Some of The Best of Controlled Chaos | JEFF DUNHAM

ladies and gentlemen please welcome to the stage [Applause] ladies and gentlemen it is absolutely great to be here in lovely richmond the [Applause] virginia and you know we i've been doing the show all over the country just having a blast here there and everywhere the fans are great but we've also been taking my show around the world we've been doing shows in south africa australia three tours of europe in the uk now they're talking about taking me to china what but it is interesting going to some of these foreign countries and doing press interviews because some of the reporters have done their homework and care others just don't for example i was in london talking to a guy and he was like all right so and ventriloquism have you eliminated every other possibility of employment and i have to go no this is what i've done my entire life i've never wanted to do anything else i started very young i was uh i was eight years old i was in the third grade christmas 1970 cut my first dummy there's mom and dad and me under the tree right there you can see how proud my father is but for years i look at that picture i think why does he have that expression on his face then it finally hit me duh look where the dummy's hand is so i started getting paid for doing my shows in the seventh grade and i knew that i was going to be a professional ventriloquist i needed a professional photo now my parents were supportive but they weren't going to shell out the cash for that so i thought how am i going to get a professional picture of me and the dummy taken and then it finally hit me school picture day but i thought this was genius all i had to do was show up at school with a dummy in the suitcase stand in line when it was my turn i'd sit down put the dummy on my knees smile click professional photo that's what i did every year from the 7th grade through the 12th grade the only trouble was they'd only take one photo and that's what ended up in every yearbook and that's why my daughters were horrified it was boy girl girl boy boy with doll girl don't believe me there's seventh grade right there there it is [Applause] you know i saw an old photo of you and your wife your wife's quite beautiful he saw an old photo yeah i'm kidding i know i'm married at the cute young beautiful thing yeah she's officially eaten by the woman i live with now [Applause] you're just flat out saying your wife's overweight oh no no no no she's under tall have you ever had a weight problem only when she sat on me will you get off of me actually it's more like this hello it's dark in here here i found your keys keys [Applause] i am not kidding then she farted and unlocked the car doors sock med did your parents have much to do with what you do now well uh i guess so my father was a suicide bumbler oh so you guys are a lot alike well i have his eyes in a box and i like to hide them wherever walter is sleeping that way when he wakes up that scares the crap out of them can't get right now is that case locked from the outside yeah why because he still scares the crap out of me so aquaman do you have any good memories of her father uh from my eighth birthday he got me a puppy that's good no it turned into a disaster why because sometimes my father was a very confused man and that day my mother told him to go outside and blow up some party balloons yeah and that's how i got a dog with no legs you had a dog with no legs yeah he was great i had him for many years oh so what'd you call him seriously seriously what i had a dog with no legs what did you call him seriously okay you're a comedian right yeah i had a dog with no legs ask me again what'd you call him i didn't call him anything because he could never come it's not funny man that's that's like the oldest joke ever yes but in my case it was true thanks could he do any tricks he could roll over it's not funny because if there is any kind of an incline he couldn't stop himself he looked like a runaway can of pinto beans rolling down a hill it was the only time i ever saw a cat actually laugh [Applause] what was that i killed the cat [Applause] so ahmed i'm not listening ahmed there's someone here i want you to meet is it a woman no i already have a goat this is a surprise guest ryan seacrest no damn it look what i want you to do is i just want you to look over there while i'm getting him out so you won't peek okay just look over there oh wait a minute when i'm not looking are you going to kill me no that's actually a good way of doing it you know kind of old-school but effective it's like hey look at that no just look over there and don't look back until i say so okay whatever this is kind of like christmas huh yeah just look over there okay don't peek okay i'm not gonna pee could you stay over here no no okay who the hell is that hello father [Applause] it's your son ahmed jr aj that's right wait i thought you were dead surprise this is great hey what happened to your face oh yeah my bad ahmed he's your son look at him what do you see well he does have my eye [Applause] actually i do yes i do why do you sound like elton john when you were separated after the accident he was raised in england did my mom miss me uh yeah i don't know what the hell how do you not know oops [Applause] what's wrong with your leg nothing what's wrong with my legs can you fix this no damn it don't look at me i'll never get marnell to help us what marnell