MST3k 508 - Operation Double 007

Mystery Science Theater 3000 show 508 real one in the not too distant future next Sunday ad there was a guy named Joel nothing different than you owe me is Moloch institute just another face in Red Jumpsuit we did a good job cleaning up the place as watch this all the lesser is mine my control HED because he used those special robot the eats and breathes and other science facts yourself it's just the show mystery Oh No what is this aho this is my second-grade piano recital and [ __ ] wake up check this out oh you actually get a feeling for what it was like to really be in there oh yeah this is really Oh Joe fees are fascinating now who took these uncle Roy oh yeah the guy with the mole right exactly gypsy continues ah so huge hi everybody welcome to the satellite of love well you can probably tell by now that Joel just transferred all his old home movies to videotape you know what I think this is that picnic we took up to Koshkonong mouth hospital mouths I'm kind of worried about Tom serve down salty Oh watch what I do now gypsy check this out huh you pull the shorts down now that's funny yeah they are this minis kids no that's Brent and Brenda there Brian and bridges kids minis kids are all ready Tony right aunt Theresa yeah yeah this is fascinating Tommy don't go in too far Hey look what I found swingley quiet right explain to me again how this bulky racer fell out of the closet and onto these home movie transfers when the closet isn't anywhere around here yeah weird isn't it yeah yeah no matter I've got duplicates in my footlocker ha yeah I uh I know I found those Oh Marilyn McCoo and Billy Davis jr. calling crawl ba Joel I wonder if you wouldn't indulge me today uh Frank's been down a bit lately and well when the poor fellas not shuffling head down through the lab he's locked himself in his room watching old misfits of science episodes so to pick him up I thought I'd let him do this week's invention exchange really put the spark back in Bobby for this week's invention we're ready for you Frankie right my invention exchange this week these fully line leather sprinkler pants that I like to call lederhosen hose it now I can in my lederhosen lalalalalalala I just wanted to wear lederhosen okay it's a stupid if that should I admit I just want to be for variant for what brief shining moment is that so wrong Frank yes it is wrong deeply wrong but you've been under a lot of stress lately tell you what we'll get you an elf into horn would that make you feel better yes mhm why don't you go on with your invention exchange Jim it's Joel and if you'll indulge me or hind Ernest I'd like to turn over this week's invention exchange to our own crow T robot thanks y'all the vulture long associated with pestilence and death is in reality a clean and helpful bird who is quite easy to get along with so to improve his image I invented Sarah the bobbing buzzards row yeah based on the water drinking bird this friendly carrion eater cleans up roadkill or table scraps that's great crow yeah it kind of looks like you crawl I think you'll agree there are a few sights in nature as beautiful as a plump member of the Cathar today family pulling a sinuous string of fetid meat off a weak dead Thompson's gazelle there's a theme song want to hear it oh oh sure crow Bob and Buzzard caw caw caw Bob and Buzzard caw caw caw Bob and Buzzard immediately deep or what hit thanks TV of your movie this week Joel stars the Ricola oh thank you Frank would you just get back there your experiment this week Joel stars Sean Connery's brother Neil and they're more than happy to tell you that it's called operation double double oh seven and now I have to strangle Frank Robin Buzzard caw caw caw by crow illegally deep deep deep thick they run hey assault on a queen the Danny Bonaduce story Muni on the birds good thing they have an espresso machine get over here and turn the music down like this all hands on me don't how to make tuna sandwiches honey is there anything this guy doesn't do Kidpower I sail to Tahiti with an all-girl crew all I got was this wet t-shirt uh-oh you know when there's four people on a screenplay there's gonna be trouble you know I'm suddenly hungry for Cracker Jacks and I don't know why he sat on his glasses walls she would like to get permission to come aboard he likes to wear mittens he's got a deviated septum he gets his hair cut on Tuesdays he prefers stopping to potatoes yesterday for shaggy clothes me this guy can't possibly live up to the song they wrote about him Holi just in the common name Wallace so you're saying you like this guy oh no please don't hold back how do you really feel women who sing too much I'm missing about port-of-call Cindy now this is one naughty Navy we do more hair and makeup before breakfast and most people do all day it's the Old Spice guy it is must be one of those airplanes I've heard them talk about so much me yee-haa Paul Williams lunchbox stay there my friend no one else has a lunch anywhere as good as mine we now return to ship of fools skiddly huh you know William Conrad were there they could watch a letterbox version he wants to change the channel does he get another woman Oh yuck she's faux being is bad huh oops uh wrong room should I come back y'all Oh oh thank God I thought we're gonna see his naked butt thank you sir I'll bill your room hello I'm Merv Griffin I was just gonna press pause but yeah what's it like being the TV Cindy well it's better than pho being is bad now showing on my back Morgan Stewart's coming home at two four six and eight yes may we help you when did I hire you this is one great motel six another life thank you for touching me sir that will keep me going for the entire day Ellen ah is this your robe around the PMS pinafore someone's got a pogo stick it's been nearly two minutes since anyone's fondled you sir I suppose it's for you tell him I'm not here a block really really really hmm don't wait a minute how is it that he gets color on his girl but only black and white on his TV what's Moneypenny doing there isn't that a conflict of interest hmm oh that's nice they have a bar sign up there for the pilots they have a very loose dress code at this business or Tora just the one um this is cyst on the back of your head it pop years sitting spin come in Thunderbirds Johnny Astro real radar Claude Rains pops the clutch and tells the world to eat his dust he hmm James Brolin in the car Michael I want all episodes of Captain nice burn oh my god her bees gone bananas well this is Bob going my