Self-Love in 2020!

one second real quick this whole gym right can you hear me I'm gonna make sure y'all gonna hear me let me know if you could hear me wanna pop in okay okay thank you you and nobody else think I'd say yes I want c95 yes okay okay I got you I got you I wanna Sunday I couldn't do the Q&A and I told y'all members of the blessed tribe and I was gonna try to do a Q&A every week I know some of y'all email Lynn sent your question in but you know they get kind of long and I don't know if on the podcast I would read the whole question and then answer it haven't done the podcast that's been focusing on YouTube and so I don't know if y'all want me to read the whole question in a video and answer it so I haven't really gotten to him but for those of you who were sending in questions and I didn't get to you that's why I try to do these I don't know if I will be able to do one on Sunday because I'll be out of town for those of you who are in Atlanta and want to become a life coach I'm doing a training this Saturday in Atlanta for life coach certification so some of you already signed up let me see what this button does chat button so if you have any questions anything that's been pressing on your heart if you didn't get to see my video I posted this earlier today I was running a little late but about becoming love it's another long way I've been trying to keep them short but you're just ain't working mana thank you so much for your question thank you for being a member for the new members Sasha thank you who else if you want to become a member that Cali girl thank you so much Sade Sade Sade if you want to become a member of the blessed tribe the link is in the description of the video and basically it just allows you to be able to post questions when we do the Q&A and it also just you supporting the channel so that I'm able to keep showing up here every day posting videos to the best of my ability Mona said what do you do when you're waiting on god you're speaking his word and keeping the faith but I'm getting kind of weary what can I do to keep the faith you didn't say the faith for what and what is pertaining to being that we talking about relationships maybe you're talking about faithful love but what you have to realize is that it's natural it's very normal and natural for your mind to waver for you to kind of go into a moment but what you have to do is sit down Ervil thank you so much god bless you what you got to do is sit down and write out some some trigger words like some a slogan or statement whatever it may be like everything's gonna be okay or I know it's coming I know people used to say when I was growing up in the church they'll say money's coming money coming money you know and so I'm a money magnet I'm a money magnet so come up with those things faithful my purpose my career I'm a single mom of three kids and I want to provide for them okay in now in your case it's more so than faith this is work Amanda thank you so faith without works is dead so the question is you want something to come of your purpose what have you done towards your purpose like what are you working on what have you taken and invested in yourself I have a course called entrepreneurship with purpose and it's specifically about I could be a course that I created because I was on a job working for somebody else and I went from working for somebody else to working for myself and I took and I put that in a course and so things like that of now it's not just about faith and just sitting there and waiting now it's about doing the work now you got to get up and say let me go to this seminar let me go to this life coaching certification let me add that as a stream of income let me join the life coaching directory so that I could be introduced to clients that I wouldn't have otherwise met let me invest in myself to do something and that's the number one thing for everybody that have a question like that the number one thing that I learned telling you thank you Stacy deed thank you 1891 thank you the number one thing that I learned was self investment I told your story on one of the videos about how I went to a seminar it just popped up and it costs $300 and I went in the negative and then I took in the man sold a course the course was a thousand dollars I went to negative nine hundred and five dollars and I say you know what I got to make something happen and so you have to just you're gonna have to take action I see what you're saying I'm on a master's degree I want to work with sexually abused children because I was sexually abused as a child myself so that's what you do 150 dollars you go on your state business site $150 you start your nonprofit you start your nonprofit next thing you do you take and you write out your program what's the program called healing you go to the local schools you go to the guidance counselor's go to the elf rated schools and say look I got a program for I want to help children who have been sexually abused if anything comes across your desk let me know you go to the boys club the girls club you tell them the same thing you go to the library you tell them the same thing so now they take and they see they're gonna give you a call you get the call they said listen this young lady was sexually abused her father's in prison now the mom wants some help so now you every third Saturday you at the library for free in their room and you meeting with three different youth and y'all doing work y'all working on things you got a plan you got a program next thing you know one day it's attorney he coming into the library and he need to go in the room the print something he go in the room and the librarian tell him Harrison yeah lady in there she's working with you so can't go in there right now he's oh really what are they doing said well it's for sexual abuse victims this young lady she started a program to help those who have been sexually abused he said what really are you serious Wow I need to meet her because I want to help her out next thing you know he come in and he talked to you and he said look I want to give you a check for $10,000 to help you with your program that's what I mean by faith will works and that's what happened for me I just I wanted a change so what I started doing is I just started taking action and I started tweeting every day then I started facebooking every day then I started instagramming every day then I started youtubing and the next thing you know it just built it costs me $0 I just had to show up and talk about my purpose my passion and just serve I had to show up you can start a YouTube channel and make videos and the next thing you know it just happened a blessed tribe all the new members y'all welcome to new members when they come in send them a message you see that name welcome thank y'all so much I was Kiana Felicia Sam thank you I'm boss lady pebbles god bless you Toshiko god bless you now I'm trying to scroll up little fussing oh it's the gamer thank you bless you Lisa bless you Oh somebody said JC hey I'm glad you investing in yourself Toya I am authentic bless you - Keisha god bless you toni has your coaching schedule open back up I know last year un said you were booked through January you know what some people had to move that session out of January into February so some dare opened up you just have to email support at Tony Gaskins calm for a session what happened is I had to raise my rate this year and in 2020 just because you know of the amount of emails I was getting it just was kind of getting overwhelming miss Monica bless you Josie bless you a professor told me this a couple of months ago I enrolled in school hey that's good Sharon I've been dealing with this guy for seven months he said he has love for me and I mean a lot to him he's saying we are going with the flow yes mhm I love him trying my best to walk away so you love her seven months you love him Sharon it's been seven months okay you love you love you love heart you love quick you love fast it's been seven months that's a woman's heart for you it take a man probably two years for he started to love he tell you he's going with the flow now let me ask you this let me tell you this let's say you get in an uber okay let's say you get into Oberer and you own the uber and you look up to the driver and he got a block and he got a blindfold on home you know the little sleep mass you he got that on and he driving you how fast you getting out that car he going with the flow he said got a guy he just got the car cruise control you know Asia bless you he's it going with the flow so you