20-Year-Old Shopping Addict Faces Monstrous Debt | Spendaholics | Only Human

they don't come much cheekier than Tommy McNally this 20 year old bank lot from Bromley and Kent is a self-confessed shopping addict in the two years since starting work he's managed to land himself with credit card areas of 14,500 pounds a monstrous debt which is eating up his modest take-home salary of 10,000 pounds credit car companies but you know life goes on Tommy's passion for the high life has plunged him deep into the red perfect when it comes to spending arrest me because I'm guilty Tommy's going down not least because of a relentless thirst for online shopping it's quite an addiction I've got to stay do I have to set my alarm to wake up and bid for it fortunately help is at hand lifestyle expert Jay hunt and psychological coach Benjamin for I have just five weeks to slam the brakes on Tommy's runaway spending you're gonna get left behind when everybody else is getting their lives sorted and you're not but it seems the journey from debt to solvency terms of my might get bumpy I just hope that having helping out will make me change coz because I need to I think I really need to [Music] Tommy McNally is walking a tightrope with a debt of 14,500 pounds he regularly spends twice what he earns and sticks the difference on his overstretch credit cards Tommy with his money he'll just he's going he'll spend it things are so tight he can barely meet the minimum repayment credit class that meets that reason they make that they don't make for lot reason really his mom Charmaine is considering a more hands-on approach that amount he could be right I could strangle him how I forgot spent five ninety to make matters worse he's handed in his notice at the bank because it interferes with his passion for football something he used to play at a semi-professional level I didn't have to leave it because because it clashed with my mom my games on Saturday football is is just some great game and luckily enough I know that another play it sexually with his debts mounting and no intention of repaying them Tommy's in real trouble I don't think Tommy realized he's got a problem through spending he just sees it as fun and looking good but yes well you money so I don't kill no wonder when you think that I could be worse it's the toughest case yet for our experts Jay Hunt and Benjamin fry Tommy lives with his mum younger brother and sister on the outskirts of Bromley while house is empty our experts borrow the keys and have a poke around thereafter clues as to why Tommy's in so much debt this must be the main living room oh look there he is Tommy quite interesting these pictures are all of Tommy must be up to the age of what 10 they're all of like the family as young children I hope it wasn't all downhill from their own this is interesting it's a poem about his mother by Tommy there is framed and up is obviously a very special memory for someone yeah find out more about Tommy and later on I suspect they head for Tommy's bedroom while Jay is looking to see where the money's going Benjamin searching for the psychological motives behind Tommy spending bingo definitely a man's room oh my god it's about 20 pairs here some people collect stamps people collect different things that I happen to collect football boots you're talking about a hundred pounds plus per pair so what does that say product Gucci football I think this guy is a Footballers Wives husband it's not like a football as fantasy to come home to this this is like man's boutique isn't it look at all this these are real sort of footballers watches us no one I think these two a fake see these are the Jacob ones all the footballers wear but that yeah definitely isn't a fake so that's about 1,500 pounds worth of Jacob what Wow footballers favorite so this is really blingtastic hmm he kind of went that image the football is kind of flash lifestyle officer I find a folder because I'm not a footballer but I've never really thought about that because I hadn't I have mr. credit card well you can tell how his priorities are because these are all so neatly put here and these are all stacked up this is definitely a football display a shop window isn't it yeah look at all of those controls trust me that's normal from is it no way who's this lad here managers player 2045 Tommy McNally it's obviously quite good look at this oh I'm delighted to tell your application for a credit card has been accepted in your credit limit is 2,000 pounds so he's obviously just applied coach e-wallet stuff credit cards oh look packages packets packets every note so you get a postman can't be bothered to ring your bell there's loads of boxes over there but what's he buying with the internet auction sites I will buy pretty much anything PayPal PayPal PayPal those are for Internet auctions total unpaid balance eight thousand two hundred and fifteen pounds yeah it is that's not one isn't that payment to McNally reference man of the house I mean irresponsible child at the house might be more yes but I guess he may be actually the man of the house I think there's quite a conflict here between the boy and the man man boy boy man come on let's go see what we can do with armed with Tommy's bank and credit card statements Jay and Benjamin prepare to put his spending under the microscope [Music] when Tommy was four years old his father left the family leaving Charmaine to bring up three small children as the eldest Tommy rose to the challenge worked hard at school and got a job I mean Tommy ain't very like he's very independent he's matured so much quicker than what he may or may have have my mom's always left me to kind of be my style because I've