Professors, What's The Dumbest Thing A Student Has Done? (r/AskReddit)

college professors of reddit what is the dumbest thing a student has said or done when we have you turn papers into an online anti-cheating software don't buy the paper from a previous student on those know sharing sites I promise you it's in the database one of those sites claimed my paper had too many similarities to three other papers in the professor got insanely confused it was a group project where everyone wrote the introduction methods materials and data sections together and then we wrote our own discussion and results it took her a disturbingly long time to figure out why the whole class was cheating in groups of four stay here my favorite was a student who came up to the professor after class and asked if he could take the quiz a day late because it was on arm day and his arms would be too tired to write not me but my aunt has taught college and high school level history courses she once assigned a paper on something to do with the role of rhetoric in the Roman Empire I don't remember the exact wording of her assignment but it was something to this effect a student completely and entirely missing the point of the assignment and possibly of the English language in general spun an elaborate paper of the fictional life and military and political career of a Roman soldier named rhetoric my aunt still has the paper somewhere it's a hoot the world needs to read that paper find it at all costs stay for a glassblowing class my university has so my school is very stem focused like 70% engineering majors so there isn't a lot of artistic talent among us but some people are really bad so I had one guy who was struggling and no matter what I did he just wasn't getting it his pieces were generally very small sloppy asymmetrical etc so for his final he hands in this beautiful vars cool colors symmetric nice size and weight well the professor was looking it over and giving her compliments except one problem she had made it a few days before and it went missing from the shelf will we put pieces while we wait for people to pick them up so the guy tries to turn in a piece made by the actual professor I overheard two students have the following conversation student one isn't it awesome we get to live right by the ocean student - that's not an ocean one but it has a beach if it's not the ocean what is it - I don't know I work in Chicago I went to a college that is on Lake Ontario which is the lake that is in between New York and Canada I've heard a few different students seriously refer to it as the Atlantic Ocean and wondering why it wasn't as salty that far inland college course students are asked to estimate the date on which Atilla took over Europe it wasn't a history class the goal was showing that people's estimates are influenced by those other people around them except that the first girl said 6,000 when the professor said 6,000 6,000 what she replied ad she's not wrong yet we were having a lecture for a course about cultural awareness the lecturer asks any questions one guy raises his hand and asks is the Murray River brown because Aborigines bathe in it if mean if you wanted to play it straight you could argue that a high-traffic river would be naturally cloudier than one that experienced fewer usage not me but a colleague two students came to see him during office hrs with a complaint your exams discriminate against students who can't think he swears that's a direct quote I think they must have meant to say something like can't think under pressure but that's not how it came out out of morbid curiosity he asked them what their major was answer we're both pre-med yeah you might want to rethink that plan kids i was in an american foreign policy class and on the first day of class the professor asks what is the capital of Canada after a couple of incorrect guesses at Toronto and Montreal one girl blurts out Albuquerque the professor looks at her and says Albuquerque as in Albuquerque New Mexico he got a good kick out of it and on every test the rest of the semester there was a multiple-choice question asking for the capital of Canada with Albuquerque as one of the choices similar thing happened to me in a presentation in my Japanese class I read a hiragana character wrong and accidentally said I was a noodle the prof called me noodle for the rest of the semester 20 years have gone by and the only thing I remember how to say in Japanese is I am a noodle word-for-word freaking copying of an assignment even down to the other guys student number spelling mistakes and format not a professor but a gradual T here we gave an exam question where the students had to explain the difference between wild boars and domesticated pigs and how those trays reflect current theories of domestication more than one student referred to the boars tusks as horns but one particular student wrote the whole answer about how pigs lost their antlers due to domestication Pig Dauntless as a note I double-checked and he was a native English speaker too so this was not an issue of translation oh dear I was at a in a college psychology class and one of the papers asked how would you explain emotions to an alien from another planet who didn't have any some kids answer was how he'd explain emotions to a Chinese person I was at a final one time and the professor was counting the students he then said I printed off exactly enough tests but there appears to be one more student than test so if you're here and have never seen my face please leave someone got up and left we are all very confused what that dude was thinking this was an 8 a.m. chemistry final on a Saturday not so much stupid as much as it was goddamned hilarious my wife and I both professors were crossing the quad after a meeting a very frantic girl runs across campus yelling into the phone just delete the really naked ones it's my go to ridiculous student story and I never even knew her name as opposed to slightly naked here's a story from one of my husband's colleagues after an exam a student told the professor I didn't know the answers to the essay questions so I made up my own essay questions and answered them the professor replied that's the stupidest thing I ever heard and when I go to lunch I'm going to tell all my friends copy pasted the first sentence from Wikipedia as his full essay in one of my English classes