MST3k 610 - The Violent Years

the worst we can find you'll have to sit and watch them all and we'll monitor his mind now keep in mind I can't control where the movies begin or end try and other science back he do yourself it's just a show I should be just relax Mystery Science Theater 3000 well I don't know hi everyone welcome to satellite of love we're just kind of sitting around waiting for Tom Clerval where the heck isn't that guy anyway what's he up to said he had something to show us oh boy I can hardly really impressive epoxide Joe yeah I feel like a new man oh I know what you're thinking Cary Grant right I can see that sure maybe a little touch of Seinfeld ha ha ha you know I'm weighing several new career options on the politics TV news huh I'm even considering franchising the lush it's been a series of infomercials hey kids you gotta get ahead get a hand don't mess up the hell I know what it is Mike you're threatened by my good looks is that it yeah I was alone with the world to tame I was evil but feeling blue looking around talking to clowns never guessing it I'd find you working the fryer I was never a crier I had a void in the shape of you looking for love open for evil all's I got was chicken cordon bleu Prada be we were living in deep 13 nobody knows what would me in the world with our heads in a swirl and it's key there thank you thank you Thank You Frankie folks at home Mike little friends you're gonna be seeing a lot of changes around here we're softening to reach a wider audience that's right and as the world is enchanted with our whimsy we'll slowly take over their minds what a food but first we need you guys to help out by writing your own theme songs you know to increase your share so go ahead give it a try oh goody goody goody goody goody goody Oh can I go first please guys gonna go for real please private my themes are ready since infancy now finally someone has a good sense to request it okay if you're that eager to help dr. Forrester hey I can't stop you Oh toe stop Oh understand sir hey I think the Cottagers flights back there is oh I'm sorry I thought that was the end I'm sorry okay as long as we're stopped crow dive in theme song what uh la la la la la la bro la la la la la la la la la la la crow that's it yeah that's good okay I liked especially that one part okay Nelson let's hear it yeah oh I don't have one glad technical tip well I'll save your bacon Mike mm-hmm Mike my mama my mama Mike Mike Mike Mike Mike Mike Mike my mom my bike my mom Oh Mike Mike Mike Mike Mike Mike no live I my Mike Mike Mike Mike mom ho my my momma Mike Mike Mike Mike Mike my MA I'm Ike okay great thanks thank you for saving my bacon no problem yeah there it is there's the theme songs hope you like my yes yes miss those are good my mom of a mind glove of a man at least we're all on my same page my mama Mike Mike anyway Nelson I love Kramer well you know I owe your movie Mike we my gears metallic mama bad mom um uh Mike buddy was written by Edwards so made out your favorite pair of Palms then have a ball verse Mike there's a little short like my friends a jam handy young man's fancy crinkle-cut potatoes that little character was in cats wasn't he well you know she's got a darling dragon her figure Wow this is too titillating wheeler to watch this oh she's listening to her D minified as teens did lush orchestral arrangements 12 o'clock and time for the headlines of the latest views of the day according to the latest bulletin ironing can be deadly how the sounds coming on almost ready they're so easy to do easy your dad can put them together and do a dandy broiling job on them dad kind of fancied himself quite a cook since we got our electric range mmm pretty good at it too that's how Coco today it'll just take a few seconds to get up to you know I'll told I'll be half a sec mother the space can it be like if we had an electric eye on her like Sally's mother has of course it would and I'm looking forward to having an electric drive until she blind Justin then we'd have a complete electric laundry wait what goodbye all wash day that's what I wish really come on now if you watch you feel better fine I think they're both trying way too hard another lonely Thanksgiving um no cling free you know Kate yeah when all the feds are numbing my emotions hmm oh I just love bacon crisp and crunchy like this yeah evidently God will be here food no one's gonna take it away from you besides me but it's really awful I'm so good whatever happened to my pet Vietnamese pot-bellied pig mmm mom what sex I almost forgot a letter from Bob another minute David coming home tomorrow yes you brought to say you're feeling a friend with him What did he say about a friend I mean did he 12 dark and handsome I hope I'm horny is what he says alex is a real great guy even though he's serious-minded and talks in all his classes he is my soul mate got a job lined up for the construction gang and I knew you wouldn't mind if he spent a few days with me since it's the end of the term hey so pretty girl Alex has little time for girl uh-oh I knew it nobody doesn't even Dan and his clever woman hater in his way shame him for pete's sake let you know that goon brother of mine would bring home something that lives under a rock Judy I do wish you'd speak English like normal human beings yes I'm sure mr. Phipps is a very nice young man I know but just because bob is a book cook no reason you have to bring another one home with him that we received well there's a special message for you I love you and be sure and tell Judy to keep her grimy little paws off of my friend he's got no time for baby he's not Jerri signing it what's his name again George Kaplan Alexander Phipps Alexander Pitt sounds revolving sounds Montclair Monty never made my dear brother think I'd be interested in the character with a name like that well you throw yourself at any faster Alexander Phipps is concerned he'll be left alone permanently alone and with the greatest of pleasure more food hide the pain more monster but patty old Aziza sides a girl conceived from Brooklyn Hinz hey wow the crazy is a book Hey the young Millie helper chronic daddy is it about time you brought destiny undress well that's a matter of opinion go put on a dress before they get here half her hip okay but nobody named Alexander Phipps whatever notice what yeah if you're named Alexander Phipps it's just over for you Wow the bacon truck is here Oh tonight's the night mom what do you care remember his name is Jesus Chip and Dale would you just get anything hi mom I'm back from the 20s he had good to be home had to be Robert McNamara this is Alex hello Eric we're very happy with it oh thank you mrs. Adams it's nice of you to have me it's nice to be had wait a minute don't tell me you're the twin without the Tony yeah go sit on a carrot yet crap uh Alex is the little sister I was telling you about Judy Alexander Phipps how do you do mr. fit so nice you could come well thanks Judy and the name is Alex Zander Phipps did you guys have your lunch come on mom I didn't want to miss another one of your meal besides we want to catch a shower I'll have everything ready by the time you get back join us later if you want mom oh how about doing a hot biscuit to yours me my god I think it Judy will make them for you Judy I didn't know she could biscuit you find out oh that sounds real good Hank see also prefers huh well no no we take your moves your baby angel I think I will throw on a dress more ladylike don't you think so yes dear but Alexander Phipps will never notice that you're a doll now make the biscuits you can hardly see where you bit me sure do get a smooth shape with a Selectric razor hope your dad won't mind yeah how you all mind Abed y'all has let me use it when I'm love that's a swell guy you'll like it just don't use this razor he goes ballistic Hey you're