The Best of 2021: YouTube REWIND Part 1 | JEFF DUNHAM

how are you peanut i ain't doing fine mr durham yeah yeah you know why we're here i do know why we're here we're here to introduce our video for the end of 2021 we've taken a conglomeration that's a big word for you yes of all our videos from this past year and put them into one video oh but it's not one video no no it's so big so much great stuff we got to make it two videos how many two two videos i always love doing that because i have only four fingers right yeah what's in the video well we've done a lot of videos this year there's some political stuff yeah yeah leave this some folks off right yeah anyway we have clips from some of our older specials wait how can this be jeff the that's the 2021 and you had cliffs from the old specials because we had videos this year which were the best of spark of insanity yeah the best of controlled chaos so those were videos we released this year with all the guys including the yeah and earl the new guy he's in there he is okay good yeah all right you ready i'm ready this is gonna be great yeah in another this is only part one of two videos yeah all right come and watch the other one later yeah don't watch this one now [Music] uh hello this is my press conference that they told me i was going to have but they also keep telling me i'm not supposed to answer any questions so i'll just read the teleprompter then go take my nap actually i'd like to take a nap now are we done oh sir we have questions you know you mean uh ones they haven't told me the answers to is this a trick no sir are the answers in the teleprompter no sir am i in the twilight zone what's happening here i'm more confused than usual sir can you please just answer some of our questions i don't think so i don't have that thing in my ear that tells me what to say can you make them multiple choice and no d all of the above that always throws me i wish i could get the vice president to help do this stuff but i've forgotten what he looks like she what the vice president is a woman mr president a woman vice president come on sugar you can't fool me woman vice president when's that gonna happen not until the 21st century she's your vice president she is oh that's great is she hot does she look like my sister uh wife let me know when she shows up again i'll take a whiff where is she here oh you mean me i'm the president and don't you forget it bub the questions oh sure let's go this is exciting they usually just whisk me away hang on is the thing in my ear so i can hear the answers we didn't know you had a thing in your ear oh all right it's just a hearing aid yep hearing aid good call mr president what were your thoughts as you traveled across the globe i kept thinking are we there yet are we there yet over here how did you feel abroad oh well uh i didn't touch her no no tell us about your trip um uh at the g7 summit i said that we faced new challenges you mean russia and china no there were two flights of stairs and a stiff breeze holy moly mr president my bff vladimir putin said he does not remember you telling him he has no soul doesn't matter because by the time i finish this news conference i won't remember it either next this is exciting you know they usually just whisk me away are you angry that vice president harris hasn't visited the u.s mexico border who oh him no i'm angry my grandchildren haven't visited me immigrants are reportedly simply strolling across the border can you comment on that uh strolling is like walking but slower and aimless i do that good for your cardiovascular or something brother hello would you please comment on last week's cringe word the interview by vice president harris hey bub i saw the headline on msnbc it said worthy interview you don't have to include all the words next but vice president harris hasn't been to the u.s mexico border why is that i don't blame her it's too damn crowded she should just wait until the lines are shorter but reportedly thousands of undocumented immigrants have been entering the us we're very popular if this country was a movie we'd be breaking box office records neither you or your vice president have visited the u.s mexico border i also haven't visited europe or the bathroom lately are we done yet do you have any plans to meet with the leader of israel i'd be happy to meet with moses the last time we met his bushes were on fire damn this thing ever since you assigned vice president harris to the border we haven't heard a word from her really that's nuts if anyone would have wandered off i would have thought it would have been me kamala is like a granddaughter to me she doesn't call she doesn't visit pulls away when i hug her too long what do you think about the current unemployment rate it's fallen and it can't get up mr president since your wife is a doctor she is good for her so that's why she gives me my pills she's not a medical doctor failed her bar exam did she that college education was a waste of money no biggie she'll never have to pay back those loans yay for my plans next question you know mr president a lot of us worked long and hard to pay back our college loans ha ha next question is it true you're