"No Fricking Way?!" Stories

reddit what's your favorite no freaking way story my sister was driving down the street at 45 miles per hour with her windows open and a deer ran into the street instead of hitting this deer the deer jumped into her car through the window landed with its head in the foot part of the passenger side seat and its butt on the head rest the deer was freaked the frick out and with its butt in the air proceeded to crap all over the car she obviously pulled over several people stopped to help and asked her where the deer was she just stood there screaming it's in the car i tease in the car a helpful man opened the door pulled the deer out and the deer bounded off like nothing happened for imagery she was driving a late 90s ford escort at the time no one believes this story but it is 100 true i'm willing to believe this only because i know somebody who had a deer impaled on their fence they pulled it off then it just bounded into the sunset my roommate had a huge fish tank with four cichlids in it one of them the pink one was really freaking mean and used to pick on the other ones i hated him one night i had a dream that i caught him with a net threw him in a pan with some butter fried him up and ate him the next morning i walked by the fish tank looked in to discover that the pink one was gone i freaked out and looked all over the tank for him he's nowhere to be found when my roommate got home from work i told him about my dream and that the pink cichlid is missing he looked at me visibly shaken and said dude i'm gonna start locking my bedroom door at night days and weeks go by i'm truly disturbed that i'm capable of sleep eating my roommate's pets finally i'm so overcome with anxiety that i decide to scour the tank csi style looking for clues i press my face against every square inch of the tank desperate to salvage a shred of sanity after what must have been at least an hour something tiny catches my eye under a large piece of coral in the back corner i reached in and pulled out the coral only to discover the bones of the pink cichlid it had been wedged between the rocks and the coral on the bottom of the tank somehow the other three cichlids had murdered the pink one and telepathically framed me for it not only did they frame me they got me to confess that was a thoroughly enjoyable read congrats for restoring peace and cichlid land good sir one winter i went sledding down a popular hill in my hometown with my brother and his wife at the bottom of the hill there's a frozen pond my sister-in-law hopped on the back of my sled sitting backwards and we went down together due to the extra mass we started going way faster than i'd expected when i noticed we were heading right toward a little kid i just couldn't maneuver out of the way so i leaned forward and scooped the kid up holding him up like simba then i realized we were still about to sled into a frozen pond so i bailed out and held a kid as high over my head as i could i stood up set the kid down and looked around for his parents when i saw a big dude coming at me i was like oh crap here we go then he got closer and i realized it was of my closest friends and that the kid i ran into was his son why sit regularly i thought to myself no freaking way and gave him a big hug the kid said he thought it was awesome when i was 17 i worked for an excavation demolition company for the summer we were gutting an old mill in new hampshire to turn into high-end lofts one of the workers was standing on the top of some scaffold about 12-15 feet up using a handheld bandsaw to cut through a large pipe as he was cutting a strap supporting the pipe broke letting it drop down and pinch the blade this made the saw shoot back towards him and push him off the scaffold this guy did a complete freaking backflip while holding a working saw from over 10 feet up he landed on his feet saw still running everyone stopped and stared at him for about five seconds before we went back to work tl dr i worked with a redneck jackie chan in new hampshire who does backflips with power tools so i'm spending the summer on nantucket friends of mine introduced me to a guy named robbie he and i hit it off it's like instant bro love we spend days kicking it smoking bowls and philosophizing then he leaves and we lose touch years go by i'm on a subway in new york this guy i sort of recognize is on the same car he comes over and say hi but it's my stop and so i get off the instant the door's close i remember who he is it's robbie crap the subway pulls away and he's gone years go by i'm living in l.a and it's my friend leslie's birthday at some club down on pico we pull up to the front door i hop out and a guy smoking a cigarette outside says hey you it's goddamn robbie we're best friends ever since and he was best man at my wedding first time i've ever heard of the groom doubling as the best man but hey i'm happy for you guys my friend john is a paramedic and firefighter he also teaches and certifies first aid cpr now for those that don't know cpr is not very effective it has a very low success rate unless initiated soon after an incident which is why everyone should learn cpr even after revival many people have serious health effects one day jon gets into a pretty bad car accident and goes into cardiac arrest the paramedics and police are dispatched the officer first on scene knows cpr and initiates chest compression on john john is revived and although suffered severe memory loss as well the kicker john taught the officer cpr the week prior to the incident that's pretty amazing glad to hear john is doing well kudos to the officer for reacting so quickly a lot of people learn cpr but are too scared to actually do it or they do it incorrectly when it's required also this shows john is a good instructor i was at a car show and i was raising my hand so my parents