MST3k 614 - San Francisco International

Luers we can find you and watch them all monitor his mind now keep in mind I can't control where the movies begin other signs back he do yourself it's just a show Mystery Science Theater 3000 hi yes yes hello everyone and welcome to the satellite of love today we would like to start our program with a political debate on my left Tom servo and on my right crow T robot and the subject of today's political debate politics gentlemen yes yes yes yes well first of all let me once again state that if we are going to have a democracy we must have a mulching attachment yes but do you not agree that the whole concept of a shampoo and conditioner and one is absurd huh let me answer that sir with a question have you or have you not of a tube to the Apple River with Sally Jessy Raphael deal is a good spice I will not have it malign well you've never even met Mamie Eisenhower have you will have you are you saying that you do ride in a Surrey with a fringe on top gentlemen please surely there must be some middle ground what horseradish does not go with chicken you refuse to even learn about wink Martindale let me restate sir that you are a kindergarten baby you wash your face and gray I'll be right back shut up iris but I just wanna show you your side so my cool one our little political debate no no my friend as long as we furthered an understanding of vital issues then the real winner is the American public yeah so in other words I won you scallywag you wait you nattering nabobs and naysayer you mud whomp you dare sting me with your solo ding-dong oh hey Nelson a whole lot of work going on around here yeah we got a tuck point that old section up there that wall there whoa holy cat that's a project in itself so uh fellas better get busy - you got a lot of work to do fixing up things whatnot we'll meet you down in the mermaid later huh hey Frank what do you think of this wall here well you can take her out of leave her in I guess that's gonna run you about the same hey I want to take some green treated lumber and toenail or an expose ah hell I would long run you're gonna be glad you did well you know guys as long as I got this board here be a good time to wait to the teach of the classic board gag or ever pull their mono it'll be fine it's the old gag or you're over there what's that servo oh you gotta admit it's pretty funny Deb make you that huh yeah right like I could ever get her to do that yeah you know that Deb is fine what's that supposed to mean nothing I'm just saying you know Debbie Deb is private stuff okay okay uh Nelson you're a movie this week San Francisco Internet oh yes emphasis clear national airport they she brought that placement nice guys out real regular guy well back at it hi I see a light mic I'm I'm going down a hallway I I see a light is that you walking with me Jesus haha where is the board please don't hit me with the board again moving all better yeah hey watch out for mountain sized meteor parts very big friggin deal hi I'm snuggles the bear down here wooo San Francisco International Airport where the big be actors roar here wonder if Purnell's going to be older than his dad in this show that Gallagher what sort of name is Cole occur your in-flight movie peerless filmed in panel vision gentlemen time for know Robert Johnson tells me the faulty landing gear warning light is on therefore we will have to take certain precautions who are you exactly what does that mean Jim where's my train warning light means we have to figure on the possibility of the landing gear collapsing it touchdown a little Joe and I will try to rope the plane but San Francisco Terrace is charged four four seven we're having hydraulic problems Macross straight in approach I've got it Roger four four seven cleared the straight an approach runway one right when two eight zero at one Niner and thank you token stand by we haven't alert to emergency in progress conver 990 charter on green hulagur cue the sequel Gulager and Evonne Goolagong with the groovie goolies in the Gulag Archipelago that's me this is alarming Nancy my role I'm Ziggy Stardust should the airport have a volunteer fire department but all by adenoids my shipment of face cream is on that jet about us will cushion your fall David Hartman David Hartman you're guaranteed tv-movie seal right isn't that the airport survey flight the Senate committee aboard wire the Senate committee a couple of congressmen yeah I'll let him pack all my people at the airport have been alerted they'll take every precaution now I suggest that we let this young lady instruct us on emergency procedures where it's never worked where is your seat back to vertical remove all sharp objects from your pockets make certain your seat belts are pulled snug pull the pillow over your face and bend your face down onto your knees press until you no longer move now put some plain aerobics yeah but these guys I'll bet the seatbelts are already too snug hey uh your 747s and they go down and they kind of spread pattern this is San Francisco control tower we have an emergency in progress here's a wondered herzog collects paycheck you know tabatha was Troy Donegal at run Beech Bonanza moment where you are on the taxiway we have an emergency there's that grace like on the runway I'm sorry about the stamps Senator Dumbo was killed today named one of these actors I know Old Hickory nasc I'm guessing people in first class get to cushion themselves with people and cope this every time he lands us to make a big production out of it please the grip themselves into a state of mild concern to cut the tension to the dollar okay get him rational if you have to once more around the horn mommy this is heaven uncle ton knows I believe I had the right of way cheese oh no one comes here by but this is too horrible for words God their credits all over the runway so where's George Kennedy in all of this Lawrence of San Francisco Island spruce any way to run a TV movie you bet it is Tarot at sea level man the cops won't really prompt luggage crew eager know how pieces stuck in the door please pass if you're gonna okay I think we can shake him if we turn this corner here could you just crash a little bit scum on the charred remains gee anybody hurt I hope I'm dead because my pants are full can we see the end of six-pack now may I have your attention for a moment the best way to get stains out of underwear anyone through was a simulation well a standard emergency procedures test that we do with the tower every month there was no real emergency had it been real wouldn't it on Trapper John some of us might not be here now and the number of real emergencies in the future is a few gentlemen my ran on the Appropriations that the Airport Commission is asking for remember what it was like up there a little while ago so give to the Will Rogers Institute fella captain we can head back now I don't really love you I think we all said things we didn't mean I don't expect you to marry me he's they over book the credits you