- Callum! Callum! Callum! Callum! (laughing) - Goku! - Kamehameha! - Oh my god. - [Toby] Vic, hurry up. - Chop, chop, it's okay. Bro. - Hello! The Sidemen
are eating food again. Can you believe it? But today there is a twist. So you can only eat food from
the country that you are from. There's no takeaways. You got to cook it all yourself, as well. We all took a DNA test to find out where our ancestors were from
and here are the results. So I am 15% French. Ethan is 60% English. Toby is 99.7% Nigerian. Vic is 98.8% Indian. Simon, 10% German. Josh is 3.5% Italian, and JJ is 25% Japanese. Believe it or not. So those are the cuisines
that we are eating today. Let's go. - Huzzah! So, we both have two countries to be. I'm Japan. - I'm Germany, great. - Off to Waitrose to get shopping. We've got Toby here. We've got Vikkstar as well. - Okay. - I'm Italian so we got pasta, I'm gonna make some spaghetti bolognese. It's simple. It's from Bologna, it's
where my roommates from. - All right, Josh, on the
bologna, what you got? - I already got all my stuff upstairs. - Is it just me shopping? - Okay. So we're gonna help Josh shop. - Me and Bez just completed our M&S shop. We are now locked and loaded. It's time to go and,
uh, rustle up our lunch. - Our lunch, fella. - Happy bloody days, mate. - Bro, there's actually no, there's no hot dog buns. Have we come all this way? Well, I say all this way. - I guess you could use like hamburger buns. - Hamburger buns... - That's kinda German. - Where, I'm actually
really upset right now. - [Vik] That's Scottish, that's Scottish. You can't have that. - [Josh] It's not going
to say Italian Beef. - [Toby] Aberdeen. - [Vik] Aberdeen. Here you go. This doesn't say Aberdeen on it. - [Josh] It says British. - I'm gonna start. I'm cooking up Crêpe. A Crêpe. And I'm going to do savoury Crêpes because we just went gym. - Yeah.
- We don't want to be... Well you went gym, I kind of sat and watched. - You did, yes. - I want to be healthy. So I've got a yoghourt
and fruit for one of them. And brie and eggs. - Brie and eggs. - Lovely. - [Simon] I found brioche hot dog rolls. - Oh. - This works, but there's 12 of them. - [JJ] Oh jeez. Well then, that should be enough. - That's not enough. You think I ain't eating twelve hot dogs. You think I'm not eating twelve? - Pasta. It's a very easy
meal to make, isn't it? - [Vik] It's so boring. It is so boring. - I'm Italian though. What
else do you want me to do? I want fusilli. - [Toby] That's cheating, that's cheating. That's cheating. - Why? - [Toby] You have to make it from scratch. Like they do on Master Chef. - You doing that with your one? - England! Cooking a fry-up. But he needs to go first cause we haven't got enough space. - Yes. Well I need to make my batter. And then once the batter's made, I put it to the side, and when it's at the side, Bez. I tag him in. He cooks his full English. Happy days. - Bez and Harry Kitchen Nightmares. Episode one. - [Simon] Am I buying four pints? - Yes, fuck it mate - My lunch is about to get wild. - [JJ] Oh jeez, hotdogs and ha-ha. - I'm up first, and my cuisine of the day
is, of course, Indian. So I've got to pay respect my heritage. And I actually asked my
mum for her dal recipe, which is like, it's like, it's like a lentil soup type thing. - Have you got a sift? - No. A sift? Well, what is a sift? - Have you got a sieve? Yeah, that works. - Is that a sieve? - Yeah - I knew we had a sieve. - Let's go. - I knew we had a sieve. You guys doubted me that we had a sieve. Of course we have a sieve. We're chefs over here. - Oh. He's just spent like three hundred quid. - I'm trying to think of a Japanese word. Nani! - My mum has put together
a whole PDF of everything I need, how to make it. - What could go wrong? - Exactly, what could go wrong, so. - You don't have scales. - I've got drug scales. - Oh shit, yeah. That'll work. - Yeah?
- Yeah. I mean, I wouldn't say... I mean they are drug scales, yes. - You can weigh Pokemon
cards on these, you know. - Yeah, maybe. - You can weigh Pokemon
packs, you got a Pokemon pack? - No, I don't. (laughing) - There is. There's
white stuff on it, Harry. - [Harry] Yeah, no that'll be. We've used it for stuff
before, don't worry. No, we've used the cooking before. - Oh, okay. - We've used it for cooking. - All right, so we've come
back from the shop and yours is a lot more impressive than mine. - Yeah. - I have hot dogs. - Don't overshoot it, you know. I've overshot it. Oh my god! Bro. Bro. A hundred and forty point zero. Get a close up of this. I swear to God, what I've just done. That might be the greatest
thing I've ever done in my life. - [Ethan] A hundred and forty. - [Harry] Point zero, you know. - You're still spilling them. - It's everywhere still. Come on. Keep going. He's not a pressure on
me, you're all right. - I don't want to do it anymore. - Bro, just scrape them in. - You're pouring it there and not there. - Some wagyu beef. We got some noodles. Got some candy, got some chicken wings, got some shrimp. What? - Salmon. - Salmon, yeah.
