Andrew Schulz & The Arms of Naan | TigerBelly 226

[Music] foreign [Music] and also i don't know what i'm talking about ever so just interrupt whatever but in the beginning i like to do a little intro don't say anything until i say your name i have a great intro it's really good actually yeah all right it gets really [ __ ] yeah it's sugar it's just all [ __ ] yeah yeah yeah yeah um so until i say your name but um so i won't say anything yeah but i'm gonna give you a great intro okay i forgot what your podcast called for some reason but i'm going to try to figure it out when i go yeah whatever you want to do yeah yeah i'll do what it do you know what i mean [Laughter] bro okay ready to go five four three two that's an old korean song that you can't [ __ ] dance to i tried you can't [ __ ] to that song we tried a couple times huh baby we giggle um what's it mean it but a rabbit it's about a rabbit hopping through a forest or a field he dies i think i don't know what happens but uh [ __ ] that rabbit um i love rabbits by the way do you wanna hear a filipino yeah yeah yeah i wanna hear one [Music] that's the whole song the guy was lazy when he wrote it [Laughter] um before we introduce our very special special you know we get a bunch of local retards sorry don't cut it off because i corrected myself and that's about growth it's about growth growth it's about growth we've got we get a lot of local um mental mentally challenged right yep uh comedians coming here man from from the local area we get some one of those little ones we never had the little one off was it brad williams we never had him but we get the other ones the redheaded freak yeah but you know i've been trying to like get the other side in here too you know east side you know i mean what's up you know i mean all day every day you know what i'm saying but um i'd like to talk about some revelations i've had actually because um as you know um i went away and i'm reborn i'm like a phoenix and i've learned i i've today was a different day i tried to do things differently i said hello to a homeless person oh wow any and he goes i think what he said like that and i go okay but i felt the connection that's all that matters thank you baby um i feel empathy today i was thinking about you know you know those indian girls that are born with 15 arms on their body and then the whole village ganesh whatever the whole village you know the whole village like worships them as a god right and then also some british surgeon i'll operate for free right and then all of a sudden he takes all the limbs up and guess what now she's a little indian girl again [ __ ] i was a god she was a goddess i was a [ __ ] god what the [ __ ] you know me but now she's gonna um make uh naan for the rest of her life oh my god whatever whatever they make at least make it garlic knots garlic come on bro um i also made a revelation that um remember i refuse to i refuse to call eskimos inuit and you you and michael bisping we've been reviewing i'm now gonna call inuits inuits but [ __ ] man i've never met one and i want to tell them i've changed you've met one no don't say [ __ ] until i say it okay now i'm gonna bring you up i'll bring it up anyway i'll pick that all right so um now i'm gonna bring up the guests that we have today um so you know for 20 plus years in my career i never went to montreal and in the beginning the first 10 they go no you don't have it in the last 10 hey we me you made it without us can we come and i was like nah but the year and you know what everything happens for a reason and everything is god's will and if i say that again [ __ ] [ __ ] don't do that face you rejected me just with your [ __ ] well that's how white people do it anyway so no matter it's my bad that jacket too bro never again dude you're not a 12 year old boy from tokyo don't stick out your tongue like your [ __ ] sort of pikachu [ __ ] all right so anyway i get invited to montreal i i host the the nasty shows and you know i you know i you know i know jessie may i know um big jj jj oko and then i know um the other ones jimmy jimmy i forgot but um but i didn't know the rest right and i remember being in the back i remember the first time i met you i um i was there it was light out a little bit you were leaning against a pole outside very cool and you go hey man i'm andrew and i'm like what in my head right and i'm like who's this [ __ ] open mic or whatever you know what i mean no i'm being real no just shut the [ __ ] up bro i'm gonna get real right with you and um i was educated that night i um i went up i go i thought i did okay bring up the next guy but then this dude goes up there and um it was i had a little bit of revelation i got this dude is so [ __ ] funny but i thought it was a fluke so i waited the next night before i even wanted to you know and then you know i mean he did it again but with different material and it was loose it was um relevant it felt new almost and um he's a cool dude as well and i had dinner with him and i had a couple of agents from different agencies go can you get him to sign with us right which then is another thing like this guy's legit but um i want to bring his name up he is jew 3.0 bro like the new the new [ __ ] man you know hey nazi try to do this with this dude and this new crowd you're going to be the ones with your shoes are going to be the ones all right that we're going to be collecting in museums don't ever do that again um it's [ __ ] wrong if i think about it's wrong yeah if you think hard about it it's like oh yeah oh yeah but andrew schultz give a round of applause yeah what's up dude you met an inuit i died [ __ ] you i didn't yes you did backstage at the the nasty show outside she waited for you yeah yeah and the only reason i know she was an inuit is she asked me she was like is bobby lee coming out and i was like yeah i think he'll be out in a second and then she goes okay i'm an inuit [Laughter] i swear to god i swear to god and i go i hope there's more to this [ __ ] story and apparently i guess you said something maybe on the podcast [Applause] and she heard that i remember that i did me one she was there because which the waddling when she waddled through like an inuit you imagine i never had met one until her and she came out and we both met our first inuit and she was very she was like we support you she like spoke about the whole community we support you bobby we just wanted you to meet one of us and i think you said something you're like if i meet and then you would come see me there was something happening i said that i think i said that and she did go backstage but uh i blocked it out i think i know that's what i had to call out yeah i think resurfaced today because now you've changed and that's why you spoke about it it all happens for a reason right and that and the 12-arm girl what do you mean would make so much more non with all the arms that's a good point it's like you're really hurting the community yeah yeah yeah yeah maybe she was the only one that made them she wasn't even the goddess it was like listen [ __ ] you got nothing to do with those other eight arms or all this though or are you when i was thinking if i was her goalkeeper right fc india right olympic dude imagine you're doing a [ __ ] free kick right imagine 19 arms you'd be like i'm not gonna do it hey hey hey uh cristiano you kick it yeah that's what i say yeah man yeah but i wouldn't want 19 irons bro no right yeah why wouldn't you want them because as a as a dude it's like i feel like my hands would get jealous right because which one do you stroke with brah oh yeah and then the one up here yeah the one that the t-rex one that's up here that can't get down right it just blocks your face right right yeah maybe it's the shame that's the shade man yeah it's shame and [Laughter] can we learn and grow together i think that's the most important thing every time yeah is that a mustache or what is that i think it's i don't know yeah yeah yeah yeah i don't know i'm you know what it reminds me of what is that are you about to make fun of facial hair you of all people about to make fun of facial hair let's go let's have a whisker zone but see this though um when you see an asian are you friends with asians at home uh yeah how many uh that isn't this is the weirdest question you're the second person to ask me how many friends i have of a minority group but it was it asked by a minority yes okay if i knew the number do you know how [ __ ] awful that would be if i capped you guys if there's like a governor at like seven i have asian friends but i don't know i don't count my high school is like half asian you didn't have a choice oh really yeah where'd you grow up uh manhattan new york city yeah i know what manhattan it's like la california yeah well i said manhattan new york city okay that's fine yeah i know did you hear what i [ __ ] up bro so you were half of them were asians yeah it was it was like it was a public school but it was like half for smart kids and and i swear to god in the school like half the kids got in with grades and then half of the kids got in because you had to let anybody in because of public school oh yeah and i swear to god half of the school was [ __ ] asian all right did you get something like that or no no i didn't get angry but it was like clearly we know who earned it you preferred what is what are my asian hierarchy yeah i have actually uh oh i love it and it's changed recently after going asia because i went to japan and i was i was like japan is number one you know i was kind of indoctrinated with like the western ideology of japan right and um i go to japan and i have the best of several things i've ever had in my life in japan i had the best steak i've ever had in my life hands down i had the best pizza i've ever had in my life pizza strata in tokyo i swear to god isn't cheese uh um wanted commodity they're always making [ __ ] up everything's a problem but then right it's like the godzilla cheat everything's an issue right they're like they're really just like anxious people like it's all going on those kamikazes they just don't know how to [ __ ] land that's i think that's what it is let's go keep going keep going back to japan push through it i go to japan and i'm like i'm having the best of of like several things were the best i've ever had right but i found i felt like i went there and i didn't meet a truly japanese person or find how they actually felt about the world meaning everything was a mask from the geisha to the the [ __ ] pizza guy like it was i'm gonna perfect other people's [ __ ] or i'm gonna wear a costume that that is how i should act in the world but i don't know who the [ __ ] you really are and then you start to see their porn and [ __ ] and you're like oh oh god you restrict people and then you cause them to go crazy like i know and it was so weird like even the women there i was talking to a couple of these japanese women that had lived abroad and they came back and they were like it is an odd thing like the men here don't want us to be sexy they want us to be cute and it and it was we and then you start to see the girls were kind of like cute about [ __ ] but they weren't kind of like owning their sexuality there's no like there's no like latina japanese people in there sassy and [ __ ] right with the [ __ ] fans but like super hot about never pull out a knife [Laughter] like a little butter knife whatever but so it was just this weird thing so i went there and i was i thought i was gonna have this amazing experience i went to that [ __ ] that horseshit sushi restaurant the jiro dreams of sushi which is dog [ __ ] it was the worst sushi i had the entire dog [ __ ] absolute dog [ __ ] and let me tell you something and let me tell you something i came i spent one thousand dollars i spent one thousand dollars in in in 25 minutes it was 500 dollars for my girl 500 from me let me tell you something i was so i i'm curious about the cultures i go there to learn i was so [ __ ] nervous in this place that i was gonna do something to disrespect them or like being rude by accident i bought a suit just for this place okay just for i have a whole [ __ ] suit we're there on time i'm screaming at my girlfriend she's running in heels because i didn't want to be late because they said if you're late you could lose that reservation we are so excited she's like a big like food enthusiast and we go in and it was almost inedible no really uh almost inedible how heartbreaking i don't know i'm almost waiting for that that morning we went to the old we went to the old uh fish market right they have a new fish market like three billion dollars that they made and it was amazing you saw like the tuna auction it was like it was really sick and we went to old one to have sushi and that was the best food i've ever had in my entire life that's the thing it was unbelievable of being in there affect the team no it's the wasabi it's you're just if that's what it tastes like when you get there oh and you know what they did recently i was so happy last week they took away his michelin stars that [ __ ] holy [ __ ] it's a racket dude you don't even let japanese people go it's like you have to be at a fancy hotel to get a reservation it's the whole [ __ ] is is nonsense it's a sham it's a sham the [ __ ] it's a [ __ ] [ __ ] let me say something i knew this about the movie because if you saw the sushi in eero yeah you know how like you're as an actor or you're even documentaries they put makeup on you yeah they did that [ __ ] this is the food the food wasn't even real it's not real in the food if you look at the food it's glossy right there's like sparkles on it almost it glows almost i just thought that was the quality of the fish no dude it's hollywood [ __ ] magic remember how you was like everything is about the rice yeah dude i'm not gonna lie the rice was bomb the rice was born oh the rice but you're gonna get bomb rice everywhere you go but let me tell you something let me also tell you something and i'm in a room full of asians right now and you guys will understand this yeah i'm not spending a thousand dollars on rice [Laughter] if that isn't the whitest thing like if you found out that a white man spend a thousand dollars on rice right like like how did they ever colonize anyone like like this is a thousand dollars for rice we're not gonna do it yeah yeah the tamago was good but that's egg it's like why am i spending yeah yeah the macro was good and then that's it everything was too much so not worth it it's hard to make mackerel not good it's so macros already yeah there's a stronger tasting fish okay i was livid [Laughter] are you sold on like the other types of restaurants like noma or um these other ones that cost like she wants to go to this one what tell them about the one in denmark oh you landed magnet at the airport no it's not magnus is in norway whatever dude no it's in denmark it's called noma it's been like a top renee right you have to drive five hours into the forest then you have to sleep there in a cabin that's the norway guy that's whatever that guy is yeah this is i know the whole i know the whole hustle here yeah keep going thank you so much i already know what happens right so it's also snowing snow of course of course of course it's snowing why wouldn't it be snowing right what else you have to battle a moose no you paid a thousand dollars for just basically rice you get a 30 course meal at this place in the middle of nowhere if you give me 30 peanuts that doesn't you know what i mean it doesn't what the [ __ ] but like you're gonna like it because you have no other options yeah it's true right it's like you're in the forest and they're like do you like it you're like yeah i guess because there's just trees out there like so you have to eat it yeah no i no i won't do it i'm sure it's good but part of that is like you go through the whole journey so you think it's better than it is yeah i don't know if you understand this as as a woman as much as like we understand as men like trying to get laid yeah is so much investment that by the time you do it you're like oh my god this was worth it but you traveled into the forest for five hours right you did all this thing you know what i'm saying yeah i know what you're saying boom so we just just serve it if you get it if you give it and it's good right away then it's good when i don't want it yeah and i still eat it yeah it's good the [ __ ] pelovanin what what is it called the calvarone i didn't want it but then i ate it so it must be good yep sorry to interrupt but we want to share some amazing sponsors bloop bloop bloop bloop blue apron blue apron cooking isn't about filling your belly it's about filling your soul it's creating and sharing a delicious meal with family and friends you know i'm reading this i want to be real when i see blue apron in my kitchen in the box i have to always find out what the ingredients are what the meals are because i get excited it really is for me i eat out a lot but when blue apron's in town i eat that you know we cook it up we eat it we love it um it's just delicious and um i really think that um you're disservicing yourself for not doing it tell them more about i really like blue ape they offer me vegetarian options and now since bobby and i are only two people you have the options of getting two meals in the box versus three meals yeah so guys so bring back the magic of your kitchen and enjoy a home-cooked meal check out this week's menu and get 60 off when you visit blueapron.com belly that's blueapron.com belly blue apron cook more you know what i'm also tired of was talking about food juice well you go to like i went to a mexican i'm not even jewish by the way but you're not we'll assume oh yeah but anyway um do we all look the same yeah you know what i also like you're like in texas and you're in a mexican restaurant and they go we only use local ingredients yeah right and it's like i want guacamole get the avocado go to vaughn i don't give a [ __ ] right i'm not tired of local ingredients why are people so proud of that why are they so proud of the locals or it's local farmers here we go and make your farm better and then everybody like what are we doing here who are we joking i don't support local headphones right a local cell phone i don't support local camera like why do we have to support the local farmer get your [ __ ] business together get your [ __ ] business together and then what you'll do is you'll have something that everybody wants to buy very simple right this is capitalism support local what is that yeah yeah yeah yeah wow i agree with you 100 we wouldn't have colonized the world if we wanted to do local yeah everybody [ __ ] nitpicks what they choose to be conscious about you know this is this is this is a very good point it's [ __ ] yeah it is [ __ ] it's like let's advocate for the no straw thing really really hard but in the meantime let's you know what i mean it's just it's never it's nitpicky dude this is this is the thing that drives me crazy okay these people like they're thinking that they're like supporting the world they're like helping people back home they're like helping community centers like most of the world doesn't have clean water to drink right right and every night we pretend to care about those people out there in the world and then we take a [ __ ] in clean water [Laughter] yeah i just pissed in clean drinking water right there was drinking water that i peed in i don't care clearly i don't care right like i could have scooped it up and sent it to [ __ ] somebody but i didn't yeah i took a [ __ ] yeah it's [ __ ] nobody cares we just are a little guilty that we live in this amazing yeah like is this the malibu fire what's behind we just got that installed today dude this is hysterical what am i looking at right now is this a volcano what is it where's that giraffe dude how many times did that trap oh they burned down and they just replaced them but you know it's like the [ __ ] what is the killer whale's name shamu where they just run it back once it dies yeah whenever uh i always root for the animal whenever like whenever there's a fire no like you know the gorilla with the baby when the baby fell in the baby yeah