I want my best friend to be the godmother to the baby I'm having with her boyfriend

am i VA for asking my best friend to be the godmother to the baby I'm having with her boyfriend okay I know that title sounds terrible but hear me out I met my best friend on the first day of our freshman year of college and we've been super close ever since she's the platonic love of my life she met her boyfriend two years ago after she and I moved to New York together her boyfriend's a great guy they are super cute together and I know they want to get married the thing is she and her boyfriend are both on the we'll decide yes I know they go to group events as a couples activity for example personally I identify as B and have participated in a handful of three with both men and women a few months ago my friend asked me if I might be willing to participate in with her and her boyfriend I was a little surprised at first but it honestly didn't faze me that much my friend and I made out a few times in college so this wasn't a huge leap I said I'd be down and the event happened not long after that there were no C involved which in retrospect was obviously done but my friend and I are both on the pill and we honestly assumed we'd have er if anything surprising ever happened of course I found out I was pregnant I immediately told my friend and she was super there for me came over to my house ate a bunch of ice cream made sure I was okay etc the problem came however when I realized I couldn't get an A obviously I'm pro-choice but when it came down to it the idea of terminating horrified me when I told her I was gonna keep the baby my friend totally freaked out at me she told me she couldn't believe I actually wanted to raise her boyfriend's baby and that it was disgusting of me to want to start a family with the man she loves we didn't talk to each other for a few weeks we slowly started talking to each other again mostly over texts not in person but she was definitely still mad she told me it was going to take her a long time to be able to move past it but that she was working on it then we got brunch together one of our first times really hanging out since I'd told her I wasn't getting the a over the course of the meal I asked her if she would be the baby's godmother since she's my best friend in the world she absolutely freaked out she told me that she couldn't believe I would ask something so insensitive she told me that she couldn't bear to be the godmother to a child who's probably going to be the bane of her existence for the rest of her life while I don't feel bad for deciding to keep my baby I'm wondering if I'm vea for how I'm handling the situation edit a few people have mentioned wondering how the father boyfriend reacted and while he's obviously not thrilled about the situation he said that he'll support whatever choice I want to make about the baby and he'll pay child support though he doesn't want to take on a huge role in its life edit to another small clarification since I realized I didn't include it originally I don't know if this makes any difference but my friend and I have previously spoken about being godmothers to each other's children when I offered the role to her it wasn't completely out of nowhere hey everyone I don't know what to do in this situation because I never expected I'd face something like this I'm trying to stay calm and rational and examine every possibility but I'm coming up seriously short here I met my wife on tinder at the end of 2015 we talked on and off for some time before she agreed to meet me by the end of our first date we found that we had so much in common that we even agreed we should have met a lot earlier we were both into the same sport we were both into the same books and we both saw eye-to-eye on social political matters more than anything we were both against the idea of having kids I know heavy topics for a first date we were on a roll and just kept talking and before we knew it we were three to four dates ahead of the curve at the very least I held off on telling her about my vasectomy until the third her immediate reaction upon hearing about it was of an instant of shock where she couldn't believe a young guy would get one she immediately followed that by commending me for my conviction about being child free we dated and had a great time with few real arguments and eventually settled down with Abby wedding and a big house after getting married if anything our relationship has only gotten better four nights ago was the first time I ever had any serious doubts about our relationship my wife was out with a friend and I was doing some housecleaning I was throwing away a bunch of semi large garbage that can fit into bags and so I took a few things out of the kitchen garbage bag to make everything fit into two at the bottom I saw a light purple box where half of a lowercase n and enough of case B were visible I immediately recognized it for what it was and reassembling the torn pieces just confirmed it I had known that my wife was on her period because when I tried to initiate s she told me so I found it odd because her previous period had ended just a couple of weeks before and I made comment about the timing being odd she told me it's just lady stuff and it happened sometimes I figured it made enough sense and let the issue rest I haven't told her that I found the box when she got home that night everything was so normal I tried to gauge how she was feeling or if she seemed like she was trying to hide anything but couldn't find a single thing the more time this simmers inside of me the more the possibilities start springing to mind what if she was her what if she was covering for someone else by bringing the box home and disposing of it here what if she for some reason just felt pregnant randomly or what if she just cheated I only know one thing for certain unless someone broke into our house to dispose of a box of Plan B and cover it with a bunch of other trash haphazardly she was the only person other than me who could have thrown it away I don't even know how to ask her or how to bring it up we have both expressed adamantly that cheating is ridiculous because if you're just satisfied enough in a relationship to be unfaithful you should just leave I've done nothing to displease her at least that I know of maybe I'm just not evil maybe the situation is more complicated than I'm giving it credit for but I feel like a coward for being unable to bring it up four days