my family disowned me yesterday.. ( showing the text messages ) | #grindreel #gaslighting

this is my dad's dad I said I'm just letting you know I'm not paying my dad's rent this month so I'm not sure what's going to happen and he said thanks for the notice we are only on a fixed income it's only your dad you better be careful by burning your bridges behind you you can never go back you have cut your ties with me don't call or communicate with me again basically about a month ago I did a live stream I said I was feeling kind of burnt out because I've been taking care of my parents since they moved here to Utah five six years ago just working non-stop to support myself and them and then yesterday they told me that I've cut ties with him and never to communicate with them again basically I told my dad that I was going to pay his rent one more time for the month of May April 28th of last month I would pay his rent for the final time and you would be on your own now if you don't know the history I can just give you a brief synopsis but I have videos covering this but my dad lost his job lost his house I gave them all of my savings to move to Utah they were supposed to start a new life and that just never happened and then slowly my family kind of fell apart and now my grandparents are blaming me for it and I'm the bad person in all of this because I don't want to be a cash cow and it's destroying my relationship with my dad with my family and now since they've basically cut me off let's talk about it so about a month ago I said I was feeling burnt out for being the provider of my fully capable parents and I was tired of paying their rent I was mentally burned out like mentally dead I not working for myself anymore I'm just waking up every day and working so that I can pay my rent and their rent and I'd like to help people that you know they can't help themselves yeah I'm okay but I feel resentment towards people that can't help themselves and I feel resentment towards people that are fully capable and still asked for freebies and giveaways and then when you give them something they tell you that's not enough money and that's basically what's been happening and it's just caused so much resentment and so much hate being treated like an ATM and being treated like a cash cow and now I'm getting shamed by my family for it they're throwing Bible verses at me they're telling me that I don't know anything about life and nothing in life matters it's not all about money last month I said to my dad on April 28th I said I'll pay it right one more time and then you're on your own and as expected because this has happened many many times he said well this is out of nowhere oh what's changed I guess I'm Sol and he normally threatens to do something stupid like guess I'll go out to the woods and find Bigfoot or guess I'll just disappear or I wish I had just waited a couple days to go to the hospital and then I wouldn't be a pain in your butt and he just he says stuff like that you know whenever I try to stop paying him and stop you're just giving money out for nothing and it's really it's really really difficult to tackle that and when you're a viewer and you're just like it's easy Josh just stop just cut them off just stop doing it and this is not the first time or the second time or the third time or the fourth time or the fifth time or the sixth time this has been happening for five years I have like a list I have like an excel sheet list of reasons that he's given me as to why he can't work you know why he doesn't show up and all of that stuff and so the time has come where I said that's it you know I'm not paying your rent and I've done this a few times right and it they're just so desensitized to it because I always give in and I pay it and they just like oh that's just Josh just saying he's not gonna pay a rent again just causing an uproar but he'll do it just keep asking I mean he'll do it and that's what they think of me I have some text messages I would like to show you so Tuesday April 28th 20 20 when I let him know I can no longer support you I am mentally drained and mentally hurting and emotionally hurting and I can't deal with this anymore I have to cut you off so I said look man so Friday is the last time I'm going to pay rent I'm gonna go crazy having to support both of us I can't do it anymore so there are a couple options you can go with me to the DMV and get a Utah license to uber and pay your rent the car the insurance or give me the car back because I pay his car and insurance it's in my name I gave him that car so that he could get a job and drive around be able to you know transport himself places I paid his rent and the car I said I love you but I'm destroying my drive and ability to work because of all of this because if I keep doing this I'm not gonna be able to work I'm not gonna be able to focus I'm making quality content or focus on you know working on products that I would eventually like to sell or just focus on living my life and I said if you don't text me back by Friday I'm coming to get the car if you disappear I'll have to report the car as stolen and I said let me know what you want to do and you can see ten hours went by between 10:35 and 8:30 p.m. and I said so what's the plan you kind of blindsided me today and kind of set off my anxiety problem that I didn't know existed until right now thirty years of my life and suddenly he has a anxiety problem and maybe he does but I need to get a license and other items yeah for sure I just need to settle myself down a bit so I can think still need to check your brakes and stuff possibly tomorrow and then we can go from there you told me you were coming over to help me and you ghosted me for five days and it's back to the same thing before you had all these health issues before you got sick it's back to you saying I'll be over there I'll be over there I'll be over there then you just never come over he says looks like you had company today anyhow and you don't call you just text me bombshells and that's all just trying to sort out my thoughts and whatnot