not running out of hot water are you what I said you're not running out of hot water are you I stayed under quite a long time Wow I don't worry about that way do you feed the electric water heater dad got it but loaded now we are playing a hot water all the time that sounds fun I gotta get out of here hey Bob yeah I thought you said your sister was just a little kid she must be 40 but a bull yet she's still a little Monday I'm the Beastmaster there now I look like mom well thank goodness for my electric dress where's the fire extinguisher you'll never touch you Terry you're dirt hey you look mighty pretty and I thought my redder saw it away how about that food Oh is that all you can think of it a turn like this you mean lunch time don't change the subject I ought to wring your smug little neck what's the matter now what have I done duteous serious-minded what are you talking about tops in all his classes point counterpoint Bob Judy alex is really a guy who has little time for girl now wait a minute let me explain and a woman-hater to boot I think you're a thinker no don't have to have brothers I love you too now simmer down sit it's the truth Alex really has no time for girls especially you flattery will get you nowhere just driving direct don't hate women oh hi hi Alex I know you're hungry you'll be eating in a jiffy oh my new kidney one of them InSinkErator they make with the job rods funny I like make your table though sorry too much adalat come on mr. Travis buddy that's now gone no travel at all our everything so easy with an electric range after me I'm prejudiced the food tastes better to say I hate to be carne beautiful what's cookin you thief - OH mom knows how you love it wonderful it's my favorite dish yeah used to be my favorite dish geez you got a claw hammer or something I can work on this one hey the electric phone dad's calling from Chippendales I got two shows he won't be home more Similac dear did he arrive man who positively friend he runs around screaming oh cool I'm Jonah tall good-looking it already hurts around schools it at all the time uh-huh drives a real chapter convertible you really have it and I wanted honey look at me I get you know that's nice BAM I just try to sell my majesty oh that's a wonderful idea have my way with her okay bye let's do was really a production mrs. Adams can we help with the dishes uh-uh no KP duty around here dodging we got Dame's to do that quickly out of that hey mama smell already mom after right ear just a few of the others why what are all these gin bottles doing in here oh wait a minute Bob why not do it the easy way you're suffocating me hearing none it's pepperidge farm that used to be my job at home washing the dishes I mean I want Robin duty without their chair but thank you no more right NYP they sit around here God your hair smells terrific and the dishwasher uses such hot water you couldn't possibly put your hands in sure that makes the dishes hygienic they claim I'll pretty pink well cooker in when I do the neck well I've never felt so comfortable with the womb mrs. Adams Alexandra please you want to have breakfast sometime don't do this to me Alexander hey computer that's quiet - uh Eleanor I'm busy down here at the White House okay beautiful now don't forget to call me will ya goodbye Eleanor Sally phoned and asked me to go for a swim thought you might like to come along and bring Alex oh thanks but I think alex is going to be busy doing what now look small fry don't give me any trouble all I know is easy seeing a man at the Northwest machine works on a matter of hydraulics me I don't you ask him yourself Hank I will I'm squishy and I need to move on it and the circulating air completely Drive please stop I'm vulnerable a bad dishwasher well not all but to tell the truth mrs. anything of mechanical or electrical nature interests me fits in with a hobby of my dishwasher not exactly time study figuring out how to do things better some don't affirm and just going for a swim sound interesting Alex it's a proud day for this is that Judy in it whether it be great but I find you repulsive make it some other time I have an appointment this afternoon with an engineer a matter of fact that's one of the reasons I came home with Bob one of the reason if I'd better hurry to thanks for the lunch mrs. Adams just please go on a good swim Joey sure I will home all lecture about mushrooms you're dating Timothy Leary a mechanical problem connected with the lecture if Alex lunched a girl daddy was she doing home cockroach sorry growing mushrooms under artificial conditions after all the lecture may be very interesting Yes Mother we should leave the house some time too mom time daddy earth to mom What did he say mother Judy I've an idea yeah I remember your father vaguely the trouble I had with him he was a thumbsucker things have nothing I did with interest game until until what mother I got my tattoo how much you enjoy good food Oh way to a man throughout Judy Oh mother that corny everyone likes good food I know dear but I'm thinking of something else too nude housework and take a little conspiracy conspiracy a nice little conspiracy for a nice young man like whitewater you remember I decided not to go to the Garden Club dinner tomorrow night because of Alexander's visit I changed my mind I'm going to hell with Alexander and find out for yourself why the mother knows best they probably located it some rope chains on it oh yes you may treat it's alright oh and on a manhunt get me a man that EDD okay and thumbtacks and then tempting dum tum tamaak tum' why I'm baking my panties but that's what mom suggested I'll turn it on now but I'll light it later here you go Daddy thanks kidding I don't think so mother now how long did you say it would take us to head of coast but I see your dinners you took for an hour now but 350 degrees one sec sweetie let me make with mathematics I'm gonna dash over Sally she's gonna set my hair it's almost 3 o'clock now you will eat at 6:30 and your dinner takes an hour and a half to cook the Nazis will be on you by then chiming bombs would be tripped by the wires and we drive through they forgot to stop filming total go on automatically turn temperature dial tune I think this is cool I'm off to Sally okay absolutely right come Larry never to take the ham out of freezer this morning he's mom and the guardian angels we're going out I think everything will be all right of course darling and be lovely now don't you worry this isn't the best meal you've cooked you know no but it's the first meal I ever cooked for Alan he's getting squishy yeah Alex here be pleasantly surprised and impressed I have to hurry dear out of things to do what's a four-letter word for nuisance standard sitcom joke landing on a runway 7 oh that's easy day you be why yes uh-huh are you going mom can we give you a lift mrs. Adams no thanks boys I don't know just what time I'll be death tonight so I'm taking the car tonight what about dinner Oh Judy taking care of that Julie why Judy can't even boil water without Bernie ha ha ha maybe we better gotta amber at least we get something to me you'll be sorry why I wouldn't think of missing one of Judy's dinners thank you Alex it's get in the car let's go quick you shouldn't tease you're so dear mom I was only need Leah well don't overdo it you'll give it the red what she's squishy she's got the Reds what's going on around here your mother's a freak Oh hash brownies look good but young mrs. Locke Horne prepares dinner Oh Loretta Young show me Alec you know mushrooms a big favorites of mine trees there's quite an air conditioning problem it's a whole coward play I don't think that'll be too much of a problem when are you going home that's what I need an idea how to get my boss ta out of the freezer has anyone noticed that the daughter is psychotic well you can always