been so mature and Vincent organized and some some aspects my life I'm independent and I'll know how to act and kind of deal with society in a go out and get a job so the perilous state of his finances has come as a big shock this is what's annoyed me with him really he's so sensible and so organized since he was seven I don't know why he's got himself into this now where his his intelligence gone I'm mature in some ways just not everyone money I just kept thinking one day I'm gonna win a lottery one down now I get offered a football contract I just kind of thought that some one or somehow was some personal payoff for me I never imagined the way I'd pay it back would be saving in and living hard having trawled through tommy statements Benjamin and Jay have identified his two key indulgences with just five weeks to crack his addiction it's time for a reality check great come here Tommy introduce you to yourself in this is about your spending on football paraphernalia yes those are your boots these are your strips and what we figured out is that you have enough shirts here for an entire football team but not just this football team also for the opposition as well [Music] [Applause] straight red card you spent in the last 12 months 2500 pounds on football kit what do you think of that it's not money did you know it was that much not in my wildest dreams how much did you think it's been deep he was that much but if the thing is just worth it these guys look good guys you calmed you greatly and okay for your roman abramovich buy whatever you want but for you is it really okay to spend that much the next 12 months can we make it less yes but it's a game of two halves back at the family home there's a second twist in the tale now why do you think we put all these clocks here what do you think this signifies run out of time time's up well there are a hundred and eight clocks here Tommy and each of them represents fifty pounds that you've spent on the Internet in the last year then if you look behind you you'll see that chair is that real car back that that is five thousand four hundred pounds well you could have banked it actually if you hadn't wasted that amount of money on all your internet purchases the last twelve months would you say that the amount of stuff you've bought is really honestly worth the five thousand four hundred pounds it used twenty five grand not don't know what is I've brought I mean if I'd have come here today and given you a check for five thousand four hundred pounds that would have been great wouldn't it yeah so what we start thinking is sort of the reverse psychology of how we can start saving money instead of frittering that around to where you tell me how okay what I'm gonna leave that check and leave all the clocks up here because what we're gonna do is to go downstairs and talk to you about your cold turkey budget for the next seven days oh yes Tommy takes home a modest 10,000 pound salary to live within his means and start clearing his debt he needs to slash his expenditure to the bare minimum so Benjamin and Jay set a budget which does just that [Music] so tell me what we're going to talk to you about now is working out what your budgets going to be for your cold turkey week but before we start talking about that I just wanted to ask you if you had any idea of what your average spend is in a week at the moment wait 100 pound so you reckon on average in a way you're getting through about maybe pick maybe maybe that 200 pound some weeks okay but not more than that well actually we've been through all your statements and what we've worked out is that on an average week your spend on non-essential items is 359 pounds that is what you get through you can't be that much it is that much that's why you're in debt what do you think of that I'm shocked honestly I didn't know didn't write us that much that's a lot of money that's a week mm-hmm every week well this week is gonna be your cold turkey week and that means you're going to have seven days surviving on the least amount of money that you think you can cope with and I just wondered what you thought that amount should be fraser pound two hundred who you thought you were already spending two hundred anyway well how's that less than 1 980 spend 190 somehow I thought told me would be a hard Bergner yes well we're definitely give you a tenner it ain't enough that's not we're not honest that's cheap that's what we reckon you should give it a go for what the thing is I don't if we want say London Transport was like five coins a time okay that's fair enough forty quid a week really nice yeah five nope it's so much no no way good luck I need it Tommy's been given a rude awakening now it's time to pull the plug on his high-voltage spending [Music] it's day one of cold turkey and Tommy's off to a good start normally he'd buy a sandwich for lunch but with his 40-pound budget in mind he's making his own do this makes allergies which is a very disappointing because I not very good at it one and two later that read tastes very nice but nice isn't an option when you're broke lemon curd later that day Tommy's had to travel into central London for an interview he's looking for a new job having handed in his resignation at the bank and the timing couldn't be worse I'm absolutely fuming because eight month bully for a stupid train even though even though it's only going cut the miles and it's a stupid rubbish train I don't know how I'm going to cope I don't know Tommy may have saved on his lunch but the travel costs take a big bite out of his budget it's been a difficult day but cold turkey is working its magic it's actually quite fun kind of trying to plan your week