Mark Normand Thinks You're Cute | TigerBelly 295

then i went to miami nice fun fun fun now salt lake and now here and then tacoma tacoma what's the club called there tacoma comedy club yeah yeah yeah i used to play um the bellevue one with parlor oh yeah yeah that was nice that was too nice yeah almost too nice right yeah you played that one yeah yeah yeah yeah they closed down but yeah they did and then that guy reuben who do you remember reuben yeah he was like this brown kind of flamboyant right he was filipino right yeah but he he was like he was like no i like [ __ ] it was just like strong you don't you do you absolutely don't like it it's okay i love it you know when you hear like one of those like outwardly he's just filipino that's yeah that's literally like that's right man he's just me he's just filipino you're not gay no i love [ __ ] um so he was like one of those guys and then uh we've had some bad times there in bellevue oh we sure have oh yeah we were watching this movie there oh god i had to bring this up again but we're watching this movie there and some so you know when we watch scary movie like when you watch a scary movie right in in a theater you ever watch a scary movie in the theater sure do you ever scream you're a man because you're a man i don't know it's just yeah i don't let it out yeah i do i'm a vocal kind of a guy how do you keep it in yeah like how do you express fear or being like i don't i try not to express anything when you are quiet oh yeah will you close your mouth well i just this voice is not conducive yeah getting a vagina wet like if you were ha if you had to say something what would you say ah god come on yeah take it you would like it [ __ ] yeah yeah yeah my girl likes a real real insult oh she likes insults yeah but then if i do it in the kitchen she hates it oh right right it's weird it's weird yeah so anyway we were in the theater and i screamed we're watching this movie hereditary do you see it oh no too scared what i saw mid-summer oh yeah same same guy yeah so i couldn't watch the other one oh wow well you should see it's very good it's too heavy man that stuff bugs me i don't want to be scared you watch three amigos yeah yeah i like three amigos okay yeah all right yeah yeah i screamed and then the lady and the couple in front of us goes can you keep it down you know what i mean if you're going to scream like that watch it at home what's your place at home watch it at home and i'm like this is part of it yeah and we we almost got a fist fight afterwards we waited until the they knew that we were sitting in back of them and the movie ended and the credits rolled down and everyone left the theater except us four right so her and i just sat there and we stared stared at the back of their heads and as soon as the lights came out oh my god he turned around and like [ __ ] what yeah but then we went he drew first blood which is a mistake art of war yeah well he did or you did oh they cussed us out we're angry well they just don't don't make a [ __ ] angry yeah yeah you know that old saying sure they'll proverb that you get from the portuguese i know shane gillis man yeah yeah so um let's start then [Music] hello um hello welcome to another episode of tiger belly um i'm your slept king i'm the host i'm the i'm not the king am i the king you are i think yeah yeah and this is the queen and this is the court gesture chester yeah is that how you say gesture jester gestures yeah gesture is an act oh okay well then i'm you corrected me again and i'm wrong i'm the immigrant i'm the refugee all right you should be foreign okay right here we have the uh you know every kingdom has one of the was the hatchet man the guy that does the executioner the executioner right who killed ned stark yeah yeah exactly thank you so much for that reference yeah um we've got uh his cousin east coast ron jeremy we got east coast with jeremy this guy's got a bigger dick and more [ __ ] which is weird uh no felonies though yeah no felonies a lot a lot of come on rod fellaini isn't it wow he's a stand-up he's like oh play on words and i enjoy it so we've got um you know white guys let me talk about white guys white comics [Applause] yeah yeah so yeah it's so hard like when i started doing stand-up in the 90s and it was as an asian guy in la or you know what originally san diego it was very difficult i felt like because i was the only one that looked like me people it just it didn't feel like i could be a part of it right i also knew that i wasn't the right color yet yeah yeah you sammy sosa yourself yeah i wasn't the right color yet ah yeah i mean and um because i had an agent tell me when i first moved to la i can't rep you because you're never gonna work he literally said that i could say his name i'm not going to because he's still in the business but um i want to call him out but i'm not gonna um but he was with icm all right let's move on and so um but then it's like now you know cancer culture things have changed you know i mean you know immigrants are being put in the front kind of right i'm getting more work now which is cool but um so i find what you're not an immigrant by the way where are you you're just korean american i know you didn't come here on a vessel can i i just want to be with you okay you want to be an immigrant with me i i'm just saying you know okay go ahead you don't have to call that out that's okay you're right you can be an immigrant if you want all right so and as us immigrants you know what i mean we struggled so hard to get here um anyway so when a white guy you know to create a name as a white comic male especially is so [ __ ] difficult like i would like maybe 30 years ago i would love to i would love to been a jewish guy or a white guy in comedy but it's just so hard so when a white guy makes a name for himself right in this climate they're extra good they know they really i'm not i'm not i'm not blowing steam up this guy's ass right i'm just stating a fact around jeremy from east coast okay lots to come so what i'm saying is is that when i see you know a white dude make a name for himself in this climate they're just there's just something extra about them and it's a little if they're um resilient right and they they cross you know i mean certain borders and whatnot and people identify with it and it's very difficult and this is one of them this guy um i never you know because he lives in new york we never crossed paths i think i i i said hide him once but he maybe ignored me but but um it's fine it sounds like him it sounds like him but um we've never really crossed paths but i've been a fan from afar you know he's a very funny stand-up and um he's doing very well for himself and um he's done all the late night shows you know podcasts done all of them he's um he's great and his name is mark norman give him a round of applause finally somebody talk about how hard the white man's got it yeah thank you wow that was very nice and weird and i can't take a compliment but i appreciate why why can't you take a compliment well i don't trust asians but no no it's weird thank you it means a lot yeah yeah thanks thank you but you have to admit though that it is you but you know you know that the culture is changing sure and so i'm not really supposed to say it but i know you're not supposed to say i'm just gonna tell you it well we talk about it at the meetings oh right the white meetings that you have yeah yeah who's at those white meetings the rallies you know it's uh are there other comments there yeah it's me owen benjamin and a couple other guys no yeah yeah yeah do you ever run into owen no i don't know i don't know i don't really know him but mark you have to admit though you you're doing well it's going well finally like i'm selling tickets well you know the game has changed i've done 13 late nights and all this [ __ ] nobody cares wow you do three podcasts and people like hey who's this guy that's that's how it goes now and this this opt what is this this uh little ck screen here just in case it's nice yeah this is optics it's it's it's garage got it um yeah the late night show i mean i even back in the day when i did it i did the tonight show a long time ago in 2000 or whatever the leno leno yeah no one one person at a coffee shop said weren't you on she goes weren't you on jay leno doing stand up i go yeah and she goes okay i mean like nothing so it was like that's all i got yeah it's like that hedberg joke where you'd say more people saw me at the store you know yeah nobody sees it but you know what it does do though it it i think it validates you as a stand-up i guess so it's for you it's like a resume thing right but it's also in in the club atmosphere too you have to admit that like maybe you don't have to admit you don't have to do it do whatever you want to do but um what i'm saying it's america yeah and you guys are still in charge [Laughter] you know you you know when i before i did the tonight show um i was just to stand up doing the clubs but then it kind of elevated me you know i mean within the club right i got better spots really yeah and people looked at me in a different way i guess in terms of comedy you know my peers you know and it also helps with your self-esteem don't you think yeah it helps and you get to throw a suit on and it's a big deal yeah lights and adults there you know yeah feels good and you get paid and you gotta work out the set and it's on tv and you get to tell your mom so that part's nice yeah but it doesn't move the needle yeah it doesn't no it doesn't but um do you get nervous before oh i get nervous for everything yeah oh yeah yeah everything makes me nervous but that's good you want to get a little jolt going you know yeah yeah yeah always uh and nicole smith you know you just one level zoned out that's not healthy yeah that's true yeah i do love the feeling of being super nervous yeah right you're alive right but then also can i even do you know hopefully i don't mess up hopefully i don't mess up you know me my jokes or whatnot and then afterwards yeah what a feeling it'll be real it comes off of you that wait yeah great it's great you earned something you