Saturday Night Live | 9/4/21

who said that jacob is that all that yeah and he got out the car and held like direct attack uh downhill yeah on the street and he was like walking up to a house and he had like a towel in his hand yeah like it was like something in the towel yeah i i don't know what it was probably could be alcohol or something but it was like in the rag and he was holding it like this yeah like rubbing on it and then he looked at jacob and he was walking like this looking at jacob no i was like jacob don't there now and jacob would just stand up with the ball like this staring into his soul be good all right y'all gotta forgive me what's up buddy okay have you pressed the button yet you're going night night say hey hello be tight buddy you're going to bed right now okay all right y'all gotta forgive me that was not playing myself my oldest son i had already i was late and then my oldest son come tell me about some in the neighborhood and then y'all see my youngest son come say good night and um he getting old i don't know what i i think me spending money on his game on the love when he playing a video game won his heart over because he didn't used to make a big deal about saying good night like two years ago now he he whatever i'm doing wherever i'm at he got to come say good night you know so yeah y'all forgive about that this was very random so i didn't have enough time to plan this but um somebody mentioned when i went live on instagram and i said you know what i'm sitting in the bed my wife she you know doing her thing she she restructuring reorganizing tate and room and so she locking in put her music on and um so i was just sitting in the bed answering the q a on instagram and got the football game on and listening to i was listening to the boy album whenever somebody released an album i listened to the album just to hear what the culture was going on in the culture so i was listening to the guy um drake album and uh he had a song on there about where i'm from girls like girls and the song is promoting you know girl on girl action but with a boyfriend and then he had the other guy on there as a feature and that guy say you know she say she like to eat peach cobbler and he said i do too and so that's what i try to tell y'all this media and this music is out here to program you so this young man these young men not married so by creating a song like this that put them that put every woman that they will sleep with from this point forward that put them uh uh every woman that they will sleep with going forward that put the woman in the mindset bring a girl with you so it's creating women in the mindset of threesomes fosums what have you and then what'll happen is women who listen to that who don't have morals and values and were not raised with a parent or guardian that was very active in their life and very intentional in their life will start to say they'll start to say oh um i am i need to be doing this for my man i need to be bringing him a girlfriend and it's just how the subconscious mind work is how that program is working so that's why so that's why i listen to this stuff and i'm gonna tell y'all you know that's nasty you know it's nasty to be hollering by the threesome and all that and and just giving your body away like that and letting men have fun with you like that and it's just because because men don't think about the soul ties men don't when these men that's doing this and talking about this they're not thinking about the emotional damage that's happening and what's happening with them women and how they feeling after doing that and just but this this the world we in and that music is so powerful so it'll have people really doing that who just on on the verge on the fringe and not knowing so you know we got to understand that hey god bless you welcome to the new members of the blessed tribe uh who joining make sure you put the hashtag q in front of you your question i've seen somebody post one but um it's gone am i ooh for entertaining a dude in prison does that make me desperate he's done six got six more um it sounds desperate it does sound desperate especially if it wasn't your man before he went in and me personally i've just i never really see that work out too well um you know being faithful is a moral act so if a guy goes to prison and he's guilty that means that he lacks morals in a certain area and so he became a criminal and so it's hard to be a criminal and not have morals in in with the law and then be faithful and so that's why i always tell y'all you got to judge a man by his character so if a guy's a criminal he definitely going to be a cheater it's no such thing as as a guy who doesn't have morals and who willing to break the law and then him being faithful in a relationship because it's way harder to be faithful in a relationship than it is to commit a crime it's way easier to sell drugs or to steal or to rob or to kill than it is to be faithful for a man that sounds crazy to women but it's just how the men are programmed and how we wire it takes a lot of discipline for a man to be faithful so if a man ain't even got the discipline to stay out of prison he definitely ain't gonna have a discipline to stay faithful to a woman and so you just have to realize that's that says more than about him than you even being with him but a lot of time look you know i really don't like speaking on guys who criminals are in prison because i shoot back and i got a family that i got to take care of so that's why when y'all dealing with these jailbirds need thoughts don't mention my name cause i shoot back and then here i am got to be going on the road and i got a wife and two kids to take care of so y'all keep me out of that don't be asking about jailbirds now uh y'all listen god bless you listen apply be blessed hey man she trying to god bless you now okay okay okay y'all hold on i need a question flying in hold on hold on let me see something let me see something oh man i wish i had a way to they have a system that just keep keep them in order i'm gonna start doing on the computer even though it'd be a little fuzzy x watch x wants to make to make it work i want to try but i want to take things slow how long should be the courting phase be until becoming official again before i cut him off number of months well listen here's the thing you either be in or be out so if you don't want to be in and be all the way in then that means your heart is not sure about going back so don't go back and go back halfway and so you either end and when you end with an x that mean you treat him like nothing ever happened before you treat him like you just met him and you falling all in love again if you bring all the past in and you got all it that in there then it's gonna block you regardless of what he does so you either all in or you don't want to go at all and so this is a new development in my answer uh because you know in the past i would say you know be with them and take it slow keep your guards up and which all them things still are true but you still you can't treat him like he's on probation meaning you can't treat him like you know he in a halfway house he had to feel like you love him and you all the way in with him even though you watching and you paying attention so you know you just got to be be mindful of that if your heart don't feel sure and ready then then don't do it you know keep going you know don't don't force yourself to try to make something work if you don't feel good about it listen y'all you know it's hard for me scrolling back up to the question so get your question in and um your heart scrolling all the way back up and try to keep all comments out there out of that and just just questions so i could you know see the questions a lot easier if y'all could help me with that what do you say about taller women dating shorter men i am 6-2 and men have my height approaching me you know it's very interesting that men have your height approaching you because typically men are insecure about their height if a woman is taller and so it's very interesting that men you know shorter are approaching you and so i'm not sure if that's their confidence or that's a the little man complex that people talk about but or it could just be your beauty to them like your beauty is striking and they're like hey you know i hear men say stuff like i climb that tree or we the same height when we laying down i've heard men say things like that and so some men may not care it may not be insecure i also remember um celebrities a lot of celebrity men has made being with a woman who's taller they've made it cool they've made it popular and so you see these guys who are you know five four five six five seven five eight you know and they with a woman who's taller than them and now the guys got money if they stand on their money they tall but typically it's you know yes totally does live just started then typically it's you know it's the other way around but um that's very interesting to me and so here's the thing if you don't if you don't mind being with a shorter guy then it's worth going on a date to see if he got if he got real confidence or that's just a complex you know soon to be ex-husband professing his love but living with the side chick said he wanted to work for his family again but he turned around and messaged me he is gonna be with her does he love anyone probably not probably not it don't sound like he knows what he wants he sounds very confused uh stuck in the middle just kind of going i i personally don't understand those kind of men it really don't make a whole lot of sense to me so the feeling that i get is is those type of men are very hurt from childhood like very torn very scorn just really you know just tore up from the floor up and and in a lot of pain and just seeking a pain reliever and using women as that pain reliever and not really considering the hearts and that they damaging in the process of trying to soothe their heart that's the feeling that i get when men do that kind of stuff of age like almost every man does it like in teens and early 20s but once a guy is like of age and doing stuff like that it's kind of mind-boggling met him at public place started texting and he started making comment of my body in a flirtatious way red flag um it's not that it's not that big of a deal you know if it was disrespectful and it hurt your feelings and it felt real like if it's like whoa you really got a nice shape like if it's like that then it's like him just stream of conscience thinking out loud um you could tell if he meant something by it but if it's like i would drink your dirty bath water ah do this and do that to you now that's disrespectful and it just he has no respect but if he's like wow you really have an amazing shape like you really uh are blessed if it's some kind of like that then it's more so you know in all thinking out loud trying to be nice fishing for a compliment trying to you know strike up conversation in a nice way so you could tell if it's disrespectful or not if he means it to be raunchy or disrespectful luciano god bless you would you say is a good idea to join online dating to simply practice going on dates and socializing versus not doing on dates at all um god bless you luciano glad you're here i could tell you knew um i never really ever condone online dating only when somebody is 50 years old or older and the reason why i feel like at that point sometimes women start to get desperate men start to get desperate once they hit 50 and so it's like desperate measures and it's it's kind of like you know try shoot your shot you know because some people may feel like they only got 10 years left 15 years left 20 years left and it's not the same as being 20 25 anymore and so they feel like listen i got to do whatever i got to do to meet the love of my life because i'm just tired of being you know single so if a person feels like that as long as they're willing to get the knowledge before getting online and kind of have some boundaries when they get online to date then it i kind of can make it make sense when somebody's 50 or older and also because they've been here you know for a long time and have seen a lot heard a lot done a lot so i expect them to be able to pick up on games a little better even though sometimes that's not the case but when you under 50 you know especially under 40 you got time you know get out in the real world get around you know walk around be out go to events you know just just get out the house get on eventbrite.com or whatever the event ticketing site is in your area and it's always events going on and even with mask on and just get out the house and and do everything you need to get out of the house four times a week for months straight before you consider getting online dating online dating is so it's so tricky it's men