yeah yeah i root for that so i get what you're saying so it like for instance you know i i've been drinking now bamboo straws i tried to you know or i've been freaking just no straw right yeah but this whole thing's made of plastic that i ordered everything yeah yeah it's a plastic wall you like the design aesthetic you have going on here even in your whole house i don't want to give it away yeah yeah but like the statue you have like sets a tone oh thanks man i i just bought it it's supposed to scare people away yeah the home robbers home invasion is that right i have swords too but like yeah that's the first thing we have a katana as well but that comes after if they make it through the statue yeah would you really attack someone that was breaking in no we would run you would run i would run i wouldn't run somebody in my house make some tea for them no i'm a [ __ ] i would run i would run too but that's the smart thing right like this person's crazy enough to break into your house yeah he's probably messed out of his mind especially since we're close to ventura yeah that person doesn't give a [ __ ] okay that's where we i'm like i'm weird with my geography yeah so we're literally only you know your give it away i'm not gonna i'm not giving it away but we're in the hills a little bit this is the hollywood hills a little bit but um it's only two miles from where you are but it takes that long because you have to drive over a mountain all these [ __ ] freeways yeah yeah yeah yeah we're not really that far away from each other yeah but um it's just this whole [ __ ] city is a [ __ ] yeah you know um what i like about la versus new york is i can get a house with a lawn i mean this is very nice yeah but this is from the podcast really and other you know the road you know you're kind of having like a little wave right now it's a renaissance there's a little wave there's a little way there's on the street is there a little wave there's a right now there is a little there's a little wave but i don't know if the wave is big i don't know if the wave is small but you know what i'm going to ride it you deserve it i think what happens i think what happens now we spoke about this up in montreal but like like now when the people get to decide when you get to have a podcast you get to have youtube like when it's not the decision makers it's the actual like people all of a sudden like the authentic voices have this resurgence right because there's no barrier there's nobody going hey people won't like you it's just to people like you do people want to listen yeah it's a simple as that yeah and it's like you knew you had it some idiots maybe didn't know or maybe they were they really were trying to make the best decision that they could and they just they didn't i mean maybe they're good well-intentioned who knows do you think that during this period more more of the non-talented kind of professional schmoozers are getting weaned out you know what the people who this is what it is the people that are are not truly authentic won't make it because the only way that you can gravitate to someone like on the internet is if they're truly authentic and that means they're going to say some [ __ ] that's going to piss off a lot of people like yeah those those are the people who who who really thrived in like the hollywood industry days were the ones who wouldn't really piss off anybody but they were in a system so you you know had to digest them polarizing people that are tending to kill it now right because we like a polarizing individual like every dictator in history has been polarizing yeah nobody was like dude that saddam guy little of everyone you know i wouldn't even say that it's um we all have points of views right that's what i mean and what i used to do is edit my point of view right but then i realized that you know kelana was with me when i literally couldn't get an audition yeah remember six years ago i'm like i when i met her on a date i go listen my career is done i'm doing stand-up still on the road a little bit but i can't really make that i'm making okay money right but let's can you want to be on this journey with me and it's through when i realized that it wasn't happening and all these other kids were blowing up and i couldn't do anything about it and then i started going what's wrong with me am i terrible right so i just kind of gave up and went you know what i'm going to do this and i i mean we have to edit out you the things that i say is the [ __ ] yeah you know what i mean because i'm not gonna filter myself that's the only way you get the authentic [ __ ] right because if you're going through this my this is what i'm imagining if you go through the episode going i can't say that then you end up not saying anything if you just say everything and then pull back the few things yeah right that's what we do then you get a real you have like a real man a listener gets actually like a real conversation it's kind of rare that you did you eavesdrop on a real conversation yeah like that's what we hate about late night i don't want to see jimmy fallon like [ __ ] isn't it uncomfortable it makes me cringe shut the [ __ ] up why is he so [ __ ] happy all right just do a depressed episode go up there yeah be like i'm hungover i don't feel that good i'm not excited to meet [ __ ] naomi campbell's niece or whoever and because we see through it yeah we don't need it i think he does where the elevator opens up and he's with paul mccartney and there's people in the lobby and then and people go crazy and the elevator close and they go down yeah you know what i do i go [ __ ] you if the air they opened it like that because i don't want to just i've seen him before i want to shake his [ __ ] hand yeah okay yeah yeah and i've met a beatle before yeah right yeah they're nice whoo i gotta say okay but they're nice yeah good guys the best people maybe they deserve it they deserve it but my point is is that it's you know james corden which is a he's a great guy he's my boss he's my boss he's no let me just back up back up listen i have i'm on a show we're gonna cut it out we're gonna cut it out we're gonna cut it out let's just let's get it out of our systems and then we'll cut it off as simple as that so even james corner like when i um when i was invited to uh they invited me to the late show just to hang out with jan meet james he wasn't there but the executive producer wanted to meet me because i was doing another project and i felt so out of [ __ ] place because for the longest time i've been a ronan a wandering samurai and just doing my own thing right and now all these corporate jobs are coming up yeah and unlike brian callan for some reason i still need to be a little validated by the industry because you're grandfathered into it dude it's baked into you by now i think it's baked into me because um when i got here it was all about auditioning and then getting a special like but having what it is is gatekeepers yeah you have 12 gatekeepers yeah and i'm telling you right now none of them liked me there's a gatekeeper at netflix that i just does he doesn't like me yeah right and there's nothing i can do about it yeah and so instead of going getting angry oh you are doing it this is the exact thing because nothing is more important to them keeping their jobs than numbers and if you bring in numbers they want to keep their job once your salvation is in their hands the behavior change is big yeah that's true big time once they see salivation once they look at you and you're like i get to keep my job i have a mortgage wow they then everything goes out the window these are things that i don't even have the balls to [ __ ] say because i'm older yeah and i also being [ __ ] right can i agree with that you did you know what i mean [Laughter] but even like back in the day when i used to get auditions and they were like they'd go you're going to play toshi in this audition so you'd show up toshi i'm not this is not an exaggeration this is not uh this literally happened everyone was in a ninja outfit but also with the eyes the face and i'm sitting there i didn't bring mine i was wearing like raw denim because that's how i roll and i was looking cool the way i used to roll right yeah and um i walked in they go where's your ninja outfit i go i don't [ __ ] have one and i go thank you yeah and i realized and that was the one audition i had in three years and so i was thinking to myself how am i i'm never going to make it wait you got the role no i never got the role they didn't i wasn't able to audition because we're a ninja they made people show up in a ninja outfit that is horrifying it's insane you know what they deserve all this [ __ ] [ __ ] that's going on because i i really mean this because they were abusive to people who are chasing their dream and that's not fair and karma gets you for that like i remember once i i never really cared about acting but i thought it was like part of the thing like that's how you make it or whatever right and i went to an audition i forget which lot it was you guys probably know i got dropped off at one lot in a parking garage and had to take a bus to another warner brothers lot was it warner bros and then that one had and when i got to the bus stop there was a parking lot at that [ __ ] bus stop you have some [ __ ] ball you have some huge balls to make someone's chasing their dream just go through that loophole yeah to to in a [ __ ] ninja outfit audition for a show it's abusive and they're sleeping in the [ __ ] back or like during the audition they're just like putting it yeah don't shake my hand there's flu season we're in l.a there's no flu who's getting a cold it was just so like i would go through this whole thing and i remember that was probably like the beginning stages for me where i realized i can't let my career be in their hands there's no way my career will be in their hands there's no way that my security my family security when i have kids my girl like there's no way i could possibly go through a [ __ ] what is it called pilot season and like hoping and like shaking hands and all it's just not