Kyle Talks Depression, Breakup and Life Before FPSRussia

I feel like I don't know the Kyle's story completely so you you graduated high school right and then alright so when I moved to Atlanta I I moved for the girl I went after her I wanted to be closer to her and was this a girl that you dated in high school yes it's all the same girl okay then I know the girl yeah it's all the same girl alright yeah Kyle has had a long trial has had a long off on our relationship with this one girl in particular then I want something I do whatever it takes that it she owns his support all right why was she in Atlanta cuz she was she went to your high school yeah yeah so we graduate high school she moves to Atlanta cuz she first moved to Athens stays there for year then to Atlanta she was she didn't like our small town our small County our small section of the state it's not much - did you want to be in the big city so she moved to Atlanta yeah she wanted all the things come along with that so she moves to Atlanta I follow along as a very much sort of in a weird quasi friend zone type place I selling cars and I'm working with and I make some friends at the dealership so you moved to Atlanta on the hope that you'll escalate to girlfriend boys whatever wait those are dice and my [ __ ] okay so you moved to Atlanta to follow the girl on the hopes that you can escalate your relationship to boyfriend/girlfriend get my job selling cars I'm doing well they're loving it kicking it having a great time I get a moment in an apartment complex right across the street from where she lives not the same complex do you have roommates in this apartment no by myself by myself so I get this apartment all by myself out there and I'm living right across from you know the street from her complex we're separating everything are you 18 mmm 19 okay 19 so the first thing that happens it's my birthday we're gonna go out to dinner and my apartment floods I had my shirt hung up on the sprinkler ironing twisted sprinkler explodes whole apartments destroyed all my belongings destroyed they put it on my credit report didn't let me off the hook for like eight years they put a hawk report on me or something like that for damaging the apartment it was a whole thing some people know if the the fire sprinklers think that sometimes they have like a little red piece of glass I almost looks like a Christmas light if you break that horrible things happen game over bro through thousands of gallons in this apartment ruin the apartment so now I got nowhere to [ __ ] live right like of course if she's not let me go live with her it's not even even even remotely in the cards so I asked my roommate I'm I asked my coworker who's 24 at the time I was 19 at the time I'm like hey can I crash with you on your couch for a while till I get things figured out so I'm crashing on his couch for for maybe two or three weeks and then like our quasi friendship boyfriend-girlfriend thing whatever it was meets its and she breaks up with me tell you this thing isn't gonna work whatever like it's just not gonna happen then III go into suicide mode that's when I almost killed myself you know outside her apartment that night I've told that story bunch of times I broke up with a girl that I'd known for a really long time about four or five years ago I think I've told this story to woody before but um I was in her apartment and we broke up and I was I was crying my eyes out and I like got all my [ __ ] and I went downstairs my car and I was as I was walking down to my car I was planning on shooting myself when I got to the car cuz my gun was in my car I was like when I get down there I'm gonna kill myself and I got down to the car and and I was like maybe I should now look in the backseat and there's a big bag of her [ __ ] I'm like yep I'm killing myself so so I get the gun and I'm gonna kill myself and and then I think well she's gonna come down tomorrow and she's gonna find me in my [ __ ] car well my well my brains blowed out I'm like I can't do that to her I was like I was like I love her too much to do that to her you know that's that's why I'm killing myself as a lover so much I can't do that so I'm like I'll go home and kill myself I'm Way all right let's go home so I go home and I'm like all right it's time to kill myself now and I'm like well now my roommates are gonna come home and buy me what the [ __ ] were my gonna go kill myself so I'm like all right I'll kill myself tomorrow we'll go to the park it'll be a nice day so I the next day I was too lazy to kill myself not gonna lie so I sat there in my and I was like dude I'm not going to work today I worked with my roommate at a car dealership and I was like so I'm just sitting there on the couch and and he had this huge library of DVDs so I started watching him and I watched every DVD that he owned including the entire Band of Brothers collection he I watched 60 DVDs before I left that couch I lost I lost 13 pounds because all I ate in like three a three-day period was a glass of milk and a peanut butter and jelly peanut butter sandwich and after that experience I felt better I I think maybe like you just need to get some perspective on the whole thing before you make any rash decisions and then think about how like hurting yourself would hurt the people around you and and always remember that there's always another day and Band of Brothers is awesome you might want to watch that that cheered me right up don't kill myself and said you know lent my spoiler you know I go to work and I'm just sitting there my managers like what's wrong he sits on the golf cart when he said what's wrong oh man come back when you're good come back when you're good so like I go back to you know my friend's apartment and I literally sit there and eat peanut butter and peanut butter sandwiches and milk for like ten days until I'm like able to like collect myself together again watch all a band of brothers every DVD that man owned really beefed up my film knowledge during that that's sad time and and so I'm just like well what am I gonna do like ten days ago I was ready to kill myself because like what's the point now you know everything's been about getting this girl you know I mean we've moved here we've done whatever it took we've financial hardships whatever you know my parents hated this whole thing with me moving out there you know [ __ ] you I'm going the whole nine like you know they've cut me off financially I'm making my own money now I'm doing well and I had some savings and but but but I'm cut off you know and it's just it's it's rough and I didn't know what to do I don't know where to go in my life what my next step was and I was just like well I'm not gonna