have to think are you gonna jump out that car cuz he's going with the flow let's say to the flow in another way let's say he don't have on the blindfold but let's say traffic going 100 miles an hour and he's going with the flow so he driving 105 miles an hour you don't know this man this woman you know how they drive how many wrecks they got and you in the backseat how fast you're gonna say hey hold on stop what you're doing pull off let me up out of here that's what happened when you dating somebody who going with the flow he gonna flow you right into a pregnancy out of wedlock you're gonna flow you right into a eviction apartment you're gonna flow you right into some some drama with another woman call it your phone he's gonna flow you right into some mess you have to date with intention and it has to be purposeful if the person you're dealing with don't know who they are where they going and what they want you need to flow right on that life you cannot be dealing with somebody who going with the flow Tony I paid money to help me do a business plan but I still don't have one what can I do that's a tough one when you paying people and they ain't doing what they're supposed to do one one of the number one things you could do is is have a consultant when you come to business I'm an entrepreneur I've been an entrepreneur since 27 so anything y'all need business-wise building your brand just email in you even should do one session I'll tell you everything you need to do set you up get you in the right position where you can not waste all these thousands of dollars or hundreds of dollars and be on the streamline because I had to get out here and find it for myself I use a lot of you freelance I use freelancing sites get stuff done for I'm getting the out built right now for $800 gotta ask somebody I'm trying to tell you know and talk to people for the same out they won't 8,000 and all the kind of money I went freelance insight got a guy building an $800 looking good and it might not do everything but at least a bill start for me so the number one thing you could do is talk to somebody who has done what you're trying to do and if this entrepreneurship with purpose I've done that and the link is in the description to Tony Gaskins Academy everything there's one thing about me everything I've learned I put it in a course so if you didn't know that before now you know Tony gases Academy everything I got over fifty streams of income everything I learned I put it in a course to help somebody else morning you can accomplish this read that from Sara's night mama Marilyn thank you bless you Cyrus bless your bowleg turn you thank you I'm looking for another question Aidan when y'all see me stop talking y'all post a question then how do you move on after the 25-year relationship divorce you know is one thing I want you to understand about that they're by their divorce is when it's been 25 years you have to realize that that soul time right there it's gonna last probably for the rest of your life when you've given that much time that much energy that much effort that may last for the rest of your life y'all y'all give me one second real quick let me put this all right I'm back I'm back sorry about that I need to put my phone but my mom and dad was married 2025 years and you know still healing my mom still healing and so you have to realize one thing about love is that trying to love is a gamble and so when you gamble on love you got to be willing to lose your shirt and one of the repercussions of love is that our heart may be damaged we may have a scar for the rest of our life not everything will be completely healable not everything would be able to bounce back completely especially when you gave that much time so you got to understand that and then you know you have to stay in prayer you got to be working on yourself getting new knowledge you got to create a schedule coach Rob bless you I want to keep a lot of God you never cut your videos short on John hey Thank You coach appreciate that so do everything you would do for a 1-year relationship a five-year relationship and then just keep going keep building on it the good thing about it is is you actually experience love and its fullness I mean the relationship not loving its fullness but you experience a full relationship so you could walk away knowing that you did everything you can do y'all hold on let me try to get back up here to the question also later I miss your question know about the your favorite rapper about the Dream Chaser all the other things is in course for Erica thank you so much bless you thank you to all the new members do it ven in Dallas I don't know about that I really don't know if I'm due any events this year I'm kind of trying to see I'm doing life coach certification you know because we just we launched in the directory for coaches to help coaches get clients so I won't be training coaches but I don't know how many love events Oh in the for those you near Orlando Florida it's a self love event that I'm speaking at it's not my event I'm speaking at it February 23rd I put the link in the description of this video sorry negative coworkers filled with drama and I'm trying to become loved what do I do I've just started distancing myself from the co-worker and being strictly business as usual am I wrong no you're doing absolutely right you're doing out absolutely right talking about self love I'm in the process of trying to improve that after having a breakup with my child's father now when you all go through when you go through a breakup what you gotta realize is that you're going to have to in any form of self love and trying to heal you're gonna have to create a day schedule and you're gonna have to give your life direction so you're gonna have to literally create a schedule that you read in your Bible or something from 5:00 a.m. to 6:00 a.m. that you working out from 4:30 to 5:00 even it's just walking around the neighborhood that you reading that night from 9:30 to 10:00 or you're doing something like this that you watch a video on your lunch break or listen to a podcast you got to create a growth schedule and make sure that you're putting the things that's gonna add to your life and move your life forward on your schedule so write it out every single day and look at it and read it until it gets in your spirit because what happened is it's never lack of time only a lack of direction in the words of Zig Ziglar so what we do wrong is we say oh I want to heal oh I want to heal but we still listening to hurt people music we still watching drama for shows that is not helping us move forward we still on the phone gossiping we've not doing any more work we we don't have a workout routine we don't have a sleep routine we don't have a meditation or focus routine and so you saying when am I gonna heal when am I gonna get better when am I gonna feel better but you don't have a plan for it you don't have something that's put in place because you've got to give your day structure you got to give your days order and if you do that and you do things in order what's gonna happen is if you say I'm gonna work out 30 minutes a day even if it's doing squats in my house if you say I'm gonna do I'm gonna walk around the neighborhood for 30 minutes a day guess what a it's gonna start to get firm the weight gonna start to shed yeah confidence gonna start to go up when you say I'm gonna read for an hour a day even if it's 20 minutes 20 minutes 20 minutes or if it's 30 and 30 or if this one straight hour your confidence is gonna go up your vocabulary are gonna go up your your conversation is going to elevate all of this stuff is going to change because you've given yourself direction and you feeding yourself and it's on your checklist so that every day you look and did I read did I workout did I pray that I talked to loved ones did I talk to friends did I do this did I do that so when you go through there guess what it's gonna every single day I guarantee you you won't feel the way you feel on day seven you won't feel that way on day 70 hey I miss some of y'all questions as y'all it was posted while I was talking caramel kisses and gave up my cache yeah look look at God bless you I'd be praying over them over them donate somebody did they sent me $20 I so wish I could remember your name but a bless you I saw that I was on a phone call heard that cash I'll say three and I say Lord bless this woman the Blessed hope oh I own her why she did it but it means something to me you ever heard y'all hear the saying the thought that counts Stacia bless