considering continuing construction of the wall on the mexico border well sure i'd love to build a mall on the mexico border the wall sure no one loves walking in a mall more than i do what do you think of press corps request of daily briefs for sure great i have a different pair for every day of the week don't tell anyone but i actually have doubles of each in case you know of surprises oh what can you tell us about the first lady well her name was eve and she enjoyed my hugs oh how are you preparing for your meeting with the dreamers i'm gonna take a nap this is exciting you know usually they just whisk me away are you hoping for an investigation into the january sixth riot in the capital january january see that month is now caught somewhere between my long-term memory and my short-term memory so i actually have no idea what the you're talking about next mr president how can we prevent another wuhan i don't like rap music and i stay away from questions about the clan on the lighter note people have noticed the groundskeepers doing a lot of work around the white house with new plants and flowers was this your idea hell no and is that who that is i keep going out on the balcony and yelling get the hell off my lawn next do you still wear a mask while in the white house yes but i'm not allowed to take it off except when i'm being fed by my caregiver i've been waiting mr president which vaccine did you get viagra keeps me up at night i get it keeps me up yes sir it doesn't really that four-hour thing is a lie took one right before i came out here shouldn't be kicking in any minute oh here we go uh nope false alarm not yet wait there it is yeah nope that was gas oh yeah yeah no no no damn mr president how much bingo we have liftoff aborted that was fun didn't feel like four hours i need a cigarette well that's it for the questions i hadn't been whisked away but i think i probably should still can i have my pills this was fun that guy is so smart ladies and gentlemen please welcome jeff dunham [Applause] [Music] thank you well i know some of you know what's going on this evening i have little people in boxes and uh i got to tell you the way security is at the airports nowadays when you try and check in with a small person in your luggage they stop you most airports nowadays have these sophisticated equipment for checking your luggage they're like big mris they can check the contents the materials but some of the smaller airports don't we all know burbank airport just north of here a few miles don't have all the sophisticated stuff they still have to hand check a lot of luggage i was in line about three and a half weeks ago early one morning very crowded and most people when you get your luggage hand checked it's no big deal they might pull out your underwear like but for me they're pulling out dolls the way they decide whose luggage they're gonna hand check is the complete judgment call on these guys parts they look at you and they decide and apparently i looked like a terrorist with a trunk because this server gotta look in that trunk i'm like oh crap here we go so he takes the big trunk and he puts it on top of the silver table he opens it up and the first thing he pulls out is one of my little guys peanut you'll see him a little while you're my little peanut but he pulls peanut out and he's like hey people in line are like hey and i'm like oh now they have these swabs and they swab whatever it is they're looking at they didn't take the piece of material they put it in the analyzer it then checks to see if your stuff has come into contact with anything dangerous chemicals whatever so the guy has peanut in one hand swab in the other this is all true it's too stupid to make up he could have swabbed peanut on the head on the foot no front of god and everybody swabs his butt just like that [Applause] i know it's only a pup but but i work with the guy [Applause] a relationship here and i'm sitting there watching this and the first thing i find myself thinking is you sick bastard [Music] what the hell why are you wiping my friend's blood he then takes the swab puts in the machine shuts the door i think we're finished we start to put things away suddenly the little machine goes three more guys come out they have me up against the wall they're checking my id they're doing a background check on the internet they're going through all my stuff takes 15 minutes now we're finished everything is fine then we start to put things back and then i start to think what the hell was on peanut's butt [Applause] that labeled me the potential terrorist and this is all true and i asked the guy and he goes well that's all in the code on the computer let's see that would be military-grade plastic explosives and i go what and he goes well sometimes the machine confuses lotion for that and i went ah no there's no lotion on the puppet's ass i've been building bombs in my garage [Applause] shut the hell up dude walter happy to be here overjoyed last week i was lying on a beach an alley and i couldn't decide gee should i stay in hawaii or go to freaking santa ana my god i can die happy now fine city i don't give a damn what's wrong with you i don't know it's hot