r/Nuclearrevenge I ATTACKED MY EX WITH 10,000 BEES!

welcome to our slash nuclear event where Opie gets her revenge with a swarm of bees so here's the necessary background I come from a family of sideline beekeepers so I've been around bees my whole life I have no problem being around creepy crawlies and bees tend to be comforting in some way for me it isn't like a pet though more like a distraction from the real life anyways I'm weird and I like bees more than people my dad is a sideline apiarist so selling honey and queen bees is his side business his main job is as an architect I started dating a junior athlete in high school two years ago he was everything I wanted when I was going through my teen fantasy phase tall blonde smelled great and he was an absolute delight to be around for the sake of the story we'll call him Harris Harris was a bit of a troubled kid I knew his parents put pressure on him but that often led to outbursts at others since I his lovely be obsessed girlfriend was there at all times I was the easiest to lash out at now I'm not a short-girl by any means but Harris like I said was tall at the time I hated to admit that I was truly afraid whenever he decided to pick on me but these events were so far and few that I ignored them because you know he was amazing we had some of the best times and he was the first and only guy I have ever passionately hugged with I'll spare you the details but I thought it was going to be a secret between me and him my honeymoon with him died a year later when he invited me to senior prom I was a sophomore at the time so I was super stoked to go I picked out a dress in everything feeling on top of everything I was a bit on the heavy side back then but not to the point it was noticeable unless I took off my clothes still dress something that isn't pants I was excited who cares about arm fat well apparently all of Harris's friends do I almost forgot that these guys and girls were athletes and I was not as soon as I caught up with them I found that they were in a total joking mood great I love jokes so Opie Harris really loves you said one of his friends I know I could act smug I grinned yeah I replied and I love him too cue a kissing interlude here his friend rolled her eyes said something about me being weirdly cute Harris Grande took a break for me to talk oh really cute like what a baby hippo she probably meant this in jest but I thought it was unusual maybe I was self-conscious or something and thought it was a fat joke I didn't laugh and I could feel my face go hot I picked up a coke earlier and I was pretty sure it was heating up in my palms true Harris said in his ever so suave voice as he wrapped his arm around me his hand traveled down the side of my dress and he squeezed my stomach Opie is my baby hippo and I saw all of it all of it excuse me you mean all of her and I'm right here regretting to have ever come here and certain more laughter here then their conversation took off and I mean it went from zero to 100 really quick he spilled the honey and told his friends all five people here about how me and him did the sexy business he said some off-putting comments about my body and the parts he wanted to touch I was trying my hardest not to cries since this could have just been a harmless joke on their part needless to say I wasn't having any of it so I excused myself not to the bathroom but home I called my dad to pick me up and not to let Harris's dad know I wasn't in the area during spring break my dad flew me and my brother a year younger 15 at the time out to Pennsylvania for vacation we went to the Hershey's chocolate factory and all and I had a chance to clear my head as far as I can remember this was the last time my dad was actually pleased with me when we returned in ten days Hera's popped in a visit at a time he knew my dad wouldn't be home my brother was as he usually was playing Minecraft on his PC in his room I thought Harris visited to apologize for the whole baby hippo thing but I was grossly mistaken he punched me in the guts I'd never been punched before up until now and it was truly horrible not only did it hurt like heck but it nearly made me puke and knocked the wind out of me at the same time he grabbed me by the shoulders and shouted at me he said that I shouldn't have left him at prom how I shouldn't have embarrassed him in front of his friends and that I should have called him when I was in Pennsylvania my brother came running down the stairs when he heard the commotion I had this urge to bend over and stay bent over so I couldn't really focus on him all I knew is that he went after Harris cursing shouting and crying I ran the other way the best I could trying to breathe first and foremost it was hard to do anything or think straight with this horrible taste in my mouth and nasal cavity like I thrown up inside my nose or something it was gross and it certainly pissed me off going for my phone was difficult since Harris had already found his way from my brother begging me not to call the cops I almost got the landline too but Harris snatched it from my hand he broke the cover took out the batteries and then proceeded to beg again this time he didn't touch me and I told him to get the heck out I cleaned up the house so my dad wouldn't see any of this this was going to be my first and last fight with Harris or so I hoped