around the budget because then it's kind of sensible when you fool if immature and it's quite strange because already I'm kind of that were thinking about what I'm spending money on and I'm trying to make plans for our days and then kind of budget day two and the weekends underway Tommy staying off the internet and out of the shops if I go on the Internet I'll just see something that I want or like and I just purchase it releases so my best bet to avoid that is just not just to go in there full stop instead he's off to football training on his strict budget Tommy can't afford to fill his bikes empty petrol tank today it's four wheels not to I'm a bus stop waiting to get a bus because there's cheaper than getting my motorbike it takes longer and it's boring but it's cheaper and the Hmong cold turkey week so every penny counts but his resolve doesn't buckle later instead of opting for a night out with his teammates Tommy decides to stay in with some chicken and chips have what keep it rolling get your chips I'll make do like the rap chicken wrap a 350 so so expensive for me women budget yeah it's gorgeous [Music] Tommy's now halfway through cold turkey week and so far he's managing to stick to budget unable to clean out his bank account he is concentrating on his wardrobe instead and finds a pair of shorts to sell to a friend I've managed to decide is very tricky I said to him if he gives me a fiver VFP say it's not great deal money but is it helps I'm not using him so and there was just sitting here collecting dust so I just only hope he doesn't justice well great awesome my shorts Tommy's not just saving money he's making it as well I know he's teaching me some good lessons cold turkey so it's not all the name suggests it's quite stupid it's not it's good some kind of importance to it I've got half money left and I think I can do it you can do it [Music] cold turkeys proving to be a steep learning curve for Tommy having to stick to a tight budget is causing him to rethink his attitude to money kind of perfect I can't manage my own money and and I need help it's kind of like a half thing for me to admit but I admit it I admit that I can't fold what I'm doing it's affecting me and I really do want to change if Tommy's to break his cycle of spending it's vital he understands what's been causing it psychological coach Benjamin Frye has arranged to meet him to take a closer look at what's behind this crippling addiction I think generally speaking with people who spend too much money or dysfunctional with any behavior including money there's more to the story and in Tommy's case I definitely feel like spending is really just scratching the surface what do you think it's about what do I mean what does it feel like for you it's a spending it's just my house this is a happy really well the pressure that drives you to make that purchase even when you know you shouldn't in your head I think is emotional it comes from a kind of emotional sense of I can't live without it right now do you think that's right I feel saying that I just like I know it's so easy to purchases but you know also you can't afford it but you do what sure I know it sounds bad for me to say no I wouldn't needs what you doing with these earrings no one these boats but it's not something about that my life depends on this is something I like everyone has a kind of image type or clothes I'd like to buy and that you're compulsively driven to it it's not just you want it you can't pull back from it even when you know you haven't got the money for it isn't pretty deep he's got his hooks in you Tommy's reluctant to consider any kind of emotional trigger behind his spending compulsion but Benjamin's persevere what does your mother think about the day what that I don't I think I think she leaves that kind of side so I tomorrow is I take one that's my own responsibility so she just as more responsibility I've never really put anything I've done on her because I saw when she was younger how much pressure she was undoing her own in that so I just even from an early age I said in the right I just didn't want to ask it was hungry or unless it sounds it sounds very bad but it wasn't because I just I just see how much trash was undone I just I knew in my head that I didn't I didn't want to put any more on her so you're taking care of it yeah and from there I just grew up really on my own really that kind of like I still needed her laughing that maybe you kind of grew up too young maybe but me I think it's a good thing though so the way you became the man of the house yeah it's like that joke yeah isn't it yeah I'll put them back same every month under in do you think it's possible though that you became kind of a man when you were a boy and now that you're becoming a man you're hanging on to being above ways yes that's very true I think for you it's you know you can add face challenges going through this time because you needed to in a way mature earlier than most people and I think therefore there is something in this whole story about you and your mom that I'd like to address Tommy's clearly reluctant to take on board my suggestions as to why he is overspending but I do think that the relationship with his mother meant that he had to grow up far too fast far too young and therefore in a way I'm not surprised as an adult he actually starts to behave like a kid I definitely think this needs further investigation it's the last day of cold turkey and Tommy's determined to come in under budget despite having just 13 pounds 90 of his original 40 pounds he's planned a bargain night out in Croydon and the solution is a matter of taste I'm currently drinking cider as you can see and it