listen closely you can hear the guys beating traffic some crew I just got a message all of your mothers died just kidding I think this is the restored second unit director's cut where'd I leave that neck brace hold the pickles hold the lettuce specialty planing organs to me no really ma'am I got to get off fast I think we're pretty mad I mean I've never spanked a member of the Ponderosa tration your idea Jim it was all right you made your point Oh a little more melodramatically the most necessary I think okay synergistic means ladies and gentlemen the parents of the Beatles when Evans I want to talk time service please hi can we sit on the gym seat of the front girl back to your fiddling Congress I work for an airport I'm sorry I sit on your lap Jim now I'm going to play tricks on the trilateral commission the distinguished senator from California please scooch over Bonilla I would et cetra let me pop I'll pay you want a bagel Doug now that the excitements over it ought to be a fairly routine day except for the federal reserve shipment coming in all Cargo shipment isn't it yeah see you ready for it anyway well we rented a truck how much money in that shipment I don't know don't remember exactly something over a million bucks and all that from the Federal Reserve which you know would have to do in 130 about two and a half hours I'll check back with you ah insert tab a into B movie he's punching out of the movie was arrogant was lust of the dusk others then Johnson didn't stack my locker a poster at Jeffrey hunter in there baby the luftwaffe called Davey I love this windbreaker so much I love you windbreaker you love to eat yeah you're not still packing are you no he's just looking for this why did I marry him um we've got to get started Baum why is the music so poignant I don't want to go you know what I mean yes I know what you mean but they need you in Vietnam she's wearing Appliance green I'll explain it to you again ah you're looser and we're sending you away just that sometimes married people break up because of their kids simply have to live apart for a while apart from their kids I mean you're gonna get a divorce yes and I don't want custody that hasn't been decided although because of you it's very likely do we have to go now you have to go now look we've been through this before come on hurry up David Hartman was really young in this movie come on kid get your act together just read catch her in the Ryan deal with it well they'll always be Battlestar Galactica that'll never be canceled captain howdy will show me the way I'll miss my neo-renaissance lifestyle that my whip record followed by major nails well I'm really feeling my tab today Tab Hunter them down people who don't pay their tabs boy that makes me yearn for a five dollar hot dog huh the keys tab huntin even as we speak hey you know what I'll pick up that tab I'd like to run a tab all over my body hey what do you say we split that tab it's tab time heavy fogs coming in from off the coast the city will probably get it head oh I'm not stay clear here yeah we're gonna go an awful lot airplanes a little while it's gonna be a busy shift now you just get them in I'll try to find some place to put them I could stay at my house never kissed me like that Oh Good Morning America I made for TV love you a minute married David Hartman whoa that was like a beer hi there oh I'm sorry no trouble lady you just drive didn't do it if you want to live I want to live and love and laugh there's an airport fee you know brothers from dealership on porkbelly's are up there cab is just a Spectre in this film thanks for thought um you covens dig me away whoa I don't know but Jenny says he is raving maybe got the commissioners to find me what did you do my job my way mylanta listen if I'm out of work I don't have time to propose and I'll have time to think it over carefully you'll say yes okay said you want to see me once right - and turn at one thing very straight yuen-han and that is it's very simply this if you ever pull another stunt like the one you pull this morning you're going to be finished can you go get involved with him and something like that again you're gonna be fruit - no Kevin's I represent the sheriff of San Mateo County on these premises right now if Jim Conrad here oh you or anybody else breaks the law of that County or this state I'll move otherwise Jim runs the airport and I run the Security Division and as far as I'm concerned it's gonna stay that way you rent a deep TV movie now airport movies are like a watering hole the only movie actors you said it first of all Bob had nothing to do with what I did out there this morning so get off his back a second somebody better do something and fast or we'll all be finished because this Airport will be an antique nobody out there use I know where this facilities needs or about my needs I also know there's a right way to do things and Conrad's way well I am supposed to keep those runways open and all the traffic on I'm moving we've got a closer Buchi resent ative of the Airport Commission you're supposed to see that I have whatever I need to do it now maybe you better start planning some stunts of your own if you don't like mine you can try to justify this morning's escapades all you want to Jim the fact is it's senator Whitman didn't like it he didn't like it at all and as the expression goes you've made your bed you're gonna have to lie in it alone unless I miss my guess well you didn't come to me when you decided to teach that plane load of VIPs a lesson don't expect me to bail you out now that they're gonna come after you you know something cliff Rollo's are my favorite candy I really wasn't counting on you in so eat my dimples okay straight oh yeah I've had 17 outflow room 212 please thank you not silkie Sullivan in the fifth we're there yet yes I'm here I answered the phone these aggressive stewardess recruited so convenient to have a hostage in right near the airport okay go ahead it'll be on time what about adverts adverts in a coffee shop I'll call you back as soon as he leaves he's eating a big bad clock could take a while no no ergo I am Telling You wake me up before you go-go is about the Vietnam War would you look at site please the song is clearly about Bangladesh check it out I'm a greater Oh Aryan gypsy come in here you gotta see this Oh Frank whatever it's not all you've got to do is eat your husband on that line ask him if his refrigerators running okay I can handle three more arrivals between now and two o'clock that's the best I can do oh thanks you saved my neck a lot yet he hasn't you're still gonna have one plane more than you got gates I'll treat the one arrival through the heart as one heaven help you to get behind on your departures featuring state-of-the-art technology yeah Singles ending up into the entire northern end of the state if they're diverting everything down here no I'm not the boy who's upset about the divorce well you a man Jake your pledge may I please beat the captain Ross Edwards