did something i don't know what that feels like it's always any type of nerves always equals absolute distress for me there's no coming off even if you accomplish the thing even if it's accomplished even when i was a competitive swimmer and even if i won the race and broke my record i i was always reeling in some kind of just like ball of like it was just pure distress i can't come down from anything really always like amped up and feeling like nauseated oh weird no sense of victory i wish i could feel that yeah yeah that's a bummer but maybe um you were conditioned to feel that way ah can't celebrate yeah yeah yeah i think because because my mom would rip off the metal from my neck and be like you can't celebrate yeah she was a swimmer in the philippines she was on the national team and whatnot and her mom was like literally um kind of a filipino hitler [Laughter] with the mustache oh yeah and she you know she would win these things and she would still be abusive yeah yeah yeah there was no winning with her there's no winning it was just that was whatever accomplishments you i i had were what she considered just baseline right you had to do but do you think that made you better it made me sadder there's nothing about that experience that made me that catapulted me into anything but like a broken person i hear you you don't look at those medals and go hey that was pretty good yeah damn nothing nothing i have them oh my god one of them is gold-plated you want one yeah hell yeah yeah i won the southeast asian games i want two gold medals i'll give them to you no don't give them to me mark sell them take but you don't look like no athlete to me no i'm not i was a skateboard kid you were oh big time that was my whole life wait wait wait you're a skater i was i mean i'm old now but yeah but so back because you know i grew up as a second all right don't please don't please don't all right i'm a poser uh please don't please we even opened up a skate shop but can't skate uh i opened up a skate shop right come on man come on man look at my body well that's now you're 61. yeah that's whoever said he's don't raise him i'm joking you look great even though you're coming out of your shirt at the bottom [Laughter] i love it i love please keep it coming yeah yeah i love being ripped on but um my point is um that i but i am a huge fan like i um you know i mean i knew i know andrew reynolds i know yeah you know um i knew jim greco yeah you know i um you know i just know a bunch of guys and i i grew up in san diego so oh yeah you know i worked as yeah and i know um anyway i know bunch but um i use i grew i worked at a coffee shop and right next to it was a warehouse which is the tom yeto warehouse where zero skateboards and and um um toy machine you know yeah yeah so it's like all those skaters and stuff would come by the coffee shop yeah yeah i mean so that's how i so i was kind of immersed in also transworld skateboarding magazine did an article about me i went you know i knew that all those guys was trans you got on a skate magazine oh yeah what did you do that's incredible that's cool man i would have killed to be in there yeah but he loves uh skating we use street or vert street all the way i had a mini ramp we built one in my backyard yeah i street all day we made videos we we did it up all right can you let me ask you can you obviously you can ollie yeah yeah yeah yeah kickflip oh yeah yeah yeah some kid hit me up he was like 22. he goes hey i like your comedy i heard you used to skate can i you know film you doing some [ __ ] i'm like yeah i'm rusty and we went out and i did a a kick flip i got a shove a 50 50 shove it out i did a board slide and uh oh wow i was sore for a week but i'm so glad i got that [Laughter] hard flip you ever pull one of those off maybe once or twice but that was a tough that's a tough one yeah yeah and plus the board is vertical so the uh the genital nicking was way higher oh that's true that's true i i can't believe like people hard flip onto like a rail i know these kids hate themselves they're bananas it's bananas the niger kid oh my god yeah the mixed guy yeah yeah killer or what's his name o'neil what's his name is it sean there's this kid from australia that's really good there's a japanese guy from my island from cebu oh that's the marriage that girl yeah what's her name it's amazing yeah she's amazing but these kids are now like insane like nine-year-old kids can do flip tricks onto a rail yeah and then flip out yeah it's insane the best trick contest at the x games now yeah is unheard of 10 years ago all these things not even the combinations are crazy yeah i think you and i are going to really get along because we're kind of you have the same kind of sense of humor oh yeah filthy filthy and weird probably well you know i took a what oh uh here's mark oh this is me [ __ ] around you got to back it up a little this is on a cold day in new york city there we go oh there we are i got it i mean oh almost it's not all right [Laughter] it was so fun and cool but uh yeah there we go yeah you're right i am it's amazing though oh yeah it was good to be back for just just a day yeah i love you pull up margeline d'dahl yeah who whatever the girl this is a girl from my island uh-huh in the philippines she's from cebu bobby and i watch her all day i follow her i love her yeah oh really yeah is she girl good or good good she's good i think she's good but i i don't have i don't see kate so i think she she you know i hate to say this and maybe you can scream at me right now yes all right scream memory right now and i like that point um you're joking i i get it but yeah immediately [Laughter] i know but there is like i catch myself going like because when i see someone like do you watch mma at all yeah i love mmo right so when you watch like someone like yona yanchez amanda nunez or even rose nami eunis right yeah they i always say they fight like guys right right you know and it's it's it's a strange thing like everything they do is like clean jabs and movement and sometimes you'll see you know a female and i'm going to get a [ __ ] lint for this but sometimes you'll see a female mma fighter and she you know that's how yeah punches yeah of course they punch like yeah a girl does in a bar right yeah okay so here we go this is where i'm going to get okay does she do anything all right all right just wait this is oh some it's not a good sign when the skate park looks better than the neighborhood okay that was good that's a good point oh 360. maybe switch who knows hey not too shabby not too shabby lip slide yeah damn oh yeah half cab out okay solid but she's a teenager wow you know what i mean oh is that right yeah yeah okay she's not like a 30 year old woman she's very good anyway very good very good i had to shout her out i had to but don't say what you're going to say about what the the ioanna jayjack and um you're right it was wrong yeah yeah yeah because i've seen many dudes fight like this and those are called hammer fists by the way and totally acceptable in mma and they work yeah oh yeah kamaru did yeah i'll tell you what did it and you know what i stand corrected and i apologize thank you okay and you know i'm going to say this right now and i want to say this out loud i think that most women are better than me is that the lesson and i'm gonna i just admitted that as a man hey guys we're gonna take a really quick break to share one of our favorite sponsors with you here's the bad news the world is full of uncertainty and that might leave you feeling stressed or anxious want the good news you can navigate change feel more relaxed and quiet your mind with calm listen guys we use this app in our own personal lives it's part of my it's my favorite part i can't sleep without it it's the favorite part of my day it's my it's part of my daily ritual i brush my teeth i take a shower i tuck myself into bed i put my little sleepy hat on i log into calm and i listen to their 10 guided 10 minute guided meditations to help me with my sleep they have really good um um field recording you know i mean like waterfalls the rains my favorite the rain and um you know i'm really into ambient music and stuff and they have the best of that as well um it really is um it's as simple as just downloading the app guys they have really well curated um music tracks as well and you can drift off into dreamland with calm's imaginative sleep stories now if you go to com.com belly belly you get a limited tight offer of 40 off a com premium subscription which includes hundreds of hours of programming and new content is added every week sleep more stress less live better with calm tell them more gilbert for listeners of the show com is offering a special limited time promotion of forty percent off a com premium subscription at com.com belly go to calm.com belly for forty percent off and unlimited access to calms entire library that's com.com belly enjoy the rest of the show i can see that they can defeat me in every sport right they're probably brighter than i am but they probably survive longer in a survival situation like in alone or you know if if they were on a deserted island right i'm weak right and they're better than i am all right i can't [ __ ] good i don't [ __ ] good and she knows it you know what i'll admit to this i don't i [ __ ] sloppy you don't do that with this sloppy can be good thank you so much and that's why i like you yeah i think he just [ __ ] weird i [ __ ] weird [ __ ] weird could be good how do i [ __ ] um so maximum eleven and a half pumps maximum wow but that half that half is extra it's like super long because i only i only want to do 10. right so you know at 10 i'm like i'm he's out and i go i gotta go that extra one you know yeah but the question is between you two who has more body hair depends where what part of the body come again what part of the body yeah nipples yeah oh that's a that's a great question it might be my [ __ ] has more hair i have to admit that because i have hair in the inside as well oh yeah yeah so that way my hair my hair distribution as annie letterman calls it is very um chemo patient it's like it's a little