- Sashimi, okay. - We got some Dragon Ball drinks. - It's going well - It's going very well. You know what? It's got a lot better than I thought. - Ooh, Ooh. Don't do it to 'em. Ohhh. Hey Harry and some fresh
powder, who'd have thought? - It's like a vroom vroom car. - I'm sure they do this
to the A roads at night. - I think this is going to be my lunch. Yeah. - Why've you bought all of this. - That's dinner innit. This is lunch. Sushi. - Oh my God. - It counts, it counts. It counts. - Twenty quid. - Twenty quid that you get shell in it. - First one. No shell. Of course there's no shell. He's top tiering it. Go on now, keep looking. Keep looking. - Oh, it makes bubbles. How interesting. That's interesting. Look. Isn't that interesting? Who would have thought
that that would happen? - Well, I'm cooking this, so. - I'm technically making this. - Are you? - Yeah. I'm taking it out of... - Yeah, no. I see that. - There's no shell, bro. - You know, I'll wait. The eggs escaped. - You've moved them out the well. Oh, heavens above. - This is an advanced strategy. I learned this in chef school. - Bro, I'll tell you what. Like we're actually... - Making a batter, bruh. - We are making a batter. - Making a batter. - You ready? - Oh. - Lentil Bae. - Maybe you should adjust it. - What? Make it look shit. - A little bit. Not shit, just like a bit off. Flatten a couple. Okay. I didn't mean that bad like. There, that's good. - Is everything all right, bro? - Bro, I feel like it's too liquidy. - I don't like it. If someone listens to that section with the screen off, bro,
it's gonna be so weird. - There's so much flour on the outside. - Cause he's going, "is it too liquidy". (laughing) - Oh no. - Let's just leave it there. We might, we might. - No it brings it out,
Josh, it brings it out. - TV's coming up. - Ah. Stop - Just grab the stuff. Just grab the stuff. The TV's on it's way up. - I mean, it looks believable. - Once had the toaster
on there and it went up, and the toaster was up here. (laughing) - He's like no, no, no,
stop, stop, stop, no, no. - That looks like, oh yeah,
that's something KSI makes. - I definitely. - Yeah. - What then? - That one. - This, yeah this is maybe
a bit too far-fetched. - I think when you start adding
the seeds on the outside. - You know what I mean. I'll hide this one. I'll hide this one. - Been keeping it going. - Have you actually, or have
you put your balls in it? - How would I have dipped my balls in it, cleaned them off and be back and ready like nothing's happened? - Did he put his balls in my batter? He put his cock in my batter? Maybe? A bit of bell. Yeah. He ain't got the height
for that, unfortunately. - What you don't know, is I had the bowl down here going like this. - But I'll tell you what though. Cock or no cock. The batter's looking good. The batter is looking really good. So I don't know what you did to it but it looks nice and smooth. So I'm putting this aside for now. - What can I say? The cock batter's smooth. - This says chop an onion, but it doesn't say how to chop the onion. - You can chop the onion
however you want, Vik. Cut it in half. - Just don't chop your
finger off though, please. - You put garlic in it, didn't you? Garlic. I can smell the garlic. - No, I didn't. - I can smell the garlic I'm gonna have to make
my batter all over again. You put garlic in the batter. I can smell the garlic in the batter, bro. It's a bait smell. You sure it didn't smell
like fucking garlic, I've got to make the batter again. - Try it. - You put fucking garlic in the batter. What? The raw batter? - Garlic crêpe. (JJ laughing) - [Toby] Yeah. - [Josh] Yeah, go on. - You know what you've done Ethan? You've made the day
longer for everyone here, that's what you've done. And I hope you had a good time. Jesus Christ. - Ah, my eyes. - Should we move? It's an emotional Sidemen Sunday today. - You know, I think
half an onion's enough. - I hope you all had a
good laugh, at my expense. I'm gonna shit in your, I'm gonna shit in your hash browns is what I'm gonna do. I'm going to poo in them. I'm gonna throw poo at you. (laughing) - Well I've got my sushi
and I've got my Sake. I'll see you at the dinner table. - Just gonna go? Okay. - Well I'm just going to watch you innit. - All right. - Dash it like little bits, yeah. - I can't see cause I'm crying. - Let him keep going, let him keep going. It's how this works. - I'm tryna help him. - No, it's fine. - We will help him but
for now, keep going. - Do the next, just a
little bit cause you've... Oh my god. No no, all right, all right. You sort yourself out. - Serves you right, mate. Serves you right, I hope
there's more of that. - Can I try one of your drinks? The one that says the word sweat on. - Like this video if you cry every time. - I cri every tim. (Vik laughing) - Josh, where's the turmeric, come on. - Ahhhh. - Yeah. - Bez you may now begin. - Boom. - Your Brexit breakfast. - I'm making a Brexit breakfast. We are doing hash browns,
french toast, eggs, beans, bacon and sausage. - It actually kind of tastes of sweat. - Okay, great. - But like a nice sweat. - Okay, what? - Like if you were to drink like Emily Ratajkowski's sweat. You know what I mean? - Oh, mad. - You'd probably do it. - Do you want to just blend 'em? - Oh, blend the potato. - You can blend the potato? - I can blend the potato. - Yeah. Chop it on. - Chop it a little bit, yeah. - Yeah, and stick it in the blender. - [Toby] Vik, hurry up. - Vik. Chop, chop, it's okay. Your meal's fine, it's not ruined yet. - Okay. - Turmeric, you ready? - Bro, dry your eyes. Dry your eyes, mate. - A bit more chopped than that, I'd say. It's a blender, it's not Jesus. (laughing) You've still got to
cut it up a little bit. - Deploy the defence. - I told you you needed that. - Go, save us. - He can't see the button, he's like. - Do you wanna do the turmeric? - Yeah, how much? - Two, two teaspoons. (mumbles) - I'm Ratata. - It's not Pokemon. - Ratata and ratatouille. - Yeah. Em ratata. - Is that all your potatoes? - Yeah. - Look at that mate. - You take this, go on. You gotta do garlic next. - Oh dear. - Do you know how much you're putting in? Or you just kind of eyeballing it? - Yeah, eyeball it, fuck it. See what happens. - Oh my God. I thought it had a lid on it. I thought it had a lid on
it, I was trying to shake it. It's my smoothie. Oh no. Oh no. - Shout out my mom. She does this all by herself. - And she doesn't cry about it either. (laughing) - How do you want it in the end? What's your? What's the end goal here? - Minced to look like it's grated - That's pretty grated. - Okay. Stop, stop, stop. I don't need a paste, I don't need paste. - It's weird when you drink it. - Yeah. - It's alright after. - You know what I mean? Nice sweat. - Not much going on in this pot right now. - Should I phone my mum and ask? - No. - Yeah. - I should cause I don't know how long that's supposed to be boiling for. - Cause it might soak up
the water a bit too much. - True. - Yeah, it's not ideal. - That's fantastic, my friend. - It's not, it's not. - Take this out, take this out. - I'm having one of these now. - Oh, a beer. Just get through the day. - I haven't eaten anything today. So this is technically the first thing. Cheers, lads. Ich bin ein Berliner. - [JJ] What? - I'm gonna cry again. Mum's not picking up. (laughing) - Mummy! - Yeah, there's definitely
a lot of water in here. I can see it but you know. If the oils hot enough. - It'll evaporate on the spot. - Set a timer for four minutes. - Jeez, I got the whole. - [Phone] Okay, four minutes and counting. - Yo, the iPhone is clever. - Did you not know that? - That's a fucking giant
hash brown, my friend. - Yeah, you thought we were playing. - Oh my god, look at the size of it, bro. - Right, have you got like a spatula? - I can get you a spatula, yeah. - I have sixteen hot dogs. Love a good old sausage, me. - In four minutes, we're
gonna add tomato puree, where's your tomato puree? - It's got onions. - Tomato puree? - Yeah. - Tomato Puree? - You realise I'm cooking
all of them, right? - Brilliant. Wait. All sixteen? - Yes. - Oh, get under that. Yeah yeah yeah. Ohhhh. No. - Oh no. - Oh no. - That's mine. - Vik! - Vik, do you need me to go
and get tomato puree for you? - I probably have tomato puree somewhere. - Remember when you
said you had everything. - Yeah, yeah yeah. - When we went to the shop. - Wow, did you hear what he just said bro? - He said soggy brown. - Soggy browns? - That's racist. - It's the Brexit kitchen, anything goes in here. Don't worry. It's a safe space. - [Toby] Yes, that's what you need. - Yes. He's done it. - He's done it. - How much do you have
to be paid to drink this? - [JJ] What is that? - Hotdog brine. - [JJ] Ah bro, bro I don't
want to see you do that to yourself. - No, not me. You. - John, how much? How much to drink this? - What's happened? You know what, it looks pretty good. - Let's. Let's. - Ohhhhhhh.