imminent death hole a Screen Gems presentation go away Waldo pepper thanks for the all-clear Moneypenny suddenly she's a coffee table you know I love my torsos and you I think I know why Thunder ball was a hit you never saw him kiss anyone in it this is Rita braver reporting to you live from Krakatoa east of Java here come the clown there might be bees burning in there I've gotta save them hmm smells good Hey look what I found I think it's a guy oh he's patron now better call Paul Prudhomme I'm gonna run on the sprinkler will be Nikki now you know there's probably nothing but bass jigs in there Colet foamy is so thick put out this fire Oh guys I'm gonna go start lunch I'll meet you back at the ranch sandwiches again okay yeah later it's too late it's dead all right only get him out of here let's start them up quick some lip blusher oh this game again thanks Roy I appreciate your help now why is she dressed like Barney Rubble mustang sally' you better slow that Mustang down hello Maya speaking Ward died in the explosion it's that okay the box with me Oh fine now let's get to work on his girlfriend the Japanese oh and puppies Secretary's week I bought you a gun how will you make it on your own it's up to you now hmm this time I want the girl alive I've got a few questions to ask her oh and lose the Ringo hat so you're not wearing any pants the banks of Circle Pines add new city ordinance all buildings to be painted beige get Christie wha Oh see this is what happens when you Bob for french fries mmm gentlemen here we have a practical example of the theories I have Illustrated I suggest we Aqsa cute the two weeks ago the patient you see here miss Yasuko sustained first and second degree burns at my hands on her face as shown on the slides I'm looking for a Fang me here from Edinburgh last week when I saw this girl's condition he decided to operate immediately before scar tissue began to form I'm glad to be back here in time to show you the results of this operation personally it's great to be here thanks for supporting live surgery fantastic see now Michael Jackson's journey is complete a miracle in plastic surgery don't you think a miracle yes plastic surgery hmm oh she's turning Japanese I really think so the results are due not only to modern surgical technique but also to an ancient Tibetan process defined as the hypnotic process of Total Recall it differs from the usual hypnosis in that it allows us to operate with the complete surrender of the subconscious you nurse obtain the patient's collaboration Japan Oh dr. matthew g maputo chatter who can tell me your vote in yards that's non-experience yeah or Abajo Sakai doctor who Fung was asking me if it would be possible to make a demonstration of hypnosis of Total Recall no this experiment requires the outlay of a great deal of energy why don't you try it why aren't you by no no not the young lady her hats too big excuse me doctor I really thought that I was just whispering actually it's my fault I didn't hear you but I am capable of lip-reading I would say the young lady is not an ideal subject for this sort of thing she's hot he appears to have unusual willpower I'm afraid he would take too long I found that out the hard way however we have miss Yasuko with whom I have already conducted experiments of the same type and it would simplify things if Miss Yasuko would agree Thank You mr. Connery's brother all right what an evening gentlemen please watch Neil Rock maybe a second hear of it sweet all right here's the church here's the steeple open the door and go to sleep on the sixth sense with Gary Collins the powers of Matthew star you know is Rick Wakeman on the premises you did about the cast of Jacques Brel arrives on the scene now miss Yasuko has lost direct contact with time he thinks she's in dress later in the Wartortle room right up to the present day is at our disposal it can be totally brought back if we so desire because every experience she has lived through has been registered on her subconscious or from the air void of precision than the most highly developed electronic brain let's pants our subconscious for now what are you doing leave her alone I ever tell Tuesday well the Rodney King verdict just came in Nancy Sinatra's kicking ass role in massacre fights back not exactly Jackie Chan isn't everybody stop flipping I'm not a hugger please you heard me you know I can read lips could I tell you I can read lips I'm reading lips right now naughty little girl sam donaldson sails from the dark side they need coffee in there quick it's Michael Caine look out well that was easy jeez I'm already running ahead of schedule I wonder who that yes hurry we just came to beat everybody up we're leaving out thanks I hate to be interrupted when I give a lecture you hurt or John Fry's dead this man is dead no duh yes unfortunately I found myself distracted so I used the sublime attend me it's me don't tell me doctor that there's anything that would be able to distract you oh yes for instance when a charming girl keeps gazing out of the window while a brawl is going on I get it it's your fault if my jaw is broken oh I'm sorry look what can I do to make it up to you meet my house what do you mind your gadgets ago I've got another idea link you should live in missionary or sees maybe Oh Jules really going off the deep end this time all I know is in this outfit I feel like a total fem you know what I don't have a problem with it you know well I do alright time for my daily back rub who's going to do the honors Joel none of us have working arms I know hey Joel what is that thing it's all part of my diabolical plan but it's just a useless prop that you built it's not even connected to anything I know you Joe is there any point to this I've got a lot of work to do would you mind telling us what this is all about that's stole you're ruining it for me you it appears to me really fun schedule I know wait until the judge gives his verdict what else can you do don't forget we have a corpse to deal with here corpse mr. Schue COEs disappeared too sorry doctor I'm Todd Lewis George remain in our disposal until the investigation is over how long will that take we're moving as fast as we can but please don't set foot outside the limits of Montecarlo until you get the okay from us but I have to go back to Columbia University I have some operations that are waiting I can't remain here indefinitely the former Miss Moneypenny sir your highness there's your van come on I hope you'll be very happy together oh he's hardly Shawn I realized but he