this is his wife just a second I don't know that he's still here I admit it's a convoluted way of saying it's urgent I wouldn't know that he didn't say that he might not be here still do your y5 700 raping David Hartman all right honey hi honey Joan tisk tisk Lucas tanner Edwards I've got your wife you never want to see her alive again I can barely hear you we want to call back as far as anyone in that room is concerned I'd better think you're talking to her you understand leave me alone you're suffocating me like that yeah Joan I understand like it when you call me Joan that's real good flyboy will do so if I you're doing just fine you just keep it up and Papa Smurf if you don't we'll know about it the pilots union is tough here's what you're gonna do first have a healthy breakfast gonna hang up that phone and hightail it out of that room just as fast as you can hello hello the main concourse to the men's room Joe Orton will be there inside there'll be a phone ringing don't wipe with it you'd better be the fellow who answers bathroom with a phone it's great it's pronounced elaborate trick to demonstrate the need for men's room phones just a pilot I'm not used to pressure my way now the alien sorry this considered hightailing move out for me I'll take it to the bathroom this hair looks so natural move aside bold one coming through I wish this film was in color I can't look got a restroom I was late 5 or 10 minutes let alone an hour not today I was just too much right away let me get my day timer not if it means your wife's gotta be dead if you don't find a way look I could if I would but good luck great I have a cyst ooh how do I know if I do what you want you're moping all right you got it all wrong flyboy I'm even uglier than you but you should be thinking about is Joan Lunden what's gonna happen to her if you don't delay that flight for one hour well I think that's implied in what I asked one hour not one second last you understand one hour needs more facial hair yeah less face hate deadlines well I got a pop over to the hereo set all orange all the time come use a pool not invade it's SWAT team yeah that's a brilliant touch he wants me to polish the doorknobs well I'm gonna catch a shower don't go anywhere all right whoo so she would actually have to turn the knob to get out odd blood and check it and see were lady your husband's gonna find a way got its dandy time Oh what's now huh Fred Garvin male price between 245 making about turning procedure here's our own lovely 747 sporting a white outfit singular fetching rights right all the way down back MA 21 therefore 7 21 across runway to a Triton hole for landing aircraft just on the sky is brown that's the EPA's private jet I'll shoot my face is still there you just the jiggler whoever when I go a little bit that's why the savior is a [ __ ] yeah that was a tribute merde dear take my purse you know she's got a nice Republican cloth coat sorry you checking all your family members a couple of minutes I want to check that story out with Conrad it's called a heart of darkness hey why don't you go listen to the tower while your mother takes you in you're gonna hear the planes takeoff and land sure dad things suddenly got poignant it's never forgiven me for burning his bra I'll just take this on ah getting divorced huh you well hello I just have to sashay across the airport I'll be back bye mommy look at that man's ears mommy when you eat an ugly man for a small part no not ground transportation whoa pill makes you larger Wow slug bug Oh puppy okay to call the flight Ross sure call the flight Ross loads been computed well there's no problem yet I'd like to get an on-time departure do I'm forgetting all the kidnappings we're putting off what's good I'm going to turn it over to Spencer Christian call 223 now boarding right question 223 of a TV movie Mount Rushmore yeah absolu gosh inside Great Western two to three cleared to take oh it's an elaborate plan to get a drink let's review our cast question 223 even care to tango 223 request taxi back to the gate taxi taxi check so quadrature 23 and make a right turn to the next intersection at home right turning pole you can't sorry guys I forgot my thermos of gin United 27 clear for takeoff Western 4:23 which problem the my places large trouble for you feels mushy and so does the co-pilot III move to the next class to run as real smart that that blows time now in a real emergency a heavily loaded jet would get off the runway looking like you know wait a minute 223 is returning to the terminal but that's doesn't affect our drinking I'm gonna get down here cuz if he wants that load I'm gonna have to find him a gate here I'll finish this for ya not rush it'll be a while yet Western Airlines flight 223 it's been trading to the terminal because David Hartman thought it felt mushy how will you make it on your own what well hey somebody left a pie tin on the fence the perfectly good I was hoping we wouldn't take off honey I met Bob Dole since we've separated I hate all the frozen glasha oh I'll just go see what's causing the delay we'll be in the lounge fine now some Scotch is a good breakfast drink Martin Milner airline mechanic you ever think of cheese in the oil David Hartman is a met with face and eyes for this milf oil as far as I'm concerned this gear is in perfect condition then you fly it that nose wheel struts mushy well all kinds of girl stuff interview when you ran it onto the apron perfect but hadn't I've been in there finding out why and stop mouthing off and start doing just that what time in a month wait a minute Edward we got a problem you put into the sport Conrad this an airline matter got nothing to do with Airport business when this Airport is jammed up with planes and I got no place to put on that's Airport business and it's my business to make sure that anything I apply passengers in is 100% safe I'm saying that nosewheel didn't feel right you're chief mechanic doesn't agree that's right the final responsibility is mine not his and that plane doesn't move until I know that nosewheel safe for landing I understand that Ross there are those rewrites this flight isn't loading in 15 minutes I'll have to have a towed out of here and over to the shops it's the kidnap your wife will be back after this bye Menon it's a miracle a miracle Virgin Mary in my face off look at that just look at that it's a miracle I didn't lose my sight in that eye a quarter of an inch higher and I would have mr. wonder when the chair seat over here and if you like I'll get a doctor down here to take a look at your right there's nothing for a doctor to do it's a black eye it's an eye of color live with it and try to explain how I got it why don't you do that why don't you tell me what happened well I don't see how you can allow a young hippie type like that to go around punching people in an airline poster wonder if we don't allow hippies anybody else to start fights at this Airport except Jackson Browne if you just please tell me what happened well actually