you please read my email I sure will be looking for station I'm trying peace I'm really trying to piece this inner anger that I believe stands for my child I'm not sure people go like the video 580 and only 14 likes a she say hit the like button on the video Tony can you recap on the spirits our bodies connect with when we have sex outside of marriage Lata you Joe see the link for Lando is in the description of this Tonya I probably I'm not sure what you mean by recap because I think that video was an hour long so I don't know what kind of recap you want on top of that hour you might need to watch that video about three times though but essentially what I want you to understand is that any person you like down with you getting up with a piece of them so if they got a demon in them you getting up with a piece of that demon in you what I mean by that it they better if they nasty if they rule any of that you you take that on in your spirit in your body you'd be like who you be around that's what my mom and dad always tell me you'll be like who you be around and so when you lie down with them you connect them bodies you connect the spirits not just body so it's not just against God it's against your own body and you literally taking that on and what's happening is is that spirit that children just connected with just that energy just that aura just that feeling it could be rejected in the pure spirits because you start the state because you start to look like and feel like the people that you like down with and so it can be rejecting a pure spirit it's certain people that I'm that they stay so far away from me I've never done anything to him never said anything bad about it but they just won't talk to me and they just dissed it they just kind of and that's when I understand the spiritual energies because my spirit is pure if a person spirit is evil or crooked or vindictive or whatever my spirit make them feel weird yeah I'll tell you all the story about these spirits it was a man one time I was shooting a documentary and it was a young man I was shooting this on love and I met this young man and he was you know he was a celebrity and he had been on television and had major you know hits you know hit music and things like that and I met him and he he shook my hand and he said man listen I've been around the top stars in the world and I've never been nervous I've never been nervous in front of somebody as I'm as nervous as I am in front of you probably three four five years later come out he was beating and choking his girlfriend the mother of his child beating on a dog and I disrespecting her and when I saw that I said wow that's why his spirit felt the way it felt when we met because of where my spirit was versus where his spirit was it was like in the Bible when you know when Jesus show up and he cast them demons out or somebody to pray and them spirits taking millington spirits came out the man and went into the pigs and ran the pigs off the side of the cliff that's how it is with them Spears so imagine if that's how it is with spirits and you like down with somebody with that spirit and so that right there way to get real okay bowlegs I see you trying to deal with the inner anger hey you don't know it don't be afraid of therapy and if you do therapy and you do three to four sessions and you're not feeling it then go to coaching and try coaching but really to be honest with you inside of every problem hear me when I tell you this inside of every problem there are seeds to the so what I mean by this is when you fill in a certain problem and you go and you talk about it when you start to talk about it you will start to uncover you'll start to uncover the answers a lot of times I'm on the phone with I'm on the phone with my clients and I'm just listening I may ask one question and my client may talk 45 minutes and I'm just listening and in that 45 minutes he or she answers all their questions and I just confirmed I just confirm and I may just share something in addition that they can think about and just being a guy and so lord somebody new to the channel why pain what do you think about tarot reading for one I don't know what Tarot is but and I think you talking about a car I think you talking about a car then it's curved like a proton sometime have to be googling from yo why don't know what a tarot is but I think I heard about a tarot and I think it's a car reading ok karmic it says which crown that right there somebody says pertaining to astrology listen to me I'm gonna tell you right this right here me myself personally shyam bless you I don't believe in any kind of readings any kind of predictions any kind of anything because the people that's doing it they're challenging spirits the good will tell you stay away from them astrologist stay away from them psychic stay away from all that because they trying to play God and God don't tell you what your future is he tell you where your faith need to be and then he'll give you the desires of your heart so when you're going you getting all these readings all these horoscopes and everything I tell people about that people ask me what is your sign the sign of God a child of God that's what my sign is because my sign probably lying on me so don't judge me by what a man or a woman - sat down and wrote based on these stars because I'm a child of God and I'm who he says I am so you know I don't care if it's a I'm angry I don't care if it's a I'm bit I don't care if it's a I'm jealous I don't care what that sign say based on what that man or one roll I'm Renu I'm healthy I'm hold I'm heal I'm blessing I'm highly favored so I don't read none of that stuff don't let nobody tell me cuz see what happened the way the mind works is when you go to reading them horoscopes and you go to getting a tarot read and you go to talk that psychic anything that your mind hears anything that your mind hears if your subconscious hears that and you don't reject it your mind will move towards it because your subconscious cannot decipher between fact or fiction so when you read something you internalize that and you could read a horoscope or get a tear or talk to whoever you could talk to somebody let's say you know something bad gonna happen to you this month and nothing was gonna happen to you but because you heard that you hitting on brakes too early you hitting on brakes too late you going through the light too fast you're going too slow next thing you know somebody then t-bones you somebody then hit you in the back you get in 3 for X because your mind said something bad is going to happen and so that's why I won't deal with none of that I say who does God say I am who does what does God say I'm capable of and that's all I'm trying to heal nothing else Britany should I care about what my new boyfriend post on Facebook yes because what a person posts on Facebook that also represents who they are you can see where a person mind is that based on what they post and let me touch on this oh let me get the Cheyenne so yes that Facebook matter but let me get Cheyenne questions I'm sorry about that Cheyenne thank you for the blessing i'ma tell you something bout that social media y'all remind about that social media I'm open this here document some of this stuff I need to remind myself uh but this social media it means a lot I'm gonna write it down but I'm gonna get the Cheyenne first my son compares himself to others and cries and breaks down when he feels things aren't fair to him how do I help him centered and secure what you have to do is you got to speak life into your son I y'all go take on crazy y'all go think I'm crazy but I got a course on Toni guys in Academy car I hate to tell y'all that any question you want to ask me I really got a course on Toni guys in academy.com but I got a course talking about raising young boys let me tell you something bout my son my son heat well you going on 13 when I tell you that boy don't care about nothing nobody say he don't care about having friends he don't care about hanging out if he cool with you he cool with you but if you want to go do this you want to go do that and you want a corfu he said all right I'm hot let you just like that I hear him tell his friend stuff I see him show it to him he ain't trying to Hank nah my son got every kind of shoe you could have my son got a gold necklace like me got a diamond pendant on now my son got $2,500 on his neck here in the seventh grade hey call it what you call it here young king so I dressed me like a king he got the yeezus he got everything he got Dolce and Gabbana shoes he