patchy yeah it's scarce in the fridge i call it chernobyl yeah yeah yeah yeah very chernobyly yeah a little bit yeah um okay the hair are you hairy no yeah i can use a little yeah i got no chest yeah i got the weird nip hairs that get uh you know get in the way shoot out yeah you look like you [ __ ] good no [Laughter] no no i [ __ ] like my comedy it's stiff it's quick yeah it's not pretty not much of an ending no closer yeah i'm working on it but it's it's fun though still huh sex yeah yeah sure you know i still get to i'm still you know and as a 50 year old man almost 50. i still when i'm doing it in my mind i'm always i'm like a teenager yeah i think to myself i can't believe i'm doing this i feel the same way right and when they wake up but no but i feel the same way but the whole time i'm thinking she's not into this she doesn't like me they say men worry about their performance and women worry about their appearance yeah yes that's correct yeah you know it's interesting to because you you know um i just have to say this you know um how do i say this sing it i think if i was gay yeah which i'm not jeremy um that i would find you to be cute oh thanks you're cute too i just i just want to let that sink in yeah i mean just let the silence speak for itself there was a character on the thundercats that you look like i love thundercats yeah the little i think you're nervous because it was intimate what we were doing it was not going to talk over it i had to get out of here i want you to look at me right now don't get out of it all right don't all right i'm going to slide back in say tell me that i'm cute again right look at my eyes you don't talk for 30 seconds hold on i can't find your eyes and you count them okay all right very funny very much but no you're cute thank you your feet aren't even hitting the ground you're talking adorable you're talking right so you're cute again and don't say anything anybody but lock eyes lock guys say you're cute say it you're all right so here's what my point though is that thank you my point is is that because i've seen your stand up and stuff and there is um you know you're cute you know you can skate you know you're from new orleans you know you but you have this low self-esteem sure yeah yeah and where does that come from i assume it's parental upbringing something like that bedwetter braces curly hair black neighborhood a lot of it's a big gumbo of bad news yeah yeah yeah and i think that probably did it you think so i guess i don't know it's so weird how culturally braces there's such a thing that like you get made fun of over here yeah like where i come from braces are so expensive so it denotes it shows that someone has status right they have money so it's so if someone let's say the orthodontist says oh it's been three years take your braces off people wear them until they're 60 years old to show money and status oh that makes sense crazy but it's kind of like in the renaissance of fatty was hot yes yes yeah same thing because they had enough money to get fat uh-huh yeah that's another thing fat babies back home yeah if your babies are fat you you you know you're kind of like oh they probably live in a big house yeah which also makes sense yeah when i used to go i used to go to the balboa museum at one of san diego as a kid you know when i was a young man because i had no friends and what i would do is just before stand up i would go to the museum and i would look at paintings and you would see fat women yeah i mean and just like this right and um i would have an erection you know i mean really oh yeah yeah well that's exactly why i found you attractive there you go man wait till you see uh do you keep buddha statues around him sumo wrestlers uh yes oh my god akibono oh my god childhood crush boner i don't know any of these words remember uh what was that fat wrestler in the wwf the fat asian yokozuna yokozuna yeah yeah he was hot i can't believe you remembered that oh yeah uh do you remember the tongue of the kid yes i did uh uh-huh or jimmy's the super flat snooker yeah okay remember okay but um let me just tell you about my body mm-hmm can i defend myself a little bit no you don't have to because i gave you a a compliment but what about when he's on top of you he's never he's my bottom he's my sister oh i don't know i don't do the work he thrusts from the bottom yeah yeah no i'm i do this even i mean i do this and i just close my eyes sometimes i fall asleep no but yeah i'm good at the bottom though man i'm good at the bottom man yeah sometimes i'll go dude dude sometimes i'll go you know what you know i i wasn't born in the year of the rabbit but i want to be you know right [Music] go up there and slow the [ __ ] out of the pool yeah hair max hair you're good with play on words my friend and that's what i enjoy about you when my gal's on top i can tell she's getting tired i lift her up and i start doing the hair you know just to show her like but then you get like four of those and it's very tiring you know when you when because i enjoy the kind of humor that we're talking about right now yeah i enjoy it but you think that it's uh i did watch a lot of sumo growing up i really did it's a great sport you really you honestly because when you met me i was salivating i was foaming i know but when i was you met me i wasn't this [ __ ] fat but you were tubby you're a tubby not a lot of definition let me say something to you mark norman all right all right i was on the wrestling team in high school get out of here yeah what what come on wait a minute you were wrestling with your sexuality i was on the team [ __ ] can we pull that up there how do i have it is there it online yeah it's a bobby lee picture because there's a picture of him with his varsity pick like in the oh wrestling stand have fought ben askren i think i could beat him [Laughter] same oh yeah yeah did you see that fight yeah that was wild whoa look how hot you were that's me and that's my brother my brother and i were both wrestlers oh my god look at the definition of my arms bro pretty good yeah pretty solid i mean i was 16. yeah yeah yeah so yeah anyone else hard i mean this could have got my life could have gone a completely oh yeah yeah what happened stand up hmm you find comedy and you go oh i don't have to do that here here yeah it's also like i think guys work on their body i know some they they say oh it's about my health right and they say it's about you know i just want to stay fit right yeah it's all about getting women you think i think deep down inside i think dumber said they want to look good for the opposite sex oh when you get naked yeah that's why people work out as a you know i think you know and they get nice cars because of that and right it's all that's the thing i know a couple juice heads that uh really are just love sucking their own dick and have no desire to look good for women they're just they like yeah i've seen them oh maybe yeah yeah yeah selfies and [ __ ] yeah but for me it's like you know when you're five four right and you're korean go on right and you're you're living in america and you're you know you're you're trudging you know along in your life and you grew up in san diego right very white very blonde you know you know what i'm saying yeah so it's like in my early 20s you know you kind of you i still have all the sexual organs that you have mark sure yeah i thought what's so funny you almost forgot his name i know because i was getting emotional it's because i knew i know his [ __ ] name all right all right but it's like you know keep going billy you're doing great you know in my head i'm like i either have to get to get women i have to do extra all right right so i have to either work out and be this like and do karate mm-hmm yeah i mean and be like the sensei yeah or when i found comment like oh this is my route it's a ticket this is the ticket and i don't know about you mark but when you when did you start stand-up 06 in how old are you i was 22 23. yeah i was 23 when i started as well yeah and you it changes everything right everything like everything yes yeah your whole night life is different you skip weddings nothing else matters you just gotta get good get up you'll lose money just to do the funny bone and dick [ __ ] town whatever it is yeah you love it so much you love it somewhat you get addicted to it yep and nobody understands it no one understands it and it's also um what about korean parents i can't even imagine oh you my parents didn't talk to me really yeah yeah oh yeah and when i did um when i did the tonight show i told them to watch it and they said um well my dad goes how much did you pay them my dad thought that tom cruise went on there to promote mission impossible yeah and then handed you know me jay leno a grand right to be on there you know what i mean yeah i just don't know how it works sure so when i explained to them no they asked me you know i mean and they i remember them coming to me i didn't have an agent or anything to get it you know and they started seeing me i was a doorman at the comedy store and they saw me at open mics and stuff and they go we think we can do it and they i put together a set and um i did it my point is the day after i did it my parents were just being korean they were devastated for not supporting me what about your parents they are more uh they're not against it but they just didn't care [Laughter] yeah it's more like i'm gonna go to new york and be a stand-up and they're like i just don't die you know all right which i'm fine with but i'm sure when they watch you on tv now now it's a different uh different tune yeah what is it what now it's like the tune you know they're telling friends and they're they're bragging and they're putting me on their social media kind of weird it's like i grew up with a scary dad and he started taking antidepressants and now he's like nice dad so he's like how you doing i'm like go because i know how scary he used to be yeah yeah because my dad you know what brand of scary like physical scary or like like lose your temper throw a plate against the wall yeah my dad was the same i mean my dad you want to meet my