he worked final mark marnell come fix my leg he's kind of cute [Applause] okay and moving on wait a minute how do you not know who his mother is i had 46 wives you idiot they all dressed the same then their faces were colored how'd you tell them apart the numbers on their backs that's terrible i know mother's day is a and so are most of the mothers that's not funny at all at all who is it all was she your mother i don't remember a woman who was all bulgy i'd like you bulgy i'd look at him well you're not exactly squinting at least my face is balanced you managed to look at sleep and terrified all at the same time awkward he's your son well the apple doesn't fall far from the tree and apparently doesn't got run over by a lawnmower dude what where's your other hand [Applause] i hope you're wearing a glove do you do this to the other guys everybody except jose yeah you shoved the stick up his ass [Applause] i think i'd rather have that you have a stick what what the hell is that that's how i work your arm [Applause] that explains why that one sucks [Applause] all right peanut time to introduce the next guy oh dude does he have to come out here why not he's a talking jalapeno [Applause] on a stick so how random is that just to introduce him ladies and gentlemen here is jose jalapeno honesty good evening jose hola senor half heart whoops what the hell was that are you trying to say how are you and i cannot why is it that we speak perfectly and you up i don't know would you like me to help you i'm fine come on follow me one word at a time no come on just do it but do it okay okay how how are are you you you good good right how are you jose i don't know it took too long actually i'm excited senor why are you excited jose proudly because you're holding his stick do you have to do jokes like that it's just weird to me that in front of everyone you're holding jose's stick any suggestions you should at least take a nap to dinner first it's just a stick maybe it's actually a handle a handle yeah you could use jose as a to hit with yes i want to go back in the box no this is awesome what happened to frank he got wet by a jalapeno on the stick yes peanut it's about time to end the evening no wait what i got one more thing to do no the show's about over no it's not i got one more thing what okay look just trust me on this i have a new hobby a new hobby yes what is it i am now a ventriloquist too no you're not yes i am [Applause] that was that was pretty good i know compared to me you suck really let me show you how it's done well you need a dummy he's in the box do you have a dummy over here senor he's in the box yep right next to jose can i get him out yep don't touch my stick careful what he's really ugly he is ugly senor he is nasty looking he's so scary i wet my steak [Applause] but he's right here he's the only other guy in there check it out all right let's see this here we go [Applause] i thought you said he was ugly yes he looks a little like me no he looks a lot like you this isn't funny then why is everyone else laughing i laughed too senor i laughed so hard on cracking the steak you got to work this of course i do you know there's a little lever down there i know you grab one of the lever i know and you're pulling i know now do you have a hold of the lever he's got a hold of something see i can do this too fantastic how are you little ugly jeff not good wait wait a minute you're gonna call him ugly jeff oh no no no little ugly jess is there any other name a little ugly jeff i like that me too senor thank you you're welcome wait a minute i would prefer you didn't use the word ass oh i didn't really it's all one word little ugly jeff jeff jeff i am see it's good bravo gracias donada this is ridiculous how are you a little ugly jeff i'm sad handsome peanut wait wait a minute handsome peanut yes peanut is very handsome unlike you ugliest jeff he is me good point i hate my ugly self all right he said he was sad i heard him why are you sad jeff because i'm a loser yeah that is sad and he's ugly and i'm ugly thank you it's okay will you stop this that's a shame little ugly jeff i have no idea how i made it this far in life me neither no one does i suck all right maybe you can make up for your illusionist by having a good personality no doubtful no way i'm sorry me too okay [Applause] look you guys really think this is funny oh yeah see definitely the truth hurts okay i tell you what peanut you think that's funny i have something here that you're gonna like but just trust me you're gonna love this what the is that [Applause] hi look at me i'm a little idiot that is not funny yes it is no it's not i think it is me too lol shut up you guys have been awesome thank you good night i kill you you

Channel: Jeff Dunham

Views: 1,075,682

Rating: 4.8917232 out of 5

Keywords: jeff dunham, jeff, dunham, controlled, chaos, achmed, walter, peanut, little, junior, bubba, spark, insanity, christmas, special, arguing, with, myself, father, son, beer, santa, merry, bombs, jingle, wound, touching, flesh, scary, scares, silence, keel, marnell, duct, tape, dad, very, funny, nice, double, comedy, dvd, tv, kid, child, omg, skeleton, bones, ventriloquist, ventriloquism, stand-up, arguing with myself, bubba j, christmas special, controlled chaos, movie, spark of insanity, gold, television, best, amazing, top, hilarious, video, Vids

Id: dkIHfUUYYFY

Length: 20min 11sec (1211 seconds)

Published: Fri Feb 12 2021