we had to write a paper about an event that occurred on our birthday or a biography on someone that shares our birthday one kid copied the entire Wikipedia page on his topic pictures titles the sidebar with the different languages and the references but didn't even edit it before he turned it in I was a college lab TA for many years and we used to actually keep a running log of all the stupid stuff students would do my favorite to this day student T a my thermometer isn't working can you please take a look me walk over and look at the setup try not to burst out laughing that's a pipette student not a thermometer he literally forgot what a thermometer looks like we were doing color illumination and a student called me over to see if she was looking at the right thing in the microscope one she didn't have a slide on the stage to focus on two she didn't have the light source turned on three she didn't have the microscope plugged in yet I had a student come to office hours to contest his exam grade specifically the short essays him I just don't think it's fair I lost points here I'm being punished for not knowing the right answer me that's the point of an exam in the first semester I ever taught freshman composition I had a student who came to my office hours drunk submitted a formal essay with a cover page that had his name and the course information written on it and different magic markers and submitted another formal essay printed on five pages of fan-fold tractor feed printer paper with the tractor guide still attached the page is not separated from each other and with a staple in the upper left corner think about that for a moment you can guess grade I was a gradual TAFE or an architectural history class last semester and this one lovely student who got a two-stroke 100 on his final exam yes he read that correctly informed me all the professor rather that this class was way too freakin hard and you expect way too freakin much of us I obviously failed this class so Frick um see you next semester this was his written answer to the last essay question in a class that he is required to take as an architecture major with the only professor that teaches it I'm just at a but a surprising amount of students and labs like to turn in lab reports that their friends who already took the lab wrote in a previous semester and I mean they received the lab report from their friend and then turn it in without even changing the name of date at the top of the paper it happens every semester without fail I had at a once read a student's lab report out loud because the student had literally typed random words in it assuming no one would read it to grade biology professor here I had a student give a presentation on genetics only it wasn't so much genetics but a compilation of neo-nazi websites saying that Hitler was right for purifying the gene pool had to shut that crap down real quick not a professor but this was when I was in grad school grad school student in back of class can you get into social personality disorder from a sneeze teacher what student my friend is really mean sometimes and acts like lists off random symptoms of antisocial which we'd been discussing that day and he sneezed on me I mean do I go to the doctor and get a shot crickets how did this girl get into grad school no sweetie number you cannot get a non-communicable mental health disorder from a goddamn sneeze I'm a paramedic I have had more than one patient who thought their diabetes was a sexually transmitted disease I teach English at a private Christian College while discussing the weight of glory by CS Lewis we broached the topic of Abraham's bosom as shown in the story of the rich man in Lazar I say to the class being mature what is a bosom dead silence from the back of the classroom I hear a voice a but now I try not to mock my students for any reason but I couldn't help but laugh after I collect myself I say no it's not about after Lazarus died he did not go to Abraham's but after class he told me that the passage in question made a lot more sense to him now I had to explain to some people for a group project what the word bosom meant I said chestal area but they heard me say chestal area like a disease I teach voice lessons one of the course requirements is to attend concerts we all have various ways that we audit actual attendance in my first year I made them write concert reports as well as bring me a program or ticket or some such one student who was always a little scattered turned in a concert paper for a concert called the annual Chancellor's concert as I read his paper it quickly became apparent that he had not attended the concert but rather had looked up the concert program online and attempted to write something relevant this was apparent because the program he was writing about had occurred some five years earlier and not on the concert that he was claiming to have attended apparently the implications of the word annual was lost on him oh let me count the ways I had a student misses midterm exam because and I quote I got fired from my band and I was too bummed out to come to school I had another adult student 35 who pitched a fit during a meeting of students and teachers to figure out times for private lessons because he claimed we were disorganized I got him calmed down enough to resume the shed Yuling and then he went off again ending with if this had been the Marines someone would have been shot by now then there was the student who thought he was too cool for school and used to wear mirrored sunglasses all the time as an in-class etc one Monday he didn't show up to class and it turned out that over the weekend he'd been at a party where there was alcohol and it got raided by the cops since he was underaged he tried to run for it but since he was wearing his shades and it was at night ear and face first into a fence instead some kid gave a speech on why weed should be legalized and only used quotes from Snoop Dogg I'm not a professor but one of my professors told us this funny story he was teaching one of the basic level literature classes a class that only exists for students to fulfill the core curriculum requirements so of course the class is full of students who don't care about interpreting literature there was a group of students in the back all friends all frat bro types business majors after the final exam one of those guys