and women who make a complete living off of online dating just getting money from people and so it's just way more that than it is genuine people looking for love so you could get on there with a genuine heart but by the time you meet somebody like you you'd have been raped over the coals and dogged out and when you get online you got to realize the online is like a smorgasbord it's like a it's like hunting ground it's literally like if it's like a lion going to [Music] a you know prairie of a lot of gazelles and just getting to just hunt all day that's what online dating is like and so i speak from a male's perspective being a man i realize it is countless women who are single so literally as a man if i was a single man i could walk down my street and meet two three single women before i get to the stop sign and so for me as a man it makes absolutely no sense for a man to be online dating so that's why i can't trust it because if a man gonna get online you got to realize the killers the serial killer the you know the the scam artist that's where they're going to go they're going to go online because they could hide behind a fake picture they could they could hide behind some lies they could send me messages they could get your information they could get your phone number they could look up your phone number they could do a reverse search on the app for your phone number they could find your real name they could find your address they could get on the black web find your social security number they could they could do so much to where you just you become prey when you go do online dating i am extremely extremely against it unless i create the app myself and i put in full proof a bunch of safe stuff a bunch of all kind of different hoops and things you got to do to where it's weeting out the people that's playing games to where if you're a scammer you you drained and exhausted by the time you get to send a message to somebody you got to be on there for real love and so i'm telling y'all get out the house get out the house i have a guy i'm interested in a ig we both follow each other i've let it be known i was interested through a mutual friend he likes my picks but has not said anything to me at all why not he he probably taking he's probably in a relationship and just trying everything he can he's fighting as hard as he can to be faithful and or he's not interested in you he and he's not attracted to you but he doesn't want to be rude and mean so he just send little likes to you know be nice but don't read into it if a man is not direct about his thoughts or feelings then don't don't read into it don't wait on it don't play with it go about your business my baby daddy is 48 he say he told himself he'll be single forever after divorce and raising two oldest kids i'm having thoughts feeling i messed up keeping this baby when i know it's a blessing he didn't want another well you know you make your bed you lay in it you you you was sleeping with them you were sleeping unprotected now you pregnant and you also was doing that for yourself so you got to realize that you know realize and understand that y'all got to forgive him a thing had cut out real quick though hopefully it's back home can y'all hear me sometimes my my wi-fi be acting up let me see i met this guy online and have not met in person however he does call me a lot and every time we talk it'd be hours on the phone he says we friends but why hasn't he made a move on me and asked me out now the weird thing about us men and what i try to help women understand is that for us men we can have uh oh when y'all know i'm talking about oh i'm out of release we could have a mental o off of just talking to a woman and so for some men it's more so about the feminine energy it's your voice it's your laugh it's the conversation and it's not about love it's not about a relationship it's just you feeling a void it's like you soothing to him it's like you're a teddy bear for a little boy who's scared and so for for some men that's all it's about so when a man talking to you when he talking for hours and he's not asking you out he's not trying to go out with you it's really you just his human teddy bear in that moment he's not looking for a girlfriend not looking for a wife you you're his therapist and so you got to understand that when you dating intentionally and a man isn't dating intentionally he just want to sit and talk on the phone that's when you got to realize you're his therapist you his human teddy bear and if that's not what you want to be in his life then that's when you need to cut it and go about your business because if a man is serious about you then he's going to make a move and he's going to be intentional because he doesn't want to risk lacking and slacking and then another man swooping in and you know swoop me off your feet so mouth to god bless you now how should i react if i am at dinner with a group of girlfriends and one guy and the entire table engages in explicit conversation this is extremely appalling and inappropriate well i mean you there you know once you had once you add dinner you there and knows your girlfriend so when the dinner over with you just need to reassess your friends and if y'all still on the same level and if y'all not on the same level then you know not to go out with them friends again but those your friends you know so it'll be way worse to get up and walk out you have to get up you know i gotta go i'm gonna leave y'all just doing too much much because then you're acting like a nun you know it's like okay it's explicit conversation if nobody not sitting at the dinner table slapping you with a dildo it's like it's explicit conversation you know you're a grown woman you said i mean don't don't be too too righteous and holy and you know oh my god oh my god i cannot take this you know and all of that is like it's a conversation they talking that's just where they at so it's like after that dinner then you know all right yeah y'all tripping i ain't going out with y'all no more linda brown god bless you now god bless you i'm getting braces in a couple weeks well men find me less attractive i mean it's a couple it's a couple of spurs with them braces to where the teeth really go to act it up you know i had braces for three years and if y'all see on some of my courses the braces up under my lips and uh i'm talking like that and then some of the courses on tonygastonacademy.com my bottom teeth was split was separated so i had you kick a field goal down there and i had the braces on but it just it was moving around in my mouth and so it was it's some couple awkward moments with braces but actually once once you your teeth is situated up under there it's actually you know a good looking thing it just it looked cool it looked cool it looked like self-care and it's like wow this person care about themselves this person working on themselves and you know the person looked good enough with braces so imagine when they come off and their teeth is straight and right and that smile nice so it's not a bad thing at all man they don't trip by that at all do you think a 32 year old affiliating themselves with a is a waste of time yes that's a waste of time and you waste my time with that question sister come on come on god bless y'all y'all not trying to answer everything now but y'all come on y'all gotta do better absolutely uh archer god bless you now god bless you let me see what maggie you dropping that question over and over and over thinking of leaving six years boyfriend it's hard because it's been a year of him being consistent and trying too much pain and hurt from the past any advice you would give to not go back and stay with the decision well you know that's it's kind of that's a rhetorical question kind of because you already know what you got to do you know you already know what you got to do and so a lot of times it's just kind of it's really like a addict going to n a or a a and then they have to get a sponsor you know like an accountability partner when they get weak they can call that person that's essentially what you have to do when you getting over relationship you got to have a life coach a therapist somebody that you can go to when you feel like calling him back when you feel like taking that phone call you can call that person and talk to them and they talk you off the ledge you know and so it's really doing the common sense things none of this is is rocket science it's like it's really the common sense thing putting one foot in front of the other cheryl god bless you now let me see here oh i did i miss i miss um hold on right quick audrey okay i almost miss you right got sunshine 20 god bless you now relationship lacks intimacy since prego baby six months now but it's often two months between we hug kiss every time but i worry maybe he lost attraction good man but don't understand how he goes without says he don't think about it as much now mid 30s yeah yeah um system with that one right there uh that's typic now you say you go months without so when y'all do go that means it working the thing get on up so that's probably not ed you're uh probably not ed and so what that typically is is hansella with ernography nasty movie that's typically what's keeping him satisfied or a whole another woman so if it ain't ed the e this function this function then that release coming from somewhere and so if he just ain't no asexual all of a sudden after having a whole baby and and it may not it ain't always about losing attraction sometimes it's just somebody else on that computer screen on that phone screen that just unreal and he just he went that thing got got about to get the skin off that thing and so he's so released he's so dumb that he just ain't got nothing left and so sometimes you got to look a little deeper you know you gotta look a little deeper and see what that is uh rock saying god bless you i'm a therapist i just started your life coaching can i go deeper as a life coach um not sure what you mean by deeper as a life coach because you could go if if you go deeper than life coaches then that means you're doing therapy meaning if you go into trauma bonds and childhood trauma and all of this stuff like that that mean you're doing therapy now they could come to you as a life coach and hire you like from my mentor.life you can be on my mentor.life and they can hire you as a life coach and if they bring up stuff that you can touch on in therapy then you just have to look at your therapy license and see if you legally allowed to you know do therapy with somebody who's in another state which i would assume you may be able to because of other sites now that them popped up that that therapists are doing virtual therapy through a app doing through text message through phone so they must have changed some law but you know um andre fantastic but it would be therapy you know and not coaching because with coaching coaches we don't have treatment plans because you know with therapy you're going you go to school you get a degree you get certified you get licensed by the state and so you can get audited and i don't know if y'all have to do like updates like recertifications or like you know continue learning in whatever state but therapists you you have treatment plans and so as coaches we don't have treatment plans it's really just based on life wisdom just what we've experienced so if something has been studied in human behavior by with what you learn as a therapist if you learn like if this person went through a lot with their mother or their father if there's a term for that that describes that experience or their feelings life coaches don't use those labels i said labels and somebody's like aristotle use labels but it is a label when you say trauma bond that's a label you know um childhood of you you know that's a label like that's what i mean by labels life coaches don't use that and so because we're not trained in that because what we're doing is listening asking great questions helping them come up with a solution of what they could do in the here and now and so the beauty about today a lot of therapists are also becoming coaches because it's some stuff that therapists don't do like work with their client on their book on their non-profit organization um i asked the therapist about that one time he was in baltimore maryland and i was like can you help a client write a book and he was like absolutely not i get ordered it out the yin yang he like now i can refer the client to you and i was like oh okay and so it let me know so coach is kind of hands on in that aspect help somebody start a business turn their pain into purpose and walk them through the whole business process the llc and all of that and so that's where a lot of therapists today are also adding coaching to their bio to their resume to their offerings but if