got um he got the Apple watch he got the iPhone but you know what he also got he got straight A's with no a minuses he got straight A's with no a minuses he the only one that looked like him to do that and he really one of about five or six kids and his grade so I don't just spoil him I don't just give him this stuff he earned him he got straight A's with no 8 - his lowest grade on his first report card ain't gave him a second yet was a 97 he was out of 70 plus kids in his grade he was one of five or six to have straight A's no a minuses but let me tell you what me and my wife do we speak life into him every day we speak life into him when I'm driving my son to practice and we keep him busy so my son did chess club he did karate did basketball he did football he plays soccer tribal soccer we took him you know we keep him busy we invest that money sending accounting to the negative do what we got to do to expose he did a Robotics Club he did Cody learning how to coal we invest in him and we speak life and so on when we're driving to practice I'm talking to him about when I was in the streets hustling I'm talking to him about the mistakes I made with women I'm talking to him and I'm giving him wisdom see the more the best parent is transparent the best parents are transparent when you teach your kid from your mistakes they learn and what it does is it build confidence so I talk to my son so much he knew everything about laying down with a woman at the age of nine and the reason why was because I didn't know what day the Lord was gonna call me home thank you that the Lord has spared me but I wanted my son from the age of understanding I wanted him to have the truth where a lot of parents don't really talk to their kids about real stuff and real feelings and what you're going through your thoughts and your fears your hopes your dreams your desires but that's how you develop your child that's how you develop their mind so and everything he do and I literally tell him when he wrong I tell him we own we own but then when he right I tell him hey son but hey God gonna use you God gonna do a mighty work with you son hey stay stay on that path that you own son trust me listen to what I'm telling you and I talked to him and I speak life into him and I ain't gassing him up I'm telling him the truth and I and I make him do what he has to do my wife she making him do what he has to do to stay on it so if he got to do homework for two hours after practicing for two hours that's what he got to do he don't get to play video games during the week he played on Friday night Saturday night you mean and so a lot of times people we don't we're not feeding our kid we're not speaking into their life and we just expect them to know how to handle the ways of the world but when you build a month when you speak life not baby them but when you challenge them you hold them accountable and all of those things it's gonna be a confidence it's gonna build confidence no I'm saying we talking about relationship we went talking about the children I don't get me talk about in Chariton I what's the next step I made a change in my hairstyle is you suggesting a man now seem drawn to me Felicia you probably gonna need a sign up for coaching cuz one you got no picture so I can't see you but for to just be comfortable be comfortable be and not a man drawn to you so now what you need to do is learn everything you can about men about dating about relationships about real love and all of that do you think as women we should date to help with the healing process no because as women you actually so smart as women you you act women you very smart me and I'm smart too but women you're very smart you're very capable learning and growing so what you need to do as a woman is if you shut all dating down and you just focus on self development and growth meaning you reading the books you going to the seminars you watching the videos you you writing your own affirmations you writing your own book you're investing in yourself if you shut all dating down shut everything to do with a relationship down and you just invest in you and focus on you you're gonna cut that healing time in half you instead of taking a year it's gonna be six months instead of taking five years cuz I coach a lot of people I coach a lot of now what I'm starting doing asking any questions that come in right when I'm getting ready to stop talking so cuz I'm doing this scroll that thing stressing me out so copy and paste a question when you see I'm slowing down on the question so when you start the feed your mind and feed your heart you're gonna start to get confidence and it's gonna build you and then what's gonna happen is you're gonna learn everything you need to line and then you're gonna be attracting love and then you ready but if you go into a relationship and you still hurting you're gonna mess up you're gonna mess up because you're going to miss some red flags you're gonna let you're gonna either kick a man to the curb too soon because of your pain or because of your pain it may turn into desperation and you're gonna let some things get by you that you otherwise would not have let get by you I said man I might do thirty minutes that's how I read a thirty five minutes on high in the rural the time we're all the time to be doing toy you Tony you can you talk about chasing versus pursuing when it comes to showing interest in getting to know someone now Toria you a woman I don't know if you talking about you chasing or if you tell my the man chasing you now it's really for a man it's really not a difference the pursuit should feel like a chase so let me tell you on for the ladies for a man when a man is interested in you it's going it's gonna feel like a lion on the chase in the jungle chasing a gazelle or posturing and getting ready for a a lioness that's what it's gonna feel like dear Lawrence bless you and so what you have to understand is that this man he's going to be calling you every day he's gonna call you every day he gonna want to talk to you as many times and as often as he can a man that he is taking a man that he's taking it he you know skipping time you hearing from him every few days then that's not that's not real that that's not real even every other day that's not real now let me tell you all this has a woman and this is not an exact science but I want you to understand this as a woman your pursuit should be in reciprocation so this what I mean if the man calls you on Monday Tuesday and Wednesday he initiated contact on Thursday you need to say hey how are you before he writes you now if he beats you first thing in the morning he didn't wrote to you okay you can't beat him but try to beat him on Friday if you never can write him before he writes you then that's a good sign but if you see that he hasn't written you yet but he's written you everyday or reached out to you or called you every day Monday Tuesday Wednesday I called it the three-to-one ratio 3 from the man reaching out to you and one from you and all what this does is it keeps your keeps you in the position of the woman who is in the position of you accepting him and you having to choose him him happen to pursue you him happen to court you and being him having to get on one knee you saying yes or him actually gonna be his woman his girlfriend you saying yes it keeps you in that position when he's coming to you and then you reciprocate but see if a man is just chasing you chasing you chasing you chasing you and you never initiate contact to him he's gonna feel like you're not interested you're gonna feel like he's wasting his time if you're just there when he reaches out to you so that's where you have to give some reciprocation so that he knows my ex Golda Church buying a new outfit every Sunday oh the good thing is that so ex that's a good thing praise be that's her ex let him do what he's doing you're not fishing Cristina bless you some guys will lead you won't be hurt prepared to have a brother who was going through a lot he is on a hard time and living with me I don't be he's how much a blood brother how can I help him to become a better man change his ways without coming off as evil sis okay there's a real brother he's over 30 that's gonna be a heart that is gonna be a hard one cuz it's hard to help somebody who don't want to help they sell it's hard to help somebody who don't want to help they sell so you're gonna sit down with him you want to talk to him my dad used to always say growing up he's saying the time of peace prepare for war so when you when it's cool when you chilling