fail I'm not gonna turn around and go home I'm gonna I'm gonna be a winner when I go home so I got to put my head back down to the grindstone get back on this thing and make it make some more [ __ ] money and so that's what I did so I just went back to work and and I worked for another nine months until I felt like I was going home a winner and I did it that way did you stay at this apartment I stayed with them the whole time crash [ __ ] nine and a half months and they right no no I did a little bit rent sometimes I may have left him in a tough spot when I left but I did the best I could and you know I always paid my part of the rent in any case but when I left you know I'm gone and you know I'm not there to pay the rent anymore so whatever but I paid yeah I paid rent and I paid for my share of the food and all that stuff but you know I'd occasionally eat all their [ __ ] food but in any case there are these two little wany and [ __ ] and it was crazy living with them because they had their all I had never met a European sewer you know how did you go from living there working at the car dealership then you move back home right yeah so what was the the catalyst for that I was just done like I didn't want to you didn't you weren't happy there was nowhere to go from there like I had already been promoted I had already like gotten this far I was making plenty of money I was doing everything I wanted to do out there but I didn't enjoy being out there the whole point of being out there was the girl so like the more honestly the more I did the better I did at my job and the more that people like respected me my job the more every compliment I got was like bittersweet because it was like why doesn't she see this about me why doesn't she care about this like everybody around me is kissing my ass and telling me that I'm like the best at this and the best of that like oh my god how did you do this she doesn't care and it was just really bittersweet I didn't like it I just wanted to get out of anything that reminded me of I'll tell you I met her a couple of times and she just seems like a normal person to me yeah she's great it's just a regular person I swear to you I I mean yeah I've known her long you have that's true and you know I dated her for another two years I can't I came back got her back like four years ago dated her for two years three years ago date her for two years and she broke up with me last year and then I can't even what he was like what's wrong really hard yeah yeah yeah cry you know the lab for like eight months or something I don't get into this whole thing but you know that was the that was the same girl that that I had the almost suicide with before hey this time around I didn't think about killing myself so there's that great by the third breakup I won't even feel this much he told me he specifically said like you know I'm not suicidal and in my head I'm like how'd that get on the table why was last time you know I was last time I was like well let's just do this down here and then I was like but she'll find me or at least you know the ambulance will be down here and she'll ask her neighbor what's this ambulance doing down here and those hey huh some guy shot himself in the in the parking deck last night he they were there in that black Acura TL and like you know then I'd ruin her life and I was like well I'll just suffer through my life so that hers will be a little easier and that was literally what I did for a long time and it's like admitting defeat to do that right then I would have been happy too I was defeated I'd have been half of defeat I honestly kept living to make her life easier there for a long time and think of the life that you would have skipped there's been some cool [ __ ] you know know if I took that make I have been Emperor of like Neptune or something we don't know what kind of reincarnation is out there I could have done some real cool [ __ ] I filled up houses you've got a 20-sided D and D die and you roll it you got like a 19 or 20 and you're like God probably the next one to be even higher yeah no way let's keep [ __ ] mobile your charisma modifiers that couldn't get any higher Thank You Taylor yeah you've got nice charisma modifiers too oh you yeah Santa I'm the gay one here guys me peek into your life pal I didn't know really hardly anything you've mentioned that stuff to me like briefly before but never never much yeah yeah so then you move back home because you there's nothing was I guess you felt like you got your champion moving yeah I didn't want to be out there anymore and then like as I moved I hurt my back and I was literally on the couch for like like four weeks got real fat and then just got real depressed and didn't want to do anything didn't want to work at the dealership didn't want to sell cars didn't want any part of that and ended up just working with my dad for a long time just really enjoyed I felt like like Rambo whenever he like he's done killing in Vietnam and he's like he's like out there those monks I really felt like I was doing that for a while just working with my dad like out in the field and just trying to like get my head straight after the whole thing with with the girl and and you know eventually that kind of leads into playing way too many video games to deal with the pain and getting real good at those video games time for top for what I said Codfather oh oh oh yeah yeah yeah and then you know getting deciding that professional poker might be an option for me and I did pretty well at that and I bought my first gaming console with my professional poker winnings and kind of started playing more so there was a time when I would play poker like all night and play video games all day and like dude like zero work and and so yeah like that it's it all comes full circle you know if I don't go through the depressing awful time with her almost killing myself and all then I don't end up swinging from helicopters and blowing up houses and flying drones and being called duty commercials and [ __ ] like half of Twitter or whatever I did so you know you got a got to hurt to feel good you got it there's got to be some low so you appreciate the highs so I'm happy with the way things have gone so far at least I know what it feels to to really love something a lot and and how intense it is to lose it I feel like those are intense feelings that I felt I don't feel like everybody gets that the full the full spectrum of intensity of horrible horrible lows and and SuperDuper highs but I think I've had both I'm just getting started I'm not even 30 yet I know yeah 30 to 40 probably goes way faster than 22 if I make it to 40 next year's gonna be [ __ ] crazy I got some cool ideas

