Mother in law wants to wear my engagement ring

[Music] a few of you guys requested some back stories about piercing patiak apart rasha after my last odyssey on her journey to nc this is hilarious for two reasons one you know there definitely existed beck and two you knew it would be good enough to retell someone recently made a post about a class ring on here and it reminded me of my engagement ring pissing contest with pages this isn't a full meal llamas but that's okay because it's bikini season and all we need is a light snack and a cold sangria hm immediately following my law school graduation dh then bf took me on a long weekend jet away i'm serious about the immediately part i basically walked across that stage took some pictures with my family we met at local restaurant for a meal and some champagne and i left for the trip still wearing the most expensive outfit i own my graduation gown oh god the student loans we couldn't go anywhere far because i needed to begin preparing for the bar exam the very next monday so a weekend was all i could spare to celebrate dh drove us to a sleepy coastal town and we stayed at one of those bnbs that have seashell soaps in the bathroom we spent the entire weekend sleeping in and letting the warmth of the sun wake us having late night diners in dim restaurants over good wine and hushed whispers and inevitably arguing whether the seashell soaps were for decoration or utility it was one of the most romantic trips of my life on saturday night after we had one of the funniest seafood meals of our lives two drunk kids with plastic bibs and crab mallets we took a walk along the beach to relax a little more before driving back the next day the sun was just setting and the breeze was perfect and i guess dh couldn't wait any longer so he popped the question except he wasn't planning on proposing at least not this weekend it was always an eventually situation for us but i didn't really pressure him and we always had the whole show when we finished school mentality but the weekend was just too perfect and uh i literally just finished school so it was kind of cute he wouldn't wait a moment longer now being is how it was so spontaneous he didn't have a ring for me he just slipped off his class ring and proposed with it i was so happy you guys not because i get to marry the love of my life but because dh ordered his class ring a few sizes too small and wore it on his pinky and i always thought i made him look like a 1970s pimp hahaha him giving me his ring took care of the fashion forks pars and it had the added bonus of me being engaged we called our parents got the appropriate reactions minus pages wanting to come see us right away and kind of forgot that we were engaged because i was studying for the bar once i was done with that horrid exam i felt giddy that whole blushing bride thing hit me like a ton of bricks i was nearing 30 when i finished law school there was no reason for me to be giggling that much finally i wasn't such a mean bookworm anymore and that meant that pages could visit us because from the moment we told her we were engaged she was begging to come visit us so we could all celebrate together so pages comes to town and without any polite small talk asks to see the ring i flash it quickly because i know this ain't my real engagement ring so i try not show it off too much knowing that it will confuse people when i get my actual ring the class ring was just a spur of the moment ring and what pages didn't know is that after we got back from the trip dh took me to a jeweler to pick out what i wanted turns out i didn't want any of them and in my high maintenance glory i got to pick out my own stone and design my own setting oh boy was i glad he didn't plan his proposal making my ring was so fun but it would take months to complete i still plan to wear the h's class ring around a necklace though it was so sentimental to me but this be ducking pages so we are on our way home from the airport and stop for lunch pages asks to see the ring again and i show her thinking that she's just excited her son's getting married but no she asks to try it on i'm like uh maybe later i'm only human my spine had to grow one panned leg at a time during her week with us she kept asking and asking if i was doing the dishes she would say oh you don't want to scratch that beautiful ring take it off and i'll wear it so you don't lose it i promise i'll give it back and then she did this laughing that's not exactly a giggle and not exactly a cackle either she gaggled i was so weirded out i wasn't even annoyed it was just strange i knew we were playing a game but i didn't know what the rules were i mean you guys know what a class ring looks like don't you especially a men's one nothing like an engagement ring it's very masculine the abandoned mount usually has engraving or stamp of the graduation year the stone set into it is usually a dark-colored semi-precious one it was a cool looking ring but not something i'd consider bridal so the only explanation i could muster was she wanted to wear it because it came from her son oh why you again do you want to be engaged to your son paige's bath so a week i had to guard my ring like it was my bricks yellow horse i honestly didn't even take it off when i slept because i wasn't sure she wasn't going to sneak into our bedroom and slip it on to spite me i know it sounds paranoid but pages would not let up with her insistence that she be able to try the class ring on i felt like i was at guantanamo she was asking me about it so relentlessly but as you all know if you play [ __ ] games you will win [ __ ] prizes toward the end of her stay at hotel d mother in pause my jeweller called and myring was finally ready yay