me it's it's not who i am you know i was never nice to you because i wanted anything out of you i was nice to you because i really i really quickly thought i thought i i found a genuine guy i thought you were a genuine authentic guy and i think like a lot of ways it's a stupid saying but like real recognize is real but like i find when i'm uncomfortable with people it's because i can't be myself or they can't be themselves and when i'm comfortable with people it's because i can be myself and they can be themselves yeah and i think that's why we we got along pretty well yeah you know but it's also you or friends like santino is one of my best comedy friends right so i'm excited for you guys yeah we have a we we live in a similar wheelhouse but that's not it was dude i'm telling you right now dude i literally thought and i told everyone this and ask her when i get back what did i say when i i didn't say oh i had a great time at great shows i said bro yeah he his first phone call from montreal was solely about you he said he talked about it this is him this is he hadn't enjoyed comedy or even his seeing people at the comedy store in a really long time and when he saw you he had like he felt inspired to write again because you said things that i i've thought of maybe vaguely or even right that i was too afraid to say right and then you went you doubled down on them yeah right and then you triple down right and then i and i love this and then i go is this guy gonna bury he buried his way out this is [ __ ] amazing and he did it with [ __ ] really smart punch lines and it was really just really well done and um you're the reason why though another reason and i don't want you getting a big head about it because i think you're i don't know i know but yeah i'm a piece of [ __ ] but but another thing that i took away with it is um i thought maybe i really don't really even need an agent really or a manager i mean i managers got to change managers got to change and if they don't adapt they'll die what do you mean like agents are hired guns right like our booking agent i have a great booking agent tj mark walter amazing guy okay i [ __ ] love him we're on the same page with everything like that and he's an expert he has he's always great relationships and it gives me free time i don't have to contact all these people he has these reasons we can do um i had a manager she was really sweet one of these big management companies and i just said to her i don't need you to tell me where to be like i'll be there you know i'm professional i i don't need you to introduce me to someone because i'll dm them there's nothing you could do you know what i'm saying there's no barrier anymore so like if your business model is you're going to be the liaison between two people and now my phone is that yeah you're you've just made yourself obsolete right so i offered her this i said listen what i could use is a production partner where you guys would partner with me on all these projects and you guys would actually execute these projects that is i basically gave her the blueprint for what management will become wow and she she didn't want to do it she you know ultimately isn't that a manager's dream is the fact that they produce something yeah i don't think they i don't think she maybe saw it like i think she thought i was a little crazy not crazy but she thought i was like because i'll say [ __ ] and when i say it it sounds wild it sounds like i'm being audacious or something like that but i i know i know it i just [ __ ] know it yeah and once people see it they go oh okay i guess you know what i mean like yeah like even with the [ __ ] like the netflix thing i was saying how about like netflix when i was in rogan first time i was just like yeah netflix is dead i can't see how they're good and everybody's like who the [ __ ] is this guys in it six months later it's like never because 12 billion dollars in debt netflix says no shows netflix lost friends netflix lost the office oh they think and it's like yeah cause these things i see these things you know yeah so i was saying with with with if if it's me and i'm the new version of management right i go we're not a manager we're production partners i film your podcasts i film any shows you on the road i create all your digital content i create all your clips i do i literally do things for you and with you yeah you want any pilots let's make it whatever you want i do because i don't have any time for people who can get someone else to do exactly yeah you're useless yeah so if you don't change you die simple as that wow yeah what the [ __ ] what do they do what do they do besides listen you complain my manager this weekend said you have to show up today at noon for this netflix animated show i'm doing right yeah so i go okay i wake up at 11 and she calls me well i told you 11 and you insisted noon i know because she i she said noon she [ __ ] said noon man oh she [ __ ] up right so she had one job which was to tell you tell me 11. yeah right one job right i show up dude these mind-boggling there's mind-boggling 30 people in a room they act like they're busy right right right like what are you busy doing you don't do anything you can't be busy if you don't do anything right like what are you did you build something what are you busy with did you take anything and then did you do that that's an activity that's an action i took this and i put it here this is not busy you have to be there at 12. that's not big day my day is so stressful right why is dr i had to tell someone to be somewhere yeah yeah yeah that's exactly i i got into rage and then check this out she goes you know what she says she goes it's gonna be no big deal bob they're fine so i show up there and they're all sitting there 30 people in a room yeah just i look through the window and they're just oh [ __ ] right oh so i'm wasting people's time valuable [ __ ] time and then i go in there and like good to see you they're being friendly i'm a nice guy right um but they reminded me 14 times to be there tomorrow at [ __ ] 10. well now it's 10. yeah no they did they go because because i was late today yeah they think now i'm late guy they think that now i'm mr irresponsible so that they remind me 15 times and i never late i always show up right yeah so um and i told her today when i walked out i go i don't know i mean she i can get my own plane tickets dude can you you can do it can't you do it you know how to do it management right here i'll give you a chunk five percent or something yo real talk think about it right it's like at a certain point in time when you look a management management always makes sense when you're when you got no money because it's a free person this being your assistant yeah but the second you make let's say you start making half a million dollars a year 10 of that fifty thousand dollars a year is to your manager you don't think a personal assistant could do more for you than your manager fifty thousand dollars they're everywhere you you want some [ __ ] problem alone whatever it is polarone they get you whatever it is they they're on the phone whatever you need they are yours you're not sharing them with a million different people right you get every and if you have a really competent personal assistant like someone who's into the business excited about it they become your production partner wow i'm telling you like all the things we've done i'm going to tell you a story that's going to boggle your [ __ ] mind please so before i got mad tv she told you late at late time yeah this i cannot express i know thank you because and you can't even walk in the room going let me manage it because then you look like a [ __ ] [ __ ] that's not responsible for your own actions i'm lying or you're a liar that's the go-to to lie when you're lying yes is my your dad died your manager [ __ ] up yeah right those are the two [ __ ] ones right yeah hey guys starting to interrupt but we want to share some of our favorite sponsors go go oh god you're a good drummer bro thank you that's the be neat that's the best knee drums i've ever seen goat.com is the safest way to buy and sell authentic sneakers online they have thousands of styles from the past and present even shoes that are not even yet released all are guaranteed 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the beginning they're like i don't think he got it no they go they said we want terrence they want taran kill him he's 17. yeah yeah they don't want any other minorities but i'm gonna get you in there to practice auditioning so when i went in they're like can you come back can you come back can you come back it was between me and taryn killum at the end okay yeah then i get a call when i'm driving to test for the show from gersh i don't know who gersh bob gersh no just gersh agency oh okay and they go hey we're your new agents like i don't have agents yeah now you do because we have to negotiate your contract yeah and i go oh i don't know i thought that's how the way it worked yeah so i sign and for eight years i gave them 10 of every check yeah and they did they didn't do anything bro i did this i did not the same thing because it wasn't something big like like um like uh mad tv but i had the mtv deal right and i gave the mtv deal to innovative artists as a good faith thing right i was like i i thought of business my parents are a small business so it's like yeah you scratch your back you scratch mine like i'm bringing value to you thinking after i bring value you're gonna right like that's how i would operate a business you know so i don't care if it's a flower shop or some [ __ ] you know hey no no flowers you need flowers for wedding we got it don't worry don't worry and then in the future it's like help me out thank you it's it's just a symbiotic relationship we're good it was an exclusive deal so i kind of could only do mtv [ __ ] so they couldn't really book me on anything else and i didn't think about it like that yeah i thought well they'll find other deals for me or they'll get me in movies and they'll do these kind of things right yeah they sat on their [ __ ] asses knowing that there was nothing they could put me in and from that point on i was like oh you have to make everybody work for theirs nobody just gets a piece and that's why i like the agent situation because the agents they eat what they hunt you know what i'm saying my agent don't give me gigs he don't eat right my manager i don't have one yeah because you're not going to eat for not doing nothing right you know what were you going to call my agent tell me get more gigs yeah i'll call them right do people not have phones where managers the only people with phones at one point in time yeah and i want to say this too bro it's like this is the reason okay you you're saying bobby lee is having uprising yes that's what they say on the streets that bobby lee is doing extra [ __ ] yeah right but guess what do you know why because kalila one day four years ago goes i'm going to uh guitar center to get podcast equipment we're going to do one why she talks like that yeah yeah and i go really no one's going to run time no one's going to give up you could barely open her mouth it was stuck together put your legs in guitars so then you know completely just caked and she has to get podcast equipment they're looking at her like you're going to talk there's no way anybody understands you yeah so go and go i do it and then what i do is i go oh [ __ ] dalia started one have a month yeah santino eric griffin all my friends rogan i'll do it marc maron you know all these people you do it you do it you grow together bro tom segura all my friends right yeah and then one day every single thing that's going on right now which is probably four pretty big things is were just off offers they just called and they go let's do it you know yeah it's like and um and i did this yes my cl kalil and i did this you did it and i did this no but for real you did it no no you both did it you did it and i and you know i give you the credit all the credit thank you but we did it we did it yeah and it's so how much better does it feel when you don't feel like some [ __ ] did you a favor yeah yeah it's like no one's over our head holding anything over our heads and you don't need any of that [ __ ] that's extra at the end of the day you can do this this is the most fun thing that you'll do yeah yeah and if it's like chris rock had that thing where he was talking about like um how to like uh get help he's like you ever see someone on the side of the road with their car broken down uh you know and asking for help nobody ever stops yeah but if you see someone pushing their own car [Music] you always stop and help them because they're helping themselves yeah so you guys were pushing their own car and then people realized oh these people got it yeah these people know what's going on i'm telling you and it's a different thing it's like you're already qualified you don't need some stiff to go i think people will enjoy them yeah you know hundreds of thousands of people do it every week it's proven right we cut that guy out do you want how many people listen to this podcast hundreds of thousands of people maybe okay who knows we'll say it wink wink 100 000 people that is a guarantee yeah most of these shows can't get 100 000 people to watch i know so it's like it's insane here i go to the st when i went last night to you first of all santino called me today and i go he was singing on the phone i hung up and then he goes your [ __ ] [ __ ] like so then i he go waggle while you're in a good mood he goes um i just you know i had lunch with you sunday i'm excited about our thing and last night dude i had the best main room show i'd ever seen it was electric dude i wish you were a part of it it was so good and i go who was on it and he goes sand i lied that i didn't i wasn't there um i didn't watch it i got caught in a [ __ ] slide right here man oh my god i got caught in a lie he's been trying not to lie as much too i wasn't even going to catch on to that i wasn't going to catch on to it either i just realized i could have just kept going that's a part of my thank you yeah yeah yeah so yeah i saw you last night but that's it so anyway he goes uh it was the best manor show whatever the stupidest [ __ ] all right give a [ __ ] if you saw me i know i do it all the time no but the lie is so arrogant because it's like he needs to know that i was there like the lion the lie serves you not me right god go on so [Laughter] [Music] no you look skinny in that outfit or something like that right because you're concerned about them but your lie was like man he'd be heartbroken if i didn't watch that i apologize man i apologize about it but check it out bro check it out dude talk to me he goes he goes i'm in the right trajectory and he's in the same headspace as you he goes he even says why are you doing that [ __ ] [ __ ] yeah why you and i will do this podcast and you have tiger belly and we will sell out and you know i mean go on the road and make money and this and that yeah and we'll do our own thing and we've even talked about and i've said this out loud getting all the podcasters from east and west to do one movie let's do it because if we did a really cool ensemble [ __ ] up movie like a bunch of people that live in the desert yeah right and having a war yeah right so these kids actually yeah yeah yeah but modern times like in the middle of new mexico yeah joshua tree yeah people live outside you know people live out there they make their own houses and communities yeah so what there's a show on hgtv called living off grid oh i love it that kind of i love it the diy channel i think yeah it's the best show living but imagine if listen to me i know we have um a lot of followers and a lot of people in the business and say listen to me right now this is the movie that you want you want to contact santino us we we will do it we'll even contact us we'll contact you yeah yeah we'll run contact you sorry the [ __ ] is going on yeah yeah yeah if you're lucky we'll let you make some money i want to go back to your asian hierarchy since we oh yeah let's get past that so um good baby good catch so it used to be japanese i like my questions answered no it's very good sorry about that so used to be japanese and this is very hacky uh classic you know like western view of the asian world so it used to be class it used to be japanese chinese korean then it shifted to japanese korean chinese right then korean um on top chinese but i can only say hong kong chinese because you've only been here i grew up in the philippines i know a lot of hong kong chinese a little different a little different very different maybe it's western influence and maybe i'm just like no no what about taiwanese taiwanese are dope i know because they've got the west bellius spirits i think i like that it's like we're [ __ ] out of here but not like too far out but like we're out so it's like i think that now i can't really differentiate culturally between like taiwan and mainland china yet i'll be lying to you if i say i have been to malaysia and singapore love malaysia love why it's one of those places where it's like you you know it's the third world so there's like this little bit of danger yeah in the safest way does that make sense like yeah you know that you could pay some [ __ ] to move around you need to go to the philippines i would like it same thing it's the if you're if you're a new yorker you'd love the chaos of the philippines i love it it still feels like the wild wild west you can park on a curb if you wanted to and no one would say anything and even if someone said something you'd probably pay them off and get your way that's it right like money goes a long way yeah and it's kind of fun when you have money to live there yeah it's amazing so so philippines i gotta hit you have to because if you like malaysia philippines is next level malaysia um also it is uh everyone speaks english right and everyone is super entertaining there i think filipinos are the funniest people you'll ever meet really they're loud entertainment seems like it's part of the culture yeah right singing dance like it's boxing bro they [ __ ] up [ __ ] you up bro real it's a fighting agent yeah but they're not you can still say anything you want there they're not that sensitive right it's just it's it's third world but i've never felt freer okay i play now now i've heard uh some filipinos not identify as asian but uh south pacific something specific it depends which filipino you talk to i always no i'm asian institutions made us because when you fill out paperwork okay it'll say asian slash pacific islander okay they group us all together i thought pacific islander was hawaiian samoans like these type before i didn't realize it depends what you're talking about if you're talking about like genealogy it's one thing but if you're talking about geographical or southeast asia see that's the thing it's like you i only knew these different cultures growing up in new york and then when you actually get to go and you get to like experience the people like i might [ __ ] with vietnam i don't know maybe you know i might [ __ ] with it too yeah no i've never been there let's do it saigon bro saigon i'm being real let's go i'm a hundred percent a bunch of comics like me santino you come i love you guys it'll be fine bro dude we'll get into a show crew we will we'll do one show one show not too many [Music] but for real dude like i don't know that's the show i want to see off grid but the three of you living in in vietnam for six months for one show okay one month one week we'll do one week we'll do one week when i was in thailand yeah in in if you're thai god bless you and take care yeah i love you yeah but um you know if you're like oh i mean if you if you like boy [ __ ] go to thailand but my point is is that uh dude that's another thing about that part of the world what uh the asian women don't put close to the effort in that the asian men do oh like scooby doo dude the [ __ ] no like when i when i saw the i mean they were malaysian thai boys right or malay boys but uh but they were like the makeup and all that kind of [ __ ] they were