dad uh oh is he in a box yeah he's my body right here my dad right here oh well at least he's you know he's gonna get hurt right next to me you know and sometimes when i i go to my a meetings i put my ipad anyway let's move on anyway so my point my dad was [ __ ] crazy temper violent and um did you have trauma from it probably i mean it was terrifying and he used to cut you down in weird ways like make you feel stupid and little you know and so i was i didn't really talk a lot around them that's where it comes from your self-esteem oh god what are we doing here man i mean that's where it comes from you think oh yeah you can't grow up being belittled and also fearing i mean he was a nice guy i don't want to make it sound like uh yeah yeah this is like a dr phil thing i'm just saying he was he could and it would boy it would sting yeah but yeah i know but those but it's like a time bomb yeah oh yeah so so the whole time around it regardless if he's nice or not right there it's still there yeah right that you could still hear yeah you know i mean and my dad was same thing my dad would go months and six months with being completely kind well you would work you know we'd hardly see him sure and he would drink and that and then they'd be oh it's fine and then six months later you know i mean my mom's missing teeth you know i mean he gets now i'm being realized oh really oh jesus you're joking wait your mom was a meth head holy [ __ ] yeah she loved meth and um is she around yeah she's around oh thank god she out lived that much yes yeah but you know he but he was also he did matt tv i mean i don't know if you know that but yeah yeah yeah so um you just this is what i did when i was 23 and i held on a lot to like my mom just beat me up my whole life um i needed to reclaim my power so i i offered to duel her in a wrestling match because she had beak she had been she's still so physically superior by the way she has like 16 packs she's what she's raped she does she did um competitions her whole life so she was like a fitness person like sarah connor even to this day she's 60 and has bigger muscles than all of us in this room like she's what she's a beast when i was 23 i was like let's wrestle uh-oh and i needed to and we did we locked in and we separated and then she charged me and all i had to do was move and her head went through a window what and she cut herself and that was it there was no more like i was no longer traumatized i was like i have you you guys have all this and you're scared of coving vaccinated all right all right i don't want to push it yeah your mom is like like if you watch you know an apocalyptic movie yeah or like you know a zombie apocalypse movie and you know people are trying to survive yeah your mom would totally be like the leader i think well she's the muscle she's all brawn but she's not strategic that's why her head went through the window he didn't i basically told her i was like you might still be physically stronger but i am i'm a smart adult now i could just move to the side and hurt yourself yeah you know what you are in those kind of movies i'll tell you what you are you're paul ryzer and aliens i think oh yeah totally you mean like you know you're jewish oh yeah yeah yeah yeah but you [ __ ] everyone over right i'm kidding i hope not but no you're not you're you're you might have you're not that guy you're not that who knows who knows we'll see what happens when it when they show up yeah yeah i think you and i would die immediately probably do you think or not we'd have a good time on the way out but yeah yeah but i think you and i let me ask you something let's suppose there was an alien invasion right they slaughtered half the people yeah wait wait like illegal alien actual aliens oh god right yeah actual aliens and but then half the people they want to experiment on oh that's us so they capture half of us so you and i are in an alien spacecraft in some sort of prison yeah anal probe is coming right annual do you think you and i would be use humor as a defense mechanism or do you think we would just be scared i think we'd be scared i think humor it's too far gone at that point you don't think that like when they put the probe in your ass you know hey best alien joke each of you right now no like okay the probe in my off right i looked at mark and go that's all you got you think we make jokes like that maybe i don't know i mean it's aliens with a with a thing up her ass yeah maybe i don't know that seems uh unlikely but who knows i've never been in a situation that dire yeah have you ever had a life or death i have yeah um have you i don't think so i mean i've been in car wrecks and stuff like car practices i fell off a motorcycle once that was that's life that's scary i mean it was wasn't that bad it wasn't that bad i'm making it sound weird yeah yeah i was crushed in a car mm-hmm right did you walk away and go to delta yeah yeah i walked away went to del taco what a badass yeah and then when it came back um the ambulance goes hey sir stand back and i go why there's a dead body in that car and i go oh that's my car and i had a taco on my head like but that's my guitar and they go you crawled out of there yeah am i in trouble like i'm a survivor man damn one time on accident ralphie may sat on me ralphie though um i met him a little bit but now he was always way up there yeah he was who was your who's your crew in new york well you know it's a bunch of bunch of comics samurail joe list uh we got a whole i don't know if you know him we're a little uh let me i'm going to ask you some new york guys i know and and i want to see if you're friends with them or not chris d timothy chris giannis are you are you friends with andrew schultz i know all these guys yeah you're friends with christy yeah yeah he comes next week right doing his pod tomorrow okay good great guy great guy sweet guy handsome guy funny guy yeah naturally funny giannis we just had oh yeah he's a mess great guy though great guy heart of gold we did the five hour with uh whitney last night oh janos was on it yeah oh i wish i was there it was wild um what about now he this [ __ ] andrew schultz who's killing it harder than schultz killing it killing that's why i call him a [ __ ] yeah yeah you gotta he's young he's he has a perspective of life you know and his ideas about the business are so far beyond his years i think yeah completely he's kind of a savant in that algorithmy internet you know what's next kind of [ __ ] yeah yeah i don't have any of that yeah i'm just working on the next bit but that doesn't do anything for you you know one tick tock and you're off to the races dude like i pay a guy to do my tick tock that's how out to lunch yeah yeah isn't it tiring the uh do all these no i'm being real when clubhouse came out i i almost killed myself i can't do another one it's too much too much and it's like you know i just missed the days of just kind of promoting and then going to a show doing it and then that's it and then leaving yeah we're not you know i'm not a tick talker i'm not you know i mean an instagram guy i don't want to be forced and in many ways they make you do it because they're especially when your career is not going well it's like your agents will call you and go you got to create a youtube channel and create some content i know and then you're like oh [ __ ] you know i mean yeah and then you do it people are doing it for you you're very popular in tik tok oh really yeah there's so many just viral videos that's steve byrne but yeah that that's kind of flattering when someone else does that i've had people like mimic my act or lip sync it and you're like oh come on somebody's watching somebody gives the [ __ ] enough to do that yeah yeah is is like do you want to do acting or anything like that i can't act it's not good i just don't care i had to do a i've done a million i've done a million auditions i've never gotten one and i had to do one where my dad died next to me on a couch and they threw me out of the room it's that bad oh really like get out of here what are you doing yeah i was like oh dad what are you crazy are you dying on us yeah please louise yeah yeah you're like all right you're wasting our time i was like i drove here from santa monica it took three hours yeah it's it's weird that because they kind of like your people call you yes this is a great opportunity yes they'll see stuff like that and it can elevate your career and it'll it'll translate into you know i mean yeah numbers and all that kind of stuff and then you start thinking maybe i will get it maybe it could change my career but mark what i'm saying to you is is that all those experiences that you have everyone goes to that yeah but you get stuff no but i want to say this though and and you you can be you know i mean you can back me up here is i've been in la since 1999 98 right wow and yes i have gotten a lot of stuff right but i've been told no a million times and i've had ptsd in those rooms yeah when you sign up right you're in a hallway with a bunch of folding chairs you sit there and people who look like you people they all look like you they're wearing hawaiian shirts or whatever it might be right yeah yeah and then you're just kind of like they call your name and you rehearsed it for two days yep right and as you stand up it all yeah yeah it all just it's gone so good right because you know i mean you and then you start panicking yes and then you start unfolding your sides on the walk into the room yeah because it all slipped away oh and this is the jew [ __ ] behind the desk going she's eating uh she's eating noodles like all right thirty eight hundredths guy she saw that day right and then it's like all the stuff that you memorized that you knew inside and out is so gone that now you're reading it off the page yeah yeah and then they're like you know um thank you yeah it's over like that it's over like that you walk and then there's a feeling when you leave and you're in your car that's so demoralizing man did you nail that yeah yeah yeah but i'm saying to you i just got a shitty feeling because i know that feeling yeah yeah i know i know and i because