could be dead but you wouldn't know he does this a lot where he says you know I would been dead and nobody would have known or you know something have happened and nobody would have known nobody calls and checks on me and like I'm so busy working so that I can pay these bills it's not my job to babysit him he's a fully capable person and I do doesn't answer and I do text and he doesn't answer and then three weeks goes by and I just stop stop trying and he'll message me out of the blue and say well you never call me anymore did you forget about me that's actually what he did a few days ago he said woke up with a nasty headache this morning a lot of thought I said stop guilt-tripping me this is gaslighting I've done nothing wrong to you I've only supported you dad I've only paid your bills I've only tried to help you get jobs I've only wanted to see you succeed and be back on your feet and he said didn't say anything just figured out things and he says really vague things like this and I don't really know what he's talking about just figured out things like what things and he won't say he'll never say I said don't you want to support yourself and he said yeah that's for sure so on Friday we can go to the DMV and get you a Utah license and then you can do some driver jobs no problem okay now I understand those aren't the greatest jobs in the world but you can access the money same day and you can work when you want and then in the meantime if you wanted to you could go work at Amazon Amazon is hiring in Utah right now you don't even need a resume just walk in and say I want a job and they say okay you're hired I said what have you been doing since Friday the week before when he promised to come over and help me work on my car and he goes on with these vague things like I've been here but I've had stuff on my mind lately I'll figure it out and I say you always say that like what it sounds like excuses or something or you're depressed or something and he says no big deal my issues I'll get it and like he just makes up these things that he said though I have issues and he's well you won't talk about those issues and he won't go to a therapist and he won't see anything he won't get help and I can't like nothing you know nothing will I can't do anything I said your issues affect other people man me being a big one I said don't you care about me why do you lead me on and let me kill myself working trying to provide for us when I know you can work when I know you're a fully capable person now he would say that well I have some coughs and I was sick and it's like yeah but you could you could do so many things like I'm not asking you to dig trenches all day you know like he says well nothing was done intentionally to you getting the thing and finally getting over and surviving two months later I'm pretty much getting going now still slow but 110 percent better see so he's like admitting that he's better and he says tries to flip it he says sorry for being sick sounds like a different outcome would have been better for a lot of folks but it didn't go that way and what he means by saying that is like sounds like I just shouldn't have gone to the hospital this is what he said on a phone call to me later but what he's talking about is sounds like I should have just died and it would have been better for everybody and this is what he does he's just pulling my emotional strings as his son so that he can get what he wants and he does this every time this isn't like I said this isn't the first time or the second time or the third time this is probably the maybe the 15th time that I've had to deal with this and every time it promised has changed you know it's and at some point you just got to put your foot down and I was afraid to do it for so long because of this because I'm having to deal with this I'm having to deal with my family shaming me and treating me like I'm a piece of garbage when all I've done was wanted to give my family a second life and the idea of picturing my dad on the street homeless or you know doing something bad to himself and knowing that maybe I could have prevented that had I paid his rent is something that I struggle with but at some point it's not helping it's enabling in that is where I met I said you're really hurting our relationship by treating me like an ATM that's not only you only talk to me you only pretend to be my friend they asked me for money you'll call me and say I'm just calling a talk and that's the end the conversation be like hey do you think you can give me you know just just give me something just give me a little every single time and then he just ignored me saying that basically and said are you gonna put the phone money and my Friday allowance and today or wait just so I know who knows maybe this last time for anything if you could let me know so I can plan around thanks and it's like what do you mean this could be the last time for anything I told you it's the last time for anything yes not it's not saying maybe that no this was a statement and then on top of that the entitlement goes to the next level and he says it would help me out I'd like to go out for a burger maybe so instead of going to work instead of just going like instead of acknowledging anything I say about my emotional standpoint he just says yo can you give me that money though like I got to pay my rent here in a couple days you go ahead and give me that today though also can I get my allowance in my phone bill and I'd like to get a burger you know like I said I gave you one thousand four hundred sixty dollars that's enough for rent phone and food do not ask me for another dollar ever and you're welcome he said I appreciate it I hope I can find and get hired in a real short time at this point I haven't been asking for anything extra lately so that was like that was his thing like when I was paying his rent and stuff before and giving him money he would ask for extra money like and so now the benefit is like oh well I'm still taking your money for not doing anything but I've been asking for extra right so that's that's