I fell against the coffee table again well every Friday I go down and checked my company's books in the Los Angeles branch it's a dirty habit I know well 40 commuter flight down there and I usually manage to make it back in time for dinner man MacGyver Boris well today I arrived here at the terminal I I had a few minutes to spare so I I went over to the candy counter to pick up a pack of diet gum I mean for Fatso's my wife is after me to lose some weight anyway I'm standing there waiting in the line you know there's always a little crowd there and one cashier and I'm waiting and all of a sudden this dirty looking long-haired creep with a guitar on his back Shawn fellow elders his way right in front of me in the line he couldn't wait his turn like the rest of us that's when the fight started it wasn't any fight I just told him he could go to the end of the line like any decent citizen would what happened then and he told me what I could do mostly character roles I don't think I have to tell you what that was it involved my bottom and he shoved me out of the way again he paid the cashier and then just took off just like that you know Jesus wasn't happy but and then there just as I was about to board my flight I saw him sitting over there in the Delta Airlines waiting area plucking that guitar of his playing a guitar in an Airlines terminal singing mr. pochomil just to him and I got him up on his feet and I was gonna tell him exactly what I think of people like him and and then he hit me right there went then he knocked me down on the ground my briefcase fell open the papers went all over the place and even broke my glasses look at that and that's when the officer stepped in and brought you here all right yeah bald aren't you all right Joe get the boy please hey were you and Carter country you mean you're not gonna keep him locked up well it's not locked up dude the room right there in the room I'm gonna hear your side of the robber you can stay where you are if everybody now let's meet our hippie names William stirred up at age 22 occupation student although he's a made-for-tv hippie like peace man student no thanks man jeez dad Buddha study guitar you uh know any Donovan you don't know how to play that thing what I like this planet you know and uh nice planet no Yngwie Malmsteen William yeah what brought you to the airport with him possible friend what else am I looking for jokes looking for some pop would any of your work I mean where am I going yeah well there's this music festival up in West bridge Virginia and nice well what happened between you and this man I don't know really flipped out now wait a minute I do not flip out my fries you say that well I was just sitting there when this suit cat dude you're sitting there right cool you know melih sad it's mine in your own business all of a sudden this dude's all over you so well I mean he's got to be flipped out huh yeah why didn't you expect some kind of trouble after what happened at the candy counter I'm not following you my friend no way listen you don't remember shoving him with the candy Kelly getting them with a marathon bar I don't know nothing about nothing about no candy counter that's a truth that's the truth are you just gonna sit there into him lie to you like that she's lying mr. Woodruff of course he is I told you what really happened what are you gonna believe me or someone like that why don't you just sit down mister sit down please mr. Woodruff looks like a roll-on deodorant now if you weren't shoving this man around at the candy counter about 10 minutes ago what were you doing I was all hung up over in the other concourse I believe I had good side Airlines hung up paid my hypnotist a I bought this ticket two weeks ago to go to the Music Festival and when I get here this morning they tell me I can't get on the plane because something's wrong with whatever is always wrong with them and the Moshi they booked me into a Delta flight and to come over here I came over here oh-ho-oh mall anybody want to get high oh you got a dry mark Ford oh boy no the man's coming down I guess there's just no justice left in this country at all huh meet the new boss mm-hmm I mean when a hippie Punk like this can go around punching people in the face and breaking their glasses and then get away with lying to the law about it Givi lang he's not gonna get away with it anybody's got as much right to be heard as you do now this hippie straight out of Brigadoon look at him yeah she eat my oven southeastern Pacific does have an aircraft temporarily out of service don't read books several passengers we instead event or two deltas flight 21 ha listen Sturdevant picked up his ticket at their counter on the North concourse when two minutes ago Oh while you at the candy counter in the south cut off of your face with diet gum I think you can still make that Delta flight if you get moving gotcha the answer my friend is blowing out your ass hmm hey man you're out of sight where I pee ready collected ready hey Laura what's up chief I don't want to leave there's no need to do this how many times I want my wife I want my son my maypole not as much as you want to be the one man whose column can cure the sickness of an entire city or create a Cinderella overnight that's good can I use that that's what you want that's what you really want it isn't you're wrong sure my work is important to me and it's important to a lot of other people too sometimes very important I understand that I really do hey more Reba but what I can't understand is why your work has to be your entire life why there's never any room left for Davey and me I can't control when a story's breaking you stay you don't get to the top and this business worrying about getting home at 5:30 you're on the top level at the top of me that cub reporter I am NOT in this bring in a new problem you don't have to beat every paper to every story your let's discard the most important columnist in this city perhaps the most influential man and not because I care about what I do I'm sleeping with her opinion I wouldn't want you to be any other way rub-a-dub-dub thanks for the grub yeah but they have to do you have to cover every story do you have to make the rounds of all the bars at all the parties you have to look like that something important happens you'll hear about it everybody wants to tip Buster's got to his latest scoop everybody wants to know you to be a foul and nobody doesn't like Sarah Lee don't you understand so today V&A I don't know this David isn't fair you're asking me to choose you and Davey or my work work wins work doesn't pick and pick it I've got to get to my depression class I just think that we're entitled to part of your time just enough so we can feel like natural wound for a family again nope not work and sell it more perhaps if we had a child Wow mom and dad are really going at it because US and Israeli commandos Ariel aratus ISM they've got planes here yeah taking that one to the impound lot this is always a national 8:21 