i'm telling you when you were talking about your thing is all the things that i've i've lived through wow at the end of the day though i have to say to you that you will get one ah that's what my agent said damn it yeah yeah and and when you do get one and you show up and you do it and it comes out okay you get better yeah and better and better and then one day you're going to be in a situation where you're going to be around with all these people that you never thought you'd be working with it gets pretty bad for him one time he came home and he was like he had a bloody nose like he was bloodied up and cut up after an audition and i was like what what happened he's like i beat myself up that's how badly he felt like he beat himself up with a water bottle and over and over again because you felt just so humiliated did you get it that was that bob odenko you know what he did get it oh yeah all right yeah one time she dragged me into the thing i beat myself up and then the call was this because here's the deal mark is um okay um as an actor right you have a group of guys right and and um like any actor in la white guy your type whatever right but as a producer i go all right but this guy is green i'm talking about you but he has a huge audience right that helps know who he is right and it's going to help me with the movie so all you have to do is deliver something that's either mediocre to good right right in that kind of ballpark and then you have a shot yes you know so it's like when i beat myself up they were like he didn't know his lines he read it off the page and one of the producers says yeah but you know he's a funny guy he's like intrinsically funny and we know who he is and what he is i think that we can work with it when he's on set ah right and you will go through the same thing because i have been hearing about your name for a couple of years now right but not just in uh oh you hear about this funny guy no like he's you know yeah here we go here's a compliment here can i just just shut up man oh god you're gonna take it man hold on let me put my hand am i yelling am i doing being too crazy am i being too fast i'm sorry you're fine uh just i'm gonna i'm gonna no no no no put those back in all right all right i just want to say this um pro that um you know i have i mean a pool of people all right but how about i just get to that level and then do the [ __ ] up man instead of uh white mouth white people always have to talk over the ethnics right through let me so let me just finish what i'm saying all right and then you react react accordingly all right look at me say i'm cute again cute look at me very cute yeah okay there's an old aa saying i mean alcoholics anonymous they say they always say fake it till you make it fake it till you make it yeah i've heard it right so it's like you you show up like you know i'm i was just in oklahoma quit bragging and i did this this um fx show where i played a doctor and i was scared of it when i did the rehearsal asked sterling the showrunner he was a little scared because when i did the rehearsal i was stuttering through every line because the cast and the kids were there and the all the cameras were set up and you know there's a hundred people in the room yeah you know i'm stuttering through the thing and what i did was i started breathing and i and i announced to everyone i go i know that that don't be nervous i know i stuttered and i know i i am nervous right but when we shoot i'm going to kill it you just have to fake it you got to figure it and it feels like everyone else is nailing it everyone else is confident except you but they're [ __ ] up too they're not yeah thank you that's exactly the thing so are you gonna still audition or no i'll wait till i get big and then i i had neil brennan call me the other day he's like i got something for you and then i've had schumer give me a thing so it's like can i just do that oh you know i don't have to do the [ __ ] because don't you feel like you're just a stack on a pile of tapes or whatever it is and no you don't think when i get an audition i had one yesterday gilbert came up where i put myself on tape and and it was the second time for this one thing because it's like the first time i did it they called and said it's wrong wow but that they might not care they cared enough right you do it again it's wrong we'll give you some notes right it's absolutely wrong and it wasn't good right it was a black guy yeah yeah wrong role yeah but then gilbert came over last night you know what normally i would be like for me five years ago i've been like you know it's not for me there's no way i'm gonna get it yeah but i did it because i'm gonna try there you go i have to try right and i think i have a chance here here and i go into everyone like that i have to try it's got you know me i know you fart all you want sorry right and it's like um you're on a roll keep going baby this is good this is your oscar speech i'm gonna help you hey [ __ ] face i'm trying to help you i'm listening it's all good stuff i just had a we had a meatloaf where'd you get me we got into the noho diner over here is it good yeah yeah pretty good you know what georgie yeah big gay scene i called you georgie hey guys we're gonna take another quick break to share this awesome sponsor with you you guys roman swipes oh this is the new deal baby what ha what happens is i don't know if you guys know this um when you get sexualities in a bed the male instrument becomes erect right and i don't know if you know this but sometimes it's not a guaranteed fact that that male erection is gonna last here's here's what you need roman swipes i've been using it baby most guys have tried different ways to last longer but thinking about baseball doesn't always work the folks at roman and online men's health company are changing the game with roman swipes the secret to longer lasting sex roman swipes are a clinically proven way to last 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palace and then this is on this is my dream yeah it's unbelievable and it's in your you can do it come on this has got to be a couple mills no you can do it what do it work do it you can do it and you know that's also a self-esteem thing yeah like owning this i can't even imagine this is bananas before this we were in a two-bedroom hovel hovel oh really yeah yeah we lived here for years for our first six years together yeah it was like we had six animals in a hovel gosh third floor of an apartment building jesus right and it was that's where we started the podcast we'd have to bring people up and it was like embarrassing in many ways yeah it was embarrassing because you know i would bring up comics and people that i started with there are huge stars now yeah different mansions and i used to bring about the shitty elevator and go i still live here yeah yeah we had like i haven't made it yet yeah oh [ __ ] and it's like i then all of a sudden i'm like you know no i can do this right and um you are going to be able to do that too well this has turned into a weird self but i'll tell you i appreciate it podcast is not all you know these other guys these other [ __ ] you know i mean they do it right mm-hmm they're all about you cackle cackle cackle yeah yucky you know yeah yeah yeah but papa sometimes you know that's me you know sometimes i wanna you know let's connect man let's connect baby i'm in yeah i'm a therapy guy yeah are you in therapy oh yeah oh yeah for years yeah changed my life yeah me too i love therapy and you're an aaa yeah that's a lot of help you're getting yeah i'm getting a lot of help and you're still twisted i'm [ __ ] up yeah yeah but we just see me loaded um i can't wait yeah um so at the end by the way you know um because i don't know you that well and um at all actually yeah it's our first conversation yeah and we and i was you know i was telling the guys like i you know i hope i you know but i immediately as soon as we started talking thought i i would love to have this guy back you know this guy is great i'd love to come back well you're a real comic i feel like comic to com you can feel it you can feel it in the words of seinfeld every comic has 10 000 things in common before they even met oh yeah yeah we do we have a lot in common and the skateboarding and all the other stuff and it's like they're just something there's like something yeah i mean are we going to [ __ ] what thanks here i don't want to [ __ ] you all right i will okay i love it yeah if we were on an island though and um let's just throw out that scenario sure right [ __ ] the alien one thank you and i are an island now how long would it take for us to [ __ ] i would be in that mouth so fast oh i'm the one that's a suck yeah oh come on with that little crust i imagine like 30 years on this island and one day i just go can you give me a [ __ ] for once my mouth was all dried and cracked tired i'm tired it's been like 90 000 times can i please and you would not let you wouldn't blow me one time i'd probably blow you [ __ ] okay is that circumcised no because i i'm beginning to think because i'm getting old that the skin is now growing back over a little bit so i had to i told you that yeah i have to now physically untuck it sometimes yeah i just think that's just a hardened that's calloused over the years oh from all that bottom pumping all right bottom palace you guys go in there the butt stuff um i don't like the way you asked that into butt stuff yeah yeah i've offered the butt stuff many times he's not in are you butt stuff no yeah i'm not butt stuff either yeah you're a parker i i guess i am but yeah yeah no you you like it or you won't you don't like doing it i don't like it because it doesn't have natural lubrication yeah i've definitely like which is weird like every single guy i've dated like i've fingered every guy's [ __ ] really it's a power move it's it's not it's a lot of dudes back in the day when they used to rape and pillage you know i mean and guys used to like you know let's say i was you know right i'm in genghis's clan yeah and we're going into a village right and he's like we have to yo man burn it down and i'm