as hell outside my skin's all dry and itchy you put me in a sweater sure as hell not gonna ask you for lotion [Applause] you know you don't have to do this yeah i can get a real job what would you do i want to be a greeter at walmart [Applause] [Laughter] [Applause] what the hell's so funny at walmart what would be your opening line oh welcome to walmart get your and get out [Applause] have a nice day are you married oh yeah yeah is your wife pretty yeah no what's the difference the light where'd you meet your wife at the family or union [Laughter] what so bubba j where was this family read that state sir stay fair why don't you tell us about the first time you saw your wife all right there she was [Laughter] more yeah more where was she oh she's leaning up against the ferris wheel yeah making it tilt sunlight glistening off of curlers corn dogging one hand a budweiser indian [Applause] i went up to her and i said young woman you look more delicious and mayonnaise oozing out of a stone sandwich and then she smiled yeah what a tooth [Applause] this guy's not getting any of this i've been watching and the whole time that's all going now i'm just kidding buddy what's your name what is your name i'm looking right at you aren't i i think so fix my eyes it's hard to talk to somebody if you're not looking right at them i know it's like trying to talk to somebody who has a lazy eye you don't know which out to focus on yeah they're done that you're sitting there talking to them thinking oh crap should i be looking at that eye or that eye [Applause] focus you what if someone here has a lazy eye i'll confuse them here i am on here [Applause] you know what testo is pesto is the stuff that goes on salad and pizza el testo it's a magician with the hair lip dude what is so many ears of hair lip sorry oh stop it boy what if they have a hair lip and a lazy eye they're really going to need lift off back to you dude kidding you right here the blonde hair in the glasses what is your first name terry terry what do you do for a living terry i'm a business analyst a business analyst fascinating how the hell is that working go to a business and go [Music] you are a business [Applause] so where are we before this before this we were in uh dc ah yes washington dc doing a show in a theater a lovely theater without five minutes in the show i hadn't looked down that way you're sitting dude do i say guys sit right there where you are the view is facing that way right and every time i said something the guy and i go hey buddy what are you doing was a signer right a signer think about this for a second they brought a bunch of deaf people to see the ventriloquist what what are you doing next week i'm going to take on a blind folks you see david contrashiel [Laughter] [Applause] the elephant disappeared it just disappeared oh my god he's juggling now you should see oh sorry do you know what i'm thinking and there's the showing on this guy i started to piss me off i never actually seen myself talk before so i thought okay i'm going to get even with this guy and suddenly in the middle of the show i went hey stop sign thank you turn around don't do a horseshoe turtle [Music] and there's four dashers just signing away all the deaf folks are like [Applause] what the hell's going on our guy sucks and then to really screw with the guy i went of course now he's just sitting there oh deaf folks are like [Applause] what are we missing [Applause] sad part is this is all completely true [Applause] hello my name is bubba j i am in front of you today to help complete my community service by doing this pubic service announcement public oh oh right sorry this public pubic service no you can't say what's that anyway i'm here to do the public service announcement thing on how to drink safely during the july 4th holiday celebrations personally i think after a pandemic we have more important issues to deal with in this world hashtag free britney so why am i doing a safety video on drinking because i care and also because it was part of a plea deal to reduce my sentence for public intoxication slash indecent exposure i would again like to apologize to all those folks who were in that arby's that day especially the church group sorry for being naked and yelling arby's ain't the only one who has the meat by the way i wasn't totally naked i still had all my mask but i digest oh hang on before i start for promotional reasons i have to say that today's video is brought to you by the new big screen teleprompter for guys with bad eyes or really old grandpa like guys it's the joe pro 2020. use it whenever you have to say something important and you can't think it up yourself it even has a doodad built in to go in your ear so you can be told your ad libs or in case you skip a line and your handlers panic whoa these words are really big it's almost like i should be yelling here are now my safety tips to all those who consume an adult beverage during the summer especially during the july 4th holiday number one i actually have to go number one okay limit your alcohol intake especially on a hot day as it will lead to dehydration heat stress or even sun stroking all of which i survived but if you