emailed the professor and said why did I get a D on the final I copied off my friend next to me and who gave him a C that's bull crap my professor was shocked because our school has a no-tolerance rule anyone found guilty of plagiarism gets expelled he decided to ignore the email because he was so indifferent to that student Rho that's an impressive act of kindness and a completely blown opportunity to screw with a student obligatory not a professor goes here okay anyway I was actually pretty solid bras with one of the professors in my major a guy who had been teaching at the college for nearly 40 years he was an oddball who everyone thought wasn't the sharpest bulb in the sky and he'd tell me stories about dumb kids who tried to pull a fast one on him the best one actually came with evidence a note on yellowed paper he'd kept from 1985 it was a piece torn off from something like a white paper bag with ballpoint writing and all it said was hello dr. Morningstar I am The Doctor of Chris last name redacted he will not be in class today because he had a headache I have prescribed him a medicinal herb and have told him to listen to music he will be doing that instead signed dr. angry squiggle he said it was the dumbest thing anyone had ever done because the handwriting was easily recognized as the students he did let this kid off the hook though because he'd been through the sixties so you know whatever we almost framed that for his retirement wasn't the sharpest bulb in the sky well that's a new one not a professor but was in the class okay the course I was taking was intro to human evolution covered the science of evolution the history of discoveries of our relatives in the Homo genus the chain of evolution that near the end result of and how scientists classify animals et Cie etc it was a fun class anyway the class was your standard once a week lecture with a once a week lab section with at a it also had an online component through one of those courseware software packages that we'd use to turn in stuff online and take quizzes and see the syllabus there was also a chat room on the courses page that's important one week the professor was out of town for a speaking engagement so she arranged to have us watch a video in lecture to write her precis about it sort of a short summary relating the contents of the video to the section of the course we were in and turn it in easy well someone found a copy of the movie on YouTube or something watched it wrote his play see ahead of time so he wouldn't have to go to class he sent his precis to his friend who then posted a link to it and to the video on the courseware chat room in a class of about 200 students 180 or so didn't show up for the day of the video I was not one of them they had all watched the YouTube video and or used the guy's precis to write their own and turned it in some people just straight copied the guy's Bracy and modified some words according to might a a couple of people didn't even go that far and just slapped their name on the top the best part about the whole thing not only was this this was all arranged and talked about on the chat room on the courseware website at the professor and the TAS regularly read and participated in to answer questions and whatnot the YouTube video that this all started with was the wrong movie it had a similar title but it was part of a series and they had all watched and written about or copied words written about the wrong movie so those of us who did the assignment properly got automatic as and extra credit people who watched the YouTube video and wrote their own thing got DS people who copied the original price he failed the assignment and were to the Dean of Students for academic dishonesty now I lied this is the best part a month and a half later the professor had scheduled the same thing movie in class precis about five people in the course did the same fricking thing and again coordinated it in the classroom chat they found the wrong video copied another person's work they were expelled Creative Writing day one professor I want everyone to say your name major and favorite author this is the only time I will tell you to lie in class if you don't have a favorite author make one up student I'm so-and-so I'm an education major I don't have a favorite author because I don't like to read there were actually two students with that exact same answer same major - I worked as an English tafe for adult high school classes at a community college I was asked did the Goths who sacked Rome wear black and how did Shakespeare write Julius Caesar if Caesar died before Shakespeare was born the most concerning however was the responses to an open book test Q named three elements a fire water and air I was told that writing motherfrakker this isn't pokiman on the test would be frowned upon by administration earth heart captain planet math class for non-science majors there were a total of 25 students in the class I was planning on cheating on all of your tests and quizzes but now I'm pretty sure you would catch me I'm not a professor but as a university student I showed up for an English class a bit early where one of the students was having an impromptu meeting with the prof about the required reading for the course this was still early in the course I'll never forget her holding the syllabus up to the professor and saying but do we actually have to read these books he the professor just said that's supposed to be the fun part which was a pretty diplomatic response I would have been a bit more incredulous I don't know what she was expecting in a university English class you have been visited by the Pope dog ow comment four times and he will bless you with lots of good luck if you are new to the channel you can subscribe I publish new videos every day until then check another video or don't either way have a great day you magnificent people [Music]

Channel: On Tap Studios

Views: 109,287

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Keywords: #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, sub, reddit cringe, memes, comment awards, dankify, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, chill, story, stories, reddit on tap, reddit school stories, reddit school, teachers share, teachers of reddit, college, high school, school stories

Id: DqcokHCIotU

Length: 19min 41sec (1181 seconds)

Published: Fri Nov 22 2019