- Ohhhhhhh. - Go on. - Ten seconds. (humming Countdown theme song) Five seconds. - I thought you was
gonna like whip that in. - I know, I know, I know. - Go, go, go, go, go. - Very nice. - Mix it a bit, come on. - Two hundred quid to have a gulp of that. - [John] Yeah, sure. - You'd do it? - I'm gonna go get two hundred quid. - [John] Could I have got more? = [Simon] Definitely, but you fucked it. You fucked it. - [John] Really? Well how much more? How much more could I have got? - All right bro, you don't wanna know, it's too late. - [John] No! (JJ laughing) - Here we go, moment of truth. - To be fair, it doesn't
say to drain the lentils. I wonder if you should drain the lentils. - No, I think you boil off all the... I should ask mum. - [Toby] I wouldn't, yeah. - This is off. - No, it's on. Bro, it's on. It's on. It's on, Bog. Bog, it's on. Bog, it's on. Bog! Bog! Bog! Bog! - It's fine, it's fine, it's fine. We should blow it out, shouldn't we? One sec. - One sixty, one eighty, two hundred. Two hundred pounds. - [John] All right, fuck. - You come round here, we'll swap. - Are you okay? Vik, what the? - [Josh] Seven, six. - Bring it down, bring it down. Why is it? - It's cause you put Fairy liquid in it. That's why. - Callum! Callum! Callum! Callum! Callum! Callum! Callum! Callum! This mans setting
fire to your, bro! - Oh this is bad. - It's out, it's fine. - You know what's even worse? I don't even like hotdogs. - [Simon] Do you want
ice in your muddy water? - I just wanna get it over with. - The noise. (coughs) - I'm gonna start preparing my meal. - Which is? - We're making some rice, some stew, and some fried plantain. - You want me to be straight
up honest with you, mate? - What? - I don't like bacon. - Bro, there's a fire in the bin. - Oh my god, the bin's on fire. - Ow, you wrapped it bro. - The bin's on fire. - Bro, that would have been horrendous. - The bin's on fire. - Bro, you're lucky I saw that. That would've been horrendous. - [Simon] Bro. JJ, have a smell of it. - Bro, I have. Yeah, it's not the one. - That was not good. I don't really feel well. - Well, here's your money. (laughing) - Thanks, bro. - [JJ] That should make you feel better. - I'm blending this ham. (mumbling) So it'll be fine with that. - I'm gonna cut myself today. I know it, I know it. - That would've been funny if the whole bin was up in flames. - But how'd you put it out then? - Just throw it out the window. Let them deal with it on the street. - Why's JJ Japanese? Like what's happened here? - Yeah, why is JJ Japanese? - Why am I Italian? - All right, Harry picked
it, innit, that's why. That's why. - How much to drink the rest? - [Simon] I think he likes it. - Mate, two hundred
quid's two hundred quid. (JJ laughing) - All right, another two hundred quid. - This is my cupboard. - Sweets! - I've realised I'm Swiss today. - Wait Josh I need the... - Under here, under here. - Oh my god. - Bro, what is this gaff? You open things and
you just get sabotaged. - Oh no. - You open things and you
just get sabotaged, bro. - Not the raspberry lemonade. Oh Ethan, what have you done? What have you done to my gaff? There's glass all over the shop. - Good job we're wearing sliders. - Yes. You know, it's
exactly why I wore these. Well this has not gone to plan. - Oh, now I don't know which ones have been in for like five minutes and which ones haven't. This is your fault John. - [John] This is not my fault. - This is very unprofessional of you. - [John] Mate, you turned straight to me cause you knew I would do it. - It's cause JJ wouldn't have done it. - [Toby] Bro, it hasn't
sucked up a single thing. - I feel like you need
to change the filter. - Probably. - Josh, not in the food. (laughing) - What you mean? In there? - Josh! No! - There's no way on God's green earth he's fitting four pieces in one pan, surely not. Oh my god, he's done it. Fry in the remains of the hash browns. - So like oniony oil. - We give Americans shit for being fat but a full English
breakfast is a filthy meal. - It's disgusting, bro,
there's calories in it. - Another two hundred
quid, just out there. - Come work for the Sidemen, guys. - [Simon] Look, we have bonuses every day. Down it! - You're crazy. - [Simon] There's a sink. - Mate that is so disgusting. (coughing) Mate that is. - I rate it, bro. - [Simon] I actually can't believe that. - Fair fucking play. - We're doing this Vik, I'm sorry. - No! The floor. - [Toby] You wanna put
dust in the food, Josh. - It actually looks
alright, now you fold it up. You know what? - It's coming together. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like it's gonna taste good,
it's gonna taste good. - So far, blended up the main ingredients. We got our little stew blend here. Chopped tomatoes, scotch
bonnet, bell pepper, and something else. Onions. Half an Onion. - I think, don't you have to put them in like a pot. - I do indeed, I do indeed. I was waiting for you to say. I was waiting to see if he knew or not. I thought he'd failed the test. Of course you don't put
the tin in the microwave. (Ethan laughing) - He's in his element. Look at Toby, cool and composed. He's not even crying. - Now he's just filming us. - That is so, I actually can't get over how grim that is. - Yeah, fair play, bro. - Half a teaspoon of curry powder gone. If I can figure out how to open it. - Lovely. - Then we'll go. - Beautiful. - Then the beans will come in. - Yeah. And the hash browns. - Hash browns, yeah, true. - Bon Appetite. Aw no, that's French. - Bon Apple Teeth. - Em, Japanese greeting. - Konnichiwa. - Every so often, it tries to like spit. - So you're catching the spit? - So I'm blocking, I'm blocking. I'm blocking to make less mess. - That's what I'm working with here. - As we draw to an end of the full English experiment. (laughing) We're fucking helpless, bro. Like we are helpless. - [Simon] Is that not really boring? Like what you've got. In terms of like flavour. - Yeah, there is hardly any flavour. - Bro that's a fucking sick breakfast. That's a sick English breakfast. Come on. Come on. - [Callum] You're gonna finish it as well. (laughing) - I can see it already. - I can't, I can't. - It's getting ploughed through. - Mou shindeiru. Omae wa. - Look at all these sausages. - This is not a banana. - What is it? - Plantain. - I'm being like the audience here. - Jamaican people, or Caribbean people, might call it "Planting". We say Plantain. - Bro, I'm jealous, you know. I wish I'd cooked earlier. - Oh wow, that bacon. Look at that bit of bacon, by the way. - This isn't even fucking ripe. - Once you open it, it's like, oh it is a banana. - You know what, the hash browns. They're debatable but they do the job. Not something I'd finish. - It was never gonna be
like a perfect hash brown, let's be honest. - Mmmm - Ah, it's all slippery. I don't know why it's peeling like this. - That's a banging sausage. That's a banging sausage. - Cumberland sausage. - Ah bro, I can't eat my food. Just gimme some rice, man. - This is where it gets techy. - For the sake of my
