Anthony Jeselnik Brings the Funeral Vibes | TigerBelly 297

i don't know like fatigue becomes like a big reason to like complain and whine oh yeah i mean bobby's super healthy so like normally you know wouldn't it attack them but with this you know different age demographics i hope so okay good so wow wow i love him nice feet look at this he's got nice long feet skinny legs he's got the whole thing all right begin five four oh wait wait stop stop don't look at why keep looking at me all right so here's the deal um what let's i like it so um don't say anything until i say your name okay go ahead thank you for telling me you're welcome [Music] [Music] oh god what a day huh what i woke up i woke up and um just nothing happened i woke up at two it was like the weight of the world was on me and i it was one of those things where last night i got i didn't really eat last night so i got i woke up really hungry so i have i got my little juice here really good from well nice and i always get the uh what's up the banana one what's it called i don't know okay it's delicious it's got peanut butter right now with oatmeal yeah yeah yeah um we've got a very excited podcast today i'll tell you this right now because uh but before we even get into that i want to talk to uh what's your name george good to see your father how's the how's that been great good you look good your hair is different i feel like your hair is different side parted it's more like uh fatherly side-parted yeah you have a different energy about you congratulations uh we've got my you know i keep saying that you have a flat face and you don't because my face is way flatter than yours do you think so i think so i'll be honest is his face flatter than mine yours is just wider yeah yeah yeah your face is wider all right yay okay 2d king yeah like my face is delaware you're texas jesus but the flatness i'm you know i mean i'm the guy okay thank you okay my beautiful girlfriend um kala thank you and uh you're uh a beauty and you're the love of my life it's unfortunate it's unfortunate i appreciate it um this next comic that i want to introduce that's in inside my house i've been wanting him on my podcast for years i would have to say um that um he's got sort of a james a dark james dean kind of a vibe you know i mean and he's always put together like i would have to say that like you know in terms of comics that dress pretty good i think kevin christie's there you know i mean i know your feelings about how nick youssef is dressed but uh i like how way nick yousef's dress but he's like very like you know very chic i think you know i'm hit and miss but i buy the expensive stuff that's i wear the gucci glasses you know what i mean i i got these japanese pants you know what i mean and uh but this next guy's dress he dresses good he always wears leather jackets and i always want to go where'd he get that leather jacket but it wouldn't look good on me but um he's thin he's lean [Laughter] and here's another thing you know um he you know i've seen him on the television you know and and and i have to admit and i don't admit this about any other comic maybe there's a two or three of them like when burr performs i'll watch i watch him because i always want to get because he's his stand-up is like he's so good and um his joke writing is so good it's like precision it's precision joke is that am i saying that right position precision drug writing there's always a switch right there's always a a button right and i always want to guess where the button is and i'm usually wrong you know i mean which is great that's the mark of a good writer and um i want to be in and i've always been kind of intimidated by him because he's a man of few words you know what i mean it's almost as if like it's one of those things like how's it going i'm good your handshake yeah i get like the thing michael jackson what is this michael j fox parkinson's yeah i start having parkinson's like see you later you know um but he agreed to do it um i was gonna push him because he came here at four i was gonna push him to six o'clock because leslie jones called me she goes i want to do four that's so true so i go i don't know maybe how long are you gonna do i wanna do three hours baby either me or whatever i got i don't think that's the case um but we got them anthony jeselnik everybody yeah why thank you i'll just admit this up top from the second you said don't say anything until i say your name i just got angry and angry i could tell as you went on and on i could tell i could know thank you for doing this no thank you for having me i've uh i appreciate uh the invites you know we've been friends a long time yeah and i don't do a lot of podcasts yeah i'm happy to be here doing this one thank you uh so you know for me it's like remember i ran into you at the comedy store right and i said you didn't die and then you looked at me and said did you think that i was gonna die how did you do during the pandemic was it depressing for you uh i lost my [ __ ] real quick you know but in like almost a good way where i think that i by the time it was over i was okay but i was supposed to be uh shooting a tv show like two weeks before like it was scheduled to shoot we had it all booked we had it written i had been fitted for like for new suits and everything and then it got shut down that for the first like a month i'm like are we coming back do i have to like do i have to keep working out am i maintaining this i couldn't just lose it so that made me even crazier and then once the show was cancelled like flat out can't like oh wait you got a show that you haven't even shot yet and it was cancelled already i had shot the first season a show called good talk on comedy center oh okay we're about to shoot the second season and so i was like well i've got employees relying on me you know and the big thing was like the fitted suit like i've been working out five days a week not not drinking not smoking yeah eating really well yeah i couldn't just let myself go the way people did yeah and that was that's was so stressful and then after like a month i just started the show got cancelled i started hitting the bottle where it was like time didn't mean anything so i would just like the only way i would leave my house was like to walk to walgreens and get a bottle of vodka and then like a couple weeks after that my friends were like we're concerned about you and i said okay like i i have friends who will say everyone thinks i should go to rehab but [ __ ] that i'm like if all my friends told me to go to rehab i would go to rehab immediately yeah so as soon as i had like we're concerned i said okay knock that off got myself a dog and then i was on like dog duty yeah the rest of it and then well that's how you know you're not alcoholic because that's the thing it's like when you can drink excessively people normal human being beings do that it's just that when people um confront them right alcoholics will keep drinking i mean you didn't yeah i was never like a secret drinker it was like i'm very open about what i'm doing and how i'm doing it but once i got the dog then it was like okay it's not fun to be hungover and dealing with a puppy you know so i so i it was very easy to kind of clean up and then the past couple months i've been like working out again you know i got the vaccine so i started doing stand up and stand up was my social life you know i don't have a lot of friends but i would see people every night doing shows and that was taken away from me yeah so i was i was just i feel like i'm in a great place now and people who were good in the beginning who were like working out a lot and doing yoga and stuff now they're kind of losing it right i feel that i feel like i'm in a good place yeah yeah it's interesting what you said because i think um we're meant i mean it's gonna be strange to say but um that we're very alike in many ways in the sense that like i too don't have my social life is always comedy clubs like i'm not one of those guys like you'll hear like two comics we'll literally go to lake tahoe for a vacation together it's like that's [ __ ] weird yeah yeah i'm like i see them at this club maybe every once in a while they'll be like sebastian will go hey you know lana's out of town you want to go to swingers and i'll go to swingers with them but like wait wait wait that was your impression of sebastian manafort just let's just lift up yes okay i just i just wanted to confirm [Laughter] it was terrible but i'm not a man of voices i gave it a go i committed to it anywho you and i are very like in that way yeah so i don't go out like you know i don't have plans have you been even invited to a wedding i haven't been invited to a wedding yeah like i have the good friends who have gotten married that i find out way after them you just don't want me at your wedding yeah and i'm thrilled not to have to go to a wedding yeah i don't take it as an insult it's like thank you so much for not making me do this it doesn't because there are weddings that i knew if i was invited to i wouldn't even gone but then if they don't invite me i get hurt by it really yeah yeah because i just want i just want the gesture you know i want somebody just to reach out you've never been to a single comedy wedding no i mean i got invited to uh natasha legero and moshe cash's wedding but i had to get it was like during oddball so like a bunch of comics had to go somewhere else we were like let's do the gig and then we'll go afterwards to the party and then we realized that we'd be the biggest [ __ ] ever if we just rolled in like all wasted at like at midnight yeah yeah talking about all the money we made how was the wedding you know yeah you didn't do that so that hurts me right there i was not invited to their wedding i'm not the vibe you want at a wedding what's the vibe a funeral like i'm not yeah i'm not i'm not dancing yeah i'm the guy in the corner talking trash yeah because but i what but i don't see you as a like when i see you on stage i go that's you know i mean that is i guess a part of him but i don't really see you like that so do you feel like that during the day as well because your [ __ ] is so dark yeah i'm not as dark as i am on stage obviously yeah but i also have like just a low tolerance for social [ __ ] you know i mean like i don't want to make small talk with somebody's uncle like i'm just not good at that uh that i'd rather just be standing in the corner by myself yeah then then you know mingling with your family i know you're not very as dark as you come across on stage because i just listened to your last podcast and you were talking about the noid for about the 30 minutes 30 45 yeah talking about what i mean it's the noid you can't just you can't squeeze that into five minutes i didn't grow up here so it was brand new i i just fascinate i'm fascinated by it what's annoying annoyed is what i am listening to talk right now oh annoyed the noid you don't remember the domino's pizza mascot the noid no i'll show you okay what is it show it to me on the screen uh-huh it was like an animated claymation they made a video game out of it it's daredevil he tried to ruin pizzas oh yeah and he was always getting foiled he was like on my podcast i described it as like the the wily coyote and the domino's pizza delivery guy was the roadrunner and he's sort of like a burglar right and was there a video game there was a video game yeah i did not i knew that it existed i'd never played it and then people were like when after the podcast people were telling me explaining what the game was it sounded crazy you pogo sticked everywhere yeah and you threw i think you threw bombs maybe and you had to uh get into pizza eating contest with annoy that was a different color oh so that's the game oh it looks terrible so what they got rid of the noid they got no they got rid of it i mean it's been 30 years maybe but they got rid of it it was around for a couple years there was a guy whose