Rodney Dangerfield Funniest Jokes Ever On The Johnny Carson Show 1983 online video cutter com

smoking that's another one try to stop smoking that's a beauty huh well with cigarettes my wife and I we made a deal my wife and I we only smoke after sex I got the same pack now since 1975 what bothers me is my wife she's up to three packs a day [Applause] [Music] [Applause] pay the troops and my wife would I we never have sang now we can undress we can't stop laughing you know but I'll tell you what my wife does have sex she screams OH especially when I walk in on it [Music] now you can I know my wife cheats them every time I come home the parrot says quick out the window you know [Applause] my house my house that camera lucky I got my I got a dog he drives me nuts I got a dumb dog and we call him Egypt every room he leaves a pyramid my kids they don't help either you know that my kid they're smart kids I got you know but the other day I told my kid I said someday I'll have children of your own he said so were you [Applause] I got a mean kid over a mean kid he Scott's taste warm to the sidewalk and watching the birds get hernias they you mean kid big my daughter - she's no bargain either my daughter you're kidding well she's been picked up so many times she start to grow handles I [Applause] [Music] mean you kiddin her graduation book her picture is horizontal they call a Federal Express you know saying yeah when she goes for guys apart and she absolutely positively has to be them I'm a attesa trouble because they play around so young today very young I was talking to my doctor you know my doctor doctor if any boon watch it on my back where he told me last week and his obviously got six case of VD means all right now well he's estranged daughter angel over who kid I asked her my heart was strong enough to sex he told me not if I join in you know it's right but everyone wants to love love is the antigen even look of a love deep love a lifetime of deep love you know I'm looking for a shallow half hour I start stronger like Peter right out don't you have another look with them no ladies man I know that Johnny and if I got girls does the kid in showbiz is either you know a one girl told me come on over there's nobody home I went over there was nobody home this girl was no bargain either she was fat Anna thought when she wears high heels she strikes oil okay [Applause] I met her at the Macy's parade who was wearing ropes I mean she was on a Richard Simmons show jumping up and down my TV for love to stand without talking a fat girl big girl okay she was standing alone a cop total freaking up the despair was fat ugly woozy under our tree I took it to the beach they asked me what I use for bait when I took her home and WeatherBug newspapers on the floor I gave her a hickey I got fur on my mouth [Applause] and that's how ugly she won't the right trio I could make it so how are you right knee hey we got a film Flint right from your picture that's right yeah Lana what is the name of this picture thanks for being so well informed easy to a zebra what else do you see money is called easy money yeah you the star of this picture it's tough making a movie I Taylor is Rita should have been called tough buck really you got a lot of money now so making happier money don't mean I feel you got the same head what if money don't mean yes sister you know I look at the same guy you know yeah I'm changing something I'm depressed does this exit we're gonna see need any as they say sign up at all well with a movie you know I'm a baby photographer and and what I do is I will be here I'm like I try to turn over a new leaf you know I stopped drinking stop gambling stop overeating and a few other things won't go into and this I'm in withdrawal now sort of trying to stop and this clip shows me what happens when I'm a baby photographer after I've stopped all these things I'm not quite myself from here it is easy money easy money you're gonna stay still okay gonna stay still okay kid kid you got it face my nose my sympathy kid won't fit no wallet size he's very particular to surprise you marry each other all right pilot keep telling me the same thing you got to stay still all right I'll tell you one actually

Channel: TheLazyCowOnUTube

Views: 9,749,777

Rating: 4.8080754 out of 5

Keywords:

Id: cQLv7CG10B4

Length: 6min 28sec (388 seconds)

Published: Fri Apr 24 2015

Reddit Comments

[u/Teggert]

The freshest material I've heard in a long time and it's 33 years old.

[u/Viziondfc]

I got to meet Rodney Dangerfield in 1995 at a Christmas parade in Los Angeles, CA. The interaction went a little something like this (I'm 12 years old at the time)

Me: Mr Dangerfield can I have a picture with you please?

Mr Dangerfield: Get outtahere kid I don't do pictures!

He then smiled and winked at me as I turned to walk away. It was a moment that i'll remember forever because he wasn't being a jerk he was just always in persona. I'm glad that happened rather than the picture that I probably would have lost by now.

[u/Reddit-Hivemind]

I get no respect

[u/emperorOfTheUniverse]

Easy Money

6.3 out of 10. This was a movie he did between Caddyshack and Back to School. Prime Rodney years.

He 'kills it' here and is hilarious. But you here a couple or three of his jokes flop and he says as much to Carson real quick/subtle. I think that's just a testament to 1) how confident he was to try new material on Carson and 2) The shear volume of jokes Rodney would pack into a set.

[u/[deleted]]

Best rapid fire comedian of all time.

[u/ghostbackwards]

Man, I miss this guy. Easy Money, Back to School, Caddyshack...oh man his parts in Caddyshack were fucking brilliant.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cMVvTl83gWg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=phagxOal7_A

[u/diegojones4]

He was the joke king!

[u/smoothmedia]

Many years ago as part of drama class in High School, we were tasked with performing a speech AS a famous celebrity. I chose Rodney Dangerfield and printed off all of his best jokes off the internet, put on a white shirt with a red tie and delivered them back to back. My imitation of his speech was pretty crude, but the whole class and teacher were laughing so hard that after the entire class was finished performing, they asked me to go back up on stage and perform as many jokes as I had left in my printouts.

The material is INCREDIBLY good. Rodney Dangerfield was an absolute genius.

[u/RedCornSyrup]

A legend.