body, I'm done with it. So, if everyone now
wants to have a go on it, please be my guest. One more bit of sausage. - And you're gonna eat all of that? - Most likely, no. - If you need some help
man, I'm here innit. - You got some... - No, man. - You got some homemade sushi, bro. - Homemade, I mean. - I'll stick to my, I'll stick to my pints and you stick to your sake. - Get in. - Yeah. - That's lovely. - England! England! - Sidemen eating again. - Classic sidemen food challenge. - So, not forgetting our stew, which I forgot about. Gonna add some meat stock, put some flavour in. The whole bag just dropped
in there but it's fine. - Just try it all. Get involved as if you
was eating breakfast. - The bacon's banging, bro. I can't, I'm cooking my own food. - Just pause. - You know, this dal, looks
like dal should look like. What do you know? Think I burnt it a little
bit at the bottom but. - That's fine. - That looks really good. - Mate, do you know what, this plate is. I'm happy with that. Like watching this happen
in front of me is quality. - Gonna add some salt. - Looking alright from the top. Not looking fantastic. - It's a Crêpe. - It's a Crêpe. - A Crêpe. - Oh, there is movement. - You got movement. - Are you stealing my
stuff and planting it? - No, I haven't stolen anything. - You aren't talking
squishies, I don't wanna talk. - The pockets are good, ain't they? - What? What's this? You come to my house,
you take my ingredients. - Here we go. KSI's about to get wild. - About to get waved. - About to say things that
we're gonna have to cut out. - I'm fucking drunk. - They're not frying great. Air fryers are not the one for this. - Quick, quick. Toby, quick. - Wait. Josh, I'm tryna save my plantain. - What are you doing? - You got potential. - Ohhhh. See it wasn't ready on
this side, unfortunately. But it was flipped. We definitely take this. - Making spaghetti bolognese,
A.K.A fusilli bolognese. Originates from Bologna, Italy. We have our Aberdeen Angus
beef. Aberdeen. Beef mince. Need to boil some pasta. Boil some water first, sorry. Put the pasta in, very simple. - I can't believe you're doing
this on the Sidemen channel. - Pop it down. Our first Crêpe. - Boom. - Lovely jubbly. I could tell by the underside of that, that was cooked lovely, so. - Jeez, sauce on 'em. - Get our mince out. Get your rat out, you slag. (laughing) - Yo, did you make that? - Oh, yeah. - That's mad. - Yeah man, like I made. - What is it? - Wait one sec, lemme just. - Yep, it's a see-through table. - Flip number two. Look at the. - That looks beautiful. - Look at the Crêpe. Look at that. You know what mate? We've actually fucking smashed it. - Bro. - We've smashed it, we've smashed it. - Want a little spank on it? With the wrist you have to. - Fucking, why you chopping it bro? - Yeah it's just, em, it's rice. With, uh, salmon sashimi. I got this little like,
snake skin around it. - Snake skin? - Lay the pan bro, send it to the moon. (screams) Look at it, beautiful. - The money shot. - Bro, that was a banger,
that was a banger. Smooth. - Ahhhhhh, we're talking. - I would like to say, I'm the only one that didn't make a mess. - You didn't go with
the traditional seaweed? - Oh, yeah, I mean. - I see how you can mix them up. It's like, you thought
it was like a sea snake, that was like upwards. - Yeah, yeah, you know
there's those things around. You know, sea snakes. - Ohhhh. Yeah. That's really hot, ow. - I'm tryna twist it bro. - Oh, bro, what are you
doing to the nectar. Bro. Yeah bin that. Bin it, bin it, bin it. - We get-a spicy meatball. - Just throw it at his head. - I'm three down and I'm already bored of the sausages. - Oh, let me have one. - They're kinda cold already. If you want one, have it. - See what the other side's saying. Oh my god. - I might just cum. - Oh, he's cum. - [John] Fucking hell. - Could just make less. - Nah, I'll make it all. - What? - You're right, he could. - You know if Gordon Ramsay
actually shouted at me, I think I'd cry. I think I'd break down in tears. Like I wouldn't be able to hack it. - It would be horrendous. - It's gonna brown very quickly. - Why did you look at me? - Cause you looked at me. - You didn't know I was looking at you. This is gonna brown real quickly. Oh Toby's looking at me. - It's nice though. - It's a hotdog. Boil it for five minutes. - Yeah, yeah. Well it's nicer than this. I didn't even make this. - What? - I personally, am gonna
go for a French yoghourt and fruit combo. I want a savoury one. - I'm going for lemon and sugar. It's a classic. - Yeah, fair enough. - Feel like that's what a
British person would do. - Yeah, yeah. You're
putting a British twist on a french delicacy. - It's fine, it works. It's what I use to do my pasta. It's fine. - You make pasta? - Yeah. Once. - That wasn't convincing. Yeah. Once. (mumbles) - I mean we always do. - Jeez. - Tell me that don't
look fucking beautiful. - That looks delicious,
that does look great. - Looks sick. And I realised, I said it was savoury. This ain't savoury, this
is sweet. This is sweet. - The brie one's savoury, no? - Yeah, yeah. - All right, here we
go, heart attack season. - What you doing now? - I'm gonna put this in here. - Bless you. - Then we get our tomato and basil. - You gonna have another one? - Yeah, bro, they're banging. Mate, you make good hotdogs. - Literally couldn't have done any less. - Oh, this is banging. This is banging. - You eat it like Nandos wrap. - I put so much stuff in it. As a Frenchman myself, can
you feel the French genes? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Radiating from the dish there. - Absolutely fella. - So plain. After five, it's plain as hell. - Yeah but, I'll have another one. - Oh my god, this guy. You know what? Sure. Have as many as you want, bro. - Oh this does smell good. Over here. - That's my food. Smells good? - Yeah. (laughing) - See that. Work smarter not harder, Vik. - No, no. - No, no, no, work smarter not harder. - It's the combination of
the two that's really just. - Yeah, I get what you mean now. It doesn't taste as good anymore. - No. - Presentation's key sometimes. - [Vik] The brain. The brain dish. - I think we did okay today, you know. - To be fair, I've been
to Paris a few times, it's shit. - Paris is a shithole, you know. - The only nice bit, the only nice bit, is the Eiffel Tower bit. - The Eiffel Tower's one
of the greatest landmarks in the world but, I swear to god. - Paris itself. - The streets are rugged. - It's a shithole. - Anyway, sorry France. I do enjoy your cuisine. Here you go, a bit of brie. Filthy Frenchmen. (laughing) - Our meals are officially done. I've got my dal and rice here. - I have my moat of bolognese. - I have my rice and stew