good like no it's not none of this is a benefit to me he said been making do with what's received but why sounds so gruff about it doesn't make things better or easier I don't see a whole lot of gruffness in here but like I said because I'm hurt I'm really hurt I feel like no parents should treat their kids this way then like I so that Friday came along he came over and conveniently forgot all of his paperwork to go get a Utah license and I just sat in the car with him and just signed him up for a bunch of delivery apps like doordash and GrubHub a new breed's and anything like that that I could think of that could just get him some sort of money and I gave him an extra $120 on top of the 1460 that I just mentioned because he wasn't going to be able to access his money for a week after when you first sign up for d'Or - you can't get your money for seven days so I was like okay I guess I got to give you a week's money again keep in mind I pay for the car he uses the car is four hundred and fifty eight dollars a month I know it's a stupid amount of money but I did it I traded my Jeep in and rolled negative equity over so that I could door - what if I ever needed a side hustle and got a smaller carpet and it's $150 a month for insurance and I've been doing that on top of paying him $120 a week his phone bill for $50 his blood pressure for $50 and paying his rent that's $1300 every month and his medical bills with nothing in return absolutely nothing and I don't know how much of that time he was actually sick and I don't know how much of that time he was actually well but I know recently he's been well enough to work I've done nothing but provide for my mom and dad for the past five years since I've moved to Utah from Finland when my dad maxed out my credit cards for $6,500 behind my back because he wrote down the card numbers and the information and used them to pay his bills when my dad took a $10,000 loan out in my name and marked it off his bad debt and I didn't claim fraud for it and I still tried to help him out when my parents ruined the apartment that I had in my name that I gave them to live in because they were homeless and they ruined it by smoking in it and I had to pay another $900 to get that fixed when my dad pawned the birthday gift that I gave him when my dad gave me a check for $80 and said he needed cash and then when I went to cash the check the check bounced when my parents didn't answer my phone calls when my ex-girlfriend cheated on me I was there for them when I lost my job and was unemployed paying my rent and their rent with no job and no income I had to pay to rinse and three capable people living in an apartment that just don't work I was there for them when I quit my job to create my own business I was there for them when I bought my mom a one-way ticket back to be with her dying father in his last moments even though she had done nothing for the past year I bought her a plane ticket back I was there for my family when my sister stole my car got into a hit-and-run accident and caused my insurance rates to spike that's right my sister stole the car that I gifted to my parents so that they could go and look for jobs and she took it with her criminal boyfriend she hid a car and she ran the police raided my house because the car was in my name because I put it in my name because I didn't want them to pawn it because they say pawned things that I gave them they pawned the car that I had before that like they I didn't want her pawn it if it's a mining they camp on anyways the police raided my house surrounded my house and they thought that I did it and I tried to report it stolen I say has not my fault but somebody's got to pay for the damage to the other car right and so cars in my name tags in my name my insurance my insurance pays for it my insurance spikes I was there for my family when my sister tried to cash a blank check she found with her criminal boyfriend and she tried to cash it at a bank for a bunch of money she gave them her ID and then realized that she was in trouble for doing that because it's a crime to try and cash a blank check that's not yours some egregious amount of money and then she got a warrant right now she's on the run I have been there to bail my family out of every situation over the past five years in spite of them screwing me over ruining my credit running up my credit cards all of this stuff in spite of all of that I still bailed them out because I wanted them to have a successful life and the name of doing what's right in the name of doing what's honorable in the name of never wanting someone else to be homeless because that is something I would never wish on anyone I would never I've tried to help them and there are some people that watch these videos and say Josh you owe everything to your parents they raised you and it's like when you lie to your son not when you steal from your son not when you deceive your son not when you ruin your son's financial future that sort of respect goes there you know like I could have put him in jail and then people watch this or like you're a piece of Sun for saying you would ever put your parents in jail they stole they didn't ask for assistance they maxed out my credit cards they have screwed me over left and right you know and I've been there for them when no one else was in the family and maybe there's a reason for that now and now I know why you know so it's been very one-sided and so I feel like I've put in my time I've put in my dues you know I'm not helping them anymore I'm just enabling them and I have to stop because at what point do I get to live my life for me I'm gonna be thirty years old this isn't a shill but if you haven't been following me on Instagram I've been posting stories of me going paragliding it's something that I've put on hold for over eight years now before I went to Finland before I went to go get married I've been putting it on hold I even have a tattoo of a feather because it was to remind myself that I am going to fly in the air with some sort of vehicle one day and paragliding was what I