you're a therapist you actually don't need to be certified as a coach you know you well coaches period don't have to get certified it's not required by law but it is good if you don't feel 100 comfortable about the industry and you want to learn it is a good thing to do is it bad to feel indifferent about dating it's not bad but it means you should sit still because if you can't date intentionally and know what you want and know that you out there for for sure you'll end up getting hurt so just sit still until you don't feel indifferent about it starfish bless you how to respond judgment from friend fam for leaving grown boy because they only saw him as perfect didn't see his toxic control disrespect behind closed doors well explain that to him tell them the whole story you know if they only saw one side you got to enlighten them to what they didn't see can can't god bless you and if they don't listen to that then you know they get miserable in their life and won't and don't mind if you be miserable than yours told a guy i'm not comfortable with him coming to my place vice versa still hasn't mentioned taking me on a date am i forcing or just let it go don't let it go go and let it go because it's common sense for a man to take you on a date but the reason why a man don't take you on a date because he got another one he either got another woman or he flat broke or he juggling women and he don't want to spend no money on nobody and he just looking for something on the side or he's just looking for a woman to sleep with but it's a very common sense for a man to take a woman that he talking to on a date even if y'all going to walk around late going to walk downtown on the way over where you just go up to that that that pizza restaurant and buy the pizza by the slice so you spend you know ten twelve dollars getting a couple pieces of pizza and a couple bottles of water and then y'all walking downtown people watching you know that i mean you could do something like that very cheap so if a man don't think about that it's cause he got another one he got another woman or he not looking for a woman he just looking for somebody to sleep with someone that i grew up with in church never anything between us he moved out of state for years he recently started calling and talks for five six hours he asked me to come visit i don't know if he likes me in that way if he talking five six hours something going on something's going on so either either you don't got a raise or you got a good job and he heard you got some money or he didn't seen you on facebook or instagram and saw that you looking better than he used to thank you look or he just went to his black book because his relationship ain't worked out and he's like did i overlook anybody in my past that could have been the one that could be the one but i ain't shooting my shot like something going on that that's not like a man to be talking no five six hours linda brown god bless you now i don't know if i said that but god bless you though our our blessing i've been separated for over one year we're supposed to file our papers but he hasn't said one word since moving out is this control of games it may be neither it's just he may not really feel a need to get divorced probably like he didn't feel a need to get married and so until he meet a new woman that he want to marry it may not really matter to him because if he out and about living his life doing his thing without a religious conviction then he knows that that marriage kind of keeps you stuck as a woman because he know you got more class and self-respect and dignity than to be out here sleeping around and dating and and you and you married and so it could just be to just keep you stuck and he doing his thing so you got to go and file your own papers and you know tap into the part of the law to where if he don't sign you get to go on head anyways and just do that reality check god bless you none how to increase the probability of men approaching me now see you know i totally get that and that's a legitimate question and i wish it wasn't though you know i really wish y'all didn't have that question but um because it's just not really and not really where you want your focus to be you know you don't want your focus to be on getting a man to approach you what you want your focus to be on is let me be the absolute best that i can be as a person so let me get my body to where i wanted to be let me get my business to where i wanted to be let me get my mind to where i wanted to be let me you know study myself study what's around me let me make sure that i'm tapped into the clothes for me the fashion for me to look for me you know the field of the the the vibe like where i want to hang out and just really dive into self-love and when you go into self-love what that's gonna do is that's gonna bring that's going to attract who you want to attract so never go into it with the mentality of somebody else more so focus on you and who you want to be and where you want to be and then the results are happening because if you go out here trying to get a man to attract a man you're gonna be awkward you know you're gonna be walking funny you're gonna be looking funny you know you're just gonna be you're gonna be awkward the man for you will be will be attracted to you you know in your natural in your comfort zone in your space the man for you will be for you let me see will a man keep calling you his wife and not mean it yeah yeah he sure will a mouth will say anything so that's what you have to realize and uh uh lie don't tell a lie so all you have to worry about is the actions because what we used to say when somebody say something we say that's what your mouth say and so you can't listen to what somebody's saying what are they doing what are they showing you that's all that matter was in the 26 to 35 group today but didn't have enough time to answer my question when you mention don't buy a home until marriage is that also meaning for single moms what i mean by yeah i mean for single moms too if you want to get married if you want to get married if your goal is to get married it's no sense in russian to buy a house because a lot of times people think uh i read an article in forbes one time a lady and her husband they had bought a house and they sold a house and she was like i'll never buy another house because it just don't make no sense because a lot of people call a house a asset but a house really is a liability because it's just a way for the bank to loan you money and make money off of you and until you absolutely know where you want to stay where you want to live what you're going to do that's your plan like because you could buy a house and then you could meet your husband the next month and then y'all supposed to move to another state and then your house don't sell or you got to take a loss on it or you'd have been paying interest on every payment leading up to it where you really knocked nothing off the principal and so if you plan on getting married until you just get to a point where you like you got a plan to where if you get married you're gonna turn this house will be paid off or you're gonna turn this house into a rental property or you know something like that but it's no different than renting but except for rent is you don't own a house so when the roof leaking the owner got to pay for it that's twelve thousand dollars when the pool break you ain't got to pay for it that's thirty five hundred dollars when the ac act up you ain't gotta pay for it that's a thousand dollars if you need a new ac unit that's seven thousand dollars so a house come with so much i'm i own a house i'm in a house so i'm a home owner and i'm telling you it ain't all it cracked up to be because your life could change every year every three years so have that flexibility because renting at the end of the thing a lot of time we just want a house just to say we own a house just to feel like we have accomplished the american dream but really when you actually think about it it's the bank winning because even if you pay off that house you still got property taxes so guess what if you don't pay your property taxes your house getting taken so you never own anything you never own a house because you got to pay private tax for the rest of your life and when you die whoever get that house if they follow hard times and they can't properly pay property taxes the house still getting taken so it's really it ain't what they made us believe it is but that's what the media does because this is a way that banks and the financial system get absolutely rich because by the time you done paying for the house you didn't pay back for it twice whereas the person who owned it and if you renting it from them they bear all the burden they the risk taker they taking the chances because if you stop paying rent they got to go through all kind of stuff to get you evicted they got to spend all kind of money if it's a moratorium they can't even kick you out so the homeowner actually be the one that's really taking a huge risk so if you single and your goal is to be married it ain't nothing wrong with renting a house until you know you got a solid plan and you know what you want to do with your life you know where you at where you going then you could put your digs in buy your house where you know you want to live you know stuff like that ah crystal martyr god bless you god bless you i don't know i'm 23 years old never been to college but still financially stable and independent i want to live a purposeful life and do something i love but don't know where to start any tips well do what you love you know write down identify what you love what is it that you love you know what write down your gifts write down your passions and then marry the two i got a course called entrepreneurship with purpose because i didn't just want to make money i wanted to earn a living living my purpose and being able to build a business around my purpose so that every day i could wake up and do what i'm here to do and be able to earn from that versus giving 40 hours a week to something that i'm not called to do and then only having a little bit of energy for the thing that i'm put on earth to do so that's that's what i call entrepreneurship with purpose and so take that course since you financially stable that mean you able to afford it and take the time and sit down and go through the work and do the work and process it and really get that in your spirit and in there you'll be able to develop identify what it is you need to start doing um what's your opinion of divorced couples going on family trips together with the kids both parties are single and not remarried um i mean that's totally fine if because you're single and you're not remarried and so if y'all not enemies and y'all kids you know want to go on a vacation and you're single and not remarried then that's totally fine if y'all not meant to be divorced and it was a something that happened in a week part of life that vacation might rekindle y'all and y'all remember what y'all lost so but it would be bad if you get into a relationship and then you trying to do that like some of the celebrities do that's when you mix and got too much going on because it was people asking me a lady asked me you know should my boyfriend ride to the away games with his baby mama and i said no he need to drop drive himself because when he with her you don't know if they bonding and you don't know if you know what's going when they get to that away game especially if it's somewhere they stand you don't know if they sleeping together like if he want to go to his son gang he and he is no relationship he needs to be after getting himself there and if he ain't got a car or he can't rent a car then unfortunately he got to let his son know i'm down on my luck man and i'll catch your next game if he want to be in a new relationship but if because that's disrespectful to the person so a child mother she probably yeah it's cool he can roll with me i just want my child to be happy yeah it's easy to see you not the new the new woman and so you know i asked my wife about that did that snare she's like no you'll be renting a car she's like you'll be renting a car to go to to your baby mama um to your son again if you if she was my new woman and my ex-woman wanted you know i want to rival her because i ain't got no cops she's like you'll be renting a car because it's a lot could go on in that car and so when you're done you done and it becomes a business transaction but if you single and not married then you do what you want to do and it could trip you up now if you're trying to heal how can you recover from talking too much and telling too much of your big business uh you really ain't can't recover from that i mean if it's out there it's out there anything you say in the