give it a try mr. Adams oh this is like three days of the Condor I trust no one in this short oh dear I call that oh shut up the men are talking in here oh I don't know what I'll do excuse me sir lady in distress to my friend travel to tea can I help well let me take a look talk to your dad about mushrooms I think I oppressed the old cart there we are god you're down about that that's all the how do you suppose that happened no just one of those things first thing you do with an appliance doesn't work is find out if it's plugged in that's the trouble most of the time yes that time genuine no but are you interested in time study hope you read only the my set the hook am on Uline take your kitchen ever noticed anything about it it's a prison the electric range the electric think it's garbage disposer once washer electric refrigerator yeah exactly Oh wonderful house now here's something you probably never thought about Judy no hitch in the days like a factory in a lot of ways where's your upper lip and only be good at the right tools are used yeah but your upper lip where did the best machinery that money can buy have you considered braces the work is done faster better and easier just as it is in a modern kitchen see what I mean oh yeah it's not about all these things not really Judy it's just that I'm interested in like to make a study of it now let's get those clothes off now here's another thing not only the best tool is important but everything connected with their use is taken into consideration don't wag your finger at me paint boy just like machines in our factory he's heating up he's in the zone they're not set this way just for looks they're placed this way for a definite purpose to save work time and unnecessary steps golly thanks I'm afraid means to meet a musician it's called time and motion study come in bring your sweet behind over this way let me work on that zipper take your home fries get in full of fresh frozen foods oh there's a death of saving of time and money and you want to study this and right next to it I don't tell me I know umm the refrigerator keeps day-to-day food and perfect freshness now tell me about the treats the dishwasher now there's a machine that does away with a chore that everybody hates I did not know that right next to it the garbage disposal put your arm in there I continued bring your buns over here Sweet Cheeks the electric range Wow right and only a few steps from where the food is kept so it's like a normal kitchen notice how it all adds up to one important thing all right love consideration for the housewife how does someone become how you say a house your nectar the big work favor Oh now let's pour that in there that's right that's good that's a bowl you know having to do that the hard way by have Judy beyond Thunder squishy I know funny appetite with this oh I certainly did sir the table looks beautiful Judy yes in a pattern when are you leaving Alex here's that Judy - judy judy judy - hell I brought along my appetite - so let's sample it that's for me sir how about you Bob full but quick just a small piece for the boy at the end well now try to get through perfect dinner Judy that's what you should have cooked he couldn't boil water without burning you're a damn liar pineapple juice chilled just right and that ham steak Oh bra cheek meat butter glioma beans and that wonderful cherry pie with whipped cream all right all right I think we ought to make him eat all his meals at hamburger Ares for that Oh kitty this is really exciting to me Eddie and I'm very proud of it no staff Judy you did all right thanks but I can't take all the credit our kitchen does everything but Tom ha ha ha delightful uh about that lecture oh I don't know after such a wonderful meal right fall asleep in a lecture well boy here comes me how'd you like to go dancing ok let's get going on the dishes and Bob you can take in the lecture if you want no thanks I'm weird watch TV tonight not a good joke as I'm too young folks worry about the dishes they're no trouble around here you know Oh dad you're and uh actually I'm being indicted what see you later right double baguette son give me a hammer beat that okay son I don't need a strap on some heels on a wig way I've been emasculated flipped me like a gelding oh hello there nice to see you how'd it go big success tremendous success they've got credit girl their mother I think I'll let my luck just knack nothing not oh you wanna go with me Alex leptin something about growing mushrooms under artificial conditions and avoiding the narcs I might find out how to grow them in the basement say I could move your mom on are you down ah really Harry this is he this film is brought you by the nerd council support your local nerd that generous grant from the mom corporation the incredible power of mom so the point of this short is that we should dabble in mushroom growing Susan slept here I'll be right yeah I figured out it would be a lot more convenient for all of us if you move the mads light over to the left a little okay okay all right back back just a little bit like a syntactic nudge oh it's not just little more get there each one 1380 baby step there there oh whoa stop whoo Huck weird bad news Mike our theme song tested rather poorly and well I'm a big-time executive and I made a snap decision we're going to start our own radio station and we're going to name it Frank a radio station called Frank that's right so come on turn your crank to Frank less talk and more new country Wynonna Billy Ray Cyrus love that Frank okay yeah you know I can't promise that I personally will be turning my crank to Frank but I thought it's a radio station called free more Garth more Reba why no not really man cooks and done looks and done Wynonna what is Wynonna don't you see how great it is my name is Frank the radio stations name is Frank it's totally uncharacteristic to name a radio station Frank more garthe more Reba Wynonna what good am I out of Reba do I need more Reba or any Wynonna I don't know sorry guys got to think about this one turning my crank ah yes the Bobby Knight story the Inquisition were violent here and your Crusades the Hun years to the 30 Years War how long was that war it was about twice from New York City the city that never moves were Parkins involved in this poor Karl Parkins had brown suede shoes he was so close so is this the Naked City it's the scantily-clad said he needed zing quite finished uh-oh the movie has a certain general warning while they should never have used a manual Francisco on the spool the electric want to be so much better traffic is hardly moving on the bridge tonight Victor most of California except Lompoc okay the thick chalk here everyone forced her right with a palmer method well I gotta go buy some drugs and insult some people in the band my parents and friends that's straight from Thomas Paine by the way well let's not forget adequate support garments this is a story of violence ah a violence born of the uncontrolled passions of adolescent youth and nurtured by this generation of parents the devil may be doing our own smug little world of selfish interests and Confused ideas of paranal supervision refused to believe today's glaring headline the names Friday but it has happened only the people in places have been given other name code you love hmm hey about a little sugar for the father of my country huh will not tell a lie God my teeth hurt thank you Bob odden it's office it's just off the cafeteria just dropped a hell of a turret in there if you know what I mean judge stroke let's hear it for your headliner I see did become shorter Court is now in session the Honorable Raymond Clara judge presiding fake Court will now begin will you approach the bench please yeah but don't touch it it's made out of styrofoam um have you got a five I could borrow till tomorrow