at least he didn't check the landline my brother was more injured and certainly devastated he couldn't even ask if I was okay and I took it as he knew I wasn't and only proceeded to cry he really looked up to Harris let's go about five hours ahead 10 p.m. and I'm still seething we found out my brother had sprained his wrist so we rigged up some sort of easy to remove ice thing my dad was a hard man so I knew he would get upset at first when he saw the mess we've gotten into I can't remember what my intention was whether I was going to tell him about Harris or not I knew that he would be back the day after so I had to exact my revenge right now I shut the doors windows and waited for my brother to go to sleep now come the tidy bits i shimmied into the other set of beekeeper clothes the ones my mom wore when she was around to check on the apiary I got the veil the gloves the boots you know gotta be prepared that night was particularly cold and it felt very unreal I was unpacking thousands of honeybees moving them around until I got the right number of frames all under my dad's nose and I was going to release them on a living human being we had roughly 30,000 bees per beehive and around a hundred and fifty hives like I said it was a side business and we needed honey I knew at the time that a thousand or so bee stings could kill and I wasn't planning on going to jail I was just going to make this hurt like crazy I isolated a fair number of bees between two frames with a bit of difficulty there were maybe 900 950 not all of them would sting him but I wanted to get him back for everything who punches their baby hippo rights once I had my bees in place I set the single frame in its own hive closer to home I called him and told him that I wanted to work some things out with him no violence none of that stuff I lied through my teeth telling him I won't tell my dad and that I was doing all right he showed up five minutes later and stepped up to my door the porch light was the only thing illuminating him and the rest of the place was dark I removed the frames from the hive I walked up behind him beekeeper boots squeaking on the steps frame in my hand hi Harris I said I thought it would sound cool but I was crying my voice broke voice breaking was the least of Harris's problems at the moment anyway I was holding to open frames with almost a thousand bees some of them were flying around but I was fully protected hair is not so much I swatted him with one frame and thrusted the other against his mouth hoping I could get at least a single bee between his lips a single bee sting hurts like crazy and will hurt for a while and the thing about bees is that they're part of a true hive mind a single bee dies and all bees in the area go into defensive mode stinging at whatever flesh and deter whatever attacker they can find in order to protect the hive the frame my head hair is with likely killed a few the resulting scream was insane I'd never heard him scream before I almost expected the Beast to fly away and hide in some other hive but know when bees defend they really defend it didn't help that Harris wore short sleeves and had his neck and face exposed so the bees went for that fortunately for him none of the bees went inside his mouth like I intended they weren't stupid and wouldn't do that instead they just kept stinging him I ended up falling down the stairs and scrambling into the dark looking to get away from him looking back though he was in no position to fight and I shouldn't have run but I did and I got to watch him try to fight his way through a cloud of bees I think he learned that killing one bee won't scare the swarm aftermath he didn't die he just took forever to recover and he was pockmarked by scars me I actually spent time in jail but I wasn't sentenced my dad was extremely upset at me for using bees as weapons and I'm currently in the process of working off that payment he doesn't look at me the same anymore and I feel really bad about that I wish I'd just gone to him at first man as soon as I got into the backstory about her having all the bees I knew that the would be a good story our next reddit poses from dragon flames this story isn't long but requires a tad bit of setup when I was little I lived out in the middle of nowhere and was often over my mom's friend's house where her kids babysat me when I was about 4 to 10 the kids were boy five years older than me and girl three years older they were always mean to me and gaslighted me all the time okay on to the story this happened when I was about eight to nine because we were in the middle of nowhere we had the entire woods as our playground one time they decided to go on a long walk in the woods and took me with after we'd been walking a while they decided it would be funny to push me down and run back to the house without me it took me a bit to find my way back because a potato has a better sense of direction than me but I wasn't gone long enough to warrant any worry from the adults I don't know why but that was the point I decided I was tired of being their plaything they abandoned me in the woods that was a mistake you know what the woods has a lot of poison ivy here's something I may have neglected to mention in the setup I am 100% immune to poison ivy to me it's just a regular ol plant nine year old me knew this I also knew that they weren't