Pranking My Father | Bill Engvall

I'll tell you what my dad told me on them as they got older you know Grandma and Grandpa they couldn't get out of the house much so dad put him on this group called meals on wheels which is a wonderful organization that serves meals of senior citizens and the homebound well as grandma got older she started visiting people on other planets we didn't know existed and one day their meals on wheels lunches was late and my grandmother got so mad she called 911 plain wouldn't you have loved to have heard that phone conversation 9-1-1 what's your emergency well we're about to damn starvin if that's what the damn mergency is ma'am is there anybody dead there's gonna be two dead people if we don't get some sandwiches real quick well my father told me this story well y'all I'm a comedian you cannot hand me a loaded gun like that and not think it's not gonna go off at some point well my grandparents passed away about 15 years ago well one morning a couple years back I got up my called my house well remember this one little small town in Texas and my mom answered the phone and she goes hello and I said mrs. Engvall she said yes I said this sergeant Johnson with the Georgetown Police Department she said oh my god is everything all right I said oh yes ma'am I'm sorry everything is fine I said listen we're just clearing out our books for the end of the year and we know so we had to send our mergency vehicles out to your mother-in-law's house because she called 911 on wheels lunches being late my mother goes you need to speak to my husband I mean she threw him right under the bus there was no we're sorry we'll make it okay mister it's his mama deal with him and I said well is he home and she said well yes officer he is but he's in the shower and I said well ma'am if you could get him that'd be great well alright and she sets the phone down well you know when folks set the phone down you can still hear the conversation and I hear my mother go bill it's the police they want to talk to you about your mother and I hear my father yell from the shower my mother's dead and my sweet of the mother who never raised her voice went I know that get on the phone well now I'm about to wet my pants because I have a visual of my father dripping wet holding the towel and while the damn police call my house on Saturday morning about my husband dead for 15 years but my friends he got on that phone and he was nice as pie he goes hello and I'm trying to keep it together and I said mister Inbal he said yes I said this is sergeant Johnson with the Georgetown Police Department goes oh how are you today officer that's it well I'm doing fine thank you for asking he said what can I do for you day I said well sir I hate to bother you and your family on this beautiful Saturday I said the word is clearing out our books for the end of the year and we knows we had sent emergency vehicles out to your mother's house coz she called 911 meals on wheels look just being late and he goes officer that woman was crazy this is mommy's talking about and I said well sir that may well be but that's not our department I said listen we just got to issue the little bit of a fine and we'll get out of your hair he said what's the fine for and I said well sir we had to send a fire truck and an ambulance out there because we thought something was wrong he said oh yeah I get that he said how much is the fine I said well that depends he said on wood and I said sir do you remember what they had for lunch that day and there was a pause so I figure he's on to me you know he's gonna go bill shut up and he goes I'm sorry I said well whatever they had for lunch that day will determine on how big or little define is and he said well I've never heard of that and I said well it's something new we're trying he said well how does it work and I said well funny you should ask ice all right sir let's say they had a bowl of soup for lunch well that finds on like $10 but they've had like a meatloaf sandwich sir you ever done this your wife cooks your meatloaf on a Monday night well then that next day you cooked your cold slab of meatloaf with mustard mayonnaise pickles lettuce onions he goes oh I love them sandwiches I said well that's gonna be a little more money can you understand that he goes yeah yeah that makes sense really and this is an educated man he's not some rube from the sticks so I said so if you could think what they had for lunch that they will get this whole mess cleared up and you go on with your weekend he was boy I'm just trying to think officer because I remember what they had for lunch that day I said well maybe your wife knows and he was hey good idea he goes hey Mary what'd they have for lunch that day hell I don't know that was 15 years ago he said officer we can't marry with dad for lunch that day that was just too far back I said boy I said we really want to get this cleared up sir I said just think really hard I mean did they have a salad coz well then that's only like $15 but if they had like a turkey sandwich now sir you ever done this your wife cooks you Thanksgiving dinner well then that next day take us on that turkey with some dressing and cranberry sauce he goes all hail that's my favorite sandwich of all I said well that's gonna be a hell of a lot more money cuz I bet it is and I'm not even disguising my voice this is His only Son speaking to him such that so just search think really hard man what was it they had for lunch today we'll get this whole thing cleared up and you can go on with your weekend he goes officer he goes look I'm gonna tell you right now because I can't hear what they had for lunch that day it's just too far back he goes let me do this he said why don't I pay the larger the amounts of fine and that'll cover everything and I said sir I wish we had more folks like you in the world but you can see how that screw up our books right and he goes oh hell yeah I guess it would win it yeah I finally went dad it's me anyone go to hell [Applause]

Channel: Bill Engvall

Views: 2,232,376

Rating: 4.9015493 out of 5

Keywords: bill engvall, comedy, stand up, Here’s Your Sign, Dancing With The Stars, The Bill Engvall Show, Dorkfish, Deer Hunting, Stand Up, Full Show, Blue Collar Comedy, Brownies, Bull Riding, Birthday Suit, Comedy, Corn Dog, dwts, Edibles, Fighter Jet, Free Range Chicken, Interview, Just Sell Hims For Parts, Jury Duty, Jokes, Kidney Stone, Last Man Standing, Meals on Wheels, Pot Brownie, Them Idiots Whirled Tour, Bill Egnvall, Bill Engvall, Bill Engval, Bill Ingvall

Id: qNYe2tWg3ks

Length: 6min 45sec (405 seconds)

Published: Wed Oct 02 2019