you say to him so bro I want to talk to you bro hey so so what you want to do if you could do anything what your what would your dream be and then you hear that you hear what he says and then you ask him a question on top of a question and another question another question you get his heart open you get them going a lot of times when a man in that position is either dealing with something mental mental health issue was dealing with drug use or dealing with something you know social to where you just had some insecurities he want to look a certain way be a certain way and you spin all his money you know trying to please other people or you're going through something mental and I got family like that cuz it's like that friends like that and each one of them is something different some of them is childhood trauma some of them is drug use and it's secret drug use only a lot of people don't even really know and so you gotta talk to them and then as you talk to them then you try to provide resources you try to provide resources and you try to you may go and get his email and buy entrepreneurship with purpose say hey bro I got to this course let's go through it together and in every Saturday or every Sunday y'all sit down and y'all watch the first video and then you talk about it so you helping him actively and you doing the work with him I heard a quote that says inspect what you expect meaning that if you were expecting it you got to inspect it you if you expected something to happen you expecting him to grow you got to be right there watching governing it making sure he doing the work not you taking you do that you you taking you by course so you buy a book I got a book called a dreamchaser it's on audiobook it says my it's my whole story of how I went from nothing to something and it's on audio and in hardback and ebook if you taken you invest in him and he won't do the work that's when you know hey bro you know I'm you know my relationship even if you ain't got now my relationship we're gonna have to make some changes because you know how there's being a man you know don't want another man in the home so you know I'm gonna try to give you about three more months or six more months and we're gonna have to make a move brother I don't have nothing against you but we're gonna have to make a move and just like that but you cannot do for somebody what they aren't willing to do for themselves ragazza god bless you thank you for that no members a welcome new members y'all welcome to new members you see their name just in case I've missed it he texts me and I acted cold because I was upset he then went silent for three days I text him on the fourth day asking for my stuff what are your thoughts I tell you this when you play mind games everybody loses so if it was a true feeling and that's how you really really felt then okay but if you text him if he texts you and you don't text back and then he goes silent three days I mean what you expect he knows we're gonna keep chasing it if you don't want to talk but if you did that you could have responded but you wanted to play hard you want to play you want to play a mind game then you can't really be confused or concerned if you hit somebody and they hit you back harder and so when you text me ask for your stuff next thing you need to do is get you your stuff and if he doesn't give you your stuff then you need to leave your stuff and just count it cuts count your losses and keep it moving but if you keep begging him about that stuff then what's gonna happen is you're giving him power and y'all be having our own little conversations which are stuff I'd be missing it but thank y'all for coaching each other to recently left my daughter's father because we were going on five years of a relationship and he finally said he is not ready for marriage how do I deal with him not putting up a fight to get me back how you deal with him it's time to go it's time to leave no hey at this point right here it's time to leave you know it ain't it's nothing about dealing with them now it's now it now I hate to say this but you heard it growing up I mean you make you bet you got to lay in it so what you have to realize is you got to get the lesson the lesson else stay off your back the lesson you'll stay off your back don't sleep with another man until you got a ring that's your lesson the blessing is your child so you have to get the lesson let him go because you were sleeping with somebody else husband and not you got to focus on your child you do everything for your child you know now it's about your child and the only conversation you have with him is about your child you do not want a man that does not want you you do not want a man that does not want you if you didn't been with a man five years and he don't want to marry you that is not your man that is somebody else husband so you got to let him go and you got to keep going now what is going to happen is if he don't meet somebody else he don't find better then he gonna want to come back but he does not want you he coming back because it just st. nothing else out there so he coming to settle for you and he gonna be cheating on you he gonna be dog yeah and all of that so when a man tell you after five years it's different if a man said it out for three months he don't really know he lookin fused it would be different but even then I would say keep it moving but when he didn't had five years with you even saw your dirty drawers even smell chilled morning breath he didn't you know mess around and pass gas while you were sleep he didn't seen everything of you and when he tells you I don't want you at the five years he mean that so what you got to do put them track shoes on and get the gone and just say you know what I made the mistake of sleeping with a man giving him husband benefits before he was my husband and you got to keep it going regardless bless you bless you I guess I've never had a guy hit me back emotionally they all usually chase he did give me my stuff back so you got your stuff back now you got to keep going now you got to keep going cuz you met your match and see the thing about it is you could never be with somebody that y'all just having power struggles never be with somebody you just gonna have power struggles I remember I was I was a little boy and my cousin said to me we probably was 10 or 11 and my cuz I said he said relationship ain't 50/50 is 5149 oh no who told that boy that though we were probably 10 years old we probably heard your daddy saying he probably heard his mommy and daddy arguing he said a relationship is 5149 cuz somebody don't have to submit and somebody gonna have to go to extra I never forgot that we literally was 10 years old so what I'm saying you is if you with somebody in y'all jet 50/50 now just blending heads it ain't gonna work cuz you think you too cute he think he too cute so both y'all think your stuff don't stink and you just gonna be going to each other in a power struggle so what he's showing you is that you didn't met your match you need to look do boy that's gonna that's gonna go ahead and swallow his prize while his ego and love you the way you need to be loved but I ain't that man that's what he that's what he's showing you I'm 37 I met a guy on line seven years younger okay he 30 and he on line first date was last Sunday he texts he's texted daily he called briefly yesterday said he was going to call later but didn't he text today said I'll drop a salute I dropped my phone reading it I dropped the phone reading it I just pulled a hamstring reading then I was running for you let me tell you get on about it up 30 years old here online that's a catfish and Manning serious but no law miss McGee thank you bless you so much he's not serious but no love listen ladies y'all need not date younger men you really need to be with a man your age or a man that's 3 to 5 years older than you because women mature faster than than men so you 37 and this boy 30 you're gonna be raising her and you better be changing his diapers you keep dealing with that man and the reason why I 30 year old get online today is he looking for somebody he can ruin do he looking for somebody that he can put on his roster sleep with you when he want to sleep with you but really what he wants you for is to get money for you he want to get money from you to spend it on the women that he won't that's that's why he got you that's why he got online that's why I'm and get online I try to tell y'all this but y'all do not want to listen y'all do not want to listen when I tell you understand I listen to me