initially started with way back in Georgia and I had to quit because I moved to Finland to marry a girl and I've been doing that because you know I said whatever I'm not gonna pay rent anymore I'm gonna use this money that I would use to pay your rent and I'm gonna do something for me I'm gonna live my life for once I'm gonna think about what Josh wants today I'm gonna think about what are my dreams and what are my goals and so I took myself to learn paragliding for two weeks after I set my dad up with door - he didn't talk to me I mean I gave him a hundred twenty bucks and I set him up with door - and he just didn't talk to me for two weeks and those two weeks were so peaceful and so different that I I woke up every day and I was kind of doing what I wanted to do and I woke up and I was kind of enjoying and had a choice and I was like oh what what would Josh want to do today and then it was just really nice I felt like I could finally live a bit and and then he called me a couple days ago just to talk and he hadn't asked me for money so far and so I was like oh maybe maybe this time it is just to talk I said hey man how you doing he said hey man how you doing and we started talking for a little bit and I said yeah I actually been learning paragliding lately since you've been on your own and taking care of business and he's like oh yeah really and I was like yeah man is like pretty awesome you know I've been wanting to do this since I was like 18 years old and I started in Georgia and remember all that stuff right dad he's like yeah yeah I remember all that stuff so and I was like yeah you should you should come check it out with me it's it really cool you know and so if you go look at my Instagram stories you can see that I invited him out with me to come see paragliding and come check it out up close and personal and come watch me live my dream father-to-son and at the end of the session he was like yeah this is this is really great Josh hey do you think I could get like 50 bucks it was just pretending to be interested in my dream so that he could get to the end and ask me for money and then I realized that's why he called the day before he was just calling to ask if he could get some money but I had invited him to do an activity with me and he would much rather ask me in person when he knows it's more difficult for me to say no in front of public people you know like an out in the world whereas everyone is watching and it's really difficult I know it'll make a big scene he's done this before he's come to my airplane lessons or I'm getting pilot's license and he shows up in the parking lot just sitting there he's like hey Josh please can I get some money I was like I'm here to do my pilot's license and there's people in the parking lot looking at me and he says the window down no intention to get out just hey it please please can I just please can I have some money he didn't tell me that he was coming he wasted a bunch of gas to go there just to beg me for money and I'm like dad I have to go do these lessons right now I I I'm paying for this time I don't have time to keep like give you money I have to I have to pay for this lesson this lesson the loans gonna cost me a few hundred dollars and you're asking me for another few hundred dollars like I can just leave and I told him you know just leave get away from me and he started crying in the parking lot he started breaking down in the parking lot Oh Josh please please please and then everyone the parking lots like looking at me right and it's creating a big scene and in that moment of weakness you would say for me I was like you know what Dad fine I'll just give you the money can you just leave I really need to focus on being able to fly an airplane you don't want to fly an airplane when you're emotionally distraught you don't you want to focus especially when you're learning all the dials and the buttons and the airplane you want to crash an airplane you know like it was just much easier to be like you know what okay fine and that's what he does he goes to you in person and makes it really difficult for you to say no and because he knows he's my dad I'll probably do it but this time I'm not doing it and so I'm getting shamed for it and so after he asked me for $50 if at the end of the paragliding lessons I knew that like if you're asking me for money that means you stopped working your own job at some point you just said [ __ ] this I'm not making enough money with doordash or whatever I'm just gonna go ask my son for money because it's a lot easier that way you know because he could have made $50 that same day if he had just doordash that he didn't need to be there you know and then when he's like well you can't make a living doing door - Josh it's just not you know it's like three bucks here or there you know and I was like what sir you can't make a living doing it if you're here with me paragliding for four hours of course you can't you know it's just easier for you to come here and ask me for money well I have an interview lined up at the hotel that I you know that I was working at before I quit to do YouTube with you Josh and so you know that'll be okay and I was like okay so what you're saying inadvertently is you haven't been doing tour - you haven't been looking for any jobs and you've just now telling me that you might have an interview you with the place that you worked before you quit to come do YouTube and try that and that means I'm going to have to pay a rent right debt and I'm just like Kay because I told you I'm not going to pay your rent I'm not gonna do it you had an entire month you could have told me that you had trouble looking for jobs you could have told me that you had trouble he's like well you know the thing that's going around is making it really difficult to get interviews and find a job and I'm just like you didn't message me at all for two weeks I thought you were doing fantastic and you were just living your best life and you didn't need money for me anymore and that's why you didn't talk to me but lo and behold you just weren't doing