really like sexing themselves up yeah and then the regular like malay malaysian women they were like [ __ ] ah yeah it's like put some effort in and then we won't [ __ ] these guys get some blush or a [ __ ] lip liner or something like that these girls weren't even doing [ __ ] and i totally understood it dude i'm being serious i got it yeah yeah i got it they were going for it did you know in thailand yeah if you're watching a movie okay they do a 10 minute montage of the king and you have to stand during it during it so everyone's standing i stood you know what i did though i did that i swear to [ __ ] you're gonna you're gonna cut that out there's no blurring there's no he was trying to point the camera over okay don't get that part but yeah cut the arm off cut arm off bro i stood up i i did this i i i did the noise right and um another thing is 6 p.m at 6 00 p.m if you're in a park they have these gigantic speakers and when the music comes on you have to freeze hey that's like in the philippines though when the did we do a prayer every 6 p.m yeah anywhere if you're in the grocery store or whatever everyone stops and then you do um you do a prayer because it's a very catholic nation but you know what i did i froze for extra 30 minutes sitting there yeah so i did for 30 extra minutes people were walking around me [ __ ] bro but thailand i [ __ ] you know this is before you know i honestly i haven't i'm going to tell my counselors from the place i went to and stuff and uh yeah and i want to reveal something to you last night this is something i did something last night to you about something i did last night that i had never done before you know i have a new commitment i don't watch porn i'm not done i'm not jerking off to porn yeah but when i was in the bathtub yeah right and i've never done this i've never masturbated through imagination oh ever and i masturbated to you in the bathtub because you were the last person of me it can't be my most recent version because i've been in sweats for six months no it was when um you remember you spit in my face and i choked you oh so the beginning of the beginning the big titty fake boobs the big boobs when you were the fake boobs got rid of the boobs i got really really she got rid of them good for you almost killed her yeah but most importantly i just hated them and they just getting rid of them killed you or the boobs killed you oh they popped or something my body just didn't feel right i started getting some like weird autoimmune stuff my heart started going haywire and then um i just took them out after two years i hated it and they cost more to take out than putting them you know that right of course because they have to repair your [ __ ] pecs that are not like ripped to shreds it's really bad now does it look different it they're delicious i only had them for two years so no but i will say like when i flex there's a line that kind of goes through this way like a bodybuilder like when i do this uh-huh who cares who gives a [ __ ] babe i'm flexing i'm [ __ ] public she's walking around look at my chest yeah don't [ __ ] flex it no more in public that's crazy yeah when i look at your titties i don't see no flexing when she's frozen in thailand just flex it for 30 minutes okay so um so you uh old kaleilas where you drift you wacked off yeah for the first time in my life and um it did a fountain which it was upsetting because that message never does foundation not in marshmallow he always does like a weepy little dollop no projectile fondue yeah yeah yeah yeah so i went uh and it went yeah like on the thing it looked like i had [ __ ] icing on the tip of my face yes like it was one of those fancy um cupcake pops yes you made a cake pop yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah and um and i uh you know what it's a weird master being in the bathtub though it's really weird it is good because you're swimming with your [ __ ] i know but i've done it i i don't know and you you're standing you sit with your with all the comments right and you have bubbles yeah and then you have to just go [ __ ] it you know i mean and then you see them swimming around yeah and they're very good they come fields and water it's like oil and water it kind of feels like um you know when you have cornstarch in your hand and you do this yeah no i know i know i don't know what that i don't know try doing it it's like nails on a chalkboard oh it's crazy you're saying it's about grainy but squeaky squeaky is the word i would say oh yeah i think you got really big sperm [Music] it's only three it's like it's like a little salmon coming out the river yeah a bear shows up yeah yeah yeah yeah what are we doing we're at hour wow that bro i'm safe right now and i'm gonna say one thing to you dude is just what just think about moving out here you know what i thought about it because i love what you guys have done out here and i love the camaraderie out here and but i feel like it's it's important for me to take that and bring that back home and i feel a responsibility to new york and and like helping comics out there in the same way you guys helped each other and like building up and getting other people understand it there is way more food when we're all helping each other hunt instead of like all looking for the same deer you know what i'm saying like and i've seen you guys do it and it's [ __ ] beautiful and i like i come out here to do the show when we were doing tim dillon and hinchcliffe and samuel cause i love those guys but it's also something to show the guys back home like you see what we did like this is this can happen if we're not trying to cut each other's heads off yeah but the only way people fall in line with that is if they see their if they see their salvation in it you know like joe is top dog and he's the least selfish when the top dog is the least selfish nobody could be selfish right because like who the [ __ ] are you to be selfish when that guy isn't yeah you know and then it just trickles down you guys are doing it shaub and counter doing it everybody's doing it yeah and i just i just feel like it's right to bring that over there and imagine if it's over there and over here the kind of fun crossover [ __ ] that we can end up doing yeah so that's that's really my goal i mean i'm you know i've i've i've been renovating this um i haven't really spoken about it but [ __ ] i've been renovating this this studio this uh podcast studio but like it's got a couple studios a content space i got like a little live performance space in it it's pretty cool and we're getting that ready and then um yeah and i'm gonna shoot my special out here in april oh where uh at the orpheum is there you're doing on your own or is there a company doing it um a company is i think yeah this is a company i partnered with a production company comedy dynamics and i think this is and we just sold it to a network i won't say which network just yet okay but i think this is one of the if not the first special that is part of like new media do you know what i'm saying yeah like the way that we should be paid right for what we do like we shouldn't have gotten paid a lot of money back in day because they did most of the work they had the platform they shot it they produced it and they had the people we had to go to them for the people but now we have the people if we want we could shoot it and we have our own platforms we can put it on so if i'm gonna put on your platform it's gotta be worth my why yeah right yeah and i i really like back in a couple years ago when i started putting together this plan the goal was to get enough leverage and kind of power in the business to where i could start not only for myself but like start getting paid what i thought that a comic is worth when he's bringing that type of value yeah so and i and i you know i've partnered with this production company who actually understands it they understand new media and they're like okay we understand what you're bringing to the table and we want to we want to do that with you so it was i mean it was a pretty crazy thing how how it came together but this is how it should be because what you said to me in montreal because i go you know because i was like i want to do i don't know where to go because no one wants to do it or whatever in my head or whatever and you're like i just did it on youtube and i sell out [ __ ] i did it i've done three on youtube wow and that's the thing it's like a lot of people doing specials right and then if everybody does a special it's not special right that's one thing i mean it's just what it is right like every time we go up on stage at the you know the store or the comedy seller we don't go i'm doing my special right yeah yeah yeah yeah but you know what i'm saying yeah yeah so like you have to do something that makes it unique and makes it special in my opinion you know but also having having youtube is this amazing source you guys could put your special up on youtube and it would [ __ ] explode because all your fans can't wait to see it and that's an amazing thing to have for me i had all the bargaining chips because i walk to i walk away from anything like i mean i walked away from seven figures when they first get offered it so i was like and the only reason not the only reason but part of the reason i took it is because i wanted to show creatives like just because you give i was so big on giving your [ __ ] away yeah but i wanted comics to know like just because you give your [ __ ] away don't me it's not worth anything you decide what it's worth so this this production company i met with them before i put my last one on on youtube and they were like hey don't put on youtube we'll put it out and i was like well it's gonna be seven figures nobody else nobody else would would put it up right nobody else so there was literally zero value but they're like we want it and i was like well it's a million dollars and then and then they came back and then i i basically we did montreal and after montreal uh netflix reached out about a thing and they reached out about the the degenerates yeah they did gender rights