Disowned by my family - The Years Before (Gaslighting) | #grindreel

here's probably one of the dumbest things that i tolerated my sister messaged me when i was unemployed and i had 30 dollars to my name and she says can i have 20 till friday when i get paid or we all get paid i said i'm unemployed what you're asking a person with no job that pays your rent and your bills for money and my sister said i'm aware so recently youtube has been recommending the i got disowned by my family video a lot lately and i'm getting a lot more comments than usual most of the people are supportive and i appreciate that but then there are a bunch of people who um think that i owe my parents everything because they raised me there are some religious people that are saying like you need to obey god and give everything to your parents and then there are some people who just think this whole thing is fake in this video i'm gonna show you some never-before-seen text messages in order to provide some behind-the-scenes proof of everything that i had talked about me reading these messages now six months later after i cut them off took my car back move changed my phone number and stuck to it um it's insane that i tolerated that when i made the first video i was i felt kind of guilty and now i don't feel guilty at all i feel like these things need to be shown to the world just because someone says don't tell anyone that and then you do tell people that doesn't mean that you're it doesn't mean that you're doing something wrong if a bad guy does something bad to you and says shh don't tell anyone that's manipulation like that's i'm not doing anything wrong by revealing this stuff so i'm going to start with some text messages from my grandmother she says does your girlfriend live with you i said no she said is she the one pushing you to quit paying their rent or are your youtube friends telling you that's the way to go as if they would really know and i just like to say you guys are all right yeah clearly you can see through the bs that i couldn't and i said no it's my own mental health and she goes randomly are you still exercising at the gym how much money do you make a month josh josh in reality just how much does paying their rent hurt you financially said a hundred thousand percent but she goes on to say i don't believe that you're still putting away money in your savings account and it's adding up you make several thousand a month josh you have showed me isn't it crazy that just because you make money that someone else feels like they're entitled to it it's absolutely crazy doesn't matter if i make ten dollars or a million dollars i don't think anyone is entitled to it josh it will be good for you to earnestly seek the lord about these problems at this point in time i was kind of done dealing with my grandma's religious stuff and so i just tried to like reverse psychology a little bit and i just said uh he told me to stop like god told me to stop enabling and my grandma got super pissed he did not god don't treat people like that i said he told me to stop enabling my grandma said that's the devil telling you that god does not do that and i said well a tough love from god is true there are plenty biblical stories about that she says you need god in your heart you need to really pray and ask the lord to forgive you for the harsh things you've said to your parents and how you talked about them on your videos i don't think i need to ask for forgiveness i think if anything everyone in my family should be asking me but at this point we all know that's never gonna happen that's just a nice that's just a nice idea she said josh god don't live in a heart of hatred i said okay she said for your benefit pray and ask god for help he's helped you in many situations because of the people praying for you your dad needs help please help him i said no it's not help it's enabling him you help him tell my mom to help him tell my sister to help him tell your church to help him you should realize that i am mentally drained and cannot work anymore with this kind of pressure on me then i said the last thing i ever said to my grandma which is i think it's best we don't talk anymore she said you don't know all the help he's needed and all the help from here and you don't know about his breakdowns either sorry josh and this just seems like wait you didn't know about all these other things we did while we were doing them and like you owe us for that like if these things were happening why didn't you include me in them and why didn't you tell me you know it's just like a way for her to try and get me to come back and and talk and maybe i don't know feel guilty about it she said you need prayer and i will keep praying for you because i love you grandma this is not love this is manipulation here are some messages from my grandparents asking me to help my family with a bunch of money while i was unemployed and paying my rent and their rent just the audacity to ask me for money while i don't have a job is is insane my grandpa says josh can you help get them insurance for a month and get their truck out of impound thanks like as like as if it was a said and done deal so you're probably wondering why their car was impounded well my parents would drive around their car without registration without current tags and they left their car parked somewhere the person found it i guess the traffic enforcement found it or whatever and they impounded it and i said it's gonna cost like 400 to get their car out of impound are you serious they have to get insurance and pay the fee to get their car every time you ask me to help them you always say one more time when does it mean anything if every time is one more time so for all the people that we're saying like well at least give them a month in advance and then cut them off josh before you do it i did i did it like every single month i said this is the last month for five years my grandpa said we don't know that but the impound fee will go up every day if we don't get it out soon and i said that's not my problem they can ride the train and take the bus do you understand that i have to skip buying food this week and i had to cancel my gym membership to pay for the damage to the apartment i had peanut butter out of a jar for dinner last night you know like a normal person when you lose your job you have to go without you have to do without you have to sacrifice things you have to cancel things not to