it's always difficult for an old friend who sit in judgment of an old friend but you're going down man or his boy must be administered to one as to another do you worst you plus it now comes to light that both of you over the past eighteen years have proven yourselves utterly incompetent thank you important responsibilities given to a man in his wife sir it's one particular to the bringing up children your own home honey don't left in all fairness to the society which you so miserably fail and injustice to this child we must deny your request by the way you're ugly and stupid too how am I to blame where could I have failed hmm I remember I gave her everything she everyone her neck is having a flashback ladies and gentlemen your screenwriter Ed Wood hi mom can I have more of everything got time to talk and then it is rather important good gracious no I'm an hour late already I'm two weeks late first and all that sort of thing you know besides what can be so important in your young life is to warrant my attention so drastically well it's been a long time since we've had a heart-to-heart there there it can wait go away right what can be more important than our charities so many children and needy families really bugs me we're so busy this time of the year and it's very very important I guess you're right of course I am No go do some crimes thank you darling tell you a secret Haiti I think I like it down at the club so much because I keep getting such nice flattery the girls are always saying my my how young and pretty you look for an old hag eighteen year old daughter but you are pretty loving oh go along with you but it does sound good got a date tonight well sort who you pretty one of course you do then what might lately haven't you watch two to seven you come in as late as you have been do be careful and not make any noise yeah don't get me wrong he hasn't complained or said in fact he hasn't moved in a week man works so hard that newspaper will be the deficit this route is killing him do be a dear and take care when you come in he needs for a little rest you can get it got rough last night thank goodness you want one of those character types that your father's paper is always printing about leave some bad money or is he a gentleman I have enough mother don't be silly there's never enough please no more not again my life is hell enough no more money you left them out back again mmm I could be mean and fill it in for fortune you could but you won't let me know how much you make it out for so that I can keep my bank balance straight all right will you be using my car again tonight if you don't mind dear you can use mine now tell you a secret this doesn't make sense yours better that is one of those times keep your life to yourself honey one Googleplex in 79 cents my life is hell how much more of this can I take I'm going to report her to child protection hello Phil this is Paul Paul is everything ready oh is this good hi gorgey jeri-show yeah Paul not wearing douga to you I don't know any Avila as soon as I get this mother justice minute left the horse ball I don't know how to help hmm think I'll throw a pig's blood on the wall think of the hellish life your mother writing a blank checks but does that justify going out and making right turns no I say to you society owes me a KitKat power rosewood super service soon to be Rosewood's Lickety Lube we've minute away from my porno mags as hell good evening it's my pleasure to search Hey but benazir bhutto is holding them up free oil filter Phillip hey do we want the Ridgid tool calendar you can trust our Octane's check your hoses the area map we got honey hello girls good luck with the holdup sorry mom in here the other day let's go we got all the barrel of fun snacks please take an air freshener let's go ahead and fall ban hey your rear tires a little long ding ding was the restroom clean in tea well I did a c-section but I was unable to find anything well he pulled through doc hasn't regained consciousness that's top-heavy odds he ever will pretty bad huh pretty bad these fool kids when will they learn these aren't kids these are Mara will he ever pump again bye Barney lieutenant Tom doctor honey he'd be no enoki pretty bad one this time how about a dark pretty bad I'll get back to you later if there's any change I said he'd give me a deal on wiper blades anything I could press you heard the doctor nothing no suppose it's the same gang chances are if only comes to then well if it is the same gang it brings their record to 17 and the last seven I've moved in gas stations a me pattern bike they'll make a specialty of gas stations for a while now if they do we may be ready for them how do you mean well prepare ourselves as open after 10:00 p.m. we'll be warned to have two men on duty at all times one of those men could be a policeman well I tried to jumpstart him that didn't work lieutenant I left dr. Ryan in chart the man was lucky he'll pull through let's just let the scene Peter oh but the teutonic races will never be capable of leadership and yet they breed rapidly like the mongrels that they open more later hi chief Oh Barney where is your big purple suit oh I'm tired but no more than you yeah I mean you look really bad too much to newspapers these days I haven't seen my daughter Paula in a week I ran into her up at school earlier this week we all stalked her she gets more beautiful every day like I said I wouldn't know mm-hmm one of these days I'm gonna take a day off maybe gets an Oregon never happened out at the hospital now the gas station attendant pulled through damn weeks in the hospital but he'll live how much could he tell there's the same gang 404 masks Levi's leather jackets look like your dog loves with a handful of guns same Bunch probably the same clothes this is not a little shopping now no fingerprints 55 sedan Shubert license unknown mass taps covering the hair same old routine well our little gang has one thing in their favor yeah what's that I haven't killed anyone yeah that's not their fault they've tried hard enough maybe it's just give them a little more time too bad we can't do anything about giving them a little more time however they happen to be news Thank You Ben Bradlee stick with the police department see this thing through everyone back to sleep hello boss chief we gotta get this story out bio next week is fine Rosicrucians are drawing even nearer I smelled hey that's the same right turn his brother Tom McKenney Allah says the big 55 caddy rides smooth mo the passion I find you so acceptable here comes the page Cavanaugh trio what thron display we parked under the RK logo oh you're smouldering averageness stop me you're gonna kiss her you are acceptable as a mate take me now ain't love somethin Oh what is this Johnny who are they don't ask so many questions you might find the answer that's true but how does that apply here Oh Jerry be careful that's a beautiful sweater thank you take it off what are you talking about you ain't got stuffing in your ears take that sweater off what might you shop and do I she says do what they say sure they've got guns yes surely we've got guns the peggy noonan gang you're very observant for a pretty boy for God's sake she'll take the sweater off give it to work got this down at publishers they got it in six sizes now your turn step out I just like to say I'm totally a minimal - taking off any clothes you want oh my Oh turn around put your hands on front of you theme Ford put your hands on the car door come on come on we haven't got all night you've seen this done before take off your underwear without taking off your pants I really think you need to spank me at the bed whenever I get to the end I fall into a wormhole sorry how lousy 11 bucks your characters oughta learn I carry more dough stand up and take my pants off right maybe's got more to