could see i was still next to the old cadillac batmobile next thing i know someone has high-fived me i look over and it was adam west he winked smiled and walked away to do more signings or something it was glorious i would never wash that hand again no a friend of an old roommate of mine was at the airport a few years ago and saw bill nye the freaking science guy at the terminal next to his eventually he got up the courage to talk to him but it was nothing more than small chat and praise bill's plane gets called so the kid leaves him b and sits back down trying to digest how cool his life just became but a few minutes go by and all of a sudden he hears his name called bill nye is standing at the gate and calls out hey kid science rules then boards the plane i want bill nye to replace the bill murray stories here's mine i was walking my older dog one night around 10 p.m i had him off leash since it was late and we were in a neighborhood no one to bother i kept track of him for poo duty as he sniffed around and we were approaching an intersection the house we were walking along was 20 feet from the sidewalk where i was and was edged by very large juniper bushes which he was checking out suddenly he stopped and dove into a bush this was odd considering he was nearing 10 years old and although he's active he's not crazy like that note lab husky mutt for reference out of the bush comes some sort of snarl scream and all i could think was crap he got a raccoon and out leaps a immature mountain lion at least 20 percent larger than my dog it runs off down the road and i stand there terrified yelling no freaking way as he comes back to me wagging but like he's the greatest dog ever which is very likely considering that cat was much bigger than me it was probably his most well-earned rawhide bone he's ever earned you sick frick after he scared away a mountain lion i was deployed in iraq and was out on a convoy on deck 31 2007. long story short i unknowingly pee on an ied which exploded 30 seconds after i walked away this was on my birthday tl dr trudged raj p trudged trudge boom so a good friend of mine is in an airport in canada in a bookshop waiting to get the flight back to the uk with his family about seven stroke eight at the time anyway across the bookshop is ian mckellen gandalf and my friend and his brother really loved lord of the rings at the time they go over to him and he looks over realizes that they have recognized him and right then and there does an impromptu rendition of the bridge of kaza dumb scene complete with you shall not pass right in the middle of a crowded airport he then gives them autographs houser for no freaking way my girlfriend and i were traveling in italy and met this nice australian girl on the train from rome to naples we chatted a bit and learned that she had just left her friend in north africa to start traveling on her own fast forward two weeks and my girlfriend and i are now on a bus from bresov romania to bucharest and we ended up randomly meeting the australian girl's friend that was left in north africa my former english teacher went camping with his friends they were riding on a bus and he decides to take a nap when he woke up there was a coke can floating in the air so he reaches out to grab it and when he comes to a little bit his friends are freaking the frick out why because his friend dropped his soda can and my english teacher woke up and caught it dang must have had quick reaction time due to the increased brain activity and sleep and had sleeping ninja reflexes flying 1100 miles for an interview i hear someone across the aisle yell my name i'm thinking that voice sounds familiar turns out it was one of my good friends from college i'm thinking no freaking way he got an interview the same time i did and we stayed next door at the same hotel the night before the interview and now we're house mates both got the job the end [Music] once waiting in line at a restaurant i see the guy in front of me i think i recognize him but i don't know what from the entire time i am waiting i am searching in my brain as to why i knew him he turns to me and says do i know you we both stood there for a good 10 minutes going through high schools workplaces friends etc anything to find out why we knew each other as far as we could tell though there is no reason at all we should have ever met before but we both clearly recognized each other to this day no clue drugs a while ago my dad and i had a driver pick us up from san francisco airport to drive us home since there was a lot of traffic we had a bunch of time to talk and shoot the crap turned out that the driver's daughter was the fiancee of my dad's nephew my cousin who both live in cleveland we attended the wedding a few months later and again reconnected with the driver while there we started talking some more and then he introduced us to his wife apparently hair and my dad went to the same high school graduated the same year and even dated for a few months this was in a very small suburban town outside of cleveland small world indeed comma this was in a very small suburban town no no pretty sure that's the explanation right there the day after i proposed to my wife we were at the science fiction museum in seattle wa there is an exhibit that is a giant tumbler full of yellow beads like thousands of yellow beads and one black one it is meant to illustrate the unlikelihood of finding life in the universe i called her over to tell her how cool it was and she just points at it casually and says there's the black one and she has continued to amaze me every day since good times what an elegant metaphor i've got to but i'll leave the other for later first when i was 16 my mom took me to nyc for my birthday we left on a wednesday and were flying back saturday afternoon so i could go to school on monday and my mom could watch