Kyle's Russian R*pist Friend

and uh but but the story i was gonna tell was when i helped somebody move when i was like 19. it was that sergey guy one of the guys that i based fps russia on that i worked drink really like those big bottles of retardedly strong beer yeah um no that was my roommates they liked the the the polish and lithuanian beers that were like 10 and a half percent and liter bottles but um sergey introduced me to nimrod vodka this honey pepper uh vodka sergey needed to move sergey was 40 you know and i'm i'm 19 or 20. and uh but but we were good friends you know like we were selling cars together and i liked sergey a lot he was ukrainian and uh he always had some hot takes uh a real fun guy you know the other russian at the dealership was russian and he'd been russian military he had served in afghanistan and his stories were about sniping out afghanis during the afghan conflict that they had and then he had always sort of looked at sergey's like where were you in the war sergey because he knew that sergey's family was rich and he'd gotten a medical deferment it was just his way of like rubbing his you know like putting one over on sergey because he didn't serve mother russia back in the day and uh but i go to help sergey move me and my buddy soleus lithuanian guy and uh we moved for him like for hours you know multiple trips in a box truck and he was super cool like he bought us pizzas and you know six several six packs of beer and we we we had a good time we got nice and drunk i ate all that free pizza and like i was more than happy to do it and he was great because everything was already boxed up right you didn't get there and it's like well i've still got to organize like no let's get the heavy stuff first and then we'll be done and it was that was it and we got everything done i love sergei sergey was a great guy um he's the one that invited me to uh to rape that girl that time that's how much sergey liked me that's sad that's how good of a that's how tight me and sergey were right he invited me along for a rape jesus christ that's how you know you're [ __ ] blood brothers right i bet i could call sergey up right now be like sergey it's kyle from 2006 at north point remember me yes comrade you want to rape some [ __ ] keep me down right you have come around to offer a few more weeks of not raping please you have to get off probation i know no rape from me it was like like this hot ass uh secretary we have jeanette who was from where's the place where slovenia milosevic was the dictator jesus christ clinton bombed them in like the yugoslavia serbia serbia serbia i think let gonna check that that's my bet though serbia bosnia bosnia that's the one bosnia i'm almost positive she was this hot [ __ ] blonde bosnian chick with a huge ass like i don't know what the genetics are like in bosnia but she was eight serbia by the way okay all that fallout then serbia she was a blond-haired blue-eyed serb who was jewish and had like this massive like dump truck of a [ __ ] ass and uh just xr mom just a pixar mom booty and uh just fascinated with this chick and uh and and uh i was always hanging out with her at reception and uh side note like there was this turkish guy with cross eyes who had like long greasy hair and i'll never forget him like trying to like i don't know like alpha me or something one day because he was like eight years older than me and being like juliet juliet who is more attractive his name was borat borac his i swear to god this is before the movie borat came out his name was barack but he said he pronounced it borac who is more attractive borac and they sort of like did this or kyle and she's just like kyle and he's like oh if you don't know what attractive man look like clearly first of all my eyes wide to the side i see everything coming i don't have eyes straightforward when they come to cleanse you and she's like oh my god but yeah she's the guy she's the one that uh that sergey wanted me to help him uh tag team rape you know i'm over it i'm like like his family's his family's out of town welcome aboard harley thank you okay continue sergei my ukrainian buddy and his family was out of town and so sergey invites me over for a barbecue it's fourth of july and i'm like oh yeah man for sure for sure i'd love to see how russians get down on fourth of july let's do it and uh he's like yeah we will have barbecue going to have a few drinks get some vodka great time great time all right man i can't wait i get there it's just me and him it's just me and sergey i expected his close family a little extended family two or three neighbors two or three more co-workers i expected 15 people to be at a [ __ ] barbecue that's what barbecues mean to me no it's me and sergey at his kitchen table drinking nimrod honey pepper vodka eating these little russian pickles and uh and eating like this barbecue meal that he's prepared for which was good lately there's potato salad and pork and stuff i like this guy wait did this woman get raped what happened in the end of this wait no wait i don't like this guy i forgot about that part it's easy to forget about the rate even i do now everything leading up to it he seems that he raped so like i noticed that he's like gillette is he's drinking his vodka and we're both drinking it we're like halfway through in a bottle of vodka and he's like jeanette is on the way when she gets it we have a good time and he like pours a little more vodka for both of us and we're just and i'm like yeah yeah it'll be good that there's more than two people here at your bbq man it'll be a little less awkward since i'm 19 and you're 42. uh the 42 year old getting wasted with his 40 this man doubled my age and we're having a ball like like he's telling me stories about russia and like like his family and i'm telling him stories about small town georgia and i i'm enjoying i i don't feel awkward at all until he starts talking about you know jeanette is on the way we're going to have a pretty good time and i'm just like yeah yeah i guess we will and he's like don't worry the neighbors won't see check it out and he's duct taped garbage bags to the windows i thought you that's on you to leave for your own safety at that point you're looking for trouble if you're i'm just i go to the bathroom hey jeanette hey uh you're coming over to sergei spot for the barbecue right she's like yeah yeah i can't wait to see you you know uh i don't think it's such a good idea it's just me and him here it's kind of awkward you know i'm leaving soon so maybe don't come you know i'll see you tomorrow at work though right yeah yeah yeah maybe you know i'll see you tomorrow you know no big deal i'm like yeah i think some people canceled i don't want to embarrass him or anything i'm going to hang out with him tonight you know it's so so it's not you don't feel bad you know what it is oh it's not okay i'll uh you know should are you gonna tell him yeah i'll tell him don't worry about it don't even call don't show up for sure movie where you would open the door to come out and he'd be leaning you'd be like who are you talking to kyle looking to janine because there is rape going down whether or not she show up penetration tonight did i ever tell you true story if i come to this country [Laughter] i did jump in halfway through that story but so your friend was that girl jeanette yeah you're bringing so maybe he actually had family and he was like no everyone cancelled this my buddy of mine's bringing a girl over she's no co-worker she was our mutual co-worker she locked in plans he's like all right it's just kyle it's just me and you i

Channel: PKA Highlights

Views: 1,640

Rating: 4.878788 out of 5

Keywords: pka, pka clips, pka highlights, painkiller already, painkiller already clips, painkiller already podcast, painkiller already highlights, FPSRussia, WoodysGamertag, pka podcast, pka clip, kyle pka, FPSRussia PKA, pka podcast highlights, pka plays, pka highlight, pka moments, kyle's russian frien

Id: d29wFZrF2iM

Length: 8min 42sec (522 seconds)

Published: Sat Nov 14 2020