comes cheap the Osterman weekend which I was right that's an ugly beard you can see the resemblance to John Saxon think sir I'm not so sure that really I don't think he's quite so good-looking yeah oh yeah why don't we shave the beard off just to make sure just peel it or it is mine I'm attached to it I wanted to remain right there and furthermore I'd like to know what's going on here I'm cunning and I like can't rescue knowledge for Western Europe remember the elf empiricism miss Maxwell my assistant you're the brother of our topic Michael Ovitz so I think we can trust you Tommy mika-nee candy cane mmm the flirting nan you'll got it mm-hmm Swiss steak for lunch lucky guy I'd like to make a confession I think you're hot huh you know Dave Barry's not funny I should have used mission turn your head you're fine drop that knife from your mind we'll find walking what does he have a furball or something drop I said I am The Walrus coo coo cachoo yeah I think I had her in eighth grade now time for his catheter ooh she's a flibbertigibbet love the whis clown I want this problem called Maria taken care of permanently sister Mary mayhem Father forgive me but I have murdered yea though I walk through the shadow of the valley of death make me happy how'd I do she is good there is a role for women in the church sisters are doing it for themselves sin and the art of archery this handy hostage packs into a compact nine by fourteen case hard case also available she's making a human burrito make it snappy sister we got other pickups come on our merit of the Lord you know well boy I'd kill for a jump cut right about now oh lord please took my work reflecting and our knife a few the proud the Opus Dei benedictus qui Vania did a little dirty voodoo pow is this a documentary on how to do this whatever this is or she's a stunt done you know I saw her get interviewed on the Sci Fi Channel zendo to an outward-bound and this is the result now this is when you sit back and watch it all come together let Hertz put you in the ambulance check Turk 182 we'll have her back tomorrow human cleaners will clean your humans overnight husbands were ruled same right now let's review the steps on how to run a hostage down a rope um could we stop it at Baskin Robbins oh they're repo clergy dr. Connery would you look at that photo it was in mr. Schue COS bag she said you know him it's ward Jones he was planning to marry her then I showed up I met him when he took my course in hypnosis the one I gave in Japan a very capable chap thinks he's a chicken saw Jones killed this morning what's been killed by the same people who try to kidnap Mitsuko this rivalry she's back in our hands Ward had important information he wanted to sell us unfortunately was killed before he got it to us naturally Ward asked us to protect Jessie ago because he'd given her some secret information and he was afraid she might be in danger now she denies this abscess it's important to be Jones wrap up and I'm inclined to think she's telling the truth but we can't find any explanation to his business then I'll explain it to you what happened was just this is a special yoga technique quite complicated but very effective briefly it's very possible to communicate knowledge of the state of hypnosis of Total Recall the subject himself doesn't know he knows but he would be able to repeat verbatim if he was again hypnotized to the same extent but do you mean let's have Ward Jones precisely you're well it's clear Ward used yashuko as a human electronic brain a sort of impregnable safe to keep his secrets in oh hey that you know how to open of course I'm sorry but I can't help you I'll be too busy for the next few days why doctor all you have to do is to walk around Monte Carlo for the next few days and so the police decide to let you go and return doubt and if I help you out you'll get me out is that what you mean freedom always has a price tag attached to it Oh oh I guess we're early his I hate that suit well he's had it poor guy I've never seen a knife like that before one side the scaler and every for any clues he died listening to rush only 112 put it in a projector right away he then had time to get a photo the pocket-sized machine that goes ping this is the GAF murder view master sister chuck yeager that flower actually takes pretty good pictures logic left off and it's Canada's planet owes one of the most powerful gangs in the world they beat me up when I was a kid so they're mixed up in this then what kind of a hospital a running here this has been a little pretty silly really better being Sean in a spy movie is starting to sag and Ed Asner is there looks like the Bigfoot video will same stride the Alps are beautiful but dumb from the street this place looks really small but from the back it's huge Wow good god I'm ugly scared my own children out of the nursery today I've decided we're entering from Schlotzsky's standing in front of a trumpet below we're ordering lunch what do you want excuse me I'm three minutes late that's okay we're a pretty loose group nice hat he's three minutes late gentlemen start your engines operation black man will Bailey is droid to a close it's been a lot of fun for all of us to carry you through successful it suddenly they control the world's gold reserves requires on poultry discipline ups plunge for me sir here represent the gold reserves of the six wealthiest nations of the world and your respective duties are waiting for it to lure these six powers into our trap you realize gentlemen I'm binding that this is the greatest financial undertaking in history you trace the Japanese girl she's in Malaga miss beaning if you mean you want me to go with you to Spain I can't accept the invitation but it's a quick trip unpleasant sorry but I won't play any spy games if you let them snatch your sugar from under your nose that's your fault take off the Tam O'Shanter ate a minute you come back out now I have a cable from the Minister of Health mr. Fang you under my orders for a month see I like you do you like me look Minister of Health operation double-o girl scout I can't read that's an older doctor as well kiss my whites cutters ours have time to change seven I'll be waiting the valve you Solari you have a plane to catch waiting in the bomb in the bra I'm gonna get you I will just hanging out in the yard have you lost anything yes it's had third of my dress the button came off very thoughtful bow she has handles thank you it's very kind of you on any reward oh yeah can I get your brother's autograph come on doctor