yeah yeah and they're like do you want to do this degenerates and i was like you know i put my stuff up for free on whatever i i put on netflix of course um and and then this production company reached out as well and they're like what is he doing for a special and uh they're like netflix made him an offer and so they came they're like don't say yes or anything just just give us a couple days and it came back with an offer my agent like he set this whole thing up because he was so excited to show it to me and he was like here's the offer i got you and uh it was for it was for a million dollars and i was like man this is amazing [ __ ] amazing but it sucks we're gonna have to say no and my agent almost had a [ __ ] heart attack oh yeah almost had a [ __ ] heart attack and he's like what the [ __ ] is wrong with you and i was like the last one was a million things have changed that's how much the last one was so now it has to be more just off principle right yeah right so it's like they came back and and we you know got a good little [ __ ] congratulations but it's not about the money i would i would have put it i put everything up for free i know you did it's just more about like i want comics to know it's like yeah put your [ __ ] out put your [ __ ] out and then when you're at a point where you feel like people are willing to pay you what you believe you deserve partner with them i don't want netflix to die i don't want any of these companies hbo today i want any of them to die i just want them to understand the new way that media works and the new way media works is we have fan bases we have people who love us and support us and they will support us no matter where we go so we just yield more power right we sorry we wield more power and because we will more power you know you got to pay us more yeah simple as that i really respect you thank you i respect a lot of people i really respect you okay i think he does it i think it's uh i think that you're forcing their hand and you're injecting back a little bit of integrity that hit that the industry has lost a long [ __ ] time ago they need to they need a reality check and they're going to get it and they're going to no but they're going to get it because with all of us like we have the opportunity to do what we want yeah like we literally we can sit here and have the most fun conversation the best and people can listen in and have the most fun at work there are people listening us at work who are having the worst [ __ ] day and this came out and they're just laughing they're laughing about how you come and how few sperm just kind of fall out right and they're like we made their day better for like [ __ ] an hour you know how awesome that you know grateful they are for you guys yeah their day is better it's funny because when i go on the road before when i did mad tv it was like old people we saw him on tv we're gonna go now it's right now and now it's they they look at me and they get they it's we hug you're friends we're friends that's your boy they know more about you than most people in the world right i'm gonna get emotional sorry no let it out no i'm not gonna do it now for you [ __ ] what if you cried the projectile you know it flopped so at the end of our thing what we do is think called unhelpful advice they email us we give them advice right and we're done let's do it man go ahead man i'm health advice with bobby kalila and andrew [ __ ] schultz i am a 20 uh 23 year old korean woman in love with a dominican man who looks black we have been together for a year and i've only told my dad and my sisters about him my mom has no idea my mom does not want to marry me to marry any other ethnicity other than korean if she were to find out she would never talk to me again and there would be no family support anymore my ex was black and i hid him from my mom for four and a half years jesus but i really believe that the man i'm with is my soul mate how do i approach my very traditional parents about this her name is jenny asian expert andrew she's korean yep god it's a dif it's a pressure i don't i don't really know about just i understand it yeah you guys know way more my dad when i said i'm doing stand up at 23. you were what i'm a mixed kid oh my god i thought you said i was molested oh no yes that's what that's it you're both molesters when i was nine really badly really i figured i was like this is crazy to say but say it like you turned into this beautiful woman do you think like he he was like i know she's going to be somebody like minority reporter no he's like he's like a talent scout like he's like you know like they look at basketball players in like ninth grade or something like that like he's gonna [ __ ] be at that yeah i was molested by a guy with down syndrome right so he had an eye for talent bro for real good no way that's true how that's how dumb i was because when you molest somebody you have to manipulate have some game yeah candy right you're like you know compliments right my dude just went and i did it [Laughter] allen scout [Music] so anyway this time how do we help this girl i'm gonna help her right i'm gonna help her right now all right i'm gonna help her right now holy [ __ ] it's the real dude so here's the thing when i told my parents i was doing stand-up 23 they said they would disown me they go if you do you don't call home you know the whole [ __ ] thing right so it's just like oh [ __ ] [ __ ] it i'm doing that and i did it and they didn't talk to me for six years i would have to call back every once in a while to get rent money because i was so poor yeah in the beginning and they would would likely do it but it would always be a fight yeah and um they didn't and then once you know i started kind of making it whatever they softened but [ __ ] but the parents [ __ ] this your life yeah if you're in love you're a [ __ ] love yeah i grew up right yeah 100 percent i mean i and also it it's the mom it seems like it's a mom that's more upset it's the mom yeah the dad knows dad's fine with it in my experience um a mother's love is is unbelievable it's like unconditional whereas like a father's love waivers waivers right it's like based on your behavior yeah the kind of father's love is there so it's like i think the mom is really harsh in the beginning but i have a feeling she can't cut you out yeah yeah i would call her bluff i would yeah i would call her call her bluff absolutely that's it i mean he's going to cheat on you he's dominican but i want to do this it's on you it's really on you bro honestly dude um you know i was so you know when i found out you were coming i'd forgotten but you know i found out and i was super excited i did i forgot but i was i was super excited about it i thought you were here a couple weeks ago yeah yeah yeah we reached out to you and you're like i'm not in town yeah yeah yeah yeah so um it was i i knew you're just legit what's your podcast called uh gentlemen yeah i do uh flagrant two yeah and uh yeah with akash and kaz man i love those guys and um and brilliant idiots with charlemagne the god yeah if when i go to new york if i ever do could i do those dudes i would be so honored you know i'm a huge fan i just love hanging out with you so yes absolutely please i honestly think that you're going to be a lifelong friend of mine i hope so i i know it i know it and i'm going to get them i don't want to get emotional but you really changed me man the way i thought about the business good and kids like yourself is so important dude i can't reiterate that enough let's take over man i want to and i'm an old man but let's try to try i'm going to do it with you guys yeah that's the cool thing about the cool thing about it we're going to do this old there's no like there's no [ __ ] rules like how old we can think about who think about the stand-ups that make money now yeah everybody's old yeah because why the [ __ ] would you listen to some tiny young kid yeah i want someone with experience if you're gonna talk have experience i mean yeah yeah that's why i don't care about the [ __ ] the climate girl to bring it back to straws or whatever but like yeah yeah yeah she's just too young yeah like what you don't even know what you're saying oh yes maybe it sucks when you get older like maybe it should [ __ ] burn down yeah maybe you want to hang out with leo yeah yeah that's the i saw you all the time [ __ ] trap leo yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah oh yeah i know what you you know what i mean it's like yeah we'll do this for as long as we're gonna do it um and uh thank you so much give him a round of applause everybody really quick any tour dates uh yeah uh the andrews.com check it out and i post all my stuff on youtube man so if you guys are already on youtube you want to give my youtube a check out it's uh youtube.com theandresultsnowt and uh if you like some stuff man there it is i already know that my fans we know yeah you just gained a chunk a big chunk oh that's dope man so um that's dope i love you buddy give him another one thanks man thanks a lot guys appreciate y'all hello everyone we are back with housekeeping thank you for listening to this episode with the man the myth the legend um industry pusher andrew schultz i want to give a shout out to our sponsors blue apron feels and goat uh look at link in description uh click on those links and help support the show and also get yourself some cool stuff at a discount with our promo codes uh see bobby lee live he'll be in irvine california at the irvine improv january 17th through at the chicago improv february 13-16 more at bobby leelive.com and guys uh follow us on instagram at tigerbelly or on twitter at the tiger belly also uh follow bobby live at bobby leelive.com you can also follow everything at calamityk myself at gilbert's everything bryce at bryce halleck and george at george underscore kimmel where's the george kimmel also uh for sending any packages guess what you can send them at link in the bio over instagram you give us a follow if you can find it right there because i just spaced out uh we love you guys so much [Music] foreign

