Lawyers Share Their Most Extreme Court Stories (r/AskReddit Top Posts | Reddit Stories)

lawyers of Reddit what was the or oh it moment in court not Oh she'd bad oh she's I can't believe she said that first jury trial pretty serious charges I'm cross-examining the alleged victim and in answering my question she says oh yeah I lie all the time needless to say I won that trial reposting myself from years ago story from a friend of mine he was defending a guy in court don't remember what he was charged with the main witness for prosecution was understand and was asked if she could identify the defendant she was scanning the courtroom and seemed confused my friend was already silently celebrating because if she couldn't identify him he could probably get all charged drops as he was mentally adding this case to the wind file he happened to glance over at his client who had just helpfully raised his hand to make it easier for her to identify him even the judge fasts apart on that one sat in the public gallery at a bail hearing for a man accused of heinous crimes against her very very young female relative the judge started laying out the conditions of bail and one of them was to surrender his passport man turned to his attorney and said loudly words to the effect of but you said I could fly back to my home country the judge stopped himself and revoked the man's bail edit this post brought to you by the words flight and risk also his home country was out of reach of extradition edit again this was not in the USA every country has foreigners full stop a lawyer I used to know was in court on a work injury case the judge asked his client just what is the nature of your injury his client replied I can't raise my arm this high anymore while she raised her arm up to show just how high she couldn't raise it I was the defendant representing a nonprofit that I volunteered for the plaintiff was a sixty something grandma who was looking for a retirement settlement after falling out of a jacked-up pickup truck in our parking lot the premise of her case was that our parking lot was in bad shape it was and that she fell into a pothole and broke her leg which resulted in her having to take coumadin and diminished her enjoyment of salads at the Friday night fish fry no really it was going along fine until my lawyer put up a photo of the pothole taken the day of the incident filled to the brim with water after a recent rain he asked the lady if she had gotten her foot wet to which she replied that she couldn't recall he talked a little more about how perhaps if her foot wasn't wet it might have been because she fell out of the truck and didn't really fall into the pothole he asked again if her foot was wet and she affirmed that yes her foot was wet the Oh sheet moment came when he went back to his desk flipped through her deposition and read the part where she was extremely adamant that her foot wasn't wet then he did some fancy legal stuff the case was thrown out and I went back to work I was the dumb bus that almost screwed myself I had two charges in two different courts I accepted the first plea which almost always carries probation but my plea didn't have that condition when it came time to accept the second claim the prosecutor didn't include probation because she assumed my first charge put me on probation she said as much to the judge and me being a big dummy almost corrected her my lawyer grabbed my shoulder and I she'd you not told me to shut the duck up she doesn't know opposing counsel was a nightmare everything late his work was extremely subpar and so forth accused me of lying multiple times when he had dropped the ball during another hearing in which he did another dumb move judge says I'm glad you are the last case on the call and all of the other returners have left the room so they aren't here to hear me say that you are a terrible attorney person I was representing was on trial for a assault in the third degree of DUI in my state a three means I've a assaulted an aid worker or police officer and is a felony the allegations are that he was very verbally abusive to the officers and at one point kicked one in the face we are sitting at the defendants table and the officer is testifying about the statements my guy made to him including some pretty horrific name-calling out of nowhere my client screams you're a talking liar duck you you son of Eric we lost that trial another time the judge asked a client whether anyone had coerced him into pleading guilty and he said yeah my attorney I about sheet my pants but he laughed and said I'm joking no I was just interning in court during law school but I'm a lawyer now fight in a club someone had broken someone else's jaw and had six friends with him that insisted he had been identified wrongly because he never have a beard and the victim said he had a beard they used a very specific phrasing to the tune of my friend doesn't have facial hair because he is a professional in the food industry and it would go against the regulations after three of the witnesses had repeated the same exact phrasing the judge stopped one to ask if he knew what a couple of the terms in that line meant and the witness couldn't explain it defense lawyer got busted for instructing the witnesses she'd also gotten the defendant to reject a plea deal that exchanged prison time for a fine and community service I was at a hearing arguing that my client was wrongfully terminated because the employer failed to abide by the proper procedures during the hearing a witness for the employer tried to offer documents that were fraudulently altered in order to make it look like the proper procedure was followed I noticed the alteration opposing counsel quickly got that witness out of the room and after a quick adjournment my client got a large settlement not exactly in court but I was defending a juvenile robbery case where there was very little evidence there was supposed to be two guys but they only picked up this one kid he had no stolen property on him he was