offer than his money I got a jury Garcia tie strong little pretty maybe but yeah under conventional circumstances he could be very interesting why wait for conventional circumstances yeah why indeed yes point there what about her I'll tie her up and toss in the back of it yeah tough luck honey chief higher up you hurt me sure I heard you but maybe you'd like to tell me what I used to tire with well I got some rope in the truck that looks strong enough Karam use it you heard her girl get a move on sorry but this is so great I completely condone what you're doing now back to you hands look you have my money you have my watch you have my ring what more do you want Oh are we going on again real soon Rick we see this works as a nice matching cuff to cost of the faculties okay but do you mind telling me where we're going someplace where it's safe just follow us hmm dr. Forrester has sent us a truly great movie rabbit goes around a feed through the well could you switch the radio station please she'll probably be okay hi honey don't wait up honey I'm doing this for you all for if you have to get involved I understand it could get rough and that's fine I third day in a row with him this has happened a beginning to suspect something a fantasy suite will never satisfy her again I beg of you don't lightly kiss my belly and then don't nibble at my nipple buds and don't drag your shiny hair across my body because I hate that you know there's a spot behind my beer please don't kiss their $11 went a long way back then our girls tonight she's a performer of our God okay squeal piggy what a great movie oh we gotta get gypsy she's gotta see this whole again Penthouse Forum the motion picture Oh tattletale cheese Roku horrible beaten hall refuses to file charges as thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you average of man flocked to crime scene returns itami and there was Fordham oh look at you I could are you watching me now watch closely now good news rice on kill good I don't know I see your mouth won't forget about party tonight party part see I knew you would remember when I told you Paula's birthday party all up all I did forget well it's impossible for me I've got a newspaper to get out with these young hoodlums running rampage through the town I'm kept pretty much on the goal especially at night that's when they work those weren't aware they'll strike again sometimes you sound more like a policeman than a newspaperman sometimes there is much difference ah I can't be here either she's having a pajama party this year what in the world is a pajama party well they all sit around play games dressed in their pajamas oh look tonight tonight oh no boys invited oh we're having our charity Bazaar tonight and I'm the duly elected chairman of the sales committee I've just got to be there well Paula's old enough to take care of herself now I'll get a little gift this afternoon have one of the boys from the office drop by with it tonight Oh she'll like that Paula's such an understanding child well goodbye my suffocating little ice queen see you when I can is that enough for you yep I'm really off to the newspaper I'm certainly not going to that spot where they attack that fellow no freedom Wow hello did you have an appointment happy birthday darling Thanks you're out late again last night little I can tell your eyes don't sparkle the way they should do you feel ill no just a little tired a good breakfast will fix you up what would you like to have this morning the plane check your father I'm just not hungry now mother knows best you're a growing girl you need your vitamins straight now you just sit there I'll get you something it'll only take a minute it's already you're plenty of time for school oh sure those cheerful morning words and tender pat on the cheek meant to hurt and scar another classic walk across the living room scene freedom honey he hears he slimfast I could've sworn I had a daughter I Drive everyone away with my affectionate good-natured demeanor sign up here for volunteer stakeout duty dad I thought that I thought that that I have big plans for the government why has the Lord chosen me you might ask Paula what the world brings you down here hi dad been so long since I've seen you I thought I'd drop in today it's my birthday I'm Cristin now get out honey I'm sorry I can't be at your party night but you know how busy I have see I understand that then you wouldn't look good at an all-girl pajama party now would you well this certainly is a surprise I thought it would be I'm Paula your daughter no classes to what 30th extra-long lunch hour oh I see what's this rag Oh got a line on the girls that did this yet now don't you bother your pretty little head about such things that's your dad's department it could be very important how do you mean you know significant not for president the student body this year this type of thing you called you vinod delinquency could help the pictures again well Todd it's not up yet you knew how to prevent it you go down in history as the greatest person of our time after Casey Stengel of course commendable I figure it this way dad another real lowdown almost as soon as it happens I guess you're right about that what is it you want me to do that's easy as soon as anything happens you tell me everything everything there's a 10-spot in affari order so what it's not too big for you I hardly catch you at home anymore so I'll have to see you here ouch well if it'll help you to be President I'll do dad you're a peach no or anything new on last night have you read the paper yes then you have the story honest honest come on you're right Cappy dick forgot see either the girls have no previous record or they're from out of town it's lieutenant Holmes theory that they were from out of town no we weren't going couldn't identify any of them from the police picture files and Derek will stay until something else turns up what about the gas station affair is there anything new on that simply nothing you could call four young boys the Dave Clark Five also putting a policeman and mechanics close with each gas station staying open after 10:00 at night if the gang tries another gas station heist they'll be all through I must say here liquor stores well that's interesting enough for a start well by the way have they built any 7-elevens around here by what a neat kid wish I had a daughter like her come on girls let's spin doughnuts on the football field my pits hurt calling off the gas station oh we can't call off crap we already had why you could have had more of a bored Clanton's and all the rest put together maybe it'd be a little too much excitement even for us the cops will sneak they'll be waiting for us so what how can the cops know we pick Clanton's I'll explain later the main thing is they know puts them into our gas station jobs for a while oh I have to think of something else I hate robbing detail back at principal faint she have you on the carpet again yeah the old witch what'd you do this time practically nothing killed a cow damn get so heavy about just that math teacher flunked me again so I told her off I'd like to get even with all of them maybe you'll get the chance plastic over the Sheila's tomorrow get rid of last week's loot we nearly know may come we know he was here Karen our jobs how come your mother's all the time my cards be spotted a mile away get him by the way we're all pregnant from the guy we attack oh yes the scene that was condemned by the Catholic League of America but I want to rob Clanton's hello they arrived in a u-boat we're all standing up in that car ah I have to pick up Mamie Van Doren that'd be hard Oh Oh Phooey it says no solicitation well back in the car okay let's rob the entire apartment building instead did anybody remember the potato salad so is this that Melrose Place everyone's been talking