r/Relationships My Wife Got Pregnant, but... I'm Infertile!

welcome to our slash relationships where Opie is infertile but his wife gets pregnant uh-oh this is obviously an alt but on my real account I post pictures on a few makeup subs I get nice comments but I always get rude messages about how my makeup is looking disgusting and I'm ugly and makeup can't help an ugly face that I should kill myself and looking at my photo made them want to throw up I even got some scary messages saying they knew where I lived and they sent me my full name and birthday and college I go to that was really terrifying every comment of mine was also downvoted someone was doing this to me and it really hurt my feelings I tried not to take it personally because I thought they didn't even know anything about me I tried to leading and making new accounts but they always found me well my boyfriend was asleep and I saw the reddit app so I wanted to see his profile so I could stalk him I found his real account and I found a couple other accounts too he was sending me the messages and downloading everything I'd post I feel so horrified I've gone to him so many times crying about these messages especially the ones saying they knew my personal info and telling me they vomited after seeing my photos he comforted me and all that I feel so scared I don't know what to do and Alex if you find this I hate you Oh P that isn't just a red flag this is like several steps above a red flag this is like a factory that makes red flags this dude is seriously messed up and needed to run not walk out of that relationship ASAP my husband seems to have a work wife and it makes me incredibly uncomfortable he says they talk about everything she understands him so well and that it's totally normal since he spends nine hours a day with her and only three hours in the evening with me I get jealous all the time and I really hate that he's gotten to so close with another female every single argument ends up with comparing us and saying things like she wouldn't get mad at certain things I did etc last weekend they went out for drinks one to one while I was working at home I asked my husband to at least wait until I finished so I can come with but he replied with something like you won't really fit because you don't understand our jokes and can't take part in the conversation I don't want to bore you I feel like he's emotionally cheating I don't have a work husband or something because I keep it all business I can't even imagine me going out with guys from work especially one-to-one why would anyone he says I'm being insecure about it and lots of people have work spouses but I just can't get over it is it a me problem and I should do therapy or is he crossing lines update so guys he's seen this post we were talking and reading your replies until 5:00 a.m. last night he got really overwhelmed by the amount of negativity towards him and said he couldn't imagine that the majority of people would be on my side he told me that I should have also mentioned to you guys that he's got high-functioning autism and therefore lacks communication and empathy which sometimes seems like he doesn't care about other people's feelings now it's not justifying his behavior at all the problem here is when I bring something up and try to discuss it in a calm and healthy way he doesn't take it seriously he won't understand until I make a drama out of it so in his words I wasn't clear enough that their friendship bothers me and that I seemed uninterested in coming that's BS if you ask me I always make myself as clear as possible I don't speak riddles and I don't hint everything I do or say it's just straightforward autism isn't a free pass to do whatever you want and isn't an excuse for rude and inappropriate behavior after a few hours of arguing he said he realized that he was doing wrong and apologized but he still has ruined his chance of having a good female friend by comparing me to her and not letting us meet now I don't give a flip about this friendship it must be over no more going out after work he himself complains that we don't have much time together so ya better spend quality time with me I'm also going to write some strict ground rules and set boundaries because apparently those are not clear to him and if he ever pulls something stupid like this ever again will be over because I care for my mental health and I will not stay in a relationship with someone who doesn't respect me yeah Opie it sounds like you're handling this situation pretty well fundamentally your partner wasn't respecting your boundaries and as a result he wasn't respecting you he needs to get on board with your boundaries or this relationship is doomed our next reddit post is from throwaway mice for Mozilla my wife and I had been married for three years together for six she's always been one of the most amazing people I've ever met no huge fights love languages match up and were both fairly active people which has been why we've always had a really strong relationship for so long that's why this is so difficult for me we've both been doing pretty well in our careers the last few years she's in marketing and I work independently as an IT consultant allowing me to set my own hours and be pretty flexible we decided last year that we wanted to start a family her most likely keeping her job full-time and me scaling back to part-time we've been anxious but pretty excited to have our own kids long story short I was diagnosed with a zoo sperm eel last December blockage in the pipes just meant I wasn't actually producing any sperm when finishing it's curable with surgery thankfully and we finally got his scheduled this July she's got a high libido as do I so we've still