listen to me now listen to me now I have never been wrong when I'm talking about a man I just I've never had somebody a woman come back to me and say Tony you was absolutely 100% wrong about what you said about that man because I played all the games hear me when I tell you I don't care if your cousin met her man online I don't care if your auntie your grandma your mama I'll care if you marry and you met your man online you don't know what you got waited about year 10 he might wait to your 15 to chop you up a real man who is ready to love does not do online dating yet I'm telling you I know max calm and eat harm and all didn't probably be running ads on my videos a man who is ready does not date online that is a man who is insecure or he is shy or he is catfishing or he is looking to come up he running a scam it is too many women to be online dating it is to men and women you could go anywhere you want to go to meet a woman I could go outside in this neighborhood if I was a single man at 9:52 p.m. and go on a walk and meet a woman in a gated 24 hours security neighborhood you didn't mean it is to men and women if you meet a man on our own line dating you do not know what you get you might as well go bust your pinata open you might as well go trick-or-treating with a blindfold every day out of you cuz that's what you finna get you might as well go spend cash out your 401k and play it on the lotto and lose the whole 401k if you dating a man online I'm serious about that now I'm not gonna tell y'all the life now sometimes the prescription is get online to date just to see the crazy and it's like that just a lot not to meet up with nobody not to sit down with nobody but just to do the messages get you a little bat phone with a side number of Google Voice number a little bat phone that way look tracfone something that you could throw away you know just to see the games out there just to laugh at the man just to see him shoot his shot just to see him ask you for five hundred dollars and he only been knowing you three weeks just to get the game that's the only time you do that it's just for practice to see how foolish some people could be out here but you don't get online-dating looking for nothing real I'm trying to tell you please hit on this night y'all on him y'all don't want to hear me okay hey CJ hey CJ no is CJ oh you told my dear brother CJ in the group not in the Blessed tribe CJ my brothers are made it in I'm looking for another question so just the right time to copy and paste your question cuz I trying to scroll up to month I know it ain't know it I see your paint on mothers being involved my ex is mom and I are very close says her son knows he wants to marry me but he's not ready to be back in a relationship because he doesn't want to mess up again let me tell you this that's where you have messed up that right there being close with your ex mama because let me tell you it is mama that mama will steal yo lack that mama would steal your last sip of water in a hot desert biggie it to her son if the three of y'all was in that moment kill you to put you on a fire defeat her son you hit me you cannot trust a man mama cuz a man mama would tell you anything he want her to tell you she do unless he didn't been on drugs and the stole all her in sure and sold it in the streets you know my cousins and stuff they used to steal my grandma in shirt and sell it in the streets they used to steal her dresses the old school dress that he was still out the closet sell it in the streets to people who need a dress unless he didn't did something like that to his mama that's the only way typically that woman gonna taking not take up for her son but it haven't seen a mama would do anything for this on so what the mama role is in this is to keep you stuck them on my line and you twice on Sunday their mama lining to you your son her son I don't bit more want you than the man on the moon you mean I'm telling you now you better listen to me that man does not want you you didn't mean so you need to pack your stuff and you need to leave and what you need to tell his mama is you need to tell his mama mama listen to me Z say how long you been on hell I've been in 54 minutes I'm getting ready to go I got to go out of town tomorrow being around on Friday and Saturday doing a life coach training on Saturday the link is on my website on the events page what you need to tell you his mama about to say your mama you need to tell her that mama you know I love you I care for you but what I'm gonna have to do is I might have to create some distance and I have to create some distance because I need to heal and when I talk to you I think about him and I cannot heal my heart and move forward it's nothing against you but I'm not gonna be able to answer the calls I'm not gonna be able to talk to you because I need to heal then once I heal I circle back and you got to tell him guess what that mom ain't gonna bit more kill his mom hang on bit more care then the man on the moon either because what's gonna happen and that's what you need to tell it like Marilyn said tell her you got a new man say tell her because I met somebody he's a prince charming you ain't got lots of if you don't want to enough you could just tell you working on you and let that be it but if you ain't got the strength to say that then you could put it on cows but her ghost your new man you could say I'd met a man and he's just not comfortable with me talking to you knowing because he thinking I'm probably calling your phone to talk to your son you know and they ask forgiveness for a lot roof thank you bless you and forgive me for that light night but you got to get that distance and you got to stop answering them cause now somebody told me to ask me answer more question but I don't see you're gonna welcome on that mano post your question that you own here morning no no I'm on an already ask 50 question Mia morning had a one-on-one session on hit night my ex called off our wedding 50 days before it got another woman pregnant she's 23 and he's 46 kids by five women he's homeless single wants me back more than nine you wasting there by the time and I'm gonna come on now come on now come on I'm on you need to get you a session because you come on you entertained over 4000 homeless man who called off your wedding you morning don't eat morning from this day forward don't even tight to her ex anymore don't type the word don't mention him don't ask by him don't think about him don't do nothing other than when he get on his feet he want to see his kids with a man like that you got to run you got the wrong you could right keeps a cold next best-selling song with that right now what you just said you could write a hit sitcom with that right now what you just said come on you got leading man pretty well Tony I'll drop the boy that I told you about who smokes and his breath smells horrible afterwards I feel so bad because I just became distant instead of telling him how I feel how do I tell him you got to tell them you got to tell if you don't have to tell them you know nobody explanation but just for the sake of you reap what you sow so what you just did to him the universe may pay that back to you so you might meet a man that you like and you trying to build and then he taking just goes you so what you could do is just sit and tell them saying this you know I I really carefully I like you as a person but what you smoking I just can't do it that's just one of my foundational beliefs it goes against you know just what I really feel and I can't do it because if we would have children together or if y'all got kids it just it's secondhand smoke to the elements in your it's in your pores and I just can't do it and so what happens is I'll see when people are doing things that are immoral when people are doing things that are that's cutting their life short like smoking that can lead to cancer that could lead to long counts all this stuff when people doing this type of stuff then they need to lose stuff in life to learn what that drug or what that addiction is costing them so if you don't tell him that that's why he's losing you then he will even smoke more thinking that is something else he will a man will start thinking that it's the size of his third leg that he couldn't please you he'll think that it's your ex-boyfriend popped back up he would have no clue he would never assume that is you slinking ashtray mouth from smoking that weed or whatever he's smoking and so when you tell him that he like a man it cost me a relationship like is it really worth it like why