my baby sister while my stepdad went back to work on saturday we get on the plane it rolls out of the tarmac and we sit there for approximately four hours without moving and without an explanation the plane then took us back to the gate and said they had some protocol that prevented them from keeping us on the tarmac any longer and the flight was cancelled ate well my mom and i were freaked out to say the least as it was pretty imperative that we get home as soon as possible my poor stepdad is not very self-reliant all the passengers rushed off the plane and got in a line to figure out alternatives and my mom and i start bitching about our situation we mention my baby sister who has down syndrome and the lady behind us in line button and says she has a brother with mental retardation as well this leads to us chatting in line and talking about what bulls that airline was after a while the woman who was with two friends and her niece nonchalantly mentions that she has a private jet and was only flying home on that airline to use up frequent flyer miles she says that she sympathizes with our situation and how would we like to fly home on her private jet early the next morning my mom and i could not even believe the lady proceeds to pay for us to stay in a nice hotel that night takes us out to dinner and buys us steaks and flies us home on her private jet the next morning and that is one of the best things that has ever happened to me more of a big coincidence than anything first week of college my junior year sometime during the day one day i lose the dongle on my laptop charger i look everywhere for it and can't find it anywhere i get back to the room that night and my roommate asked how my day was i tell him about losing the dongle and looking everywhere and he gets this weird look on his face he looks at me and says was it blackened about this long while holding his fingers apart i tell him yes but i figure he's just freaking with me he asked did it have a yellow tip with a little white strip attached to it saying hp i tell him yes but i still figure he's freaking with me he looks at me and says dude i'm so sorry but when i was leaving the calf this morning i see this little black thing on the sidewalk i pick it up and start looking at it for some reason and i can't explain why i did it but as i was passing the dumpster i just blurt out sucks for this guy and throw it right in he insists he wasn't freaking with me so we put on some crappy clothes and went dumpster diving only took about 20 minutes to find it of the 2000 plus students that attend my university the person to find it and like a douche throw it away with my roommate comma dongle comma was it black and about this long while holding his fingers apart i can see why you thought he was freaking with you met a pretty girl online meet her for coffee i mentioned my birthday and she demands to see my license confused i comply turns out we have the same birthday more chatting turns out she was drum major nhs and competed against my ex-wife who was a drum major in a school some 600 miles away and who also had competed against her ex-husband also her ex-boyfriend was dating my ex-girlfriend which is like the third time that has happened in this city of 1.3 m the most implausible part is we're still together almost three years later i met a girl at an anime convention in melbourne australia we got on pretty well as friends chatted for a while on msn and then she decided to move to ireland we fell out of contact about three months after she moved i found this service that allows you to set up a crude msn chatbot you answer a whole heap of questions about yourself and then if you set your msn to a way the bot can hold a rudimentary conversation with anyone trying to speak to you if someone does try to speak to you while you're away a transcript is emailed to you bots can also chat with other bots so you can test how well your bot responds to basic questions one day i get a transcript in my inbox of a bot chatting to my bot it starts with how are you i am good what do you enjoy i like stuff yada yada but a lot of the other bots phrases seem familiar and when i check the bot's location island i message the bots owner sam is that you ruskin what the frick our bots had somehow randomly chosen each other out of the tens of thousands currently active on the site she eventually moved back to australia and that random bot convo was the catalyst for us renewing our friendship the grandfather of my then girlfriend from college awoke one morning in their house in japan in a cold sweat after having a horrible nightmare he announced to his family that they were all moving back to okinawa right then it was the last week of july 1945 and they were moving back to okinawa from hiroshima i don't need to recall what happened that very next week i'm pretty sure the us was dropping leaflets before dropping the bomb warning civilians to leave certain cities because bad crap was going to go down a few years ago i made plans to go c9 inch nails in massachusetts on their final tour with a friend of mine along with his two friends we're from ny on the trip in the mia song paper planes comes on and three of us start singing along making all the noises obnoxiously which annoyed the fourth guy shane he tells us that he hates the song which ended up being bad idea because my friend found and purchased the single for that song complete with five remixes later that day we headed into town a couple days early so there was plenty of annoying shame with the song along with making jokes about how maybe if we ask nicely trent rezno will play it at the concert the day of the concert comes and as the opening act street sweeper social club plays their set the singer announces this next song isn't on our album and launches into a cover of you guessed it paper planes it took a few