about I know they dresses men so they can live in this apartment building look like a man talk like a Hello well I don't know who you are why you're here but come on in Sal Mineo entertains at home kids have been lucky so what maybe we're just a little smart just be careful you don't get too smart for your own good a double pleasure help me no you you want any I'll get well you look good what have you got this time more junk we've never brought you junk yet get back half of what I paid you for that last mess yeah losing your money get you a setup like this hmm isn't it Harpo on the right thing to go just as I thought junk those are real diamonds I had him apprai appraised but that was kind of foolish wasn't it you could be caught if they were traced what do you take me for us to know abort you offered me 200 for the brace for the loan no 500 for the lot I think we'll take our business to Ginny ah the free market at work come on gang Sheila doesn't want to be bothered with us anymore let's take our air fresheners elsewhere 30 you're a bunch of blackmailers oh not that big yet but give us a chance we're still growing we like milk and it's shows did you really see Jimmy this time what difference does it make we got what we wanted I'm not interested in the money there's plenty of that at home it's the principle of the thing I don't want anyone getting the idea they put something over on Sheila take her eye teeth and then try to steal the rest it's the thrill that gives me the thrill of the chase me oh and shopping I like to shop oh goodness I like squirt oh here comes uncle named 750 you think you're pretty smart don't you I don't think I know that's why I'm the leader of this pack you're on Punk or you wouldn't be tied up in this small-time penny-ante business you got better ideas maybe speak your piece or forever hold your now bottle into the bedroom for a while I want to talk to pull-up privately uh which one of us is Paula and close the door beaded Harpo huh top I just wanted to tell you how much I love your outfits what do you think about school what are you driving at I've got a connection that doesn't like school Chester the third grade oh we're not talking kid talk it's worth a lot of money to a certain organization if certain damages are reported certainly I don't get you don't have to all you have to know is if you can wreck a few school rooms you can make yourself and your pack a loaded Oh how much dough more than you can use besides you've always said the money means nothing to you but I would anyone talk just to have schools wrecked that's none of your business online I have the connection and besides there'll be a great throw behind this move and don't worry if a few flags get destroyed in the process not a lorry I say it's part of a well-organized fun plan communism you don't have to all you have to do is what you're told now go to your room how soon do we move just as you can but be careful you're not caught you're no good to me in the clink we won't get caught I don't know how you can be so sure I wear secret it's easy this is one of the rough spots in the dialectic Pete Hamels plays so look at those pajamas she may as well be nude I could use a hand here all right who's next hold a strip in the woods for a total stranger with their modest in their own now there's a girl who takes squishiness and does something about it I think we're out of s'mores his pajamas are a little formal you ever thought of the advantages of owning a truly fine set of encyclopedias I wouldn't invite ralph bellamy to my slumber party Thursday Friday happy days your zipper seems to be all she did was say that you're a right guy and that I speech then as pretty as you are I'm glad I came I don't need her to pick my friends for me am I not sure you don't I'm pretty particular well I'm sure you are I've played it alone for a long time sure you have that's how I plan to keep it maybe I should look for my new company elsewhere no you're here now you might as well stay okay since I'm now an invited guest do you want my mind giving you a birthday gift hmm no I've already got one of these do you have a receipt so I can return it oh heck watch one more do anything belay off of my blue suede shoes pajamas jazz and communism this is wild he's making out with Aaron Moran someone's dancing with ODIs skin I see skin he's gone my house for some Johnson we got some advice for you make-out police come out with your lips up high you ready yeah I'd like to speak to miss Parkins yeah hallo yes portable vinyl siding I don't think that's any of your affair why are you alright Danny he's from my dad's office go ahead and punch him no bond way to greet a guest two bears gifts a mug Butler what don't pay Manny second thought you see too many gangster movies he's really very nice once you get to know that brings up the point so many people stick around long enough to get the knowing that well quit needling me Jacqueline sure if you want yes let me explain the mud Butler joke sea of mud Butler is the thing that is placed on the ground bolted and then you scrape the mud off your you're not buying it well grab yourself a guy I'll see if I can find you a nightie I brought an extra lap I see the party's formal dress it's a gamified I was joking again yeah I got to see that but mixed crowd huh gang I want you to meet my father Star reporter Barney Stinson pajama party pie guy bill southern man what look don't let me interrupt anything birthdays are just like Christmas they only come once a year there is an audible thud every time he tells a joke what am I alone in here hello kind of cold in here all of a sudden again a joke uh yeah I like to smoke do you like to smoke oh not to give fair thank you had their points I almost forgot the reason for my visit your father's gonna be very late tonight and asked me to drop this off for you mold control works so hard thanks for bringing aren't you gonna open it later I know what it is dad gets me the same present every birthday really little car your watch mom come look oh uh never mind Paula I saw the new convertible when I came in mm-hmm it never changes well like uh I've been to my birthday parties in years but always the same presents mom sneaks out takes my old car in for train it has a new one delivered secretly give me the cab to her club mm-hmm funny I like a sedan better a really funny line here but I'm afraid to use it have some more music love you hey to Annie ain't you seen enough yet sub sister maybe you've seen enough to know you ain't wanted knock it off Manny I don't like this guy's looks excuse me ID on your change of Manning maybe that's a good idea what about I should change your look stop sister mutt Butler sob sister Mudbox not just here - how old are you punk over 21 well that's old enough wanna go out sometime I just happened by Ted yeah I'm trying to think of a quip or something or a bad company Paula but I don't want to sound like I'm telling you your business then don't try well I'll see you next year with your new watch hmm how'd you guys like that scene yeah it's something you'd wipe your boots on so it's an insult forget it this is gonna be the front page story in the Glenview shopper change me Oh true we got trouble right here in River City well the dirty subsist I'll take care of him haven't you had enough for one night this is one of the worst planned pajama parties ever good night boys the party's over don't hate me Susan but the nights just beginning and that goes double for me huh well I hope they show another right turn folks Kenneth they backed up the whole way that's very good with sorted ID for head your driver's test Hey oh no you hit the crew and he's really mad Madison we got to make fruit fly yeah I mean I've been waiting for it for a long long time get it done as quickly as possible we didn't get the job done get out