Channel: TigerBelly

Views: 1,081,649

Keywords: tiger belly, tigerbelly, bobby lee, podcast, khalyla, tgrbly, all things comedy, mad tv, stand up, comedy, tpw, ymh, tkats, tfatk, off the record, andrew schulz, brilliant idiots, jre, joe rogan, charlemagne, charlamagne tha god, breakfast club, flagrant 2, the fighter and the kid, comedian, joe rogan experience, andrew schultz, jokes, interviews, pop culture, funny, charlemange, alexxmedia, real life kaz, akaash singh

Id: Z1jwXi4iFCk

Length: 76min 18sec (4578 seconds)

Published: Mon Dec 23 2019

Reddit Comments

[u/mediciii]

It’s exciting having a new guest who has this kinda chemistry with bobby! This is my first time seeing Andrew on anything but I got some old TB energy from this episode.

[u/DarthDiabetous]

Man I wish they would do at least 2 hours

[u/mediciii]

Bobby is definitely coming back to good form like a lot of people have noticed, but Khalyla still seems to be getting back into things. I’m excited to see the first episodes after the end of year break and seeing where everyone’s at.

[u/nbury33]

Wish it was longer!

[u/DUHHKARI]

Man Schulz is such a fucking smart guy and I'm glad him and bobby connected on a deep level. The manager thing blew my mind.

[u/[deleted]]

Asshole army, keep em tight 👌🏾👌🏾 been a huge fan of Andrew b/c of his podcast Brilliant Idiots and Flagrant 2. Would love too see bobby on brilliant idiots one day

[u/moneenerd]

Wtf are you wearing George?

[u/wipny]

Andrew’s great. I’m a fan of his podcasts. His outlook on comedy and the fucked up entertainment business is refreshing to hear.

I remember listening to an old podcast episode of Andrew’s where he was bummed out that no one wanted to do a special with him. That experience seemed to have shifted him to be self-reliant. That’s when we saw him produce his own stuff and consistently put out standup clips and content like a YouTuber.

[u/RatsInTheCellar]

I completely lost it at “Minority Report.” So fucked up, but so funny. Oh my God this is probably the best episode of 2019. Just in time. Nosotros papaya!