tastes absolutely disgusting but you know it gets you drunk although you're sacrificing a bit taste I think it's worthwhile so it goes nothing um I mean you can save more money by climb down on the stupid things they bust for no reason no it's a lie you got problems with nine pounds remaining tommy has enough to cover the taxi fare home but the lure of the kebab shop is too overwhelming Jay I know it looks bad mate but I just could not resist the kebab I want pasta shop and it literally spoke to me it's a sacrifice I spent four pounds so now I need to gain four pound back because also it also gets rid of the horrible taste of cider with just four pounds left Tommy can no longer afford the eight pound taxi fare home so for the first time in ages he's forced to brave the night bus Tommy sailed through cold turkey with flying colors by giving a wide berth to the shops and Internet he's managed to spend just 37 pounds and 10 P of the 40 pounds he started with but the prospect of a no-frills future to pay off his debt is a bitter pill to swallow it's time for Jay to draw up a long-term plan that's both appealing and effective my whole life I've just I just thought it's gonna be so easy to pay it back and then I've realised no it's not going to be I've tried to knock on on my own okay Tommy so here is your new budget and you know it's based on you getting another job that you want to get in banking so at the moment you've been spending 1903 month right and we've cut it down to 1060 persons first on behalf but before we look where we're going to take money from and what we're going to cut down on we've really got to address these credit loans because at the moment you're not even keeping your head above water they're all starting to send you letters saying can you start paying us back your credit rating is bad so you're not going to get another card hmm we've got to get you paying this back now at the moment you're paying back a hundred and sixty pounds a month aren't you on land now those the minimum payments you're paying back yeah suggested because we're recommending that you pay 600 pounds a month in order to pay your debts off in two and a half years you could be clear all gone of all of that yeah cool yeah hello in two-and-a-half years on a clean slate with his spending slashed by half and huge Suede's of his income set aside for credit-card repayment Tommy will have to live on a shoestring now the bad news you're not gonna like is sky and broadband okay we're recommending that goes right how much one beloved Arsenal the internet auction sites are costing you four hundred and fifty pounds a month and we're recommending that goes to zero I thought rages holidays at the moment 1901 towards that the miscellaneous purchases which is all the sort of sports stuff I love sports clothes just buy two teams we're gonna cut that down to naught so do you think this is something that you could stick to I know it's bad food sakes I need to get myself out of this debt but I don't we just live I want to live and have a bit of fun what you could do is just carry on but you're not gonna get a mortgage you're not gonna get a loan for a car you're not going to get anything that you're going to start to want fairly soon hmm it's hardly love at first sight for Tommy and his new budget but Jays thought of a way to illustrate his situation because budgeting can be a piece of cake so Tommy when you got your first pay packet the first time you got that and you saw money in there I saw you mine I saw that I was getting paid what I was gonna spend so it's almost like your salary comes in you just go and spend if it adds up it adds up and if it doesn't it doesn't just some just some random random spending okay well what sometimes quite helps is being able to visualize amounts and if we visualize this cake as being at Tommy's pay Packers so this amount here okay is going to pay back your debts so that's gone you're paying your rent aren't you which has gone to your mum what you really need to be doing is putting that much aside for future things like a mortgage and a car so that is what you need to be visualizing when it comes to how much money you've got to play with still think you've got all of that and that is part of the problem that's a good point my worry with you is that unless you start thinking about it now you are going to be left behind fairly soon because whilst it's funny at 20 at 28 when all of your mates are starting to buy their own houses getting really decent cars maybe having two holidays a year you are still going to be living at your mum's hiding the letters from the credit cards because that's what would be really sad to see you left behind there because you're bright you're clever and if you put your mind to this you can do it yeah so that is how much cake you've got for Tommy every month for the next two and a half years but if you want to get sorted do you think you can cope with that you can after now I think the thing with Tommy is that we've had to go right back to basics underneath the bravado and underneath or the patter is somebody who has never sat down and worked out how to divide up a monthly pay packet and it really is as simple as that he's never worked out how you do that tommy's now two weeks into his retail therapy and the shock of Jays tough new budget is forcing him to sort out his chaotic finances having worked out his notice at the bank he's now urgently looking for a new job I've just flitted interview now and I've got through to the final stage it's a lot better pay than my last job if I get this job then I could obviously still stick to the budget and have a few luxuries so I fingers crossed he may be full