there's a good sort of general rule to crime I hope they killed mr. Cobb but everything in this joint let's do it quick get out of here you're gonna bring the fifth grade to its knees hey you stupid inanimate objects good good you're letting it all out I want to both your parents oh no no no no until the day I die and I'm not gonna clap the erasers making over $1 in 75 cents an hour well this is actually encouraged in open schools so how is this lucrative for them again a girl gang goes on rampage President Eisenhower declares a state of detention down with the clothed this is Hathaway goes berserk this is for you Betsy Ross he's stupid at the home later and completely unrelated footage different K there well if it's that denuding girl gang I better go in alone good get him and - just confessor tipping the desks over take the chances but the bastards floor ammunition can't last forever how many of you Olga rather than what's in my gun all I've got left is in my gun at ten shells in my pocket then poof we'll have to beat it to the car I've got gun let's box under the backseat lay it into him fast they need to ask themselves this is really working yeah I'll distract them by let me have a salt Fame look at him yeah just like rabbits yeah rabbits with big guns and good aim yes ain't supposed to be what is it what it's way she died as she lived failing algebra just tell me where the mascara is yeah she's dirty remember guys once I carved my name and the bleachers and there's a big shootout Wow booby though I think we're talking about full expulsion now I think the rest you ran on let's get out here but we don't have hall passes grease the version they dared not me why do we go in here softball practice she got us into this message she can get us out hey there cute no and we've got to keep on the moon she'll do anything so she doesn't have to drive this is actually a commercial for light-days panty liners yes I want to buy some officers close your eyes so you can't identify us I forget it they're too far quick should we shut that fat barkeep thought you were gonna get the license number you said you were gonna go I didn't you loan it no rush just kind of mosey on into the chase there there you you said you knew whether Chase was no you said you never ever said it right another right turn those feeds tell you what let's not fight let's just shoot any girl we see okay you know the inability of the cops to turn right becomes their downfall there it is the lamp is a statue of Our Lady do you have a bathroom around here it's either prickly all right in the middle of Soto play Judy Jetson Oh Oh what what do you want stop talking so much it off the door I barely said anything Johnny the cops are after guess which two of us are dead I was just having a blood communion wow you think my shirt is too baggy your end is as deep as we are who you think you're kidding get out of here we're staying well crystal light that kind of jerks are you anyway leading the cops to my door we lost him now come on we want that payoff for what we wrecked the school like you wanted job completed and job to be paid for by you well I need an invoice mine are we well how do I know you wrecked a school how take our word for it tonight then read about it the papers tomorrow Oh it'll be in the papers all right headlines this time now we want our money yeah we want some clothes - these things are a dead giveaway you'll get nothing from me I'll go get hey the famous naked man what do you know ee how long you stay after I call the cops keep away from that phone I killed a policeman tonight congratulations yeah a cop well I may have been bluffing before but I'm not bluffing now I'm calling the police oh that top-heavy Falls look out quick Scotchgard the couch gotta move fast get a change of clothes see what she lets go that's not too big in the bust killed by a tetherball awfully young do you know her no you I've seen dozens like her there's another one up there well now I've seen dozens and want yes after this let's play some four square Mike we're ready for you oh good ahh we are the talent will please find his light right uh could we talk about this cuz a one-man show about Keanu Reeves darling you are Keanu Reeves pull this off and I'll let you star in my next epic it's a one-man show about Anthony Michael Hall that should be good but let's talk about the script for the holidays quietly Blaine come final tech rehearsal will commence places everyone with oh there you are Margo and begin square the sister this is my own private Idaho Potato ha ha ha man that is so lame lame it's humor my how come it's stupid I quit Idaho piff I quit I don't want potato it is funny man is it ha ha kick it what it's a potato it's funny pretty more cramps yeah no thing seems to be getting worse maybe something you ate at the party I drank so you were in Austria during the war yeah i budgeted by mr. crane he's calling the backseat he'll never guess where I'm calling from hey you seen two girls in a convertible hey pull up you two hey that's too far micariff again call glass replacement specialist anytime day or night briefcase escape shut it off she's gone sim son to room in heaven Oh mom told me not to but no I had to pick that pimple you know a federal indictment may prove difficult to overcome in the student elections and all this started because of their electric kitchen kids with guns Chuck Heston would love it one of them was killed instantly the other ones pretty badly shaken up I'll kill her later been informed Yeah right after the accident Harry come now come to see old slice and dice huh I wouldn't go in there just now if I were you come Paula she she's all right can't say the same for a girlfriend though like last window made quite a mess I've got pictures if you want to see him uh your line Phil have you reached the verdict yet I'm doing at your honor what is that but we did jury find the defendant guilty and the opposing jury will the defendant please rise look Emily Bronte you have been found guilty of murder in the first degree as charged eat I already heard that but it still upsets me she conveyed so much just the look just that one single look yeah in a related story Paula Parkins picked a peck of pickled peppers something next Tuesday appearance by gogo the gorilla camp productions hey everybody welcome to Tuesday sentencing be sure to tip your bailiff here come to me Paula Parkins picked a pack you'll have had all that money can give you but that wasn't enough you became a thrill seeker with an overinflated ego this thrills eqing became the one great thing in your life besides son sharing one thrill on another until with every increasing intensity you became much like the drug addict with his continual drug taking increases of dosage until something the climax a murder chilled acted for the love of killing killed for a thrill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill teacher come from all walks of life the riches well as the poor hey quit reading I'm summing young Jim the home a home where the parents are too busy in their own affairs same time to keep their children that's us honey the importance of self-restraint oh thank you really captured oh so discipline politeness courtesy hello for the month the church your mustache is falling off sir a country it all adds up to bed one great essential of living ironically this is still funnier than Night Court and regard for the property and feelings of others it through this utter disregard for life it stay awake must awake or find a vegetable in a prisoner of the state you're mad and in a courtroom convicted of murder in the first degree look I gotta get going on my life sentence being those of your youth Paula Parkins it's impossible for me to give you the sentence you so rightfully deserve so you get the spec hereby banded to the proper