been very active but there should have been no way I could have gotten her pregnant she missed her period this week I couldn't imagine that she might actually be pregnant right the babies are bottled in until they get the blockage out she took three tests though and sure enough they were all positive at first I was stunned because this shouldn't be possible she's never been unfaithful to me in the past and never given me a reason not to trust her I'm not the jealous type but I'm literally stuck the doctor said this couldn't happen and I can't believe my wife would jeopardize the future we've been so excited for over some fling when we seem to have such a great emotional and physical connection my wife's been patek she's given no indication of any guilt or worry that she may have cheated she was so excited when she first found out that I didn't express my worries then but she left for work and now I feel completely torn what if she did she looking back now there's a few tiny things that didn't seem to be an issue but now had me racking my brain for clues her job often has her taking clients out for dinner and it's not uncommon for her to get back later in the evening she's definitely had a busy last few months but that's not uncommon for a job she always wears one of the same two perfumes but she came back one night smelling completely different I remember seeing a text message on her lockscreen of just a winky face a different time but as soon it was one of her girlfriends man I don't know what to do I set up an appointment on Monday to see if there's any chance it could be mine if it is mine and I accuse her of cheating I feel like the world's biggest butthole but she's coming home in a few hours and I don't know what I'm going to say to her I can't stop thinking of these small things that may have been her cheating and I just didn't see it do I wait until the doctor appointment Monday before talking to her or do I bring up these insecurities while she's celebrating the pregnancy I'm worried I won't be able to hide what's going on then Opie posted an update first I just want to thank everyone who reached out and offered a similar story I can't believe how many people told me they're completely sterile and ended up being able to have kids anyways I took a lot of what you guys said to heart I had an ex of mine from years ago ended up cheating on me and it really left a scar for a while it wasn't until I got more involved with sports and getting in better shape that I was able to try and move on my wife and I actually met in a soccer league we were in together we've had so much trust for so long that I thought those fears had gone away it wasn't until now that I really started to feel shaken like that again but I didn't want to let my past get in the way of what could be just a huge blessing a few people really articulated the right way to communicate my feelings in a way that wasn't accusatory and respectful of my wife who's never given me a reason to doubt her it's not uncommon for her to sometimes be home late and she'll usually like to go straight to bed I didn't want to dump this on or immediately and decide to give myself a night to sleep on it I got up pretty early just being restless went for a run and cleared my mind I couldn't wait any longer I made our favorite omelets and told her I needed to talk about something you know I'm not Ashley's right she knows me well Ashley's my ex who cheated so first I apologized I apologized because I let this build up in my head for so long without talking with her about it sooner what should be a blessing has been nothing but insecurity and fear for me we talked for a while I told her how happy it made me to see her ecstatic and excited for the baby I told her how much I loved the relationship that we built together and I felt like a butthole for questioning her loyalty she'd never given me a reason not to trust her and that I still couldn't emotionally get over the thoughts of infidelity because of my ex she thanked me for telling her and she knew how hard it was for me to get over that she volunteered to have us get a paternity test right when he or she is born which made me feel a lot better at first but something still felt off I honestly don't know why something about how she was so eager to get a paternity test and almost not mad at me at all for having kept this from her normally she would have been upset that I didn't bring it up right away but there was just a weird feeling I couldn't shake for the rest of the day it seemed like she was saying all the right things but I couldn't get rid of this clawing feeling inside my head maybe I'm just being paranoid maybe there's a gut feeling that I need to listen to but I ended up going to the appointment alone as we decided it would be good to see if I still needed the surgery turns out its obstructive azoospermia I've read so many stories about people who were supposed to be infertile end up getting pregnant so I brought that up and how my wife's pregnancy was affecting me the urologist thought it would be pretty unlikely that I wouldn't need surgery to have a kid with how mine was presenting itself he mainly tried to skirt around the topic but mostly push me towards making sure she was actually pregnant being there didn't really help I feel like I just got more uncertainty she had another night being out to 8:30 last night we talked about scheduling an appointment to verify the pregnancy when she got home she seemed a little confused but then quickly agreed she promised to do it in the morning I asked how work had gone and she gave me kind of a non-committal answer about her boss pushing too much and being stressed out there's nothing huge there but she just seemed off I