Replacing the 'Ol Knee | Bill Engvall

after we got eliminating this show was over my knee was just shot I went to my orthopedic guy and he said I don't even know how you're standing he said there's nothing holding your knee together I said well what are we gonna do any goes well I think is we can inject it with this gel every six months but that's not gonna fix it and I said what's gonna fix it he said you need a total knee replacement so December 15th I had a total knee replacement if you had one yeah they're not fun obviously everything looked great because I'm standing in front of you right now but uh so I wake up in my hospital room and I'm my legs in this machine and it's moving around but something's weird you ever got that feeling when you know something's off but you can't figure out what it is and I'm flipping around the bed and Gil goes what's wrong with you I don't know something's weird and I flipped this way and something hits the inside of my thigh and I went oh my god I have a catheter I've never had a catheter before and they hurt and I said do I have a catheter in she goes yeah and I said how why she does we'll bill you're under sedation they don't want you pee in the bed well how long do I have to have those shields are coming to take it out today and as if on cue the door opens and in walks is 24 year old brown haired lady nurse named Christie and Christie walks in and she goes hi mr. in BO big fan not now and she was I'm gonna be the one removing your catheter Oh God and I thought dancing was a 24 year old was awkward and she then she goes I have to tell you this she goes I've never actually done this before what well go practice on a dead guy she was I understand it just feels like a little bit of pressure and I'm thinking oh god that's what the prostate guy said she walks low to the bed pulls the sheet down lifts up my gown looks down now here let me tell you this I'm on every drug known to man right now so I'm not real sure how I'm representing myself at this point in time she looks under my gown looks at me and says do you pet well she said pets yeah pencil yeah you choose me to see us what kind of pets do you have I got a dog it's just I love dogs she was what kind of dog do you have and I said is her claw marks is there something I don't know about and I looked a guy looked at Gail I said what is she doing he feels honey she's just trying to relax you I said well I'm not relaxed when a 24 year old girls looking at my junk I don't want to talk about my Australian Shepherd and by the way if you're a nurse and this is your practice that's not relaxing if you want to relax me look lift up my gown look under it and then look at me and go whoa now I relax so she starts pulling this - yeah and apparently it was touching the back of my skull because she pulled for what seemed like an hour and then I heard she was all down on my focus could this get any worse she starts to leave and she turns you know one more thing I said what she goes I can't discharge you until you have a bowel movement it just got

Channel: Bill Engvall

Views: 1,162,346

Rating: 4.9024143 out of 5

Keywords: bill engvall, comedy, stand up, Here’s Your Sign, Dancing With The Stars, The Bill Engvall Show, Deer Hunting, Colonoscopy, Stand Up, Full Show, Argentine tango, Blue Collar Comedy, Bill Engvall Bad Weiner Day, Brownies, Bathroom, Comedy, Camping, dwts, Edibles, Emma Slater, Fighter Jet, Interview, Just Sell Hims For Parts, Jury Duty, Jokes, Kidney Stone, Knee Surgery, Pot Brownie, Snake Toilet, Bill Egnvall, Bill Engvall, Bill Engval, Bill Ingvall

Id: GpqpFlyQvuk

Length: 4min 54sec (294 seconds)

Published: Wed Oct 16 2019