court of love can and will be used against you i mean in the court of law anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of love and so you know that's you tony right ain't gonna call it miranda right because i made that up so that's your tony right your toner right you say can and will be used against you in the court of love so at that point if you told too much and you and this is a grown boy and you can gave him some ammunition and he finna unload the clip on you with all your business and rub it in your face and throw it in your face then that's how you know you messed up you messed up no calls for a for a few days said busy with cz and wedding benefit of doubt or lead says i'm not i'm not sure what you're saying i'm not really sure what you're saying so i'm not i don't know what cz is oh cousin busy with cousin wedding ah i mean he's not the party planner and if he party planning he's not planning all night long so you know that's that's hall watch he with him a whole another woman out there at that when he was one of the bridesmaids one of their weird when i yeah so yeah that's that all right they're uncalled for if if rock got time to call michelle every day he got time to call you so you can't put up you can't let people pull the wool over your eyes and hit you with little foolish stuff and play it like that hello i am a 35 year old christian professional single woman desiring a kingdom man and i don't date i desire greatly men are starting to approach me but not husband material any advice track you're on the right track if men approaching you then you're on the right track just a matter of just how to mop flops in the cookie crumbles it's just the numbers now so the numbers may say one out of 10 men gonna be worth your time so i i need 10 min to approach it before one unworth your time if he worth your time but he ain't the one then you need another 10 approaching before one unworth your time and so maybe two to three may be worth your time depending on where you at maybe five out of ten may be worth your time depending on where you at and so you know you want you on the right path now still home with family at 31 want a condo but should i just wait to move out when i meet my husband you should wait to move out you know when you but make sure staying with your parents that you got a budget that you invest in that you you know have you a little stock app you know like betterment.com and you sending a little money every check putting it on the market and your roth ira putting your six thousand dollars a year into your roth ira and then direct that roth ira into a specific fund you know that you buying into and so that you got right there put up at least and you got your savings and you got your credit score you building your credit so don't just stay at your parents house just to be able to you know ball out and eat out every day and you know still be broke and then when you meet your husband you still broke busted and disgusted even though you've been living with your parents so stay with your parents because see men real men are protectors and providers so a real man coming in to be that guy like he coming in to say listen i i got us i got us like you you whatever you bring to the table that's you know that's bonus but i want to get to a place to where i got us and so that's a real man mentality and he really after that bag to where he want to have more than enough to take care of the whole household and if the woman make money that's that's a that's icing on the cake but that ain't his cake because he bought his and so he know how to get his so you living with your parents from the male perspective it's not a bad thing not for no real man now a grown boy one of these new age boys if he caught up in all this right here going on he might look down on you for that but a real man old school but with a with a good heart he don't care nothing about that he like oh that's smart so we getting together and you coming in with a little bag to your name you coming in good credit scope so i ain't got that when we get married i ain't got to just put my name on the house oh five name could go on there yo 720 750 800 credit score gonna help us get even better interest rate so now it's like you bring some to the table when y'all get married and you come up about your mom and daddy house what is the best way to handle inconsistencies reason is always sick parent or communication then will respond with apology and reason how long is this pattern acceptable well i mean you got to look at what he's going through so if the parent is really really sick and it's really really draining and it literally takes all day to where when he's done he passing out and let's say you go over and you visit one day at his parents house where the sick parent is at and while the parent is sleeping you and him sit in the living room talking and you get to see that workload and what he has to do for his parent so it becomes real to you then that's when you really could understand it but if you ain't never been over there to the house you really don't have verification proof that the parent is sick and he always in and out and all this and that no can't believe that can't believe that because the way i look at it like this right here as a human if i'm taking care of my sick my sick parent and it's draining and it's exhausting but i got somebody that i'm wit and i love them when i'm done with my when i put my sick parent to sleep i'm going and i'm putting my bluetooth in i'm putting my headphone in and i'm laying in the bed and i'm calling my person that i'm in love with i'm like yeah what's going on oh i feel so tired you gotta forgive me from fall asleep what's that what's that i'm sorry oh my god i just been changing diapers and just rubbing feet and just changing you know bad swords and just giving battles all day and then you know parents just keep using the bathroom on itself like i'm talking through that with my person that i love as i'm falling asleep and so it's always time for love that's the thing like i get that question so many times but you a lot of time you got to put yourself in them shoes and say okay will i call this person you know if i'm serious about this person will i call this person and so no you said talking phase that's even more important to be calling you because they don't even know you like me and my wife i could go a day if i'm out and on biz and i'm tied up because i got 14 years in the hole meaning that i don't build it up but if you just meeting somebody that's even more reason for him to be fine in even five minutes to talk to you on the phone on facetime unless the situation is extremely extremely just draining and the parent about to die you know and so it's not just the physical it's the emotional and the mental if it's something like that then that's when you got to be understandable do you agree when you start to make excuses for the person you are dealing with it's time to leave for example not being consistent yeah you're right excuse and make changes so you shouldn't have to make excuses for nobody and that's what most people make excuses for the person they with for the relationship they in because it takes a lot of strength to leave they take a whole lot to leave and so a lot of times we will make them excuses because it take a lot of time i mean it take a lot to get up and leave so yeah it's hard i applied the 14-day rule to a man i was dating for seven months i haven't heard from him since day one that was over two months ago how do you know his ego or he just doesn't care um seven months it's definitely ego it's definitely ego whether he cares or not it's ego but it also was just seven months like he didn't really have any love for you like men don't fall in love in seven months and if he was in love and he really cared for you then you would have never had to do the 14-day rule because he would have never pushed you to that point so essentially he was sabotaging the relationship to push you away because he wasn't man enough to say i don't want to waste your time i don't want to waste my time we're not meant to be so he just sabotaged the relationship by dogging you out or doing whatever he was doing to you to make you do the 14-day rule because now it's on you now you're the one who left you the one who backed out because you didn't want to put up with what he was putting you through so that's what some people will do when they don't have the strength or the maturity to just cut it off like a real adult and say hey this is not going to work make sure y'all put on the hashtag q in front of your question what do you think about buying a house for me and a parent i plan to travel for work but want my mom to have a place and for me to have somewhere to come home to not trying to date still a bad idea not trying to date if you're not trying to date then you know that's cool and it's cool it's cool to buy a house um as long as you know you not if you're gonna get married one day you're not attached to it if that house could become your mama house and you make enough money to pay that bill there and you still putting it into your house with your husband if you working or if or that's required or expected by your husband it's it's totally fine but at the same time it's like there are houses that is owned by a real estate company so as long as you pay the rent they're not gonna kick you out the house because they are in it to buy and hold it's different when you go and you talk to the realtor and you about to rent a house and you rent it from a family who they just rent it out because they went up north or because they got called over here or over there but they really trying to sell it but it's not selling so they renting it that's when you could be packing up and moving every year but if you rent it from a real estate investor they just they're going you're gonna have that house you know they they they buying and holding and so you can even sign the lease for more years if you want to i wouldn't recommend that just in case it's a you know crappy place and stuff you can't see just buy through a walk-through but don't be don't don't force buying a house you know don't don't force rush in that process especially when you young you know don't get caught up in this american dream stuff and next thing you know you got this huge bill this huge thing that got all this other stuff like don't rush it don't rush it you know it's cool and then you know it's your mama they got nice apartments too you know and y'all ain't if you you ain't got no kids you her child just you and her condo in the sky you know overlooking the water you know gated nice condo you know it don't have to be a house like don't force that because especially when you young because you really don't know what tomorrow bringing and you know but if you're just gonna shut it down and you say forget relationships okay there's people that do that on your mentor life do you have coaches that would be able to get me to get motivated to find a hobby or what i like to do i've worked two jobs for the past five years my life consisted of work only um not really you know coaching is really for motor people motivated people you know so you kind of go in looking to change looking to grow you know but nobody will be able to do anything for you that you don't want to do for yourself or that you can't do for yourself you know it's something that you got to go in and you say okay i'm ready i'm ready to activate and if that's the case and you you know you misworded it then yeah coach will be able to help you to devise a plan to create some me time and get out the house a little bit more and you know you'll be able to do that nope sarah i didn't see your question but if you would have put your question right there i would have seen it so you know um post your ques copy and paste it your question again and again until i see it uh god bless you i live in north of atlanta and work in decatur atlanta men god bless you says i don't know about atlanta i don't know about atlanta and i just you know god bless you but what i hear about atlanta and what i see by atlanta ah [Music] beyonce left blended fiancee left blended family and is troubled by um drowning that girl praying stay it's time to let go sis time to let go let on go you can't beat nobody else edition make sure you put a hashtag q in front of you um question ah let me see i noticed that a lot of people want to pick my brain brain family and close friends but don't want to support my life career business coach sessions is it bad that i stop jumping and answering the phone um yes it'll be bad that you start answering the phone because that ain't who you need support from you know you never really get support from the people who know you so you can't really expect that or you'll be disappointed all