later just because I don't know how I would like to preface this post with apology I know it has been nearly three weeks since I last posted to be honest in no world did I ever imagine people would continue to show so much interest in my situation I've been online long enough to know that a few weeks here is like an eternity in the real world not to make excuses but since my life just fell into the gutter rolled into a drainage grate took a trip through the sewer system and then got eaten by that random a giant spider from the original it I have legitimately not had the time or the heart to update you for that I'm sorry for the people who are legitimately concerned about me thank you it is encouraging to know that thousands of people are thinking about me for the people who wanted to see my situation go about as bad as possible and play out like a Greek tragedy I apologize that it is probably not nearly as interesting as you are hoping for now to start where things left off after making my original post I combed through all of the comments to find reasons as to why she might have torn up a plan-b box and thrown it into the garbage a lot of them made sense my greatest hope was that it might have just been old maybe it was before we even met clinging to that I hand wrote a flow chart of all of the roots our conversation might take I'm awful with confrontation and considered every possibility before bringing it up what I would say in response and what I would do I memorized them all on the evening after I made my original post I called her into the living room when she got home from the gym as I had practiced I asked her the following question hey I'm not accusing you of anything but could you tell me why there was a torn-up Plan B box in the garbage the second the words plan B left my mouth she immediately looked like she had been punched in the stomach she was completely lost for words I already knew at that point I retained eye contact and repeated my question why was there a torn-up Plan B box in the garbage you know I had a vasectomy she just mouthed breathed looking at me horrified then she looked to the floor then she started weakly sobbing this was not on the flowchart I had no idea how to bond I thought if I let her cry it out a bit she might give me a real answer but she just kept sobbing finally I prompted her with another question are you crying because you did something you regret she shook her head violently I was so concerned because I thought something horrendous might have happened she abruptly shrieked I'm crying because my husband doesn't even trust me I have literally never seen a person that angry let alone my wife so I prompted her again just tell me why it was there you don't have to hide anything from me she yelled at me again repeatedly if you don't trust me this marriage is hopeless duck you for not trusting me this line of questioning repeated itself until she told me to get out of the house I refused and said that until she was upfront with me about why the box was there I wasn't budging an inch she then informed me that either I had to leave or she would leave since I doubted she had anywhere to stay her parents don't live anywhere near us I agreed to go to let us cool down and have a rational conversation like adults later I went to my best friend's house the guy who was best man at my wedding and we got drunk and talked about everything but her the following night I texted her asking if she was ready to talk she was not instead she gave me an ultimatum I had to 1 apologized to promise to never bring it up again and 3 learn to trust her completely only then would she allow me back home if I couldn't do all three of the above she was done with me I have not returned home and we have now been no contact for over two weeks I'm wearing out my welcome at my best friend's house who has been nothing short of amazing I currently have a consultation with a lawyer arranged this afternoon the lawyer will probably tell me I'm an idiot for leaving the house and she will probably be right but the idea of ever stepping foot in that house again makes me sick to my stomach there is legitimately nothing my wife could say to salvage this marriage I'm entirely numb to her what she's doing who she's with or anything else even tangentially related to her none of my family members know what happened and as far as they are concerned we are still the happy new lifes I'm holding off on saying anything until I'm calm and rational and won't do something I'll regret in the future so he brought a girl over and they were in his bedroom jig ligand wart net I heard kissing noises and was alarmed went downstairs and he came down and I asked him if his girlfriend knew she was over and he said no he didn't want her to get mad I go up to my room to get something then I hear moaning and slapping from the room and feel angry I opened the door and they were having s I was so mad I started shaking I shouldn't have opened the door but I was so angry that he would shamelessly bring a girl home that wasn't his girlfriend and Ducker with someone in the house I told my mom because she was home earlier and I told her my concerns about hearing kissing from the room and being concerned now she's saying to stay out of it and that we don't know the whole story on both sides I want to tell her she deserves to know I don't want to enable cheating and see her come over and act like nothing happened she is possessive and controlling at times and my brother says he was stressed and needed to unload and won't cheat again I call nonsense I told him that there's no excuse for cheating and that they both deserve better he deserves someone who won't accuse him of cheating and she needs someone who won't cheat for all I know he has been fooling around and is giving her reasons to accuse him I'm not close to his girlfriend but she comes over a lot and I see her like a little sister I don't want to hide something like this what would you do update I talked to him and said that the relationship is crappy if he felt so stressed to the point he'd sheet there's issues said that I'd give him time to figure out what he wanted to do but if he loves her he should tell her said that I was thinking about telling her if he didn't said I would think about it and give a deadline but he did it right away she messaged my mom angry that she knew he did it my mom said she posted on Facebook that she is going crazy so my mom and I just cried while talking