mention during this time when i was paying their rent and my rent they had gotten a bunch of fees at the apartment complex that was in my name that they couldn't afford to get because they didn't have credit they couldn't qualify for it so i just let them have it in my name anyways they were smoking in the apartment they were adopting a bunch of cats and dogs and animals and whatever in the apartment and they knew that it was a non-smoking complex they knew that they weren't allowed to have any more animals than the ones that i had registered and the apartment complex found out during maintenance routine inspections for the water heater and stuff and and then they get a big fee nine hundred dollars and i had just paid that like two days before they got their car impounded then my grandpa said josh if you will do this i can help you some okay if you can help me some why can't you help them some everyone just looked at me as if i missed their money bags and i don't even have a job here i wasn't even doing youtube here i said no look this is what i will be eating for breakfast lunch and dinner today old cheerios a bag of cereal is all i have no when i first saw these messages from years ago like why didn't i just block them on the spot all right so this next message i want to explain a little bit my parents and my sister would call three different family members and ask for money and they wouldn't tell the other family members that they had already called someone else and gotten the money so uh they would basically be triple dipping they would call me and say hey josh we need twenty dollars for groceries they would call my my mom's mom and say hey we need twenty dollars for groceries and they would call my dad's mom and hey we need twenty dollars for groceries but they would never say oh i already got it from them don't worry about it no they would take all of it every time and i told my grandparents that they were doing this and to stop giving them money because they were doing this they just got it from me and we they they refused to keep in contact with me and they would just give them money so then one day my parents asked me for money as usual and i just stopped and thought to myself maybe i should check with other people to see if they had already gotten money from someone else so i messaged my grandpa and i said hey when was the last time you gave my parents money and my grandpa responded said hey josh we sent your mom 50 bucks sunday night to buy some groceries we wanted to help okay and i said stop doing that now they're asking me for money today saying that they have no money i said i paid their rent last month and their phone bill and a 200 electricity bill so it didn't get shut off let me pause here and explain that since the apartment was in my name all of the utilities weren't my name but they were supposed to get transferred into my parents name but uh of course you know they never did that and so when they let their electricity bill lapse the apartment will pay it so it doesn't get shut off then the apartment bounces that bill to you and adds on a huge fee anyways i said i spent fifteen hundred dollars and my own rent is sixteen hundred dollars and that's me typing out of frustration and i said i told them that they have one more month this month if they can't get their crap together they are gone out on the street i don't care go back to georgia i tried to do it multiple times and i just couldn't manage to get it together and finally put my foot down and say no more i mean i would say these things and i would i would i don't know if you want to call it lashing out you know like i'm not a perfect person i got mad multiple times about it i was frustrated i i wasn't just yeah sure here's the money every time i wasn't happy about it here's a text from my mom after i said i'm not going to pay the rent because i'm unemployed and i can't afford to pay your rent and my rent i couldn't even afford to pay my rent and my mom had called me and asked me to take out a loan to pay their rent and she'd be like i'd much rather talk about this face to face because they knew that if my parents could get in front of me face to face and talk to me about it it would be a lot easier to manipulate my emotions and finally get me to give in but anyways i said no i'm not taking a loan i'm not paying a dollar you chose this you chose not to work you chose no money you chose to lie to me and i said i'm contemplating kicking you out all of you family ties mean nothing to me find the money you can see me trying to put my foot down here and i didn't do it a fun little extra here is that the next day i found out that my mom had pawned my laptop or my mom and my sister had pawned my laptop that i had given them that they could use to apply for jobs like not as a gift but just as like a loan to apply for jobs it was like a 1600 laptop that they just pawned so when you start seeing these sorts of things happen i just my question to the people that say like well they brought you into this world so you owe them josh do i owe them when they they sell my possessions for money and then ask me for money and then lie about not working here's another text message where my mom called me and said josh we need you to pay our phone bill this month and uh i shouldn't have answered i shouldn't have even said anything in return but i said uh how much is it which is stupid she said it's 744 and i hung up and after like some time i messaged her and i said explain to me why your phone bill is 744 obviously i refuse to pay it and then i paid it she didn't answer so i started to lose it and get mad at my mom and maybe this is wrong maybe i'm a bad person for this but i don't particularly think i am i said i don't trust you at all why was your bill so high why are you being so shady because she couldn't justify why the phone bill was so high and you know they would do this they would inflate bills of other things so that they could get extra money from it they would say this bill the electricity bill is four hundred dollars but it was only two hundred dollars and they would they would just want to scrape the extra 200 off the top and they would do this with everything we need x amount of money and just add a little bit extra so that they could just pocket it i said is this how you treat your kids i would never treat my kids like you've treated me and you just avoid talking to me because you know you messed up i said i'm