blessed with this for those who don't know poison ivy also grows as a vine that clings to trees and can grow quite thick about a quarter of an inch I used to stick to pry a decent sized vine from a tree they cling very well when I got back to my house I set my weapon of mass destruction aside and told them I found something cool and to come outside I lured them just far enough away from the house and said my plan into motion I started wailing them with it until they ran away they didn't realize it was poison ivy until the rash @n they screamed at their parents about what I did but their parents didn't believe them I didn't have any rash on my hands so obviously they were lying they got a huge rash and got grounded I got revenge and I scream if you think this isn't nuclear revenge then clearly you've never had poison ivy getting a full body rash of poison ivy is pure torture our next reddit post is from totes mcgoats I started working in a machine shop after I finished school with a two-year degree in machining I learned all kinds of programming techniques that could make most machines that were less than 30 years old perform moves and output measurements at parts currently in the machine to automatically perform quality control this greatly increases the quality of the parts as well as reduce waste and human error I also learned many tricks along the way to make sure that my work could not be stolen it's my first day on the machine shop floor and I immediately notice inefficiencies in all the machines in my station we had to manually perform quality control sacrificing production time while also leaving tons of room for human error due to the poor quality of measuring instruments in the shop I'm new and eager to prove I'm worth more than the original pay they offered I told my supervisor to let me spend an hour to add a line of code to a machine to demonstrate my skills I learned in school that would immediately cut scrap and waste down by a large portion without slowing production rates on the line my immediate supervisor humored me thinking I was biessing him to try and brown-nose the engineers and lead programmers so I could get brownie points or something quick backstory to note I had zero experience in a production plant and said supervisor ahead 30 years experience in the field he had a very proud attitude and genuinely worked very hard to learn what he knew he was decent to work with but when I asked questions about some of the basics on this machine like how to get to the program so I could edit it he would block my view of what he was doing and get to the end result quickly without explaining the process being new and wanting to learn I'd always ask to have him show me what he did he always refused and claimed it was his way of securing his job anyway I programmed the function into the machine in about two hours 40 minutes and when it comes time to demonstrate the process it catches a part that is out of tolerances according to the blueprints I also programmed the machine to output different messages providing instructions to whoever the operator was on ways to resolve the issue if the part couldn't be salvaged or to automatically adjust offsets on the tool that machine the feature that was found to be out of tolerances and rerun set operation and recheck said feature to ensure quality all of these functions were performed automatically without any input from an operator this is a pretty magnificent feature to have in production and my supervisor knew that the supervisor who observed the demo immediately went to report this to higher-ups who came to view the new feature I'd implemented as the next part was being produced the quality check move initiated and found that the second part was also bad and it output a message to change tools X Y & Z the managers were incredibly surprised that this was all done on an 18 year old machine and they looked to my supervisor to ask how he figured it out long story short he took the credit and was given a raise on the spot it didn't register to me that that's what happened until I went to ask if he was going to credit me for my work he said yeah but you gotta put in the time to get to where I'm at it don't matter that you did a job cuz without me you never would have known how to do your fancy programming in the first place the managers had left for the day so I couldn't fight my case right then the next day I was planning on informing the managers that I was the one who did the programming to do that the managers were also former machine shop veterans with 20-plus years in the workplace and refused to believe me not only that they basically yelled at me for trying to steal credit from someone who has worked their way up in the company and learned everything on their own and not from some school I went to the station even more pissed now where I was met by my supervisor he told me that I needed to go around to all the machines that could perform that function and added to the code I said not without a raise my code saves you guys tons and brings the bottom line to level that McDonald's qualified workers could produce infinite numbers of parts with minimal loss he said if I didn't do it I would be fired so I faked my compliance and started to change code on all the machines if you know anything about programming you know you can make something function a