about it earlier this morning when she came home during her break he's with her right now we asked if we should call 9 double one as we were about to that he said that they should be ok I don't know what to think about the situation of course I don't want either of them to be hurt that I still believe honesty is the best even if it's hard they are very codependent and I feel like the longer they're together the harder it would be on them to break up if things got worse play games win prizes I wonder if what I said or did was the right thing but it's done and I can't do anything I apologized to him and said that I'm here for him even if he's upset with me that I don't think he's a bad person but made a mistake and I'm proud of him for being honest and brave I apologized for opening the door and for upsetting him I don't know if I'd react the same if it happened again I think I'm just going to tell him to deal with it himself and remind him it's bad this is too stressful and I'm happy I'm moving out soon so I don't even have to be around for this Sh anymore Wow do I have a story for you I think I'll start from the beginning ten years ago when I was 11 years old my mom decides to randomly tell my father that she's leaving him for another man literally making him pack all his things and leave my older sister will call her Jess and I alone with our mom soon after he moves in and is nice but very introvert I guess the sudden disappearance of our Father must messed my sister and I up bad because we both ended up in rehab over the next year's on different occurrences her first with a drinking problem as a teen and Mia's arrest tempt anyways my mom never cared to show any love for me so I had it worse than my siblings who she seemed to care about more it might be because I held a deep grudge for her making my dad leave us even though we still kept in touch and saw each other I was angry over the years she had my little sister Lisa and became more spiteful and toxic only caring about her interests she wouldn't buy Jessi any clothes for high school and wouldn't take us places like doctor appointments when she knew it took months to book another one she wakes everyone up by screaming at my little aughter telling her to get up for school and believe me it's not a shout it's full screaming and my sister has already developed our mom's nasty behavior okay so flash forward to this year by now she barely cooks for us complains about everything and completely neglects a still boyfriend Jerry she screams at him when he tries to talk to her literally telling him to shut up and go away and he's so nice like seriously he's put up with so much of her Sh I'm surprised he hasn't lost his mind he's even paid for to Disney World trips for her and our little sister now seven over the last two years there over the last few months he's found in on her iPad yes my sister and I have seen them too gross and got so angry about it but still didn't leave the most recent picture he's found was apparently of her V which I've thankfully not seen and went as far to shout why are you taking pics of your pee in our apartment she denied cheating of course but everyone knows she's lying now let's get to the story all month long she's been talking about getting plastic surgery because she's overweight and at first I found it very annoying it wasn't until Jessie told me that she's having Jerry pay for it that I understood why it was such a reoccurring topic jesse has had it with our mothers infidelity and plans to confront our mom before she gets the surgery and is going to tell her that if she leaves Jerry after this for another man she won't speak to her again and won't her see her granddaughter ever again I have to admit I don't love my mother anymore for so long she's never shown any love to me and never bothers to Evan have a simple conversation with me that on top of her cheating on my father I pushed aside any love for her and I'm not ashamed of that it does upset me that she still cheats it's disgusting hurtful and Eve up to use someone as much as she's used her boyfriend nothing will ever be good enough for her and I'm sick of her entitlement my sister and I plan to move into our own apartment by the end of the year and I can't wait to be done with her mom and pops were married for 30 years I'm 26 always thought they were a dream couple until five years ago when I found out that my dad had fathered a child from an affair that he had in 2006 my mum went crazy when she found out I honestly believe her mental health cracked and deteriorated from then and she divorced my dad and moved to the other side of the u.s. essentially I lost my mom to my dad's idiocy she is not the same woman as she used to be my dad had always been in this girl's life but over the past five years I guess because he had no one to keep it a secret from he's more or less a full-time dad to her since the divorce I've kept my distance from him I'm just trying to secure my bag live quietly and stay away from drama he has lately started up this crusade of me meeting this girl and developing a brotherly bond with her I told him it's just not on the cards I have no interest in picking up a relationship with anybody and I have my own hatred for my father's new family and ID see what anyone says therapy ain't fixing that believe me I've tried it's better for my mental health if I continue to do my thing and not involve myself it's got to a point where everyone on my paternal side is bugging me for some sort of Christmas miracle meet earth apparently this girl wants to know me very much and is begging that she gets to meet me as a Christmas present I've consistently told everybody back quote now and I'm also not celebrating Christmas with them in case they try for Santa thing the only person on my side in all this is my fiance who is the only one who gives a sh about what hurt this might cause me instead of anything else just wondering if I'm there for shutting everybody down over this

Channel: R Girl

Views: 83,781

Rating: 4.8422275 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, reddit girl, reddit pregnant, reddit pregnancy, I'm pregnant with my best friend's boyfriend's baby, reddit baby, reddit relationship, reddit marriage, reddit friends, askreddit girl, askreddit, askreddit pregnant, askreddit pregnancy, r/ girl, r/ pregnant, r/ pregnancy, best videos of r/, top posts of all time

Id: TCyL12GvDfQ

Length: 19min 33sec (1173 seconds)

Published: Mon Feb 17 2020