you have a plane to catch one second there's a reward I must collect hey just remember your name is Neil Connery now getting the plane to leave the account open Nexis wedding people the airport that's all below double entendre I hope I see you again I think she's neat we'll say gonna blend in now and it sounds like the British invasions waiting for a flight out and when you're deplane in Malaga you'll be greeted by Manfred Mann we should be here do I have enough time to beat up the band they call it the mercy beat in five minutes she'll be screaming for mercy thank you - playing a penguin song it's money buddy over 20 penny that's okay will you marry me the telegram just came and I left my dear little bride Consuelo and all of the other guests in front of the church max I'm getting married today Moneypenny oh where is your shoe Co watch me dance oh not another poll is in hockey at first sight I took you born is it what did you lost me and my necklace it's so sweet to see you again doctor hey it's Bernie from room 222 - Conor you're so very kind as usual my pleasure I'm very kind by Nature I'll remember that hair by Jim Henson why don't you remember it night hey who's your favorite clown oh hey that's me doctor sorry my husband Fang ha ha this Friday on streets well this must be the traditional call to gambling in my car one gets mayor fatso well it's a little drafty in the winter but you can really stretch out you're shook up hey this isn't how we left her with you he who withdraws the blade is rightwise born King of England who's been here some guy with a knife huh who a girl she didn't have anything to do with this but this is not yashuko where was no your so called she's a double I tell you a good double but that's all solid double down the line are you sure positive I know her pretty well I've operated on her face that means that they used her as bait to keep us off the track are you gonna marry me or why I want to find the real yashuko and still alive I've a feeling you'd better begin moving fast right what have you lost this time I've lost my lighter and my dignity do you ever walk upright like other people pantsuits from The Mary Tyler Moore collection IRA lighter where would I go oh there it is yeah uh excuse me huh yeah oh yeah do you have a nip cigarettes not in front of Sir Walter Raleigh plant plant my reward that's it you've got gorgeous eyes you know ah do you really like very much and I have one Oh Neal this isn't right I don't think that she's got a key on her face secret agent John Ivan Palmer and now you will do whatever I want and you will tell me everything I want to know let's talk hug you and you must obey me who sent you here Thanatos yes lip-sync who was there chief Edna to hell nobody knows the trouble of alien mining I don't know do you know where they have hidden yashuko yes in lattes villa near Malaga just past the crossroad of Marbella via Tom Thumb and is it heavily guarded it's surrounded by a high tension fence and there's a machine gun too whether that's heavily guarded I suppose it depends on your definition of heavily guarded can I get your brother's autograph you know you've got beautiful eyes to know you've got beautiful eyes no you've got beautiful eyes and then of course I oh my god well it looks like nobody in your family is a rank amateur let me get rearranged yeah mr. fate this was supposed to be my wedding tonight I'm sorry to break up your little tete-a-tete but we received information that your schuko is being held prisoner outside Grenada that's funny the opposite direction what told you that she told me she told me hmm no let her go oh we might ruin everything wow what a cigarettes maximum tanning the president's analyst you know some people just can't wake up no matter how many alarms they said now looks like you got an extra game there sacre bleu sacre bleu huh oh yeah sacre bleu well let's go left looking good it's alright you can rest calm down Martha Graham with her hair down they've made you suffer haven't they how can they make such a pretty girl suffer like that I'm asking myself the same thing you mustn't be afraid of me yeah I have seen Oh Miller clear we women understand each other don't worry here water it's what's for dinner drink it'll do you good your bread will be out shortly I'll let you look at the menu what you want from me I told you I don't know anything I really don't know anything why are you so obstinate I get it from my father we know that Warren confided something to you it's not true no it's that turn is that true how many times do I have to tell you I don't know anything for how can I convince you if you talk I shall reward you in a way you can't even imagine I'll leave you'll live with me do you smoke a princess but I don't know anything I sweat it welcome to nookie hell I love in turn a lot down here is good sir I'm here they all love to raise ideal like Gauguin and friggin Tahiti here yeah I'm really hot are you HOT Jesus go Charlie you're my knight in shining armor hey Greg heard it through the grapevine huh is that darn thing going to work operation double-double oh he Holl my calculations are correct the short circuit should cause a return of current capable of blowing up the turret with the ammunition hmm anyway I got Lulu backing me up who do you who do you keep this is her local utility company reminding you to call before you are Fran Lebowitz need it Hansie everybody welcome to a segment we like to call the Shawn and Neal show parallel lives in which we look at and contrast the careers of Sean Connery and his brother Neil Connery well star of today's movie yeah yeah this line represents Sean's life this one represents Neil's life give you example Sean's acting talent is discovered at an early age and leads to a long and lucrative film career while Neil's tell him for selling light bulbs over the phone is discovered leading to a long life of menial jobs an aimless drifting well up here is when Sean gets his first million-dollar royalty cheque for the James Bond series while Neil gets his first $65 unemployment cheque after being laid off from the cheese factory yeah here Sean is declared sexiest man alive by People magazine while Neil is declared the stinky cat man in room 4 be by the other tenants in its SRO hotel here Sean calls the most powerful and influential people in Hollywood and has put through immediately while Neil calls Pizza Hut and is told that they won't deliver to him because of bounced checks here Sean is quoted as saying during the making of the man who would