My sister in law wants me to give her a diamond engagement ring for free

by the a for denying my future sister-in-law an engagement ring I come from three generations of jewelers and though my family is no longer in the business I still enjoy buying and selling loose gemstones for my own collection or to be set into custom pieces I'm extremely close to my husband's family and I have either cheaply sold or simply given them stones rings to propose to their significant others my oldest brother in law has been dating his girlfriend for the past six years and while they are both a piece of work to say the least they're family so we tolerate them in doses while we talk to and visit the other in-laws on a weekly basis these two only come around when an event is going on or when they need money and they alway need money my pending sister-in-law while sweet at times is mostly bratty tacky spoiled and loud she usually is the source of drama and my current headache at the moment every first Saturday of the month the family hooks up for breakfast things started off normally today but they announced that finally they were ready to tie the knot we all had genuine excitement and breakfast turned into a boozy celebration then near the end while everyone is waiting for the check they asked if they can come back to the house to pick out a ring just like that Micke drop it shocked me because they didn't ask he didn't come to me or Harvey beforehand to see if it was even a possibility and while I do have some options I did not appreciate the assumption that I was going pull diamonds out of Maya without any discussion and straight-up said no I'd be willing to help them find something at their price point commercially my in a smog woke up all hell broke loose she straight-up throws a fit and begins calling out my other sister-in-laws who did have help from me with their rings and of course they are embarrassed it's not something we just talk about and I don't hang it over anyone's head brother in-law starts trying to pick a fight with my husband telling him that he needs to check me all of this is driving home that mild the spot decision was the right one drama apparently wants to have it stay because while most of the table is trying to diffuse this until we can leave the restaurant my mother-in-law of all people throws rock fuel on the dumpster fire by saying that I'm being selfish and that there's no reason why we shouldn't help she and I have had our differences in the past during my and my husband's crazy Honi teenage years but haven't openly feuded since we've been adults being the superhero that Eva's my husband got us T F out of there but since this morning we have been ignoring our phones as this plays out we are both P update this took up my whole Saturday Milind Phil came over in person to talk about what happened Finn agreed that bill and future SIL were out of line and apologized in their behalf once this came out of his mouth Mill had a meltdown she still believed that a ring was deserved and even after explaining my reasoning basically said that I set a standard and since they can not afford it on their own it was my responsibility to step up I nearly lost it with her but instead of giving back all the venom that I'd been choking on I left the house Phil came outside and helped me calm down while she and Hobbes talked I haven't gone in depth of how this affected things are all but the fallout spread fast the family has been through a lot recently and I did not want this to add more into the pot even though pettiness was strong within me between talking to him and texting my husband at ground zero I actually decided to compromise I have a pear-shaped moissanite that I bought out of curiosity but did nothing with after it started trending a few years ago for those who do not know moissanite is a popular alternative to diamonds it's just been sitting in my collection and I figured why the duck not I could actually give them something and be done with it all providing that apologies were made to myself the other in-laws and that they got it set on their own Phil did not want me to offer it at first but I explained why and he reluctantly agreed he called bill shred him for a moment but eventually told them my terms I got on the line and explained what the moissanite was the weight and cut since I had no idea what her preferences were other in-laws chose stones that weren't traditional as well so I wanted to make sure she even wanted what I offered they did the change in their attitudes felt like this was the right choice I told them to just come on over once they got here they immediately apologized and HUDs got mill to do the same though he gave me the worst sight I the whole time showed them the stone and future sill just start squirting tears out of happiness I'm a big softy honestly if things hadn't gone down they way they did I would have cried with her I gave her the stone certification after the waterworks and things did a complete 360 she and bill went from loving it to being offended that the damn thing wasn't a diamond even though I'd explained this when giving the specs on the phone she was actively facetiming her her mom showing her the stone on her hand which lead to them calling me a horrible person for getting their hopes up bill stops short of insulting me again as Hut stepped in and instead says that I've disrespecting his fan K the whole time we'll actually had the audacity to demand that she will pick out a real stone and to see what else I have like I'm a ducting sales clerk not in my own house here I'm staring at this Twilight Zone [ __ ] as they start arguing and I'm just standing in my kitchen watching it all play out again I have reached levels of real anger before but I think this was the first time I could say I felt actual fury they pushed me to fulfill my lifelong dream to scream at people to get the duck out of my house at the top of my lungs repressed feelings much things got quite fast and in that space I snatched my Shmack so fast that I accidentally dropped the Moysey and it bounced or got kicked out of sight cue my inappropriate fed-up laughter I couldn't hold it in Hubbs