picked up like outside his own house wearing different clothes than the victim had initially said this kid was on the honor roll at school his family seemed kind and were involved he wrote poetry and played instruments I actually believed it was a legit mistaken identity case I went to meet with one of the kids mentors for a character reference and he exactly matched the description of the other robber lawyer here I had a pre-trial conference at 9:00 a.m. at a court about two hours away so I wake my ass up super early to drive in GT weather to the conference I get there and we're waiting for the other in town attorney all the while I'm grumbling to myself about how I'm from out of town and I can still make it on time finally the court calls the other attorney's office and gets the receptionist who tells us through tears that other attorney passed away of the night before needless to say I was just happy to still be alive and we rescheduled for a few months later I'm not an attorney but a reporter who's beat is the County Courthouse so I've had plenty of these moments happen in front of me a guy was convicted of attempting to murder several police officers at his sentencing the prosecutor revealed the defendant got a prison tattoo while he was awaiting sentencing of a tombstone with the names of all the cops he attempted to Hill but the defendant still had the audacity to beg for a lenient sentence he got a few hundred years in jail edit clarification in the third paragraph not in court Pitta deposition plaintiff in a sexual harassment case that was suspected to be paid role play with her boss kept a very detailed six diary on her work computer at one point she was asked to read from the diary for the record and asked if she had written the accounts into favor true she was asked at several points if she wanted her new husband to leave the room while she did this but declined let's just say was extremely kinky she confirmed it was true and the only mention of her now-husband was that he was boring in bed but she was going to marry him because she couldn't get her first second or third choice he ended up leaving on his own after she read that part out and confirmed it was him she was writing about I think this qualifies though it wasn't me that was the lawyer got called for jury duty was at the jury selection phase and they asked if anyone here thinks they should not bla bla defendant was in the room I raised my hand the defending lawyer looked at me like oh this also be good and asked me to explain I suggested I tell them in private he insisted I tell the courtroom I said okay I probably shouldn't be on this jury because I was on a previous jury for this man which returned a guilty verdict lawyers face-window sheet commotion and a wait while they looked up records yet verified whole jury was now tainted everyone goes home and they start over not a lawyer but I had a big Oh sheet moment I was in court for driving while suspended in a County and in front of a judge that were both notorious for putting people who did that in jail my license wasn't supposed to be suspended a pencil-pusher forgot to press about two more something and it never gotten suspended after the time was up I had proof of this but I was still really nervous the guy who went up to the judge before me walked to the table where we were supposed to stand sat down and put his feet up on the table the judge asked him what he was doing and he gave a flippant answer and basically told the judge to get docked this seriously missed the judge off the judge went off on this guy and the guy gave everything right back to him pissing him off more and more the judge ended up jail in him for contempt and had the bailiff cuff the guy and put him in a chair off to the side await the marshals who were transport into the jail my name gets called the judges looking at me like I'm fresh meat and he is a great white shark I'm already thinking to myself okay if this judge puts you in jail run over and beat the [ __ ] out of the guy that pissed the judge off so badly he's why you're going to jail the judge looks down at his paperwork and back at me and says you're Mr my last name I said yes sir he said yeah we were talking about you earlier I'm going to void your arrest and dismiss this case your license was supposed to be valid and you shouldn't be here I let out a huge sigh the judge asked me if I was okay and I said I had been a bit worried especially given the guy that was right before me in line the judge said don't worry about him he won't be seeing anything that I said behind bars for about 90 days and laughed I'm not a lawyer but I was the character witness for my childhood dog in a civil trial between our neighbors and my parents opposing counsel was questioning me I wasn't even out of elementary school at the time and he asked if our dog was aggressive she was a Rottweiler and very loving and incredibly protective of me and my siblings his final question to me as one I will never forget he asked did your father tell you what to say before you came into court today I responded yes then he asked what did he tell you to say I said the truth now I was too young to remember the courtroom reaction but according to my father the judge audibly guffaw to the opposing counsel lost all the wind out of his sails we were just sitting around because it delay of some sort over the course of about five minutes about eight heavily armored sheriff's deputies quietly shuffled into the room and everyone was told they need to sit real ducking still until told otherwise another three big boys lead-in the defendant small italian-american gentleman in shackles he was up on a few pretty boring fraud charges I'm guessing he had friends on the outside who wanted to speak to him also there was the guy who called the male judge mom he was funny not a lawyer wife is but she was just watching making his statement before the sentencing the defendant who abused a stepdaughter her friend and Denise pulled a knife from God knows where