gonna be like yeah and we will [ __ ] them i'm like yeah and i would go to the manliest dude right and [ __ ] him in the ass nice yeah just to show my power that's a power move that's what you do in jail exactly it's like this is what is that how you establish pecking order in jail oh yeah pegging order pegging order yeah i always do wonder that i feel like you would thrive in jail like you would be like he just is really strategic he's not a physical man but he's you know he's a cunning cunning man interesting i do mind games yeah you would [ __ ] with like the contraband like you would do some you know you'd have the cigarettes yeah yeah i would they would open my body up if i died and they would see ninety thousand balloons heroin heroin balloons yeah yeah i would like to try 99. [Laughter] heroin balloons all right so at the end of our show um we do a thing called unhelpful advice and we people email us questions we try to give them advice oh great yeah i could do five hours with you but i'm not gonna do what whitney did thank you right we're ending it already yeah no we're doing this at closing bid okay yeah uh before that we asked i actually have a patreon question uh from fatty nguyen mark has stated to be an atheist but as a native of new orleans new orleans a hotbed of spirits and creole religions does mark believe in ghosts and does he have any good ghost stories i don't and i look down upon anyone who does believe in ghosts i think it's silly uh-oh now here's i have a question because i i've been amazing it's too convenient oh there's a ghost in here it's like well wouldn't there be millions of ghosts from all the people that died and this ghost is just happening to be moving [ __ ] around subtly i don't know well this spiritual energy i think that's real there's all this energy and stuff from dead people and other people who've lived before us i'm with you on that but the caspari kind of oh did you ever see the movie they live no with the glasses yes yeah it's been a while roddy roddy piper was in a movie called they live right he puts on a pair of glasses and then he can see yeah all the stuff you're just not wearing the glasses my friend ah i don't i don't buy it it's no no i'm just saying perfect and here's the deal bro my grandmother was in this bedroom and you can feel her shut up all the time it doesn't make sense yeah yeah but you don't believe in god at all nah i wish i did i didn't i don't either so let me it's hard because he's very much a believer oh well that's good no it's not they say believers are happier healthy it's true i agree yeah yeah but here's and and i know my belief right is tied in to the fear of dying of course right because without it right i would just be completely and utterly petrified yeah all right so i have to believe in something so i could just move on with life and conveniently if there is something you believed yeah we're in we're so we did you're right about that have you seen the documentary hands on a hard body no it's basically this contest in texas where um they get like what 20 people they start with like 50 people it's a radio pro so a radio a radio show come on down to you know i mean phil's car lot yeah and we're doing a contest to get this brand new truck and so they get 20 contestants they have to put their hand somewhere on the truck and whoever you know i mean oh i've heard their hand off of it they get disqualified yeah eliminated but the types that they have on the types of people that they have on there like you could basically bobby and i were betting on who we think would last the longest yeah and i always put my money on the religious freak just because that belief in something bigger really keeps them there longer and that woman remember she was speaking in tongues yeah she was there for like three days yeah yeah yeah yeah hand on this truck yeah for me it's like i have this yeah that's a good point i just have this fear of dying that makes sense do you have a fear of dying of course that's why i want to do so much before i go feels like it makes your life longer you're doing stuff you're not wasting it we're only here for one blip that's why these people get so complainy and annoying and sad i'm like this is it this is the this is the only shot we got and you're just gonna [ __ ] and moan on yelp come on hug your kids go outside get a hobby yeah yeah [ __ ] yeah so what you're saying is is that that thought processes and the what you what you believe is why you become as successful as you have i mean yeah i think just go for it go for everything that's very that's a good you know what buddy let me say this to you thumbs up to you man hit me hey you as well you come on i you know i i i i'm that's a good message for our listeners to hear yeah go for it no matter what it is take a shot and you could fail but at least you went yeah even if you're working in a cubicle or enough mark sorry but not enough of it all right white man take it over to do the thing hey guys we got some big papayas over here this week's unhelpful advice is brought to you by the big papayas over at patreon these are you know i love all our listeners but you know in every army you have generals and sergeants and stuff and these are the generals and sergeants okay we've got colonel judy tan yeah we got sergeant dominic rodriguez oh yeah served three to duties in um baltimore we've got adam lavoy is that his name is it lavoie lavoy lavoie yeah we got chief kyle snuffer oh yeah from the snuffer clan we got rachel wilkins she's a sniper and infantry woman yep you've got bond johnson explosives we got melvin flores medic supply sergeant and supply sergeant we got rebecca torres she shines pilot the pilot she shines she shines the pilot and the planes and she's great at it havie is from singapore enemy number one uh-oh he's on the other side i don't know why he's on this list we got rico salvador caldevar salvador saldivar saldivar rico saldavar what you know what he does in training camp you know that net that you have to climb yeah early in the morning he wakes up and he puts up the net oh he's the neck guy yeah yeah yeah that people can climb inside right but you know he's bad because he doesn't take it down yeah and then it rains and [ __ ] up the net anyway um we got aaron wasser hold on what happened to this drum isn't it aaron wasserstrom it's always been aaron rothwasser it's always been aaron wasserstrom maybe he changed his name maybe he got remarried you know i mean maybe strom was his like you know yeah the worst yeah yeah and then he got green or he got a divorce and now it's just wasser again what does he do aaron wasserstrom yeah he um clipboards that's a very important job yeah so you know like every in the morning oh you know you got a confused look on your face i don't understand yeah yeah so basically it's like you know you when you wake when you when you have new cadets and they're at the base camp or whatever and you read off their names what is that in uk a cliff board right yeah and wasserman does that okay finally we have nile we have nile red wow and nile red you okay no get some water nile red what does he do nile red he's a harbor pilot he died no harbor pilot he has a harbor pilot he tells where the other boats to go like the reef is it's shallow here he still doesn't use the ghost he still does he's a ghost oh okay he's the ghost of nile red now red died in world war one yeah okay and then now he's a ghost glad to have you back now red right and he now does the thing that you just said yep we were there anyway thank you and hopeful advice with mark norman hey tiger belly huge fan just found out about your podcast this year a little late but listen to every single episode my question is what are your thoughts on guys wearing earrings and this listener sent this in because he's wearing them but he's feeling a little self-conscious a black guy is different is that a black guy brown guy brown could be a mix actually those eyebrows are from groucho a couple of caterpillars eh yeah they're earrings they look photoshopped on there they're studs or whatever you're calling who wants to know can you still pull this off is this cool do women look down on this do guys think it's stupid i think it's uh it just doesn't matter if you're unsure right and you already don't have the confidence walking into it it will never work for you good point you got to own it baby you know my left ear did you know my left ears pierced i love anything you're so confident i remember the first time i had sex with you you were wearing cheetah printed panties not even men's underwear yeah yeah women and he was like dancing in a corner like this yeah in a dark corner guitar hilarious you would call that confident i would call it cry for help dude before i met my before i met my current girlfriend i remember them telling me that story and i did that to a girl just to see what would happen they work oh yeah hey i air guitar right with my pew you laugh wait i stretch my pews out and i do tunes on the i stretch it out and i do tunes on the [ __ ] uh i play stairway to heaven on the [ __ ] thing that's so hard to do so hard to do it's so intricate my point is is that i've always been like that you know yeah so it's like this young guy it's like you just have to you know anything that it's like a peacock right yeah i always peacock it only males right it's like express yourself right and i think that you know the loudest you know the peacock is the one that gets the most [ __ ] not always what do you mean stumped we've said time and time again like i always think the loudest person in the room always has the least to say i agree not saying listen bro bro you don't have to this is a 50 50 podcast bro all right yeah you can agree with her and i'm fine with it right i'm not saying you're the loud guy i'm just saying express yourself bro see how low you are you're not allowed at all yeah that's right so um okay yeah i don't think peacocking is the way to go i'm just saying love what you're doing and do you do you don't ask people you can't speak outward at validation because that's just a turn off makes the [ __ ] all right good to