i had been waiting for what felt like an eti eternity so we tell pages we needed to run an errand real quick and to watch some netflix while we are gone i deliberately left the ring on my nightstand knowing that i just chummed shark-infested waters we pick up myring and it is perfect a tasteful 1.5 carat oval set in a rose gold paved double band and with two little birth stones mine and his set on the inside the ring really felt like mine and no one else is due to the fact that i got to design it and the little birthstone secret we put in so we got home and paiges is on our couch watching tv she turns to us and waves hello i'm entering my own home why would you wave to me ah yes to bring attention to the fact that you are wearing the class ring now keep in mind she didn't know we were going to pick up my engagement ring she didn't even know we had another one made because dh doesn't think to talk about stuff like that with his mother and i felt petty or weak so i waltzed right over to her grab the hand she is wearing the ring on a left hand btw second bath with my right hand take an amused look at the ring you ladies know the one the one where you lightly grab your friends fingers when they show you their new ring she's looking kind smug now thinking she's under my skin she is holding eye contact with me like [ __ ] what's your next move so as i'm holding her left hand with my right i drag my left hand down her forearm until she hears a clink clink clink it was the sound of metal on metal she looks down and bam i'm wearing a brand new diamond her son paid for it just came from the jeweller too so this thing is refractive half mother in paul's hasn't had the opportunity to get any cheeto powder into the crevices yet baby her eyes widen and this is the moment she knew i was a formidable enemy i smiled and said that ring looks gorgeous on you why don't you keep it it's worth almost nothing anyway ha what's th gonna do be mad at me for giving his mother a free ring i came out smelling like roses thank you goodbye pages by the way she left the ring on my dresser when she left it was never about the ring i got engaged to her son and she wanted to assert her dominance in his life she didn't anticipate that i had seen tina fey's mean girls like 17 times and cannot regina her any day i still wear the class ring on a necklace sometimes but i will not let the h have it back because when it puts it on his pinky he develops a fake italian accent and tries to emulate godfather style gangsters [Music] the witch flew back to southern state on her broom when i was six bad things happened to me at the hands of someone i had been told i could trust part of the aftermath of that situation was lots of therapy and an introduction to a strange and wonderful thing called bodily autonomy i was told that i even as a child could tell other people that i did not want them to touch me if anyone touched me without my consent it was okay for me to tell them no and it was okay for me to be as loud and emphatic about this as it took for them to get the message i could even push them away if they persisted adults might be upset if i said no but that was not my problem because adults are expected to control their emotions and actions at first the only people i would allow to touch me at all were my mother my maternal grandmother and my aunt mom's sister it took a while but eventually i was able to expand the list family members who received my permission were aware of the implications of my trust and treated it as a serious privilege people who were allowed to touch me at the time of this story mom grandmother aunt brother grandfather people who were not allowed to touch me at the time of this story every [ __ ] body else on planet earth this is relevant now there's a substantial age gap between me and my brother about 14 years i was quite a surprise at the time of this story i was about eight years old i was a small kid even now i'm under five and a half feet tall i was a major tomboy and my mom kept my hair trimmed into a shoulder-length bob because i was terrible at taking care of it my brother had been dating a girl for a couple of years and they decided that they liked each other well enough to get married his mother-in-law to be was interesting very very touchy feely huggy woggy smoochy wuchi why won't you get the ever loving [ __ ] out of my goddamned [ __ ] personal space why thus the nickname of huggy holly upon seeing pictures of me she squealed that i was just the cutest thing she'd ever seen and she couldn't wait to meet me and give me a big hug and pinch my cute round cheeks and ruffle my wetty hair and kiss my widdle rosebud mouth my brother told her no no don't hug my sister don't pinch her cheeks don't ruffle her hair don't kiss her don't touch her at all don't even ask to touch her if she offers you a hug that's one thing but do not under any circumstances touch her without her express permission huggy holly could not wrap her head around the idea that a child could tell an adult not to touch them and expect to have their wishes he did my brothers mentioned that he must have tried to explain it to her a dozen times she just could not or would not understand during the course of wedding planning there was a fair amount of communication between my family and my brother's future-in-laws i was brought up as a topic on several occasions and every single time my mother reiterated my brother's warnings huggy holly would always say yes i remember but and as we all know here but is shorthand for watch how fast i invalidate what i just said in this case the butt was always followed by weirdly rapturous comments about how adorable and knowling i was and so on moreover she seemed to have unclear