of good intentions but he won't beat his spending habit until he faces up to the reasons behind his behavior his reluctance to give much away in his first encounter has led Benjamin to arrange a meeting with Tommy's mom Charmaine in the hope of learning more about his childhood now I'm delighted that you've wanted to make yourself available to talk today because you can begin to help me to understand Tommy and what you feel is going on with the spending we do painting I'm interested in how Tommy particularly rather than the other two maybe took on by necessity a different role as the oldest son because he described himself as the man of the house and I guess for many years he was the oldest man in there well no because I did have a second partner after their father when I did have a second partner and things were really really good I mean Kevin was more like their father than their father unfortunately situations happen and we tried for a child after seven years together and it won't bei you'd lost a baby I and I left Kevin and just I never even discussed it with my children and they'd still were very very fond memories and so Tommy would have seen you very distressed he does seen that there's no longer a father figure in the house and you think he's stepped into that role yeah everywhere so he really became a man after night out of necessity I checked him out of his chapter discovering that shaman lost a baby and then left her partner when Tommy was only 11 is a revelation benjamin thinks these events had a deep effect on Tommy forcing him to grow up quickly to help his mother deal with the loss and I don't think it's any accident perhaps that as he actually became a man he starts to revert to slightly irresponsible behavior when at a time when he should have been more childish he was being more responsible yes in terms of your relationship with Tommy at the moment as I understand it there's you know it's difficult is that right we're not in tune with each other we don't talk nor normally about things and if I have got an issue he's just Sophos do you think his behavior towards you in some way is is trying to show his anger and resentment but he can't quite get it out yeah I think so I think him as he Lawson hates me I mean he is like he is angry with me but then he's not if he wants me to be more perfect than what I am and it could be that the spending is partly designed to sabotage himself to punish you because if you can't say I'm an with you and I hate you with his words he's gonna have to say it with his behavior there's a family thing that does really make sense my job is to see if we can't get into a more open and honest dialogue about who he really is and what he really feels so that if he can speak it he doesn't have to behave it I'm very glad I came to see Charmaine today I think that was a real revelation about her family history I do think Tommy's a behavior around the spending is his way of communicating his dissatisfaction his upsetness his anger even his rage about having to become a man too young [Music] benjamín starting to form a clearer picture of what makes Tommy tick and he's keen to catch up with Jay Tommy's now halfway through the five-week process and Benjamin wants to make sure he doesn't fall off the wagon you just think easy on board or isn't e at the moment I'm not quite sure he's 20 but it's like you never know who you're gonna get this sort of person who does show signs of wanting to mature and grow up or Tommy the teenager who just wants to sort of stick two fingers up at you and just put his head in the sand and I know there's more to Tommy and know that there's a man in there and there's a very mature man but he doesn't feel free to release that yet yeah well he's certainly not comfortable with the budget that I've given him he doesn't like that at all and I really get the impression that if we're going to keep him on course with this I need to come up with something quite inspirational because otherwise I feel that no sooner have we started we're gonna lose him straightaway in my work with him Tommy thinks basically that I'm just full of nonsense and people like me aren't worth the time and trouble to talk to however his mother has shown me that actually there's a whole load of emotional issues that that family is sitting on there is so much there and it's so explosive and so difficult so hard to manage I'm not getting anywhere with any of it with Tommy I mean you know the fact is he might actually not take any of this on board he might be the one not that we can't crack well he's very young change is very difficult when you're young because you kind of feel like you're master of the universe and you can do anything you want but Tommy's case I don't know I think he needs help whether he'll accept it we're in new territory here Jay for twenty-year-old Tommy adopting an adult approach to his finances is proving hard going the thing is I am young so an excuse to be in debt but when you're young no you're not allowed to make mistakes that's the most often or make mistakes but this is the glorious which when you just don't give a monkey's butt Tommy staying out of the shops and off the internet is easier said than done that describes shopping as a buzz where you can kind of check site about it and if I say something and I like it I just I just have to buy it even if I can't afford it because the credit cards there so that can give it give me the prospect of sticking to Jays tough new budget for the next two years is making the future look bleak not an exciting he's not really open to living really I could live in a pound a week but then you won't be living with it to be surviving losing his