know another honest lady yeah keep it real you have any other questions yeah sure i'm 30 but now i've always had a difficult time connecting with people and felt like an outsider over the last four years i must have talked over a hundred women on dating apps meeting dozens and the only one i did feel a strong connection with that really understood me uh didn't like me and she ended up toying with me and kind of broke my heart do i do i seem doomed to always feel like an outsider i feel like as time goes on it feels harder and harder to connect or relate as i sink deeper into lonely behavior oh we got an end cell possible shooter yeah that's the start but i've been there we've all been there it's a phase although 30 is a little late for that bro i don't know what to say to that because it's like in many ways i i understand it because that's kind of like some of my internal dialogue actually as a young man i think that same right yeah yeah but i think that when let me ask you this when you start doing stand-up that that side kind of dissipated that's what i was gonna say to this guy some advice get a thing start playing the guitar go go deep into fantasy football whatever it is and then a woman will be into that thing because you're you're passionate about it yeah because he's not gonna be passionate about you no offense this guy's a boy but you gotta get a thing get something you love because you're putting it all on her and it's unfair to her and then when you see her you're coming it's coming out of your eyes you're so desperate so you gotta fall in love with something else first also worth noting he says he's been on like hundreds of like it's just like watching porn all day every day for years your dick just won't get hard for the most hd okay it's just you gotta scale it down a little bit yeah so that you can differentiate one from the other because it all starts to just feel the same it's burnout did i tell you a story treatment like i've never told before i know a guy named john kingsley and this guy is red-headed he weighs about 250 right he's got freckles from the forehead all the way down to his toes there's not a region where there isn't freckles right he's mopey and i knew him back back in the day when i was in my 20s and i he goes i i want to kill myself i go go ahead i don't give a [ __ ] whatever you know i mean but then he he found wood wood carving oh there you go get him so he went so he started wood carving and he became really good right he could take like a piece of wood and you know make a mermaid or whatever it might be right and one day he was out in the woods and he found a piece of wood and he was deep in and he sees a lady in there out there who's hot as [ __ ] right who's also picking up wood all right come on and then she goes she walks up to him and she goes is this you know i mean do you think this is this will hold up in the i don't know much about that right he's like yeah but you know i think whatever you're trying to make this this piece of wood that i found and she's and they started talking and they they got married wow signed your wood yeah i made up that story oh my god sounded too good just lie in life kingsley baby i was like is he thinking of ben man pretty good uh pretty good believe it though yeah yeah it's pretty good yeah your guys are so sick i'm like i don't know anything about woodcock you know a couple of years ago when we first started this podcast bobby fought me on this for a whole hour saying that more people knew and found kaiser soze more relevant than elon musk no no no no no no no that was the remember the argument that wasn't the argument that was the argument he was like more famous kaiser or elon musk at that time i said elon musk he's like kaiser so this is what three eight years ago seven years ago go ahead it's because you didn't know who elon musk was yes at that time at the time you didn't know let me ask you something dude do you want a job here [Laughter] to be fair to be fair i also said something ignorant like he invented tesla coils or something like that so i just it's close there are other producers i can get look at the guy behind you stay george it's a 50 50. you're staying don't let this man threaten you yeah it means nothing you have a guy shadowing you right here [Laughter] same hawaiian yeah he doesn't know mark i brought him in here bro yeah and he's not gay yeah anything you want to promote mark oh hey thanks for having me i'd still be like that no no um i got two pods of my own you know times are tight uh the pandemic i started another one we might be drunk and i have one called tuesdays with stories and watch my special on youtube we're almost up to seven million views it's called out to lunch nice is that is that a play on tuesdays with mori yeah nicely done i don't know what that is look made me cool who povich who's more famous maury or elon musk you know who kaiser susie is though yeah oh yeah thank you susie all right you don't look at your sushi strands now mark so you do your podcast in new york so when i'm in new york i can hit you up and do yours hit me up we don't get yes but uh we'll make it hit me up okay just hit me up we'll get a cough no you don't have guests on your podcast no which is why it's doing so poorly but we probably should so if you come in we'll make we'll make a little baby seat okay no i'm not at the bro i'm not asking you to make a c come by right but i would it was like a way for me to make me try to get in your world i would love you and then you kind of cut it off i don't want to get coffee with you we're not gay yeah i mean we'd have coffee for sit there and what yum yum donuts and have coffee that sounds pretty good who's that your uncle but yeah yeah good point but you don't drink yeah i don't know i want coffee yeah yeah there's nothing else to do what clubs do you play the seller all of them yeah yeah all of them yeah yeah you got to do it but i'm on the road like a madman so come out and say hello do you know what what's your favorite clubs oh there's one in wuhan now i don't know you know i like denver i like san francisco how many works downtown one of my favorites unbelievable they're right there yeah i love uh madison is amazing oh comedy on what was that state state beautiful one of my favorites did two albums there of all time i love that that room is uh just there's something magic in that magic in that room what else denver phoenix san francisco phoenix stand up live or i like the improv time yeah one of my favorites great room yeah we're on the wall in a lot of these places by the way thank you that's gotta be nice it's great yeah you're clothed though so i didn't recognize it but yeah do you ever play schaumburg yeah that's a big room but i've done it but that's a good one it's a good one but i like the zany's i like that gritty downtown i know you do i enjoy it okay well you can sell out 18 shows because it's so little yeah i feel cool give mark a round of applause he was amazing oh come on thank you for having me big fan it's an honor praise all of you hey guys you guys asked we delivered mark norman in the house finally somebody with a wider voice than me on the pod i love it whoa andres what happened say my name oh god george kimmel thank you oh i don't like the way you're so commandful someone's a grumpy dad someone's not sleeping no i need i need respected authority now that i'm a dad how crazy is that you got fired in two shows in a span of two weeks is that crazy yup i'll get fired next week and the week after that keep coming back bloodbath fires you man so many firings um george i want to just give a shout out to our sponsors uh ketosco.com all right drift off to dreamland easier with calm sleep stories com is offering a special limited time promotion of 40 off a comm premium subscription at com.com belly last longer go to getroman.com belly and get 10 off your first order of swipes plus free two-day shipping just keep swiping your piece uh also guys if you want to send any questions like today uh you can send those to advice and helpful gmail.com and if you're wondering hey how did that one person ask mark that super cool ghost question uh you can do that patreon.com tigerbelly what other content do we have there george oh we got vlogs we've got the singing competition we've got old uh the old podcasts uh whack and we were doing an extra half an hour a week if you haven't checked those out archives those are all classic um we got the what else well the top well top secret vlogs that are out now uh we got ahead uh did a few uh special episodes that are coming out is it in a month now yeah but yeah we got some special episodes but we got some behind the scenes of those uh up on the patreon as well that's what's up guys uh make sure you follow tiger billy on instagram at tiger valley everything bobby leah bobby live everything george george underscore kimmel everything uh kalali clem decay and myself at gilbert uh george anything you want to shout out you should you should shout out something right now what what should i shout out anything no i got nothing to shout out nothing at all nothing's happening shout something out i want you because i haven't heard you shout anything out in a while every time i've asked no i feel like i have to shout out my wife like what is that what you're asking for shout out your wife oh uh without any prodding uh shout out to my wife uh thanks for the child thanks for giving the birthday you played your part too good job uh if guys you wanna listen some mma stuff check out we out here mma with me and some uh friends that you guys may know we have a special guest on that lately oh it's oh guys oh yeah wow five weeks ago oh no no no once this comes out guys oh true well guys uh we got here mma we had the slept king on my mma podcast so check that out on the youtubes all right guys we love you so much um send george all uh him love send him love the guy's been fired twice if you're listening to this now he's been fired twice and uh he's had a stressful time you know trying to sleep so send him your love and also uh make sure you dm him for a sticker packs bye [Music] bye [Music] yo