and stabbed himself twice before getting wrestled to the ground how he got it through the metal detector no one knows he lived through that but died two months later in prison of natural causes I was involved in a pretty messy custody case the other party was a mess and had kept the child from my client for a few weeks oopy was playing lots of stupid games and kept requesting continuances I requested a drug test which the judge ordered however the opie didn't show up for it too verified he did show up he just stood in front of the toilet for literally two hours and claimed he couldn't pee I was representing the plaintiffs so the burden was on me I called multiple witnesses that testified to the defendants drug use so opposing counsel decides to call a client for direct examination and asks you don't use heroin and crack right that is for the non lawyers a very stupid question for many reasons especially considering his client didn't show up for his drug test however I fully expected the defendant to just lie and say he was clean after the question was asked there was a really long pause of the defendant said yes I D both of those drew Gus my head almost exploded I didn't ask any questions on cross-examination because I didn't want to muddy the waters i won and the child is doing great never ask a question to which you don't know the answer prosecutors suggested to me client that the canned goods he had burgled were to be used to trade for drew Gus me thinking the idea ludicrous ask my client whether he has ever traded food for drew Gus to which he replied that he once exchanged a frozen chicken for hero win needless to say I didn't win that one this is so true and sucks so bad in family court hearings because they are so rarely an opportunity to know how the witness is going to testify I'm not a lawyer that a court case I was involved with went this way my ex mil was a crazy age me and my wife at the time had cut her off almost completely everyone in a hole she would give in and let her mom visit which always turned out badly eventually we got divorced and I got full custody mother-in-law went nuts and decided to sue me for custody I looked over the law and for any form of visitation or custody you need to have had contact in the last six months and she hadn't seen them for over a year so we go to court I can't afford a lawyer but the law was pretty clear she goes through three lawyers each of them quit in turn so she finally winds up representing herself during the last hearing she was talking to the judge and said something to the effect of I don't want to get custody of them I just want to be able to visit the judge then asked her point-blank this is a custody hearing are you telling me you no longer want to get custody she said yes and the judge dismissed the case immediately not in the courtroom but just outside when right before my first jury trial the opposing counsel is walking up and down the hallway shaking hands with the sheriff's the court admin personnel a few judges and other lawyers I was an out-of-town lawyer did I mention this was my first jury trial who was hoping to just not get lost anyway I won semicolon medical malpractice defense lawyer here representing hospitals doctors this was not my Oh sheet moment but plaintiff so sheet moment for context usually at trial both plaintiff and defendant will have an expert physician testify as to their opinion to whether the doctor Hospital performed everything correctly I thoroughly researched plaintiffs expert who was an object baby delivery and found out he had been suspended a number of times for his own botched deliver isn't giving incorrect medical testimony to help plaintiffs cases during the actual day of trial turns out he was not licensed to practice medicine independently without supervision from another physician and he was one year into his three-year suspension plaintiffs lawyers had no idea about their own experts background and they just sat there with a blank look on their face needless to say during cross-examination we destroyed his credibility and won at trial not me but my former law partner she was in court representing a client I think in a hearing for a restraining order against her soon-to-be ex-husband our client was telling the judge that when they met to exchange the children for visitation the ex had kicked he immediately angrily shouted she can't prove it I didn't leave mark thanks buddy not a lawyer but a defendant as a teenager I got busted with a couple of buddies throwing eggs at cars we were only actually in the courtroom for our sentencing there was no trial the judge called each of us up individually to ask us if we had anything to say one of my friends tells the judge that he is a good kid who doesn't normally do things like this why we used to do it all the time and that I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time I wish there was a video of my other friend and I sitting in the benches watching this happen we simultaneously dropped our heads into our hands because we couldn't believe that he had just said that the judge was not pleased and she took the opportunity to remind him that going to a store buying eggs going to another location across town and then throwing those eggs at cars was not just being in the wrong place at the wrong time not a lawyer but I took my landlord to small claims court for refusing to return my security deposit without cause I did my due diligence I wrote a demand letter looked up the law that he was breaking and prepared evidence to show the judge after I presented my case and requested the full amount I was owed plus damages to the full extent I was entitled to the judge looked at me and asked me if I was a lawyer I'm pretty sure my former landlord had a no sheet moment and I felt pretty good about my chances of getting my money back I won the suit but did not get full damages [Music]

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Id: qWIOKCYsG-o

Length: 20min 25sec (1225 seconds)

Published: Mon Feb 10 2020