be king I had creative differences with director John Huston while Neil is quoted as saying my manager at the Happy Chef won't let me off for weekends what a dink man here Sean goes to Spago's and is seated immediately while Neil's hot plate malfunction and burns down his shabby furnished room so Joel what about that point on the graph where Sean's line actually goes lower than Neil's oh well that was the point where Sean agreed to do Highlander to the quickening and ironically that's when Neil had to comfort Sean boy you know we should remind the nice folks out there that this is merely artistic speculation on our part of Neil Connery's life for all we know he's leading a prosperous happy existence on a farm in Scotland with his beautiful wife and adoring children that's right Tom and no matter what's gone wrong with his life Neil can always look in the mirror and say to himself well at least they didn't do his art of writing so Neil wherever you are we would all just like to say well don't you go along in thought that one okay move let the girl go if you love your hostage let her go drop that knife drop it do your samples and Linda hunts in a deadly game of cat and mouse she's so calm her roommate just got shot and she's so cool well sad [ __ ] Julie Pig album and the calla lilies are raining hot lead gamelan hamon crew Catalan jefra Heflin is the shakiest gun in the woods cover me Norman The Rocketeer oh it's the only way he can talk to women I am Ward you are June Ward I told you something about Thanatos remember what I told you about Thanatos yes Thanatos sorrow holding an atomic nucleus good what else did I tell you go 22 bar six two words that one two words bite me Judy carne wait a minute she looks like shields and Yarnell she's a Tony girl go on what happens in tet1 watch bomb take shorter ninth work in that 104 a Yank die take up in touch to the second table the blind try again I wanna come on Lady you are due back in the space 1999 second Joan Jett just walks in and she takes over me sorry it's nothing I'd hoped to get here before she talked couldn't get a cab perhaps I could have saved you Oh was I supposed to do that oh I'm a picker and I'm a killer nice going you just killed Sacagawea where'd you get out of your shook oh nothing much mostly in a sort of quote it was Peter psyche as if I'm not busy enough she spoke also of teach one something strange the blind to die in take one what else did she say she wanted my brother's autograph it seems that Thanatos isn't joking they're planning to steal an atomic nucleus atomic nucleus oh that's what I use on my burn not possible North Dakota before the apocalypse Wow da-da-da-da-da-da consider Northern Illinois University atomic nucleus and only a Jeep for an escort hey we're from a bride's does a road show why Matthew were to her to Miss Kitty know they can hit 60 in Greece Bert's tailhook takes it on the road a few good men meet a few knock key women it's a man's life in the new modern army our Partridge Family van broke down she looks like an oil fire yeah then you can tan it's the [ __ ] dark band no they're just gonna tag them and check them for parasites camera camera OC gays-in-the-military right there hi gals when does the SEC start then Felina good hi don't sleep good morning now just what are these women trying to liberate all right girls get out of those clothes hmm where angels go trouble follows oh she could be a candidate for Big Bird definitely very my dress at Wounded Knee now let's get to work on the truck we got a hit loop use plays so the composer's whistling animun am i tripping Joel and Las Vegas was born they keep busy don't you want to help out here Susan tonight the Dirty Dozen meets blonsky's beauties she's like the seductress polecat had other things on the mind they're setting up a goonie call terrorists were more fun back then this is even better than Mission Impossible when they take a street in LA and make it look like Belgium it's Big Al Hirt Pete found Martinez all out of this scene who the hell was that gentlemen I prefer blondes with his usual brilliance and imagination carrot top they tie secure the atomic nucleus we need yes I did the Damocles Union position to continue with our plans they told I'll explain deal the experiments our technicians are being carrying out dressed as show girl over the past few weeks thanks for the marvelous introduction Irv I'll take it from here gentlemen I shall start by saying these are all just small-scale experiments these are all just small-scale experiments of causes but now with this powerful material at our disposal we are at last able to generate ultra high frequencies heap and to direct the magnetic wave to at least a third of the globe all metals will be instantly affected animals will be bred in small degree will fuse solidly chilly toes will be half all dynamos that Mohawk ships planes guns tanks elements everything mechanical must be so a useless lump of metal or important from high atop the Topkapi Palace in downtown Istanbul its Fred Waring in his orchestra da battle may drop later remaining monkey brains have been reduced to a dollar nineteen are nice digs Austin's then where's the guy with the pickled eggs take it to the red-room one more time you look like Electra woman and Dyna girl I guess I'm coming here up after Rubenstein and SEMICON walking arm-in-arm doctor how nice to see you again thank you one second you're dressed as a space angel why how lucky Maya asked you to come I was going to get in touch for you to arrange a meeting could you feel this bump on my head as they return game I had no idea you were so interested in archery I'm not it's your services as a plastic surgeon I'm interested in hmm why would you like to have your features change me oh no I'm quite satisfied with my face hmm and with my nose also although I do weather vane in high winds it's for a friend he wants to become the exact double of another man Bob Eubanks but for the time being there's no need for you to understand and of course you do you can state your own price Welch's for me it's not a matter of money it's primarily a matter of principle although I'm a little load named will come to an agreement you'll see we'll have time to talk about it I lost my pockets Bobbie Gentry is so good to see you again I don't know who invited him will you excuse me for a minute I won't be long I've been advised and look with decline show so many beautiful girls around you won't get bored no no you're right it's women who dust all over me I mean I got no problem