last name was noid and he had mental problems and he thought but with this ad campaign he thought they were making fun of him so he went into a domino's pizza took two hostages and his demands were stopped using the noid as a mascot and i want like a large pizza with everything on it they gave him the pizza he gave up and they stopped using the noid after that and they said it had nothing to do with the situation but it was part of the the it had to work and now they've brought him back did a guy die is that why they brought him back i mean i hope he's dead but i don't know if that had anything to do with yeah yeah yeah yeah your joy tank is a little higher because the noid has returned yeah yeah you like the noid i like i mean i'm dark but i'm it's an absurd darkness that i really enjoy absurdity so when i i was i was right about to film my podcast and i saw the noid was back yeah and i was like let me just talk about this as if it's a huge deal it ended up becoming a running thing throughout the entire time yeah yeah well congratulations on the noid yeah thank you yeah um i i i'm wondering what would come back for me that would be very exciting were you um excited when the mcrib came back no i never had it before i'll never have it but it's like those carnation breakfast bars that one you would so there's a carnation breakfast bar that i grew up with and they stopped making it and people that grew up in my generations which which was the 50s um they're obsessed with it and if that came back that would literally be one meal a day like i would replace that bar with like you know jersey mics or whatever whatever i eat you know i mean i'd be so [ __ ] excited please bring a bad carnation you like korean movies as well love korean movies i'm big you like koreans i like i like my this is my parents met and we're married in korea really yeah on a military base my dad was rotc out of notre dame and went to georgetown law and then went into went to korea as an attorney for the military and my mom's father was a general and she was like 19 when they met and it was one of those things where they dated for a couple years and then he was getting shipped out or something was like get married now or you'll never see each other again and so they got married in korea my dog is from korea was a meat factory rescue really yeah those they actually have people volunteer to take them on the plane and escort them right yeah and i didn't know i wasn't like i want a dog from korea i just i whitney cummings helped me out like put me up with a rescue organization and they gave me pictures and i said this dog is beautiful and then like he'll be here in a month he's in korea i didn't know that was even a thing right it's funny because i i own a meat factory and a dog is missing um so you're obsessed with your dog obsessed with my dog was he um did you grow up with dogs or is this your first go at it there was a dog in the house when i was a kid but it was like my parents took care of it for the most part and the dog liked me i was the oldest of five kids but i was the favorite i think i just like i the first night we got it i like slept next to the crate so we always she always loved me yeah um and then when i went to college she had to be put down so i hadn't had a dog since and i've always wanted one but going on the road i thought i couldn't handle it but with this now i thought i'm going to be in town for years before i can go back on the road again that i really want to dug and the more i found out about these korean dogs they're like insanely loyal they pick one person and that's they're like they're nice to people but they pick one person as like theirs is it a korean village dog uh korean village dog that i thought they said it was a jindo jin i love jinder and this is a just a vil i got the dna test it's a village dog mixed with akita so they were like it's it's 30 pounds six months old it's probably not going to grow much more yeah it's now 65 pounds oh wow because they did not anticipate the occasion to overtake genetically yeah but he's like when i walk him people stop me to ask me about this dog they just they love it so how do you get you so you there's an organization just to ship a puppy on a ship or a plane a plane on a plane they've got the plane come did you meet it at lax i don't know no what usually happens is they bring it on the plane like in some usually you thought the paperwork and it comes like to you you pick it up but since i was going through another organization they were going to pick it up and then they bring it in they let it decompress and i come visit and see if i want to meet the dog but the day the dog arrived was the first day that the black lives matter protest started and the city was under curfew so they're like you've got to just come get this dog and take it you don't get to find out anything about it it's just your dog now oh wow where i live was huge like every day it was protests so i'm like comforting this dog trying to keep it from just like it's chance just all day long you can hear them wow it was like it was my dog right away and we bonded immediately there was no no are there going to be problems like does it bark too much i was like whatever it is i'm going to deal with it yeah so i kind of didn't do the normal you know rescue dog situation i just kind of i just took it on it could there could have been problems uh but i i avoided all of them yeah but did you fall in love with it instantly yes i mean i was like i was so lonely that just i wanted something like to hold on the couch while i read it was on my computer and when i didn't realize about these uh village dogs jindos akitas they are not uh cuddly dogs like they they want their own space they'll let you pet them but like he'll get into bed with me and i'll reach over and kind of pet him and he growls at me he'll never bite me but he's like leave me alone right now oh that i don't get like the cuddliness but i'm not a cuddly person so like all the dog's issues remind me of me you know so i'm like okay i think it makes me love the dog more and i feel like if someone else had the dog they wouldn't treat it right are you really task oriented too because like usually akitas jindos shiba inu's they're very very they're not cuddly but they're very task oriented like they like training and like if i'm doing work around the house it totally leaves me alone and chills out and will watch me but the dog does not consider reading or writing to be working yeah you know so if i'm like sitting there reading a book it's like let's play but if i start doing dishes or sweep the floor then it's like you can do whatever you want so i've trained it as much as i'm going to i think and now it's just you know bonding oh so um let's talk about reading books you read books big big reader right so um i because i i don't think i've ever read a book correct this is why you're afraid of him is that what you think that is yeah because we see you we're so silly and stupid and you seem very like elevated and put together mm-hmm yeah yeah and we're coming apart at the teams yeah so that's really just you call it what it is like we're afraid of him because i'm not afraid of anybody whoa let's let's put this out we're dummies i'm not dumb we're dummies we're dumb but let me just say something okay i ain't afraid of you jack i like you there's a partition between us [Laughter] hey guys we're going to take a really quick break to share some of our favorite sponsors brooklyn and for your soul you guys um you know i'm the [ __ ] king and i only use think great things on my body i love great socks and different things but the most especially um when i sleep i want good sheets and good comforter is it spring again or summer what time is it either way it may be time for a change especially around the house so how about a change that makes you super comfortable and 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purchase of one hundred dollars that's brooklyn.com promo code tiger hello to shitashi you guys i used to have the rank rank as [ __ ] in l.a i was ranked number two with the jeremy number one two i had the worst [ __ ] because dude i rarely wiped what i rarely wiped i'll be honest with you ladies and gentlemen it's time to clean unlike bobby it's time well now a new bobby but what changed me was hello tissue bidet i installed it in my house i could i did it myself okay i don't even use toilet paper anymore all right i only use the hello tushy it's so precise this stream hello tushy's brand new 3.0 modern bidet attachment is here to get your ass ready it's stylish eco-friendly easy to install and even saves you cheap ass money yup hello tissue 3.0 doesn't just clean your bum bum with a precise stream of fresh water it cleans itself too with a smart spray automatic nozzle yeah tell us more about it guild yeah go to hellotushy.com tiger belly to get 10 off plus free shipping this is a special offer for tiger bell listeners go to hellotushy.com tiger belly for 10 off and free shipping that's hellotushy.com tiger belly enjoy the rest of the show but um i'm just fascinated because um i've okay look at listen you know i grew up in la jolla next to that bookstore and i used to go there right right so and you know that's where i met hunter has thompson right you carried books around you never read so i met henry and then um also allen ginsberg would hang out there and i was a kid and i only i knew these guys right and then the dentist the bookstore owner would give me books you got to read this so like the invisible man or whatever it might be and i would read the prologue is that the prologue the beginning is the prologue the beginning or the end you have two choices epilogue or prologue epilogue epilogue's the end i would think that epilonga's last not every book has a prologue okay but this specific one did are you talking about like the the contents yeah like the table of contents like the about the author section yeah yeah forward whatever that means that's for it yeah it's a form it's a forward yeah you read the first page i read the first couple of pages thank you the dedication page or just the publisher it'll say like you know i mean published by with whittinghouse or whatever yeah i mean it'll say some date i'll read that part that's really all you need yeah and then i'll get into it right and um is it because let me just ask this what is the question i should be holding a gavel i'm judging you so i know i hard feel it i can feel it right is it because i don't have because i know how to read obviously right is it because either i'm i don't think it's obvious bobby i believe you i have an imagination right i have an imagination and i just feel like that i could do it is it because i'm 80d yeah it's exactly you have adult 80d that thank you you also have a learning disability which is what i mean i know you've been diagnosed with adult add i just think that you mix up words a lot then you do you have dyslexia i think you have dyslexia there we go that's why but again i'm not a doctor i don't remember this it's my observation what a revelation i heard something once it was like if you read a book a good book you do the work for the first hundred pages and the book takes over and i believe that's true like i'll give up a book after 100 pages if i'm not into it but you really have to kind of be like this might not be that fun i don't know who these people are yeah like if you watch like game of thrones for the first like half the season you have no idea what the [ __ ] is going on yeah yeah but if you stick with it eventually you get it maybe you go back and watch those first six episodes again did you watch game of thrones i did okay good did you like it loved it and then just like everybody else the ending made me like i was like this sucks so hard that it ruined the entire series for me yeah but you know just let me just add this though it's the pressure i mean when you have a cultural show