Channel: PKA Highlights

Views: 225,912

Rating: 4.9462481 out of 5

Keywords: PKA, Kyle, Painkiller already, Lorkappo, Woodysgamertag, Woodysgamertagpodcast, Clips, FPS Russia, Taylor, Murkah, Painkiller, Already, pka highlights, painkiller already clips, pain killer already highlights, Dr Chiz, pka podcast painkiller already, podcast pka highlights, pka podcast highlights, Joe Rogan, Kyle PKA Clip, JRE Clips, Kyle's depression story

Id: T6nVzrNNcN4

Length: 13min 13sec (793 seconds)

Published: Tue Jan 28 2020

Reddit Comments

[u/UnknownEssence]

Summery:

1. Kyle wants the girl.
2. She moves to Atlanta after high school.
3. Kyle follow.
4. Gets a job selling cars.
5. She breaks up with him.
6. Kyle wants to kill himself but decides to watch a shit ton of movies instead.
7. Lives with a couple Lithuanian "mother fuckers".
8. Moves back home 9 months later to work with his dad
9. Becomes FPS Russia*
10. Starts dating the same girl again. (2012-ish)
11. FPS Russia's "Weapons Manager" murdered via shot to the head (2013)*
12. Girl breaks up with Kyle again (2014)
13. Kyle doesn't want to kill himself this time.
14. This clip is filmed (2015)
15. Kyle arrested for intent to distribute a controlled substance (mid-2017)*
16. Multi-year legal battle*
17. Kyle goes to prison (2019)*
18. Kyle gets fat (2020)*
19. Kyle gets cancer*

* not told in this clip

[u/Snoo-57202]

Kyle be stalkin myers

[u/Naimodglin]

Watch the first 40 seconds of this clip and you'll immediately understand why woody is so often brought up as the problem with the show...

I think this is a skill people learn that is positive in one on one conversations, maybe its called mirroring? Idk. Regardless, woody does this all the time at the detriment of the conversation. Nobody cares that he is vaguely familiar with the topic; what Kyle is saying is for those of us unfamiliar with it but Woody can't help himself from stepping all over it to be involved.