unemployed and you guys are sucking money from me who does that like when i was a little kid and you promised to hug me and love me and stuff it makes me sick to think about how you're acting towards me now i said because you've lied and you've stolen from me that same kid your kid and i've only ever given to you i've never taken anything or treated you wrong but for some selfish reason you chose whatever it is you needed over treating your son right and that is disgusting so i know i would get mad and i would say things and i would say no and then i would do it anyways here's a text message um that my mom sent me after i said something to my grandma like i hate my family and she messaged me out of the blue and said i'm really sorry joshua that you're saying you hate your family i don't believe you i know you're hurt mad and tired more than anything your dad loves you and is grateful and doesn't want to quit on you but dad needs you josh you're his best friend times like this josh be patient as you can with him and you are i'll do what i can for dad me and your grandma don't have a lot to give not saying that you do for now until i can help you with dad please don't be mad at him please he doesn't for sure mean to hurt or make you mad he really doesn't my mom sent me this and it was basically asking my me to give my dad money and my mom had just left us here she had just abandoned us and i paid for her to leave because she wanted to go spend time with her dad and his last moments but then after that happened she didn't do anything you know she just left us here she wasn't working she wasn't sending money back to us she didn't do anything she just she just abandoned us here just left me and my dad and my sister and i said why can't you work and send money to him through sickness and in health right that's the vow i'm not his wife you are and my mom would always say the classic i'll do what i can josh a few days went by and people start asking me for money to pay for my dad's medical expenses if they're even legitimate because what he would do would say something like i had to go to the doctor and this is the bill i need money and i'd be like okay well send me the bill and and i'll pay it if you're really sick obviously no bill would ever come and he would just go to someone else until you give them that story until he got the money and it was it was all lies i said to my mom can you help take care of dad he says he has coronavirus and needed to go to the er and she just totally swerves me here my own mother just swerves me when i'm asking my mom to help he said i knew he was in rough shape and this morning it could just be the flu bug you shouldn't be around him until this is passed hope things are good with you josh take care i was asking for help and she just started ignoring me and this is how the relationship devolved with my mom over time and that was this year march of this year when things were starting to really peak for me i said yeah but can you help him can you send him money or something he came to my flight lessons in the parking lot begging for money risking spreading his sickness he could have texted me for money but no he needed to come to the parking lot he said i'm tired of taking care of him i want to be an orphan i hate my family i would never do this to anyone it hurts me i'm so burnt out i try so hard to be a good son and do the right thing and it hurts me i'm so tired mom and this is the last time in my life that i've ever referred to the lady that had me as mom that was like my cry for help i work non-stop and put on a smiling face and i hate it and i hate that i'm forced into this i want him to leave i'll never call her mother again i'll never call her mom again she's not my mom she's just some lady to me this was the last thing i ever said to my mom just begging for help after just getting ghosted for months this next message was the last thing i've ever said to my mom since um and you know this was after getting ignored for months and months of can you help nothing can you help no response you're a terrible mother and wife for allowing me to be the only person in this family that actually gives a [ __ ] and works you'd be lucky to ever see me again i hate you so much for abandoning us here for doing nothing to help us for leaving it all on my shoulders for leaving your only [ __ ] son to carry the weight of the entire family you your husband and your daughter i wish i had better words for how much i resent you but i don't know what else to say i hope you're happy crying about your dead dad all day get over it and move on with your life i won't block you but be cautious with the words you used to respond to me or you'll never hear from me again since you do nothing all day why don't you take some of that time to reflect on the irreversible damage you've done to our relationship i'm not paying dad's rent so if you don't want him to be homeless do something yeah i for some of the people you know never talk to your parents that way but for me i stand by those words today i stand by them so for those of you out there that have good parents just tell them you appreciate them but yeah this these stories are real a lot of people say you know how could all this stuff keep happening to you josh maybe you're the problem and i think the main problem was that i was just too [ __ ] nice so uh and agreeable but here we are here we are and things are good right i don't have anything bad to talk about but here's the proof in the pudding probably find more and more stuff if i really wanted to but it just uh just makes me mad what i tolerated during this time hope that this gives you further insight to the situation that a person goes through over their life and how it's not so easy to just cut them off thanks for being here i appreciate you not asking for anything but uh i do hope that you have an enjoyable friday and a good weekend see you in the next one [Music] you

Channel: Joshua Fluke

Views: 359,250

Rating: 4.9200573 out of 5

Keywords: joshua fluke, code bootcamp, javascript, how to code, web development, brand, developer interview, developer jobs, corporate cringe, divorce, story i dont talk about, entrepreneurship, digital brand, gas lighting, narcissistic mother, narcissist, narcissistic father, disowned by my family, Disowned by my family - The Years Before (Gaslighting) | #grindreel

Id: 5SHbF3oBz2g

Length: 18min 28sec (1108 seconds)

Published: Fri Dec 04 2020