like that that's a phenomenon right and the globe is watching it right i can't imagine being in the writers room whatever and just trying to figure out because you have so many different voices as well i'm sure hbo had maybe maybe they don't give notes probably because the show's so big and that they respect the showrunners but you would have to think that there's just like months of people just together on a board trying to figure this out and people arguing about certain things right because it's not like there's one guy like you know aaron sorkin that's going you know my word this is it this is the final this is it right i'm sure there's voices in there so i think it's it was inevitable that it was going to be bad i mean it was inevitable that would be a kind of a let down considering everything that had been going on i mean endings are extremely tough to to pull off but this was i mean it was almost a slap in the face they just kind of like let's just get this over with all right that that i think upset people yeah here's another thing the problem is is um there it's like i'm not i'm not comparing it to the show lost but the show lost had they would ever every season they would bring up these new things right like the polar bear or some wind or whatever it might be the [ __ ] and um there was just you just knew as a viewer oh they're not going to be able to explain half of this [ __ ] well when you when the whole thing is like there's going to be a twist we're going to explain it in the end and when people figure it out when everyone's like it's purgatory they're in purgatory right and they're like no no and at the end like they're all sitting in a church together you're like this is [ __ ] purgatory like you guys you guys lied to us yeah when you if you mess up a twist like that it's really uh it really ruins everything yeah it does but the voyage but how about this what about is an analogy where you mean like they say you know um it's about the journey not the end i like to say when it comes to game of thrones i'll remember the red wedding i'll remember you know the mountain versus the viper i'll remember those things that i loved about it but i would not go back and watch battle of the bastards oh what i just rewatched hard home do you remember heart home no heart home was when jon snow was up there with the wildlings right and he's in some fishing village or whatever and they have all the dragonglass and stuff right the giants there right and they're trying to get all the wildlings under these little boats right that was great and all of a sudden on the cliffs right they show the guys and then they're falling what a [ __ ] episode i remember i was at some i was at like a party like a friend's house was like 10 people and everyone's getting ready to leave and they're like actually we heard tonight's episode of game of thrones supposed to be awesome do you want to watch it and we got stoned and for the next like hour and a half we were just like completely zoned in blown away that was maybe one of the best yeah uh experiences of the of the show yeah even with with with you and your family mm-hmm we would on sundays get together and when we went on a family vacation we all crammed into one room yeah and we were screaming remember that oh yeah yeah and now i remember going out on the balcony of the hotel and just like you know i mean ponder pondering about it and analyze with my cigarette you know how i do i look out in the sky and i just i'll just sometimes i'll go wow you know to myself you know what i mean what a great show man and there's not a there's there i think there's not another show like that right now where it's a cultural where everybody watches it yeah that was i mean that was the big part of the community that you had to watch it even though everything's on demand and streaming now you had to watch it right away because there were articles published immediately you wanted to read and see things you had to talk about it yeah that's that's missing also twitter too twitter was crazy you couldn't turn on twitter you know i mean there's just no way but what i just i wow what a [ __ ] i miss it and also you and you i you also understood why what's the jon snow's real name uh he's a targaryen no no he the actor oh oh um did you get the actors on the [ __ ] target harrington kid kid yeah when he you know when we got really depressed when the show was over yeah you could understand why as an actor i would never want to would you ever want to be on a show like that a show like that yes but i understand like i understand how tough it would be like i've talked to people who have acted like i had friends who were in that movie um the king kong one the the new one yeah yeah skull island yeah and then like we were just [ __ ] stuck in vietnam for like a year and a half and the movie's the movie's two hours long it's like why do we have to be there that long that that would drive me crazy yeah you know wearing a backpack and and and pretending to be a military guy would drive me nuts well i have two lines and i leave for hungary next week for six weeks i have two lines [Laughter] and i go how many days are sitting maybe one or two i go i gotta be there for six weeks yeah you know for two and then um and then the whole time i know me i'm gonna be thinking about those two lines yeah i'd just be laying in bed just saying the lines over and over again and then when i when it's actually go time it's going to be completely gone i know um i was i don't act that much yeah like if someone asks me like here's an offer come do this part i'm always it's fun it's fun to kind of like do something different yeah but i hate auditioning but i got a part on marin when i'm playing myself and my call time was like six in the morning yeah but they wouldn't get me to set until like like five o'clock in the uh at night i hate when they and by that point i was so pissed that it comes through my performance the director be like anthony you're supposed to be flirting with this girl right now and i'm like uh-huh and they're like you look like you want to kill her i was like yeah i've been in my trailer too long like and but that's part of acting is getting past all of that yeah that that i just i can't do it as a stand-up you're so used to the immediacy that like if the show is at eight o'clock maybe you start at 8 15 but you know when that's going to be over you know well not for you the other night with leslie no i just left what happened i mean i i don't want to st there's no we're not stirring we're not listening and i don't we're not stirring it with this we're not that kind of podcast friend listen it's got nothing to do with the person it's like i don't let anyone you see me at the store if somebody walks in to be a special guest it's like you can go after me or i'm gonna leave like i've always been that way yeah uh it's not like i'm a big time thing but uh but i i don't i don't like getting bumped and they were the problem was i i'm out of practice and this is my first night back after over a year usually you hadn't gone up at all at all yeah usually they would have been like hey they're coming in i'd be like okay listen this is important to me i'm gonna go first and then they can do whatever but they're like they're gonna do five to ten and when they went way past that i realized this is i should have said something earlier and now i'm just going to go yeah i'm just going to take off i'm not going to confront anybody but i'm not going to be part of the show anymore and uh and left well i think that i mean the problem with i hate to bring this name up but in the 90s carlos mencia is because he bumped so much every night he would do it three or four hours and he would he would pump at like 9 45 oh wow and then get off the stage at 11 30. and he did it to punish other comedians like he thought this is my time now it wasn't like he had to work on something right you know if chris rock is working on his oscar speech like yeah come on and do as much as you want that's fine yeah yeah but he would also ask you know he'd be like hey is it cool if i didn't of course it's cool it's an honor yeah but some people just want to do it to uh to big time people you know mancia was like that dane cook was like that like i used to do studios at the improv where it's my show you know i'm headlining the show yeah there's three comics and then me and comics would come in just to mess with people that i would stand by those double doors and if someone tried to come in and do any time at all i would stop them right there yeah no one ever did it but i was like that was the fear because you wouldn't get embarrassed like if they come in and do half an hour the crowd's excited but then you come on to headline you get 10 minutes at the end and i was never going to let that happen yeah yeah yeah yeah i call it out because it's like like dane did it to me at one of schuyler stone's shows it was dane went up for 45 and then elijah schlesinger right was supposed to do 15 minutes but she was so mad that dane did 45 that she did 45 right and they had to turn over the room so when eliza got off stage i had three minutes did you go up i did oh my god i did go up but the way the reason why i went up i didn't do any jokes would you i just said i just explained to the crowd what happened and how disrespectful it was oh yeah i mean uh because i get i like you get i i find it it infuriates me mm-hmm beyond belief and i can understand when chappelle there's certain guys i understand chappelle obviously right um even bill burr i love him he's respectful for the time yes i uh completely allow it right but then there are people with um i'm not going to say any names but people that um the problem here's the problem with um stand-up is you know the best comics don't necessarily make it in terms of name recognition of course right it's a it's a lottery right you could be a mid-level to a beginning comic and then land a movie or a tv show or whatnot and then become become a name yeah you're famous for not for comedy but people want to see you on stage right they love you so much right so then but they when they do it it just kind of irks me yeah i just call that [ __ ] out because i don't know is that bad for me to do it should i just hold it in no i think like i i see a therapist and i've learned now like what's going to make me mad you know what i mean because you're you're you don't want to you don't want to have conflict but if by avoiding conflict i'm going to be thinking about this for three months and talking to my therapist then we're going to have conflict right because i know what i'm going to be like after this so yeah i'll call [ __ ] out i'm happy to say no and i figured out ways to do it you know ways to say no that isn't like insanely rude but i take care of myself first um you know so if i was let's just listen let's suppose like i was like a bigger name hopefully god willing i will be and um i and i i i pumped you right at the at the uh comedy store right and i did i said i was gonna do 15 minutes but i did 40. right with the kind of relationship you want to have i and i have right now would you say something to me afterwards i would be gone by the time you got off stage yeah the next time we saw each other i'd i mean we would it would be a conversation but i also like i just understand why people do these things sometimes you are running time so it's like bobby's about to do a special tomorrow he wanted to come in uh but like i have a friend like nick kroll nick roll's a good friend of mine i love nick and he would be we'd be on the same lineup where he was like special drop in and they just kept putting him right in front of me so i was getting bumped by nick every week and i was like nick you got to stop put in for if you want to put your spot in and you're right before me that's fine or you can go after me but every time i'm like i'm ready to go on like you know nick's here he's going