r/Relationships My Girlfriend Won't Tell Me Where She Buried My Beans

welcome to r relationship advice where opi's girlfriend won't reveal where she buried the beans my parents falsely accused my brother of being a creep and it's really affecting him my brother is 15 my sister is 17 and i'm a 23 year old girl this is really stupid and it shouldn't have happened but it did now i just want advice on how to make it better also this is the story my brother told me as i wasn't there he was in his room playing on his phone minding his own business he got up to take out the trash and he came back to lay down in his bed as he was laying down he noticed their dog walking out of his room but he ignored it later on his 17 year old sister noticed that her clothes were missing she went looking for them and found them in my brother's room the problem was that it was wet and slimy she immediately told our parents and they thought the worse my dad mom and brother argued about it rude things were said apparently mom said i knew you were weird but not this weird my dad said that he raised a predator in the end my parents asked me to pick him up and let him stay with me for a couple of days when i picked him up he didn't say anything and just sat in silence he spent the entire time in the room that he was staying in he came out for dinner but he skipped breakfast and lunch his eyes were always red when he came out so i assume he was crying i've never seen him cry most of the time when he's upset he's just stone-faced so what they said must have really got to him finally at the end of the week our parents called me and they said they wanted to talk to him so they came over before they came over i tried to talk to him but he ignored me when our parents came they apologized to him over the next week they noticed more of our sister's clothes in his room until one day my dad caught the dog with my sister's clothes my brother just said okay and went home i tried to ask my parents if he could stay longer but they said that wouldn't be necessary later on i got a call from my parents asking me what he did at my house because he's just been in his room all day at their house is there anything i can do to help him feel better alright so first of all let me confirm that as a dog owner dogs absolutely will steal your clothes hugo's personal favorite is socks but in a pinch he'll go with a pair of underwear so i find it a little bit unreasonable that no one would believe op's brother that it was the dog and not him also to be honest your parents sound like kind of sucky people not only did they not give their own son the benefit of the doubt but after they genuinely believed that their son was a predator they sent him to live with his other sister so even if their logic was right then wouldn't that mean that they were putting op in danger op my advice to you is to just do your best to be a supportive sister and understand that what your parents did to him is deeply traumatizing if my parents and my younger sister pulled out on me then i don't know if i would ever trust them again for the rest of my life i admit i posted a version of this on the relationship separated the other day but they closed it with no explanation i assumed because they decided that it was fake i can see how they might think that but this is a true thing that happened and is happening and now there's more to it because i actually got broken up with over it with all that's going on me and my girlfriend had stocked up on supplies including some canned goods a few weeks ago i ordered 30 cans of beans 10 are black beans 10 are kidney beans and 10 are pink beans also i ordered 15 cans of chickpeas i thought this was a reasonable amount of beans and chickpeas to have every now and then and would last for quite some time however earlier this week i opened the cabinet because i wanted to make a vegetarian chili using two cans of beans but all the beans were gone what the hell i asked my girlfriend and she told me that she buried all the beans in the woods at first i thought she was joking but she explained no she'd buried the beans in the woods wtf i asked her to explain and she told me that she was afraid that if things get bad we might have to worry about looters or whatever and that the beans would be in danger of being stolen i said i said i thought this was completely ridiculous and unlikely she became angry at me and said that she's protecting our beings according to her logic the beans are safely buried in the woods behind our apartment complex and if we ever need the beans she'll go to the stash and dig up a can or two but would prefer if we save them all for if things get worse i said why only bury the beans why not bury our more valuable items she said the canned food was the most valuable for long-term means and that since we can get fresh food in our online grocery deliveries it would make sense to continue to stockpile beans she intends to bury more beans in the woods every week this was too insane for me and i got very upset i demanded to know where the beans were buried and she refused to tell me she said if i knew she was afraid that i'd dig them up and i said damn right i would she said i will never jeopardize the beans the following day i tried to put my foot down and i'm not usually a foot downer but there are rare issues where compromise is out of the question and i foolishly decided this was one of those issues i demanded to know where the beans were buried and i told her if she was going to bury beans that i paid for in the woods then i would move out we fought about it and i kept insisting in hindsight i should have let it go and created my own hidden stash of beans in the apartments and given her time to maybe cool down about this bean burying scenario but i blew it all out of proportion yeah it's weird to bury beans in the woods but why did i have to press it what's the harm at the end of the day in the grand scheme of things but i kept demanding her to take me to the beans or at least draw a map or something and finally she broke up with me over the beans i've lost the love of my life