the time i i mean i'm a coach and i've been coaching since 2007 14 years there has been two people who knew me before i became a professional that have hired me for coaching two people and so it's just not something you have to you should wait on or expect so really what you see friends and close family ass see them you know see them as paid as on-the-job training use them for your practice to where learn how to listen through them get on the phone with them and let them talk as long as they want to talk so that helps you develop emotional intelligence patience and you know you really get to the place to where you can listen and then ask great questions and really practice and hone your craft with friends and family and then as you building your brand and you marketing yourself on social media or out in public or putting up you know billboards or bus stop benches then you bring in people real people from the outside world that's paying you for your services but you are already a seasoned professional because you've been getting training through friends and family so change the way you see it and don't let that get you frustrated i'm ready to date it's been nine years how can i be approached without looking so obvious looking desperate yeah get out the house you know just get out the house you know don't be walking all slow walking all slow and all this don't be doing all this and all let just get out the house just walk regular you know just sit down at the food court have you you know a little bite to eat uh walk through the park walk through the mall you know just get out the house be normal says time is that ecclesiastic says time for everything based on your coaching and conversations with single men do they seem to be looking for relationships or just relations in this season men always just looking for relations it's always going to be men looking for relations now because um since galatians since all the asians it's always been me and looking for relations and that's always gonna be you know that's how men just trained by society and all of that so uh but today on our zoom call we had some men on the call and i was absolutely shocked that never really happens we had men on the call and asking what to look for in a wife and how to prepare for a wife and that was in the 26 to 35 year old call and i was shocked by that i was like wow that's the first time i feel like that didn't happen that i could remember i know it happened before but barely been working on myself with life coach and therapist and focus on family husband husband three-year-old son sis has been disrespectful and using me as a punching bag has to confront her and got this distant distant from her but it hurts advice um i don't know when you say sis if you talking about his sister or or your sister but either way you know it's gonna hurt but what you have to do when somebody hurt you gotta flip it and you got to realize that hurt people hurt people so if somebody hurting you that means they extremely hurt that mean that they so miserable they so bitter they so upset i remember my sister used to practically by cuts me out because i wouldn't give her money and i wouldn't loan her my car i wouldn't buy her a car i wouldn't buy my mama house i wouldn't buy my mom or a car because they thought i had more money than i did and she was saying oh okay your sister yeah that's just that's jealousy is jealousy is she she probably little do you know she probably got a man that's abusing him it's probably a man abusing the problem and gave her std or man stole money from her like if she using you as a punching bag she is being punched on whether that's physically spiritually emotionally people just don't hurt people for no reason people hurt from their hurt so you always got to understand that and sometimes you got to realize that and just pray for him and and talk to him not check them like my sister i remember she was getting slick out the mouth i cut off it probably was about a year i ain't talking to my sister and that's my only sister but guess what when when the lord finally gave me the release to talk back to her i talked to her my sister ain't tried me since it's probably been a couple years my sister ain't tried me since because when i show her that she could get cut off and that i don't need her to be peaceful and happy in my life and my life went on i ain't lose a wank of sleep and that's my only blood sister but my peace mean more i'm gonna protect my peace you're not fitting to run me to an early grave in the name of we blood no absolutely not bye block i blocked her she couldn't even reach me my mom was begging me taught heals sister tomorrow promise i say listen if she gone tomorrow i'll be at peace because i protected my peace and i ain't did nothing to her i ain't disrespected so if that's how she want to go out that's on her i'm not gonna let that ain't gonna let somebody abuse me and beat up on me and dog me out and talk to me any kind of way and take out all their pain on me absolutely not and i'm up at night and it's stressing me out about how ulcers and i got stuff i gotta worry about listen don't matter who it is anybody can get cut off anybody can get cut off don't let nobody drive you to no early grave stressing you out remove them from your life and teach them a lesson that if you gonna come come correct or don't come at all you got to have that kind of energy on is it a good idea to cross baby daddy and tell his parents before he claimed he will that they have another grand on the way due in a month i mean that's your baby so you ain't got to tell your parents because that just that you're nasty so those his parents that's his relationship with them let him tell them when he want to tell them and if they never tell him that's on him because that's not their child that's your child so you really should not care about whether they know about the child or not because that child is your responsibility not theirs and so that is his parents and that's his relationship with them so you let him handle that and you stay out of that and you tell your mama now and you worry about your relationship with your family because you never know what they have put him through and what type of pressure they have put on him to where he may feel like an absolute failure to be going to them telling them he got a child on the way because you don't know what type of verbal stuff he done went through emotional stuff he didn't went through so don't exacerbate that and make it worse just out of spite like just for no reason because them knowing not gonna benefit you at all you see what i mean now you see what sheriff say if you ask one question already please don't post another one via tony amen so y'all try to you know be respectful because some of y'all ought to answer your question two or three times from you because you because you know you're making this your own q a when y'all see it's a lot of question in here um that ought to miss so y'all let me get the people who i miss before you post another question i live in miami and believe it or not hard to meet people here believe it or not everybody know that everybody know that what you feel the meat down there any advice i move here from new york that's another place hard to meet somebody find miami to be a land for the lonely and single you thought yeah absolutely he supposed to be in a regular city miami that you go to miami for a holiday weekend like this right here memorial day you go to miami for club live and get on out of them you know the fontaine blue miami ain't good for nothing but you know a party ain't nobody serious down there in miami atlanta new york city them kind of places like that it's too fast it's too too hollywood it's too showy you know it too and ain't nobody really looking the the settle down and have no family and raise no family unless they already was there you know and that's just all they know but like maybe the city is on the outskirts of miami you know that may be a little more homey homely a little more less you know showy and flashy and vain and superficial might suit you if you're looking for something real but the man down there in miami they looking to scam that's who've been down there using my darn credit card buying 2 300 for sushi we own you we on your tail you're about to go to prison nash defroster i call the sushi place they gave me your name and your phone number got your number to look your butt up on your tail got the police on you somebody in my hand and i had my credit card down there buying 2 300 for sushi probably trying to feed the whole bar i say my cut yeah but that's how that's high b down there so yeah god bless your sister you might have to visit a little smaller city or something sometimes go to naples or somewhere walk around told a guy nolan weed was a turn off for me his response was oh okay i'll stay from around you was i being too harsh no you telling the truth that ain't too harsh now harsh would have been you know calling him oh no good sorry weed head old pothead you a low life pothead that would have been too harsh but saying smoking weed is a turn-off for me and him saying okay i'll stay around from around you that just mean listen you're not you're not bigger than this here addiction i don't want i don't want you that bad because i want to hear green leaf so i'll highlight you that's all he's saying so it's like appreciate that that he real and gonna hear about your business yeah tell everybody to everybody somebody hack another one of my credit cards and bought a 2500 medical device from somewhere i said all right but see you got no you got no liability on credit card somebody hack you so i ain't worried about it because i'm gonna get my money back and they but going to jail god bless don't nobody put nothing on your books what are three ways to break soul ties easier said than done you in the right place keep doing the work keep doing the work it's just really time distance space and new knowledge you know if you get new knowledge and you're not talking to that person entertaining that person in that way in a romantic way and you give it time and space then that's gonna help you hi tony can i begin healing and trusting my sister who dated a man i publicly dated right after me it has hurt me she's apologized and my heart went out for her based on her reason yeah you could forgive her you could forgive especially hearing her reason and why she did it like think about this she really got to be down bad she really got to be down bad she really got to be lonely to where she bout to lose it she bout to pull her hair out she losing it like to date a man that you publicly dated and you her sister like think about where you got to be in your life to do that like she down bad and so yeah you could forgive you know love her and she apologized she explained why she did it and it part of it was she feel you prettier than her she feel you always get the man she feel you better than her she feel you get more opportunity than her and she she will feel good about having your sloppy seconds and so you know and that's stuff that she may not articulate but that's really where a person got to be to do that today today blood sibling so you know you got to understand that right though let me see um put your hashtag q in front of your question i try to scroll up and catch what i miss but y'all forgive me i'm 24 and i don't understand men playing video games is this something that can or should be overlooked um it could it can be overlooked and it should be overlooked as long as it's not obsessive you know i mean obsessive or excessive as long as like he plays and he playing you know hour two hours sometimes he may go four hours if he go cross four hours and he do that more than one time a week twice a week at the most he he getting a little lost he getting a little lost in the sauce especially if he bagging where it need to be now if his money up and he got money and that's what he do in his free time then it's better than him surfing the well on the nasty site or on instagram liking buddha models pictures so you know stimulating his brain is giving him a challenge so you just got to look at is this thing intrusive is it he's super addicted or this is this just his hobby you know and then look at what you like to do and how many hours you give to your hobbies and the things you like to do how do you know when you're ready to date after a divorce um when you could laugh like you've never been hurt before that come from my daddy my daddy told me that when i was trying to heal and do right and stuff like that by my wife and um he said when you could love like you've never been hurt before that's when you know you ready and so that goes for the same thing after divorce if you gonna go into a situation to your next relationship and you're gonna give