Prison Guards, What Is The Most Extreme Thing You've Seen?

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prison guards over dick what did the most extreme thing you ever saw happen in your prison okay so in my prison there is an area next to the nurse's station where inmates suspected of being suicidal or having a meltdown are kept like a special observation area where med staff is close by one valentine's day i was on that post and the nurse on duty was a pretty decent looking woman in her late 20s early 30s we'll call her jennifer while i was doing the round she comes running out of the special observation area i tried to ask her what was wrong but she just runs past me into the bathroom it turns out an inmate had taken his poo and written jennifer be my valentine with a big heart around it on the window of his cell that's my name and i'm so uncomfortable right now nurse at a women's prison for a year or so inmate cut in line for her bunks microwave and put her ramen in she got that microwave to the face about 30 seconds later had a psych inmate who chronically swallowed things forks batteries hair barrettes razor blades they were allowed to shave their legs well after that incident she didn't get to anymore more fake seizures than i can even count which isn't extreme i guess but incredibly annoying most of the prison was bunk houses similar to what you see in oitnb but some of our older areas did have actual cells had an inmate not come out for like two weeks cells were open for gen pop they were supposed to come and go and go to their jobs and group meetings and the like after so long we have to do an extraction where the guards suit up in gear it was my first extraction i was on hand because they may use fox spray i laughed at first because she was like an 80-pound philippine woman against four dudes and two women in near riot gear and fox spray then my jaw dropped because she took them on and nearly freaking won my eye is still water thinking about it because a fox spray definitely hit all of us to some extent i've never flushed more eyeballs in my life had an inmate keep coming in with yeast infections to sick call she kept denying physical activity or anything that could be the cause finally got the truth of it she had made a corn cob out of jolly rancher candies it took a lot of education to get her to understand that sugar in the snatch is a no-go i used to visit jail once a week with my golden retriever cooper who's a therapy dog any normal day i was asked for cigarette sort to smuggle something in my next visit as i was never searched or walked through a medical detector upon entry don't worry i never did anyways my last visit there was around lunchtime i entered a cell with five six inmates who were south side los angeles gang members inmates always made the craziest concoctions of sources each gang had their own recipe of sources and my dog bolted for a glob of their sauce that was on the ground after he ate it the whole cell erupted saying cooper is south side cooper is south side that chant spread to the rest of the cells on that row and then to the rest of the seven levels of cell rose 150 inmates the jail went into riot prevention and a lockdown ensued cooper was then listed as a gang-affiliated citizen and we were no longer allowed to visit all right so i was looking for a job some years back any job i ended up catching on as a teacher in a youth prison basically this place was populated by all boys age 14 16 i think something like that my job was as computer lab administrator where they took pre-get and other computerized tests there were some other teachers there as well that taught other classes i was a staff member of the school portion of the institution team yes but still a prison i had to be searched to enter the premises phone had to stay in the car etc so i went through the general prison guard training for two weeks at another prison self-defense training the whole nine yards i went through that with newly hired guards for the state prison etc i start my stint at the youth facility and everything is going okay we're outside the fence on lunch smoking cigarettes and one of the actual guards tells me there are two or three new students coming that day and asked me if i wanted to watch what i said watch what he explained that when they first arrive they shave their head and strip them down naked and really embarrass them this place was a military boot camp style facility the more he describes this process i just get sick to my stomach it was at this point that i recognized that while corrections may be a necessary part of our society it is one that is certainly not for me for a variety of reasons i ended up leaving the job a few days later not me but my dad who was a warden for years dad opened up a prison that was developed by a for-profit incarceration company and it was quite the crap show when my dad was brought on even the construction had problems things like you could see from the men's showers directly into the women's showers and vice versa he had entirely new staff new to corrections fresh out of the academy besides him and his second anyway the week the facility opened i.e the week they got inmates dad's second comes into his office you've got to see this tom see what i'm busy bob you really have to come down and see this dad goes down to the block and inmates aren't exactly rioting but they are all out of their cells refusing to follow orders talking crap getting worked up and dad's green staff is cowering in the control room 300 inmates are pressing into the doors getting loud and rowdy my dad looks at the situation his staff his second says stay on my six and wades in all the instigators are at the front of this crowd but dad doesn't engage them at all he elbows his way through goes straight to the back where there are inmates who don't really give a crap but like to watch the ruckus the leaders of the proto riot are stuck on the other side of the crowd and my dad starts shouting commands what