because i couldn't let the damn beans go i'm in disbelief she moved out not only am i heartbroken but i'm now paying full rent instead of 50 which is a huge financial issue for me down in the comments if both parties says go to arslash metal detecting and see if there's anyone in your area dm me if you're in denver i'll find those effing beans but past that op i think that you've learned an important lesson about relationships never ever tell your partner about your hidden bean stash i love my wife but i will never tell her where i buried my beans and i'll take that information to my grave my fiance's sister told me that she's in love with me and that my fiance is just settling for me my fiance nancy and i are getting married in december we've been going through a small rough patch since late june and i felt like everything was okay but we were just out of sync we've been together for two years and this has happened before and we just come out of it usually i have a very good relationship with my fiance's twin sister peggy we hung out a lot before she introduced me to her sister so i've known her longer and she's one of my best friends and is probably the person that knows me the best other than my family and nancy she and her sister also have a great relationship no resentment no anger towards each other just sisterly love saturday i received a string of messages from peggy that were telling me not to marry nancy she told me that nancy didn't love me like she should and if we got married we'd be in a loveless marriage with no passion at hugging i told her i didn't believe her she sent me screenshots of messages between her and nancy i wish i hadn't read them she said that i wasn't the love of her life that i wasn't her soulmate that i was just a good option and would be a good provider and a great dad to her kids that i was a nice guy and that any girl would be lucky to have me but he's not the one for me i asked peggy why she told me all of this and she said that she's my best friend and she loves me she said she's wanted me forever but couldn't come between me and her sister like that she said that she'd love me like a wife should that she fantasizes about being with me intimately and that i drive her crazy she asked me to leave nancy and come be with her i'm so confused i don't know what to do about anything i feel like my life's been turned completely upside down i don't know where to go from here so clearly in this situation i wouldn't believe anything peggy says i mean she might be right but we're getting some serious red flags out of her she wants to break up her own sister's marriage and steal her man op you definitely don't want to date that kind of person plus it's fairly easy to create fake text messages online the one thing that you should definitely do is confront your fiance about this if peggy is right and the text messages are real then clearly you need to end this relationship but if the text messages are a lie then obviously your fiance has a right to defend herself i'm a 33 year old guy and my 25 year old wife constantly makes a conscious effort to humiliate me during my lessons over zoom while under normal circumstances i would try to communicate my feelings to my wife but i'm at my wits in for how to handle the situation as i've exhausted all of the typical conflict resolution means being a teacher i'm currently giving lessons over zoom i recognize that studying math over zoom isn't the most exciting thing in the world for students and i can barely get them to even pretend to be interested in my lessons when we're in the classroom but they've done an admirable job of staying focused my wife is making it extremely difficult on my end though several months ago when my lessons began i went from working long hours to being at home all day unfortunately my wife doesn't seem to understand that while i'm at home and while i can occasionally help out with a chore or two i still have actual work to do between lesson prep grading and meetings my schedule is quite full the first time she interrupted my lesson she abruptly opened the door to the room where i was teaching and loudly asked me to do the dishes this was unbelievably awkward as i was in the middle of teaching three dozen tenth graders geometry i told her we would talk about it later but not being deterred she asked if this was a yes or a no i said it was a yes but i was in the middle of a lesson without a word she closed the door i got some chuckles from the students but a bit of red cheeked embarrassment was the extent of the damage the next time two days later she again barged in holding a pair of my pants that i left on the floor of our bedroom she loudly stated you need to pick up after yourself this time before responding i muted my mic and turned off my camera telling her that i was in the middle of a lesson again she walked away without a word at this point i moved my setup into the basement of the house so i could avoid further interruption since my basement looks like it probably has a few dead bodies buried in it my students have begun calling me basement dad which is endearing but i would rather teach in a room where i'm not going to get asbestos in my lungs the trouble really began when i started locking the door to prevent interruptions my wife will begin by rattling the door a few times followed by pounding on it then she'll groan loudly and say something negative about me after that i can hear her walking around the house slamming doors a few weeks ago she was literally jumping up and down stomping her feet in the room above mine in the first months of these online lessons i set up a hotkey to mute my mic and disable my camera instantly when needed and luckily my reflexes honed from counter-strike in my teens has paid off but there's been a few times when she sneaked in an embarrassing moment for me every time i patiently explain to her that i need complete quiet to teach my lesson she says yeah yeah yeah okay then in the next lesson without fail she'll find something new to complain about and throw a tantrum trying to humiliate me in front of my students