Mom Must Never Know About This! | Parents Stories #19

what is one secret your parents can never know i was brought up in a pretty religious home my family had me in theater choir youth group and all kinds of other extracurricular activities to keep me out of trouble so they trusted me pretty well one night i was about 15 my boyfriend at the time had come over to watch movies the stipulation was that we could lay in the bed and watch the movie but the door had to be open after a while my mom came in to check on us and everything was fine so she thanked my boyfriend for being a gentleman and shut the door on her way out immediately as if the door shut had triggered some teenage hormone overload we started making out and fooling around he slid his hand up my shirt for a bit but finally having some privacy i soon directed his hand to my nother bits yay first not self-stimulated orgasm we never got caught which was considered a major triumph and we found ways after that to hook up without my parents knowing it wasn't until a few months later at my youth's purity ball yes we signed pledges and war rings to signify our abstinence for god and marriage that my dad delivered this humiliating speech he told the congregation and he was proud of the strong lady i had become that regardless of having a boyfriend i stood up to teen peer pressure and hormones and that he witnessed me deflect an attempted immoral behavior while watching movies with my boyfriend one night apparently the blinds had been open and my bed faced them from in the house he happened to be walking in from the garage and caught a peek at me removing my boyfriend's hand from my boob i was mortified the secret he must never know the night i got my first orgasm he thought i deflected my boyfriend from touching my boobs when in reality i was actually directing him much much further south tldr dad thought i was sitting on the bench for god when i was really rounding second with david tldr is a 10 stroke 10. replaced bourbon from a priceless bottle of liquor with evan williams when i was 15 i found out later my parents were saving the bottle for their 50th anniversary it was given to them by my great grandpa at their wedding still have 23 years to break the news you have the internet and 23 years to find a replacement put together a bang but collection of rare bourbon and an eloquent apology speech after my sis died i locked myself in her room and went through everything alone before her friends or my parents went through her stuff to pack it away or give it to her friends i found naked pics empty bottles of alcohol and a letter she had wrote that i guess never gave to her then boyfriend telling him the story of how she was raped as a younger teenager i threw everything like that out but kept that letter it's been 12 years and i just found the letter again as i was packing up to make room for baby i can't bring myself to throw it away this happened in my freshman year of high school so one of my friends got a hold of some weed and i haven't tried it before so we had the stupid idea to smoke it he came over along with some other friends of mine the original plan was to go to forest near my house to smoke it but it was cold so we didn't want to one of us wanted to smoke it on my porch but i disagreed i forgot how but we came up with the stupidest idea and hot box in my bathroom keep in mind my parents were gonna be home from work in an hour and if they found out my life would be done we quickly made a crappy bong out of a gatorade bottle then removed everything from my bathroom we lit up the weed and smoked for like 10 minutes once we were done we quickly cleaned up and emptied a whole axe bottle in the bathroom my friends being stoned as frick left i went back upstairs to check the bathroom and it smelled like flat out weed i tried to use every possible thing to get the smell out but it didn't work i called my parents they have the same job and they said they were 15 minutes away i knew i was freaked now keep in mind my parents are extremely strict and if they caught me i would be over this is when i thought of the stupidest thing any sane human would think burn my bathroom down i ended up lighting some towels on fire and trying my hardest to burn the sink area it ended up catching on fire but it was slow i quickly called 9-1-1 and three minutes later fire department i see fire trucks out my house they took care of the fire and my parents came home shocked half of my bathroom was charred and the door knocked down fire department said it was probably an electrical current from the outlet that burned a towel i slept that night thinking how stupid i was and what i just did to this day my parents don't know tl dr hot boxed in my bathroom and set fire to it to get the smell out and prevent from being caught parents still think it was an accident in my opinion this is why it's bad to be overly strict kids are gonna do dumb crap and if you're extremely strict they are just going to go to greater lengths to cover it up when you guys went to hawaii i put milo cat down he was sick in incredible pain couldn't eat or drink couldn't even move to get to the later box when you left on vacation he was too weak to even yell in pain anymore i couldn't stand to see that cat in so much pain and so afraid so i did the only