Rocky Mountain Oysters thank you no thank you do you have any snackage type foods here summer sausage two aspects maybe a little raw cheese it well what have you done not very much it's difficult they're all afraid of alpha idiots maybe they're right after all alpha is powerful you've got a good bench come in there's a message from the yacht it's very urgent right well she hurts just take off that ridiculous getup and it's sign yacht it yeah huh it's from Alfa he's having a good time he's set today he wants me to join him immediately where to being married I mean it'll be the last time he gives me an order hmm I'll destroy him and I'll be the head of fanaticism is key it's not for me what about the girls they may be dangerous witnesses as soon as the operation is over the yacht will blow up remember folks he can read lips he's reading lips right now the girls aboard yes yes Maya too it's inevitable a German the yellow frog what bozo the piano chive I used to be good at this there must be no witnesses only you will share my secret you know that you can trust me huh now let's go inside and see if we can convince and remember to have fun Marla maples dr. Martha Smith thank you for your meditation coincidence I was just thinking of you I'm flattered it looks like your tomato aspic got away from her Maya there's a bigger guys in danger in serious danger are you threatening me no certainly not but I have just overheard a conversation between your mr. Thayer yes I've seen few villas as beautiful as this one it's quite splendid naturally lips my people Oh Donald Senor Mendoza Jesse Norman wants her caftan back you're not going are you I was hoping to play a hand of Samantha fair with you hmm I don't gamble mr. fair I only bail on winning horses that's why you should stay Melvin Laird's getting cheesed I have an important announcement to make I'll brew McCloud me out there I thought you had the voting majority as far as I'm concerned this meeting never happened miss Drummond leave things as they are I shouldn't advise that I'm sorry column I want to know whether you are with me or what alpha or with child I won't you be careful how you answer the Beatles oh you can put yourselves in a dangerous spot under my captains a lot more dangerous to listen to you who in a few days alpha will be dead Criswell predicts a little doom but no one will know except us within hours I'll have an exact double for alpha neat huh everything will go on as if nothing happened nothing has happened mmm but with this difference your hair can have more body and shine the new welfare will be my man well my man I love him so try to blow up soon maybe even tomorrow with you one born uh you're kind of hard to dance with you read too many novels by Fleming Jerry Fleming Ian's brother I assure you it's true your life is in great danger I'm that bad a dancer I'm serious I'll keep everything under control somehow with my control top pantyhose but seriously if my information is right you'll be indebted to me it sounds like Hercules anyway why does mr. Thayer hire only blind people in his rug factory wait I know this one I hi Largo I don't know I've never been in there only blind people are allowed to go inside and I'm blonde but seriously I can excuse me I have to go talk to an interesting person she seems nice enough shrewd of how to bring me back some three bean salad basket bloat hmm I should get me one of those it's Red October I shine I mean I could have got a light on that I didn't want to you've installed a screen door sir how'd you get this thing out of reverse this man could win $5,000 that he could shut up depends Roger I go down to you ha ha whoa brother to see your land I hope you can read Braille lips you're new here boo-ki and they say a Lou Reed shall guide them casting call for name of the rose it's the boys in the woods spicy you know I bet dolphin temp has a hard time filling these positions Bruno Bruno alright you win they're all blind Dick Enberg here hold on to each other by the shoulder and come with me well it felt like shoulder so any of you sure play a mean pinball wait a minute it's the blind leading the blind leading the blind leading the blind leading the blind weaving blind oh yeah I'm blind yeah blind yeah listen a lot and you shall hear here you will weep rough don't worry it's a simple easy job you'll get your food and your family will get your pair there's a Coke machine in the Baalak one of you will be placed at a loom and we'll begin with an easy task the little goodwill you will learn quickly now get to work we will start with a hot cup holder first wait a minute he's infiltrated a quilting bee Goodwill Industries now it can be told somebody heard him looking I say you know ironically Connery wears a rug who's the sign for that must be where they make the nuclear power drugs ah hmm shut the door I do believe I'm developing pictures of rugs in you hot L Baltimore hot L Baltimore hot L Baltimore would you please stop tapping like that you know a buffet would never work in this place are you Hank not smell like Hank this is like soap woody only in a rug factory silkworm yeah you've got some marmalade on your hand you're working with radioactive material if okay but is it that you mean by that sometimes I take you want me to fail you are working with radioactive materials do you understand yeah well I get paid $2 more an hour they're trying to murders that is why we have a source we must go Neil's a skilled rebel rouser that's not the door that's the [ __ ] I'm staying I need the money pressures down there it's gonna take you the police firepower in the National Guard to get me out of here hey this is kind of fun you know this must be five o'clock on a Friday you wanted to win we're telling me can't you tell I am fragile yeah everybody be sure to sign Vicki's birthday card before you leave she won't be here on Monday no looks like casual day backfired Maui this Pony all right let him go Oh heels just a little too Damascus and whammo look at me it's wearing a Braille jacket come on that is pretty good huh can I look in a visit bad touch your Arabic is quite good are there dates from the time of the Crusades doctor Congress oh I could never fool you give me a hug is it nice to know there goes ladies and gentlemen Maynard Ferguson in the Centennial senior high school gym Bobby Jo get back here you're an extraordinary man doctor I know let me show you my time life lively imaginative and resourceful my sons of humor - it's too bad you prefer to play on the opposing team - bad