are you doing out of your cell when we are on lockdown get back to yourself a roll call etc etc people at the back start to disperse and that gains momentum until it's just the few instigators and now you can deal with the handful left plus they lost all their supporters my dad is either really brave or really stupid but prison stories are still my favorite they definitely don't teach that you gotta have a ton of experience to know that freaking badass i work in a hospital near a prison these guys will gash their squats from dongda gooch for a trip out to see us and they'll do it in teams been happening for years bunch of guys firearms with their self-bloodied goodies hanging out cells get tossed more often over there now because they're not a huge hospital and they do it in the middle of the night which can really tire power a staff which makes other patients wait or causes us to go on divert status dispatch diverts aims to other hospitals because our air resources are tied up for a brief time anyway about two weeks ago one of these guys got an extended stay with us due to sepsis after his wound became infected since i worker and aiku i was able to follow his case scrotal edema is pretty common in the aiku due to large amounts of iv fluid and the way patients are positioned in the bed this guy's balls would not heal the wound just festered and wept in star ink he eventually had to have surgery to remove a bunch of necrotic tissue inside and out from scratch gulch thigh and part of one butt cheek almost died and he really just carried himself like a regular guy through his entire stay you said to work as a prison guard in japan in 88 some tall but foreign looking kid just barges in and demands to stay in a cell even though he didn't commit a single crime odd but i wasn't trying to get into a scuffle with that beast of a bod fast forward a day and i see this kid with a magazine snacks and a beer can he just casually cracks open while his cell mates care and fear odd this was alongside his milf father mom just watching over right after getting shot on by her kid but this is where it gets interesting though my gun just suddenly flies out of my pocket and into his hands where he proceeds to shoot himself and the freaking bullet stops in its place mid-air at that point i just wanted him out but thankfully his british looking grandpa and some arab man in a robe came to escort him out most bizarre day of my life how bizarre i've got lots but i will start with just one my facility had several cell configurations this happened in a 24-man tank there was one inmate that repeatedly stole from the other inmates and was caught red-handed he was about to get his butt beat when one inmate stepped in to defend him he reasoned that since all the stolen items had been recovered that the thief should be cut some slack the rest of the tank went along with it but decided that if he was caught again that the inmate who defended him would have to take care of it himself inevitably he stole again within a week the inmate used a broomstick to break both of his hands and beat him across the face so hard that he broke his nose both cheekbones his jaw the orbits of his eyes and ruptured one of his eyeballs when he was done he called control for us to come get the pile that was left the guy looked like a male orangutan in the face with the big flat cheek pads his eyes were swollen shut his tongue was so swollen that he couldn't fit it in his mouth the medics had to give him a trash so he could breath an old manager of mine was the corrections officer at a woman's prison around here he had tons of stories most revolving around guards having relations with inmates so biggest story was guards were getting bjs from them and one was plucking their pubies off and putting them in her teeth eventually a bunch of the guards had an orgy with a fair sum of the inmates and she got quite a bit more after that she turned all her hairs into one of the higher-ups and told them to run dna on them they'll be the names of all the guards she listed off sure enough she alone got 20 plus guards fired this is an old story here in sweden one day at a corrections facility called nortol jean stalton the two guards on duty forgot to lock the doors to the cells kitchen and well everything so the prisoners broke out the thing was that they didn't escape but instead built a blanket fort baked a chocolate cake ate the chocolate cake and watched tv all night till the guards came back to the unit the next morning the prisoners had full access to knives forks spoons and well anything you can find in a kitchen and they decided to just watch tv in a blanket fort and eat cake the two guards got five without pay and a warning since nothing major happened there was an inmate who believed that he had a demon in his sink he begged us and begged us to spray the sink with pepper spray so the demon would go away and stop talking to him he wouldn't shut up and he was waking up all the other inmates in the hospital ward i decided to call my sergeant my sergeant came in and after talking to the guy for a while said screw it let's pretend to spray the sink with some pepper spray my partner was a rookie had only been on the job for a couple weeks and he had a pepper spray container that looked like a small fire extinguisher rather than pretending to spray the sink with pepper spray he actually fired it off its blast splashed back on us so we were both coughing and slightly blinded the inmate who was handcuffed in the corner of the cell behind us came rushing over knocking us both out of the way stuck his face in the sink took a deep breath and with pure joy in his voice yelled yeah take that you mother sucker frick you now who's a bee when he was done yelling at the demon he started dancing around with glee he calmed down and was happy the rest of the night i had a ghostbusters t-shirt made for my rookie partner that said i ain't afraid of no sink demon not me but my step-dad's mom we'll call her her meg works as a prison