thing i could do to help him end his life humanely my parents were 100 against putting down a pet regardless of how much it is suffering so they'd be beyond mad if they knew this putting a pet to sleep is never easy but you absolutely did the right thing milo was probably thanking you for it one time i dropped an entire roll of toilet paper into the bowl when trying to change it i didn't want them to know i ruined an entire roll so i hid it in my closet and over a course of a few weeks i would rip away pieces and throw them away you went to an extreme length to get away with that so when i was six or seven we had christmas with the extended family one of my uncles was there and i was always a bit afraid of him because he had done some time for a drug charge and just gotten out within the last year or two anyway i walk into the kitchen at one point and he is there with this giant wedge of cheese he looks up and asks if i wanted any i nod because i freaking love cheese he says okay but you cannot tell your parents because you'll ruin your dinner they will get mad at me and he slices me a few pieces we eat in silence and then i leave convinced that i was an accomplice in some terrible act with my ex-con uncle to this day i have never told my parents as to what would happen if they found out well then they would know that the reason i didn't eat that one christmas dinner in the early 90s was because i had already filled up on expensive cheese my sister and i were reading through my mom's old high school yearbook and we kept seeing everyone signed saying something along the lines of congrats you and x are perfect together x is not our dad and we had never heard x's name mentioned before after a little more digging we found out she had married x right out of high school divorced then married our father neither of us really cared but it was still a huge shock she hasn't told us now that we're both in our mid-20s well i would say you dodge a bullet there cause now x likes to mess around with married woman my dad always tells me i was so whipped by my girlfriend back in high school and the example he always uses is that one time she told me to change out of my sweatshirt what really happened is that she pointed out the huge cm stain that she left on my sweatshirt the night before and i figured i should change it to avoid awkwardness on our day out with my family i jacked my ex off once in the backseat of my mom's car while she was driving he came on one of my sweatshirts and the next day at school i see my mom wearing it she was a substitute huge cm stain on the back of it didn't know what to do my dad thinks i lost my vaginity earlier than i actually did he thought he'd walked in on me post-sex with my gf at the time but we'd actually just been play fighting and the moment he walked in was the moment she decided to put the strap for her top back on her shoulder after that i find out my dad's told half of my family about this and despite me trying to tell him i hadn't done anything he claimed to have believed me but didn't so he'll never know when i actually did because he believes a lie when i was eight me and my sister cracked my dad's chess board we hid the pieces in someone else's trash can my dad has had it since he was 11 he was 46 at the time and he was fuming mad he thought he lost it and he still does when i got engaged my very catholic mother whispered to me has he tried to kiss you yet i'm a semi-famous dominatrix and have been since three years before she asked that question that one of my childhood friends and i used to play with each other's penises it was fun and we liked it i'm a married straight guy but this information would shorten their lifespan undoubtedly when i was younger i read in my mom's journal that she had an abortion before she was pregnant with me she doesn't know that i know and i'm not sure how she would react i'm just glad they decided to keep the second pregnancy yeah accidentally found out my mom had a miscarriage those things just on dinner table conversation i'm pretty sure the statute of limitations are up on this one so why not i was a junior in high school and had some friends into lan parties who were seniors but i couldn't really join them because my family was pretty poor and neither them or i could afford the computer for me to use at that time so one day my older friends gave me one of their older pcs pentium 3 with a couple parts missing ram hdd that i could build out for myself but now about 15 years later it's turned out to be a great jumping off point because now i'm a successful system administrator and love working in the it field and i owe it in many ways to that first computer i learned to build back up from scratch and make my own only they didn't give me that computer we stole it from the high school sorry not sorry i had a laptop that i received as a gift from my uncle and it was already five years old when i got it and it had no working battery the laptops at school had identical batteries needless to say one of the school laptops lost a battery that day i totaled my first car when i was 16. they knew about that they came to pick me up and talk to the police officer while i was moving things from my car to theirs what they didn't know about was the litre of vodka in my trunk which i quickly and quietly