the person two strikes and they ain't even stepped to the plate then you're not ready finally built up the strength to leave the father of my kids six months ago after watching your videos he put me through too much acts nice now and like we're still together and won't move out how to move on well um you say you left them when you really ain't left from there sister you left them y'all lit together you ain't going nowhere yeah yeah yeah y'all still together something if you ain't left till you gone you know so if you don't have the money to move out you got first and last month's rent then y'all still together he's gonna still touch you in the un-armed distance he's over there listening to this right here plotting on me how he finna get to me because you said you left him after watching my videos let's listen they gotta do it me don't give me your credit don't give me your credit you love him for you you love him cause you want to leave him now don't give me no credit because he come over here you see what i'm saying that's what i tried to tell y'all do not mention me don't give me no credit for leaving no relationship because i want every man to be there for their kids and if one of these men come at me they're gonna be with the lord and i don't want that i want everybody to be here on this earth for their children for that with a family with their loved ones so don't y'all mention me anything you do that's on you that's what you did that was your choice so understand that and two this is the thing when you want to leave when you want to be done with a relationship you can't just wait on somebody else to leave if you got the sacrifice you got to work overtime you got to save money you got to rob peter to paypal to get on up out of there to show that person that you really bought their life and you really bought this moving on that's what you got to do because sometimes in a relationship we take a gamble and we lose and sometimes when you lose a gamble you lose your whole shirt you lose your whole house you lose your savings when you gambling and so when you love pursuing love and a relationship is a gamble and so you got to be willing to cut your losses you got to be willing to have bad credit for a season for eviction or for something to hit your credit to get out of that toxic situation you got to be willing to go about your business and that really lets that person know that you are extremely serious and so really that's what he waiting on he like well if you ain't gonna leave you ain't really serious about leaving me that's what he telling himself elizabeth wepts of god bless is it weird to want to wait till daughter is grown to date seriously daughter is almost eight and i've been divorced four years friends say don't wait that long thank you for your wisdom um uh eight to date seriously well here's the thing it really comes down to how you define dating seriously so if you mean letting a man move in with you as dating seriously then it's not weird to want to wait until she grown if you mean going on a date with a man and y'all being exclusive and y'all being an item but when you are with him you're leaving the house and your daughter has a babysitter a family member or you dropping her off at your best friend house or your mama house or whoever and you going on a date and then you coming back picking up y'all going home or somebody coming over that you know love and trust that's watching your daughter and you on a date and even when your daughter get a little older if it's your mom or somebody that you know love and trust you know that's not a man or that's not a woman that you know like little girls or what have you somebody that you know safe they're not crazy they emotionally intelligent you could trust them to chaperone your daughter to watch your daughter you can even take a trip with your boyfriend you know and y'all gone for two nights like you could date seriously with a child but what what you should not do is try to put that man in your child life until you have thoroughly thoroughly vetted him and you know that that is your husband and that y'all engaged about to get engaged and you're extremely happy he has proposed because even after he proposed you still got a year before you have the wedding or six months or however long and so you've had time you need to take when you have a child you need to take at least two years when you meet somebody it need to be at least two years before you marry this person when you finna bring them into your life and you got a child because essentially having a child was really it was like an attempt to have a a life partner like you didn't just have a child from somebody that you didn't see yourself being with like you wanted to be with that person you wanted to make it work now not 10 times that's why sometimes one night stand or what have you but so when you have that child is really the other side of wanting to be with somebody and from sleeping with somebody unprotected so you have to expect that to change your life some to change the trajectory the path of your life and so it's okay being single as long as you need to as long as you want to but then when your heart really starts to yearn for a relationship it's okay to date you just have to have boundaries it's okay to date seriously you just have to have boundaries so that you are the front line for your child you are the front line of defense so that the person you're dating you are vetting them and you making sure they sound they safe they smart they're good-hearted they're responsible integral all of these things before you allow them to be in your child's life to meet your child and know your child and you know be around your channel all that uh meditation room god bless you now hello tony i need your advice i have a pastor who talks negative about me and makes false judgments about me personally he avoids talking to me i feel so defeated and confused at why he doesn't i'm just i feel confused with you man i mean do the church got aboard if the church got aboard the bible say you know the the go to that person with a witness so me personally it's like you and the pastor got history did y'all sleep together like why he just picking on you out of all the people is it like a schoolyard crush and he like you and you ain't give him no play like why he picking on you out of all all the people so we're missing something i i i find it hard i believe passages look back there oh okay huh let me talk back about yeah let me take this congressman remember right here just terrible you know get on in my mentor.life and talk on about the pastor and you talk through this here now me personally i'm going to the board on it but i'm going to the board on them you stand up here representing god you're a man of the cloth and you acting childish and petty i got to go to the board on you got to go to the board on you you still acting childish and petty i might have to go to social media on your butt you said i mean i i don't anybody that's representing god i don't play with him i take the gloves off i don't play don't don't be out here saying god if he ain't gonna do it the right way now after a long-term relationship i take the time to heal from it and and get myself together but men seem to just jump right into the next thing is that why their new situation will fail typically it'll fail but not all the time you know so the way men are a lot of times what we do as men is we heal if we trying to heal we heal with the next woman and that's the backwards and messed up thing that a lot of men do but i believe it's because as men the world kind of caters to us in the sense of a lot of times a man had a mama or a grandma or a auntie but even if in the group home the woman staff the female staff versus the male staff cooked clean washed dishes did laundry so so men are so accustomed to being taken care of by a woman that a lot of men don't know how to be single don't know how to be without a woman taking care of him physically or emotionally like cooking and cleaning it's it's a select group of men who can do that but that's not common a lot of men need a woman in their life to be doing his laundry or cooking his food or washing his clothes or you know just taking care of of him mentally and emotionally and so that's why as men we go from woman to woman whereas with women you raise more independent a lot of women are taught by their mother or their grandma how to cook at like 9 10 between 9 and 13 a lot of women are taught how to take care of a house and how to be independent and a lot of men don't get that same teaching some do but most men don't get that same teaching because most men have a sister and the sister is taught how to do that stuff because of gender roles it ain't i'm not saying it's right but i'm saying this is what's real so that's why men heal differently than women because men a lot of times have been catered to and taken care of by a woman and so that was the experience of most men that i know and mama just being there mama doing everything and then even mama bailing us out of jail over and over again mama fighting the principal because the principal want to suspend us from school for a fight we started like mama has always took care of her boy and made sure he was straight and fought for him stood up for him took up for him and so men get spoiled by that and always kind of want to have a woman on the roster whereas a woman a lot of times mothers are mean to their daughter you ain't gonna get no husband if you don't know how to cook you need to know how to clean you need to know how to cook you ain't gonna be worth nothing and so a lot that's why you see so much contention between mothers and daughters and then you see the sun get kind of babied by the mama but the daughter get cursed out and so that's the from you know from from the beginning of time from adam and eve you know and cain and abel they were two sons but before they didn't even mention the daughters that they had but you see what they did each other and so that's really what it is it ain't just that men are just degenerate it really come down to societal you know constructs that shape the way we interact in our our relationships um miss j god bless you now why would parents tell their child to stay in a toxic relationship and tell the child why would parents tell the child stay in touch relationship and tell the child to stay and let the other person pay all the bills until they are able to leave is that wrong um no it ain't necessarily wrong it's just a parent giving the best idea the best you know idea that they could give but it just comes from not knowing any better so i mean yeah technically it's wrong but it just the parent don't know no better you know that's what the parents seem done that's what the parents saw they saw a lot of a lot of women put up with a man who was cheating who was a dog and it was because he paid the bills and she felt like i can't leave because i don't have any money so if she did that or she saw her mama do that or she saw this person over here do that then that's what she's gonna tell that's what she gonna tell uh her daughter to do hey just stay till you get something you know that's what she gonna tell and so you have to realize that and um you know and and really be mindful that sometimes just people telling you what they do and they don't know any better why does it seem like men don't really approach women anymore uh social media you right it is right it's social media just so it's a smorgasbord it's a it's a buffet a lot of men could go on they inbox online and meet women in the dm all day to where that becomes so intoxicating and so you know enabling that men a lot of men don't see the need to approach a woman and have to face rejection in public in his face whereas other people watching other people see him get rejected get turned down and as men before social media we had to wear that we had to wear that crown and some men who couldn't wear that crown used to spaz out like all men had a homeboy that when he shoot his shot and that woman turned him oh yo thank you damn that why you ugly anyway ain't he won't you like hey and he going off he's spazzing out and it's really because his feelings hurt because he was like no thank you i'm scraped no thank you and he's just upset and i and and it get worse than that i literally have seen people on the news women on the news who turned the man down and the man took the woman life i get that real that some men so fragile that they can't deal with another form of rejection because his daddy rejected him his mama rejected him the football team rejected him the basketball team rejected him his friends rejected him the school rejected him so now when he approached his woman and she reject him he don't know how to deal with rejection but he can't beat the