"Siesta" - Jim Gaffigan Stand up (Pale Tourist)

spain is home of the siesta the siesta and i'm a nap taker so i uh and i've always felt shame about napping i'm like i'm lazy but now i realize i'm spanish [Music] i wish i wish i was spanish right because then i would have like one of those long last names you know where it's like a combination of the mother and the father's last name so my name would be jim gaffigan gaffigan this man is an idiot he is not the siesta that's the ass so of course it's not no longer practical but i do admire how the the spanish still have pride in the siesta the cs value we came up with that that was our idea to do nothing that does our thing traditionally it's from two to five p.m right seems like the idea of someone who has a massive hangover it's like hey i you know that time like from lunch to dinner um what if we took a nap what if we took some aspirin and napped we could do that of course there are benefits of a siesta right people are more alert it improves your memory you get a couple hours where you're not groped uh i think i think it's interesting how the spanish you guys defend the siesta like there's a justification they're like well the siesta our lunch is the most important meal i'm like it shouldn't take three hours that is the hottest part of the day i'm like well there is air conditioning i mean just not in spain but there is air conditioning i've been in spain in july and i feel like you guys are undecided about air conditioning you're like do we need the air conditioning i mean the roads are melting but do we need it yeah we'll deal with that manana yeah we don't need to figure that out right now this guy's a jerk supposed to be a short nap right it's supposed to be just 20 minutes short nap everything's small here small nap small food small cars you guys can't commit to anything i love spain it's a little louder here a little noisier it's very loud and i and i'm an american i come from new york city i have five young children and it's quieter there it's like i don't know if this entire country is filled with deaf people but i see you sit across from each other and yell at each other i'm like settle down everyone settle down apparently because of the noise the news that smoking is bad for you hasn't come up here maybe someone should yell that out i feel like you guys are smoking like it's actually good for you you're like yeah you work out i'm smoking woo nailing that speaking of uh loud noises i uh went to i saw flamenco flamenco which was it was so impressive and i tell you after like 10 minutes i was like i've seen enough uh it was it was truly impressive it was very impressive and it's but you know there's all the clapping and the stomping and the snapping it's like it's like a competition who can make the most noise it's like what about this what if i did this i wouldn't even have to open my mouth it's very sensual flamenco halfway through the show i got pregnant anyways no smiling though right always it's like all i can think is they're like my feet hurt my feet really hurt from that flamenco so different from fado the portuguese fato i love talking about portugal and spain because the spanish are always like where's that it's next door is that one of the autonomous regions no it's not it's a whole other country but fato is different you know like flamenco is is energetic and and loud and and almost angry whereas pharaoh's sad and melancholic it's sad it's very fodder which means fate it's like and the portuguese love it it's like a whole country that's really into the band the cure they love it [Music] which means fate fato it sounds like a guy it's like i saw fado he seems depressed he was so dead which means longing but sounds like a how a drunk person would say so sad as a father he was a dad very sad yes son that doesn't make sense but it's interesting similar to flamenco there's like dinner theaters of fado i don't know how that would even start it's like hey grandma you know that song about grandpa drowning what if we sing it at the restaurant because you know when you eat you want a sad song have you decided yeah i'm gonna have the cod and uh can i have the song about missing lisbon ah that sounds great valencia i started my tour in valencia and uh i had uh paella and valencia well i ordered it it never showed up um you know how long are you supposed to wait for food in spain like do spanish waiters think people in restaurants don't want to be bothered it was like it took two hours for the paella and valencia to be fair you know they probably had to grow the rice and then they had to cook it on that pan the size of a manhole cover does the paella pan have to be that big here's your paella it's bigger than your table i don't know valencia they're very purist about their paella they're very pure that is not paella that is not paella and wherever you go to eat paella is the wrong place i would never go there i would never go there you're like have you been there no i've never been there you have to eat paella at lunch too right like if you did at dinner that is not paella paella at lunch this guy's impression of valencians is way off there's a the uh there's some debate about the origins of paella right some people think it's from catalonia and some people think it's from valencia and they're different styles right in catalonia the paella has like all the sea monsters mixed in with the rice with like a witch's witch's wooden handle storing it and then in valencia they have like delicious things like snails and rabbit and other roadkill but who was the first to overcook rice we don't know we don't know and sadly we may never know we may never know valencia i had horchata orcharda i don't know which is this refreshing white liquid that after i drank it they're like that's made from tiger nuts i didn't i didn't know there were tigers here and they're like no it's a nut that looks like a tiger's nut doesn't make me feel better valencia they have the fires right the fires which is it's a festival honoring saint joseph and how they honor him is they dress up in old-timey clothes and burn things because nothing says culture more than lighting things on fire hey you know how hitler burned a lot of books what if we did that of images of people that are still alive we could do that you know how like they protest in the middle east what if we did that as a festival we there's also in uh valencia there's the tamatina right the tomatina which is a festival which is just a tomato fight and i was like how did i ask i was like did this start like was there a saint that was killed by tomatoes or saint tomato of bob or something and they're like no it was just an old guy threw a tomato and we turned it into a festival i'm like is is that how all festival starts here it's like you know what i tripped on the way here let's turn that into a party we can do that as a party everything can be a party hi thanks for watching hit subscribe if you want if you want to see more stand up 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Channel: jimgaffigan

Views: 199,214

Rating: 4.8940721 out of 5

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Id: H1IhUqWzzYs

Length: 11min 4sec (664 seconds)

Published: Sat Aug 08 2020