anything I guess when he asked me for the $50 I was just so tired from running up and down the hill paragliding legs shot chest upper body shot you know like just I'm just tired from you know doing the activity for a few hours and I was like you know whatever dad just here's 50 bucks and then saying anything's thanks a lot you know I don't I won't ask for any more why don't you go work for it why don't you go dude or dash for it I don't get it you're on here on a mountain with me begging for money when you could go be earning that money it doesn't make any sense and he said well I have the interview today like if he was lined up today I'm gonna go right after this so the day went by we left went paragliding I went back home and then I said hey they give you a job you get a job how the interview go no response hey I really liked paragliding do you think I could come again tomorrow like what are you doing like it was super fun and I'm just like no no no no no answer the question dad did you get a job how did your interview go well right when I got there she had just left to go to a doctor's appointment so I'll have to wait till tomorrow and I've heard that exact excuse before it's always like oh I just got there in the manager left so I couldn't do the interview oh well she had a day off today oh she had vacation I told him still well I mean look dad I'm sorry that you didn't get that interview today I'm sorry that you didn't get that job today but just letting you know I'm still not going to pay your rent this month I've already given you more money than I initially said like I do every single month but I'm not paying you $1,300 I already pay for your car and that's when I let my grandparents know and my mom who never responds to me know that I'm not gonna pay his rent this month I'm not just gonna roll over and be the cash cow they expect me to be and they are so conditioned to me just rolling over and paying for my dad that they just expect me to and they doesn't believe me when I said hey I'm not gonna pay rent what I'm about to show you our text messages from my grandparents and none of them have ever talked to me like this before and I want you to keep in mind that these people claim to be devout Christians and now again I don't really talk about religion on the channel but I was raised in a super Pentecostal Church and these people claim to be very devout and they're always slamming you with Bible verses to tell you what's true and what's not true let's read the text messages this is my dad's dad I said I'm just letting you know I'm not paying my dad's rent this month so I'm not sure what's going to happen and I said that in that like he's probably gonna message you and say hey Josh isn't gonna pay my rent this month can you help me out or whatever I I didn't say like I'm not paying it so you have to and he said thanks for the notice we are only on a fixed income it's only your dad you better be careful by burning your bridges behind you you can never go back you have cut your ties with me don't call or communicate with me again and my grandfather has never spoken to me like this before never in my whole life and it's crazy to me it's crazy to me because I wasn't making any demands I just stuck to my guns and I called him May first and he didn't answer and I texted him he didn't answer and I told him it was up this is the last month for my dad and I don't get it my sister has lied and stolen from them for money and then goes and buy his drugs with it my mom has lied for money and then goes and buys cigarettes with it my dad is lied for money then goes and buys whatever with it like and I just tell my grandparents hey look man I can't I can't pay at this I've been doing it too long I like he's got to figure it out I'm not doing it anymore and then he says you're dead to me he says you're dead to me you know don't call or communicate with me again my grandfather my dad's dead and to be honest I was pretty taken back I don't feel like that is what a devout Christian person would do I so I sent him a thumbs up because I was pretty shocked and he said typical response hope you can go through the rest of your life without any family he's a 77 year old man talking to me like he's an angry 17 year old lashing out at his family because I said I'm I can't pay my dad's friend I can't I can't do it anymore I'm mentally dying I it's just unbelievable to me absolutely unbelievable that my grandfather would say this to me this doesn't just it's like if you're if you're watching this video bro a [ __ ] you I've never done anything to you I've only supported your offspring more than you did I have done I've woken up every single day for the past five years to support your son and you tell me don't call or communicate with me again hope you can live the rest of your life without any family [ __ ] you I've never done anything to you and then his wife my dad's mom messages me right she's obviously freaking out and she says Josh you you could have given a warning before the end of the month your dad is trying to get back in a full-time job you know very well he could not pay the rent yeah but he's been trying to get back in a full-time job for seven months you know a year what whatever you know it doesn't and she goes on to say we are 76 and 77 you give us a few days to stretch our fixed income you have so much to learn about life and the things that matter and she started saying money isn't everything basically I gave them a notice I told them at the beginning of the month I'm not gonna support them anymore and they just ignored me they didn't answer because they didn't want to deal with me then and they don't want to deal with me now and she says nothing like a sudden notice that we need to pay $1,100 plus bill in a few days makes for a good night's rest trying to guilt trip me and I'm not saying you have to pay it I never said that grandma just saying I'm not gonna do it and he's probably gonna freak out but he's gonna find a way to survive he'll make it through but we can't keep enabling this behavior we cannot do it I do