and Phil got everyone out after that and as of now they are banned from the house I'm cutting them all off with no remorse as of yet no one has called me personally but word ease that the grand dame is livid I still don't know why she's so vehement about all of this to be honest while bill and SIL are thinking about getting tutus vs rings I have no comment Hubbs feels like he's at fault for everything but I've explained there's no way I blame him for his family's actions he thought I was too nice to offer in a Phil and I are linking up to discuss radishes he's amazed by the platform so hey something good came from this we have looked for the stone and so far we have no ducking idea where it is confession time it's slightly satisfying that we can't locate it where is sister Rinella when you need her for those concerned I do not keep loads of loose gems and jewelry in our home I have my jewelry that stays in a hidden safe when I'm not wearing it and raw gems and crystals of little value decoration my spaces like the little which I am heirloom items and other things stay locked in safety deposit boxes leftover from my parents we have proper security measures in place after a break and a few years ago so I apologize if I seemed nonchalant about that subject backstory my sister four years younger than me and her husband have been married around two years together for five bill and I dated during high school and it ended in the circumstances that were not ideal bill and I have not gotten along since he and sister got together my sister essentially believes I'm jealous of her for marrying my one who got away he is not that so our relationship has also suffered as a result this whole situation is already messed up and yes I'm pretty sure it's putting my therapists kid through college but that's not the problem right now recently bill has begun reaching out to me more frequently I've been very cautious but after talking over with people in my own life chose to be more friendly toward him as part of an attempt at repairing certain aspects of my relationship with the entire family last week bill asked if I would read a book he had written with the underlying implication that I would help him career-wise with his aspirations as a writer out of politeness and curiosity I said sure thinking I would perhaps get a good laugh out of it and a story to tell my publishing friends the book is about us I don't know how else to put it it's a domestic thriller so think gongo you etc about a man who realizes he has married the wrong sister and becomes obsessed with his soul it's one of the weirdest things I have ever seen it doesn't exactly read like a Festo more like something you'd see on our men writing women but aspects of the story were deeply unsettling to me personally touching on things that happened to me in high school and later and I don't understand why he would give us to me to read unless he wanted to either creeped me out or as in the story he intends to leave my sister and wanted to see if this would Jesus it's too weird to say open a door with me here's how I'm conflicted people have always used art as a form of cathartic healing if a stranger handed me this book I would just say not my taste and move on that said this is my sister's husband and I'd found certain elements of skin crawling ly uncomfortable that I almost didn't finish it that also said this is my sister's husband and I'm afraid based on the past that if I tell her about this she will flip out on me and not him and or if she confronts him he will also just lie about the whole thing and on the off chance that it's more than just tasteless catharsis I don't want my sister to get turned into a skin' suit there are no skin suits but you get it and if it is just a fictional fantasy thriller I'll either look like a paranoid or or the lawmakers who tried to bang video games after Columbine I come from a fairly well-off family and my husband and I do well although we both work hide among jobs for it we've always been very generous to his side of the family gifts are very much both my husband and my love language and in my culture Chinese elaborate gifts to in-laws are very socially acceptable as a way to show they are held in high esteem it also helps with some of our guilt for being super busy and not always around additionally my side of the family exchanges generous gifts one concern of mine originally was to treat my husband's family the same as my family that is by not spending way more on my family than his last Christmas we had some weirdness over Christmas Day present opening I had purchased a lovely cashmere throw for sale husband's brother's wife she googled the brand and price then and there which kind of annoyed me and later I overheard make some joke about how she could pay half a mortgage payment several hours later during brunch someone asked her what was wrong she seemed upset and she confessed that her presence always make her feel bad she's tired of us throwing our money in her and her husband's face and Christmas has become really stressful with pressure over gift-giving husband and I apologized profusely and did some self-reflection afterwards on the unintentional effects of elaborate gift-giving and decided to go more low-key in the future although a little part of it has always sat poorly with me since this past Saturday I attended a baby shower for the same sale it's the first gift-giving occasion since Christmas and I really wanted to do it carefully I asked a cow Walker who recently had a baby what range is typically appropriate she said she mostly got gifts between $30 to $50 and so I decided on three little things from the registry totaling just over $30 anyways at the shower it becomes clear that while certainly most gifts were in the dollar sign 30-50 range latin Diez who were family members seemed to give more like $100 gifts near the end of the event mil pulled me aside and said that SIL felt like I was being spiteful to her for Christmas I again apologized and as a cover said that husband and I had written a check for the little ones college fund as well but didn't feel it was appropriate to hand to her during