up next i was like this can't i can't deal with this i can't have it but at the store chris rock will come in and they'll be like anthony's on next you can go before him and i'm like i'm going to watch anthony and i'm like so when someone like chris rock says that then i feel like no one can really bump me you know that i i truly do not allow myself to be bumped and i forget and with with the with the situation a week or so ago i just forgot that like i forgot what it was like and they said five to ten and i was like okay and when i realized that wasn't what was happening that uh and it was almost personal then i got i got upset and said i'm just i'm i'm taken off but you two are friends as it is or no no but not not enemies like we the people like there's a beef there's no beef we've been in the same room three times ever in your life yeah yeah yeah um do you have a problem do people give you bad intros the bad intros i get are like like and this is me taking things personally i take comedy very seriously where someone will just be like you've seen him on david letterman and i haven't been on letterman i walk on stage pissed off or trying to make a joke like don't ever make a joke during my intro i remember doug benson once was opening for me and like at like the some like a big theater show in l.a yeah and he asked to open he was like can i you can i do this i used to open for him so it'll be an honor yeah and he go this was back in 2013 when i had the show the justin the defensive and he goes uh you know this guy's got a tv show with his name in the title here's anthony offensive and then i'm like so i've been like walk on stage for like no applause that i was like you just [ __ ] this whole time and like i didn't like that and i mean i let him i wasn't mad but i'm like that's a bad intro but people don't usually give me too much guff yes because i make fun of everyone i follow if everyone after you at the store i'm going to spend my first minute i've seen it i know you've done it to whoever yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah there's no one who's too big for me to do because it's just like how i do business yeah so i don't i don't take that person but do it after like i wouldn't mess with someone before they're set right no i totally get it yeah yeah the guy used to emcee a lot when i first uh started doing comedy in la because it was the best way to get spots nobody wanted to be the emcee nobody wanted to go first so i'm like i'll do those and they had to stop letting me do it because i would make fun of everyone after their set and they hated it oh they did it oh yeah comics are sensitive bobby because i remember like because i remember you just one day it was almost as if with you it's like because i've always been at the store since 1997 as a doorman and whatnot so i've just been this guy this little guy hanging out there right and then all of a sudden right you know you would hear about anthony right and then once you you saw anthony perform it was just a clear cut of what he was you mean what the style was and i've always wanted to ask you this do you do you have the when you're writing just let me just say this because you're really good at switches do you have the punch line first and then you do the setup around it how do you do it there there is no formula like dan mintz once said i don't know if you know dan mentz is one of the greatest joke writers ever uh he was always saying if you think you found a formula you just found a formula to write bad jokes so sometimes i do come up with a punchline first and i work backwards usually it's like here's the situation what are the different ways it can go that kind of makes sense you know that makes sense and still is a twist but i write if i write a hundred jokes five of those make it into my act like it really is a numbers game for me yeah uh to just just you know hit on a subject over and over again but there is no like it's got to be like this because i have seen you go up and then like you have a list of new jokes right and then some of them don't work and it's like for me my fear as i have to admit is you know i'm probably even worse i think i'm one out of every 50. in terms of she gives me the [ __ ] that i write right well you've only written 50 jokes in your entire life but uh yeah so i'm like so i have to like eat it a lot you know what i mean if i can get something new right i'm just i don't know why i'm just not one like i've seen comics go up there and they're 50 50. inches of new [ __ ] right how do you and i'm asking you this because i want you to help me right um because i'm now i'm not gonna go up on stage until i have a completely different i'm writing new jokes i'm not doing anything in the past anymore finally so would you i heard but when you when you try new stuff and it doesn't work how do you you just know that that's the part of the process it doesn't hurt you it doesn't hurt me because i'm holding a piece of paper they know i'm trying out new jokes yeah yeah you know and there was like milton berle was a great comic his jokes all [ __ ] sucked but he was great at reacting to the jokes not doing well and that's part of it that like me crossing off a joke that didn't work and like laughing at how bad it was yeah yeah when i'm trying out jokes a lot of times when it's halfway out of my mouth before the crowd even hears the end i know this is not going to work all right and there's some that are just too silly for me but i want to try it anyway because i wrote it yeah but they enjoyed that process so it's different if i don't have the paper anymore like if i'm if i go up to the store and i'm like i'm trying out new jokes i got 30 new jokes i'll walk out and think i got 15 new jokes and then i put the paper down and i tell the jokes just as if it's just my act and i've got three new jokes you know that piece of paper gives you a lot of grace and it just makes the act it kind of makes the act uh three-dimensional if you will but do you do that on the road if i have something brand new like i'll get 40 i'll get like 40 45 minutes and then i go to clubs and i'm trying to build that into an hour so if i have new jokes i've written that week i might throw them down and people love to hear you know jokes for the first time so they enjoy that that aspect of it and again i'm not doing a five minute joke it's like this is a 30-second thing it either works or it doesn't right and so they like it even if it's bad they're like they they enjoy that they got to hear it yeah like the joke that you do about like you know going to the abortion center right and then i think there's a i for how it goes but basically there was a bunch of kids there and they were all ghosts [Laughter] which is such a great right and i when you're whenever you bring up that that bit right because there's a bunch of jokes on that bit right i get excited because um i want to see what the audience is going to react right and especially doing that ghost thing right is that sometimes you'll see like out of towners or you know i mean and it's almost as if like you'll get a groan more than a laugh right do you still revel in that oh yeah i mean i want both if it's just one big groan that's not enough if it's 50 50 i'm in heaven uh because not everyone people just have like a visceral reaction silence is the killer you know i'd rather a boo than a silence but i enjoy i mean that that abortion bit that a lot of that can i had a couple jokes and this is like based on kind of a true story that i that i fictionalized but i would be driving to the store and i would think of a new thing to add you know almost every time i was driving so i was excited about that story yeah so i would just be filtering in these jokes until it got to the point where i couldn't make it any bigger yeah it had to be just like that yeah but i i enjoy i enjoy surprising people you know i really had a lot of fun my first few years in comedy when people did not know what they were what they were getting and they were like what is happening and now they know it's going to be short dark jokes they kind of the jokes almost play better because they know my persona i can say things that other people cannot say yeah because they're like they're ready for it and sometimes the twist is that you think it's going to be dark and it's light and absurd yeah yeah it goes the other way yeah wow so that's what i'm going to do i think it's fun to go up there with nothing like i don't after a special i don't bring back some of the jokes and then go into the new stuff i've got all new jokes because the humiliation is so motivating if you go up with any old stuff you're gonna fall back on it if you have no plan b you have to eat it with that and that makes you go home and work on the jokes that makes you write all your stuff that's here that's okay so that's my plan buddy so check it out all right babe listen to me this is my new plan don't do this when you do this i get excited when i i know but when you do this though it's like you're let me do this yeah do this okay yeah yeah um so this is my new plan guys um because like i've been kind of going to store just watching and hanging out a little bit you know what i mean and it's like you know and i see guys that i like i'm sorry but they're guys that i know that i'm better than they're just comfortably going up there right and i'm having this fear i haven't gone up at all i have a fear of it i told you this the other day i'm scared of it because i want to do new [ __ ] but like you know i've always been a kind of comic and i have to admit this that just never really wrote and just did relied on the same material right and i think that's what i'm going to do i'm going to go and be a man and just eat it you've got i mean the humiliation is there's no better motivator there's no better motivator have you seen you've seen the movie comedian right the jerry seinfeld documentary like that was the most inspiring thing i've ever seen in my life i consider the day that movie was released in theaters and i saw it that day to be the day i started doing stand-up even though my first time on stage was three or four months before because that really watching him do that i was like okay if he can do this i can do this just in terms of like being that big and embarrassing yourself with having no material yeah watching it build but i love that that that journey from having nothing like i keep trying to talk about my dog and i i'm trying to find that balance between just like telling someone about your dog at a party and being on stage and having actual jokes that it is it's very tough to do but i just have to keep on trying it and failing and thinking of new ways in but if i just if i just like thought about it and wrote it down it wouldn't work you really need that that and i keep using the word humiliation but it is humiliating it is painful yeah you know what you just inspired me you know i was also thinking what are the chances of you you and i becoming better friends percentage-wise listen this is as good as it's going to get no no let me just let me try to pitch myself let me pitch myself okay to you i have a feeling right my better friend what do you mean no here's check it out like you'll actually text somebody back or yeah no here's number one right i would love and you know when ellie opens up a little bit more that i would love to call anthony and go hey man you want to go to choson yeah which is one of my favorite korean restaurants right would you do that yes i'm i'm a big i'm a big meal friend i love to have dinner with people right but it's like dinner's over and now what now i'm going home like me too i'm not gonna [ __ ] do anything after that yeah we don't need to make a night of this no we're not gonna i love it i love a plan with like an end date you know what i mean yeah you wanna you wanna see a movie let's see a movie we can talk about the movie for a minute and then gone i'm not like an