with air fried plantain. - Come on. - Okay, alright, I'm gonna taste test. - I'm so hungry. - Here we go, moment of truth. - Yours I'm interested about, actually. He's gonna be surprised
cause he cooked it himself. He's gonna be happy, look. That's what happens when
you cook something yourself. He's gassed, he's like oh my
god, this is how it works. - Schnitzel. - That's a German word,
that is a German word, yeah. Sauerkraut, that's another German word. - Scheiße. I know that one. - Feel like we're going
further and further. Heil, that's another one. - No I'm not gonna, I'm not doing that. I'm not going anymore. - Like mum's cooking? - Could never be as good as
mum's cooking, obviously. - Honest answer, honest answer. - But, I was expecting it
to taste so much different. - It looks good. - It's really nice. - Looks like how dal should look. - It's really nice. - All right, you're up. - Mine is just gonna
taste how it should taste. It's not really. If I mess up this. - Homemade pasta. - Oh, Bellissimo. Bellissimo. Ah. - Oh savoury adds a whole new level to it. - Does it? - Yeah, bit of a shit level. - I was gonna say, I can't
imagine it being nice. - Nah, it is good. It's actually nice, it is nice. But it'd be nicer with lemon and sugar. - We done good. Boys done good. All right, well you know what? That's a success. That's a huge success. I was expecting to actually
not want to eat this. - Yes. - We're done. - And that's that. Lunch. Lunch! - Fantastic mate, fantastic. We left a, we left a Crêpe
here for our cameraman. - The Fantastic French
and the Bastard British. - We've cooked up a storm, you know. - We actually have. - Well, on to dinner. Do you know what a Croque monsieur is? - No? - It's basically like a
fried cheese and ham sandwich but I'm putting a spin on it. A Croque madame has an egg on top of it. And I'm also going to
make it with eggy bread. - Brewdog is British. A great beer. - Oh wow. - England! - Big or small? - They're both small. Those are tiny frying. Bro, he holds up this
and says big or small. Which one of these is big, bro? I'll take that one, please. - All right, I've come
all the way to Josh land to eat more German food
that I don't want to eat. - I feel like you're
just here for like the... - Yeah, I'm just here for support. - Nice man, thanks. - Yeah, just in case anything
happens, I'm here for you bro. - I got a boxer with me, bro. - Bratwurst, mate. - These are all British. - British pork sausages. - British pork sausages. British bacon, Cumberland. - Spanish. - Where's baking powder? - [JJ] Baking powder. I got baking powder. - I'm gonna try and poach an egg. - Are you gonna poach it?
- I'm gonna try and poach one. No, no, I'll do a poached egg. Oh actually, how do you poach an egg. - We just found someone. Very, very helpful. - He had a Sidemen mask on. - Yeah, which you don't. - Adidas, come on, sponsor me. - Wow. - They sponsor us already. - But he also led us to this. Frankfurters, chilliwurst. - You got to get chilliwurst. - Nah bro, I'm getting both. - Bring to the boil, simmer,
crack an egg into a cup, stir the water. - And then you gotta
release it in without. - Without breaking. - Without it going everywhere. - We have oil. - I know, but I want proper oil. - Ethan, we have proper oil. - But I want proper oil. - Why? - What's wrong, bro. Are you alright? - I'm fine. - Come on. - I'm fine. We have oil. He's acting like we have
nothing in our flat. - Should we get rapeseed oil? - Rapeseed oil? You just
want it cause it says rape. - No I don't. That's really corrupt of you. Why would you say such a thing. - Bread knife for a bread man. - Well, not quite. - You are a bread man,
you are a bread man. I'm not having that. - Obviously, if you're wondering why I look like I've taken hard drugs, hay fever has hit in the UK. - Yeah, yeah, sure. No, no, no, no, no. It has. It has. - Just a pink himalayan
salt, my god. Jeez. Oh my days, he's moving boujee. - Man forgot fish. How do you forget the
fucking main ingredient in fish and chips? - I forgot fish. - Man got chips and that's it. - Do you know what it is? The tap dom really threw me off. I've forgotten fish. I'll go back. - I got my wurst. - Do your worst. - Chilliwurst and bratwurst. That was very sexual, I didn't like that. - Yeah, you've got eight sausages to beat. You're beating your meat. - You know what I will
take the peppercorn. - I feel so sophisticated. I had nothing to do with any of this. I don't know what half
of these spices are. - Oh, dear. - What the hell, I want it to cook my meal and it's said nah. - This is how I know you get meat, well I suppose you didn't have to cook it. But this is how I know you ain't. - Nah, I had to eat it cold,
obviously that's how it is. - All right, can I do a little
recon? Have you got a bowl? What happens if we can't cook. - Oh no, then we might be fucked. - I gotta red wine. Molino
Descanstan. Cansano. Want red win? No, you're
German, can't have that. - This is a fun experiment. It's quite cool going off the recipe. - Yeah. - That's what cooking should be, you know. - But this could go disastrously
wrong, that's the thing. - But at least you tried. - Exactly. Exactly. - Heil Kronenbourg. - Guten tag. - No? - What does guten tag mean? - Good day? Good night? I dunno. - Better to have tried and failed than to have not tried at all. - Jeez. - What about base jumping? (laughing) - You're not wrong. You're not wrong. - See, look at that. Added some spice. - Little bit of spice. - Who says I'm not black. - You doing spicy wagyu, yeah? - Yeah, bro. - That's crazy. What, you didn't jut wanna let
the fats like do their ting? - Nah, fuck that. - Okay, so I need to get
some flour on me hands. Why's it soft. - Oh. - That's hot. That is hot, bro. That'll only take minutes. - Oh. - Are you preparing it
on like a plate as well? - Yeah, yes. Look I'm getting it ready. Relax! Wow! - When I flip it, I'll put the cheese on. - I agree, I agree. - Cool, cool. Sweet. I should probably start boiling the water for
the poached egg then. - You can get boiling
water out the boiling tap. - You've got a boiling tap? - Yeah. - Boujee. - Jesus Christ. - Look at that. Ohh. I'm cooking. - You're cooking, yeah. - Shut up. - Oh, no. - Oh, it's horrid. - What is that? - My pizza. - That's your pizza? - Apparently. - What? If I touch
that, it's like boiling? - Yeah, yeah. - What does it look like? - If you had kids or something
this is like terrifying. - It's safety things. - Okay. Look at this, I'm living in the future. - Bon Appetite. I mean... - Wagyu, done. - Uh, Japanese words. - He catches it. - Are you going to break
your egg on to there? - No I'll break it into a mug and I'll pour it from the mug into that and I'll lower it in with this. I think that's my tactic. - Oh, I feel like you might lose the yolk. I feel like you're better
doing what they do on the video with the mug, where you like. - You reckon? - Yeah.