where is to examine Cisco in ten minutes Roger e21 you're number three - laughs I can don't find some thread holy cow win - eight five one five Rodgers emphasis ball I call it the automaker was 821 Claire listen to John tower 25 cents going my way it's gonna have black rings around his eyes now Robert says to this movie is Chad Everett is the Medical Center case the end of God oh oh you see that's so interesting airplanes yeah I know what you mean you know you're only pretty lucky you get to be around them all the time yeah you're right I am pretty lucky at that no love in my life car that was pretty new Jack neo ass there that's a 747 it's it's really groovy are you high oh yeah when I tuck up those wheels and go you know a lot about plays really something I'm gonna go see the room rooms guess you're kind of disappointed your flight didn't take off huh no I I was really kind of glad Harris that's clearly I am kind of thought flying was your favorite pastime oh I like to fly absolutely but slight notes I'm all that stuff inside well my mom and I are going away my dad isn't coming you know what I mean oh so your mom's available it was kind of hoping that maybe they'd get back together but yeah I see what you mean Steve are you familiar with moralities helpless my dad just doesn't get much time off in that paper hint I'm not wearing a toupee yeah well it's probably your fault Ines these things kind of work themselves huh not this one just have to kind of hope for the best maybe if you were out of the picture obviously gee I hope there's a bell tower to where we're moving to meanwhile on a buffalo bill set she gets too hungry Fortran substantiate hello muddah yeah I I hope so Miss miss Barrett it's a miracle you have an employment with the BOE director of airport public relations and um I'm not going arrange a field trip to the airport for my boys at st. Charles I don't care well I'm sure they'll enjoy that my my problem is I need woman so god I can't seem to find this gentleman's office would you mind showing me where it is Oh course not it's just down the hall jeez ever since Vatican 2 these guys take it nice and easy is a New Testament in town you know all the church will do is move this guy to another parish down this hole press their guard give me trouble that guards a dead man what old porno keno and I said this field trip was for my boy to st. Charles I meant the choir improv it's not easy to to get kids to practice these days I'm constantly trying to find outside activities for them okay father why the gun okay last month I took him to Zoo well they hated it they told me I wasn't a hit let's head for that elevator it seems that uh the zoo isn't the in place for the 11 to 14 group but basically they're good kids full of Miss Judy holding your heart you know it's God's work and the best choir in the diocese look I'll go along with the hostage thing but this constant banter captain kirk are we going to mr. Tyler it's meat how they decorated the airport and sort of an airplane motif third level of hell please hmm pretty cute for a priest aren't they want you'll find out forgive me Father for I have sinned I have rubber nails to pay all over my naked body you scared gonna cry a baby huh you do what I tell you till you go right I'm beginning to doubt you're a priest this is why they should let priests marry remember we're husband and wife I have anything to do with Judas Priest choose wisely monogamous yeah got to get the fences back in last wall I'll grow back real nice this is the shot to use for the album cover so do the Jesuits carry guns too can I call you sometime going over there you're going to get the keys to one of the airport cars mm-hmm anyone says anything your boss told you to drive me though side of the field you got that I need more subtext good that's good hey I got an idea why don't we take two cars and I'll just meet you there look honey I don't want to hurt you if I have to nice name is about as menacing as Wally Cox mobo 7bo the Carlton feel immediately maybe right turn at the next intersection to go straight back to the terminal this is rank it is now get the car out of there the car is not moving Frank Union yeah at this moment I'm uh I'm holding a gun mana on a Miss Katie Barrett love operated a you're lying how do I know you really got her hold her face up to the radio don't be stupid recognize the dye job what are you gonna do son what am I supposed to do keep all traffic in the air and on the field normal I'm um I'm watching the field and I know the routine funny pitch I'm the hostage when he touches down you tell him to go to the end of the runway whoo you got that I've got it I can't wait till Reagan thousands anybody starts toward this car this girl's in big trouble that guy's one of the best lookers-on in the business run up to these Southern Luzon neppy pappardelle now we're okay he's on his final now she's a mess you got Arby's alive but no this is always national 8:21 over the other boundary Roger a 21 third to last to pay engrave we've they're cops with the Elk River High School Marching Band overseas national 821 takes you to the run of Madison a runway to eight right now I see the tilde they do it you doll now remember when I scared those congressman Lenny win so did you get that tome apart looks like dr. Zaius even after dr. Zaius suit going to get my ball back nope no we're gonna banner check clue there's something wrong again there's no reason for him just to sit out there like that especially when he's got three million dollars on board Tama look gunshot ever call you radio provided by place and dodge coordinates are there what's that car doing it's cool about 30 I guess mobile for mobile for where you are please do you mean your car there's a guy dressed like a priest walks into a bar listen attorneys holding her down on Katy Perry I think you kill her we don't do what he says they're after my to pay but our why you girls and us with no one we're aware of the situation don't just leave that thing in the middle of the intersection move that battleship you're telling we're not moving yes Kat is in there somewhere so that ha sky pretty nicer sir what did your bag look like sir you can't just don't punch a popin machine head there dials plugins please I'm gonna call for the switchboard operator and you won't hear operator get me San Francisco International M she is pure TV movie pretty good my laundry a different shirt out of here why are you separating the operating this was happening could you get me my office please Oh finally my new checks sergeant doctors yeah this is heading don't stop to ask me any questions why not the guy dressed like a priest totally walked in little bar on red secretary in Mobile seven right in front of the tower I don't want you guys lay a hand on him until you sure she's safe you got that yes sir Russia albums whoo this guy overpass I want you to cordon off the whole airport that Street side field side the whole airport you let cars in nothing out I mean absolutely