all-nighter no no me either i i would never do that i probably will never go to your house okay now just let me ask you something all right but but how about this if i called in at the store and like you're up at 9 30 i'm up at 9 15 or vice versa right and then i go huh i'm gonna text anthony hey you want to get korean food this is even you know i mean throwing this out there it makes me at seven right i'm gonna do that and you wouldn't feel uncomfortable about that i'm very comfortable saying no i know you're like but no i would i would do that i'm not a big meal before the show i'm a big meal after the show guy god you know what i mean when you can like relax but i'm like looking at my set list thinking about stuff but if we were back to back on a show yeah i would i would grab food with you okay how about this then i'm gonna propose another idea give us all the scenarios you want i am i am so what about this scenario right a new korean movie is coming out right and they're playing into the arc life right got great reviews right and it says it's it's much like you know it's old boy part two but it's not you know what i mean would you go see it with me yes not only that i would suggest we don't go to arklay i mean arclight has been closed but i i once went to i saw a train to busan in koreatown at a korean theater where they play american movies with korean subtitles of korean dub but then they have korean movies with english subtitles yeah and i love that because you get to see like korean uh like the food in korean movie theaters is different than an american movie what do they have they have like flavored popcorn that they wouldn't have like beef jerky is a big thing like they don't have the nor they have some of the normal candy but they just have different things that i just i think that's fascinating yeah and i would be like let's go let's go see it there let's go do that oh yeah i'll do that first i'm a big i'm always down to go see a movie i'm always down to go have dinner but if it's like let's go out drinking all night like no thank you no i i'm an a.a so i wouldn't do that and also on top of it i'm just testing out the waters here pal because i'm gonna try to do this okay because you know he too is in therapy and it turns out it's difficult he he avoids um in intimate relationships with people at all costs i don't avoid i just like to be alone i'll enjoy my alone time that that i've that i value it that i i'm happy to have a social interaction and hang out but then it's like i want to go home and read i want to go home and spend time with my dog that i don't want to be with someone all night long and i have friends who are like well now what are we doing like we did this now what's next yeah nothing is next and not only that but it's going to make me want to say no next time you want to hang out oh yeah you know if you make it easy then it's like okay i know it's just boundaries it'll be meat and potatoes with you and i how about this i want to propose one last thing to you okay if kalila and i just hear me out if kaleila and i get married okay we've been together eight years not an engagement in sight so don't worry it's gonna be a long time from now yeah i wasn't worried about that you know that pisses me off guys you have no idea what i'm working on all right so let's just throw that out there okay and number two go [ __ ] yourselves all right but no nobody wearing a tank top has an engagement ring in their pocket [Laughter] come on man so um if uh on uh hey guys we're gonna take a really quick break to share some of our favorite sponsors sweet lover boy what interferes with your happiness oh i'll tell you nothing now because you know why why i have therapy through better help in your face 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uh her husband cj and i went to that i went out to palm springs and was there no went solo who's making it the girl who hates you oh that's right because you told her to know you opened for her in san antonio no she opened for me yeah yes in chicago and you gave her a hard time about oh that's who megan gailey i wish i hadn't brought up here [Music] and you're in the wrong for that all right fine but let me defend myself okay all right i'm sure she's a nice woman and you're friends with her love her to death like it's like a sister and i've heard the story what's the story what's the story i what it sounds to me and i'll be played as i can be you were having a tough time that weekend just being on the road i don't know if you were lonely or like what weren't enjoying the shows and kind of took it out on the green room no and that's not part of it no that's not what it was this is a very vague i don't know the details she told me the story and it's not like something she she uh he talks about a lot it was just i think we were in the same old place and she she brought it up but you you gave her a hard time okay all i did all right sorry i can't defend you with this i'm not i'm not defending myself i want to apologize to megan galey yeah can i do that mm-hmm all right i'm just gonna tell you my point of view though real quick okay we already we already talked about that too and your point of view really is not a good one either but go ahead we can try we can try remix it okay we'll remix so just just just to throw it out there before you even start megan gailey consummate professional i cannot imagine a world in which she was in the wrong here but go ahead it's a tough one man you got to get out of that yeah all right so number one i was having a great time i was having a great time um great numbers at the club it's a huge club right and also i wasn't lonely because jade cataprida was my future all right so she's a friend of mine so um one night megan gailey um dressed in a ballroom gown as an emcee and i just look at this look and i'm waiting i'm waiting for the part that that you think she's at fault for exactly right you didn't like the way she was dressed you're emcee yeah you know what let's back up for a second i'm in the wrong we've already told you i'm in the wrong i'm in the wrong i'm in the wrong and what i shouldn't have done is what i did and i feel bad about it and um i just found it was a weird energy her going up with a ballroom gown yeah but bobby no one makes a fuss out of what you wear and sometimes you wear construction gear too i'm the headliner i think the biggest it's my show you might be having a bad time you've been on the road a long time you just start to get you like the gravity becomes heavier and you're just not yourself you know it's like you you're starting to be a jerk and you're like why am i being a jerk right now you're like oh i haven't eaten all day you know it's like one of those degrees i've been traveling too much like i've been staying that's what it is i'm in a bad mood now probably didn't have sugar-free red bull yeah something all right here's what i hear people around here's what i want and see if you can pull this off george okay and i am going to um can you invite her to do our podcast okay good [ __ ] luck oh you don't think i can i think you can invite her okay i want to apologize to her right i'm gonna buy her gifts here this is why it's already not gonna work why why don't without it you turning it into a show apologize to someone genuinely and in private oh man that's the thing with comics now is they're like let's talk it out on the air and it's like no if you wanna if you gotta if we've got a problem we can talk it out as people okay can you find me her email well you can just find her on instagram that's an easy one dm are saying look i'll direct message her on instagram all right because i'm not we're not following each other so it's going to go to her other group of groupings and she's not going to read it because i did that with uh a bunch of guys right they don't read it uh-huh that's correct right so it's like should i just give it a go on instagram just give it a go also you have friends that know her santino knows her they're friends anthony knows her yeah i think she had a negative experience with you and it was a small one but so it's not like the end of the world like there have been people that i'm like that guy's a [ __ ] dick he's like no he's normally cool and then you get to know them you're like oh i just had i i met them on a bad day that i don't know what was going on in their life maybe i was in a bad mood yeah so it's like you can give people second chances you hear a reputation you meet them you're like oh you're different than that you know that's my that's my you know what that's my lifelong goal and i'm not gonna do it on air right this i'm not gonna do it on air and and i am in the wrong i just really feel that and i feel bad about it and i um you know here's another thing is i have little fires everywhere uh-huh me too i have little fires everywhere and i think that i think this next year i'm gonna put those fires out but they're like i've gotten fights with mcs before you know i'm in a club but the mc does something that i don't like i had an emcee once megan was my feature and the mc tweeted like ever been in the green room and had no one talk to you not fun and like i found out after the weekend that i was like i would have fired her that second and i'll never see this girl again so who gives a [ __ ] yeah but sometimes you like i'll never see them again who cares we had a bad interaction but then they keep going and you're like okay now we're in the same we're in the same universe and i should fix this you know i've thought about it differently yeah i've seen you as a different person yeah but i'm i'm totally all for having a bad experience and writing someone off forever i will cut the court yeah yeah i think in megan galey's case um that i i was in the wrong and i know it i was in a mood i'll tell you what was going on in my life all right you weren't doing well i wasn't doing well in my career um i was desperate all i had was the road and that was the only thing that was making me money i didn't have any real podcasts no podcasts at the time i had nothing going on you know and now i was living in the apartment too right yeah yeah and and this was before i met you oh it's before i met her even so i was in a real then that was in a real bad state desperate you know and i um since i met you my life has completely changed 180 and you know things are great are you talking to me or her just in general okay megan or anthony so yeah i'm talking to megan right now right and so um i'm just talking to myself i'm just i'm thinking out loud right now what we've been doing talking about megan gailey is more than megan gailey has thought about this in her entire life that's true that's right like she does not think about this like she would be i'm sure she would accept your apology and be like okay if you want to talk but like she this is not something that she like falls asleep thinking about she ran into an [ __ ] you ever heard that hear that phrase if you if you wake up one day you run into an [ __ ] in the morning that hurts you ran into an [ __ ] yeah you run into [ __ ] all day you're the [ __ ] guess which one to use the [ __ ] i'm the [ __ ] but um you're right i was an [ __ ] uh-huh all right but it's okay to be not you you're allowed to slip up and be an [ __ ] like i've just been under a lot of pressure on the road and like when i snap at somebody backstage i'm like that's not normally not what i'm like and if i can apologize sure if i never see them again that's okay too give give yourself permission to slip up every now and again but yeah you can make it right make it right no but if but but to be honest with you if i was in the wrong i have to make amends because you know i'll be honest another honest thing is that i've only heard great things about her on stage and office day that she's a sweet girl she's friends with so many people that i know and um i've been trying for years to get people off my side this