I Have A Small What!? | Bill Engvall

[Applause] well you know what if you've had a knee replacement you know what I'm talking about and I was I gotta be honest I was really proud of myself because it was very paint was one of the most painful things I've been through in my life and I got through it I was really proud of myself and I said you you just got through something that's probably the worst pain of your life two days later I got a kidney stone turns out I was wrong oh man I would not wish this pain on the devil himself 2:30 in the morning I'm in an emergency room crying like a little girl ripping holes in the sheets of the bed because if you've had one you know I'm caught it's like the most debilitating thing that you can go through and I'm just like look and this nurse goes well now you know it's like to go through childbirth and I said through my tears well then man y'all are stupid if this is what child birds like there'd be no kids and then they gave me a little shot of something called dilaudid why is this not in every candy section of every grocery store my brother-in-law said you went from crying like a little girl dolls I'm going so what's your name so I go to see my urologist and he goes yeah you got a kidney stone I said so what happens I just pass it and he goes well normally that's what what happened he said the bill you have a very small urethra how do you even respond to that I said well you know what doc it's kind of cold in here he's like sir that has nothing at all to do there's three things in life a man never wants to hear you kiss like a dog you throw like a girl and you have a very small urethra if I said what so what's gonna happen is what we're gonna do is a little procedure well we're gonna insert a tube up through your wiener there's four things in life a man never looks and inserting a tube in your wiener is numero uno he said what we'll do is we'll put that tube up there then we'll take the laser and we'll stick it up through it and we'll blast the stone he said you'll be sedated and I said yes I will as a matter of fact I want to be so sedated that I see that light and I want to walk into it alright so they do the procedure i they bring me out of anesthesia and I said did you get the stone and he goes bill I have never had this happen in my medical career and I'm like oh please don't tell me you lost her wedding ring up there he said no he said your urethra is so small we couldn't even get the laser up there to blast the stone he said is this for red eteri I don't know me and pops never had that chat well son you're 21 is time you learn about the involve family curse oh we've all had small urethras back to great granddaddy maxing while he toured with Ripley's Believe It or Not is what so small as I said so what happens now and he goes well we put a stint in there to spread you urethra leave it in there for two weeks we'll go back in and get the late that stone so for two weeks I have this stent hmm I go back in they put me under I come out and they go we got the stone I said thank God he said you can pull the stent out in a couple days I'm sorry what he said yeah you can just pull the stand out and I go what am I paying you to do that's like going to a restaurant what y'all have the steak and lobster [ __ ] there's the kitchen go cook it I said dude I'm a comedian I don't know how to pull a stand out he goes he will and he leaves the room and I look under the sheet and without being too graphic I have a thread hangin out of a waiter [Applause] I don't even slow [Applause]

Channel: Bill Engvall

Views: 1,833,991

Keywords: bill engvall, comedy, stand up, Here’s Your Sign, Dancing With The Stars, The Bill Engvall Show, Thunderbirds, Dorkfish, Colonoscopy, Stand Up, Jennifer Lawrence, Acupuncture, Blue Collar Comedy, Bill Engvall Bad Weiner Day, Comedy, dwts, Edibles, Emma Slater, Bill Engvall Going to the Fair, I’m Just A Guy, Just Sell Hims For Parts, Jeff Foxworthy, Jokes, Kidney Stone, Knee Surgery, NASCAR, Pot Brownie, Bill Egnvall, Bill Engvall, Bill Engval, Bill Ingvall, here's your sign

Id: o3XtH2DPqPs

Length: 5min 16sec (316 seconds)

Published: Tue Aug 27 2019