really couldn't put my finger on it we were still acting all lovey-dovey but something just felt wrong and I couldn't talk about it without repeating the same conversation we had Sunday I've been trying to throw myself into work to distract myself but I haven't been able to focus we have a joint checking account that will sometimes move money in and out of but really only use it for groceries or household items most we talked about it beforehand this morning she moved half of it to hers about $1,700 we don't do that she's never needed to before and I checked our healthcare portal and she made the appointment for the one time Thursday that I mentioned I was busy working on site we were supposed to go together I'm starting to go crazy how do I bring this up that isn't me just having the same conversation again I'm looking into getting a second opinion for myself but I need a litmus test from objective outsiders to know if I'm really losing it or if this seems weird to someone else and then in this absolutely epic saga opie posts a third update I'm sorry to drag you all through the worst of my insecurities I definitely channeled quite a bit of my negative thoughts into what I posted but hey that's what anonymous people are good for sometimes I guess anyways we finally sat down after she got home last night I told her everything that was going on the urologist the money the upcoming appointment I told her even with all her reassurances too many suspect things kept happening she agreed how everything looked and immediately apologized she didn't realize how much my last exes cheating was still affecting me she knew I was off going into the weekend but thought we addressed that we talked about it Sunday but I can get pretty internal with all these worries and not show them outwardly and so while she thought we were still communicating I wasn't we decided to start from the beginning and go through everything together the money was the real problem for me she agreed how inconsiderate it was where my head was at to do that without mentioning it apparently the prenatal visits are so structured that they want you to set up a payment plan with them right away and she wanted to make sure it was squared away too the appointments she offered without me prompting to call them with me tomorrow to verify that or if I really wanted we could move the money back she does get better rewards out of her so it kind of made sense we read up on obstructive azoospermia and it doesn't seem like they're often invisible force fields it seems like only the actual absence of the vas deferens actually guarantees complete infertility so it's possible for some to get through we're going to go back to the original specialist I was working with last year and hopefully get a clearer picture it turns out the appointment she made was the only time they had available so soon and figured it'd be best not to wait I told her I took off work to go with and she was relieved I could join once again she said all the right things and seems genuine about getting us on the same page after going through each thing I was just wishing I believed her a little more before she stressed out with work and when she'll have to take off but she really seemed to want to go out of her way to alleviate my concerns she even offered an open phone policy if needed we did look at the winky face tech side scene and it was just a girlfriend I declined to go through her phone right now since I don't want to be that husband this has really made me take a deeper look at what's in my past and how that still affects me today he's been thinking back to the weekend it was so hard to see in the moment how much all the uncertainty was affecting me that level of anxiety literally makes you question what around you is real I think trust but verify is the best way to put it I was just trying to verify without any of the trust is all this is all put a strain on our marriage right now but I'm feeling a bit more like we're a team again working towards easing that she thought that a non-invasive prenatal pregnancy test as soon as possible was a great idea as long as we also get some kind of counseling together I'm not big on therapy but I can probably agree that it'll most likely help I'm feeling a little better about everything thanks again to everyone who reached out and shared their own story and most of all those who helped me try to communicate fairly through all of this it's time for me to hopefully be a father update the paternity test came back initially positive for anyone that's going to see this smiley face man Opie you have got a winner with that wife I feel like a lot of people would have gotten to pensive or insulted and tried to turn into a fight but the level of understanding that she showed you was incredible I feel like any guy would feel insecure in that situation and she very quickly understood what you were going through so I'm really glad you two were able to work things out and it sounds like you've got a baby on the way so Congrats Opie that was our slash relationships and if you liked this video then let me know by hitting that like button because it really helps my channel and this video grow in the YouTube algorithm

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Views: 1,890,699

Rating: 4.9152017 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, rslash, r\, sub, subreddit, best of reddit, reddit top posts, top posts, top posts of all times, comedy, funny reddit posts, funny reddit, fails, cringe, relationshipadvice, relationship_advice, relationship advice, r/relationship_advice, relationship_advice posts, relationship, r/relationships

Id: MzyL2cGgdSc

Length: 15min 57sec (957 seconds)

Published: Sun Mar 08 2020