law he couldn't be the football coach he couldn't be the daddy so he take it out on his woman cussing her out doing this and that so now to avoid that rejection a lot of men would rather just shoot a shot in the dm where nobody sees it but him and that woman and if she ignores him or rejects him he could play it off don't tell nobody that that happened and so social media has really you know taken away from men having the confidence to go you know up to women and approach women shoot they shot uh nikita lewis post your question again nikita uh you all right sarah you're all right you know you know till we told you god bless you miss bubbles your ministry have been a blessing to me as a thank you here a gift suggestion for your wife sorry for the intrusion um start a journal of the small things she do that remind you of why you love her that's all you do thanks for all you do mrs um bubbles i really appreciate that i actually did that already and when i tell you when she read the thing one by one she started crying she started crying what we did it has called a blessings jar and so we we got mason jars and we put stickers and all kind of designs on it from michael y'all got forgiven the internet cutting in and not i don't know my wife might be having netflix on now some internet cutting in or not probably it's probably trying to tell me to get off here youtube like man you not too much bandwidth get your butt on off here to me god bless you what to do i feel uncomfortable around my brother new wife he cheated on ex-wife with her new wife extra friendly i don't talk to the new wife well you gotta look at this you know that's your brother did that ain't the woman ain't doing nothing you know that's your brother did that so you need to be upset with your brother not with the new woman you know because that's your brother decision that he made so you need to be talking to him and be upset with him and if she the new woman extra friendly that's because she try she actually cares she trying to come in and say hey listen i you know this one just me out here she knew by the other wife she she trying to say this one just me like i want to be your friend sis you know and because if she was nasty she'll be like kiss my behind i got your brother your brother taking care of me your blood doing everything i want him to do i don't care nothing about you or how you feel that's how some women who nasty will be but she coming in being extra friendly she's trying to say listen i know we ain't this ain't start the way you want it but you know so don't be mad with her and that be the thing and that's what i say is like as a man i had to get to where i want accountability as a man if i cheat on my wife with another woman and i leave my wife for another woman that's on me because a lot of times this other woman don't even know that a man got a wife or this other woman is being told the marriage is done the marriage is over everything's shot that's why i'm talking to you so so a lot of times this other woman she completely in the dark and she feeling like the marriage over and he done and because that's what a man gonna do is try to assure her that the marriage is over and that she ain't doing nothing wrong by talking to him but see this the thing a lot of times as men we get off because our sister get mad at the new woman our mama get mad at this woman our mama get mad at the ex sus to get mad at it like a lot of time the woman get blamed when it was the man doing the dirt and doing the damage so sometimes you really got to look at it and if it was a woman it was a woman and you got to look at that too but in this situation that's that's your brother doing there appears to be a lot of talking on the so-called uh huh that men tend to not date women of their generation and prefer to date younger women um well for one you know sarah um let's not come on here and get these guys no pull and be saying a name and spelling a whole look movement out because everybody don't know what that is and what that's about so now you've been have a lot of people going to google and giving these people views and making them money so in the future just say it seems to be talk amongst other men that many men tend not to date women of their generation and prefer to date younger women and that is true that is true and like what i told you even somebody working for the devil will say stuff that is true and that is true a lot of men are on that a lot of men on that and when i look right next to me you know a lot of men that i know they woman is way younger than them like a decade or more me personally i don't understand it because that's nasty to me as a 37 year old man i would not want a 27 year old woman i don't care how good she doing in her life i don't care how smart she is that's not attractive to me i wouldn't want a 25 23 24 because at 37 i'm like no offense to y'all that age but i'm kind of like uh you'll look a little too young like you look too mm-hmm cuckoo for coco puff little toucan sam follow the rainbow like i got too many years of knowledge and wisdom that on top of you that we can't really vibe on no conversation on the depths that i want to go because them extra 10 years and taught me [Music] this person ain't never seen so the thing a lot of times be careful what i say because it's guys that that i know personally like that i'm cool with that's my homeboy that they woman is younger now for some of them well for them the ones i know they just kind of met the woman they bumped into the woman found out later she was younger for me personally that'd have been the end uh oh you're too young i'm gone you said i mean and so but for whatever reason some men they they stay with that younger woman and some of the reasons it is nasty stuff that you you know can't talk on talk about here and it's just a mindset of thinking that you know uh less mileage you know less less experience less men less you see what i mean so they're thinking like let me get something the woman that's newer versus a woman that then got as much miles as me that's what they thinking then sometimes this let me have somebody they thinking they want somebody that they could dominate meaning that they could control mentally and they can re-raise they could teach them everything they need to know so that the student never passes the teacher and so a lot of times men will do that out of weakness and insecurity they want a younger woman so they could raise her so they could train her so they could teach her so they could get over on her because she hasn't heard all the games she ain't seen all the games so when he run that game she like whoa okay she know what he'll cook he'll play up front of him a layer you see what i mean so sometimes that's what that is unless the koopa god bless you now how do you know when you read it uh tiffany i that probably tiffany might be further back in the video than where we at and don't realize i already answered a question so tiffany if you hear live watch the video again question i already got answers so it's the god bless you an industry guy a week ago we have gone on two dates in a row he left for shows while the airport invited me over and i said i'm not ready yeah did i do the right thing while that airport invited me over and i said i'm not ready did i do the right thing um yeah i'm kind of confused on what you're saying if he invited you up to the airport or while he was at the airport he invited you to come on the road for his shows uh if he invited you to come on the road for his shows then and you say you're not ready and you honestly not ready then yeah you did the right thing you know but if he was asking you to come up to the airport and sit and talk with him while he you know before he go back to the gate you know i really which i assume you mean maybe go on the road but yeah yeah you did the right thing though because two weeks you don't know that man it could be some kind of ted bundy um yeah sister i'm not sure what fo m s mean and i have had father of my son maybe and i have had problems recently gave myself to christ he born christian but he sins a lot and don't want to change but wants me to change a lot and blames me for our turmoil should i stay away yup yup don't stay away anytime you with somebody man or woman they go both ways anytime you with somebody and they can't accept their fault what they doing wrong they can't accept what they doing wrong look themselves in the mirror grow and change and meet you there then they're not the person for you hey y'all gonna be on here by 17 more minutes i look like my wife done working so i think she sent me a test but she could have been responding to my text so i don't know if she wanted me but i she'll come get me if she want me i decided i'm working oh no she's still moving around i hear those i trust your judgment tony and i'm really not sure what kind of energy i give off looks wise i get approached where men will compliment me and say i'm beautiful but will literally walk away that is uh men who took him those taking me in who trying to be faithful and so what i was mentioning earlier sometimes for me and talking to a woman is oh off of just talking to a woman so a man who is taken and he trying to be faithful he may just come in a woman and say oh you beautiful i'm holding right quick let's move this out of the way he may just compliment a woman and you know tell that woman oh you you oh you're beautiful i just want to let you know you beautiful and going by this business and so for him it's like he maybe was used to hollering at women and sleeping with women and cheating so now that he's in a relationship he feel like about the burst and so just that look calm comment that little conversation give him a release and you know i remember when i first started trying to be faithful in my life i felt that you know i really felt that and so i understand that so so a lot of times it's just a man he he actually take him but if he's single and he thinks you look good he's gonna let you know me and my baby daddy broke up september 2019. i gave birth october 2019 we were at odds for the longest we recently slept together he has a girlfriend i feel bad and told him this can't happen again and he flipped the script on me well i mean sister you played yourself you played yourself you know you got in your feelings and you got beside yourself and you got your little plumbing done and then you then you want to run off on the plug and not pay for the plumbing that you didn't got done and so that's why he flipped strip on you because he's like listen i ain't i ain't push you down in the bed i ain't make you get in the bed you know i got a girlfriend you hops on your bike and you all with it and then the next day you wake up with a conscience what's going on now so what he's why he flipped the script because he's saying you sending mixed signals either you a classy respectable woman and you love yourself and we done or you want to play friends with benefits and be more you know let me be your block of valley and be the woman on the side so he flipped the script to blame it on you to say listen you did this too now don't don't wake up the next day holier than doubt after you even got your fix then and then coming in got you plumbing together so now you want to keep me back to the curb and then when you need some more plumbing a year later then you bring them back fall into bed again and then wake up with a conscious the next day so it's like you have to as a grown woman you got to make a decision am i in or am i am i done and you should be done because he got a new girlfriend so ask yourself if you with a man would you want his child's mother to be open sesame for him when he want her to be open sesame you would want her as a woman to respect that you that he's your boyfriend and that him and her are done and you would want her as a woman to remove herself from the equation and not be available to him so that's how you have to move in your life and do what you would want done for you even if that wasn't going to happen you don't want to be sowing bad seeds because then you're going to reap what you sow so you see what i mean so being that you hear in the q a and not him you have to look at what what you did we can't really preach at him and what he did because he's not here he ain't trying to get help he ain't trying to grow and change he gonna be who he gonna be so you have to look at and say what did i do wrong in this situation and what can i do differently going forward and so you know you can't be mad about him flipping the script now that's really you wanting to flip script so you ain't got to keep getting played into that bed uh let me see trying to see if i miss anything but why do most young men approach me like more than a decade because that's a fantasy that's a fantasy and it's a