from your point of view whoo yes but it is my point of view that counts I know you are but what am i if you've done me the small favor I ask dear marketing by now there would have been more chip dip no such complications as these now you'll have to operate anywhere under less favourable circumstances you understand well what else can I do again oh it's a new car well neat where's the bar here is your patient doctor doctor patient patient doctor everything's ready for you I want to be generous so here's a quarter in return for your services get to rub my tummy your life you come a long way baby to get where you got to today can I borrow your miniskirt for the party Alito because I've got to warn them I've just learned that we're going to have to fight for our lives there's decided to blow up the yard with all of us aboard come on that's a bad thing right if it stops so will your look I just came in for a haircut really just a little off the sides oh okay how are we today good good uh-huh looking good how's that little prostate problem you all right you can go and we have the night canopy please you know I think that operating room clashes with the college just relax they're tired you want to rest hmm that's right relax you have nothing to fear we're going to enter your nostril good Steve Austin relax that's a class versus a couple of talks he could be Roy Thinnes where was your chest on the name of the 23rd oh he typed that speaker from a drive-in as soon as Connery is completed the operation you'll get new sweater in eliminating hi it's Toni Basil who the last vote boy women have really broken through the glass ceiling in this movie yeah but there's a guy looking up through it women can love widow Kalin without wha it's closing time and odors do he deserve that still it was worth a rule Olay now you will follow my instructions sit stay you won't have a moment of peace till it's all finished can you even die my eyes to match my doll any old time you know let's see here that you haven't been flossing no how do you like your martini shaken or stirred I'm taking the president's nose now go I love you damn it police squad in color think this John Entwistle bull did too boo boo Danny let's settle this in court we watch out for the model ship an actual Donnybrook in Easy Spirit pumps it's the wackiest ship in the Navy went up with people goes bad that was a real Capezio kick someone's a fight enter the chiropractic truckers stop this thing right now I highlight some rules I woke up you weren't there I hate that watch out for the model he'll write into a Bob Fosse routine mrs. partridge look out no this is a one-seater homer until a blue were where the action is or hootenanny happening 60 yeah if Sam Peckinpah directed the boat Knicks look who's wearing a line as shirt it's no reason to hit him if there's no one to these little blue guys hey well that's a cute top Cindy where'd you get it with that is one figure-hugging turtleneck Oh poopy licorice Oh oh great now the boats sinking I finally got used to this wait a minute he's becoming part of his own entertainment center excuse me pardon me coming through scuse me off broken out oh hi oh oh excuse me pardon me oh I'm sorry oh hi Betty oh ah scuse me pardon me and this Belko shows his true colors of yellow and flees the Calypso and as we left the clam flowers that day stopped tight yeah let's see a hypnotizing premiere mr. cool he's heading there we can't worry about that right now we got to find Tenedos headquarters now the radioactive rugs were made at the factory where were they said I really never knew that but once I heard something about a place near Munich no no no Mon just let me try to hypnotize you crow like Fort Knox look you can't make me you can't make me you can't make me what ha Joel so sorry to interrupt your little skit but Frank would like to do a number I was a little hard on him during the invention exchange so here's our own TVs Frank accompanying himself on the accordion with the haunting beer barrel polka - and one two three four that's rather nice not really a polka for a march three familiar your guard the mr. Gibbs that you ordered sir oh thank you just put them on that you what then you either pair I specifically ordered a diet squirt I'm so sorry gentle men um make it right no no no Frank have the mr. Pibb you can have the mr. Pibb this time no my doctor says I can't have mr. Pibb Frank I'm your doctor and I say have them mr. Pibb hey master wanted you to have these coupons for for our veggie feast he wanted you to have them but I'm giving them to you there thank you thank you very much I have to thank you thank you yes have a nice day I was thank you goodbye oh um may I use your bathroom there on the left all right let's land the directional elevator indicates that's the spot Oh high on a hill let the lonely goatherd so you might want to take an alternate route this afternoon this place is crawling with Chad King hmm maybe you should land before you get out oh honey you got your keys your keys she's new Oh oh this feels great pleather is really something I'm beginning the countdown countdown knock it off Trevor 20 seconds the warning signal funny movie it's concrete he's found the secret entrance such a curious man I'll satisfy his curiosity heading in double-double and silver design turn it off sir someone's doing a drug test outside I'm gonna shut you down till about 20 okay Trevor Trevor Connor is now in the tunnel oh that's the outer limits I'm not going in the tunnel oh I am in the tunnel how do I reach down here I put that thing away right there well she's not the only smooth one that's for stealin my naugahyde couch Maya you better call London eating over the vibrators vibrators in certain yeah you can't say that so how come everybody's got Count Basie following Heidi's grown up what oh the backstabber stabbers thank you Ron Popeil what would my brother do well that must be the finite building so I guess nobody's going to notice the guy in the tan suede ranch jacket are they sunrise bam leave me alone Airwolf meets dr. Zhivago but should we be moving or something Oh giggle okay everybody when that lady gets off the helicopter check out her pants and she doesn't lose a Jesus Murphy wait can I get help for crying out where's the valet forget it hello mrs. pants that mean I would be an expresso please it's terribly urgent London in England how do you expect to do that telephone please help me it's a matter of life or death you can try I don't know if you'll get through well there's Waldo