Redditors who have taken a person's life, What's your story? r/AskReddit Reddit Stories | Top Posts

serious redditors who have taken a person's life whether accidentally or intentionally what were the circumstances and how has it affected you a 12 year old boy rode his bike in front of my car and died it has kept me up for a long time i definitely had ptsd i did a lot of drugs to compensate i didn't invest in having a good future because i didn't feel like i deserved one i still don't but now i have a family and they deserve a good future so i make an effort when my kid got to 12 i thought about it a lot she's 14 now i know the accident wasn't my fault but it still feels like it was i already had some depression before that happened and after it's been a regular battle there are days where just getting out of bed is a major victory over time the guilt and depression have lessened and i have tools to deal with them but it's still something that haunts me a car accident it happened to be a little girl decided to run across the road without looking or stopping for a moment even though it was almost 10 years ago i am still haunted by this event and only to her mother when everything is in sight so it wow i can only imagine how hard that must be to carry that load do you mind me asking what the outcome was presumably there was some sort of trial to ascertain the circumstances did you meet with her mother idk what the precedent is for those type of things whereby it was no fault of the driver and really it was not your fault it couldn't has happened to lots of people i hope you've found some way to make peace with it i'm sorry this happened a man attacked my wife i killed him we divorced i became a drunk i still am but i am functional it happened 30 years ago but i still don't sleep well was raped in prison while still remand a doctor once said to me when i was drinking you know that alcohol will trap you in the past and i laugh because the past was the only place i had ever felt happy or could ever imagine feeling happy 22 years ago i got sick and tired of being sick and tired nowadays i get to feel everything there has been some horrific tea in the last two decades but not a single thing that drinking would have improved probably not the answer you're looking for but my mom and twin sister died when i was born my sister was going to struggle they knew that she might not make it but my mom started bleeding and they couldn't stop it my oldest brother said my dad was different before i know my dad loves me but there's always this weird feeling between us oh gosh as a mom i wouldn't mind at all giving up my life for my little girl i just pray she would be happy that's all parents want for their kids i'm so sorry you have been through so much if you ever want someone to talk to my box is open i've effectively killed plenty of people as a former writer nurse i lost count after a while but i worked in a number of major trauma centers so quite a few all the evidence indicated that they were going to die but by extuba tongue pulling their breathing tube out switching off their ventilator and life-sustaining drugs i was the one who expedited their death to be honest it never seemed to bother me as much as a lot of my colleagues we often get support if we'd had a lot of deaths over a short-term period and we'd have to go through all our feelings but i'd usually end up giving them the answers they wanted to hear because they wouldn't really get that i genuinely was fine most days if you had a death you'd end up with another patient shortly after i'd support the relatives as much as i could and wouldn't want them to feel in any way rushed but my focus after they left would be on admitting and stabilizing a new patient was driving to the mall one evening a car made a left turn crossing my lanes causing me to t-bone them teenage boy in their passenger seat and my girlfriend in my passenger seat both passed away this was almost 20 years ago i've since married and i have two sons and mostly i'm just numb it's not that i don't care about things but i don't experience true happiness all that much and just have an ambivalence i never had before that day i've moved in most ways but my emotional range has never really recovered my best friend killed his neighbor's two-years-old daughter he was driving past her house towards us and she ran into the road after a cat he never returned in fact he just got removal men to empty the house for him and only saw the neighbor at the inquest he was cleared of blame the car was in perfect condition he was sober and only doing 12 miles per hour he never spoke to the parents it haunts him to this day because he knew the little girl so well he just can't bring himself to speak to them it was 18 years ago and we never ever bring it up i've taken a life more than once i was in the marine corp and have seen and done hard things but the hardest life was of my 14 year daughter she had been in a coma for two weeks after a battle with cancer we knew she won't wake up looking over to the dr tears in my eyes and giving that nod to say removal life support was the hardest thing i've ever done i don't know if it counts as taking a life but i do feel responsible i was in fifth grade and visiting my grandfather there was no one in the house but us he started having a stroke or a heart attack and he was reaching towards me because the home phone was near me i just froze and watched him die hours later i didn't even call the police or my parents i've come to be very anxious when i see an elderly person and i try to avoid them which has damaged the relationship between me and my grandparents that are still alive i'm also a bit anxious when i'm in a house alone with one person my boyfriend has been wanting me to move in with him but i prefer living at my parents house with my parents and siblings i'm a nurse and my preferred specialty is hospice the medications for pain relief we give also slow respiration and aid in the body's natural process of death so by giving these i essentially take a life as a hospice nurse i have also been bedside for people who do not want these medications nine times out of ten i feel relieved giving these medications and helping it along because death is a painful process i feel that it is a way i can care for them and send