guard and her husband my stepdad stepdad we'll call him steve does construction and home renovation steve got a job to renovate a home after the previous tenant suddenly left and the place was found trashed a carpet was ripped up holes in the walls garbage everywhere the whole nine yards now it was winter at this point and the house hadn't been heated for a while so everything was cold he's clearing out the junk and grabs a big bundle of rug all wrapped up but it's too heavy for him to get by himself so the guy he's working with comes up and they lug it across the room and throw it out the window when it lands down below it unrolls a little just enough that the hand starts showing steve didn't even notice until a little bit later when they're moving all the trash into a big garbage can one of those industrial metal one and he sees the guy's hand he had been killed never heard how and the guy wrapped the body up in the carpet he tore up and fled due to the cold the body had frozen solid inside the carpet and apparently kinda shattered being thrown out the window fast forward a year or two and they finally found the guy who did it he goes back to jail where meg works it's a small town where most people know everyone else so the guy knows it was meg's husband who got him caught and hates her fast forward a few more months and he ends up being stabbed to death with a fork something like 200 plus stabs which is a solid 4-5 minutes of stabbing straight apparently his torso was basically a mush all of this because he had somehow snuck drugs into the jail and wouldn't share after his cellmate saw it meg said she didn't feel too bad about it either that or meg may be called in a favor from some prisoners to get rid of him because she feared he might come after her or give her out for allowing things to pass by oh wait this icelander are writting prompts her loyal loops not a prison guard but my good friend is this happened a week ago two prisoners were shouting and eventually got into a fight which led to a full-out riot where things got extreme was they ripped a tv out of the wall to get to the electrical cables and frayed them then got bags of toilet papers and used the cables and toilet paper to create fireballs during the riot small fires were all over the place as well as the classic shanks and bludgeoning weapons furthermore all the prisoners used their pillowcases with eyes cut out so they couldn't be identified and proven guilty for anything they did which led to them really removing any inhibitions they basically had a room full of the kkk going full riot murdering each other and flinging fireballs when the fire department arrived they tried using the hose to get cell mates back into their cells which somehow wasn't working swat and pepper ball officers were also brought in i was watching from outside it was quite spectacular to clarify because some people don't believe me heck i don't even know if i believe it the firefighters are first responders so they come automatically they did not come specifically for the fireballs pepper guns are non-lethal and apparently just hurt a lot shotting balls of pepper i was outside i did not witness things personally i just saw all the cruisers and vans and commotion i asked a friend about it i was across the street at a building that had an adjacent parking lot not giving more details than that comma they basically had a room full of the kkk going full riot murdering each other and flinging fireballs when the dnd session gets out of hand and all the warlocks duke it out my sister worked for one week only at the state prison as a nurse and quit why there was this 20 years old latino kid who got in trouble with the wrong sort so for a wee charge he was caught with a bigger amount he had planned for a party he got thrown in with the major offenders for possession with intent to distribute war on drugs right so he goes and joins a latin gang like you do when you go to jail they decided to use him as a fleshlight he was violated so much that he decided to jump over the top bunk and land on his knee by the time he was in hospital he had lost a good fifty percent of bowel control america has normalized shittiness and taught its citizens that it is okay poor baby debauchery in prison is a human rights violation and everyone treats it as hilarious just desserts craziest thing i've seen while i was locked up with two inmates hitting the outlets in the common room this would make sparks flies out the outlet they would then let the sparks catch fire onto a piece of paper just so they can light a cigarette a friend of mine does booking the hole spread your butt cheeks and cough the craziest thing she said that came out was a dead mouse outer woman who who obviously crazy person my father-in-law was a ceo at a supermax while i don't have any extreme stories to share i can tell you that he was left mentally scarred and ended up diagnosed with ptsd the guy saw some bad crap worked in a maximum security prison for three years this was 2002 to 2005. several things come to mind i personally cut down two people who were hanging cleaned up tons of urine fesses blood from inmates who i would paint the walls there was the guy who stood at the back of his cell and would run as fast as he could and smash his head full on against the door i can still hear the sound haunting forced cell extractions were a treat becoming winded while trying to get a shank from an inmate who had just slipped the throat of his cellmate i finished college and got the heck out i worked in the jail for a little over a year when i was a probationary police officer a guy came in disruptive combative we put him into the single occupant padded cell until he would calm down to be processed that is fingerprinted pics etc our policy at the time was you go and they're stripped down he begged me to let him keep his underwear and dumbass me i did a few minutes later i hear the trustees yelling for me to bring the keys i grab them and run to the cell i'm the only