was this is the last stop yeah this is the last stop and i just realized that um i'm 100 in the wrong you know what i mean and my ego got in the way and i was an [ __ ] and i was in a bad place in my career and i was acting out and i was treating people like [ __ ] because i was like feeling [ __ ] about myself and i would never do that today ever right i'm just so different you really got it together now i feel it thank you and um you know honestly i feel like i feel now like i did when i start like in the beginning of when i in 2000 when i was getting [ __ ] and i was you know getting the tonight show all these things and then i spent 15 years with nothing and then i feel now reinvented again and i think that that's what's great about stand-up is that we can there's always a shot of staying in it you can focus on stand-ups like these other these tv things they'll come they'll go whatever but you can you have stand up you can control you're you're the master of your own destiny i believe is the phrase with stand up that you can just keep on controlling that that is it's better than i couldn't imagine being an actor and having to wait for that phone to ring you know that would be brutal we're an actor trying to write their own [ __ ] like get out of my face yeah you can you can be proactive that's the reason i chose it yeah it also we can even if it gets to a point where let's suppose because you and i i'm you're obviously doing theaters and stuff but like you know it's we do still play the same clubs you know what i mean in their a rooms you know what i mean thank you very much but they are a rooms and it's like there is there's a life even outside of a rooms oh yeah there's so many gigs so many different towns that we can do it at that it's almost impossible to get fire if you're good right and you can do 45 minutes and you're original and entertaining right that you could survive endless endless endlessly i mean i think even if you can be good and still fail you've got to be able to sell tickets this is show business why that that even like the funniest person in the lineup isn't always the one that like i used to open for people sometimes when i was a feature act where i would like blow them off the stage and afterwards i'm like everyone's going to come out and want to meet me and take a picture with me no one gave a [ __ ] they wanted to go talk to the headliner they bought the ticket to go you can be bad if you sell tickets it's okay yeah and i have we talked about carl about you did you know carl lebeau i know that name i it doesn't ring a bell right now carla beau died a couple weeks ago and i just have to say that i haven't talked about have we talked about him no yeah so you know when you knew sam kinnison mm-hmm sam when ken sam kinnison died he what penis and lebeau on the same day lebeau okay yeah i saw that's how i saw the picture yeah i'm sure i met him so carla beau was sam kinnison's best friend right carla beau was when sam kinnison blew up was obviously um sam's opening act right carla beau is just one of the funniest physical comics i've ever seen you know even at that age at in the 60s right he was still like very energetic and physical and voices and stuff he's just fun to watch and he never made it and he um he held sam's body when sam died okay i've heard the story yeah after the accident yeah holding on to him hold on hold on and then you know carl raised his daughter and then in later in life in his twenties carl um found out that sam was the father wow right wow yeah so um so imagine that life so he he lost his best friend raising his daughter never really i tried to get him a showcase at gur when i was with gersh at one point i brought gersh agents to see carl because he couldn't get any reps and they wouldn't sign them so you know i i love that guy and then um then he found out that his best friend had was the one that you know knocked up his wife knocked out his wife and um then there was that whole legal matter of like you know do i pay child support whatever it might be and then he gets cancer and he just died two weeks ago and it's just um you know anyone you know go on youtube look him up he's a very good stand-up and it's just heartbreaking because he was one of those guys where when i was a young guy and he was living in los feliz and i had nothing going on in my career and he was he'd go come over let me make you a meal like this guy and i would show up and him and his at the time girlfriend would make me a pasta dish and would just sit there in a candle on his porch it just just because he was he thought i was funny you know i mean and he's it's just as a young guy you need you know i mean some that kind of um relationship like a mentor a mentor right yeah and you realize oh because you know how dark the story is you know my times you know especially back in the day it was so cutthroat and awful um anyway rest and play peace carla you know that reminds me last night i've i've been in the comedy store twice since it opened back up i did the main room that first night which was great it was like just so grateful to be back and then last night i was in the or and i'm like dreading it because of jeff scott passing that i loved jeff scott and i was i mean if it hadn't been during the pandemic when everything was awful like it would have been way it would have hit me harder but i'm like am i gonna be able to get through 15 minutes on stage because i would look he would i would hear his laugh he would play the piano after some of my jokes you know kind of thing like he would mess with me we would talk backstage then i'm like am i going to be able to get through 15 am i going to start to tear up i'm going to have to be guys i'm sorry i can't do this and i get in there and there is a neon sign now that says jeff's got behind the piano yeah that's up there and like a lot it's like eliza uh maz gibrani and then me and eliza at the end of her set is like see that sign over there that's that's uh that's jeff scott he was the piano player he passed away recently we all loved him his family the audience was like okay i went on stage and i must have made 25 jeff scott jokes like i couldn't help myself but like try like just make fun of and i'm sure he would have laughed at all of them yeah it went from like am i going to am i going to get too emotional yeah oh my god yeah i hope no one's recording this because i just like i couldn't help it yeah he um that was another devastating one because you know he was there when i started he was just he was like he was like a part of the furniture he was always there and loved his job like was never in a bad mood he was never like stay out of jeff's way tonight like he was always just psyched and loved everybody and everything and was always great to talk to he was he was more the store than i would even say some of the siblings of of mitzi you know i mean like he was always there he it was almost as if like the building you know i mean put him out that's how he was born like he was always supposed to be there so this is the kind of magical guy you know and um i don't even know how he died heart attack i think yeah and then there was a yeah yeah yeah the death that really affected me in comedy was brodie stevens i think it changed me as a person because like it just made me want to be more kind because i was always like the way that i i give you a hard time a lot like i'm always joking around with you yeah like i did that with brody and i tried to do with respect because i knew that he was very sensitive yeah but after he died it just made me wish that i had been even nicer to him and i employed brody a lot like and i was i always take time to talk to him and let him just like that stream of consciousness thought he would give i would stand there and take it but it just made me want to be a kinder person in general and this is coming from someone who's like very roasty and always has the insult ready yeah uh it it it's made me i i think it's made me a nicer person he was that was the most devastating i mean remember the day you remember the day i mean it was i mean i it because you know he's done our podcast yeah he's i love him i'm the one that brought him to the comedy store back in the day um you know that a lot of people know this but brody was very much an animal whisperer like i remember when he came over um the house we had um a foster dog that had just been like really aggressive and really didn't take to men a lot and brody just came in the house picked up the dog the dog fell asleep on his lap and that was the first time we ever saw that dog like actually like snuggle up next to someone and i wanted to cry it's like he just had so much comfort on his lap i was like oh he's a different magical being that yeah you know i would believe it i got an eight one eight tattoo after after brody's passing did you really yeah where it's like a very small on like the the back of my arm uh it like he because he was around when i became when i was started doing this so like he was the guy who was like from open i would see him at open mics and then just kept on seeing him throughout that he was always a part of comedy for me yeah and just watched his ups and downs that uh i can't i it's hard to imagine like los angeles comedy without him yeah it's [ __ ] devastating man mm-hmm especially like like that someone gets hit by a truck i can make a joke heart attack you had a good life but uh you go out by your own hand and it's it it truly crushes me and i think you know there's many thoughts that you know it could have been prevented maybe even you know what i mean i i mean i there's i understand thinking that way but i also think he lived very long for how [ __ ] crazy he was you know that's a good point yeah that is [ __ ] true i mean that whole starbucks event remember oh god and all that yeah yeah yeah so at the end anthony at the end of our podcast we do a thing called unhelpful advice and people email us like um you know problems and questions and stuff and do your best to answer you don't have to if you don't want to you think i can't handle this uh before before you think this is a curveball on a podcast you could do that you were emailing oh [ __ ] uh before we get to that we do have two uh patreon questions for anthony the first one is from emmanuel leon any good patrice o'neill stories you know i only really met patrice the one time when we did the roast together we didn't really talk beforehand uh you know we saw each other on stage he kind of helped me out like i told a joke that like totally bombed but he laughed so hard that they left it in the thing and i made fun of him because i didn't realize what was happening like mike tyson was heckling so much that i was like kept ready to be like when do i tell mike tyson shut the [ __ ] up patrice like gave me like a joke he was like i told this joke and he goes there's too many white people to get that joke yeah and i said just just being ready for like a heckle i go you know what no one ever says is too few black people and matrices like what i just [ __ ] helped you and then after the roast patrice was still like in that like zone again that like just like it's just over and we uh got back to the hotel at the same time and just talked like walked through the lobby into the elevator and he was not complaining but he was just he didn't like the roast he didn't like that like why did this have to be so mean and all this stuff that we just talked for like a few minutes and then he got out of the elevator and he was like i was a couple floors above him and i was like you know i can get i don't know this guy i know he's a legend i could sit i can sit and talk to him all night but i'm also tired i've had a few mini drinks like i'm just gonna go to bed the elevator door was closed and then he was gone a few months later that i wished i'd gotten to know him more but uh oh obviously i always respected him but yeah didn't what when i was in