not live my life to support capable people that just don't want to sport themselves and then 20 minutes go by and she's like Joshua would you reconsider and pay the rent your dad needs a chance to get paychecks coming in why knock him down again again I never knocked him down at all I never knocked him down in the beginning I've only helped pick him back up time and time again after being financially screwed this is gas lighting as you all know a lot of people in my life somehow liked to do this to me and she said why give us a moment's notice you can afford it many times more than we can don't do this to your dad at this time I didn't give anyone a moment's notice I tried to call you I tried to text you but you didn't answer me because you think I'm just a difficult grandson that wants to start a bunch of trouble in the family when in fact I have done nothing but the opposite but helped my family if they know that I'm not super religious right so that kind of gives them some extra ammo for them to not be like oh well he's a lost one you know he's a lost cause you know he's not saved or whatever right like when I put my foot down and say that I'm done I'm not doing it anymore I've suddenly I've burnt my bridge only then I have I burn my bridge and I've done nothing but support these people I texted my mom said hey not paying dad's Ram if you don't want to be homeless you should probably do something and now she hasn't responded to me for months mom if you're watching this a giant [ __ ] you to you as well you're a piece of [ __ ] too I'll probably never see you again background about my mom I bought her a one-way ticket to go see her dying father and she went to Georgia to go be his caretaker and now he passed away and that was months and months ago and now she just lives with my grandmother rent-free with a car with no job and she goes and gets cigarette money or whatever vape money and goes and vapes and she does nothing she doesn't work she does absolutely nothing at my grandmother's house I have no idea we don't talk anymore I just know that my mom is a sponge and a bum and doesn't do anything at all and and I would kind of feel bad about saying this on a public forum but this time I don't this time I don't at all because I have tried and tried and you just say nothing you just get upset about all my dad passed away and it's so sad and I'm so sad now and like I look I'm sorry I'm really sorry that you dad passed away and sucks he was a good guy but like you have to move on and get a job because we're over here dying right oh but you just think that I'm working and making plenty of money so like oh I'll just I'll just support everybody I'll just be the goose with the golden egg no problem right but they don't care you know they just think because you you make money that oh it's not a problem for you it's not it's not it's not about that it's the principle of wanting people to support themselves you know you don't want to give the man a fish you want to teach the man to fish and so anyways my mom never responds so I messaged her mom as well because my dad you know he'll go into panic boat and he'll start reaching out to all these people when he can't get money from me and then so I had to prepare them for that and I told my grandma just letting you know I'm not paying my dad's rent so if you don't want to be homeless you'll have to do something and when I said it like I didn't mean like that's like the ultimatum I just meant like if you want you can do something she said what can I do and I said I'm not sure you don't have to do anything it's up to you but I can't do anything and then she flips the script on me again and says Josh you talked him to moving out there and I said oh okay it's my fault that I saved my family from being homeless so I have to continue to pay his rent I got it well my mom can help smileyface she is his partner she is his wife and then my grandma just activates ultimate boomer mode ultimate traditional mode and says well he is the head of household it is his job to be taking care of her right now this is what she does because he is the man he has to be taking care of my mom even though my dad is literally like he was sick he had the the thing that's going around you know like actually dying at one point and he's supposed to still be taking care of my mom over living with my grandma rent-free with like you know like I said sorry I can't do it she said what's the problem I said I'm not a cash cow this is really wrong and so she likes to throw Bible verses at me a lot to tell me like look Josh you need to honor your mother and father and I said Jesus would not like this she would say that this is wrong and what your parents are doing to you is wrong and Jesus would say that my mom should help her husband for richer or for poorer those are the vows and she said you need to talk to your dad and his parents and I said sure I did but if he messages you you know what's going on and then again she hits me with the Bible verse quotes honor thy father and thy mother that your days may be long on this earth what a joke this woman is and this is what they've done my whole life is they throw this kind of they throw these verses at you when it's convenient for them and then and this is how you push people away and I said but what about for richer or poorer and she said they both cannot earn enough money to pay rent groceries and meds and I said my mom could she lives with you for free if she has a car she gets money from you to go buy cigarettes and food and she has no job um so she could get a job easy and he could get a job easy and they could both work part-time and make enough money to pay my dad's rent at least right and she said that's just part of the marriage vows by the way Josh what about your vows I said I don't have any vows and she said what you did and I said I didn't ask to be born I don't have any vows I said why do you defend my mom not working I don't get it she just won't address it and then she goes on to start being really really inappropriate and saying how much money do you make