did I even start smoking to begin with oh because I was lame and I was trying to be cool I wanted to be like my big brother I want to be like the boys in the street I want to be like my teammate that why I started smoking hey you want a smoke I thought smoking was nasty really first the first time he's gonna start talking to himself any gonna say you know what man let me put inside gonna put that thing I didn't he's gonna start to change his life he didn't know if he can't get you back he'll change his life and move on as a better man and so that's what that's the role we have to play in people life when we let people go you gotta let him know sasha is royal Tony what do you think about a man about to be divorced with a baby mama that he dated eight years during the marriage let me read this again Tony what do you think about a man about to be divorced with a baby mama that he dated eight years during the marriage I was hoping that didn't say what I thought it said but it sounded like you saying the man was married and he got a baby mama and I don't know if you the wife or view the baby mama are you asking for a friend but it sounded like the man was married and he got he cheated on his wife with a woman and got him pregnant what do you think about that man that you need to run you need to run okay so I see 48 years old you need to run you need to run cuz when a man like that for one he got serial killer in him for one he got scam artists in them he got abuser you know that man is still the flowers out somebody casket that's the man right there you got to get on out of there and he's just going through a divorce I don't mean gonna treat the baby mama right gonna dog out because he been dogging out both on eight years the guy at work that I have caught him staring at me he finally made sure he had my attention not look like y'all need to add a picture on here no I don't like talking to Casper the ghost so y'all need to add update child profile now log and they'll put your little picture on no because he got the whole name on that knife Alicia mighty well put your pics on now a guy at work that I have caught him staring at me he finally made sure he had my attention to say hi he followed me when he could get my full attention he looked me in the eye and said hi so he getting ready he getting ready now y'all I'm gonna take one more question why do you how do you respond when a man tests you sexually in the first week or two is this a red flag or do you give them another chance I had a guy to me I heard about red girls y'all some freaks he's thirty huh so I guess he's saying you read to be honest with you you can't really take a man serious when you try you a lot of men are taught to try woman in the first two weeks to see if she would give it up because a lot of men that's hottie this highly judge you I remember me now he came from nothing come from where I come from and he became a media now he came back home and I remember he told me he said man if you ever deal with a woman and she sleep with you in the first two weeks Ryan don't don't deal with her because she such a such he said man my wife it took me six months before she slept with me he said that's that's the kind of woman you want that's just how me and that's the game he passed down that's what he had been told that just hug me and think so a lot of man I called it a full-court press and the thing about it is is women they called it unfair they say it's unfair women always that's unfair because what if I wanted as a woman and then he coming on to me so I'm thinking he wanted it and I want it so I give in but now I give in and now he judged me for doing the same thing he was doing but what you have to realize is it's not gonna make sense because there's no rules there's no ain't nobody playing by the rule book out here so you got to have your own set of rules you got to have your own morals your own values because what you it just like an undercover cop undercover cop will come up to you and will sell you some drugs and you buy them drugs and then they arrest you or they'll come up to you and ask you for some drugs you sell them the drugs and you get arrested the reason why this you doing the illegal activity you know even if I trick you into it it's illegal activity that you just did so does that's the same thing happened as a man is an undercover and he coming to try you he want to try to sleep with you and if he if you show him that you don't have your set of morals he even though he doing the same thing he'll judge you for and and move on and didn't a woman that don't lay down with him he give her credit honest opinion Tony do God's pass up women because they are 40 I'm 40 but I still believe my husband will find me but sometimes I wonder how they feel about age no God don't care nothing about age god I don't care nothing about age is yet really come down how you taking care of yourself so if you take care of yourself and you keep taking care of yourself then it's gonna be fine Jay love Tony during dating how can I find out what a man believes regarding this topic without revealing that I'm abstinent in case he tries to run game you don't have to tell them that you're abstinent for one cuz you don't know if you ask me because you don't know what Margo hole so you got to say that to him you got to tell them so that's right but then too you don't have to try to do anything special therefore man won't sleep which he gonna try you so you gonna know if he's abstinent based on whether he tries you and most men gonna try you within the first 90 days but a lot of times it's gonna come in that first 30 best if he talking to you every day it's gonna come in that first 30 so you gonna see and then you don't just have to say I'm abstinent you ain't got to tell him of your whole game plan you could just turn him down and after you turn him down a few times then he realizes okay she ain't coming off this thing so I'm about to do more and so he continues to fall in love he continued to build and he realized okay imma have to make her my woman he makes you his woman you still turn him down he so cam how to make her my fiancee you make his fiancee you still turn them down cam how to make her my wife next thing you know you married and really what it says to him is that this woman did not feel comfortable with me until I gave her a complete all in complete commitment and now that I've given her this commitment now she's giving me her and so that's what's gonna happen they love ya he gonna keep pursuing you a man cuz when you when you turn a man now he don't believe you he gonna keep pursuing you now he might try 10 15 20 times gonna keep pursuing you because now he mold now now he think that you just trying to play for some brownie points he thinking that you trying to be classy you trying to fake like you clash I've been one of the NBA player said that to me said man is your fault I hit a women I hit trying to pretend like they like they don't sleep around when I know dude up the block just slept with and then I come talk to her and because she want to be my wife because she said I got a bag on my name nah not she want to pretend like she hold it in now and she won't sleep with nobody but I know my boy just slept with him and I was like man so that's what they believe they believe that you just playing a game they believe that you just online you listening relationship coaches this a new trend so you just kind of fronting trying to play the game trying to look like you special trying to get some brownie points like a classy woman but if you try hard enough you're gonna be on your back and when you end up on your back that's when he lose respect for you if he didn't have to wait longer than he's ever had to wait now if he had to wait long he's ever had to wait a man may still respect you if you make if you ragazza nah don't be trying to do no chargebacks only your charge this night you could have you could become a member now or you might be able member and maybe I miss your question but god bless you now god bless you for the support and the law but don't be calling American Express how might that's a fraudulent charge when we got all the pictures of each question huh if you make a man you are dating wait while he sleep with another girl while waiting on you yes he may he may very he may very well sleep with another woman while waiting on you but that's not what you need to worry about what you need to worry about is if he sleep with another one you gonna find out and then you out of there and that's not the man for you but the man that