retail fix has left a gaping void in Tommy's life so Jays devised a way to fill it [Music] sato may I call you today go racing have you ever done this before never a tree that I think it becomes parable at 735 pounds a month Tommy's shopping addiction is a habit he can ill afford Jay's hoping that the adrenaline bars of a monthly go-karting session will be a cheap replacement for his retail fix [Music] [Music] good work tom a I was calling a pure pure adrenaline into pure biases just literally certain what's gonna happen and do you think this bars would replace the internet definitely yeah straightaway soon the golf on we go back on I believe about half an hour I just I couldn't get enough of it you came here once a month this will cost you forty seven pounds a month for that kind of price I was spending that on just one top or James or saying stupid and in a month I'd buy ten so for the price of one one of my sins come here have a good day out there's enough race once you get yourself sorted with a job and it's gonna be a bit better pay yeah you can incorporate this into your new budget because for 47 pounds a month you could afford to do this is great as well it was fantastic experience and I think yeah it's perfect so all done so a good day out yes very much I know once I should get trophy somewhere I can see why J chose go cutting because the budget is a bit boring and it's what I've got myself into and consequence of years of neglectful spend in say well it'd be nice to kind of live the next two and a half years whilst trying to reduce my debt have a little bit of fun as well I'm really hoping that this is going to get him to stay on track if he can just understand that he can be on his budget but he can still have treats like this that he really enjoys then I think he finally might be on side tommy's now three weeks into his money makeover and there are clear signs of progress his search for a better paid job is gaining momentum the jobs that I've been accepted for a much better paid and mild job so in terms of income it'd be very useful and I can kind of see myself and work very soon and it's just a case of me finding the right job for myself tommy's even program j's budget into his computer with a few amendments joe's budget is really helpful it's really good but what I'm doing in here is I'm putting it on the computer and making some small changes I'm making kind of adjustments to kind of what I don't think that I need and what I think that I can get away with what I'm basing it on is the average salary of the jobs that I'm applying for and for the first time in his working life Tommy's contemplating saving money instead of spending it I came in today originally to open a sentence account found out the interest that we paying on my debt compared to the interest that I've the earning of my savings is a six times more expensive so soon as that's cleared in future maybe I can go about open the savings account but for the short-term future I've got a kind of pet of my debt we've told me doing so well on a practical level Benjamin's eager to tackle the emotional factors that fuel his addiction he believes that Tommy's compulsive spending is an expression of his resentment and having been forced to grow up too young so today he's arranged to meet Tommy and his mom for a spot of family therapy with both of them separately but the real work remains to be done getting them together in a room you're getting them talking not to me but to each other Benjamin hopes that Tommy's long suppressed frustration toward Charmaine will be brought out into the open enabling Tommy to stop the compulsive spending and move on but breaking ten years of silence will not be the work of moments what I want to do this morning is try to take just a small step towards that kind of relationship where the child becomes an adult and the parent and the child and they're like two adults relating to each other moving on so who would like to start okay tell me just look her in the eye and say so it's uncomfortable you say first- tomatoes it's just this is just a bow for right okay it's just it's just basically that obviously you're a great mom there's nothing ever did that was River wrong you never made no mistakes we never look at me time I did my time didn't always love and I've got everything on it and so they joined jamming and you've got nothing so honest to god my we do not feel about anything I love you what do you never know do you think after I just did leave care that's why I didn't even discuss it with you you okay before that yeah that's what's wrong you don't need to discuss it for us you're the mother you're you make decisions even a lot of bad stuff in your life with you you have and you've lost everyone close to you since you were young and every time we all the time loved it so far I'm still smiling tom when it comes off my Tommy bails out his childhood memories are too complex and painful so Benjamin's left to close the session with Charmaine the only thing that's stopping you too is that there is so much there we've seen how Tommy gets overwhelmed it's only 20 years old and that's quite reasonable he's overwhelmed uh I feel quite guilty for him to know my life and I know that like he says how hard I've had it and all that naked sieve does that meet you yeah and and Tommy needs to be able to talk about it so that the stuff that you know this empty chair at the moment represents Tommy's difficulty in talking about it and it's fine if he needs more privacy to do that but what I want you to try to do with him having set this scene for you here I want you to sit down almost literally in the same place with him and to carry on this conversation