speed walk to my parents trunk neither the cop nor my parent knew a thing i very nearly shat my pants disclaimer i did not drink and drive the trunk was just the only place my parents never checked and i happened to be a rowdy teenager i was molested as a child by a babysitter 10 years older than i my parents were trying to help her out because she was having issues in her abusive home her father was tossed in jail this went on from what i can remember for at least two years i was four or five years old i didn't tell anyone until i stated dating at 14 my parents do not know because a they were trying to help her and i felt sorry for her i realize that her hurting me voids this but for a preschooler's mind it didn't work that way b by the time i felt i could say something so much time had passed that all i could see happening was me hurting my parents making them blame themselves why do that i see this person from time to time in passing at the supermarket we have mutual acquaintances people bring her up that bothers me i don't care what is happening in her life i think she was going though some fricked up crap and passed it on i feel sorry for her when i see her i look her in the eye and stand strong almost to say you know what you did and i am not broken because of it when i was in elementary school i was at target with my mom and sister at the checkout counter i saw these cinnamon flavored tic tacs and i had to have them because i hadn't fully developed the whole want need function in my brain i knew my mom wouldn't buy them for me so i grabbed them sneakily and put them in my pocket sneakily i felt pretty guilty the whole way home and didn't make eye contact with anyone in case they could read my mind as soon as i was inside the safety of my home i made my way upstairs sneakily and opened my hot goods they were awful easily my least favorite tic tac i ended up throwing them in the garbage can outside sneakily to avoid any suspicion this is my shame and i carry it alone except now with theoretically thousands of people tldr the only time i ever stole anything the fruits of my victory turned rotten in my mouth the police are on their way targets don't forgive targets don't forget throwaway cuz ain't no way they can find out about this crap when i was about 10 i discovered the ability to jerk in my gherkin oh those were great times tugging in the shower i soon after discovered the vast word of the internet and its dark places one day i decided to start going at it in my room well it was about time to finish up and had nowhere to shoot so i splurged on the floor and rubbed it in no big deal right our carpet was an off-white so when i rubbed it in it would just disappear i did this for 10 years people i had no idea just smelled i guess neither did my parents one day they started to notice the stench they chalked it up to my dog always laying in my room and my friends having stank butt feet as did i one day i got curious after learning jizz glows under black light borrowed my brother's black light went to my room closed the door flipped the switch and holy crap the carpets in my room was brighter than the morning sun i nope the frick out over there with that black light and buried that memory to this day four years later my gf starts going on and on about how just smells like dirty wet dog and feet after it's dry and it clicks my room stank objects for years that's a dirty secret i'll take to the grave tl dr my room was a literal jizz palace i signed a lease for an apartment in florida before i came back home from my internship down at disney i came back home and never went back down i paid for it for a year my roommates wouldn't let me have someone sublease it was a horrible situation and i fricked up i don't need to hear it from my parents on how stupid and young i was or when i was about 11 or 12 i was going through my pyromaniac stage one saturday i decided i would grab a steel can and fill it with gasoline and head to the woods now this wasn't just your typical alkene of spaghettios this was a one gallon bulk sized can filled to the brim i took it to the woods and decided it would be cool just to light it on fire and see what would happen i lit it into court like i expected and kept burning inside the can after about 15 minutes i got bored and went to try and put it out in the process i knocked the can over spreading gasoline all over the forest floor and it erupted in a bowl of flame i quickly ran back to my house to get water and i come running back with about five gallons by this point the fire had spread tremendously and my efforts were useless i decided my best bet would be to run inside and play video games luckily this spot in the woods was pretty good ways away from my parents house so it didn't draw my parents attention immediately after about an hour or so the entire fire department is on scene battling the three four acres of forest fire that is roaring there was a road that runs behind my house and the fire basically engulfed all of the forest separating my parents house and this road this road is notorious for drug dealers and m houses while the firefighters are trying to battle the flames it is discovered that the house closest to the fire is a rather large cookhouse and cops show up and a huge bust goes down naturally the fire was