is for you he's not going to sleep with another woman the man that's not for you he'll sleep with another woman but the man is for you he's gonna wait and he gonna be extremely extremely attracted to you because you now be calm the 1% and that's what a lot of people don't understand and that's why I use when I was playing the game see I used to play the game and the reason how I used to you know stand out and how I used to get them is I would I didn't drink I didn't smoke I didn't curse and I see why you just say I miss yours ki8 if you were to put that question right then still the same I miss yours I would have seen your question so by not drinking that put me into a certain class by not smoking that put me into a certain class by not drinking smoking or cursing that made me such a rare man because every woman almost every man that they knew at least curse even if he ain't drink or smoke and so that's what happened in the relationships is every woman is getting on their back every woman is doing the same thing every woman looking the same everybody got lashes falling off looking like a rake and the cheat glue coming down slide down every woman you starting to see lace front you're starting to see stuff everybody got you know makeup on everybody looking the same dressing the same got in fashion over you know ear so when you do something that others are not doing that man say whoa okay who is you and that's when he know who you are that's because that's when he recognizes young write down a now when my phone died I got to go he just told me I got 20% I feel bad man I'd be saying I'm gonna be on here I was in this thing you know I be on him but you know there's one thing about serving I leave people hanging and then somebody said I miss her question or his question I couldn't know I didn't get to see it blessed be Tony you need to have a meet and greet for your members only crew you hit me hey I wish I could but you know what y'all so spread out so I could do a meet and greet some of y'all need to come to Orlando if you're in Orlando but I could do a set up a meet and greet and it's just one of y'all in there me and that person in there because everybody's so spread out but when they get when we get enough you know members of the Blessed try doing that that let me know that any major city I product how 1015 people and we could have us rent a little room and how about a little talk I was a little fool have a little discussion 10-15 of us that's one thing I make do in these little small rooms that whole you know twenty to fifty people start doing like go on once we get to a certain point right now I understand numbers because I've been online you know since 2009 building the following and so I understand that you can have a hundred thousand people online that's following you and you think you want to do you a seminar you go in that room and you got thirty people in now and then it cost you $5,000 and them tickets then made you one hundred and fifty dollars so I understand them numbers they got to be a certain point and I had somebody question now see polar opposites if you were to post your question right now I would have seen it I have a question so yeah I caught Adelina how can I get over that anger I have for my ex I still have nightmares after two years you're gonna have to you're gonna have to get some coaching you're gonna have to get some coaching now let me ask you do you read a book every day do you read from a book every day do you pray every day do you work out every day do you have a coaching session every every week every two weeks what's the last course you've taken what's the last seminar you've gone to mm-hmm so when you think about that jaesi law we got 40 new members on the night it's good praise the Lord and we get to a certain know when we get enough members then I can start doing the mean grease but right now you know I hope y'all just talking my just to meet each other even if y'all just all sisters because only men I think we got in the group is maybe coach rod CJ and you listen you listen probably did a chargeback on me cuz I ain't been seeing Ulysses in the chat so you listen probably did a charge but I think I saw that total of cuz they're sleek they'll show you like oh you got $50 you know and they take a percentage I don't know if they take thirty forty or fifty percent you two and and then yours you'll see that okay got it at all and you go back in there another day 29 so somebody doing charge bikes I wonder if you listen to did charge bikes home because he was only a big spinning and he was big spinning forearm can't remember her name but she had she be coming don't know if that Bianca Britney somebody was shouting up god bless you Tony no refund uncharged from me the Holy Spirit flow through you a bless you bless you got him see you ask a question the nice list you just supporting goodnight miss McGee a bless you and you listed was showing not now only thing you listen dear no charge but I don't think you know I'm just playing you listen but I ain't seen him in his chat now it is a lag question I gotta go I've been with my husband for 25 years married for 15 separated for three many years of the silent treatment I am over and exhausted how can I truly get over bitterness and resentment well the last question I just answer Conor was for you to count was for you to and to be honest with you I think a lot of y'all know the answer somebody you might not know the answer but it really just comes down to doing the work and I want you to think about it like this if I say look I want my arms to get nice right now I look at my arm and I said what my arm to get nice if I go to the gym three times a week and I do fifty curls three times a week guess what after a few weeks my arms gonna look better after a month my arms gonna look better after three months my arms gonna look better so what I need y'all to understand is just the small gains so if you pray every day you gonna get stronger if you read every day you're gonna get stronger if you workout every day you're gonna get stronger if you're watching every life you're gonna get stronger cuz you're gonna get wiser and it's gonna build confidence and that's what's going to help you hey Rhonda thank you so much hey y'all thank you said in five minutes I told my wife I said baby ain't gonna be none but I will and she said I ain't gonna hold my breath she laughed at me plus he know when I get on here I'd be I'd be going but my phone bought the diamond so thank you all so much god bless you know I don't know if I get to do this on Sunday cuz I'll be out of town but if I miss it Sunday then I'll make up for it again next Wednesday Thursday if you near a lentil and you ready to become a life coach go to um you could go to Tony Gaston calm sports last events and you can sign up as a for the life coaching certification if it's tickets left I don't know if it is because it was only a few yeah if you're not ready for that February 23rd in Orlando for those of y'all in Florida I'll be speaking it's not my event it's um juju event juju from Love & Hip Hop New York I think it is you know she a good sister she although she's on that show we should be a little ratchet at time she I met her personally she a good person and I got a good heart on a good head on the shoulders she putting on a self-love event you know transition in her life doing things and and so I'm speaking at the event February 23rd in Orlando so that link is in the description of this video and for all the new members thank you so much God bless you I really appreciate you for joining us we try to do these Q&A every week so you'll be able to submit your questions when we own here of course I can't get all of them but you know I try to do what I can and as far as the videos I'm upload a video every day I just kind of have taken and trying to push myself to the next level of service and so what I'm trying to do is just make it a part of my daily work if that's ten minutes thirty minutes and recently this week has been out I can't always say it's gonna be that sometimes it might be three or four minutes but I try to post here today so if you just choose you know if you just choose a time each day and your self-development and if you reading books or whatever you don't maybe you can add the YouTube video to your self-development thank you all god bless you we're toast

Channel: Tony Gaskins

Views: 30,170

Rating: 4.9568181 out of 5

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Id: 3-2ue3Hbp2Q

Length: 78min 43sec (4723 seconds)

Published: Thu Jan 09 2020