ideas of how this in-law thing works because she kept talking about how much she was looking forward to getting another dylan little daughter that she could spoil with fancy tea parties and dress up in pretty princess outfits like she'd done with her own daughters my mother must have so much fun dressing me up like a little doll i remember my mom laughing until tears came into her eyes during a few of these phone calls because she knew exactly what kind of semi-feral wolf child she'd raised and no matter how much she tried to gently explain this to my brother's fmil the information never ever sank in this woman believed with the holy fire of a fanatic that i was some kind of living breathing precious moments figurine she'd be rabbiting on about this kuchiko [ __ ] while my mom was gazing out the back door watching me roam the backyard eating live ants and mud while building elaborate stages for the deadly battles of my thundercats and demon figures out of sticks grass rocks and whatever mud i didn't eat when i could be induced to hold still long enough to be cleansed of accumulated filth and clothed in strange human garments i was reasonably cute aside from my well-developed resting [ __ ] face but i constantly longed to fling off the constraints of civilization and go roll around in the dirt and play with the main geast stray animals that a major urban area could produce i once tried to convince my mother that a huge evil-eyed seweran was top flight pet material and had bonded with me and i should totally be allowed to keep it she disagreed the rat was returned to its natural habitat and went back to catching and eating pigeons in the alley behind our house but i have seriously digressed the day of the wedding rolled around because i loved my big brother and had opted to gracefully tolerate his chosen spouse until such time as i developed actual liking for her i cooperated with the efforts of my mother and grandmother to make me look presentable i was wearing my very best outfit which was a frilly pale blue dress trimmed with white lace and yes it made me look adorable we disembarked from the car and went into the church to mill around in the pre-ceremony confusion suddenly out of the crowd this strange woman in a series sat in dress which emphasized a bust that needed no extra emphasis and a hairdo like an explosion in the blunt factory came swooping at me with her arms flung wide emitting a sort of tea kettle noise i backstepped fast and said no loudly and clearly but on she came her fuchsia lips scrunching into a kiss pout that resembled a hematoid pillow burping out something about the sweet little princess my entire assembled family brother mother aunt grandmother grandfather one uncle and his wife all shouted don't at the same time it was probably the most organized as a group they've ever been my family is mostly irish which means we mostly fight with each other except for my czechoslovakian grandfather who always watch the fights from a peaceful safe distance my uncle the person physically closest to the brewing disaster tried to intervene but the weird lady was moving like she'd been fired out of a ballista made of bad decisions and frankly that particular uncle isn't a fast mover even when not faced with a high-speed idiot secure in my knowledge of bodily autonomy and armored with the assurance that defending myself from unwanted contact was the right thing to do i was prepared to act so as huggy holly stooped upon me like a haast seagull upon a mower single-mindedly focused on hugging the child she'd been repeatedly told by several different people not to hug i took action squared up planted my feet and hold both fists back at shoulder level don't touch me i screamed at the very top of my lungs and double punched my brother's imminent mother-in-law squarely in the tits anyone who has ever been punched in the tits knows that this is not a fun experience possessing a balcony that one could do shakespeare off of huggy holly had a fair bit of upholstering but her momentum combined with the small contact patch of my eight-year-old fists concentrating the force resulted in a not insignificant impact she reeled backwards arms flailing kermit fashion and my uncle just barely missed so he claims i suspect intentional action but that's fine by me catching her as she toppled onto her b satin ass incidentally crushing the gigantic stupid frilly bow on the back of her dress having defended myself adequately i shot into the cluster of my family members and hid behind my grandfather the short cheerful smiling gentle old man whose heirlooms included a wwi lugger that he acquired from a german officer who didn't need that anymore in nazi occupied czechoslovakia you may draw your own conclusions my uncle who honestly looked as if he'd rather kick the woman helped huggy holly back to her feet while she began to gasp and sob clutching at her bosom why did she do that she demanded my mother calmly said we did warn you not to touch her several times huggy holly wailed but she's so small and prati you know dynamite comes in small decorative looking packages too my grandmother remarked then turned to my brother okay where are we sitting that was literally the first time i saw this woman she did not improve with further [Music] exposure [Music] [Music] you

Channel: Ask Girl

Views: 40,758

Rating: 4.8943534 out of 5

Keywords: reddit mil, reddit mother in law, reddit wedding, reddit girl, reddit, reddit marriage, mother in law, crazy mother in law, r/ mil, r/ girl, r/ wedding, r/ pregnancy, r/, r/askreddit, askreddit, askreddit mil, mil, askreddit pregnant, askreddit girl, justnomil, r/justnomil

Id: 5VpM0V47r98

Length: 18min 41sec (1121 seconds)

Published: Sat Oct 17 2020