notch in the belt so a young man wanna sleep with an older woman because it's an experience you know just like if a man could a man would have variety in every area of his life so if a man could every man would have two three houses every man will have two three four cars every man will have three full watches every man will have a hundred pound shoes men we are we have a short attention span on average not every man but most of us have a short attention span and we want variety in some area or in every area that we able to have variety and so when a young man approach an older woman he could thank you pretty he could thank you beautiful but it's really because that's also another notch in the bell it's another fantasy to fulfill and it's very rarely is it genuine like oh i just really want to be with a woman that's older than me it's very rarely that would you recommend dating a man hey y'all we got 10 more minutes now would you recommend dating a man who has been divorced i'm 26 he's 31 marriage ended two and a half years ago any red flags to look out for what you want to look out for to see if he healed when you talking to him see if you hear damage see if you hear resentment towards women see if he sounds bitter see if he's bashing her too much talking bad about her too much see see what's going on there would you tony think about creating a dating site for your fan base well i thought about it but here's the thing i don't do anything just for money if i do service base my audience on youtube is 95 women so if i create a dating site the dating site will be 95 women so then i'll be doing the same thing as the rest of the dating site so that's why i don't create a dating site because i got some ideas that could make them better and kind of weed out some of the riff raff but it won't matter if it's all women you know what i mean because it just the today's man is not real man is not into online dating and even those who would get on online dating as real men if it still would just be stealing money from women until you get a lot of men enough men that'll get on there so if i was to do it i would have a enrollment period where only men can enroll for like six months and get like a thousand ten thousand men on there and then open it to the women to where women could get on there because other than that you're just gonna have pervs and creeps on them and scammers on there but real men really either in a season of solace with the lord or they know that any time they ready for a while they could walk outside and meet that woman so it's not a lot of real men that's gonna pay to be on a dating site tony winn does a man fully mature because i'm tired of these man every man different now every man different today is looking like 35 which is old for maturity but today is looking like 35 but i see a lot of men 40 45 50 still ain't mature and it's blowing my mind but we you know we working how do you pursue your goals without losing your soul in this day and age well you got to know what you're pursuing and got to make sure your goals are purpose based you got to be rooted in something for me i'm rooting in jesus christ rooted in the lord and so that's what keep me from losing my soul so we should not give your number if he is in 30s and you are 60. moderators y'all can stop working now monterey i appreciate y'all i appreciate y'all now come on now personal is that a real question not come on now but you know what that was a real question because because it's cause some some 60 year old is with number 30 old moderators let's let somebody here laugh at faces get on in here a little bit just so personal people could see what that question sound like appreciate y'all moderators you could take the night off i really appreciate y'all thank you but yeah that right there was uh precious god bless you we got six minutes now we count down uh i'm ready to get on off here now i normally do an hour hour and a half oh i did two out tonight and the light ain't got me sweating cause sometimes the light go to get me worked up so yeah definitely because i'm gonna tell you now if a 30-year-old one or sixty-year-old even a six-year-old is absolutely gorgeous he typically want her for her money for her stability you know where she at in her life met this guy been talking three weeks looked on facebook saw a girl with his initial around her neck sent him a request and he didn't accept but still wants to talk should i ask about her and her hearts um i mean you could ask about her if you put two and two together and it looks like she is for him like that's his and that's him like he friends with her they got a picture together because she she could know somebody got the same initials so you just kind of got to do a little bit more investigative digging if you added him on facebook and he didn't add you in this social media age that's always a red flag when the person you dating the person you talking to won't add you on social media that's a red flag because we are in a social media age that where social media is a part of our lives kelsey god bless you thank you so much tony i'm so grateful to you and your wife i bought your book a woman's influence and it has helped me find value and confidence in myself forever grateful god let me tell you kelsey god bless you now almost love my boy god bless you kelsey i really appreciate you because i'm glad you you got that book now y'all make sure if you read a woman's influence that you leave a review five stars if you don't think it's five-star keep that to yourself but uh god bless y'all thank you appreciate you for that um uh mama tish we ain't gonna celebrate we ain't gonna celebrate don't don't don't i don't want you counting no numbers because i don't want you in the home nobody uh to think that we care about that so we just go on another day in the park you feel me another day in the park you know how we do it appreciate the moderators now is it bad to date someone who is insecure about his job and is my age 26. no i mean it's good to be insecure by the job because that means he want more for himself that means he won't he won't better he want to go to another level so you know you gotta that's all right gave it five stars i wish i could give it more rosalie god bless you now god bless you now yeah actually i forgot the first part of you how to deal with family members putting you down cut them off don't deal with nobody putting you down don't let nobody put you down anybody don't put you down that phone down on so they can't reach you let them put that down anytime somebody put you down it's really because they jealous of you then the brown god bless you now excellent presentation as always thank you so much we got three more minutes now i'm scrolling up to see if i miss you i'm 21 i have a soul tie with him since young and we now have a son we were engaged but he cheated and we have been on and off for the past year haven't spoken in two months advice is this love nope it's not love unfortunately it's not love if that's love he won't put you through all of that especially after having a son with you a son i mean that's a man probably enjoy cause that's that's a that's a boy you could punch them in the chest you could you know flip them up in there i'll catch them or miss them and let them hit the ground and tell them to get on back up you know it's like i'm joking but i mean if the man you had this man's son and he's cheating and playing around what this is is a case of not being raised right y'all parents should have told y'all don't you be doing no dating don't you be doing no loving don't you be doing no boyfriend girlfriend being fast no you not dating nobody no you not your parents should have really been in there but a lot of time with parents they not paying attention they not in there like that we getting stuff and you don't know what you're doing so y'all was trying to love before you knew what love was before he knew who he was before he knew what he wanted before he knew what he was doing y'all hadn't created this little connection just out of curiosity curiosity killed a cat and so now that y'all older he realized this ain't where i want to be this ain't what i want i want to sow my wild oats i want to do my thing i want to live my life and you being a woman being more naturally mature you like hey if this would work i'm with it like if if we could be a family i'm with it if he could mature and be a real man i'm with it and he like i don't know what i want i don't know who i am i don't know what i'm doing i don't know where i'm going i don't know why i'm in this you know i don't know why i'm having unprotected set so a lot of times it's just a difference in maturity levels and what we thought we wanted what we thought we liked when we was younger we grow out of that and now you feeling kind of stuck because y'all did what it take to have a baby and you don't have his child and so this is where we have to you make sure you teach your son no dating no dating till you grown to you 18 and you know what love is you in college or when you get your degree you can meet your wife in college but don't be trying to do all this and we as parents have to instill in our children stop letting your children think that hey no more questions no more questions i'm just talking finish up the laugh cause this is what the parents need because you see how we is as parents this is grown people we all on here grown and look at the questions that i'm answering as adults but yet we had a nerve as parents to think is cute when our sons and daughters have boyfriend and girlfriends in the ninth grade in the eighth grade in the seventh grade it's so many boys and girls at my son's school in the ninth grade talking about they dating day in a relationship my wife showing me pictures of people in my son's school where the the girl is in a bikini jumping up on the boy and her legs wrapped around the boy and they in eighth ninth grade and they kissing in the picture and parents think that stuff cute and then the next thing you know they end up sleeping together 18 19 pregnant and don't even know what love is don't even know what a relationship is so if you got kids make sure that you teaching your kids by school work grinding focus being busy all of that right there and not allowing your teenagers to haul about i got a boyfriend i got a girlfriend and all of that stuff right though love it doug i see you just can't i said no more question i love it doug she had no more question don't y'all see no more questions especially paying for it come on i'm already done i'm a minute over i'm done come on now no more questions no more questions for those y'all just coming in lovey-dovey last one hi tony a man told me i have something i'm smart and easy on the eyes and could use my beauty as a tool if i had to what's your take he basically saying that a lot of women look like you getting bought that's essentially what he's saying that a lot of women that if all the woman got to do is be pretty and a man to give her anything she want that's that's what he's saying and for the most part that's true because a lot of men today that got money and they get a woman and they really just buying her some of the men look like um show you what some of these men look like some men look like this right here look like the bottom of the flip flop and we have them a woman that looked like she stepped out of magazine a man looked like this hell a hand sanitizer and would have a woman that looked like she stepped out of magazine and it's because he got money and that woman ain't got to do nothing but look pretty a lot of time people because my wife is beautiful they try to they think that she is with me for money but me and my wife was broke for a decade plus we was broke my wife with me for love because i ain't have nothing to offer her but love i ain't had nothing in my name but a driver license and barely had that god that's a spin of the time or two probably not paying registration or something so listen to me that's what's happening today and that's why i want women to understand you know stop using your beauty for for a man with money like stop getting bought stop stop being okay with just bags and cars on a nice house and the man treat you like crap you know he dogging y'all like don't be okay with that you know really know who you are what you want and require more than just a man having money and status in the community or a name in the world or what have you hey god bless you you right love it god bless that probably what he to back we're talking about god bless you and we'll talk soon y'all take care now i'll try to get back on here tomorrow if i can sometime but bless you

Channel: Tony Gaskins

Views: 20,716

Rating: 4.965096 out of 5

Keywords:

Id: Egb8_boj2Q4

Length: 123min 40sec (7420 seconds)

Published: Sat Sep 04 2021