do make sure you have a cooler and stick your head in it or you can drink on a neighbor's lawn who has a sprinkler going you know just thought i'd add that no all right no oh darn i went off topic and lost count which one are we on now two oh right now i'm going to do number two no i mean never mind number two do not mix different alcohols because it might increase your chance of getting sick and hurling that's why i don't mix alcohol with soda or juice i just stick to alcoholic only good tip there on the joe pro 20 20. number three try drinking non-alcoholic beer hey they're not that bad especially if you pour a little vodka in it mr director guy wait why are you shaking your head i don't know number four think before you drink who wrote that i think that was the comic relief tip that's a funny one hey can we take a little beer break now oh oh what oh the director is making motions motions like conniption fit like he's stressed out dude calm down have some jack number five do not drink while lighting your own fireworks do it while lighting someone else's oh so sorry no just don't do it it can lead to mistakes just ask my friend fingerless frank or my other buddy one-eyed wade or my other buddy burn beyond recognition ralph or sin scrotum scut or number six don't swim drunk also known as don't drink and dive unless someone says you won't and you say who won't and then they say you won't and then you say hold my beer and then you're kind of obligated to jump off your trailer home and into the above ground pool head first but leave that to us professionals this is going great okay do not place your unopened beer on the grill learned that the hard way i still have aluminum shrapnel in my butt from that one not to mention it was a wasted beer number eight do not pass out from drinking in the sun you will wake up rather than a baboon's backside and it'll be the most painful ride to the burn unit ever speaking of which don't sunbathe nude and pass out or you'll be taking a trip to the burn unit for your burned unit just saying hey my court appointed officer just left is he okay did did he quit i think he did and finally when drinking be very careful operating heavy machinery like my new homemade margherita blender with a lawnmower engine let me show you hey do a star wipe now [Music] introducing the bubbinator 8000 we're gonna have 500 fire breathing horsepowered margaritas for cinco de gelato gentlemen i'm gonna start my engine oh yeah listen to that power to make a proper margarita wait can you hear me that was fun drinking can be dangerous says who well stay safe drink responsibly and have a happy fourth of july a little help here my pants are gone star wipe [Applause] and driving around the city the last couple days i couldn't help but realize that here in dc just like everywhere else in the country gas prices suck my wife and i live in l.a and we uh not long ago were the proud owners of two big giant suvs and uh we decided to do the economically and ecologically right thing we got rid of one of the big giant suvs and got a prius i don't know what you're laughing at it's a great vehicle you jump on the freeway and punch and it goes [Music] when you can drive underneath an 18-wheeler and go that is really dirty and drive back out that is just too damn small it is kind of cool when you go to the gas pump to fill up because in one tank you've driven like two or three thousand miles and you go and fill up it's like oh all done i'll be down 10 cents that's amazing not used to a vehicle like this all of ours have big trucks and big suvs and the one vehicle i refuse to get rid of i've had it for 10 years it's paid for i love this thing i've taken good care of it i know it's not politically correct to drive it anymore i don't care it's the h1 hummer the real one the big one the military all right i love this thing it has a 38 gallon tank get seven miles to the gallon diesel where i live at its peak was 3.84 cents a gallon yeah i went to fill it up that week it wasn't even empty it cost me 148 i pushed the vehicle home as it rolled into the driveway i called my kids out and i said girls look at our new front yard ornaments get the prius you suck that i used to pick priuses out of the grill of my hummer [Applause] what's wrong with you tonight i don't know i'm just pissed i don't want to go home why not i think my house is haunted why do you think that my wife is there i walk in the front door and all i hear is get out [Applause] you guys got another argument on the phone today didn't you oh you heard a little bit of that did you oh yeah yeah hung up on her not good no she called right back and she goes did you hang up on me i said i don't know it sounds something like this click did that make her angry oh i felt a disturbance in the force you ever made of that mad when you're standing right in front of her oh yeah what'd you do well my mother always told me when you're in a gym that don't know what to do you should think what would jesus do so i tried to turn her into a fish i stood there going league on satay hello shamu [Applause] well at least chandler has only one blowhole [Applause] ah screw you that was funny look it's a cia i see you