them off loved and comfortable so i do not feel guilt at all i ran over to 11 year old boy driving a go-kart in the subdivision and i was in a big work truck it didn't kill him but he had severe brain damage because of the huge hole i put in his head i was 23 and i still think about that kid much love to everyone my father was in the military i'm not really sure how many people he killed if any but it's been hard for him regardless he is out of the military now i'm not sure why or when he left because i was a small child then and i can still tell it's affecting him he never talks about his service never talks about his friends the places he was stationed nothing the only reason i even know he was there is because of the pictures all i know is that when he gets drunk he gets in a really bad mood sometimes talking about suicide and such i'm only 15 so it's hard seeing that from him but i hope he gets better sometime or another i hope you do as well best friend and i got into a fight over a girl i ended up pushing him down a set of stairs told him i didn't care we went our separate ways he went home was dead in the morning from internal bleeding we were both angry [ __ ] so people just assumed he'd been on the wrong end of a fight it hurt me the day he died in my pin code for everything anytime i need to pick a date or four digit number it's that one i'll remember it till the day i go part of why i hate myself so much at this point we were both stupid kids and he was jealous because his girlfriend called me cute he pulled his knife eye i pulled mine out i got him in the leg and ran i hit his artery and he bled out the courts and witnesses wrote it off for self-defense and i had no further consequences legally to their family i will always be spoken of as the girl who murdered their son i don't live there anymore because that toxicity spread like wildfire and was suffocating i once was driving home from school there was a cardboard box in the middle of the street i was looking at it and questioning myself to hit it or not i was like 18. in the last moment i didn't and passed it looked in the rear mirror and a child hoped from under it i parked cried for 15 minutes that i almost killed someone it was scary till this day i never leave anything out in the street without checking omg this happened to me as well i was probably 16 stroke 17 years boxing road i didn't even think about hitting it though went around and in rear view mirror saw kid get out of it never seen anything like it again but always swore if i ever did i'd stop and make sure just in case it's been almost three years now but i still believe i killed my second husband i brought the flu home from work he had a weakened immune system from years of problem drinking i got better his liver shut down he went to the aiku but everything started going fast technically he died of sepsis due to the flu i was also the one who had to decide to take him off the ventilator he was already gone i could tell from his face and his eyes it took two minutes when they turned off the machines everyone says it's not my fault but i brought the flu home i'm the reason he got sick i took him off life support survivor's guilt sucks [Music] not quite the same thing our third child was stillborn full term i was having exception in just a few hours i thought my water had broke but it was all blood husband rushed me to the er she was gone i screamed a lot spontaneous complete placental abruption i spent house holding her she was beautiful and looked completely healthy wishing that she would just wake up so much guilt i had many tests done and they all came back saying there was nothing i could have done differently but still that's my one job keep the babies safe and i couldn't colon stroke i'm a doctor when i was in residency i did a procedure on a patient in the aiku that perforated their bowels and they ended up dying she had been intubated on presses for over a month and was never going to wake up but there was definitely the nail in the coffin i've since had multiple patients who have died and so i wonder if i could have done something differently and do feel responsible ultimately because i was in charge of making them better the bad outcomes have really haunted me i've had panic attacks out of nowhere it has taken years of therapy to be okay i did some hospice med management for the overnight shift i did the whole morphine every hour to help ease suffering and guide them to a pain-free death they never explained to me what exactly i was doing after i helped this wonderful wizard of a man i did some research really interesting to find out what i was doing my mom had to do this for my grandma she never wanted to die in a hospital and my mom brought her home hospice nurses came every day but they gave my mom 3-4 different drugs to give to my grandma it was a few day process it was incredibly exhausting for my mom the last 24 hours she was giving medication every hour just so my grandma wasn't moaning in pain the last thing she said was i love you to me i'll never forget that i was 19. first apartment i had been moved in a few days and my roommates had gone out of town for the weekend i had just bought a shotgun at a porn shop because the neighborhood was pretty rough i wake up around 2 30 am to the front door being kicked in i jumped up grabbed the gun and looked down the hall i see a guy walk into the living room my room was straight to the back from the door i yelled to get the hell out because i had a gun he turned raised a pistol i just started shooting as fast as i could pump it fired five rounds and hit him with two or three before he got out the door and took off neighbor heard the shots and called 911. police followed the blood trail into a backyard about a block away he died on the way to the hospital apparently was high as hell on meth when he broke in it bothered me for a long time but at the end of the day in my eyes it was a more me hope to never be in a situation like that again i had a real close friend kind of a fat guy long story short at that time we were both getting high he overdosed on me i dragged him out of the driver's seat and put him in the passenger seat and drove to the hospital i helped the paramedics get him inside then i took off the next morning my house got raided and i was charged