moments to sink in because i really couldn't believe that it was actually happening it was too perfect here we had been annoying him obnoxiously for the entire trip with this song which the rest of us genuinely liked for the record only to have the opening act of the concert played out of nowhere while visiting family in michigan for our family reunion a few years ago i live in california there was a kkk rally in the small town that we were staying in being a young black teenager semi-flipping crap that there is an actual white supremacist rally going on i decided to hole up in the grocery store where coincidentally six other black people most likely everyone of color in the town were camping out as well i made eye contact with a guy that looked nearly exactly like me just slightly older he claimed to be driving through the town because he's on a road trip with his friends from hialeah florida i told him i was born there and then adopted and moved to california he was immediately curious about the implications of how this happened and i told him my biological mother's name and that she was too young to take care of me so she had me adopted after he hears this he pulls out a picture of his mother at her high school prom i reach for my wallet numb with incredulity as my fingers pull free the same exact picture of this young woman we have the same mom we're long lost brothers tl dr i was stuck in a convenience store during a kkk rally in a random town and found my long-lost brother of 16 years and then you beat up all the xenophobes back to back back in 2006 my brother and i were in berlin just [ __ ] around when these two russian girls ask out us in russian confused we replied in english nothing then in german and turns out they just wanted someone to take their picture we oblige then get talking and hang out of the rest of the day after dinner we say goodbye and part ways fast forward to 2010 i'm using live amateur to learn russian and out of boredom i click the link to review english submissions i find one of a girl practicing ordering food in a restaurant i see the display picture and think this girl's hot click her profile and i am like okay this girl looks really freaking familiar i sent her a message and we start exchanging this and that world and you know it it's the same freaking girl from berlin we got together over the summer in holland and i think she's the one till of amateur thanks i've heard many different versions of this story most of them based in amsterdam and people thinking that little people children were trolls gremlins she was my secret tip savior i used to deliver food for a local restaurant and i was the only driver that worked nights this restaurant gets most of its business from the lunch crowd it was the day after thanksgiving and i was having an especially crappy night week i had been up to my elbows and deliveries with tipping being a rare thing it was also looking like i might be about 150 or so short on my rent i was literally one smart comment away from flipping my crap all over the customers and quitting flash forward to one of my last deliveries of the night and it's an hour past what time i was supposed to be off the snow is turning into steam as soon as the flakes reach my personal bubble i walk up to the house ring the doorbell and hear the shrieking call of the indigenous eight-year-old boys of swahili i curse my luck and try to keep my cool as two young boys run around me in circles shooting each other with toy guns i remember her smiling at me and mouthing i am sorry i give her the food and she hands me exact change i curse the gods of the service industry but just when all hope was lost i heard one of her little boys asking if he could give me my tip the kid runs off leaving me standing there in the cold and snow pee off and hating my life while the lady tries to make small talk i try to be nice but i just want to rip her face off the little boy shows up with three crisp 100 bills in his tiny hand i was not amused at this joke i tell the lady it looks like her boy grabbed the wrong bills she said number she smiled said don't tell anyone wink told me merry christmas and shut the door leaving me standing out in the cold and feeling sort of like a jehovah's witness i was in a mixed state of shock happiness and rage over the fact that i hate when people say merry christmas while it's still november i quietly drove back to the store took my last delivery cleaned up and went home i mentioned this to no one because i wouldn't let their greedy hands get a share of my rent money a few weeks later the same lady orders and i send a newly hired driver to her house i got promoted a week after he comes back with a 50 tip and is flipping crap i smile because my secret tip lady has a heart of gold tl dr lady gives me 300 as a tip for a delivery i tell no one i make rent with the help of a random stranger whom i never met before when i was about 10 i traveled to newfoundland where i made one friend who was the same age as me i was only there for a week and left to come back home fast forward 10 years without any contact between us i'm waiting outside my classroom for the previous class to finish and who walks out yeah the one friends i had made 10 years ago if you are new to the channel you 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Channel: Updoot Everything

Views: 68,151

Rating: 4.9246144 out of 5

Keywords: No Fricking Way, unbelievable, unbelievable stories, hard to believe, can't believe it, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny reddit stories, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, people of reddit, sub, reddit cringe, memes, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, story, stories, rslash, comedy, fresh, reddit stories 2020

Id: 9s-5Y3-XTRo

Length: 24min 45sec (1485 seconds)

Published: Mon Oct 05 2020