Channel: TigerBelly

Views: 882,080

Keywords: tiger belly, tigerbelly, bobby lee, podcast, khalyla, tgrbly, all things comedy, mad tv, stand up, tpw, tkats, tfatk, bad friends, comedy podcast, Bobby lee andrew santino, tigerbelly clips, bobby lee podcast, mark normand, chris distefano, whitney cummings, skateboarding, sam morril, conan, this is not happening, reaction, h3 podcast, stand up comedy, bad friends podcast, good for you podcast, howard stern, jknews, flagrant 2, hey babe, annie lederman, jim and sam

Id: PeiVBXOqT0g

Length: 79min 2sec (4742 seconds)

Published: Thu May 06 2021

Reddit Comments

[u/TheReaIDude]

Normand might be one of the funniest guys on the planet right now.

[u/brch01]

Wish these episodes were longer

[u/WakednBaked]

Bobby must have told the screaming in the theater during Hereditary story about 50 times now.

[u/Villamore94]

Nice seeing they got Kevin Hart on the show

[u/clingklop]

Well, that face did not match the voice (he handsome)

[u/skipsmaster]

Did khalyla used to swim?

[u/yungsolipsist]

Mark has the best special of all of 2020

[u/miscpostman]

Normand was so nervous the whole episode haha, still funny though.

​

- Just one more day til Scissor Bros!

[u/savvyxxl]

comedy