certain way until a certain value is met and then have it completely change afterwards this was my job security so I set the quality check up on 18 machines the first day then the remaining 30 that weekend and the managers were praising the supervisor uncontrollably for his innovation well the programs were all set to operate as normal and do quality checks like a program the original machine however I programmed the rest of the machines to keep track of a new variable they would run the self-check just fine until they reached a random number of parts produced five to five hundred depending on the production time of the parts run on each machine where it would then throw up an error code that would only be cleared with a password I had set for it if a wrong password was provided or someone just hit the enter / reset button the machine would take its largest tool in the turret and run it rapidly into the solid chuck at maximum rpms I made it so about 65 to 70 hours of production would go smoothly before my job security would kick in it took three days for the machines to hit their magic values but when they did boy oh boy was it magically satisfying the first machine to crash was making parts for the drive lines of a major motor company the crash was caused while a new operator was running the machine who I might add was only hired because the program I made let them hire clueless people into the shop and be able to still produce good parts when he tried to clear my password code the lathe started turning at 2500 rpms with a large heavy drive shaft base in the holder switched to a huge drill and ran the drill into the holder causing the tool holder to be knocked off the axis the part holder and tools to be destroyed as well as cost the company tons to get someone from the machines maintenance team out to repair it after the first glorious crash I am innocent mentioned to the supervisor you should check your coach to make sure they're working properly he went ghost white not a second after three more machines simultaneously crash in glorious fashion he starts to chew me out saying I am in huge trouble but as he starts cursing the managers are there to have him go diagnose the problems with his code the supervisor not wanting to admit he stole my work doubles down and says confidently I know what the problem is and walks off to the crash machines not a minute after they turn a corner more machines start crashing I just sit idly by and listen to the glorious sounds of my nuclear revenge playing out a few minutes later all the workers are told to stop production completely we're all kept in the shop until they can figure out the problems this is a 24 hour production facility with three shifts of workers coming in seven days a week mind you our shift is nearly over and we've all been idle for about seven hours the next shift comes in and we leave for the day I hear nothing from the shop so I just go in the next day as normal turns out they tried to fire machines back up during the night shift and 18 more machines crashed like the others the plant did a formal layoff of most the workers the next week as they were hemorrhaging money from all the damaged machines on top of labor paid without any production we filed a class-action suit against the company for unemployment lost vacation time dangerous work conditions due to the severity of the crashes etc the company went bankrupt from the lawsuits and losses in production / machine repairs the guy who took my credit was obviously fired and had an article in the paper about him sabotaging the company's production he obviously told them I was responsible for the crashes but the company found out that the code to my password program was his name they believed he did this out of spite cuz he was refused to raise the previous year and his threats to them after his last evaluation sucks to suck a Lowell edit to all the comments worried about the innocent workers they were given two months severance pay on top of being able to collect unemployment for 16 weeks the severance pay outlined by the lawsuit took into account all the benefits the employees had before getting laid off I do feel guilty that there was collateral damage however most the employees ended up with the equivalent of about six months paid vacation so there's a happy ending I honestly didn't think the company will continue to try to run these machines when all the ones that my supervisor took claim to programming were crashing that was their fault / greed trying to make money instead of fixing the problems before continuing production when are people gonna learn never try to screw over the guy who knows how to code that was our / nuclear revenge and if you like the story of the girl throwing bees on her ex-boyfriend then hit that 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Channel: rSlash

Views: 1,197,294

Rating: 4.9184666 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, rslash, r\, sub, subreddit, best of reddit, reddit top posts, top posts, top posts of all times, funniest posts, funny, comedy, funniest reddit posts, funny reddit posts, funny reddit, fails, cringe, r/nuclearrevenge, nuclearrevenge posts, nuclearrevenge, nuclearrevenge funny, nuclearrevenge sad, nuclear, revenge, prorevenge, r/prorevenge

Id: xBBViV_6NUk

Length: 23min 23sec (1403 seconds)

Published: Thu Oct 03 2019