we can all see you [Applause] you know the show looks a lot better from the front is the director drunk what the hell holy crap wait come back come back let me see in there this is comedy central i can see kartlin i can see kenny oh he just got killed thank you you know ladies and gentlemen as we all know there's a big mess going on in the middle east right now and uh when it comes to the terrorists most of us don't understand their extremist views and beliefs and i got to thinking the other day how would it be just to sit down and talk to one of those guys [Applause] we have that very opportunity tonight please help me welcome ahmed the dead terrorist [Applause] [Applause] good evening ahmed good evening incident so you're a terrorist yes i am the terrorist what kind of terrorist a terror thing are you scared not really no and no not really no [Applause] how about now no god damn it oh oh i i mean uh allah danette silence i kill you [Applause] silence i kill you how do you spell it what how do you spell your name [Music] sing [Applause] so ahmed if you're a terrorist i would suppose you have some sort of specialty yes i am the suicide bomber so you're finished what you've done your job no i haven't but you're dead no i'm not i feel fine but your old bone is a flesh wound silence i kill you [Applause] stop touching me i kill you all right just hold on we'll fix this okay wait what are you doing holy crap and in the air wait wait wait something is backwards holy crap i need some lignans just sit still okay i will not move my ass you idiot you don't have an ass is that walter yes you know folks there's never been a better time than right now in our country to introduce a brand new superhero we have that very thing this evening he's big he's powerful please help me welcome the superhero melvin uh hi it's good to see you melvin oh thank you it's uh nice being here in our nation's capitol so you're a superhero yes what is your most outstanding feature my costume it's a very nice costume thank you yeah what does the d stand for oh that's my theme song you have a theme song what's your theme song and where'd you get the costume that my friend is a superhero secret ebay damn it how did you deduce that there's a tag on the back it says ebay it's as plain as the nose on your foot sorry all right so uh you're a superhero yes and uh do you fight crimes yes of course ah what kind of crime the bad kind so what have you done lately uh today i was battling a terrorist ahmed yes and what kind of battle checkers and every time i'd get a king he'd blow it up so what'd you do i issued a verbal threat and then walter gassed him thank you so much well ladies and gentlemen if you've seen my show before you'll recognize this next guy please help me welcome my buddy peanut how you doing peanut butter pretty good how are you i'm fine that's good that's good that's good so you like it here oh i love being in dc it's great and i love this theater the warner the warner theater it's fantastic and they have a cool website right they've got a link to our website which is just on ham.com and i think that hold it i think that peanuts oh stop it what's the mistake what's the what the hell is wrong with you we cannot talk at the same time i thought you thought i thought you dug that's it focus [Applause] i am so sick of this crap i have tried going solo what happened kept falling off this freaking thing why did you interrupt me you mispronounced my name what you mispronounced my last name i know it's dunham now when you look at it it says don't ham just on hand you're the other white knee don't confuse everyone it's dunham it says done um and you know you know when you think about it thirty seconds it's actually just for foot on half stop calm what jeff faffa you're using an unneeded [Music] am i pissing you off the phone ladies and gentlemen it is absolutely great to be here in lovely richmond virginia and you know we i've been doing the show all over the country just having a blast here there and everywhere the fans are great but we've also been taking my show around the world we've been doing shows in south africa australia three tours of europe and the uk now they're talking about taking me to china what but it is interesting going to some of these foreign countries and doing press interviews because some of the reporters have done their homework and care others just don't for example i was in london talking to a guy and he was like alright so ventriloquism have you eliminated every other possibility of employment and i have to go no this is what i've done my entire life i've never wanted to do anything else i started very young i was uh i was eight years old i was in the third grade christmas 1970 got my first dummy there's mom and dad and me under the tree right there you can see how proud my father is but for years i look at that picture i think why does he have that expression on his face then finally hitting me duh look where the dummy's hand is so i started getting paid for doing my shows in the seventh grade and i knew that i was going to be a professional ventriloquist i needed a professional photo now my parents were supportive but they weren't going to