blamed on them and my parents just accepted that it is now 20 years later and my parents still do not know nor will they ever know tl dr set fire to 3 4 acres of woods m house got blamed parents will never know funny to think how your action probably influenced the life of these drug dealers there well they might have gotten caught eventually anyway but imagine if they ever found out this is why they got busted i spent the night in jail for possession of marijuana five years ago not a big deal really but it would kill my mom if she found out i have been in a jail cell huh when i told my mom i had been put in a holding cell not overnight just until someone came to pick me up after i'd been busted with pot she said it was a shame i didn't spend the night in jail she said it would have taught me a lesson that i was the one that blew up the toilet to this day my stepdad thinks someone broke into my house smashed the toilet and left bulls there is no way an adult would actually believe that there is a toilet smasher running around committing breaking and entering just to smash a toilet when we were staying at a friend's place on holiday my so and i accidentally broke a guest bed like one of the legs gave way and the whole thing collapsed it was an ultra cheap metal frame and so found a meat cleaver and we banged the bejesus out of that bed to get it back into shape to no avail i had to ring my friend and confess due to the conservative nature of my parents and their firm beliefs we have allowed them to believe that we are chaste and good and would never actually have sex you were gross we haven't lied but we have certainly been guilty of a mission we are getting married this year and my friend with the broken bed is a brights maid and is working on her speech we banged the bejesus out of that bed yeah you did my sister step brother and i are all adults now ranging from mid-20s to early 30s i was the oldest so i had already moved out by the time my sister was a teenager we were all out to dinner with our parents recently exchanging funny stories back and forth then this came up step brother to my sister i guess we're all old enough for this story now so remember how you would call me to see if our parents were awake yet sister we are not old enough for that story that's where it ended but i assume my sister was sneaking out at night and calling my step-brother in the morning to see if it was safe to sneak back in and despite being in her late 20s now still doesn't want my parents to know about it i was sure you were going to say they were sleeping with each other i'm not that close to my parents but as an adult i'm a lot mellower and recognize the fact that they're nice people who did their best so there's nothing that would be catastrophic for me if they found it out but i'd be a little glum about the unnecessary trauma it had put them through if they ever found out how many people i've slept with how many of them were dudes or the sheer quantity of drugs i did at one point your story is my story friend that party i threw in high school when you guys were out of town for the weekend that you found out about you to my snitch boss neighbors wasn't just some guys drinking beer and playing poker it was actually an ecstasy fueled orgy and yes your bed was used my mom read through my facebook messages and found out that i had sex with three people she called me a s for years after she never needs to know what that number actually is mine similar my mom walked in on me and a friend i didn't have a boyfriend at the time this was just a very close fwb cuddling after sex once i was 19 and she called me a s for a really long time after and like would send me letters and emails basically just to call me a s santa is real nobody tell them please it would break their hearts and someday they'll figure it out on their own anyway all the drugs i've tried or rather how many times i've tried them they know i tried some crap and i know they tried some crap but i'd like to keep it vague why cause my mom is always worried about me and she can't help it that i'm planning on eloping in disney in just a few months my fiance and i don't want to deal with the stress of a big wedding or my family my freshman year of college my parents got notified that i had been essentially issued a slap on the wrist for drinking they don't know that it was because i had just woke up from a sorority house flower bed i think and was walking the opposite way from my dorm at 3am and jords boots and a mullet wig with a texas flag cape frat so hard if you are new to the channel you can subscribe i publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] bye for now

Channel: Updoot Studios

Views: 44,064

Rating: 4.9322534 out of 5

Keywords: parents, parenting, parenting tips, parenting hacks, parenting styles, secrets, family secrets, #updootst, updoot, updoot reddit, updoot everything, reddit on tap, toadfilms, pewdiepie, reddit, askreddit, funny reddit, reddit stories, top posts, reddit top posts, reddit cringe, comedy, reddit compilation, /r, r/, r/askreddit, top posts of r/, askreddit reading, best reddit posts, top posts of all time, people of reddit, askreddit question, ask reddit, subreddit, sub, reddit stories 2021

Id: OBMReAC7Y6E

Length: 22min 1sec (1321 seconds)

Published: Wed Apr 28 2021