- Yeah. - Just spank me, babe, just spank me. Just spank me, babe. - That's not Italian. - I can't believe what I'm seeing. - Ay you lot want some? - Bro, I said earlier, right. - Ay, it looks good, innit. - I said earlier to Harry, this is proof, this video,
that YouTubers never cook. They don't ever, ever cook. Not any of us can do
anything in the kitchen. - Well this has got breadcrumbs on it now so to the bin it goes. - It's going in bread. - Nah, it's going in eggy bread. I don't want raw crumbs in the bread. - I can't believe what I've just seen. - Bro, I've got a whole packet here. - I can't believe what I've just seen. - Oh, dear. - You'd have thinked he
dropped it on the floor. - Nah but I'm. - Like where's he going with the ham. - I know what I'm going
to do while I wait, I'm gonna tuck in to my
other French delicacy. I've decided to go boujee. Got myself some cheese and wine. Now I probably should've got brie but instead I've got Babybel. A French delicacy. - Can you please speak Italian
when you're doing that. - Ah okay, mi scuse, me pizza, me pasta. We float, we catche. - That looks disturbing. - Where's it actually made? Let's see. - Not France. - Oh my god, it's made in France. - No, it's not. - It's made in France. The cheese is from France. I've actually got myself French cheese. - He's smashed it. - All right, you got a wine glass, Vik? - I know you're jealous,
you're jealous, you're jealous. - It looks good. - You're jealous, you're jealous. - Nah it looks good. - You're jealous, he's
jealous, he's jealous. He's there like, yo I did not
expect this from this man. - Well I'm not gonna
drink it out the bottle. - I've seen you do that. - Yes, but those were the dark days, Toby. I'm mature guy now. I'm trying to enjoy a
leisurely glass of wine. - That's actually a red wine glass. - Uh, uck, get away from me. - We throw. Yes. Yes. Aw yes. - You see that. - What's up, bruh? - It's okay, it's okay. - No, you see how I'm caressing
the ting as well, bro. Fingering it and that. - Okay, yeah. Okay. - Bruv. - When I go Nobu, you know
what I'm gonna do next time? I'm gonna say, yo can you
finger my nigiri, please. - Yeah. - Flour. - [Simon] And he's ruined it. - Spread it. Spread it. Ah yes. - See, I feel like I'm just
cooking the German way. Just being efficient, you know. - Oh, sexual. - Prepping season. Are you okay? - Bro, I'm just turned on by my food, bro. It's making me move kinda... Ay, is that you? Oh. Oh, you like? Ay, you guys can have some as well. Take a piece. Ay, there it is. - I had to do it to 'em. - Yeah. Look at me. - Cheers, boys. - Cheers, lads. To a nice day of different countries. Lovely. Another shithouse video from the Sidemen. We're back again. - I'm chefing. - It's totally not the
fact it's forty quid Wagyu. - Mate, does the job, does the job. - Just a man and his sausages, you know. Man and his sausages. - We're off to the races here, boys. And again. That's what I like to see. - He likes to live life dangerously. - Ohh, saucy. - All four of them flipped. - You'd have this for dinner? - Would I? No, not on a normal day, no. But those tricky frenchmen might. - Oh, you're salt bae'ing it. That was so 2017 mate. - It was cool though, right. What the fuck? - What do you mean, what the fuck? - I turn around, I salt bae'd for a minute and what the fuck? - I'm making fish. What's wrong? - Yeah, you're making fish, yeah. - [Vik] Nice. - Okay, now what? - Right now, carry the bowl and plate over and just drop. - Well hang on, all the bloody yolk. - You have to do it, you have
to take that over as well. - This looks shit. I'm sacking it off, I'm
not doing it like that. - He watches the tutorial
video and is like I don't know what I'm doing. - Boys, it's stressful, it's stressful. - I burnt my sausage, look at it. - That's what happens if you
do reverse cowgirl too hard. Have you seen that before? - No. - Just carry the plate
under, just get it to there. There's no rush. - There is a rush. - There isn't, there isn't, you've got a few seconds. You've got a few seconds, you're fine. Get it in there. - Go! Go, go, go, go, go! She's in. - Oh no, you're supposed to do it slowly. Oh no. - That's fine, that's fine. - That's not fine at all,
you're supposed to do it slowly. You've made tentacles of egg white. It's supposed to go in together. - It's fine. - You know what, it's looking decent. - It's actually fine,
that's fine, that's fine. - You hearing my sausages? - Oh no, dripple. - My sausages are screaming, bro. - Hundred and fifty millilitres of beer. Yeah. Beer. - Ah. I know, I know but just want
to get it over and done with. Do I add chilies? Nah
it's too late for chilies. - It looks very Japanese that, mate. - Yeah, man, we got the
wagyu, we got the fish. - Is this anti-pasta, this
isn't for the pizza, is it? - No, that's just for me. - I want to eat it. - You are German. - Yes. - You can't eat food outside your country. - We take what we want. - No. - And then, carefully, flip it on. Ah! - That. - Oh, it's burnt. - Oh, no. - No, it's fine, it's fine, it's fine. I think the other one's fine. Yeah, there. You didn't see anything. - There you go. - You didn't see anything,
you didn't see anything. - Oh no. - That's fine, a little
bit of singe is nothing. - Are you gonna put beer in it? - Yeah, it's beer batter, bro. - Beer batter? Is that what batter always has? Beer? - A lot of it does, yeah. - Fucking hell. - Oh not bad presentation,
these Frenchmen... Oh no! Oh no, oh no, oh no. Oh no, oh no, oh no. (laughing) - Just wack it on, bruv. - No, it's got water coming off it, bro. - Just do it like that