with murder 14 days later at the preliminary exam the charges were dropped people still think i murdered him and a lot of people hate me for it because he was a really great guy probably not exactly what you're looking for but in the military i'd taken several lives it was easy to just put it aside more or less at first but eventually i started to really think about what i'd done i was always prone to depression and anxiety as a result of my pubert childhood and this definitely did not help i've had several fairly extreme mental breakdowns since i returned to the states i'm not going to go into detail but i'm an american military combat veteran i've killed my enemies in the line of duty and honestly don't feel much emotion and rarely display it i have ptsd but don't collect any disability even though i know i should i'm surprised i haven't read or at least found any other veterans admitting this it makes me more worried about my fellow marines soldiers that hold this inside i suppose i'm one of them as well i know from what i've done i have a short leash to holding my anger on petty issues people piss me off every day complaining about the most minor [ __ ] on a side note i'm happily married and have the coolest four-year-old son to everyone that has posted their experience i hope you all cope well i don't know if he died or not but a homeless man leapt in front of my car in the middle of a busy street during the height of summer years ago i mean literally a flying leap in front of my car doing a decent 40 miles per hour i called an ambulance for him and to my shame locked my car doors and stayed in my car while i waited for the ambulance to arrive there was a lot of blood and he was yelling words but i couldn't really hear them if that makes sense it seemed like more blood than a human could have in their body i didn't look at the state of him they asked what happened loaded him up in the ambulance all strapped in and i swear swaddled thomas still don't know what that was about and i never saw him again i don't think about it too much even if he did die it wasn't my choice i was going the speed limit and in the far left lane for an upcoming left turn he came out of an alley and i wouldn't have been able to see him in time based on the geometry of the nearby buildings i don't hold any guilt over it except that i didn't try to render aid this was before i was even in college so i knew next to nothing but still could have tried to help it now i was hit by a car around the age of 13 or so i can't remember i went back to school to get my bike after my dad picked me up uphill is a [ __ ] anyway i was walking and look down both ways if i can remember correctly all of a sudden a car came speeding down and before i could see it the sky was the only thing i saw luckily i knew how to tuck and roll and escaped with minor injuries but in pain and limping the lady driving the car didn't help me and made me get in her car when i got and i looked to my right and i see her daughter about four years old in a car seat with burns all over her body she drove me to an abandoned college and i swore she was gonna dump my body in a large dumpster full of furniture and whatnot luckily someone saw and called the cops so i was saved i thought i was gonna die that day when i was 14 my uncle dad's friend was having a hard time with his marriage his wife cheated on him daily she didn't treat him right it's a long story she was a bad person i don't know why but i blame myself mostly her anyways so one night he comes over and asks us kids to show him facebook back then i didn't understand what was happening he was losing his mind trying to search and look her profile up tried to figure out something we didn't fully know then it got to a point where something came over him a realization of some kind i remember him being sad paralyzed in fear and disbelief he left soon after he took his life that night and i found out the following morning with my best friend over i never told my parents my siblings and i never talked about it i just feel responsible in a way i know i'm not but this feeling of i shouldn't have let him leave comes over me all the time r.i.p erin zedd i was driving on the highway on the far right lane going about 80 miles per hour when the car next to me decided to go switch into my lane without checking his blind spot i tried to brake suddenly once i realized what was happening but the other driver still managed to smash his nose of his car sharply into my left side this caused me to shift drastically to the right barreling towards the shoulder where unfortunately there was a car pulled over due to a flat tire with a 17 year old inside the driver's seat i slammed on the brakes as hard as i could but that didn't stop me from plowing into the stalled car i somehow lived and spent a few weeks in the hospital recovering from some broken bones and a punctured lung the teenager was apparently killed on impact from what the first responders told me i fell into a deep depression for a few years and had huge survivors guilt what if i was running 10 minutes later what if i just stayed in the middle lane instead i battled it by going to therapy using meditation and time it's been nine years and i'm still not fully who i was before the accident but i've come a long way from the mental mess i was and the demons i battled anytime i go on the interstate i am always sure to just stay in the middle lane and to never drive near the shoulder my older sister plus minus 21 tip was driving my friend back home top 11 yo and i went with her while she backed out of the driveway she ran over an old lady on visiting her kids from greece my sister thought she ran over a garbage can the truth is i saw the woman the light in the street wasn't working she was in all black and no reflection bands i wasn't in the mood to be screamed at and treated like crap so i didn't told her there was someone crossing the street it's been plus 17 years and i still feel extremely bad for not telling her the lady ended up dying from complications a few months later the lady's family moved a few months after her death they were second or third neighbor [Music] [Applause] [Music] you

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Id: oa4BDgZDvc8

Length: 21min 25sec (1285 seconds)

Published: Thu Sep 10 2020