shell out the cash for that so i thought how am i gonna get a professional picture of me and the dummy taken and then it finally hit me school picture day [Applause] but i thought this was genius all i had to do was show up at school with a dummy in the suitcase stand in line when it was my turn i'd sit down put the dummy on my knees smile click professional photo and that's what i did every year from the 7th grade through the 12th grade the only trouble was they'd only take one photo and that's what ended up in every yearbook and that's why my daughters were horrified it was boy girl girl boy boy with doll girl don't believe me there's seventh grade right there there it is [Applause] you know i saw an old photo of you and your wife your wife's quite beautiful he saw an old photo yeah i'm kidding i know i'm married at the cute young beautiful thing yeah she was initially eaten by the woman i live with now you're just flat out saying your wife's overweight oh no no no no she's under tall have you ever had a weight problem only when she sat on me will you get off of me actually it's more like this hello it's dark in here here i found your keys keys [Applause] i am not kidding then she farted and unlocked the car doors sock med did your parents have much to do with what you do now well uh i guess so my father was a suicide bumbler oh so you guys are a lot of like well i have his eyes in a box and i like to hide them wherever walter is sleeping that way when he wakes up that scares the crap out of them can't give us right now [Applause] is that case locked from the outside yeah why because he still scares the crap out of me so aquaman do you have any good memories of her father uh from my eighth birthday he got me a puppy that's good no it turned into a disaster why because sometimes my father was a very confused man and that day my mother told him to go outside and blow up some party balloons yeah and that's how i got a dog with no legs you had a dog with no legs yeah he was great i had him for many years oh so what'd you call him seriously seriously what i had a dog with no legs what did you call him seriously okay you're a comedian right yeah i had a dog with no legs ask me again what'd you call him i didn't call him anything because he could never come it's not funny [Applause] ah man that's that's like the oldest joke ever yes but in my case it was true thanks could he do any tricks [Applause] he can roll over it's not funny because if there is any kind of an incline he couldn't stop himself he looked like a runaway can of pinto beans rolling down a hill it was the only time i ever saw a cat actually laughs [Applause] how was that i killed the cat so ahmed i'm not listening ahmed there's someone here i want you to meet is it a woman no i already have a goat this is a surprise guest ryan seacrest no damn it look what i want you to do is i just want you to look over there while i'm getting him out so you won't peek okay just look over there oh wait a minute when i'm not looking are you going to kill me no that's actually a good way of doing it you know kind of old school but effective it's like hey look at that now just look over there and don't look back until i say so okay whatever this is kind of like christmas huh yeah just look over there okay don't peek okay i'm not gonna pee could you stay over here no no okay [Applause] who the hell is that hello father [Applause] it's your son ahmed jr aj that's right wait i thought you were dead surprise this is great hey what happened to your face oh yeah my bad ahmed he's your son look at him what do you see well he does have my eye [Applause] actually i do yes i do why do you sound like elton john when you were separated after the accident he was raised in england did my mom miss me uh yeah i don't know what the hell how do you not know oops [Applause] what's wrong with your leg nothing what's wrong with my leg man can you fix this no damn that don't look at me whenever we get marnell to help us what marnell he worked final mark marnell come fix my leg hey he's kind of cute [Applause] okay and moving on wait a minute how do you not know who his mother is i had 46 wives you idiot they all dressed the same then their faces were colored how'd you tell them apart the numbers on their backs that's terrible i know mother's day is a and so are most of the mothers that's not funny at all at all who is it all was she your mother i don't remember a woman who was all bulgy i'd like you bulgey eyed but look at him well you're not exactly squinting at least my face is darling still managed to look asleep and terrified all at the same time awkward he's your son well the apple doesn't fall far from the tree and apparently this got run over by a lawnmower [Applause] dude what where's your other hand [Applause] [Applause] i hope you're wearing a glove do you do this to the other guys everybody except jose yeah you shoved the stick up his ass [Applause] i think i'd rather have that you have a stick what what the hell is that that's how i work your arm [Applause] that explains why that one sucks [Applause] all right peanut time to introduce the next guy oh dude does he have to come out here why not he's