before it goes in again. Bro, it's gonna go, it's gonna go. - Lord have mercy. Okay, right. Get this bastard over. - You know what? - And we have a Croque madame. - Damn. - I might eat these soon. - Look, that's a cheesy pizza as well. I'm actually kind of excited now. - This looks, this is
starting to really look nice. - And then we get this. - Beating your meat. - Come on. Come on. Beer batter, ha ha. - God. - The cheese has melted. - The cheese has indeed melted. The eggs got, the eggs got. You know what? We take that. We definitely take that. - It's alright. Pop that back on top. Come on. - Bish, bash, bosh. Bang bang. (clapping) Thank you boys, nice. - Innovator. - Let me try, wait. - You have to innovate, it's all about the KSI windmill. You've broken the rules. You can only eat your
own food for the day. - You've definitely made something. - I've made beer batter, bro. You ready? Kamehameha! - Oh my god. - All right, we're going
for the taste test. You know what? - Decent? - Beautiful. Not amazing, but good enough. - I missed. This is harder than it looks. - Yes. Ah shit. Aim for the left hand side. - Why are we just getting it in one patch? - My Nigerians will know,
this is called pounded yam. Harry described it as what? - Punched up yam. - Punched up yam. You know, they kind of just ground it down in a, kind of like, massive. I don't even know how to describe it. - Just eat my food, fuck
it, just have it all. Just have it all, man. How is it? - Good, yeah. I mean it's just salmon. - Yeah. - I don't even know if
we're meant to do this but we'll find out. - Bro, try it, try a bit of the yam. - And now, you're going
a bit too overboard. Now you're making a pepperoni plus. No-one wants that. - I'm working, bruh. I'm working. I'm making greatness here. You may be making meat, you're making meat. That's what you're doing,
you're making meat. Stop rushing the fucking king. - How many times do you open that though? - Stop rushing the fucking king, alright? - Just get what you need
to fucking get so I can... - Stop rushing the fucking king, alright? - Yeah, have a bite of that, bro. - Is it dry? - Is it dry? Bro, I've
lost sense of my mouth. - Have a drink. Have a drink. - Right. Oh no. Can I cook it here? - Just take a blowtorch to it. How you gonna do this? - Hold up. - It's like congregated
at the back of my throat. It's having a meeting right now. - It's not working. - It moves when I move. It's not solid. - You've messed up here. You shoulda done it on a sheet of foil. - The thing is, they have like a proper. - Yeah but you should've
done it on a sheet of foil. - Can the great saviour of the
kitchen have the stand now? - Yes, you may have the stand. - My mum cuts them like this. - That's brave. - That seems a bit risky, no? - No, she does it so good, man. - That's one way of doing it. - Now they're frying. - Why are you blending
the chilli in the water? - That's what the thing says
so that's what I'm doing. - All right, all right. - He's making devil water. - Bro. - I'm making beer batter fish and chips. He's just a fucking bitch. - Bars. - Yeah. You can expect me to be on a top five tune in the next year or so. - Um, no. - Let me do an ad lib
on one of your tunes. - What you mean? - You know like an intro, like a FaceTime or something. Or like an interlude on
an album or something. - What would you do? - Act like it's a FaceTime. Listen, bro, I'm about my money. And then it goes into like a gas song. We're about our money this year. Me and the guys. Then it just flings it into a song. Come on. - That, honestly, looks like vomit. - Is that how it's supposed to look? - Don't say that, bro. Yes, yes. That's good. - Oh no, it's stuck. I was really excited about this, Simon. No it's stopped. - Yeah. Maybe, maybe one day. - Cheers, and do I get
royalties for that, yeah? - Okay. Course, course you do, innit. - Safe, bro. See this is why you leave
the skin on the tatties because look, when they
start frying up nicely and you got the skin on the ends. Skin on the top of some of them. Get that colour, yeah. Come on. - I'm gonna add in my okras
now to the rest of it. - [Harry] I mean. - [Toby] I think it's a bit too blended. - Bro, do you know what? I'm just me. I'm existing, and I'm happy. I'm making chips. - Yeah, and just eating my steak. - Saying that, you got more? - Fam, I beg. There's
actually no steak left. - This doesn't go under it. - Go from the outside. - Look, I'm just pushing it. You know what? I think you just do one swift movement and fix it once it's on. - Think I can eat it? Like that. - No. - Ah. Stop going away from me. Work with me. - Where is the? - Where's it gone? - Where did you put it? You took it, you doughnut. Put it back. Put it back. - What's happened? - Harry, put it back. - Bro, put what back? Don't look at me. - Where did you put it? - Don't look at me, bro. - Why have you put that on that, that's hot. You can't put that on a chair. - I dunno, I was bored lads. You had your back to us, I
thought I'd take the okra. - And we're gonna dry them off and then put them in the oven to finish off doing what they do best. - Yeah, enough about him. Let's talk about me. Look at this fucking meal. Mmmmmm. We got some noodles, we got some salmon, hidden
away under the noodles, and then we have the Wagyuuuuuu steaaaakk! - There's a meal and
a half, mate, that is. That's a unit of a meal. - Add the yam, while stirring
with your right hand. Your well mixed dough,
breaking any lumps with the back of your wooden spoon. Is it well mixed yet? - It's getting there.