institution me until you become 21 years of age then we party mmm at which time you will be transferred to the State Penitentiary both women and get a shave while you're at it where you will spend the rest of your natural way how's that sound oh sure screwed up on that daughter huh feel kind of bad I have to admit you know it's actually a very nice sunny cell from one prison to another it's a too late to spend time with her isn't it I don't think I could drink another cup it passes the time you think I look like Lincoln honey it's all my fault if only I hadn't thought more of my outside interest than I did of Paula it's okay if I think it's your fault too isn't a strong hard lesson we've been taught live and learn this mine should we find Parra parents you still have each other that's some comfort that's supposed to be funny it all seems like such a bad dream Oh like when you're naked at a hockey game ever since I can remember we've given Paula everything everything but real love and peanut butter a new dress instead of a caress a new car instead of a cigar hot talk I knew what instead of a squash there's no good to look back can only be more of a hurt we must now look forward let's get a golden a chaste only as a pattern of judgment Paula's lesson to us was strong instead of a thong her child profit right arm stinks by the way you seen her lately I haven't had a chance to get up there all the work I got everything you can only stay for a minute right and what's our excuse see three seven two one zero hi Peggy of a petty poop-poop stupa Paula that's it oh how do you feel darling good real good I don't want my baby in a place like this I don't don't feel so well if it keeps going around we'll see judge Clara will take care of everything fine let's go let's just go only we knew who everything will be all right my rape victim refuses to come to Lamaze classes well how's our little gun-toting trollop Shh that's all now it's time you were leaving I'm afraid she's passed away rest easy now it'll be all right we'll see you witness that's all way sometime after Memorial Day maybe look I'll send my secretary to see the baby she's got a room on the 400th floor regrets a set of you Oh what hey what's your deal that's that event here on surgery Boulevard teeing off at 3:00 that's all I'm saying maybe I could fund this as a charity event it's your fault now I'm going to be of it ugly so you'd better sit down Wow how many ARMs did she have when she came in here the baby girl is well and healthy my daughter how is she I broke her she she died well so the life sentence wasn't really that long too bad easy to do any good mmm some people think newspapers exaggerate juvenile crime we don't can we go all that it's confined mostly to large cities do God this is far from being the case coast to coast in small communities as well in the larger cities even circle Pinal delinquency is on the rise I'm playing fast and loose with my numbers here no child is inherently bad except Pauly Shore made what he is by his upbringing and his surrounding and his inherently bad parents that's apparent that something has gone wrong with the environment great many of these children or we wouldn't he have this present delinquency problem adults create the world children live in and in this process parents play the key role when children grow up among adults who refuse to recognise anything that is fine and good or worthy of respect there's a little joke in Leviticus one that says that many of these children failed to develop high moral standards or to distinguish right from wrong want to wrap it up judder antic come on up in to quell us would bore you hmm juvenile delinquency and always rooted in here yeah a dope the lenity why don't you shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up higher moral values and we hope solve the problem look we're doubled our newest way to bring this about is through a return to religion whoa excuse me some recent church should stay it would join this back to god movement and train their children to will respect the 10 commandments or beat the love of Jesus to those laid down by all the great religions your Catholicism your polemic important 8 the time has come we must impose direction so the smiles we left behind against the young lawbreakers to put I have it again lower lighting his mere youth is no excuse for letting him remain at large some young criminals are just vicious and dangerous as older more bring but some crimes are good all you know young offenders should be released in the custody of his parents let an investigation shows character I can't see the seam due any time if they are not his supervision should be entrusted to a more responsible agent whose and jammies don't mix and in making parents financially liable for property damage caused by their children could the especially help how against the wave of vandalism which has been sweeping across our country even this adorable vandalism but this responsibility we're sure that parents would keep a closer eye on the kind of fun they're too big fancy window and that the old-fashioned woodshed would receive more useless vandalism would decline I have no real proof but it's worth a try what the hell dumb parents refuse to recognize the moral obligation don't judge my living enters work Wow when that is the case you must take stronger measures to make them realize their responsibilities oh my body so you see I cannot possibly rent a request for the adoption of a child of your daughter the child must remain a ward of the state a birth ward of such time as a suitable family can be found at that time the child will be granted to this worthy family to be brought up in the world I should know the world the warm glow of a state home Jane Parkin take this man to be your end for you Carl pockets promise to love cherish and obey I can only feel the deepest of sorrow I sentence you to my Toastmasters meeting hey hey where're you two going well all the jerk was please report to the bathroom Peggy Oh tonight on the Hollywood Squares No yeah I'm an infant I'm an infant give me everything boy fun huh ha ha ha this was the feel-good movie of 1956 audiences left for the song of their hearts and a smile on their faces I don't know though don't throw them through the hole Oh what are they doing I think they're recreating the gas station holdup from the movie Oh Wow Oh Todd was it exciting in the movie nope well was it funny nope Oh maybe we better read a letter huh Oh a letter to be when we're here look at this it's an invitation where my school graduation commencement to us and I put that on still store way of things what's it say there Oh once a driller oh you drill er is that dirty uh it depends on what books he reads well that's from Eliza F Reed of Bakersfield California senior class of Bakersfield high school announces its commencement exercises on Thursday the 9th of June 1994 at 7:30 in the evening at Griffith field oh that's a nice feel lovely place but I tell you your grandchildren be graduating before we could make it yeah so whoo don't you madman you see it's a radio station called Frank rarely is a radio station named after a person and when it's given a solid name like Frank well it becomes Campion endearing Wynonna Vince Gill Ferlin husky Roger Miller how fine don't turn your crank stuff Frank you stupid fat heads Tex Ritter Pat Buttram Slim Whitman thanks no Marty Robbins fancy Walker sunny Burgess DAG hammarskjöld Donna Fargo Crispin Glover CW McCall Zamfir Barbara Mandrell Maury Povich Coco Chanel Ernest Tubb Larry Storch Jerry Lee Lewis Edward Everett Horton gentleman Jim Reeves boss Jim Gettys mrs. Miller Karen Valentine Stovall Jackson

Channel: analogkid01

Views: 434,600

Rating: 4.8405037 out of 5

Keywords: MST3k

Id: Nz4wxyFIAhE

Length: 91min 40sec (5500 seconds)

Published: Thu Jun 02 2011