a talking jalapeno [Applause] [Applause] so how random is that just introduce them ladies and gentlemen here is jose jalapeno honesty [Applause] good evening jose hola senor half your health whoopsies what the hell was that were you trying to say how are you and it came out why is it that we speak perfectly and you up [Applause] i don't know would you like me to help you i'm fine come on follow me one word at a time no come on just do it but do it okay okay how how are are you you you good good good right how are you jose i don't know it took too long actually i'm excited senor why are you excited jose proudly cause you're holding his stick do you have to do jokes like that it's just weird to me that in front of everyone you're holding jose's stick any suggestions you should at least take him out to dinner first it's just a stick maybe it's actually a handle a handle yeah you could use jose as a weapon to hit with yes i want to go back in the box no this is awesome what happened to frank he got wet by a jalapeno on the stick yes [Applause] peanut it's about time to end the evening no wait what i got one more thing to do no the show's about over no it's not i got one more thing what okay look just trust me on this i have a new hobby a new hobby yes what is it i am now a ventriloquist too no you're not yes i am that was that was pretty good i know compared to me you suck really let me show you how it's done well you need a dummy he's in the box do you have a dummy over here senor he's in the box yep right next to jose can i get him out yep don't touch my stick careful what he's really ugly he is ugly senor he is nasty looking he's so scary i wet my stick he's right here he's the only other guy in there check it out all right let's see this here we go [Music] i thought you said he was ugly yes he looks a little like me no he looks a lot like you this isn't funny then why is everyone else laughing i laughed too senor i laughed so hard on cracking the steak you had to work this of course i do you know there's a little lever down there i know you grab one on the lever i know and you pull on i know now do you have a hold of the lever he's got a hold of something [Applause] see i can do this too fantastic how are you little ugly jeff not good wait wait a minute you're gonna call him ugly jeff oh no no little ugly jess is there any other name a little ugly ass jeff i like that me too senor thank you you're welcome wait a minute i would prefer you didn't use the word ass oh i didn't really it's all one word little ugly jeff jeff jeff hi i'm last chest see it's good bravo gracias dinar this is ridiculous [Applause] so how are you a little ugly jeff i'm sad handsome peanut wait wait a minute handsome peanut yes peanut is very handsome unlike you ugly ass jeff he is me good point i hate my ugly self all right he said he was sad i heard him why are you sad jeff because i'm a loser yeah that is sad and he's ugly and i'm ugly thank you it's okay will you stop this that's a shame little ugly jeff i have no idea how i made it this far in life me neither no one does i suck all right maybe you can make up for your illusionist by having a good personality no doubtful no way i'm sorry me too okay look [Applause] you guys really think this is funny oh yeah see definitely the truth hurts okay i tell you what peanut you think that's funny i have something here that you're gonna like but just trust me you're gonna love this what the is that hi look at me i'm a little idiot that is not funny yes it is no it's not i think it is me too lol shut up you guys have been awesome thank you good night [Applause] okay that one looks good that one that one no oh look at this do not watch this video yeah okay [Music] hello seven days oh no no no no no close close close unc unsee i should not have watched that hello is anyone there oh good lord shut the hell up [Applause] you know how sometimes you wake up from a dream when you feel happy yeah this is the opposite what do you want did you watch the video is this the one where you tricked me into clicking on something and then i'm forever on a pervert email list and i have to destroy my phone no not this time then what is it seven days equals a week what are you talking about water what this video yes no no don't click on it well clearly i have to now this better be funny no no no no no no no no no walter no no oh i swear i thought she was older oh [Music] i love that dream who is it you dumbass oh you guys should have seen your faces this is not a joke well it could be because it's 3 a.m and i'm hilarious at this time of night ask the guy at 7-eleven why were you at 7 11 at 3 a.m i don't know i seem to remember them telling me it was for their tick-tock videos but it's all kind of fuzzy and i have new tattoos papa j this is a matter of life and death we called to warn you warn me about what that you're an idiot and don't watch that video exactly do not watch this one the one that says do not watch this video yes i mean no yes don't or yes dude hello the grim reaper why are we screaming oh ahmed have you seen yourself i always look like this that's true yep never looked worse why are you calling me at this hour this is