- It's mixing. - We're getting there. So next up, add a dash of hot water to cook it properly. You've already done that. - Well we might have to add more. - There you go. - [Cameraman] Nah, nah, leave it on there. - It's hanging out everywhere. - Yeah just cut it. - [Cameraman] Cut the paper. - I made this. - You just wait until this, this show's just getting started. - Yes, look at me pounding yam. - You're gonna get invited
to the cookout, bro. - Take note, everyone, of how I'm pounding this yam, alright. There's yam everywhere. - Absolutely love you. - Okay, so, next step. Pizza, finally in it's place. Will go in the oven for
about twenty minutes. - [JJ] Just saying, bruh. - Bitch, tits. Tits on a bitch. - This is thickening as well. - Huh? - This is thickening. - Is it? - Slowly but surely, yeah. - I mean the more you
boil it, the longer it'll, the more it'll thicken. - Goku! (laughing) - Holy shit. That was bad. - Why was that bad? - Goku! - What are you doing? - Bro, bro, I'm not
putting my hand in there. - Get the thing up on the side. Get it on the side. - Vik, can you save my stuff please. - Stop, stop. All right, all right,
just chuck it in that pot. - All right, there we go. - My sausages are done. - Once again, Simon has
cooked some sausages. - Right, we're going to
use a little bit of flour as a binding agent. And then we dip it in the batter, and that's when things start
getting incredibly exciting. - This is so runny. That is too runny. - That's fine bro, that's fine. I'll get my yam out. - These are the same, chuck it in there. - It's in, it's in, it's in. - Fish and batter baby, fish and batter. Oh. Oh, it's falling apart. - Ahhhhhhh. - What's happened? - Ahhhhhhh. Making it crack. - You're gonna do it like that? Okay. - Easy. I'm gassed, you know. I'm gassed. - And then you just kind
of spoon it and then eat. - Boom, bit of fish. One bit of fish. On it's way. - Cheers mate, em. - Bellissimo. - Dunno what that is. There's a little bit
hanging off, but fuck it. We take those. That looks fucking unreal. - That's all right, no? - Bro it tastes good. - It tastes good. - It's a little bit
soft but it's all right. - It's cool as well,
it's something different. I'm not used to eating
with my fingers like this. - Get involved, have another bratwurst. Which ones the bratwurst? That one? - That one, yeah. - This is banging, it just feels very... - Do you feel African right now? - Yes, yes, I feel very African, Toby. - Fish and Chips, chips chips chips. - Fish and Chips, chips chips chips. - I'm making keema, or as
English people would say, kee-ma. - Keema? - Keema Naan? - Yeah, as in, yeah. - So it's like minced meat,
Indian flavoured mince meat. - Fucking hell, I'm stuffed. - I'm not surprised mate,
that was a big plate. - Yeah, I fucking ate a lot. Oh my god, I didn't
know there was so much. - Now that is some finely sliced garlic. - [Harry] Jeez. - We're ready. (mumbles) - I'll be honest, I
don't think there's any German food I really
like, apart from sausages. (mumbles) - Fuck, I ain't gonna
have space for yours. - I know, it's crazy that. - Nah, I'll make space. Done, have my food. - I'm tryna eat less meat so I'm gonna try some Quorn mince. - Okay, interesting. - He doesn't look impressed. You know what, the Quorn mince is good, sometimes when I have it with bolognese I can't even tell that it's not meat. - Okay. I thought you were
going to say something like, we've got fresh wagyu mince. I thought you were going
to bust something out. - Yeah, you know what, that's a good idea. - Are you actually gonna try and shit? - [JJ] Yeah, I'mma shit bruv - Do you reckon you could just shit now. - Bro, do you want me to show you? - No, no, no, no. - I'll shit on my hand and show you. - No, no, no, I've seen your poo, bro. I've seen a nugget. I've literally seen the nugget
of poo that comes out of you. I'm okay. - It comes with a lot of ice. That's fine, that's fine. Don't worry about it,
don't worry about it. - Add some butter, add some
salt and pepper and stuff, and just smash them up pretty much. Pretty much all we're gonna do. But we want proper mushy peas. - [Simon] That actually bangs. - Oh, yeah. - [Simon] This bit is the
only, that takes it to a nine. This, ten. - It might be awful
though when we taste it. - But I'm giving that a nine out of ten. - It's hot, it's hot. - Bro, this is wild. - All right, screw it,
we're putting it all in. - All of it? - Yeah, it's fine, I'll put
it in the fridge for later. - Bro, bro. - Get back in there, you little fucking. You think you're escaping
the death hammer? Nope. - Can I eat this now? - Yeah, go for it. I'm just checking how good this is. You know what? I think we're on to a winner here. - That actually looks good. - It smells good too. - Bro, what is this? - Get off my food, fuck off. Fuck off, Harry. - Look what's in the pan, bro. - Fuck off. - It's nearly go time, you know, I'm actually so excited
to see it on the plate. So excited. - Go on. Oh, you're gonna have the
burnt top of the mouth. That's the worst. Three days of sadness. - Oh wow, I've come back
and it still looks shit. - Thanks. - Sea salt flakes. Voila. Boom! Are you seeing this? Yes, I did that. - We've broken the ice. - Finally. - We made land. It's all coming together now. - He's missed out on the greatness. This man is shitting and I've done this. - The thing is right. - I made that. - Doesn't mean anything
unless we taste it. Nah, you can't. It's not that great. - Is it actually not? - It was so hot, I
couldn't taste anything. - Look at it cooked,
look at it, look at it. Oh my god. - I'm slightly concerned
that this is really dry. - It looks really dry, bro. - Cause the meat wouldn't... - It's here, it's here. - I'll have two teaspoons of that. - Yeah oil, should we just
get some oil in there? - I made space. Oh so you've made even more. You gave me? What's this? - What? - What's this? - I've finished mine,
that's your meal, bro. - You cooked for me? - Yeah. - I really like it but
it's not a normal pizza. - No, it's sourdough though. - I'd still give it a pass. It's still good. - A pass? - It's good, I'd give it a B plus. - B plus is good actually, I'll take that. - I'll give it a B plus. - We gotta add some tomato puree, it doesn't say how much so
we're just gonna go for it. - The one comment I will say, is it does look very dry still. - Yeah, hopefully the peas will save it. - Damn. Now watch, he's gonna watch me eat. - I'm gonna go and get a beer. I'm gonna go and get a beer. - Con, dip your toes in. - Come on Con. - I don't wanna show my head on camera. - John ate sausage juice, bro. Show your head. - Oh, you're bald. - What's the best bit on
there? The chips, you reckon? What you reckon? - I think there both
as good as each other. - Say less. - Not to gas you up. - You know, it came a long
way from the martian soil. - Yeah, it looks lovely. - You know what it reminds me of? Like a taco filling. - Yeah. Kind of. I wish I could've got pita
bread cause you can fill pita breads with it, and eat it. And it's actually quality. - The real test here, if you
were to serve this in India, would they spit in your face? - I dunno. - Okay. - It's good, innit. - Like a school dinner's pizza. - The pizza's the one you
always looked forward to. - What we saying? - That's not bad at all. Try some of that. Break off some bread and just scoops on. I can't tell it's not meat. Trust me, trust me. - Do we have another contestant? Would you like a homemade chip? - Yeah. - [Ethan] Yeah? Do you like mushy peas? - Yeah. - Yeah, look I made that from scratch, me. - It looks good. - I did that. - He's very excited. - Well, I failed this video. - Have you? - I've drunk French beer all
day and I've eaten sausages. The hotdogs are definitely
an American brand. - And French baguettes. - And a French baguette,
I failed this video. I've eaten your pizza
and I've enjoyed that more than any of mine. - But, you tried, and
that's what matters really. - Did I? - Yeah cause you... - You're going for a real taste test. That's gonna be hot. Actually not too hot. Hot? Yeah, all right? I can't believe this. My mum's recipes really coming in huge. - And it's not as dry
as it looks, it's nice. - Yeah, it looks way drier than it is. - [JJ] Outta ten? - Okay, it's going bad now. - Nah, nah nah, hold up. Outta ten, outta ten. - Out of five. - Okay. - All right, I'mma be
real. It was dead, bruv. - Did you season the batter? - Okay. Okay. - Bro, nah, bro you looked so happy. I was just there like, I can't, I can't. (upbeat music)