a month Josh Josh and reality how much does paying their rent hurt you financially how bad does it hurt your bank account it doesn't matter how bad does it hurt this relationship and I just said a hundred thousand percent she says I do not believe that you are still putting away money in your savings account and it's adding up you make several thousand a month you've showed me and this is a mistake that I made right never show your friends and family how much money you make if you make money because they just hold it over your head in times like this and that was a big giant mistake I did it because I thought they would be proud of me because I was the only grandson in the family to be like this successful but look at all the problems when they say you know more money more problems or Josh it will be good for you to earnestly seek the Lord about these problems so she just again just shoves it off onto the Bible you know whatever just go read that that'll solve that'll solve the problems but don't talk to me anymore she said that's the devil telling you to do that God would never tell you to stop providing for your parents I said tough love from God's kind of a thing though like you can go read about that an Old Testament you know and she said you need God in your heart she said you really need to pray and ask the Lord to forgive you for the harsh things you've said to your parents and how you've talked to them on your videos or about them on your videos and like are you serious you I'm the one that needs to ask for forgiveness and it just goes on and on with this religious stuff with her and I didn't do this I test spark a debate with her I just messaged her just say hey look I'm not doing it made my mom can help or you can help and then she just gets really upset and she says I'm sorry you feel this way I love you but on Judgment Day I love you but that's the best right that's not manipulation but on Judgment Day you and I and everyone else will have to give an account for everything we've said in our lifetime there will be no excuses i watch what comes out of my mouth because i can't put it back in I can apologize but the hurt is remembered what about all the hurt this cost of me and again if you're religious and you're watching this I'm not trying to offend you either but honestly I think that you might almost agree with me and then she goes on to say I bragged on your YouTube before but I will be so embarrassed and ashamed if my friends read them now I said I don't care I don't care do you love me you want information control you should care about me and how I'm being used by my parents no one is helping me do not try to guilt-trip me I won't have it if this is what a family is you know and a family bro you know call you guys who told me I'm the one who didn't try hard enough all you guys who tell me I'm the one who needs to ask for forgiveness no you guys who tell me that I'm a bad son for not honoring my mother and father I'm the most honorable person in this family but all you guys that tell me it's my fault we're in this situation because I gave them my entire savings and offered them a second life a new life you guys for not coming to my wedding oh you guys for not coming to my college graduation in summary [ __ ] all you guys and if this is what family means you guys can have it cuz I'm out the hardest part is realizing that you can only do so much and you go from helping them to enabling them and the hardest part on top of that is accepting that it might never change and after that the hardest part is accepting that I've done everything I can and that whatever happens after that is not on me I'm 29 years old I'm gonna be 30 in July and I've given my family over $40,000 the past year for free for nothing at what point do I say hey this is my life I have to live for me but not only do I get shamed for saying hey this is my life I have to live for me now I I don't get understanding I don't get acceptance I don't get a hug III just get cut off which is fine it's fine there's only a few people in my family that I would still be willing to talk to go [ __ ] everybody else I've been gas-lit enough times to know how this works and it's so easy to believe it when it's the people close to you it's so easy to buy into it so easy to think that you're actually in the wrong just like it happened with the ex-girlfriend I thought I was in the wrong for trying to figure out if she was okay after she disappeared the I caused her to cheat and I've definitely learned a lesson that you know don't involve money with friends or family if you guys want to reach out to me that this email in the description you can DM me on Instagram whatever but that's the situation we knew this was gonna happen we knew that eventually the next month would happen and they would say oh it's just Josh he'll just pay the rent again we knew it we're gonna happen and here we are here's here's what it looks like when you put your foot down to stop enabling something I fully expect him my dad to come to my house and beg and plead and sob for money because he'll be homeless otherwise and it's going to be really hard to close the door on my dad it's going to be exceptionally hard to look him in the face knowing that when I close this door you'll have my car and I'll never talk to him again I don't talk to any of you guys again I keep processing that over and over and what it's like to just be an orphan now I guess my grandma predicted it she said don't worry Josh one day you'll be all alone with no friends or family same grandma that told me I need to ask for forgiveness same grandma that sent me two books about how I need to read what happens in heaven so that I can meet my grandfather that passed away because if I don't read these then I won't see him again and if I do read them he'll look down and smile on me it's very emotionally manipulative stuff right guess this is the apex of the situation so thanks for listening maybe you learn a thing or two don't do what I did but still try to help people I guess see you guys in the next one [Music] [Music]