this story and not just once or twice but make it part of your life obviously this morning was quite emotional for Tommy and I'm not really surprised I think as a young man this is tough stuff to deal with the one thing that's really positive here is they clearly really love each other and that should really help them so I am very hopeful for them I think this is a major breakthrough for them and in the end I do believe that this will help Tommy grow up and ultimately that more than anything will help him with his spending it's now week four of Tommy's financial makeover and emotional issues aside there's still one key area of is spending that needs cutting down to size but the 2500 pounds a year he doles out on sports kids jumping the other side for a drive-by Jays come up with another plan to replace the buzz of spending with the thrill of earning how do you feel about using your knowledge of sports memorabilia and your love of the internet auction sites to actually earn some money and sell things rather than buy things sounds good to me she's brought Tommy to meet entrepreneur David K who runs a successful business selling sports memorabilia via the Internet this is David so David I was gonna get you to explain to me how you got started really so very much a hobby that turned into a business because Tommy of course there's been buying things now I'm trying to persuade him to get into selling things yeah I've got patrick vieira pictures at Arsenal actually Cole asking Venga can y'all got a lot of stuff so I've probably got a bit of a question to start with do you think there is a big market now for all this sports memorabilia there is a big market as you can see on the internet how do you know what's a good buy to get and where you're going to make more of a mark up again you're going back to the top Premiership clubs the Arsenal's of Liverpool's United's what's the most expensive thing that's here the most expensive thing that's here would probably be the shirt here it's been signed by Kevin Keegan kay Douglas Alan Shearer Paul Gascoigne well two shirts produced with a number seven on the back do you don't find many of those though it's very difficult to get all those signatures together and how much would you be paying for that eight right tell me you'd recognise some of this stuff here doing pretty much all of it recognize how much would that one be that amount is being sold for four hundred seventy pounds with all the signatures on there you've got the lights of on Reaper can't call yeah a new thing is you obviously know the signatures as well do you recognize this is Freddie Freddie Ljungberg shirts now the beauty of this shirt has been born in a game because it it was and how much would that set you about six hundred pounds right obviously it's Brazil shirt signed by we're all senior Ronaldo and then a food cafe what it is it's a shirt with this year's flash on from the World Cup so if you're gonna be speculative will Brazil won the World Cup or the Java value yeah and these sort of players being together again to get a shirt what do you think Tommy yeah very interested obviously everything here is related something that I love and I've got loads of kits at home so I've got enough blank paper got paint the picture so that's so cheesy there's no shortage of kits in your house so it's just taking what you've got and making sure they become a bit more yo signatures on them yeah so that we can start gearing you up to earning some money rather than spending money yeah somebody would like to give you this item arches made you sign the picture obviously as hopefully we'll get you started on your Roth thank you so much is that see step one on the ladder to me was very helpful I'd definitely be interesting it's something kind joy I could meet meet a lot of professionals so and also I could make some money out of it so pretty much perfect match Tommy really seemed to take on board what he was hearing today and I'm hoping that he's going to start to become a sports kit seller rather than a buyer because that means he's gonna start to get his debts paid off even quicker [Music] Tommy's retail therapy is nearing its end Jay has given him the practical tools to tackle his debt and her advice is bearing fruit it's definitely changed me behavior wise I've grown up with my attitude towards money and kind of been an adult about my spending and taking responsibility rather rather than not giving the monkeys and being careless but there's one last area that needs to be resolved Benjamin wants Tommy to come to terms with the emotional factors that have influenced his behavior so Tommy here we are we're actually getting towards the end of our time together no what I want to do is just talk to you about how you feel where you are what's happened what you feel you've got from it and I know at the beginning you were very skeptical that there could be any kind of psychological linked the way that you spend your money and live your life the original on that that unnoticed which was a question where it was where we're always kind of growing up quick and now I'm older I'm starting to grow younger and then I'd kind of been maturing it with my spending so I'm trying to kind of live the childhood I never lived so maybe that may be true cuz I'm mature sometimes and I do miss about and now obviously that identified that that was why I was doing and I can also go about changing it it's the breakthrough that Benjamin's been waiting for after four long weeks Tommy's finally beginning to see that his frustration at having to grow up too fast might be the emotional trigger to his spending so you happy with what we've done yeah I mean it's good