nothing goes out till I pass the word please no international smuggling all so much heavy liftin yeah get in touch with San Mateo and you tell the sheriff that we may call on it you got that down all right you keep this line open okay bye man of the second hundred they just need change for a ten put me through to the fire department right oh that's always nice to steal the in-flight magazines Conrad here send one of the trucks out as fast as you can to the Northwest boundaries there's a break in the fence clock it slowly polish doctrine were more than liberal it's kept doing this food once you're doing nothing yet Tony zerbies house he's having a brunch great crunches - sounds like the Avengers are here crank it up we're moving he's moving move moving kind up in he's heading for the terminal you stay away oh that's my ringtone come on come on baby let's roll yes sir this is contract parking do you have it my head is spinning it's all happening too fast jeez baptism to get to him in a church social mood Frank he's gone right I'm okay I'll have to dock you for this Conrad he's loose we're on the way to the cargo liner yes you better slow that Mustang down just whenever after work with Gregory Harrison just taken more hostages and his ears are still ticking mainly Julie beep whoa and I got this covered Longstreet let's go find somebody else to shoot so what exactly did you do on the Ponderosa Texico guys you see a priest around here anywhere in the past few minutes tell who we want to get married benedicted ah my new hair pieces are in so this is Denver's new baggage handling system huh yep it's plain all right boxes like these are real good when you're moving you know okay Scott forgive the interruption that doesn't like you know that somebody just robbed a cargo flight on the runway post at three million necklace just want to take a few minutes of it right back but I can't get a pulse sure kid get those new glasses security of humanity guard each other dad but no comment nobody the airport loves me I'm making of a terrorist like the awards we've got the owner of the girl tofu is positive the magazines are it is okay get back to you if I need you little mill belches her empty so they got the money I don't know how my god yeah the guy went over the fence he wasn't carrying any three million dollars with it hardly and all we found in the car was old magazines so where's the money I said you could close up this area in a matter of minutes right right all right they get the money but they probably know they can't get out of the area with it what do they do they don't try I think better over here they transfer that money right out there onto a box already on the plane the box had mailed earlier addressed to themselves a box loaded with old magazines we're gonna have us a lot of hustling here it is more before have somebody weigh those magazines right now please mumbles want us to waive magazines now will you be my daddy one pound okay hi we look at your magazines box big enough to hold 41 pound magazines I'm going to take a pretty sturdy box maybe even a wooden who was shorted with perb thighs Wow chicory farm gift back okay enough with a significant look before you'll know as soon as I get a postal inspector ID tonight on postal inspector how will you know then that's when we open the box mm-hmm I love you play I'll pretend I'm fighting the Cylon Empire that's perfectly normal it's prettier that likes me this is what lonely people or psyche like he'll fly away and become Jimmy Osmond he didn't see a pair of sunglasses on the ground did you not my parents are divorcing you know if I find your sunglasses will you love me no sunglasses at citizencon lawrence Hilton Jacobs back there no this nose grease anywhere their Berman buckskin mannequin is the opulently appointed San Francisco Airport I got a spider myself all over the tarmac to impress dad God did that my name it's like something you get out of cereal box I gotta get a hold of myself I was on the 12th level of Dungeons and Dragons movie just staggers from one commercial break to another whoo he's got Palmolive hands how come here open and closed a heavy crate like this so fast you only out there what three or four minutes maybe this is your answer dummy screw another challenged things know not to give to daddy coming about a minute excuse me Mexican for lunch that's nothing and selling this thing down it's the dummy screws hot steamy hardware entry they should just get Schneider to do this would you just open it Pernell Roberts inclu Gallagher the new stars of home time don't I don't see any money help them there now looks like we're drinking tonight now they have enough for a Streisand ticket maybe not how long does it take cross the Mexico from El Paso on maybe five minutes let's do it road trip boom bad setup the Box goes on to the next flight to El Paso which they've booked aboard as passengers three hours later they claim their package at the El Paso area Freight man head for the port with three million in cash except we only have one flight to El Paso today and that was scheduled to leave before this arrived which explains Ross Edwards Moschino wheel and 223 its delay not normally what would you do with a package of medical supplies like this mock agent I put it on the next flight to El Paso that's just me than if I told you that westerns 223 was delayed and hasn't left yet I put it on that flight okay take the money out close it up and I want to get me and Russian over to 23 thanks for the scene you want to film you know what you guys are doing yeah there are two teas and Hatton right let's have it where when I get back to my office I'm going to get in touch with El Paso and I'm gonna have them pick up whoever call for that package and I'm gonna happen pick up Ross Edwards I'll wait here Smurf give your left come on I wish they were my wife and kid I've always been beamed in yes they check and Banacek battle to save coal shape the fisher-price airport set with weepers oh yes my luggage it's not a very busy day at the San Francisco International I've been thinking of getting some of them bunny ear muffs what about you he's from the land of misfit toys handsome rat serum the new CD from Rush yep my luggage yep take a hard look at what you married he's got a nice personality that a new scarf and this movie it's far with meaningful looks for our lives is Andy Capp I got one of these boarding things let's head on in I mean how much do I really love my wife and child and he went seen a screwed up kid you can check your mom I'm going to love you less now Davi here's my dysfunctional but mother wait I think my sunglasses are under the floor mats it's a mad mad mad mad mad mad world Oh try a little messy divorce on runway to read ercoupe crossing the taxiway hold your position do you read know the occasional magazine but the bread ercoupe do you read some type of book I wouldn't consider myself being such what are you Turkish pastors there's a kid flying well shoot him down all