a matter of life and death or see all the above and why are you wearing that hood because he wanted to be in the hood i got cold so i put on the hoodie ahmed peanut made us watch a bad video i i did not and apparently because of that we're all gonna die in seven days what a video that will kill you if you watch it yes fantastic i don't care why not think about it you're already dead bingo oh yeah but i'll watch it anyway sending you the link hang on could ahmed get more dead silence i'm going to watch it i have a bad feeling about this [Music] i'm going to die you're already dead i know but that video is going to kill me again hello you guys hear that hello i think there's someone he's gone where did he go i said he's gone what's happening he's gone i'm back we thought you were dead no my wife threw a breaker when she tried to fry bacon and dry her hair at the same time where were we i'm going to be killed again seven days god it sounds like we have a poltergeist with computer hacker skills and a youtube account wait a minute what did you say we have a poltergeist but it could be a bugaboo or even an incubator oh the other part oh computer hacker skills with a youtube account that's it you guys thinking what i am thinking yup it's definitely a bugaboo wait what what the hell is a bugaboo an annoying stalker type person who will not leave you alone yep earl is sending us the video to try and scare us i think it worked this definitely has earl written all over it gentlemen gentlemen let's not jump to any unsensical or irrational conclusions clearly the making of these videos is the work of a supernatural entity from beyond the grave with the ill and unfettered intent of stealing our souls and banishing us each to a hellish damnation for all of eternity that is the only rational explanation [Music] someone want to mute bubba j please i say we call earl right now and get to the bottom of this good idea where is earl he's in the basement hold on hello earl dude what's this about rise and shine sleepyhead you know exactly what this is about geez guys it's like 3 30 in the morning your witching hour and my wife bitching hour but that's for another time can i go back to sleep man so you're telling us that you did not send the video video youtube you mean that trending one where the guy crushes his cubes doing a gnarly skateboard grind on a handrail don't play dumb earl yeah that's my job peanut send him the video [Music] [Music] again don't answer it hello [Music] whoa dude that was awesome awesome we're all gonna die you mean you really didn't send that video to us no but i wish i did what are you doing hold on i'm you said damn nation but i warned you warned [Music] i'm telling you that's the same lightning that happens when my wife gets pissed not the buggable thing again okay bubba j let's hear it my meemaw always told me of an ancient spirit that roamed the dark woods in the video the dark woods in search of souls and spam sandwiches spam sandwiches like in the video it's all true he would emerge from his mossy grave and take the living into the depths of the underworld where they would be tormented for all of eternity in a hell of their own making seven days before halloween seven days being fed candy corn and black licorice until they died i would do a dramatic gulp here but i cannot swallow we dare not say his name the buga yep we're doomed again and all this time i thought i'd eventually punch my card with a random supermodel who i met at the malibu whole food that's ugly specific like i have an idea i think i can hack into the metadata crack the torrent and reverse trace the ip address hold on what the hell does that mean that's computer that nerds do oh no what what what what what what tell us it's crummy from inside the house [Music] so hey guys i got you good this time i spent hours making that video you know like seven days right right what i kill you [Applause] this isn't my no no no no guys this isn't funny don't let me out let me out guys let me out let me out comedian and ventriloquist the man who had a promising career until his jokes caught up with him and the walls started closing in now he lives in the suitcase at a strange intersection in a shadow land called the durham zone [Music] you were so tiny in that little suitcase i was well folks you made it through the entire video thanks for watching this i enjoyed it i thought it was great yeah but this is only part one because now upcoming is part two two two right yeah not quite as good though cause it's halter introducing it and not me it's okay

Channel: Jeff Dunham

Views: 5,767,551

Keywords: jeff dunham, youtube rewind, Joe Biden, christmas, President, Trump, Biden, Jeff's youtube rewind, achmed, walter, bubba j, peanut, america's got talent, controlled chaos, funny, keel, movie, spark of insanity, stand-up, tv, ventriloquist, rewind, top 10, top 10 videos, 2018, pewdiepie, t-series, countdown, most viewed, most popular, subscriber race, viral, trending, best videos, top videos, president trump, halloween, holidays, white house, fox news, cnn, lost tapes, oval office, super hero, Feud

Id: T6t2W8uG3A8

Length: 74min 20sec (4460 seconds)

Published: Wed Dec 29 2021