new york he had already like been banned from all the clubs that i was in wow you know he would get in trouble like doing crowd work with people and and b2 be too mean so i didn't uh i don't really have i wish i had a good patrice o'neill story but i do not cool and then uh this is from douglas huerta what kind of comic is bobby lee to you please brace yourself i think that bobby lee i would describe him as someone who has trouble enjoying how good he is and that i will see you like destroy and then come off stage and i'm like great that bobby and like i'm a [ __ ] hack and i'm like i wish you could get out of your own way and could just enjoy how good you don't have to have a brand new joke every time you don't have to come up with something off the top of your head every time like you are an incredible entertainer and people love you if you loved yourself one tenth as much as people love you you would be so so happy i'm trying you know what average comic that's what i like i'm comfortable there hey guys gonna take a really quick break to share this awesome sponsor that we use and love you know how we started our own online store with tiger belly and we're doing what we love we're selling products that people want yeah and orders are going out pretty fast yeah you know that we use shipstation right that's all i know all i know is that we would not have anything without it with shipstation it's simple to import manage and ship your orders out fast for a lot less money it's no wonder that shipstation is the number one shipping software for e-commerce sellers with more five-star reviews than anyone else yeah like import orders from any sales channel you could ship with any carrier using our deeply discounted rates automate just about any shipping task spend a lot less time on shipping and more time growing your business no matter what you're selling amazon etsy or your own website shipstation funnels all of your orders into one simple interface that you can manage from anywhere even your cell phone at gilbert even like you even get access to amazing discounts from like major carriers gilbert like ubs oh wow yes yes all of them which ship stations small businesses can now access the same rates usually reserved for fortune 500 companies without the contracts or commitments tell us more about it gail [ __ ] more in less time just use our offer code belly to get a 60 day free trial that's two months free of no hassle stress free shipping just go to shipstation.com and click on the microphone the top of the page and type in belly that's shipstation.com enter offer code belly make ship happen enjoy the rest of the show you know um you know i'm trying you know what i i want to hear that and i want to be able to not defend it we know those things were like someone comes to you after the show and they're like you do a headliner set and it's man you do five that weekend it might not be the best show and after someone's like thank you that was so great you're like oh this wasn't wasn't that good you should have been there last night yeah shut the [ __ ] up they don't because they're only it might be the only time they ever see you and they loved it like some of the shows i thought were the worst someone's like that's the best experience in my life was watching that show that i've learned just to say thank you yeah i'd be like oh that woman couldn't shut up or the wait staff messed this up or they did the check drop like just say thank you because people truly do love it and you don't have to get in their way of their enjoyment yeah you know what um yeah elsewhere he's not taking number right you know but also just not taking things so personally as well i want to do that i think the pandemic just thinking about my life and i'm as i'm in therapy as well and dealing with all these things and you know dealing with the trauma that i grew up with and all that stuff people don't want to hear it but my point is is that i think in in um this episode i'm glad this happened because there's a lot of things that i've brought up or i'm like i need i want to be able i want to improve that i want to you know i mean put out these little fires i want to make amends to certain people and i just want to like um i think i'm not i'm not saying that anthony changed me i just just but you did i molded you you molded me but i think this is this was a really good um experience for me because it's like i really want to do these things and um also you got me over the fear of going up you know what i mean and um i want to put pressure on myself and i want to uh work a little harder because a lot of you know my things is i'm lazy let's go to unhelpful advice stroke unhopeful advice with anthony castleback hi guys i'm 17 and i feel lost i've had no social life and i watched the world pass me by i've been stuck in a void that i can't escape for four years most of the time it feels like the moment bobby was about to get hit by his father's golf club scared confused frustrated and tired the void i like to call is when you're on the search for something to feel relief but everywhere you look you can never find it i've tried everything but stay the same i remain alone in a world and i don't feel a part of it like a wolf who tries to wear sheep's clothes my question is have you guys been stuck in a void and if so when more importantly what did you have to tell yourself to get out of it we'll call this guy d you go first i go first what's up go ahead i think i think you're in a good position i truly do and that like the people who think they have this [ __ ] figured out at 17 do not have the happiest of lives i agree the people it's like there were people who got jobs right out of college who had like a career and i was so jealous because i like i struggled for years before i even got into stand-up that now those people still have those same jobs yeah and i had like 10 years of misery in order to get to this where i live an enviable life that if you have your [ __ ] figured out at 17 like you are wrong so to feel like a wolf in sheep's clothing or to feel like an imposter like that is a good thing because then you use your 20s to figure out what you want to do and you have unlimited options but i think i would be afraid if i thought i had things figured out or i had a great social life like you have work to do but you're you're a 17. so you have plenty of time to do that work and you you're not going to romanticize your your years in high school you're going to like look for your you're going to turn your life into something great because you know what it was like you don't want to have the best years of your life live be as a teenager you want it to be later on and like if you if the best years of lives are in your 50s that's a very successful life you know even if your 30s and 40s are miserable like so just kind of embrace that you you get you get to be different you get to you get to be not like everyone else and that's a gift also like 17 i was very introspective in that way like when i graduated from high school i all i took was philosophy classes and in junior high and i would you know i mean read sartre and kierkegaard and all this stuff and just and just that's when i would journal as well and i was very introspective and i was very um you know analyzing myself within and also on the outside i was very sensitive to the outside world and i was you know it was also at a time when people like my friends would go to like club med or you know i mean spring break and these white dudes would have you know you know six packs and be on the beach with hot chicks and you know doing tequila meanwhile i'm like you know working at coffee shops kind of dumpy you know and like no [ __ ] at all ever i mean zero right i had no like you know and but i'm so happy all that stuff happened because i got that [ __ ] later in life you know i mean and i went through a bunch of dark [ __ ] rehab you know what i mean and you know being going to meetings at in my 20s and no money and and at if if i didn't have those experiences at 23 i walked by the comedy store and it said open mic night on sundays it was 1995. i went i just walked by and with all i always thought about doing it and i looked at that sign and i went you know what i'm gonna do it and i just signed up and it went up but without all that pain and suffering and all that stuff i don't think i would have done it no and now you wouldn't have the six-pack abs yeah yeah how do you do can i get six packs you definitely can yeah is it too late now just like with your stand up you're getting in the way of yourself you wouldn't want to do the work to get a six-pack ab i wouldn't want to do the work because it's it's two-fold it's not even just a working out so you gotta eat well yes yeah you know don't don't push me there babe i haven't said anything i love you no no no no no i'll [ __ ] get a six-pack i i like you rotund i'll be able to do it six-pack abs to me it's like you ever see someone with like a very like like dainty like a special beard where it's like it's just like fine line all i see even if it looks good i'm like i can just picture you in the mirror having to do that every day like a six-pack ab i just think of what you have to do to get that that's exactly my point like i am so unattracted to gym rats because the amount of effort and the amount of vanity someone would have to have to like perfect a whole manicured look it's just too much for me to handle exactly exactly it's like your priorities it's exhausting yes yeah um is there such thing as like a three pack i mean is there that's how it goes is it six packs or nothing no no you just want some a suggestion of a line yeah and then the top of your ab a little bit of a valley and that's it like one you want to have a strong core you do okay no it doesn't and this you can it can be flabby on top of it as long as your is like i have a bad back so i do a lot of extra core exercises to keep my back in place but i do not have a six-pack by any means yeah yeah that's how you feel not how you look how do you feel about me i i told you even if i really love this you're my type i like the round thing i just when i think about you though i just think of gunky arteries and that's what's very troubling you hadn't said arteries i would i would be laughing for the next three days i think about you i think i like fantasize about just taking something to scrape his arteries and to just free up that freeway like a knife like a knife stop it dream about it my arteries are clogged oh very much so oh okay anyway that's our show is there anything else that's it all right so do you do you want to plug your show your podcast yeah i've got up we're both on all things comedy now um we're all things common problems i've got a podcast i do weekly with my best friend it's called the jesselnick and rosenthal vanity project jrvp uh we don't have guests we just we uh we just we're we've been best friends for the last like 25 years we met in college he's a nfl analyst and so he like has a broadcasting background and i just kind of go off we talk about crazy stories of the week and whatever my latest comedy beef is but it's very fun very absurd and uh it's hard to describe but people who people who like it really like it and i think wow if people fans of your this podcast i think would like uh would like that podcast bobby do you understand that's the cover of the podcast do you know what that's a reference to it's a reference to a hip-hop album no i don't oh none of you guys get it i feel like i'm close what do you think it is what is it ghostface kayla bulletproof wallets wow i'm the i'm the my friend greg is the uh his uh his ghost face you know that photo of you though god you're handsome there thank you hey bro i'm handsome here too i know but while there your friend is okay too he's all right yeah yeah all right give anthony jeselnik a round of applause thank you so much thank you for having me any time [Music] foreign