right ready hi cool I gotta say I never been a big circle fan huh huh huh oh yeah me too not really that funny I guess yeah I mean this Laura anyway that's it that's him she's the Buerkle control smoking by control I already like planes up any any instructors on the training area ah too much Jeff crapping anybody holding for takeoff no maybe sit sit down for a minute how much gas in mind remember I let's roll it out service is a highly experimental aircraft controlled by your mind not a good idea you have a question for my face this is Captain Edward speak I'm sorry for this delay but the tower has asked us to room yelling it's a game through few minutes because of an emergency they tell us the young boys accidentally taken off in a small plane when some elves are transporting Nazis to the mill do hold our positions until I can get the Amsterdam we'll keep you informed thank you hey Dave why the long face Mike how'd you get that drink so fast it's Fergie running from the press you'll never catch me coppers drive implores I'll get the net around the car that's right honey cause he's the flying boy leading Oh like you did normally I'd stay with me Frank I'm gonna have to try to get that kid done myself tape 6-0 you're 30 come on Parnell you're in charge of the vending machine turkey vultures are returning the only reason that thing's still in the air some of those little ones pretty near fly themselves I forgot to take my Dramamine this theme song is art the hump man back then everybody violates our airspace we've got to take him down well yeah I save all my Aquino head on demand gum before they know what's happening yeah this is the only picture whistling to find a John Edwards it's taken a dick Christmas party last year she'sa want my bike dress wow wow wow which put your signature on this keep it up the veil thanks vomit son really like in San Francisco International that's what feeding time I'm not going to forget this ever and you haven't heard the last of this either where do we go to series then subplots keep washing ashore he's got Pablo Casals in the back he's very John Shakuni inherits tonight on Eyewitness News or whistles locked on ready determined Davee all those people down there are getting worse because of you Davee climb out where we're going to switch planes okay I'm so high bye-bye sucker you're going to die down there he wants me to do kuroky no no too dumb no eat it it's good I forget is your little right get a hold of the air coupon and fight off with radius standby Jim I've got the owner on the phone now he wants to know where the radio is it's at my aunt's house okay I've got it what frequency do you keep it um but he goes down in Sausalito thanks stay where you are when you we may need you again right do you read Jim gets behind the right-hand seat it keeps it tuned until our frequency got it how do I get rid of the piece now doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo it's my wasn't he the little girl in the cow suit often stuff help me taking I'm gonna shave my back - hey yes sir I can hear you okay good that's half the battle - what's your name Davy Davy Scott last man you'll ever [ __ ] be Davy I need to know where your dental records are what we got to do is get you back to New York yes sir I know hey just pay attention do what I tell you logger into the bay okay we got one thing going for us me that's the easiest plane to fly ever made simple like a car turn the wheel left to go left right to go right Oh have you got that yes sir I understand I have a car and I fling left right to go right forward down pull back to go up okay now that's the older model you're flying the new one which is really complicated now just for the hell of it let's go under the bridge okay spindle just what I tell you man of course say your prayer just trying to keep your wings parallel to the horizon oh don't do that Oh God just kidding those people down there once the people you've disappointed Davey now let's try a gentle turn to the right okay okay with the plane Davey's right just a little easy now we're gonna guide you into some power behind agree just trying to give you wings parallel to the horizon I'll pretend you're Buddy Hackett and Mickey Rooney where's the bobbitt bag that's good perfect if you want a doll okay well there you go I'm going to split off here Davey oh and Devi when you die there's only a dark nothingness no no not so close to me go all comedians put your notebooks away I just don't think we should open our peanuts this my ears are big want to play Yahtzee or something we're going to bomb that battleship back there Oh Davy if you like vegetarian there's a restaurant right down there great vegetarian elbows in control Heil reasonable - good boy Dave you're doing faces of those you've wronged we'll be floating up on your left now we got to get ready to set it down you know what yes sir don't touch again no I'm sorry I want you to pull it halfway out know the throttle and just as we touch the ground all the way up and wiggle it sure I can do it bad an evil person I want you to cut the engine right after you pull the throttle join them and knock them both down I'll fight the wheel stay let's keep it with get in the left-hand Lane watch your vor if you file a flight plan ingredient and then get your log sheet out now keep going till you run out of gas I'm going to let you do this first I'm not really sure what to do after this baby you're going to meet a man in a black robe wanting to play chess with you look down or to the side just close your eyes feel it tilt just means you're way over the other way just keep your eyes straight no one told her no the Devi had the IQ of a box a little to the left Dave well a lot to the left steady we've got a tandoor can't we leave baby probably wanted to tell you but this is a federal offense stealing a plane no well that's the end of lesson one now tomorrow we'll actually land I just try to keep your wings level very good I was a hostage to say my way I'm trying to land we need the ironic I know died in a fiery crash lays on the ground a boy very good please the will for day more he won that Center lies steady news easy-easy in touch you lambda so you obviously have no desire to land baby now yank that throttle update before you do that got a day went down now let's try that again Wow we're stuck with him I never get to see anyone die west 31 your third glass get a crew out there to move those planes off the runway please it's cleaning legal in this country her nails got a built-in grimace da da da da da da da da I did it for Jodie Foster hi Daddy give me a lift huh it's saved no man hell no people are gonna hate you for quite a while Davey Danny let me introduce you to these federal agents they are what you young people pointless bad asses these planes on the runway said you can baby in the car by the way if you're Lloyd Bridges is replacing you when we go to series here's your script you'll be playing black woman I'm playing I clogged it up pretty bad