the present opening then I scurried off to the bathroom and wrote a check for $100 when I found SIL by herself for a second I handed her the check and explained that we wanted to give her this earlier but present opening seemed like a bad time she looked at the check and kind of virtually said we don't need your money I kind of snapped and told her bluntly and not like yelling but not like in hushed tones either people nearby apparently definitely overheard better that I was tired of her nonsense and if it made her feel better we could just stop exchanging presents in the future she started crying and I immediately left I've been getting my texts from everyone in the family and her best friend about how I ruined the baby shower ever since for additional context my husband and his family are American and we live in the u.s. we are in our early mid thirties my bill is 28 and sillas 24 or 25 eita - I realized her comment might have made the Christmas gift sound way more than it was the throw was 320 pounds which isn't quite half a mortgage payment but not cheap either I purchased it for her during and business trip to Scotland last year it is not fancy looking or flashy at all light gray and not are obvious designer brand just an old Scottish maker it was intended to be good quality and last many years if she hadn't looked it up I don't think it would have been an obviously expensive gift I'm 25 currently 28 weeks pregnant I was dating the father but we broke up for various reasons and he has chosen not to be in the baby's life I'm doing the best I can to get by I currently live with my parents paying them rent and working my older brother 27 got married last year and I don't exactly get along with my cell but not for lack of trying when I announced my pregnancy none of my family was exactly thrilled but they rallied around me and were supportive my cell has made comments like are you sure you're ready and i whould gotten an ur the first didn't bother me so much but the second sort of did I ended up just writing it off as we all have different reactions to an unplanned pregnancy recently my mum was facetiming with my brother and sillas she made dinner I was in the living room and could hear the conversation that wasn't paying attention until I heard my mom mentioned something about the baby then my cell said it's not fair in my mum asked what's not and my Syl said that she's giving the family the first grandchild before us we are married it should have been us she stole our spotlight now I had talked to my brother when I got pregnant about him and still having kids he said they weren't trying for another few years and that tracked with what Syl has always said about wanting to be in her 30s before she has kids so it's not like they are trying and count she's just mad that I got pregnant before they wanted to this hurt my mom defended me my brother didn't he was quiet I told my mom I overheard and she told my brother he tried reaching out to defend silvered all he said was I had to see why she would want to have the first grandbaby I just said until she apologised and he learns to stick up for his sister I'm not speaking to either of them my dad says I'm being unfair and causing family drama that I should just forgive and move on I say no I'm seriously debating if I want her around my kid unless she apologizes am I being in a a few months ago my brother and Nelson announced their intention to marry the invitation to the wedding stated no dress code wear whatever is comfortable for you in hindsight I think they put that there since the event was at a lake I didn't think much of the disclaimer at the time because it's a wedding I should dress respectably for such an occasion and I have a healthy selection of formal wear in my wardrobe I chose a beautiful blue three-piece suit yesterday was the wedding when I showed up I noticed everyone was dressed way more casually than I was I'm talking polos many people wearing shorts only a few people wearing slacks and button-down I did feel a little out of place my brother was wearing a suit with no tie and my Sill was wearing a modest white dress the only comment I got on my attire during the event was a joke from my dad saying I looked like I'm marrying the silh but that was it a few hours ago I got a call from Syl holy Sh she has pee at me she was asking why I dressed like a pimp I upstaged her and my brother and I stuck out like a sore thumb on the photos I referenced the invite and how she said there was literally no dress code and I was dressing respectfully she was going on about how that implicitly meant not formal I told her that she sholde specified not formal to leave less interpretation freedom she asked if I was that [ __ ] I told her that just because she's family doesn't give her the right to blame a miscommunication on me and call me a [ __ ] I hung up she spammed my phone with calls so I blocked her and texted my brother I'll talk to her when she's ready to be less verbal ei was eyeing the wrong edit clarified she said I snuck out on the photos edit too my brother said I'm welcome to come over for dinner later I am blocked her number no call spam so that's a good sign edit three had dinner with my brother and salut Lea she showed me the pictures and I can kind of see what she was talking about I told her I'm sorry for being and aware and that being unaware was still shove me because I did notice I was out of place and I should have tried to do something she said she was sorry for yelling at me earlier she's still annoyed about it but said it would be silly to keep this over my head so yeah I don't think we are gonna be on Jerry Springer as far as I can tell [Music] [Music] you

Channel: Ask Girl

Views: 94,479

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Keywords: reddit girl, reddit sil, reddit sister in law, reddit engagement, reddit wedding, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit girl, askreddit sil, askreddit sister in law, askreddit engagement, askreddit wedding, askreddit, r/ girl, r/ sil, r/ sister in law, r/ engagement, r/ wedding, r/

Id: Upsvoobq21w

Length: 19min 3sec (1143 seconds)

Published: Thu May 21 2020