whoa 31 30 seconds magnetic intensity at concentration level a few Charles Aznavour mill 25 netic wave ready to function system laboratory hello London extension 142 I want to speak with commander Cunningham immediately it's terribly urgent never mind Who I am hurry five bottles beer and four bottles of beer in the wall three to the Castle Hill lonely goatherd but our Father Munich one singular sensation the headquarters are 20 miles per hop hello hello I don't know why you say goodbye I say hello we've been cut up well I'm not calling her back I'm wondering what are the simple folk do you whatever whether they stood to my underwear bra that does it now where did I park we smooth go get it boy you know those slacks hurt me then you say but people the cloud so mr. bonds brother I'm happy to have you as my guest again oh I'll show you how the operation works on our anti-magnetic you could fit more you can really terrific and that's the last favor I can do you I only allowed you to live because I wanted you to witness my success I've got what I wanted without your help yeah take him away I think I'm supposed to have some snappy comeback no further keep going don't look at me like that suddenly it's the brothers freaking terawatts off the magnetic wave is blocked it knock you a champion atcha - oh sorry about that I'm a pretty good fighter though and I guess that can be useful to an it their cars broke their horses will poop on the parking lot but they outlawed night oh you guys look really stupid plastic pants plastic pants Jim Cooper's gun oh boy another staredown with neil oh go mental Rick what's wrong with you there's my Phillips screwdriver duty to do a wheel a wheel go we fade stop pretending this is exciting looks just like a YouTube video under a blood that's good Neil Connery you should be able to get him all my pants my hands oh what a time for a fire drill ah Co that alligator skin head helps you now huh come on girls they hurt buddy mummy Jolson wait does not know if no take amigo I got it now where you going to try to blow up the tower hold it take this my grandma gave it to me it's an antique magnetic thing can I set the dial show you good we'll cover you okay I won't meet you there good sale Murr [ __ ] Brigade Oh throw right on it Oh again man huh Burke Burke Burke Burke no time Michael later room trade yeah Oh the archer must be on this case the archers these everybody gets a turn here huh encore mommy mr. Belvedere better parked the hard drive here let's take this is your last chance for a witty remark at your own game doctor that's a perfect setup for witty remark come on I mean come on doctor it's no good if you don't retort can be anything to be about my nose or my stupid alligator suit anything hey that's not fair these are soggy in the search roof okay use the stunt badge you know guys I think this is about more than just magnetizing and this goes much deeper stop Margo what guys yep hey somebody punched the Foley guy okay okay take back everything you ever said about me oh man am i moist totie Fields was never this moist I found prepare to meet colleagues brother near he'll go fight at the okay Corral I'm gonna do it you know he's gonna need a vinyl patch kit yep Oh or this guy's still added great they're beating up LeBeau you know for some reason I like to fight on the boat better you feel haver hey everybody there's a party going down you know before the tower blows up well oh oh and I forgot to tell you earlier that there's a tower that's going to blow up in this oh I just got it that's the tower that's gonna blow up didn't tell us about quick we gonna die we're really not that far away he Brigadoon compound exploded today Jana and Meg escaped unharmed unfortunately Bonnie Jean has died kinda like watching Bonanza in Reverse that must be the Thunder ball I heard them talk about hey relax we won you hothead okay Connery okay you were fantastic you even made my best agents look like beginners oh I shouldn't think so commander I was lucky that no you're too modest you should have seen your brother's face doctor when he had it settled back with a smoother NFL you happen to have a few days free I'm just thinking I'd be happy to have you back in the reserves with the rank of mate if I wasn't so placid right now he would as church Stevens a good sleeper wait you watch Major Nelson what was it I say that you have to return to London immediately isn't that right commander boom it works on my brain remember this summer yes of course I must return immediately and I will say this loud singer I am mrs. Norman Maine yeah this is the part my brother told me about nope I guess I should take my own life if Yeah right the Angel of Death high-powered rifle Kalitta crossfire we're having fun at his expense it's fun yeah ready girls let's go you probably hypnotized through no liking it yeah I should think that life would lose a lot of its if it fell yet ultimate power over everyone to do Sean Connery's brother won't be back again did anything I guess so what's that how do you suppose this happen we're stuck to the war crime innately cat oh are you guys stuck to the wall yeah we're immobilized we're stuck oh I bet I know whose idea this was sirs was this your idea huh hmm why do all I you got me nolo contendere ha I saw the movie remembered I had my old magnetizer these things are great gotta admit it's pretty funny I'm stucked at a wall it's no use Joel it ain't gonna work I'm stuck oh oh no one quit give it rocket number nine very funny sirs but I'll you know that you're probably interrupting at your gobbling that don't tell communication yeah who wouldn't want to do that don't worry we'll demagnetize you guys later ha ha ha ha ha black eyed mine hair whoa Lindsay iron Legion how about a recall an hour ins until next time Joel auf wiedersehen thank you

Channel: analogkid01

Views: 510,350

Rating: 4.8149738 out of 5

Keywords: MST3k

Id: 14Mfmn7vN4g

Length: 95min 6sec (5706 seconds)

Published: Thu Jun 02 2011

Reddit Comments

[u/Donkey__Balls]

Wow...Neil Connery finally won.

[u/NotTheRocketman]

.....I know.

[u/stevegiovinco]

One of first thoughts.

[u/SmudgyTheBootblack]

Just remember your name is NEIL Connery, now get in the plane!

[u/MrZJones]

.... I honestly hope Neil's doing okay.

[u/FlyingSquid]

He thrills me... he kills me...

[u/MeggyNeko]

You read too many books by Fleming...

[u/danmanx]

Just watched this the other day. Looks like I'm watching some classic Bond movies tonight in memory. What a talented actor. He will not be forgotten.