while my mute game is on point students have recognized that something is wrong one of my ninth graders even sent me an email asking if everything was okay i had to make up a lame excuse about needing to mute my mic because of a sudden grinding noise that happens in my old basement there's no way she bought that since i'm unable to go out unable to even enter the school grounds and have no place to go to avoid my wife i'm unbelievably anxious when i teach i've tried talking to her calmly and i even tried to get angry at her how can i even approach this kind of problem down in the comments we have this story from sweet ragnarok i had a co-worker with a wife who was super controlling and sadly very embarrassing for him she has issues and we're aware of it as a department he's a wonderful worker and i have no complaints of his ethics but his wife can cause serious damage she calls and harasses our office lines if she can't get a hold of him if a female answers the office line she automatically accuses him of cheating with a mistress she was an absolute karen she got karma hard when the line was accidentally transferred to a board member who was also female some colorful words were said and the board member held her cards until the end revealed her role and said that due to her actions her husband can be up for suspension or corrective action she begged and stopped calling and harassing she was a stay-at-home wife whose world revolved around her husband who was already checked out with trying to stop her he did get reprimanded too but at least it was a reality check for his wife and i forgot to mention that he worked two jobs to support his wife even though he lives frugally op you need to be more stern normally i won't condone snapping back but if your wife kept doing it then it would have been a mute the mic in a cam and a wtf is wrong with you comment to her explain that you can get fired or get in trouble and being a teacher your public persona as a positive role model is a huge deal at your work that even harmless jokes and pranks can have consequences and they pay you for the hours to work at home not to do chores if she needs anything she can text you and you'll get to it on your breaker after work hours you've gotta put up a hard stern boundary since she's acting like a child it's time to scold her like one my wife gave birth to a black baby that clearly isn't mine and i'm divorcing her but i'm worried about the relationship between my two kids and their new half-sister a month ago my wife gave birth to a black baby girl we're both white so she was forced to admit that the child was the result of a one night stand last year i've started divorce proceedings although we're still living together for now between our two boys aged 2 and 4 i've had paternity tests for them and they came back positive as for my wife due to her infant daughter and her having lost her job due to kovid living together as amicably as possible until the divorce is settled is an unfortunate necessity naturally i have no ill will towards the baby and i've been disgusted by some of the comments i've heard from family members friends co-workers and others all of whom seem to be fixated on the racial angle of this as if the most salient part of this isn't that my wife cheated but that she cheated with a black man and that the baby is black what really worries me is that my two sons might pick up on the narratives they're too young to really understand what's happening now but i'm worried that as they grow to understand the situation that they might grow to resent their half-sister for breaking up their parents marriage and worse that their resentment might express itself in a racist fashion under the influence of the aforementioned racist narratives any thoughts on how i should try to influence my sons away from that perspective it probably doesn't help that we live in a suburb with very few black people and their half-sister is really the only black person my children know down in the comments i'm going to read this post from chaotic neutral hobbit i'll tell you what my dad did and you can use the info as you will he invited my little brother who was not his child along with me to stay during the weekend my brother wasn't the product of infidelity or anything he was just my half brother my stepdad's son but i didn't know for a while because my dad brought him along to the museums and the water parks and the movies etc pretty much anytime that i was at his place my little brother was too and he never complained he loved my brother so that's an option you can have the baby come with your sons occasionally make sure they're treating her okay and be an example for how to treat their sister also op while it's really sweet that you're being thoughtful of these three kids don't forget to take care of yourself as well your wife cheated on you you're going through a divorce and you found out a baby that you thought was yours actually isn't and in some locations your wife could very easily establish you as the father legally speaking which means you have to pay child support for that baby as well and since we've already established that your wife is a cheating piece of garbage then i wouldn't put that past her so between the divorce and the child support make sure that you're protected legally op and also you might want to consider tapping into your support network or maybe even going into therapy because what you're going through has to be tough that was our slash relationship advice and if you like this content then check out my podcast where i publish the exact same episodes also hit that subscribe button because i put out new reddit videos every single day

Channel: rSlash

Views: 407,523

Keywords: reddit, r/, rslash, r\, sub, subreddit, best of reddit, reddit top posts, top posts, top posts of all times, comedy, funny reddit posts, funny reddit, fails, cringe, relationshipadvice, relationship_advice, relationship advice, r/relationship_advice, relationship_advice posts, relationship, r/relationships

Id: Ri-n-pAz8g8

Length: 17min 35sec (1055 seconds)

Published: Tue Sep 29 2020