officer in that area on duty the dude is hanging by his neck in a news fashion out of his underwear that i'll let him keep swinging gently back and forth dying frick me i fumble around with the keys while screaming at the trustees to hit the panic button hidden button to inform the receiving desk officers i need help now i get the door open run in and lift this huge guy wrapping my arms around his buttocks area to get some slack on his neck he shoots all over my right forearm short sleeve uniform other officers enter climb up and untie him he coughed and sputtered back to life i ran into him years later and i recognized him but he didn't recognize me i told him i was the guy that you crap on he apologized thanked me for saving his life said he was clean and sober now and seeking mental health treatment mine is from a closed asylum i was pretty young about 19 and checked in for my first shift ever i went to the door and rang the bell there was an electric lock which opened remotely but the door was also held with some sort of cautionary chain higher up so it only opened about four or five inches anyway i pressed the bell the door swings open and is caught by the chain into the crack pops ahead of a goblin just in front of my face with a screeching wide open arch of a laugh from a toothless mouth in his forehead there are several vertical slashes of deep cut wounds a gape gushing blood on my sneakers the craziest welcome i've ever got stayed in the job some time before starting my studies the guy welcoming me was the serial self mutilator in residence who had just banged his head open on the sharp corner of the outer door frame usually there was a door to cover the frame but it was left open for me about the guy he was friendly to other people but really was hellbent on hurting himself i ended up picking him up once when he jumped through a window another time i went after another patient for a second and the guy immediately bolted to the nearest pine tree caught some cones and ate them before i could catch him his teeth had already been removed because he tore his wrists open with them for anyone thinking inhumane practices this was decades ago and people were really just protecting the guy from himself i have a few worked a segregation unit for crazy violent inmates one of the guys made crap paper mash with his own fesses and newspaper to form like turd play-doh he covered his door and food hatch with it yum another time it was popular to make crap bombs but filling a hall's drop ziploc bag with fesses and urine let it ferment for a couple weeks then when someone you don't like walks by slide the bed under the door and stomp hard with your foot boom a reeking 20 feet streak of excrement on the floor and your victim i have more but these two come to mind first ceo for almost a decade worked segregation and psychiatric units for most of it in the segregation unit some guys are supposed to be allowed to wreck together and some are supposed to be kept separate for their or other safety two inmates that had been hurt threatening each other were accidentally let out together in the 90 seconds from the time their cell doors opened to the time we stopped the fight one of the inmates had knocked the other down kicked his head and stomach and then kicked his scrotum so hard that the testicles tore their way out of the skin and became true external genitalia in the psych unit it is not uncommon for inmates to pay others inmate janitors one-on-one psych watchers etc to get a piece of razor blade when i say a piece i mean something like one stroke eight or one stroke ten of the blade they do this in order to self-harm whether it's to actually accomplish the act or just get more attention on one particular occasion an inmate procured one of these small pieces and managed to use it to cut through his abdominal wall in about 10 minutes we were made aware of the problem by him banging on his cell door while he stood in the door window chewing on his own intestines those are probably two of the worst but i have a lot more i think the funniest story i can't usually tell another company is when we found out how long it takes to bake a potato inside a man that's just awful i was doing the rounds in my unit supervising inmates that were utilizing the exercise area indoor as i rounded the corner to the basketball courts i heard some commotion now the most notorious factions in my prison were the blacks and the muslim gangs i head towards a commotion straight down the hallway turn to my right through the mesh i catch a group of about 12 or so black inmates carrying a young brown-haired male towards some gym equipment with a sock in his mouth some of the black inmates are masturbating and i quickly realize what is about to happen i call a code and i begin to corroll these individuals into position and my mates join me in de-escalating the situation when asked why the ringleader of this motley outfit said that the young man they were about to take had been sold to them by the muslims for two packs of cigarettes and some cottons the problem he said was that he didn't want to be taken so they had to take it from him makes me ill just thinking about it what is wrong with this world if you are new to the channel you can subscribe i publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] so bye for now
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Channel: Updoot Everything
Views: 23,786
Rating: 4.8701301 out of 5
Keywords: #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny reddit stories, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, people of reddit, sub, reddit cringe, memes, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, story, stories, rslash, comedy, fresh, reddit stories 2020, prison guard stories, reddit prison stories, prison rules, prison reddit stories
Id: HRuwC_dj8U4
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Length: 24min 10sec (1450 seconds)
Published: Sun Aug 23 2020
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