back there almost oh that right up there Oh lately thank you very much appreciate jack yeah all right oh here it is I'm sorry that stuff is Ellery thank you did you see that the way they helped that boy down that's it oh you're under yeah boy will never forget never oh yes sorry boy they got it now safely head on my telling you were to break for me because if it hadn't been for this delay and have never made this flight and if I'm not it but El Paso oh I'm sorry I have to play sweet cakes on the floor and also the Rooskies run this plane Hey let's see that gun drop away move your peanuts easy I already paid for my dad's why'd you hit Joyce right on your feet some kid on standby very much to daily routine they do and watched over by a South American dictator sweat I got a ride in a taxi towards kid foster home it's like a dense smog rolling in traveler I'm glad to see you made it I think she means it elsewhere at the airport clue and tab are hugging this changes nothing son I don't know how to thank you or you hold them we'll punch I'll try I'm sorry for what Davey did and I can assure you we'll make certain it never happens again well now look I am I'm not so sure we should late Dave I mean he's what 13 14 but we'll try method very inclined to blame the people who didn't have enough time to keep track on him nah yeah well I'll be sure and let those people know the Dodds told me to do it does this fight mean I've officially solo oh no I don't think I try to lock down Monday as a matter of fact if you make another unauthorized flight you'll never get your license now we know what that they have now doing yes we do now belch na is well goodbye good luck little our pal see the tube and I know guys still got it excuse me you're under arrest just gonna take you to a federal building here that's never have kids honey ah the unauthorized flight has really brought this family together mr. Scott thought it was close but we managed to get them off just before they buttoned up for claim can I give you any help no sir we want to do this ourselves your mom carry these throw it we don't need a tip back here anything international boy that's going down insane ditch him at the gate oh wait how come he's not in jail laughs yep they were going to make me God that I was too good-looking what was Evans through all of this wow I forgot to tell you he was called a town for an urgent meeting of the Airport Commission thanks of eating the whole Commission just to write out my pink slip okay well not this time apparently they told him to bring a cause breakdown for the proposed new runway he seemed Senator Whitman likes men who are willing to take a stand is there not a call find out where you were you're right on the concourse now what we got here I think they call themselves the old passional medical for winners not all of them ah that's three out of three triple tab get it 23400 how's John Edwards gonna be all right doctor gave her sanity in roster go home bill Harper's taking his flight you know one of these days you're gonna have to tell me how you did all this I can't tell you that that's police work a secret police work you're gonna watch this guy I rather at the sip of tabs call Julie baby no what I can't go and they'll all be going to sunny California now stay tuned for the name of the game whoo vulgar is Gilligan in Gulliver's Travels this baby's really raised my awareness level here me to nightly to care for some foolish be sure to worship at me hair part of your choice sounds like King Friday music rushers will now be going through the audience taking donations for the Will Rogers Institute boy Institute I must say I found that film rather disappointing yeah unbalanced I'd say I have to agree yes its exploration of the inherent conflict between order and creativity was both flawed and perfunctory a mere pastiche and yet I do feel it managed to convey one profoundly enduring idea oh what's up David Hartman is an ugly ugly man oh yeah right excuse me but I found that last remark really uncalled for the very idea of judging a person by their physical appearance I mean really oh my mr. sensitive well I suppose he has a point and anyway you know we got a couple of letters to read your wife so hey Tom runs for me the first one well I'd love to let's see what we have here from David Williams it's right there on his letterhead a Crayola letter dear satellite of love you know I had a dream about you Hank he had an awesome dream a la lion are we are the Tom servo crow gypsy cambot all of you guys are funny notice he didn't mention Mike is not funny I'll get back to her soon thank you very much we'd love to make more robots in the future no no no no definitely your friend David W PS I'm nine it's good information to know sometimes we all feel 90 put the picture up on still store they're really the q29 huh and it says for gypsy scrapbook yeah I'm gonna cue so we'll have to make her one yeah it's a great idea and we have one more letter this is from Rob Myers and he says dear satellite of love I was flipping through the local paper last week and came upon a photo of some ancient hieroglyphs I was shocked to discover that one of the figures bore an uncanny resemblance to crow we're gonna have better lol crow robot ass or something yes you guys me at all but anyway thanks for that nice picture and time why don't you work give them the address okay son any inflammation you might have to the Mystery Science Theater information club post office box 5325 Hopkins Minnesota five five feet or three and say Clayton um can I ask is there something unusual about your ears my ears no there's nothing unusual about my ears why do you ask well I don't know maybe it's my imagination but they do kind of look sort of a little maybe well large more large what do you mean large ears have a tendency to grow slightly as one ages but it's perfectly normal and hardly noticeable large haha Frank be a dear and push the button will you sorry I didn't hear that haha my job my way

Channel: analogkid01

Views: 667,717

Rating: 4.805397 out of 5

Keywords: MST3k

Id: RYX1UYLbF7c

Length: 92min 47sec (5567 seconds)

Published: Sat May 28 2011

Reddit Comments

[u/gf120581]

Can I just praise this whole episode quick? I didn't see this one until fairly recently, but it's quickly become a favorite. Especially the last half hour that focuses on the stupid kid in the plane and Pernell Robert's attempts to get him to land. It may be the best stretch of black comedy they ever did. The verbal pummeling they give Davey would be downright awful if it wasn't so funny.

"See all those people down there? Those are the people you've disappointed, Davey."

"Davey, I'm going to need your dental records."

"Davey, all those people down there are getting divorced because of you."

"Oh and Davey, when you die, only a black nothingness awaits you."

[u/catladykk]

Your username is fantastic. That’s one of the best episodes of sgc2c.

[u/catladykk]

Oh you want the time travel spinning head? Do you mister?