you forced identified things and I've started to change a lot it's it's just changing kind of my attitude to kind of what money is and I mean already I been changing in my spending I'm really pleased that you you engage with that positively because not only will you get out of debt but a thousand other things in your life would be so much better as well mmm yeah it's been it's been good Tommy it's been emotional cheers mate I'm really impressed with the way that Tommy's risen to the challenge I do hope that he does take these lessons forward that there is a chance for him to see in the future the where things are not going perfectly for him or according to his plan maybe there's something that needs to be addressed from the past what we had to say was was true though he he hit gnarly had with we've kind of the relationship that my mom had and me money so he's very useful because it allowed myself my mom to communicate and and tell each other like our feelings that we had and last very short and you need to tell people kind of what you feel before it's too late it's the end of Tommy's financial overhaul and he's back in the lion's den the shopping mall but today he's looking to make money not spend it Tommy's having another of his designer watches valued after successfully selling the most expensive one in his collection on the Internet Jacob watches have been advertised quite a lot on TV so I thought I might just put on internet and see if it would fetch a price when there was a bidding war on it and it eventually sold for just over six thousand pound which is a lot of money for me it's paid off one third of my total debt so I'm out of debt more I'm a big big state debt so you've got a cake I've got a massive chunk of decadence and Tommy's not only slashed his debt he's also boosted his income I've got a job now which is fantastic news someone's employed me and I start in two weeks time really good pace about twenty thousand a year sticking to Jay's budget I've worked out that I can pay my total debt off of in 14 months and it doesn't end there tommy's even applying for a second job I'm just applying for coaching courses in the area I just think that if I can combine and the coaching we have kind of an income of coaching kids in it it'd be very good for very useful officially wise I would never go to make it so this is a kind of next best thing for me definitely say no that I've changed the way I look I look at my finance season and the ways that I go about purchasing items and the choices I make before I actually buy something and I'd say all I've grown up both in my physical spending in my kind of emotional attitude towards spending their money and and and finance season so I do I do believe that you know it sounds cheesy but I am a change management five weeks ago 20-year old Tommy McNally spending was fast and loose with debts of 14 and a half thousand pounds his credit card statements made for unpleasant reading since then lifestyle expert Jay Hunt has provided practical tips to tame his serial shopping while psychological coach Benjamin Frye has helped him work on the emotional roots of his addiction Tommy's made massive progress and as the journey comes to an end Jay and Benjamin have returned for a final catch-up very good although fronts really financially and emotionally do you feel happier you look I feel I feel calmer and kind of more controlled someone needed to show me or someone needed to identify and make me aware of what was I was doing was obviously wrong but it was damaging me I become totally carefree on credit cards and there was an awful process of it which is I want I want I want if you are tempted to do that again what stops you now now it's just a total opposite where I'm totally considering the options and the consequences and I'm it's epic before was with my heart rather my brain now you sort of completely dumb that switch around in your head I think you're absolutely gonna clear this within a year thank you no problem do you think that there's something that went on in the work that we did that helped you to realize who it was he really valued and who really valued you as opposed to what it was he valued I think that's what I've learnt things that are most important to me is it's love and family and friends and you can obviously buy that so what I was indeed doing was just purchasing materialistic things that I believed that make me happy well I think that's a big lesson and once he felt that the the rest of the desire to spend just kind of fall away so at the end of the day 90 minutes on the park do you feel like a sick as a parrot or over the moon I actually feel really happy I feel I feel really kind of content now it's just a focus and a dedication to kind of perform idaite and I think I can do that really successfully I think he'll do well yeah I'm convinced you look a lot happier places I definitely believe that I'm a changed man the main thing of lying on his shows is to live within your means not a function for bla life should be people out there so your life like me you to you you can do it

Channel: Only Human

Views: 131,008

Keywords: only human, only human channel, only human documentary, shopaholics, shopaholics anonymous, shopaholics bbc, shopaholics documentary, shopaholics full episode, shopaholics uk, shopping addiction debt, shopping addiction documentary, shopping addiction full episodes, shopping addiction help, shopping addiction recovery, shopping addiction true life, spendaholics, spendaholics documentary, spendaholics full episodes, spendaholics tv show, spendaholics uk, spendaholics youtube

Id: LEZkF4zjvqk

Length: 55min 53sec (3353 seconds)

Published: Wed Mar 11 2020