Channel: TigerBelly

Views: 710,019

Keywords: tiger belly, tigerbelly, bobby lee, podcast, khalyla, tgrbly, all things comedy, mad tv, stand up, tpw, tkats, tfatk, bad friends, comedy podcast, Bobby lee andrew santino, tigerbelly clips, bobby lee podcast, anthony jeselnik, roast, joe rogan, full, donald trump, comedy central, thoughts and prayers, caligula, late night, one-liners, off the record, stand up comedy, h3 podcast, comedy, 2 bears 1 cave, clips, bloodbath podcast, atc podcast, hey babe, ymh, your mom's house, netflix

Id: W57sBuU_TnU

Length: 86min 34sec (5194 seconds)

Published: Thu May 20 2021

Reddit Comments

[u/No-Karma-1995]

this started off pretty dry and finished so strong, if Bobby doesn't have that personal life connection with someone he should always default to comedy talk, it's almost always interesting and engaging

[u/mediciii]

The part about that Megan comedian who Bobby had the issue with coming back up made me die.

When it sounded like Bobby was about to apologise and he said ‘I’ve spent years….trying to get people on my side’

I laughed so hard 😂

[u/PrestigeWorldwide-LP]

Bobby is so uncomfortable with Jeselnik's personality style to start out with haha

[u/brch01]

Just realized we’re almost at episode 300

[u/nosidam1818]

I find him so attractive I’d literally let him choke me out

[u/pawn_guy]

This sub has some of the most opinionated people in the world when it comes to comics. Half of you hate the co-star even though you love the podcast, and the other half seem to absolutely hate the majority of other comics.

[u/SurvivalistTales]

I heard Jeselnik on the Off Menu Podcast and he was the worst guest in history. Made me absolutely loathe the man. Not sure how I'm going to be able to get through this episode but I'll try.

Edit: Eh, not bad really! I don't like the guy but it was still a good ep.

[u/ChandlerCurry]

Booby Lee at beginning of podcast:" I don't read, what's a table of contents?"

Bobby Lee at end of podcast: "when I was a kid, I was introspective, I read a lot of philosophy, like Sartes"

[u/ritzupsi]

That was quick