's nips and i said yes instead of taking off her top she brought me food it was the worst strip club i'd ever been to teddies and napes are served with haggis well she didn't show me that either but next week we're in australia so that's when i'll see down under did you know that that golf was invented in scotland fascinating you know what else questions they did here what being in public and yelling wait we might use that on the dvd and they're not gonna let us say take two yeah you wanna do the joke again yeah what the hell why not it's a good joke they laugh that is i can do that all right here we go take two apples you're talking about the you know hello the way they speak okay now look we're in their country and they speak normally i know some scottish really oh yeah i learned it okay ready i watched the video it's like this i can't do it captain how about the loch ness monster how's that well do you believe in a mysterious creature that lives in the murky depths and breathes fire believe in it i married its sister a lot of famous actors are scottish like who sean connery ewan mcgregor gerard butler what about benedict cumberbatch no no well he's a famous actor but he's british i know i just like saying that hey they'll show you my benedict if you show me your congregation we've been talking about scotland a bit oh yes i read the other day that scotland is actually the i've saved this fact for you the murder capital of europe i didn't do it i have nothing to do with this did you know that bagpipes have existed in scotland since the 14th century oh that is totally about the time the murder rate went up did you know that i think my mother was taught scottish why do you say that sometimes she'd want to put me in scottish clothing really oh sure she'd say i killed you kill kill get it killed i killed you jackie dawson jackie where are ya jackie lay off the testosterone you sound like a guy you this is why in my country we cover our women where i am mari right i can't roll my arms don't worry i got it okay last name christy is she here up there with the guy that sounds like a chick she says uh dear ahmed i have a problem with strange people touching me i would love to tell them i will kill them but that can come across as rude any other suggestions put their clothes back on and get off the pole can you please wish lisa lamont a happy birthday hey no okay okay lisa happy freaking birthday yay how old are you what what the hell she say how old oh oh yeah okay she's the 30th 30. i'm gonna take this thirty and thirty you dancer [Applause] a scottish dead terrorist that is something i can work online [Applause] did you know that they have the oldest tree in norway right here in bergen if i want to see some old wood i'll take a viagra thank you thank you [Music] did you know the first ever ski jumper was from norway let me guess married and miserable so you've never been snow skiing actually yes once broke a leg oh i bet that hurt i don't know what in my leg another thing you know you better not get caught driving drunk why well if you're caught you have to spend 30 days in jail they suspend your license and then they find you 10 percent of your annual so income would be twelve dollars do you know where i can buy some whiskey around here well in norway that you can only buy liquor from special stores called uh good god then how do you say it yeah that the vietnamese so do you know about the midnight sun huh the midnight sun is that norway's that man now in the summer some parts of norway get 24 hours of sunlight what they have 24 hours of sunlight that's almost a whole day so we've done a lot of interesting things while in norway yeah this morning i knocked the goat oh acne got mad at me i think i was touching his chick on another subject i was talking about with walter the norwegians invented skiing oh really yeah in norwegian the word ski means piece of wood oh yeah a piece of wood can i try speaking norwegian sure okay that hot lady in the front row is giving me a big ski heard something else interesting that you know where the norway sends uh sweden it's garbage to use in its recycling programs a lot of countries import other countries garbage canada gave this justin bieber so uh while we're here wait i want to ask you something can we go to ikea this is norway ikea is in sweden oh do that i wanted to give ikea a new advertising slogan and what's that i kill you [Applause] silence i kill you [Music] you

Channel: Jeff Dunham

Views: 2,314,014

Keywords: Jeff Dunham, Walter, Europe, Comedy (Theater Genre), Special, Very, Funny, Comedian, Comic, Ventriloquist, Ventriloquism, Puppet, Dummy, England, Iceland, Australia, Hilarious, Humor, United Kingdom (Country), America, Language, Religion, Didgeridoo (Musical Instrument), Mary Poppins, Beetles, World, achmed, all over the map, america's got talent, arguing with myself, bubba j, christmas special, comedy, controlled chaos, keel, laughing, minding the monsters, movie, peanut, spark of insanity, stand-up, trump

Id: wZsJWWSIFZc

Length: 14min 25sec (865 seconds)

Published: Wed May 11 2022