Channel: Joshua Fluke

Views: 1,267,141

Rating: 4.8698883 out of 5

Keywords: joshua fluke, code bootcamp, javascript, how to code, web development, brand, developer interview, developer jobs, corporate cringe, divorce, story i dont talk about, entrepreneurship, digital brand, my girlfriend cheated, my family disowned me, narc parents, bad parents, get a job, my family cut me off

Id: 4lV1JXL9gYc

Length: 41min 1sec (2461 seconds)

Published: Wed May 27 2020

Reddit Comments

[u/Dad_B0T]

Voting has concluded. Final vote:

Insane	Not insane	Fake
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[u/ThrustersToFull]

This was very tiring and upsetting to watch. This guy is great - supporting his dad financially for months, even getting the dude a car etc - and all he gets is it thrown back in his face. His dad sounds like a manipulative, using piece of shit. His son is far better off without him.

[u/Sarah-loves-cats]

He is going to be so much happier without this colossal weight from his shoulders.

I am guessing this is some kind of raised by narcissist type of senario.

[u/SevanIII]

I really feel for this guy. He was so caring, self-sacrificing and generous and it just got thrown in his face.

I have also experienced a lot of entitled grifting in my family. The help you give is never appreciated and never returned when you're the one in need.

With these type of people, the truth is, "no good deed goes unpunished."

[u/Boezoek]

People who care this deeply about others get fucked all the time.
That is why a friend of mine said this to me that i had to say out loud: I am the most imported person in my inner-world. It felt strange saying it, because I never even tough that way before, it was all about others in my inner world and that was my stepping stone to say NO. No. nO and NO!
So this means you can care what you want about others, but you are on the steering wheel of your life. They are on theirs. You got to do what's best for your. Period.

[u/always_needhelp]

Oh no, there's two more parts to this whole story, and it gets more insane. Poor dude

[u/PurplePowerE]

Well its better to have no family than have the abusive family :(

[u/bright-ideas]

Over 40,000 in a year!! Imagine how much he’s given them since they moved to Utah with him. Glad he’s finally putting a stop to this.

[u/Viinex]

Fuck those parents.